Nice Job Tying Your Shoes. You Look Like A Whore.

Summary

Armstrong & Getty On Demand: "Nice Job Tying Your Shoes. You Look Like A Whore."

February 25, 2026 | iHeartPodcasts

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty—joined by regulars and guest Katie—cover the 2026 State of the Union address delivered by Donald Trump, offering their signature blend of skeptical, irreverent commentary. They dissect notable moments, reaction from Congress, media bias, immigration, budget woes, the generational divide over public spending, and pop culture oddities like children’s makeup trends and viral songs. The tone is sharp, satirical, exasperated, and occasionally dramatic.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. State of the Union: Cynicism & Highlights

• Opening reactions [00:43 – 01:14]

  • Joe expresses disillusionment with the ritual:
    • “Every president in my lifetime has gotten up there and said the state of our nation is strong…and we move on with our lives. And I'm a pro American. I am anti State of the Union address though.” – Joe Getty [00:43]
  • Jack responds with sarcasm and critique:
    • “It will not be remembered...if there are any takeaways, it's introducing the hockey team. I wanted to show that part to my kids.” [01:05]

• Political theater and outbursts

  • They discuss the visible anger from Representatives Rashida Tlaib and Ilhan Omar, calling their reaction “unique in State of the Union history.” [01:34]
  • "Wild eyed with hate screeching at him." – Jack Armstrong [01:34]
  • “I think those two people...actually hate the country...think the world is better off without us.” – Joe Getty [01:37]

• Trump’s ‘Golden Age of America’ Rhetoric [02:35 – 03:16]

  • Jack riffs on Trump’s branding: “The Gayoa. I call it the golden age of America. Welcome to the Gayoa.”

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2. The Economy, Inflation, & Political Messaging

• Trump’s failure to ‘feel your pain’ [03:21]
  • Jack critiques Trump’s economic messaging: “He touted a lot...which is legitimate and accurate and cool. Didn’t do great at saying I feel your pain...Trump and his speechwriters just can’t do an effective, concise job of explaining why the Democrats policies caused the rampant inflation...” [03:21]
  • Joe calls out the impact of Democrat spending on inflation: “That was a good thing to point out that your giant, multi-trillion dollar bills are what caused the inflation.” [04:07]

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3. Iconic Trumpisms and the ‘Winning So Much’ Moment

• Classic Trump showmanship [04:32 – 05:45]
  • Trump’s riff on “winning so much”: “We’re winning so much that we really don’t know what to do about it...People are asking me, please, please, please, Mr. President, we’re winning too much...” – Donald Trump [04:47]
  • Behind-the-scenes: J.D. Vance and Speaker Johnson “howling with laughter.” – Joe Getty [04:41]

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4. Microphone Mishaps & Government Inefficiency

• Production critiques [05:45 – 06:20]
  • Satirizing audio failures during a major address: “On one of the biggest audio events on planet Earth, you can’t get a couple of engineers that can get a microphone and a compressor…That’s an unfortunate and powerful illustration of the government at work.” – Jack Armstrong [06:05]
  • “There are a lot of out of work radio people that could fix that problem…wouldn’t have the microphone cut out.” – Joe Getty [06:13]

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5. Immigration, Fraud, and Culture Clashes

• Allegations about Somali community in Minnesota & Squad’s Outrage [06:44 – 08:03]

  • Trump announces a “war on fraud” referencing alleged billions stolen in Minnesota.
  • Lively speculation about Ilhan Omar’s reaction: “Hey, Ilhan, where's the United States of America rank in your loyalties? About fourth place or so. That's my guess...” – Jack Armstrong [08:04]
  • The hosts intensify their criticisms of open borders, worried about importing cultures of “bribery, corruption and lawlessness.” [10:22, 11:02]

• The Trap: Prioritizing Americans over Illegals [11:32 – 14:17]

  • Trump’s “stand up if you believe...” moment becomes a focal point:
  • “The first duty of the American government is to protect American citizens, not illegal aliens. Isn’t that ashamed? You should be ashamed of yourself.” – Donald Trump [11:32]
  • “Trump put him on the train to crazy town and made him get off and waved to the citizens.” – Jack Armstrong [14:12]
  • Hosts argue this was a politically savvy move, predicting it will be used in every Republican ad. [12:44, 13:19, 14:03]

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6. Olympic Hockey Team—Patriotism or Political Pawns?

• Hockey team honored & media reactions [14:29 – 17:17]
  • Host pride in athletes’ patriotism:
    • “We love representing our country...the best country in the world.” – Hockey Player [14:29]
  • Contrast in media coverage when compared to Eileen Gu competing for China:
    • “How do you do that?...Cuddling up to Xi Jinping. Good and not political at all. No reason to bring politics into that. Accepting the congratulations of the President...Bad, according to the athletic in the New York Times.” – Jack Armstrong [16:48, 17:02]
  • Satirical escalation: “Makes you want to pound on their heads with hockey sticks.” – Jack Armstrong [17:12]

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7. Domino’s Opens for the Working Class

