Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: Let's Disappear, Change Our Names & Live Our Lives...

Date: September 2, 2025
Duration: ~11 minutes
Host: iHeartPodcasts

Episode Overview

This episode explores a deeply philosophical, relatable urge: the desire to abandon current obligations and identities to pursue a new life. Spurred by a bumper sticker (“Let’s disappear, change our names & live our lives”), the conversation wades into the nature of self-delusion versus painful honesty, referencing Woody Allen, Bill Maher, and playwright Eugene O’Neill. With humor and candor, Armstrong and Getty probe whether self-deception might be necessary for happiness and ask: How much illusion is healthy, and how much reality can we actually bear?

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Allure of Starting Over

• Bumper Sticker as Catalyst
  • B (Armstrong): “Let’s disappear, change our names and live the life we really want to live.” [01:04]
  • Discusses seeing this on a bumper sticker and feeling its immediate appeal.
  • Raises the question: Is this urge universal, or only for some?
• Escaping Routine
  • B reflects on vacation moments:
    • “Practically every vacation… I get away from the daily grind and then I start to think… I’ve messed up my life. Why am I living my life the way it is?” [01:56]
    • Imagines small-town simplicity as an alternative.

2. Idealization Versus Reality of “Starting Over”

• Porch Sitting
  • C (Getty): “Porch sitting is a time honored pastime.” [02:31]
  • B’s friend jokes he'd last six minutes as a porch-sitter.
• Realities of Change
  • Both hosts recognize the fantasy often collapses under scrutiny—real contentment is more complex than merely relocating or rebranding oneself.

3. Illusion versus Brutal Honesty in Human Happiness

• Woody Allen & Bill Maher Interview
  • B recounts an interview where Allen describes his life as unremarkable, not searching for existential meaning.
    • “I make movies and then I mostly watch sports and old TV shows. That’s my life.” [03:22]
• Eugene O’Neill’s Paradoxical Quote
  • “A life with illusions is unpardonable. But a life without illusions is unbearable.” [03:17]
  • Bill Maher and Allen agree: self-delusion is intrinsic to survival.
  • B reflects: “We all lie to ourselves… because you couldn’t handle it if you didn’t.” [04:30]

4. Shaping Our Own Narratives

• Memory as Self-Deception
  • B: “We change memories throughout the years to better fit our narrative… just the human condition.” [06:22]
  • Raises issue of subjective memory even within a family ("We all have different versions of a couple of different things that happened… we all remember them differently…” [06:53])
• C: “It’s like every time you remember something, you’re remembering your last memory of it. It’s like playing a game of telephone—with yourself.” [07:23]

5. Examples and Limits of Healthy Self-Delusion

• Confidence and Self-Perception
  • C: “A good example is people thinking they’re more attractive than they are… you’re better off being a little more confident than you probably deserve to be.” [05:25]
  • B: Raises cases where self-delusion can be harmful (“…someone who considers themselves a good parent who is most definitely not…” [08:09])
• Striking the Balance
  • The hosts agree some self-delusion is necessary, but unchecked can be dangerous, especially in relationships and self-assessment.

6. Personality, Control, and Acceptance

• Immutable Traits
  • B: “You don’t have a whole lot of control over your personality. I don’t know what percentage you do, but it ain’t a ton.” [09:47]
  • C: Too much self-contemplation “will make you insane.” [09:56]
  • Sometimes, it’s healthier to keep things “in soft focus.”

7. Contemporary Reference

• Does Trump Ever Worry About This?
  • B: “Does Trump ever worry about any of that? Does he just plow forward and have a pretty happy life because of it?” [10:33]
  • C: Thinks Trump’s unreflective nature may contribute to his happiness.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Temptation to Flee:
  • “Let’s disappear, change our names and live the life we really want to live. …I saw that on a bumper sticker once and it hit me like a ton of bricks.” – B [01:04]
• On Human Psychology:
  • “A life with illusions is unpardonable. But a life without illusions is unbearable.” – B (quoting Eugene O’Neill) [03:17, 08:09]
  • “We all lie to ourselves to a certain extent… you couldn’t handle it if you didn’t.” – B [04:30]
• On Memory:
  • “It’s like every time you remember something, you’re remembering your last memory of it. It’s like playing a game of telephone—with yourself.” – C [07:23]
• Comic Relief:
  • C jokes about a memory: “I was having sex with Farrah Fawcett… she said, ‘Joe, we remember things to make ourselves happy. So I want you to remember this in a way that makes you happy.’ And I still do.” [07:47]
• On Self-Reflection:
  • “Self contemplation constantly will make you insane.” – C [09:56]
  • “At some point, just get stuff done.” – C [10:10]
• On Personality:
  • “You don’t have a whole lot of control over your own personality… it ain’t a ton.” – B [09:47]

Key Timestamps

• [01:04] – The bumper sticker sparks the theme: fantasy of starting anew.
• [03:17] – Introduction of Eugene O’Neill’s quote; core philosophical question.
• [06:22] – Discussion of malleable memory and shifting narratives.
• [07:47] – Memorable Farrah Fawcett joke illustrating happy self-delusion.
• [08:09] – Applied example: deluded self-assessment in parenting.
• [09:47] – Limits of control over one’s personality.
• [10:33] – Trump's oblivious happiness as a case study.

Tone

The hosts mix philosophical depth with characteristic humor and self-deprecation, inviting listeners to both contemplate and laugh at the quirks of human nature. The conversation balances relatable personal anecdotes with big-picture reflections, always maintaining an informal, approachable style.

For listeners interested in the intersection of psychology, philosophy, and everyday life—with plenty of wit—this episode probes why the grass sometimes seems greener, why we cling to our self-constructed stories, and how illusions, paradoxically, help keep us sane.