Armstrong & Getty On Demand: "Nice Job Tying Your Shoes. You Look Like A Whore."

February 25, 2026 | iHeartPodcasts

Episode Overview

In this episode, Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty—joined by regulars and guest Katie—cover the 2026 State of the Union address delivered by Donald Trump, offering their signature blend of skeptical, irreverent commentary. They dissect notable moments, reaction from Congress, media bias, immigration, budget woes, the generational divide over public spending, and pop culture oddities like children’s makeup trends and viral songs. The tone is sharp, satirical, exasperated, and occasionally dramatic.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. State of the Union: Cynicism & Highlights

• Opening reactions [00:43 – 01:14]

  • Joe expresses disillusionment with the ritual:
    • “Every president in my lifetime has gotten up there and said the state of our nation is strong…and we move on with our lives. And I'm a pro American. I am anti State of the Union address though.” – Joe Getty [00:43]
  • Jack responds with sarcasm and critique:
    • “It will not be remembered...if there are any takeaways, it's introducing the hockey team. I wanted to show that part to my kids.” [01:05]

• Political theater and outbursts

  • They discuss the visible anger from Representatives Rashida Tlaib and Ilhan Omar, calling their reaction “unique in State of the Union history.” [01:34]
  • "Wild eyed with hate screeching at him." – Jack Armstrong [01:34]
  • “I think those two people...actually hate the country...think the world is better off without us.” – Joe Getty [01:37]

• Trump’s ‘Golden Age of America’ Rhetoric [02:35 – 03:16]

  • Jack riffs on Trump’s branding: “The Gayoa. I call it the golden age of America. Welcome to the Gayoa.”

2. The Economy, Inflation, & Political Messaging

• Trump’s failure to ‘feel your pain’ [03:21]
  • Jack critiques Trump’s economic messaging: “He touted a lot...which is legitimate and accurate and cool. Didn’t do great at saying I feel your pain...Trump and his speechwriters just can’t do an effective, concise job of explaining why the Democrats policies caused the rampant inflation...” [03:21]
  • Joe calls out the impact of Democrat spending on inflation: “That was a good thing to point out that your giant, multi-trillion dollar bills are what caused the inflation.” [04:07]

3. Iconic Trumpisms and the ‘Winning So Much’ Moment

• Classic Trump showmanship [04:32 – 05:45]
  • Trump’s riff on “winning so much”: “We’re winning so much that we really don’t know what to do about it...People are asking me, please, please, please, Mr. President, we’re winning too much...” – Donald Trump [04:47]
  • Behind-the-scenes: J.D. Vance and Speaker Johnson “howling with laughter.” – Joe Getty [04:41]

4. Microphone Mishaps & Government Inefficiency

• Production critiques [05:45 – 06:20]
  • Satirizing audio failures during a major address: “On one of the biggest audio events on planet Earth, you can’t get a couple of engineers that can get a microphone and a compressor…That’s an unfortunate and powerful illustration of the government at work.” – Jack Armstrong [06:05]
  • “There are a lot of out of work radio people that could fix that problem…wouldn’t have the microphone cut out.” – Joe Getty [06:13]

5. Immigration, Fraud, and Culture Clashes

• Allegations about Somali community in Minnesota & Squad’s Outrage [06:44 – 08:03]

  • Trump announces a “war on fraud” referencing alleged billions stolen in Minnesota.
  • Lively speculation about Ilhan Omar’s reaction: “Hey, Ilhan, where's the United States of America rank in your loyalties? About fourth place or so. That's my guess...” – Jack Armstrong [08:04]
  • The hosts intensify their criticisms of open borders, worried about importing cultures of “bribery, corruption and lawlessness.” [10:22, 11:02]

• The Trap: Prioritizing Americans over Illegals [11:32 – 14:17]

  • Trump’s “stand up if you believe...” moment becomes a focal point:
  • “The first duty of the American government is to protect American citizens, not illegal aliens. Isn’t that ashamed? You should be ashamed of yourself.” – Donald Trump [11:32]
  • “Trump put him on the train to crazy town and made him get off and waved to the citizens.” – Jack Armstrong [14:12]
  • Hosts argue this was a politically savvy move, predicting it will be used in every Republican ad. [12:44, 13:19, 14:03]

6. Olympic Hockey Team—Patriotism or Political Pawns?

• Hockey team honored & media reactions [14:29 – 17:17]
  • Host pride in athletes’ patriotism:
    • “We love representing our country...the best country in the world.” – Hockey Player [14:29]
  • Contrast in media coverage when compared to Eileen Gu competing for China:
    • “How do you do that?...Cuddling up to Xi Jinping. Good and not political at all. No reason to bring politics into that. Accepting the congratulations of the President...Bad, according to the athletic in the New York Times.” – Jack Armstrong [16:48, 17:02]
  • Satirical escalation: “Makes you want to pound on their heads with hockey sticks.” – Jack Armstrong [17:12]

7. Domino’s Opens for the Working Class

• Fast food rabbit trail [17:27 – 19:04]
  • Segment lampoons Domino's attempt to target lower-income customers and compares value vs. taste against Round Table and Pizza Hut.
  • Standout lines:
    • “Or at least I don't order Domino's because I'm better than you. But back when I did...” – Jack Armstrong [18:27]
    • “I'm just outrageous. Single full time dad trying to figure out how to feed my kids.” – Joe Getty [19:00]

