Lesbian Robot Dogs of the World...Unite!

Summary

Episode Summary: "Lesbian Robot Dogs of the World...Unite!"

Podcast: Armstrong & Getty On Demand
Hosts: Jack Armstrong & Joe Getty
Release Date: March 12, 2025

In the episode titled "Lesbian Robot Dogs of the World...Unite!", hosts Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty delve into a recently surfaced academic paper that has sparked significant attention due to its unconventional subject matter and dense theoretical language. The discussion is marked by sharp wit, humorous skepticism, and a critical examination of contemporary academic trends.

Introduction to the Paper

The conversation kicks off with Jack Armstrong introducing the enigmatic paper titled "Queer Canine Becomings: Lesbian Feminist Cyborg Politics and Interspecies Intimacies in Ecologies of Love and Violence." [00:30] Despite initial skepticism about its legitimacy, especially given its similarity to satirical works by figures like James Lindsay, the hosts attempt to unpack its abstract.

Notable Quote:

• Jack Armstrong [01:17]: "Some Bitch. Queer Canine Becomings Lesbian Feminist Cyborg Politics and Interspecies Intimacies in Ecologies of Love and Violence."

Breaking Down the Abstract

The abstract presented by Jack is met with immediate confusion and ridicule. The hosts dissect the convoluted language, questioning the feasibility and intent behind the study's focus on "lesbian robot dogs" and their societal implications.

Notable Quotes:

• Joe Getty [02:20]: "That really sounds like chicks having sex with dogs."
• Katie [02:24]: "Is it not bestiality?"
• Jack Armstrong [02:26]: "I can't believe they're expecting me to plow through another queer lesbian feminist analysis tuned to lesbian queer trans canine relationalities."

Satirical Analysis of Academic Jargon

As the discussion progresses, Jack and Joe mock the excessive academic jargon used in the paper, highlighting phrases like "masculinist orgy of war" and "queer ecofeminism." They express frustration over the perceived lack of clarity and the abstract nature of the research.

Notable Quotes:

• Jack Armstrong [08:38]: "All I can do is what they did and that's like equal the insanity, except yours is completely fake, but nobody can tell, which makes the point."
• Joe Getty [10:09]: "I would love to take a class with one of these people. Love it. God, I gotta see if I can take a class at like. I'm sure my university has this sort of stuff."

Commentary on Academic Trends and Societal Impact

The hosts extend their critique to the broader academic landscape, suggesting that such papers are symptomatic of a disconnect between scholarly pursuits and practical societal needs. They humorously speculate on the real-world applications and consequences of "queer cyborg politics," particularly concerning the integration of robot dogs in society.

Notable Quotes:

• Jack Armstrong [12:29]: "All of those wackadoodle theories that fall under critical theory are all just different ways to attack Western civilization and bring it to its knees."
• Joe Getty [14:16]: "Bad mittens. Another easy three units instead of this crap."

Conclusion

The episode concludes with the hosts reiterating their disdain for the paper's subject matter and the academic environment that produces such content. They emphasize the importance of critical thinking and maintaining a connection between scholarly work and everyday reality.

Notable Quotes:

• Clay Travis [14:30]: "You can get in on it for free at the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcast. Just search our names, Clay and Buck. Listen and subscribe."

Final Thoughts

"Lesbian Robot Dogs of the World...Unite!" serves as a satirical take on modern academic research, highlighting the sometimes obscured lines between genuine scholarship and overcomplicated theory. Through sharp humor and candid dialogue, Armstrong and Getty challenge listeners to critically assess the validity and purpose of contemporary academic endeavors.

Transcript

[Clay Travis]

Hey, Clay, if there was a summer camp for critical thinking, we'd be the chief counselors.

[Buck Sexton]

Those jelly heads in June would be intellectual warriors by August.

[Clay Travis]

Be a lot of fun too. Some Bill and Ted's excellent adventure references thrown in this podcast.

[Buck Sexton]

Like a daily dose of that. Minus the campfires, archery and pranking, the girls.

[Clay Travis]

The bonafide boot camp for critical thinking. You can get in on it for free at the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcast. Just search our names clayand Balk. Listen and subscribe.

[Jack Armstrong]

Lesbian robot dogs of the world, unite. It's one more thing.

[Joe Getty]

Wow.

[Buck Sexton]

Armstrong and Getty.