• Fast food rabbit trail [17:27 – 19:04]
  • Segment lampoons Domino's attempt to target lower-income customers and compares value vs. taste against Round Table and Pizza Hut.
  • Standout lines:
    • “Or at least I don't order Domino's because I'm better than you. But back when I did...” – Jack Armstrong [18:27]
    • “I'm just outrageous. Single full time dad trying to figure out how to feed my kids.” – Joe Getty [19:00]

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8. National Debt and Budget Deficit Malaise

• Dire budget news, public apathy [20:14 – 22:48]

  • Gallows humor about America’s fiscal irresponsibility:
    • “We're in a hole and we're still digging.” – Jack Armstrong [20:14]
    • “120% of your GDP...No country or entity has ever done that and survived ever in the history of the world.” – Joe Getty [21:37]
  • Predictions: Federal debt to hit $56 trillion by 2036, interest alone soon to exceed $1 trillion/year. [21:36]
  • “Imagine if your family spent significantly more than you make every year and just kept thinking, well, you know, we probably ought to do something about this. But yeah.” – Joe Getty [22:36]

• Betting on government dysfunction [22:48 – 25:14]

  • Story of Alan Cole, a tax economist who bets (and wins) on continued federal overspending, only to pay huge taxes on his winnings.

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9. Modern Trends That Make the Hosts Want to “Pluck Out Their Eyes”

• Makeup for 6-year-olds [25:31 – 28:03]
  • Hosts lampoon the craze for makeup among kindergarteners:
    • “Now we have kindergartners painting their faces like the horrors of Sodom and Gomorrah.” – Jack Armstrong [26:26]
    • “Nice job tying your shoes. You look like a whore.” – Joe Getty [27:13] (episode title)
  • Katie, the voice of reason: “How is this happening? Where are the parents and why? I have so many questions.” [26:53]
  • They debate what age makeup is appropriate, with Katie noting she was allowed only lip gloss at 13. [28:26]

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10. Quick Hits & Viral Culture

• Bill Gates’ affair confession & Epstein speculation [29:03 – 30:00]

  • Bill Gates publicly admits to affairs; hosts connect this to speculation about Jeffrey Epstein and blackmail. [29:24]

• ‘Do I Have Gay Cats?’ Viral Song [30:00 – 30:53]

  • Hosts play and deconstruct a viral novelty song, finding it “precisely dumb enough.” [30:53]

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11. Closing Stories and Meditations on Service

• Jack volunteers as an usher for Vienna Boys Choir [31:14 – 34:49]

  • Wholesome anecdote; Jack finds meaning caring for elderly audience members:
    • “There's much more joy in serving others than serving yourself. It's hard to describe why it was so much fun and just satisfying, but it was.” – Jack Armstrong [33:43]
  • Banter about trying to sneak into concerts by “ushing.”

• Jack’s Ushers of the Apocalypse [34:49 – 35:36]

  • Comedic riff: “Like to ush!”

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Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “Every president in my lifetime has gotten up there and said the state of our nation is strong...I am anti State of the Union address though.” — Joe Getty [00:43]
• “Wild eyed with hate screeching at him.” — Jack Armstrong [01:34]
• “I think those two people...actually hate the country.” — Joe Getty [01:37]
• “We’re winning so much that we really don’t know what to do about it.” — Donald Trump [04:47]
• “We have all the information and in actuality the number is much higher than that.” — Donald Trump, on alleged fraud in Minnesota [06:44]
• “The Somali pirates who ransacked Minnesota remind us that there are large parts of the world where bribery, corruption and lawlessness are the norm, not the exception.” — Donald Trump [10:22]
• “Trump put him on the train to crazy town and made him get off and waved to the citizens.” — Jack Armstrong [14:12]
• “120% of your GDP...No country or entity has ever done that and survived ever in the history of the world.” — Joe Getty [21:37]
• “Now we have kindergartners painting their faces like the horrors of Sodom and Gomorrah.” — Jack Armstrong [26:26]
• “Nice job tying your shoes. You look like a whore.” — Joe Getty [27:13]
• “There's much more joy in serving others than serving yourself.” — Jack Armstrong [33:43]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• State of the Union Reaction & Political Pageantry: 00:43 – 03:21
• Media bias, Squad Outrage, and Trump’s ‘Trap’: 06:44 – 14:17
• Olympic Hockey Team & patriotism, media contrast: 14:29 – 17:17
• US Economy & Deficit, betting on government dysfunction: 20:14 – 25:14
• Makeup for 6-Year-Olds (Episode Title): 25:31 – 28:03
• Viral Song "Do I Have Gay Cats?": 30:00 – 30:53
• Jack Ushering Vienna Boys Choir, Reflections on Service: 31:14 – 33:43

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Tone & Approach

• The discussion is breezy, irreverent, and opinionated, with humor and a deep skepticism toward political theater, media narratives, and cultural trends.
• Frequent asides, mockery, and gallows humor permeate the episode. Joe and Jack oscillate between world-weary cynicism and exuberant comic rants.

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Summary for New Listeners

If you missed the episode, you’ll discover that Armstrong & Getty are equal-opportunity cynics, taking aim at both left and right, mocking the grandstanding of political leaders, the outrage culture in Congress, media biases, and the everyday absurdities of American society circa 2026. The episode’s recurring motif is a profound discomfort with society’s refusal to acknowledge harsh truths—about fiscal responsibility, border policy, or even letting kids be kids—all wrapped in a package of quick repartee and barbed wit.

