Now That's Alarming!

Summary

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Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: "Now That’s Alarming!"

Date: March 11, 2026
Podcast: iHeartPodcasts

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Episode Overview

This episode of Armstrong & Getty explores the peculiar world of alarm clocks—past, present, and future. The hosts dive into the pitfalls and quirks of waking technology, ranging from high-tech and physically demanding alarm apps to old-fashioned mechanical clocks. With their signature blend of humor and candid personal anecdotes, they examine not only how alarms shape our mornings but what our habits say about us—and why society is so bad at spelling and grammar in the digital age.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Alarm Clock Fails & AM/PM Mix-ups

• Seinfeld's classic alarm clock mistake: The hosts recall the perennial blunder of setting alarms for the wrong time of day.

  • C: "The number one mistake you make with the alarm clock is you get the AM/PM thing wrong, right?" (03:15)
  • C: Suggests smarter alarms: "Surely I can get involved...Why can't it now on my iPhone say you're taking a nap for 14 hours?” (03:26)
  • F: “Are you really intending to sleep from 3pm to, you know, 4:15 tomorrow morning? Really?” (03:54)

• Desire for smarter, more intuitive alarms: The hosts wish for alarms that prompt users about unlikely time choices.

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2. Voice Tech, Siri, and Texting Gripes

• Tech complaints: Frustrations with Siri’s reliability, especially with text input and autocorrect.

  • F: “They can't even get like periods and commas right or spelling...Siri needs a hearing test.” (04:31)
  • C: “I'll voice text...it gets it right the first time, then changes it into gibberish.” (04:40)

• Hyphenation pet peeve:

  • F: “Apple, stop hyphenating so much. It's a thing. You don't want to hyphenate words unless you absolutely have to, especially names…” (04:56)

• Decline in grammar and spelling:

  • The group references a Wall Street Journal piece about elites’ poor writing habits.

  • F: “The global elite have given up on spelling and grammar...nobody bothers to capitalize anymore.” (06:04)

  • C: “In academia and science, I did notice that. That the punctuation sucks.” (06:06)

• Personal standards for grammar in text:

  • F: “I cannot send a text with a grammatical error.”
  • D: “Oh, I'm the same way.” (06:24)

• On refusing to capitalize:

  • C: “I don't see any reason to capitalize anything ever again in my [texts].”
  • F: “Why don't you just run around on all fours grunting, huh? Gonna abandon your humanity, civilization.” (06:45–06:54)

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3. High-Tech and Extreme Alarm Clocks

• Alternative Alarm Clocks:

  • F: Discusses the Sonic Bomb, “for the deepest sleepers,” boasting “flashing lights, screaming sirens, and a bed vibrator.”
    (10:46–11:32)

  • Pavlok Shock Clock:

    • Delivers electric shock to wake users—“about 300 volts to her right wrist.” (11:38)
    • “It's a six or seven on the pain scale. She said it's somebody pinching you and not softly.” (12:09)
    • C: “I would wet myself for one thing...I wouldn't call anything that's a 7 on the pain scale, minor.” (11:58–12:17)

  • Alarmy app:

    • Gives users “missions” (squats, shake phone, type motivational quotes) to disable the alarm. (14:22)
    • “Make sure you're awake.” (14:22)
    • User story: “Kinsey Small… First thing she does in the morning is give her phone 30 vigorous shakes...The shaking somehow gets me to that point where I'm awake. I really do think this is the reason I still have a job.” (18:53)

  • Donation alarm:

    • Alarm only turns off after scanning a barcode or completing a task, otherwise it donates the user’s money to charity.
    • F: “Man, I want to sleep in, but I don't want to sleep in $25 worth.” (13:05)

  • Clocky:

    • Alarm clock that jumps off the nightstand and runs around; user must catch it to turn it off.
    • D: “It was awful...it goes in between your legs...the amount of times I almost chucked that thing.” (18:24)

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4. The History of Alarm Clocks

• Mechanical beginnings:
  • F: “Demand for alarm clocks took off in the late 19th century. Early models were named the Rattler, the Slumber Stopper, and the Tornado.” (16:11–16:14)
  • Snooze-alarm innovation: “The Westclox Siesta was advertised in the 1930s as having a second, more insistent alarm…” (16:34)
  • Some vintage alarms would “lit a flame or made a pot of coffee.” (16:49)

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5. Science & Psychology of Waking Up

• Snooze button—Good or Bad?

  • C: “Is there settled science…is sleeping to the maximum time you can get up the best way? Or is cutting 10 to 15 minutes out...better?” (17:02)
  • F: “I've heard scientists say…you're better off not using the snooze.” (17:29)

• The emotional barrier:

  • F: “It's not a question of sleep, it's a question of, like, emotionally — I’ve got to ease into the idea of getting out of my nice warm bed…” (17:44)

• Physical/trick alarms:

  • Devices that require solving math problems, doing squats, or even shooting a toy gun to stop the alarm abound.