[Jack Armstrong]

One more thing.

[Joe Getty]

Lesbian robot dogs.

[Jack Armstrong]

That's. That's the short version. During the show we talked about this paper, this academic paper that just came out that has caught people's attention, and folks sent us a link to just the beginning of it, which is the abstract. I guess it describes what the paper is, but actually get access to it either had to pay a fee or have a sign on and one of our beloved listeners is accessed it and got us the whole thing. Here's the title of this. Some Bitch. Queer Canine Becomings Lesbian Feminist Cyborg Politics and Interspecies Intimacies in Ecologies of Love and Violence.

[Katie]

Oh, they have to be trolling that.

[Jack Armstrong]

I know. It's by Chloe Diamond Lenao, who is an actual professor at Eastern at the American University, which is in New York or somewhere.

[Joe Getty]

That sounds as 100% as crazy as those fake papers that James Lindsay and his friends put out. Yes, which. Which makes his point that things are so off the rails that you can't tell the difference between something that's real and what's not.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, exaggeration is completely impossible. All I can do is what they did and that's like equal the insanity, except yours is completely fake, but nobody can tell, which makes the point. But, you know, I feel like I ought to read the abstract, but it's so long. I'll hit you with it because Jack said I. You know, it'd be interesting to get that whole paper and see how much sense it made on any level. And you're right, but. So here's the abstract. This article offers a queer lesbian feminist analysis attuned to lesbian queer trans canine relationalities.

[Joe Getty]

That really sounds like chicks having sex with dogs.

[Katie]

Is it not bestiality?

[Joe Getty]

I just.

[Jack Armstrong]

I can't believe they're expecting me to plow through another queer lesbian feminist analysis tuned to lesbian queer trans canine relationalities.

[Katie]

I just want to let you know this chick's pronouns are she. They just set the scene.

[Jack Armstrong]

I like your. Your activist pieces of crazy ass Marxist garbage. Who. Who throw you the curveball of she, and you're thinking her. But no, no, I use she and they.

[Joe Getty]

If you call me her, I will be insulted.

[Katie]

I'm looking at her Facebook. Her profile picture is a purple fist with a banner that says professor of Lesbian Dance Theory.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, my God, I don't mind watching lesbians dance. That's my only theory.

[Joe Getty]

That's somebody who makes a living doing that.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yes. Gets paid.

[Joe Getty]

Professor of Lesbian Dance Theory.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, to. To indoctrinate children into this incoherent gobbledygook of theory. Okay, so I just. That was like. That was the first sentence. Specifically, the article places queer and lesbian ecofeminism in conversation with Donna Haraway's work on the cyborg and companion species to theorize the interconnected queer becomings of people, nature, animals, and machines amidst ecologies of love and violence in the 2000s. It takes two key case studies as the focus for analysis. First, the state instrumentalization of dogs and robot dogs for racialized and imperial violence. Oh, got a little race in there, too. I didn't see that coming. I mean, you got lesbian robot dogs. You wouldn't think there's time to work race in, but that's where you'd be wrong. Let's see in the second. I'm sorry, in the first article, the. Did I say that already? The article traces how dogs are weaponized as tools of state violence and proposes a queer lesbian feminist critique of white supremacy and militarization that can also extend to a critique of the violence committed through and toward the dogs. In the second.

[Joe Getty]

Woof.

[Jack Armstrong]

The article analyzes how within lesbian, non, binary, and trans dog intimacies. We got to stop there, don't we?

[Joe Getty]

Again, they're having. They're having sex with dogs. Get to the fun part.

[Jack Armstrong]

Really?

[Joe Getty]

Just start discussing that.

[Jack Armstrong]

Trans dog intimacies. Does that mean, like, transgender dogs? That's like a former boy dog who's now an alleged bitch. I prefer to use the technical term.

[Joe Getty]

I was taking it as the interactions between trans people and dogs.

[Katie]

Oh, see, I was with Joe. It sounded like a trans dog to me.

[Jack Armstrong]

In the second, the article analyzes how within lesbian, non binary, and trans dog intimacies, dogs help articulate. I think you're right, Jay. Queer gender, sexuality, and kinship formations, and as such, queer worlds for gender, sexual, and kin becomings.

[Katie]

Okay.