Transcript

[Jack Armstrong]

This is an iHeart podcast, guaranteed human

[Joe Getty]

broadcasting. Live from the Abraham Lincoln radio studio at the George Washington Broadcast Center, Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty.

[Jack Armstrong]

Armstrong and Getty. And now here's Armstrong and Getty.

[Donald Trump]

Members of Congress and my fellow Americans, our nation is back. Bigger, better, richer and stronger than ever before.

[Jack Armstrong]

There you go.

[Joe Getty]

Every president in my lifetime has gotten up there and said the state of our nation is strong. And everybody cheers and woohoo and we move on with our lives. And I'm a pro American. I am anti State of the Union address though.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh my God, the cynicism. Yeah, I thought it was, it was very powerful, very up with America. Yeah, very nice. And will be remembered for the ages. It will not be remembered just being

[Joe Getty]

today and tomorrow, it'll be barely be remembered tomorrow. If I, if there are any takeaways that have any lasting effect, like even for a couple of days, it's introducing the hockey team. I think people remember that. I actually wanted to show that part to my kids. I think Rashida Tlaib and Ilan Omar, their level of anger is screaming at the president. Sitting there was unique in State of the Union history.

[Jack Armstrong]

Wild eyed with hate screeching at him.

[Joe Getty]

I think those two people, at least those two people actually hate the country and think the world is better off without us. I think they actually believe that.

[Jack Armstrong]

And to. Yes. Oh yeah, 100%.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

And frankly, the dominant religions in America, they'd like to do away with those too. And of course, goes without saying the mainstream media is ignoring that. Just frothing mouthed, vitriolic screeching. Marjorie Taylor Greene says no, they didn't. And it's, you know, please on the editorial pages for a week. But anyway, that's to be expected.

[Joe Getty]

And then the biggest moment of the night that could be remembered for many, many years, and that will probably be in every single ad you see from Republicans right before the midterms is the stand. If you're prioritizing Americans over illegals, which we'll get to in a little bit. But that was, that was a good one. That one was clever.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. Oh, it was so good. Yeah, yeah. Historically good. Let's roll with 102, Michael. Let's up with the people, up with America.

[Donald Trump]

Less than five months from now, our country will celebrate an epic milestone in American history. The 250th anniversary of our glorious American independence. This July 4th, we will mark two and a half centuries of liberty and triumph, progress and freedom in the most incredible and exceptional nation ever to exist. On the face of the earth and you've seen nothing yet. We're going to do better and better and better. This is the golden age of America,

[Jack Armstrong]

The Gayoa. I call it the golden age of America. Welcome to the Gayoa.

[Joe Getty]

Another thing every president has said my entire life since I've been following these sorts of things.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. One of the dominant takes in the echo chamber and one that I found at least somewhat persuasive is that, you know, he touted a lot of the progress on the economy and the good stuff in the economy, which is legitimate and accurate and cool. Didn't do great at saying I feel your pain. And it's been a frustration for me for quite a while now that Trump and his speechwriters just can't do an effective, concise job of explaining why the Democrats policies caused the rampant inflation and that we're doing our damnedest to tamp it down now. And you can do that in like three sentences.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, I did like, like the portion of the speech where he talked about you guys in your affordability. Affordability. You caused the affordability problem.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yep.

[Joe Getty]

That was a good thing to point out that your giant, multi. Trillion dollar bills are what. What caused the inflation.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. Yeah. They are doing a better job at that. And I'm, I'm glad because I mean, that's, that's like. It's not a hammer they have, it's a nuclear bomb the Republicans have, and they just haven't wielded it very skillfully. But that's all right. Uh, let's see what else, Anything else you want to sprinkle in before we get to the, the main event?

[Joe Getty]

Do we have the winning so much?

[Jack Armstrong]

We.

[Joe Getty]

I can't. You're going to be tired of the wind, which was actually pretty funny. Classic Trump, sort of. You're going to get sick of winning. We're winning so much.

[Donald Trump]

And J.D.

[Joe Getty]

vance and Speaker Johnson were howling with laughter behind him. I thought that part was pretty good.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. Let's hear it, Michael. Yeah.

[Donald Trump]

Our country is winning again. In fact, we're winning so much that we really don't know what to do about it. People are asking me, please, please, please, Mr. President, we're winning too much. We can't take it anymore. We're not used to winning in our country until you came along with just always losing. But now we're winning too much. And I say, no, no, no, you're going to win again. You're going to win big. You're going to win bigger than ever. And to prove that point, to prove that point. Here with us tonight is a group of winners who just made the entire nation proud. The men's gold medal Olympic H hockey team. Come on in.

[Joe Getty]

That was cool.

[Donald Trump]

Wow.

