My Mom Would Be Disappointed

Summary

Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: "My Mom Would Be Disappointed"

Release Date: May 13, 2026
Hosts: Armstrong & Getty

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Episode Overview

In this short and personal "One More Thing" segment, Armstrong candidly recounts an embarrassing and painful incident involving injury, frustration, and life lessons from his mother. The episode revolves around themes of aging, patience, emotional self-control, and learning from our not-so-proud moments. Getty joins in with commentary, humor, and his own relatable anecdotes about adrenaline and regret.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Armstrong’s Golf Injury Story

• Armstrong shares he will be absent from work for a golf tournament (02:21)

  • Usually nervous about performance, but this time his main concern is not aggravating an existing injury:
  • Humorous explanation of anatomy, referencing old injuries and "learning a lot about anatomy" as you get older (03:30).
  • Admits “trouble activating my glutes. Just like Tiger.” (03:41)

• Sticking to a new golf swing routine (03:57)

  • Armstrong vows to swing a golf club 20 times a day, inspired by a lesson, aiming to increase flexibility in spite of hip replacements and arthritis.
  • On day two, pressed for time, feels he must maintain his streak despite being busy.

• Encounter with a persistent stranger/door-to-door salesman (04:40)

  • As he stretches before swinging, is approached by a thirty-something, bearded man in his driveway.
  • Lengthy, awkward banter about injuries and stretching ensues, with Armstrong trying to suss out the man’s intentions (05:31):
    • Armstrong, growing frustrated, finally says:

      "Are we just two guys talking about stretching on my driveway, or is there something I can do for you?" (05:53)

    • The stranger, “Brandon,” reveals he’s a project manager working on a neighbor’s roof and attempts to sell a roofing inspection plan.

• Frustration and the “Orange Whip Incident” (06:43)

  • Annoyed by having his routine derailed, Armstrong vents his frustration by violently swinging a golf training tool—the “Orange Whip”—picturing the salesman as a target (07:18).
  • Physical consequences:
    • Wakes the next day in severe pain, “can’t walk,” everything in spasm—requires muscle relaxants and painkillers (07:53).
    • Getty, surprised:

      “But it didn’t happen at the time when you were doing that?” (07:55)

• Delayed pain and the power of adrenaline (08:16)

  • Both hosts share experiences of adrenaline masking pain:
    • Getty recounts not noticing injuries until after a motorcycle wreck:

      “I was halfway home in that Uber, bleeding all over this back seat, everything. All of a sudden, oh, my God, this hurts.” (08:16)

Lessons from Mom: Emotional Self-Control

• Armstrong reflects on his childhood and his mother’s advice (08:42–08:59):

  "My mom always said, because my sister and I were a year apart, and we'd fight sometimes... she'd always say, don't say they made you mad. That's a decision you make. You're in control of your emotions and your reactions." (08:56)

  • Getty approves: “That's a good one.” (08:58)

• Insightful conclusion:

  • Armstrong admits he failed to follow that wisdom:

    “He made me mad, and I'm paying the stupid tax.” (09:01)

The "Stupid Tax" and Getting Older

• Playful self-deprecation about the consequences of losing your temper as you age:
  • “How'd you hurt your leg? Well, this bearded guy was trying to sell me roof.” (09:13)
  • “I got mad at a salesperson is not a good answer.” (09:18)
  • Armstrong jokes:

    “It doesn't sound good that the reason I'm hurt for weeks or months or maybe forever is because I got so mad at a salesperson, totally lost my head and abused my own body. I punched myself in the face repeatedly to show him how mad I was.” (09:25–09:41)

• Getty laughs at the self-own: "Might as well have. Cheese. What a jackass. The stupid tax. There it is." (09:42)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• The Origin of the “Stupid Tax”:

  “He made me mad, and I'm paying the stupid tax.”
  — Armstrong (09:01)

• On Self-Control:

  “Don’t say they made you mad. That’s a decision you make. You’re in control of your emotions and your reactions.”
  — Armstrong, quoting his mother (08:56)

• On Adrenaline and Failing to Notice Injury:

  "Adrenaline’s the most incredible painkiller in the world. I’ve experienced that playing sports where you get done and you realize your sock and your shoe are full of blood. You’re like, what the hell happened?”
  — Armstrong (08:11)

• Getty’s Motorcycle Accident Story:

  "I was halfway home in that Uber, bleeding all over this back seat, everything. All of a sudden, oh my God, this hurts."
  — Getty (08:16)