8. National Debt and Budget Deficit Malaise

• Dire budget news, public apathy [20:14 – 22:48]

  • Gallows humor about America’s fiscal irresponsibility:
    • “We're in a hole and we're still digging.” – Jack Armstrong [20:14]
    • “120% of your GDP...No country or entity has ever done that and survived ever in the history of the world.” – Joe Getty [21:37]
  • Predictions: Federal debt to hit $56 trillion by 2036, interest alone soon to exceed $1 trillion/year. [21:36]
  • “Imagine if your family spent significantly more than you make every year and just kept thinking, well, you know, we probably ought to do something about this. But yeah.” – Joe Getty [22:36]

• Betting on government dysfunction [22:48 – 25:14]

  • Story of Alan Cole, a tax economist who bets (and wins) on continued federal overspending, only to pay huge taxes on his winnings.

9. Modern Trends That Make the Hosts Want to “Pluck Out Their Eyes”

• Makeup for 6-year-olds [25:31 – 28:03]
  • Hosts lampoon the craze for makeup among kindergarteners:
    • “Now we have kindergartners painting their faces like the horrors of Sodom and Gomorrah.” – Jack Armstrong [26:26]
    • “Nice job tying your shoes. You look like a whore.” – Joe Getty [27:13] (episode title)
  • Katie, the voice of reason: “How is this happening? Where are the parents and why? I have so many questions.” [26:53]
  • They debate what age makeup is appropriate, with Katie noting she was allowed only lip gloss at 13. [28:26]

10. Quick Hits & Viral Culture

• Bill Gates’ affair confession & Epstein speculation [29:03 – 30:00]

  • Bill Gates publicly admits to affairs; hosts connect this to speculation about Jeffrey Epstein and blackmail. [29:24]

• ‘Do I Have Gay Cats?’ Viral Song [30:00 – 30:53]

  • Hosts play and deconstruct a viral novelty song, finding it “precisely dumb enough.” [30:53]

11. Closing Stories and Meditations on Service

• Jack volunteers as an usher for Vienna Boys Choir [31:14 – 34:49]

  • Wholesome anecdote; Jack finds meaning caring for elderly audience members:
    • “There's much more joy in serving others than serving yourself. It's hard to describe why it was so much fun and just satisfying, but it was.” – Jack Armstrong [33:43]
  • Banter about trying to sneak into concerts by “ushing.”

• Jack’s Ushers of the Apocalypse [34:49 – 35:36]

  • Comedic riff: “Like to ush!”

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “Every president in my lifetime has gotten up there and said the state of our nation is strong...I am anti State of the Union address though.” — Joe Getty [00:43]
• “Wild eyed with hate screeching at him.” — Jack Armstrong [01:34]
• “I think those two people...actually hate the country.” — Joe Getty [01:37]
• “We’re winning so much that we really don’t know what to do about it.” — Donald Trump [04:47]
• “We have all the information and in actuality the number is much higher than that.” — Donald Trump, on alleged fraud in Minnesota [06:44]
• “The Somali pirates who ransacked Minnesota remind us that there are large parts of the world where bribery, corruption and lawlessness are the norm, not the exception.” — Donald Trump [10:22]
• “Trump put him on the train to crazy town and made him get off and waved to the citizens.” — Jack Armstrong [14:12]
• “120% of your GDP...No country or entity has ever done that and survived ever in the history of the world.” — Joe Getty [21:37]
• “Now we have kindergartners painting their faces like the horrors of Sodom and Gomorrah.” — Jack Armstrong [26:26]
• “Nice job tying your shoes. You look like a whore.” — Joe Getty [27:13]
• “There's much more joy in serving others than serving yourself.” — Jack Armstrong [33:43]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• State of the Union Reaction & Political Pageantry: 00:43 – 03:21
• Media bias, Squad Outrage, and Trump’s ‘Trap’: 06:44 – 14:17
• Olympic Hockey Team & patriotism, media contrast: 14:29 – 17:17
• US Economy & Deficit, betting on government dysfunction: 20:14 – 25:14
• Makeup for 6-Year-Olds (Episode Title): 25:31 – 28:03
• Viral Song "Do I Have Gay Cats?": 30:00 – 30:53
• Jack Ushering Vienna Boys Choir, Reflections on Service: 31:14 – 33:43

Tone & Approach

• The discussion is breezy, irreverent, and opinionated, with humor and a deep skepticism toward political theater, media narratives, and cultural trends.
• Frequent asides, mockery, and gallows humor permeate the episode. Joe and Jack oscillate between world-weary cynicism and exuberant comic rants.

Summary for New Listeners

If you missed the episode, you’ll discover that Armstrong & Getty are equal-opportunity cynics, taking aim at both left and right, mocking the grandstanding of political leaders, the outrage culture in Congress, media biases, and the everyday absurdities of American society circa 2026. The episode’s recurring motif is a profound discomfort with society’s refusal to acknowledge harsh truths—about fiscal responsibility, border policy, or even letting kids be kids—all wrapped in a package of quick repartee and barbed wit.