[Joe Getty]

Love it. As as guys in the audio business, it's a little surprising that on one of the biggest audio events on planet Earth, you can't get a couple of engineers that can get a microphone and a compressor and all the different sort of things that could handle a variety of volumes without cutting out dudes.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's like ABC 1, 2, 3. What the hell? That's an unfortunate and powerful illustration of the government at work.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, no kidding. Yeah, there are a lot of out of work radio people that could fix that problem for you and you wouldn't have the microphone cut out.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, it'd take them 15 minutes max. Anyway, back to the the so too. So the Democrats who were in attendance were merely bored, resentful and peevish until the President got to corruption in Minnesota. And by that route, immigration. We'll start with 130, Michael.

[Donald Trump]

But when it comes to the corruption, that is plundering, really, it's plundering America. There's been no more stunning example than Minnesota, where members of the Somali community have pillaged an estimated $19 billion from the America taxpayer. We have all the information and in actuality, the number is much higher than that. And California, Massachusetts, Maine and many other states are even worse. This is the kind of corruption that shreds the fabric of a nation. And we are working on it like you wouldn't believe. So tonight, although started four months ago, I am officially announcing the war on fraud to be led by our great vice president, J.D. vance.

[Joe Getty]

So do we know she was shouting? One of them was shouting right off the bat.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, that was Ilhan Omar. Yeah, the Somali Minnesotan.

[Joe Getty]

You know something about that, Katie?

[Katie]

I don't. I don't know what she was yelling, but what I do know is that next, not Rashida Tlaib, but the blonde that was on the other side of her, reached over and put her hand on Omar's leg, like to console her during that moment.

[Joe Getty]

He's going after you now.

[Katie]

Is you're gonna be okay?

[Joe Getty]

Nary.

[Jack Armstrong]

Hey, Ilhan, where's the United States of America? Rank in your loyalties? About fourth place or so. That's my guess, if there is any.

[Joe Getty]

I was just thinking about the State of the Union address in general. So as it's been talked to death, it's in the Constitution. But originally it was just supposed to be a report to Congress from the Executive branch, since they have the census

[Jack Armstrong]

and all that sort of stuff.

[Joe Getty]

Just like, here's what we know, here are the economic numbers, here's how many people we got, here's the current blah, blah, blah.

[Jack Armstrong]

We're up to 31 states. That sort of thing.

[Joe Getty]

Exactly. And ended over the years in time has become a political speech for whoever, whichever party has power gets to use it as a big giant platform to say, look how great we're doing. Would you get killed as a president if you came out and said, hey, look, here's the deal. The state of the union is this. People don't have kids anymore. US Citizens are below replacement rate for having kids, which is a problem. We've got entitlement programs that are going broke and going to go broke faster without having more kids. And we're 30, what is it, $5 trillion in debt right now, which is completely unsustainable. That is the real state of the union. Yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

Interest payments on our debt are now more than our defense spending. So we're in serious trouble.

[Joe Getty]

Just no chance of anybody ever coming out and saying that there's no constituency for that. Isn't that crazy?

[Jack Armstrong]

Including right now. You're bringing me down. Come on. Rah, rah, yay, yay.

[Joe Getty]

Everything's great.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. It's crazy. So you and your wife, literally crazy. Yes.

[Joe Getty]

You and your wife and kids are going to, I mean, mathematically, you're going to lose your house next year unless you change your ways and all kinds of other huge problems. Your cars, like the basement is currently filling with water and getting deeper as you talk. And you just say the family has never been better than it has ever been today. And everybody cheers.

[Jack Armstrong]

This is a golden age for our family. Yes. Yes.

[Joe Getty]

On the other hand, Trump for that because no party or president is going to do that. But it's pretty silly that we don't.

[Jack Armstrong]

You are plainly blaming Trump. And while Jack wants to Trump Bash, I want to seal the borders. Michael. Clip 132 please.

[Donald Trump]

The Somali pirates who ransacked Minnesota remind us that there are large parts of the world where bribery, corruption and lawlessness are the norm, not the exception. Importing these cultures through unrestricted immigration and open borders brings those problems right here to the usa. And it is the American people who pay the price in higher medical bills, car insurance rates, rent, taxes, and perhaps most importantly, crime. We will take care of this problem. We're going to take care of this problem. We are not playing games, Delilah.

[Jack Armstrong]

The first two thirds of that, the cultural stuff especially, is 100% correct. And any honest political scientist or sociologist would tell you that that's 100% correct. But that caused the squad to just boil. That's when the eyes got wild and the spittle was flying from the mouths of Talib and Omar and others. And that's when Trump set the trap. 135.

[Donald Trump]

One of the great things about the State of the Union is how it gives Americans the chance to see clearly what their representatives really believe. So tonight, I'm inviting every legislature to join with my administration in reaffirming a fundamental principle. If you agree with this statement, then stand up and show your support. The first duty of the American government is to protect American citizens, not illegal aliens. Isn't that ashamed? You should be ashamed of yourself. Not standing up. You should be ashamed of yourself. That is why I'm also asking you to end deadly sanctuary cities that protect the criminals and enact serious penalties for public officials who block the removal of criminal aliens. In many cases, drug lords, murderers. All over our country. They're blocking the removal of these people out of our country. And you should be ashamed of yourself.

[Joe Getty]

I got to believe that segment there. 80% of America agreed with, if not 90%.

[Jack Armstrong]

And listen to the unhinged scream.