• Lovingly Mocking Aging:

  "Never mind makes. I got pissed and forgot I'm old..."
  — Armstrong (09:21)

• Summing it All Up:

  "The stupid tax. There it is. Well, I guess that's it."
  — Armstrong/ Getty (09:42–09:55)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Armstrong’s injury story begins: 02:21
• Anatomy & Aging: 03:30
• Golf routine and injury setup: 03:57–04:40
• Stranger approaches (sales pitch story): 04:40–06:42
• Orange Whip meltdown & aftermath: 06:43–07:53
• Pain and adrenaline conversation: 08:11–08:25
• Wise words from Armstrong’s mom: 08:56–09:01
• Reflections on the “stupid tax,” aging, and self-deprecation: 09:01–09:42

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Episode Takeaways

• Getting older brings not just physical vulnerabilities but teaches humility (and anatomy).
• Emotional self-control is vital: sometimes, losing your cool leads to outcomes you’ll literally feel for weeks.
• The “stupid tax” is the price we pay for acting in anger—and it’s often not worth it.
• Sometimes, the stories of how injuries actually happen are funnier—and more embarrassing—than the injuries themselves.

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Overall Tone: Self-deprecating, warmly humorous, honest, and conversational, with Armstrong in the role of cautionary example and Getty as both empathetic listener and comic foil. Perfectly suited for listeners who appreciate humor in the trials of everyday life and the wisdom (often ignored) of our mothers.

Transcript

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[Armstrong]

My mother would be disappointed in me. It's one more thing. Armstrong and Getty. One more thing.

[Getty]

That's a heavy One more thing. Living knowing your mom would be disappointed in you again. That's right,

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again.

[Armstrong]

So I was I'm going to not be at work manana tomorrow. We are speaking these words on Wednesday 13th May. I will be off tomorrow. I'm playing in a golf tournament and normally I'd be worried about how I'm going to play, concerned, a little nervous how you are before a sports thingy. But all I worry about this time is not being injured, not aggravating an injury I've got. Which is. I had a tear in some of the muscles, like the adductor that Al Gore used to like to get rubbed because it gets near your crack. You know, if you. If you're going to squeeze a basketball between your knees, that's your adductors.

[Getty]

Okay.

[Armstrong]

And then you're.

[Getty]

Why would I. Why would I want to do that?

[Armstrong]

So it doesn't fall to the ground, obviously. Yeah.

[Getty]

And hands are full of something else, clearly.

[Armstrong]

Yeah. And then you got your hamstrings, which is like the muscles of the back of your leg. And there's a couple in the. The one that's close to the adductor, so I strain the crap out of that.

[Getty]

What's that one?

[Armstrong]

Couple of muscles? Your interior hamstring or something? I don't remember. Anyway, boy, getting old teaches you about anatomy. Did you forget to activate your glutes? I did, Michael. I have a lot of trouble activating my glutes. Just like tiger. All right, so here's how I heard it. Them. It. That area. I take this golf lesson. It's great.

[Getty]

Keep your head down. Keep your left arm straight.

[Armstrong]

Oh, you took the same lesson, huh? And. And. And I realized, okay, that's great, and it's really helping me, but I'm still not flexible enough to pull it off regularly because of all my arthritis and hip replacements, stuff like that. And so I vow I'm going to swing a golf club 20 times a day, every single day. That's the best way to stretch it out, make it an everyday thing. Just go out in my driveway, swing it, and go back and do whatever I'm doing. So, like, day two of this, I go out into my super busy day. We had a busy day at work, and then I had an appointment. I've got five minutes to do my golf swings, and it's day two. So I'm like, if you don't do it today.

[Getty]

Yeah, that ain't happen.

[Armstrong]

Yeah, yeah. You. You ended your resolution on January 3rd. Just SA. And so I go out into my driveway and I take a swing. Then I think, you know, you need to stretch a little bit. So I'm stretching out. I'm like doing toe touches, more or less, and I hear a door slam. Car door, pickup truck, door guy ambles up my driveway doing a little stretching. Huh? He says, About 30 years old, Beard. I'm like, yeah, yeah, Trying to get loose enough.

[Getty]

What are you selling me here?

[Armstrong]

Oh, my God. And he says, yeah, yeah, I got compressed my account. What's it? The compressed My vertebrae number three, number four. Yeah. I said, oh, you're too young for that. He goes, yeah, yeah, it really hurts sometimes. And I'm like, okay, yeah. And he says something else.

