C (2:08)

Sure.

B (2:08)

Yeah.

A (2:09)

Claim it was. Yeah, we forgot to pack the Diet Coke and the President, he was pissed, so we went back. They forgot the McDonald's. Right? Exactly. Yeah. Anyway, Josh Rogan, who we've chatted with more than once on the Armstrong and Getty show, know something about the Air force 1 fleet 15.

C (2:29)

This happens all the time. You know, it's a really old fleet and there's a constant state of disrepair. It's much more rare for Air Force One than it is for like the planes that the Vice President or the Secretary of Defense, the Secretary of State might fly on. And so I think the fact that they caught it early and they turned back, it shouldn't really be a big problem. But it is kind of shocking to people who don't know, but it's kind of an open secret amongst the reporters who travel with senior officials that the US fleet is very old and the planes are not in good condition.

B (2:59)

35 year old plane. So why in the world, with the amount of money we spend on everything in this country would the President be flying around in a 35 year old plane?

A (3:09)

Well, let's hearken back to was it last year or the year before where the cutteries were Giving the President 747? That's right. And Trump was making a big deal out of how behind schedule Boeing was that they were supposed to have built a new set of Air Force Ones or whatever it is. Yeah, I don't know. That's. It's not all of. It's not a great look for American industry. Anyway, I've never been on the current Air Force One. I have a friend who has who says it's pretty amazing. I've been on old ones, a couple of old ones.

B (3:48)

I can't believe I've never been to the Reagan National Library and because they got his plane there so you can see what an Air Force One looks like in the Presidential suite and all that sort of stuff. I've never done that. Why have I done that? I could do that with my kids. I'm gonna do that in the next couple of weekends. I'm vowing right now.

A (4:03)

There is a wonderful airplane museum in the Seattle Tacoma area. I can't remember the name of it. I've been to that one. They have. I think it's Nixon's Air Force One there, which is super fun. It's you know, obviously a little more old timey, not quite as amazing as the new ones. But I've been reading about Air Force One. It's packed with secret tech functioning as a flying command center with and this. The lists here include, as I'm sure you'll notice, some wow stuff and also some, are you kidding me Stuff. I'm not sure how up to date this list is. But anyway, flying command center with military grade secure communications EMP hardened electronics and advanced missile defense like laser jamming and flares. Plus in flight fueling for unlimited range. It could fly forever.

B (4:52)

Does it have like elastic stretchy thing in the seat in front of you so you like put your cup in there or something?

A (4:59)

I'll bet it does. I'll bet it does. Yeah. Or even cup holders at least. Listen to this list. Key features include secure encrypted lines, WI fi. Oh, wait a minute.

B (5:13)

You don't want have WI fi. You just gotta let China take over. I mean, come on.

A (5:16)

Oh man, when I get on a flight that doesn't have the WI fi.

B (5:19)

I'm like, I know.

A (5:20)

What, what am I at Kitty Hawk with the Wright brothers?

B (5:23)

I know I like going on here. And they'll make the announcement. Sorry, we're not gonna have WI FI on this flight. Sorry for the in beans.

A (5:30)

Sorry for the inconvenience.

B (5:32)

You just ruined my life.

A (5:34)

Right, right. I can't believe you. Let's see, Countermeasures against that.

B (5:40)

We're down a wing and we're going to do our best. Then we got no white wife.

A (5:43)

Oh, geez. Let's see. They have countermeasures against attacks like DIRCM lasers, whatever those are. Chaff and flares and a hardened system to survive a nuclear blast. Wow. Wow. The current Air force one features 85 plus telephones, fax machines. 85 telephones.

B (6:05)

Seems like a lot.

A (6:06)

Wait a minute, wait a minute. A fax machine? What am I doing? Am I in touch with like the old timey pharmacy in my town or something? Wow. With floppy disks. Yeah.

B (6:21)

You've got a blockbuster for some reason, right?

A (6:25)

Internet for secure encrypted calls. Top secret to non secure video conferencing. See, the president can broadcast speeches live from midair. Satellite link down to, you know, the ground. It's kind of obvious when you think about it, but yeah, he could do a complete, you know, national address. My fellow Americans, we are at war with Greenland from the air, which is kind of cool. Defense and security. EMP hardening electronics and wiring are shielded to withstand electromagnetic pulses from nuclear blasts. It's a good thing too, because I've read articles about that. How EMP weapons are going to be the holy f weapons of warfare when it breaks out that all of a sudden everything that's powered by electricity will not work.

