Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: Keep Your Nipples To Yourself
Date: February 4, 2026
Podcast Host: iHeartPodcasts

Main Theme & Purpose

In this episode, Armstrong & Getty blend their trademark humor and cultural commentary as they dive into the enduring legacy of “Nipplegate”—the infamous Janet Jackson Super Bowl halftime incident—and its long-tail impact on American media, sensibility, and censorship. The conversation evolves into a critique of performative politics, focusing on the Super Bowl halftime show, the media discipline (or lack thereof) for political stunts, and segueing seamlessly into a discussion of California politics, reparations in San Francisco, Gavin Newsom’s presidential ambition, and the broader ramifications of political image in modern America.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Super Bowl Predictions & Halftime Show Hype

• Fun with “Animal Predictions” ([02:46]-[03:57])

  • Armstrong & Getty mock a news story about African lions at an Iowa zoo making Super Bowl picks, which are claimed to have 80% accuracy.

  • They riff on the arbitrary correlations and narratives the media constructs around the Super Bowl each year.

    “You could come up with anything. When the stock market has a down week before a Super Bowl, the AFC team wins—been true 75% of the time over the last decade or whatever. You can make up anything.” — C, [03:37]

• Halftime Show Politics and “Stunts” ([03:57]-[05:32])

  • Discussion turns to speculation about potential political or controversial acts from headliner Bad Bunny.

  • Getty jokes about a hypothetical contract: half the payment now, the other half only if there are no political or “sex stunts” — an allusion to the infamous Janet Jackson moment.

    “No stunts, keep your nipples to yourself. And if you do that, you get the other million.” — C, [05:04]

2. The Legacy of “Nipplegate” and American Prudery

• Personal Anecdote: The 7-Year-Old Girl & the Boob ([05:37]-[07:39])

  • Jack shares a self-effacing, humorous story about inadvertently hosting a neighbor’s child for the Super Bowl the year of Janet Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction.”

  • He laments, as a non-parent, naively exposing a child to “boobs on TV” (hyperbolically calling it “showing her porn”) and jokes about her hypothetical future therapy sessions.

    “The only time I’ve ever had a kid over at my house and I’m showing them porn.” — C, [07:09]

• Broader Impact on Media Censorship ([08:10]-[09:48])

  • They recall the immediate crackdown: delays added to live broadcasts, paranoia about language (“S-bombs”), and disproportionate hysteria.

  • Getty criticizes American society’s overreaction to harmless content and draws attention to lasting consequences for live media.

    “After the boob, everybody was so uptight about it... everybody acted like a child had been grievously injured.” — A, [09:37]

• The Power of a Tenth of a Second ([10:12]-[11:21])

  • Discussion of how such a brief incident drove massive industry change.
  • They note the moment’s role in the rise of YouTube: “That was what launched YouTube, was it? Yes, that’s the famous story.” — C & A, [10:55]

3. Reparations in San Francisco

• Unworkable Promises and Political Theater ([18:48]-[22:11])

  • The hosts review San Francisco’s reparations ordinance, noting that despite official approval, no one’s funding it and no donations are forthcoming.

  • They argue that most politicians pass on such measures to avoid being labeled as anti-reparations, but everyone knows it’s unworkable.

    “Everybody at every point says, yes, I agree with you. We’re gonna get it passed. And indeed, sometimes they pass it and they’re like, hey, where are the reparations? We’re working out a funding mechanism.” — A, [20:32]

  • They question the rationale for California (a non-slave state) funding reparations.

    “Why are the white people of California on the hook for it?... especially doesn’t make sense in California.” — C, [21:26]

4. Gavin Newsom as a Presidential Hopeful

• Criticism from NYT and California’s Record ([25:27]-[31:49])

  • They summarize Brett Stevens’ NYT column warning against nominating Newsom, arguing his California record is a liability:

    • Affordability: “California is incredibly unaffordable, dead last in affordability.”
    • Homelessness: California accounts for roughly half the national homeless population.
    • Flight: Major population loss; “every 1:44 another Californian leaves.”
    • Education: Doubling per-pupil spending with no improvement, flat reading, declining math.
    • Crime: Newsom backed policies like Prop 47, fueling shoplifting sprees.
    • Wokeness: Sanctuary for trans healthcare, “free” for illegals.

  • They joke about the absurdity of “per-pupil spending” stats.