[Joe Getty]

So how interrupting do you have to be before you get the gavel? And they say, hey, you gotta shut up. This is the State of the Union address. The president speaks and you listen. That's what it is.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, that absolutely could have happened. But Trump loved it.

[Joe Getty]

He can handle it very, very well.

[Jack Armstrong]

And he. No, I think it's beyond that. I think he likes it. He likes to be seen in the face fighting those people.

[Joe Getty]

And I think that's a net positive. That, that little episode there was a. Definitely a net positive for Trump in the jump, but I would think that that was violating whatever rules they have there in the house.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, yeah, 100%. Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

[Joe Getty]

So just who's got the gavel? It's the speaker of the House. Or so somebody made the decision of, let's let them go. They're. They're hanging. Let's give them as much rope as they want. Let them.

[Jack Armstrong]

From little Anderson Cooper. Final thought, we had to edit that for length. But if you didn't see it, when he said, stand up, if you believe this, the Republicans roared and roared and clapped and clapped for a full 60 seconds as the Democrats sat there glowering. Oh, it was such good political.

[Joe Getty]

Willing to say they prioritize American citizens over illegals. That's crazy. That is crazy Town. That is so nuts.

[Jack Armstrong]

And Trump put him on the train to crazy town and made him get off and waved to the citizens.

[Joe Getty]

It was brilliant. They bought a first class ticket with a smile on their face. Okay, what did you think of that text line 415295 KFTC Armstrong and Getty.

[Hockey Player]

We love representing our country. We love wearing those colors. Like Dylan said, we, we learn about it from a young age. You know, we're allowed to live out our dream because of the military, the people that serve the first responders and you know, it's just an incredible country. You know, it's, it's the best country in the world.

[Joe Getty]

That's one of your gold medal winning hockey players. Effusive about loving this country, which bothers some people, which makes you a weirdo. And that moment of bringing the hockey players out last night, everybody cheering was great. My assumption is I don't know these guys, but I assume that if Barack Obama had called into the locker room or Joe Biden, they would have been just as excited that the President called them and they would also said yes and come and visited the State of the Union address having been invited. Sure, it didn't have anything to do with the politics, but a lot of attention is being pointed at the New York Times and other publications, the way they're handling this whole thing. Here's the senior writer for the athletic, and that is the New York Times sports, their own sports thing. So it's a big deal. New York Times athletic Jerry Brewer wrote the US Men's hockey team won gold and then lost the room. A column on fragile fleeting unity and an historic team that let its moment drift into political manipulation. All right, that's the way you see it. Also being pointed out by Rich Lowry of the National Review how they handled the hockey team versus the way they handled Eileen Goo who freaking competed for our main enemy on earth, the Chinese

[Jack Armstrong]

and one of the most evil repressive regimes on earth.

[Joe Getty]

So their story about her was Eileen Gu was the highest earner at the 2026 Winter Olympics. The scientist, politician, skier, model and student is like a magician. The audience dazzled by her mastery but somewhat irked about how she does it. Our columnist writes then their story about the hockey team. U.S. men's hockey stars Jack and Quinn Hughes responded to what Jack called the backlash the team has faced surrounding their post Olympic call with president and his comments about the US Women's team. So they turned that into a political story. The United States winning the gold medal in hockey the woman competing for the Chinese is just her scientist, politician, skier, model, and student. Dazzling Americans. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Jack Armstrong]

Right.

[Joe Getty]

How do you do that?

[Jack Armstrong]

So cuddling up to Xi Jinping.

[Joe Getty]

Good and not political at all. No reason to bring politics into that.

[Jack Armstrong]

Accepting the congratulations of the President of the United States. Bad, according to the athletic in the New York Times.

[Joe Getty]

And clearly politics need to be injected into that story, right?

[Jack Armstrong]

Exactly. Okay, we know who you are.

[Joe Getty]

How frustrating is that?

[Jack Armstrong]

Makes you want to pound on their

[Joe Getty]

heads with hockey sticks.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, if I have one handy, yes.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, we got more on the way. If you miss a segment, get the podcast. Armstrong and Getty on demand.

Armstrong and Gettysburg.

[Guest]

The CEO of Domino's said in a new interview that the pizza chain is looking to double its market share in part by targeting lower income customers. Oh, you mean hoping rich people order Domino's? Hasn't worked. What's the matter? They can't read the pizza tracker through their monocle?

[Jack Armstrong]

He's not wrong.

[Joe Getty]

Domino's. Where does it rank in terms of your chain? Cheap pizzas, Katie. Oh, you look like you have an opinion.

[Katie]

I'm a huge fan of Domino's.

[Joe Getty]

You like Domino's? I haven't had Domino's in a very long time. I might try that next pizza.

[Jack Armstrong]

Have they had a noticeable improvement in quality in recent years or. Or what? Yeah, I would say always been reasonably consistent.

[Katie]

I would. I would say it's gotten better and they started offering like, my favorite's the Pan pizza.

[Joe Getty]

You prefer them to Round Table or the Hut?

[Katie]

For the price, I prefer them to Roundtable. Yes.