[Jack Armstrong]

The entanglements of violence and love in these queer dog relationalities provide insights into the complexities of queer and lesbian, feminist, feminist world building, and finally lesbian and queer feminist cyborg politics can help theorize the potentials and challenges of these inter species entanglement.

[Joe Getty]

So I'm going to take at least a shot at what I think this is.

[Jack Armstrong]

I appreciate the cyborgs in the end because I was getting wondering, where the hell. Now there's cyborgs?

[Katie]

Where did they come from?

[Jack Armstrong]

I'll be back. You remember that? That was great.

[Joe Getty]

I think they believe that because of our systemic racism in culture, dogs are raised in such a way to not be friendly to the trans lesbian community. And they have some concern that the robot dogs that are coming our way are going to be the same. And then when you end up with robot people like cyborgs, now you're going to have the robot dogs who are home, transphobic, poorly treating the robot humans.

[Katie]

What?

[Joe Getty]

That's my guess at what this paper is about.

[Katie]

The hell?

[Jack Armstrong]

I think you may. Number one, I am impressed.

[Katie]

Yeah, I mean, I admire you even being able to somewhat analyze that.

[Jack Armstrong]

I think you may be one notch off. And I'll repeat the lessons. Lesbian and queer feminist cyborg politics can help theorize the potentials and challenges of these interspecies entanglements. Well, no, I think. Yeah, so. So the relationship of a trans person with a dog, robot or otherwise can.

[Joe Getty]

Dogs are being raised to be transphobic.

[Jack Armstrong]

A headache.

[Joe Getty]

And they're concerned that when we have robot dogs and robot people, it will continue. Then we'll have transphobic robot dogs. How are you trans if you're a robot, though? A person? What difference does it make once you're a robot?

[Katie]

What are we talking about?

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, you know what, I'm with Katie. I. I'm reminded of, you know, you get somebody who's just like a complete psychopath and does all these weird things and people say, what were they thinking? No, no. You can't come up with a rational explanation for the irrational. You're wasting your time.

[Joe Getty]

You got to figure it out, Michael.

[Michael]

No, I was just thinking this is why I took aerobics in college.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, I do. Bowling.

[Buck Sexton]

The best way to understand all sides of an issue is to know all sides of an issue.

[Clay Travis]

Can't get that in the mainstream media. Which is why you've got to listen to some Clay and Buck for another point of view. Buck?

[Buck Sexton]

Why are you going third person?

[Clay Travis]

Because, Clay, I think this ad is running in places that might not exactly align with all of our politics or even know who we are.

[Buck Sexton]

It's impossible. But maybe if it's true. I bet if they did listen, they'd end up agreeing with us on at least one issue, even if they secretly want it mitted.

[Clay Travis]

Well, the only way they're going to find out is if they download the Clay Travis and Buck Sexton show podcast on the iHeartRadio app or wherever they get their pods.

[Buck Sexton]

We're easy to find. Unlike your wife at Costco, Clay, you speak the truth.

[Clay Travis]

But we're already losing people.

[Buck Sexton]

I think I gained one or two just now.

[Clay Travis]

In case you haven't noticed, we like to have a lot of fun as well as talk about what's going on in the world.

[Buck Sexton]

Come hang with us today and every day at Clay and buck. Download the iHeartRadio app, search out those names. Clay, Travis, Buck Sexton and come hang.

[Jack Armstrong]

All right, I'm just gonna pick a sentence or two at random. @ the same time, it offers a model for a post gender world that can be ironically blasphemous and subverts its origins in the appropriation of women's bodies in a masculinist orgy of war and other oppressive traditions, including the tradition of racist male dominated capitalism, the tradition of progress, the tradition of the appropr of nature as a resource for the production of culture, the tradition of reproduction of the self from the reflections of the other. You know, one thing they. They ought to spend more time studying is grammar. Like throw in a period now and.

[Joe Getty]

Again or a comma or. Right, So I can break it down by phrase.

[Katie]

Masculinist orgy of war.

[Joe Getty]

That's a good band. Yeah, they rock hard.

[Katie]

I saw them at the Warfield San Francisco.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh yeah? Yeah. Wow.

[Katie]

She wrote this out and then threw it into chat GPT and just said make this as wordy and confusing as humanly possible.