    “My per salad spending is very, very high. I don’t eat any salads. It’s all going to other food.” — C, [30:28]

• Newsom’s Political Style — “Message Delivery System” ([32:06]-[35:13])

  • Quoting Rui Teixeira, they analyze Newsom’s political flexibility:

    “Newsom lets absolutely nothing stand in the way. Not principles, not beliefs, not prior positions. He reliably presents whatever message he deems most politically effective at any given time to any given audience.” — A, quoting Teixeira, [34:37]

  • Getty compares Newsom’s skill at repositioning to historical strongmen, “the way I study the Third Reich or the Mao regime in China. Unquestionably evil, but really, really capable.” — A, [32:28]
  • Jack points out how Trump and Newsom, in different ways, mastered modern media environments.

• Discussion: How Would Newsom Survive a Real Campaign? ([36:07]-[38:20])

  • They debate whether Newsom’s Teflon-coated style would hold up under a critical media spotlight, especially if running against another polarizing figure.

  • They poke fun at Newsom’s media-trained evasions and the “fawning” coverage he currently enjoys.

    “Did you take any money from APEC?”
    “Oh, it’s interesting that you bring that up.” — C & A, [37:31]

5. National & International News Quick Hits

• Jill Biden’s Ex-Husband Charged with Murder ([25:02]-[26:01])

  • Brief, bemused coverage—no effort to tie it back to current political figures (“No comment from the Bidens”).

• Violence Against Political Figures ([41:24]-[43:10])

  • Sentencing of Ryan Ruth (attempted Trump assassination), a segment on the lack of detailed reporting regarding the attempted assassin who shot at Trump, and the possible suppression of information for institutional reasons.

    “Don’t you feel like if somebody had almost killed Barack Obama, we would know every single thing about that human being by now?” — C, [42:38]

• Xi Jinping’s Purge in China ([43:28]-[44:45])

  • Brief analysis of Chinese leader Xi Jinping arresting his own military inner circle, showcasing the dangers and drama of dictatorship: “It’s Game of Thrones stuff right there.” — C, [44:45]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On American Prudery:

  “We saw part of a boob for a tenth of a second and the world shuddered.” — C, [10:40]

• On Per-pupil School Spending:

  “Why are you mentioning the pupils? That’s going to middle management and DEI programs and lobbyists… It’s not flowing to the children. That’s the wrong measure.” — A, [29:33]

• On Gavin Newsom:

  “He’s embarrassingly handsome… lithe and ardent, that was it.” — A & C, [32:11]

  “I study him the way I study the Third Reich or the Mao regime in China. Unquestionably evil, but really, really capable.” — A, [32:28]

• Political Image vs. Substance:

  “Gavin Newsom… will cause an enormous problem, a disastrous problem. And then say, we are attacking that problem with every resource… as California leads into the future. And you’re like, yeah, wow, he’s really attacking that problem energetically.” — A, [33:05]

• On Political Flexibility:

  “He reliably presents whatever message he deems most politically effective at any given time to any given audience.” — A, quoting, [34:37]

Important Segment Timestamps

• [02:46] Super Bowl predictions by zoo lions
• [03:57] Halftime show contracts & “nipple clauses”
• [05:37 – 08:00] Jack’s story about looking after a neighbor’s daughter during “Nipplegate”
• [08:10 – 09:48] Aftermath of Nipplegate: Censorship, broadcast delays, and cultural overreaction
• [18:48 – 22:11] San Francisco reparations: politics, feasibility, and public posturing
• [25:27 – 31:49] Gavin Newsom’s vulnerabilities as a candidate and the state of California
• [32:06 – 38:20] Newsom’s campaign style, “message delivery,” and media treatment
• [41:23 – 43:10] Political violence—failed Trump assassin and lack of transparency
• [43:28 – 44:45] Chinese political purges and their implications
• [45:09 – End] Lighthearted final thoughts, crew banter, and Super Bowl party tips

Tone and Style Notes

• The banter is irreverent, self-deprecating, and conversational.
• Hosts use comedy to defuse even serious cultural criticism, often defaulting to analogies, sarcasm, and running jokes.
• Cultural references (Super Bowl, music, political scandals) are central, and their critiques blend social commentary with nostalgia and world-weary skepticism.

Summary Takeaways

This episode of Armstrong & Getty offers a critical and comedic look at how one fleeting Super Bowl incident reshaped American broadcast culture, serves as a launchpad for reflecting on ongoing American prudery and hypocrisy, and is skillfully tied to the hosts' broader skepticism about performative politics on both local and national stages. The conversation then radiates outward—critiquing San Francisco’s reparations plan as an example of political theater, diagnosing California’s woes under Newsom, and questioning the sincerity and effectiveness of modern campaign style. The episode concludes with quick-fire news stories and the crew’s banter, leaving listeners with both laughs and lingering food for thought about substance versus appearance in American life.