[Getty]

And he's in your driveway.

[Armstrong]

Yeah. He's walking your property. He's walking on my driveway. I've got like a short driveway and then a big ish area where you can park. And. And he's walking toward me. Yeah, this. Then I tell you what. And I'm like, finally, I help you with something. Finally I said to him, I. I said, look, are we just two guys talking about stretching on my driveway, or is there something I can do for you? What?

[Getty]

You said, yes,

[Armstrong]

yes.

[Getty]

That's a funny thing to say.

[Armstrong]

And so. So he hits me. He says, oh, yeah, yeah. I'm Jerry. Funny, you bring it up. Yeah, yeah. I'm whatever. What? Brandon. Is that what the Chinese food? What you name your son Brandon? Yes. So he goes, oh, yeah, yeah. I'm Brandon. I'm the project manager. We're doing your. The Smith's house, two doors down the roof. Just wanted to tell you about our roofing inspection plan. And you are absolutely not supposed to solicit like that in my hood, but I'm like, all right, our roof is in fine shape. Give me your card. I'll let you know if we need anything. All right, Good to meet you. Very polite of you. Happy stretching. And I was like, oh, for f sake. And so at this point, you're better than me.

[Getty]

Then I'm like, don't sell me stuff.

[Armstrong]

I'm on my driveway.

[Getty]

It's a nice day. I don't want somebody selling me stuff.

[Armstrong]

I know, I know. It's partly that. That doesn't happen in my hood. And so I thought, oh, this is like my neighbor's son, or he's the new guy in the hood or. Could be. Yeah, that's a good point, because that's the vibe. And so at this point, this guy has chewed up three and a half of my five minutes, and I am pissed off. And so do you know what an Orange Whip is? Not the cocktail popularized in. Orange Whip.

[Getty]

Orange Whip.

[Armstrong]

Three Orange Whips, exactly. That was Blues Brothers.

[Getty]

Yeah. John Candy.

[Armstrong]

It's a golf training tool. It's like a whippy thing with an orange ball at the end that you use to stretch your back and get your timing, blah, blah. It's a tool. And so I'm pissed off. So I'm like, you, I got a ton. And so I take my Orange Whip and I take like, 15 violent, fast swings. Picturing his head. Yeah, well, more or less. I wake up. Was it the next day or the day after that? I can't remember. And I can't walk. I cannot walk. Everything's in spasm. I can barely move. I'm like, crying out in pain. Wow. I gotta take muscle relaxants and painkillers.

[Getty]

But it didn't happen at the time when you were doing that?

[Armstrong]

No, I didn't feel it at the time, but I just way overstretched it and tore it, and so. Wow. I would have thought it would have hurt right then. So freaking stupid. Well, you know, adrenaline's the most incredible painkiller in the world. I've experienced that playing sports where you get done and you realize your sock and your shoe are full of blood. You're like, what the hell happened?

[Getty]

Like, when I wrecked my motorcycle, I was fine. I was halfway home in that Uber, bleeding all over this back seat, everything. All of a sudden, oh, my God, this hurts.

[Armstrong]

Right?

[Getty]

I haven't felt anything.

[Armstrong]

So anyway, yeah. And so I've been rehabbing like a mother scratcher, and I. I haven't played golf in two weeks just trying to heal this thing I've done. I've swung a few times and all, and so I've just got to see if it'll work. But my mom always said, because my sister and I were a year apart, and we'd fight sometimes. We're best friends now, thank God, but she'd always say, don't say they made you mad. That's a decision you make. You're in control of your emotions and your reactions.

[Getty]

That's a good one.

[Armstrong]

Rise above it. And he made me mad, and I'm paying the stupid tax.

[Getty]

That's a good one. That's a good one. In pain, I'm Joe Getting. That's a good one.

[Armstrong]

Yeah. How'd you hurt your leg? Well, this bearded guy was trying to sell me roof.

[Getty]

I got mad at a salesperson. Is not a good, good answ.

[Armstrong]

Never mind makes. I got pissed and forgot I'm old and was.

[Getty]

It doesn't sound good that the reason I'm hurt for weeks or months or maybe forever is because I got so

[Armstrong]

mad at a salesperson, totally lost my head and abused my own body. I punched myself in the face repeatedly to show him how mad I was.

[Getty]

Remember that?

[Armstrong]

Might as well have cheese. What a jackass. The stupid tax. There it is. Well, I guess that's it.

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