[Jack Armstrong]

Hugely different price point than Round Table.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, yeah. Okay. I didn't.

[Jack Armstrong]

Or at least I don't order Domino's because I'm better than you. But back when I did. I know that was.

[Joe Getty]

I don't know, I thought they were equivalent. They're not.

[Katie]

No. Roundtable's more expensive.

[Joe Getty]

Okay, well, I'll put my pinky out when I talk about Round Table.

[Katie]

Yes.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Joe Getty]

It's.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's. It might be twice as much.

[Joe Getty]

How cheap is Domino's? Like real cheap. Yeah, I got two teenagers to feed. Okay, we're going. That's what we're doing tonight, I guarantee you.

[Katie]

And they got the coops. So many coupons.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, normally we make people buy advertising. What is happening here? Did the two of you get together and sell out to Domino's?

[Joe Getty]

I'm just outrageous. Single full time dad trying to figure out how to feed my kids.

[Jack Armstrong]

That's all I am. Outrageous. Oh, speaking of which just very briefly off the air, we were talking about that obnoxious editorial in the Athletic the New York Times about how the a hockey team had dropped the ball. Which is a sucky sports metaphor too. Stupid. But how, you know, by cozying up to Trump they'd ruin the unity of the country above. It was just gratuitous. It was one sided, unfair, ridiculous.

[Joe Getty]

Probably had a welcome home with its audience though. I'm guessing a lot of New York Times readers felt that way. I liked watching the hockey team win, but it got completely ruined that they didn't immediately when Donald Trump called into the locker room say, yeah, what about the people you murdered in Minnesota? And hung up on him.

[Jack Armstrong]

Right.

[Joe Getty]

Like that's what was supposed to happen.

[Jack Armstrong]

Right, Exactly.

[Joe Getty]

I've had some refreshing experience recently of talking to quite a few people who don't follow politics at all and they have no idea that any of this stuff is going on.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

And so that it wouldn't even cross their minds that if the hockey team wins the gold medal that there's anything wrong with talk. The President calling and talking to him wouldn't even think about it.

[Jack Armstrong]

Of course not, because there's not. Anyway, here's something nobody wants. A great piece by Bill Galston about America's large and deepening budget deficit. We're in a hole and we're still digging.

[Joe Getty]

I don't want to hear bad news. Fingers in my ears.

[Jack Armstrong]

La la la la la la. Here are a couple of exhibits to break through the La La La's of America. The administration asked for a 54% cut in appropriations for the EPA. It got 4%. It asked for a 41% reduction for the Centers for Disease Control Prevention got 1%. Yeah. Asked for a 28% cut from health and Human Services and got almost nothing. And he writes, there's no reason to believe next year's proposed cuts will fare any better. We need another half trillion dollars for defense. But they won't cut anything. And then I will leave it alone. I promise. The CBO issued its budget projections for the next decade. Federal deficit. Nobody cares about that. The federal debt, which stands more than $30 trillion, will soar to $56 trillion by what year? 2036. It will go from 100% of our GDP to 120%. And this year, this year interest payments on the federal debt will be more than $1 trillion, which is larger than the defense budget. That's just the interest, friends.

[Joe Getty]

And that 120% of your GDP number stuff. No country or entity has ever done that and survived ever in the history of the world.

[Jack Armstrong]

Our government is turning the greatest economic country in the world into France, partly because they're responding to what voters ask. What was that? Is all I will say.

[Joe Getty]

Well, I got one more question. What are they predicting for the yearly deficits? Because I'm amazed how we've just accepted these Trillion a year is perfectly okay.

[Jack Armstrong]

$1.9 trillion for this year. That's virtually $2 trillion, almost $2 trillion

[Joe Getty]

overspent for the year.

[Jack Armstrong]

It will rise to 3.1 trillion per year in overspending by 2036. And that's the assumption is if the trends continue. But as the previous part of the article pointed out, no matter how hard you try, one branch or the other says no, the trends will continue.

[Joe Getty]

Imagine if you used a family, spent significantly more than you make every year and just kept thinking, well, you know, we probably ought to do something about this. But yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yep. So moving along because it's depressing and makes everybody angry. This is a funny story, but at the end, Jack, there's a twist. So here's this 37 year old tax economist. Alan Cole is his name. He puts all of his life savings into one of those prediction markets. In this case it was. What the heck's the name of this market? It's got a funny name. I'll hit on it in a second. You'll hear. But anyway, he came across a bet that Elon Musk and Doge would fail to cut the federal budget. There were actually a handful of bets that were all kind of similar, but the main one was that in all four quarters of 2025, the Federal Government would spend more than it spent the previous year and that Doge would essentially fail completely. Kalshi is the website. Kalshi Prediction Market. And he won.

[Joe Getty]

And you can actually bet on these things and they actually pay off.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, because you're betting against other people and you're not betting against the house in these prediction markets.

[Joe Getty]

I feel like I would have been in agreement with this guy. Yeah, I would expect that we're going to spend more all four quarters.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. But this guy who's like a hardcore tax geek, he put his life savings into this. He risked 342 grand. He made $128,000 of profit by winning this bet. All right, you ready? You ready for the twist? Mr. Cole will incur capital gains taxes on the money he removed from the investments to make the wager. And he missed some stock market gains. He'll also pay Top rate on the taxes, on the winnings. Oh, high rate on the taxes. So a lot of it's going back to the government. Oh, golly.