B (7:16)

Might be what we used in Venezuela.

A (7:18)

It could be something like that. Yeah. I wonder. Let's see. Missile defense equipped with. Oh, there it is. Directional infrared countermeasures. That's DIRCM lasers to blind heat seeking missile and chaff and flare Dispensers to decoy them. Radar jamming. It's armored the airframe and windows are armored to resist attacks. Can do in flight. Refueling. Self sufficiency. Has a self contained baggage loader and large galleys to serve meals for up to 100 people. With thousands of meals in storage.

B (7:54)

Thousands of meals in case they have to like they thought they might have to with W. After 9 11. Just keep flying around for a really long time.

A (8:04)

Right, right. A self contained baggage loader.

B (8:09)

Oh, it's just a little guy in.

C (8:12)

A cage they keep under the plane.

A (8:15)

I figured it was a bag bot, but no, it's actually a. Wow. That's.

B (8:18)

Suppose you suppose Trump's got a full size bathroom. He's not squeezing into that little bathroom air.

A (8:25)

Oh yeah, yeah.

B (8:26)

Sit on that seat.

A (8:28)

Oh, he's got a gold toilet seat in there, guaranteed. Yeah, yeah. I mean if you look at the Oval Office, which you've described as looking like a Chinese restaurant, to me it looks like the throne room and you know, Brunei or something like that. Yeah.

B (8:42)

Southwest flight recently, there was a big old boy headed to the bathroom and I thought, I don't want to see him go to the bathroom. But I would like to know the mechanics of how this is going to work. I just.

A (8:51)

Right. Much as I'd like to mock you for that, that, that vision, but no, I, I've, I've thought the same thing.

B (8:57)

There's no way.

A (8:58)

Excuse me, Excuse me, flight attendant, can you explain to me how that is going to work? Oh, and, and, or super tall. Guys. Ladies, you, you might not know this, but you. If you're standing to relieve yourself, if you're over like five, six, you gotta like frame your. Jesus. Wow. You gotta, you gotta crane your neck or hunch or whatever. It's terrible.

C (9:24)

Oh, you poor things.

A (9:28)

Childbirth. Wow. The trump card. Let's see. The creature comforts include private quarters, conference rooms, office space and a medical facility. Does not mention the size of the turlet facilities. Connectivity, blah, blah, blah. Air Force One isn't just a plane. It's a secure flying fortress and command center built to keep the President in command during any crisis.

B (9:53)

So you think it. When a really, really big old boy is going down the aisle, you could say to the air waitress, yeah, there's going to need to be somebody to mop with in there in about five minutes because there's no possible way that guy can do what he needs to do.

A (10:09)

It's a got to be a miserable experience.

B (10:11)

Oh, it would have to be.

C (10:14)

First raise your hand and make sure you go, excuse me, air waitress.

A (10:18)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

B (10:19)

And enjoy the hawker in your coffee.

A (10:23)

Hey sweetheart, Sweetheart, you legs. Hey, I got a question. Just like that?

C (10:30)

Yeah.

A (10:34)

Wow. What would, you know, what would it cost to. I'm thinking like toilet, first class. Maybe you got the same size seats as coach or whatever. Maybe the same experience. But like you have a reserved really nice bathroom. What would that cost?

B (10:57)

That's an interesting idea.

C (11:01)

So you're in coach, but you get.

B (11:02)

The first class bathroom kind of a thing.

A (11:04)

Well, yeah, I mean, because first class bathrooms are just bathrooms, right?

B (11:07)

Yeah, well that's.

A (11:08)

Yeah.

B (11:08)

Maybe eliminate the first class seats but make the bathroom the first. The first class experience is the bathroom.

A (11:16)

Or that's just another tier of service. I mean you could get the first class seats and bathrooms. Although again, first class doesn't get first class bathrooms. There's bathrooms and then. Yeah. Wow. I mean, I like leg room. I like, you know, not having some big old boy pressed up against me, but like to have a really nice bathroom and maybe a reservation system. Mr. Getty? Mr. Getty, party of one? Yes, yes, we're ready for you. Oh, lovely. Thank you. I'm going. I would walk up the aisle.

B (11:46)

I'm gonna need from 10 to 10:30.

A (11:50)

That's gonna cost you. This is why I fast before I go on an airplane.

B (11:56)

Yeah, that's what my son does. Yeah, I just.

A (11:58)

I don't even want to ever see that bathroom. Well, I guess that's it. This is an I heart podcast.

C (12:08)

Guaranteed human.