[Joe Getty]

I would love to take a class with one of these people. Love it. God, I gotta see if I can take a class at like. I'm sure my university has this sort of stuff in. In the town I live in, UC Davis. Take one of these classes and ask sincere sounding questions. Like just fully indulge their bullshit. Oh my God, you've really hit something here with me. The masculine orgy of war or whatever that phrase was. Expound on that for me with you. And you just let them go on with their.

[Jack Armstrong]

Right. What's revealing about this and so interesting and odd is that this is. Again, I just picked another sentence at random. In doing so, the article develops a queer and lesbian feminist approach to living in coalition with the more than human with Attention to what Stevens and Sprinkle name in this journal issue as co sen an ethical embodied mode of relating to the earth, attuned to the sensorial and activated through the erotic playfulness and joy. Every single sentence is so. I mean, just stuffed full of jargon.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

It can mean whatever they say it means or mean nothing at all.

[Joe Getty]

I'm so happy to have become.

[Jack Armstrong]

Tutored.

[Joe Getty]

By James Lindsay in his books and his tweets about how this is on purpose to make you feel dumb, because I no longer feel dumb when I hear this stuff. I realize you're trying to. You're trying to, you know, pull the wool over my eyes by using a bunch of phrases and words that don't mean anything or only mean something to you and make me feel dumb. So I'll sit here and listen to this crap.

[Jack Armstrong]

Right.

[Joe Getty]

And I don't feel that way anymore, which is good.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. It almost becomes a riddle. All right. What are they talking about? I'm reminded, you know, we got. We did not get enough mileage out of the clip that came out. Might have been during the crazy Columbia demonstrations like last winter, in which one of the leaders of the up with terrorism, which is actually just down with Western civilization. All of this boils down to tearing down Western civilization. And this gal, because of course it's an angry woman, was saying, you've learned your colonialist theory and your gender theory and your queer theory and your Marxist theory or whatever. It's time to take all of your theory theories and put them into action. And that was a really good kind of summary what all of this is. All of those wackadoodle theories that fall under critical theory are all just different ways to attack Western civilization and, and bring it to its knees so you can infiltrate it then. Then usher in your Marxist utopia. And all of this stuff is what that looks like inside the sausage factory.

[Joe Getty]

It's something. Sure. I. I tell you this. I ain't gonna pay for my kid to sit in one of those classrooms and learn that crap. It ain't gonna happen. If they somehow decide they really want that, they'll have to take out a loan or figure it out on their own.

[Jack Armstrong]

One more. Just one more. Can I please. Lesbian feminism integrated with queer ecofeminism, animal studies, and critical post humanisms provide tools to rethink non hetero patriarchal relations across more than human realms. Queer ecofeminism involves liberating the erotic alongside nature, queers and women, challenging the hierarchical dualisms that link mind, body, reason, emotion, man, woman, bipoc human, animal, nature, culture, and heterosexual, queer.

[Joe Getty]

It's. It's almost impossible to believe it's real. It's almost impossible to believe it's real.

[Katie]

I'm convinced we're being trolled by this she. They.

[Jack Armstrong]

I can believe that somewhere in America there's a crazy old man tunelessly playing the saw. You ever seen anybody play the singing saw? I can believe that and accept it. The idea that someone's paying them to do that and they have tenure, that's where it gets crazy to me. And that's what this stuff is.

[Joe Getty]

The most important thing we learned from today's podcast that the Purple Fist represents what? Katie.

[Katie]

Oh, Stanford circulation.

[Jack Armstrong]

Your bracelet's too tight.

[Katie]

Yeah, professor of lesbian dance theory.

[Joe Getty]

Yes, the Purple Fist is lesbian dancer. Or as Joey said, your scrunchies too tight around your wrist.

[Katie]

Your scrunchies too tight.

[Michael]

Bad mittens. Another easy three units instead of this crap. Well, I guess that's it.

[Clay Travis]

Hey, Clay, if there was a summer camp for critical thinking, we'd be the chief counselors.

[Buck Sexton]

Those jelly heads in June would be intellectual warriors by August.

[Clay Travis]

Be a lot of fun, too. Some Bill and Ted's excellent adventure references thrown in this podcast.

[Buck Sexton]

Like a daily dose of that. Minus the campfires, archery and pranking the girls.

[Clay Travis]

The bonafide boot camp for critical thinking. You can get in on it for free at the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcast. Just search our names, Clay and Bach. Listen and subscribe.