[Joe Getty]

So he took money early out of his investments or took money out of his investments to do the bet. Okay. He's a tax guy. He should have known that was.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, he still ended up profit.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

One could argue that the risk to gain was a little out of whack, but he won't. So what the heck? He knew what he was doing. He was one. Anyone? A couple of trends, allegedly, that make me want to either pluck my eyes out or, or burn the world down or. I don't know how.

[Joe Getty]

Would plucking your eyes out help the situation?

[Jack Armstrong]

I just, just as a show of my frustration, Katie, this one kind of goes out to you. I've got another one coming up that really makes me want to commit mass murder. But I'm not a man of violence, so I'm not going to. I never would.

[Joe Getty]

Make sure. Commit mass murder.

[Jack Armstrong]

All right, we're going to start with this one, though. Here's your headline. Makeup. Like Makeup for gals faces. Right.

[Joe Getty]

Rouge, lipstick, etc.

[Jack Armstrong]

Nobody says rouge, Jack. Not since like 1960s.

[Katie]

Yeah, that's true.

[Joe Getty]

Okay.

[Jack Armstrong]

Eyeliner, makeup, blush. I think we call it these.

[Joe Getty]

Okay. Do we? I don't know.

[Jack Armstrong]

I, I, I, I do drag shows on the weekends. So I'm. Makeup has a trendy new customer with money to spend. 6 year olds.

[Katie]

All right, now I'm gonna pluck my eyes out. Don't know what it would do, but I don't.

[Jack Armstrong]

Six year old.

[Joe Getty]

Six year old little girls.

[Jack Armstrong]

That's right. Yes. Now we have kindergartners painting their faces like the horrors of Sodom and Gomorrah.

[Joe Getty]

Wow.

[Katie]

For what reason?

[Jack Armstrong]

I'll dial that one back next time we talk about it.

[Joe Getty]

Well, that was kindergarten. And why you dressed like a whore.

[Jack Armstrong]

My God of Gamora. What? Katie, I think we interrupted you. Say something reasonable.

[Katie]

Yeah, but I.

[Joe Getty]

What?

[Katie]

How is this happening? Where. Where are the parents and why? I don't. I have so many questions.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, and, and one of my favorite aspects of the headline is makeup has a trendy new customer with money to spend. Six year olds. No, they effing don't have money to spend. What do you mean?

[Katie]

Whole thing is stupid.

[Joe Getty]

Nice job tying your shoes. You look like a whore. Again.

[Jack Armstrong]

I might soften that when addressing an actual child. Courtney Bowers always knew that one day her daughters would ask to wear makeup. She didn't expect it would happen at six years old. Initially, she balked. I don't want my daughter to think that makeup or anything else is what makes you beautiful, said the mother of four who lives outside of Pittsburgh. After serious consideration and discussions about character, kindness and that all that matters is that we're loved by God, she acquiesced and brought bought makeup for her little children. Her daughter Emmy now wears it blush an eye shadow to church, your birthday parties and school events. It's for her to feel fancy, not to feel beautiful, she said.

[Joe Getty]

Now what? What age is okay for girls to start wearing makeup? I don't have daughters so I don't

[Jack Armstrong]

know this, says Priscilla Chung, the founder of Klee Naturals, which is a big brand among way pre pubescent makeup consumers who have money to spend. Girls see their sisters, moms and aunts putting on makeup and want to mimic. It's fun, it's harmless, it's a bonding experience.

[Katie]

I believe I was allowed lip gloss and mascara at 13. I think was because all of my friends were wearing it. But I wasn't allowed any of like the heavy makeup until I was I think a senior in high school.

[Jack Armstrong]

Priscilla Chung, founder of Clean Naturals, who has a giant mansion in Sodom and GoMorrah. It's like Minneapolis St. Paul's kind of twin Cities thing. All right, that's sad. Should I get to the one that made me want to commit mass murder? We don't really have time for this.

[Joe Getty]

Okay. I do want to get to Bill Gates confession to his foundation. I guess he felt like he needed to do for some reason admitting to a couple of affairs while he was married to a crowd yesterday. Interesting move. Wonder why he felt like he had to do that. Anyway, it.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, go ahead.

[Joe Getty]

What he said is pretty interesting. We got that and other stuff on the way. Stay tuned. Armstrong and Getty so Microsoft founder and super rich guy Bill Gates admitted to his foundation yesterday that he had a couple of affairs while he was married. A couple of Russian chicks. We can get into the details in hour three, but to me it really shows what the whole Epstein thing was with the blackmailing and the power over some of the most powerful people on earth. And we'll get into that now.

[Jack Armstrong]

Or three actual blackmailing. Interesting.

[Joe Getty]

Threats of blackmailing. Yes. Which is the same as blackmailing if you get into my.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, sure, yeah, exactly. But first we give you the viral sensation the song Do I have Gay Cats?

[Viral Song Singer]

I wanna know if my cats are gay or if they are brothers. I wanna know if they love each other. If they are lovers. Do I have gay cats? I want to know if my cats are gay. Do I have gay cats? If they aren't gay, then that's okay. Do I have gay cats? Gay cats. Gay cats.

[Joe Getty]

Yes. You made the point.

[Jack Armstrong]

That was better than I imagined it would be.

[Joe Getty]

Pretty good.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. I hadn't heard it. That's great. I hate to analyze humor because, you know, it kills the humor. That was precisely dumb enough.

[Joe Getty]

That's why it's so funny.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, that's great. Oh, speaking of music, I had a lovely experience. I'd forgotten it was the State of the Union last night. Not that it matters. They record them these days. And Judy and I had waited too long to buy tickets to see the Vienna Boys Choir, which is in my part of the world right now. Vienna Boys Choir.

[Joe Getty]

I've heard of it. I don't actually know what it is.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, yeah, It's. It's. Musically, it's amazing. It's these little fellows who are ages, I don't know, 13 eunuchs these days. No, we don't do that anymore. But they. They have these amazing voices, and they sing just wonderful music from, like, Austrian folk songs to classical pieces to their. Their encore song was hilarious. It was. I. Spoiler alert.

[Joe Getty]

Was it do we have Gay Cats Song? They sang that.

[Jack Armstrong]

It was. And everybody must have got. No, it was the song I Want to Be like youe from the Jungle Book movie, the original Disney movie, which they accompanied themselves with kazoos and reminding you that they're little kids. And it was fantastic.

[Joe Getty]

How many people is it in the Vienna Boys Choir? Is it like.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, my gosh, they actually have four performing groups of. Couple of dozen.

[Joe Getty]

Okay.

[Jack Armstrong]

But anyway, the really interesting part of it was we'd waited too long to buy tickets. And so a friend of ours who's a member of the organization that sponsored it said, hey, we need ushers. Why don't you volunteer to be an usher? And then you can watch the show from, like, the back row, which is fine. It's in a big church. Not like a mega church, but a big church. And so Judy and I, we went to a meeting. Then we showed up an hour and a quarter early and got our marching orders in our sections and blah, blah, blah. And we were ushers for the whole night before and after. And it ended up being great. Helping people to their seats, helping lots of old folks to their seats, folks who had walkers. And I would help them to their seats. And my mom had Parkinson's for years and helping her up and down and in and out and that sort of thing I got pretty good at. And it reminded me very much of caring for my mom, helping some of these old gals, especially to their seats. And then I would put a quick write out a tag on the walker, and the walkers couldn't stay in the auditorium for fire safety reasons, blah, blah. So I'd run them out to the lobby and put them in a special storage area.

[Joe Getty]

You were a conscientious usher then I

[Jack Armstrong]

would have to run back after and get it for him and stuff like that. And they seemed touched, which is nice. But Judy loved it too. And it reminded us this is not original wisdom by any means. There's much more joy in serving others than serving yourself. It's hard to describe why it was so much fun and just satisfying, but it was. It was lovely.

[Joe Getty]

So are you going to continue this whole usher career, you think now that you've kind of taken a liking to it?

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, I'm just going to turn up places because we got a badge that said usher. I sent it out to the crew. I'll tweet it in my black pants and my white shirt. I'm just going to start showing up at places.

[Joe Getty]

Well, just general, if you don't have tickets, movie theaters, what other menial labor would you be willing to do if something is sold out? Would you clean ashtrays or take the trash. Trash out afterwards or.

[Jack Armstrong]

I'd rather not clean the toilets just because, you know, getting up and down from my knees is kind of tough at this point in my life.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, really? That concert sold out. I'll clean the toilets for you.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, right after. What do you mean, sell popcorn as long as I can go and watch it. But I'm gonna go to movie theaters and just in my. My black and white outfit, my usher pin and say, folks, where's your. What section are you in? They're like, it's a movie theater, sir.

[Joe Getty]

What are you doing here? I have experience. I'm.

[Jack Armstrong]

Excuse me, I'm gonna need you to pipe down.

[Joe Getty]

I have a. I have ushed before, so I know what I'm doing.

[Jack Armstrong]

Joe Getty, volunteer usher show up at church services. Right this way, folks. They're like, what is happening? Like, I like to ush.

[Joe Getty]

Yes.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, it was nice, though. And the music was exquisite. It was lovely evening. Then I came home and watched the state of the union address. 2 hours long part of it and had my mood crushed.

[Joe Getty]

How old are the boys in the boys choir? They're all under adults, like I said.

[Jack Armstrong]

Like 8 to 13 ish.

[Joe Getty]

Okay.

[Jack Armstrong]

Because the minute your voice starts to change, Gonzo, that's why. Are a good idea. I know, I know. Because once you get them trained up, they can stay in the choir.

[Joe Getty]

It's the advantage of eunuchs. I'm 44 years old and I'm still an alto.

[Jack Armstrong]

Right. Like Michael Jackson. Well, you know, I'll write him a letter and suggest that.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, Bill Gates apology and other things. Coming up in hour three. If you don't get to get the podcast Armstrong and Getty on Demand.

Armstrong and Gettys.

[Jack Armstrong]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.