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6. Sleep Hygiene & Consistency

• Regular wake/sleep times matter most:

  • C: “One of the number one things they said for good sleep is to go to bed and get up at the same time every day...I’ve never done that.” (19:53)
  • F: “Yeah, I'm practically religious about it...I don't like the feeling of being sleep deprived.” (20:31)

• Anecdotes about sleep deprivation and aging:

  • The team shares their personal habits, sleep struggles, and differences with age and “missing the days of being able to sleep like that."

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7. Outrageous (and Hypothetical) Alarm Concepts

• Joke alarm ideas:
  • C: “If you said it, it will booty call an ex-girlfriend if you don't get out of bed.” (13:11)
  • F: “How's this for an idea for an alarm clock? You hire somebody with an ice bucket and at 3am they just dump that water.” (21:12)
  • C: “If I don't die, we're fighting.” (21:24)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On AM/PM Blunders:
  • C: “You've never gotten up at 6:30 p.m. before, so it seems unlikely…”
• Low-bar for Capitalization:
  • C: “I don't see any reason to capitalize anything ever again in my [texts].” (06:45)
  • F: “Why don't you just run around on all fours grunting, huh?” (06:54)
• Crazy Alarm Clocks:
  • F: “Sonic Bomb...It's flashing lights, screaming sirens and your bed being shaken like it's the Blitz in 1941.” (11:32)
  • F: “There are alarms that turn off when the would-be snoozers shoot a fake gun at a target or curl a small dumbbell.” (18:02)
  • User review (of Sonic Bomb): “I have a heart attack every morning, but it really wakes me up.” (18:53)
• On Sleep Consistency:
  • C: “I don't know if I've ever not been sleep deprived. So I don't know what that would feel like.” (20:47)

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Segment Timestamps

• Alarm clock mistakes & smarter tech: 03:10–04:00
• AI and tech griping: 04:31–06:54
• Punctuation & grammar wars: 06:11–07:13
• Crazy alarm inventions (Sonic Bomb, Pavlok, Alarmy, etc.): 10:46–14:57
• History of alarm clocks: 15:16–16:51
• Snooze button debate: 17:02–17:44
• Physical alarm innovations (Clocky, fake guns, puzzles, etc.): 18:02–18:56
• Sleep hygiene advice: 19:53–20:47
• Over-the-top joke alarm suggestions: 21:12–21:32

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Tone and Style

• Conversational, irreverent, humorous
• Mingling of genuine frustration with modern life and playful banter
• Both personal anecdotes and references to wider social/technological trends

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For New Listeners: Takeaways

• If you want a mix of comedy, cultural commentary, and a surprising amount of alarm clock history, "Now That’s Alarming!" is classic Armstrong & Getty—bouncing from Seinfeld jokes to rigorous anti-hyphenation rants to deep thoughts on why so many people (and devices) don’t spell well.
• Whether you're a “get up on the first ring” or a multiple-snooze-user, you’ll find your habits dissected, ridiculed, and, ultimately, affirmed by the crew’s frank takes and laugh-out-loud hypotheticals.
• And if you routinely wake up angry, perhaps avoid the Pavlok. Or ice buckets.

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Transcript

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[F]

It's one more thing. Armstrong and Getty One more thing.

[C]

You know,

[B]

I know we're about to

[C]

talk about alarm clocks, but the old It's a Seinfeld joke. The number one mistake you make with the alarm clock is you get the AMPM thing wrong, right? You sleep and you realize you said

[F]

it the other day.

[C]

Yeah, you said it for 6:30pm Instead of a.m. surely I can get involved in that at some point and say, are you sure you want to get up at 6:30pm tomorrow? You've never gotten up at 6:30pmel before, so it seems unlikely that would be. You've never slept the entire day. I think you probably mean 6:30am Surely I can take care of that in the future. Well, why can't it now on my iPhone? Why doesn't it now on my iPhone say you're taking a nap for 14 hours?

[F]

Are you really intending to sleep from 3pm to, you know, 4:15 tomorrow morning? Really? Yeah. Yeah, that's. That's an excellent point. Although sometimes you'll set an alarm for I will. I will. Actually, if I'm playing golf the next morning and I've had a good practice session and all, and I want to remember one particular thing or technique or something. I'll sometimes schedule it 10 minutes before I'm going to get to the golf court. Golf course. An alarm that says, you know, whatever. You know, good tempo, whatever. So anyway, maybe someday they will have that breakthrough. But as I was bitching about during the show, they can't even get like periods and commas right or spelling or it's deaf. Siri is deaf. Siri needs a hearing test.

[C]

Well, and my complaint always is because I watch it, I'll voice text it. It gets it right the first time, then changes it into gibberish. That's what confuses me the most. You heard it correctly, then changed it to something Else why.

[F]

Yeah, you know, another. Another gripe. Which reminds me of a different thing, but. And this is. I realize this is like I'm the only person on earth who is offended by this, but. Apple, stop hyphenating so much. It's a thing. You don't want to hyphenate words unless you absolutely have to, especially names. Happened to me today. I was texting something and hyphenated the midd of somebody's name. It's. I mean. And the reason flabbergasts me is that there's a long tradition of editing in the English language. Publications, books, magazines, whatever, even websites. And the rules are known. They're right there for the AI systems to learn. But for whatever reason, Apple is obsessed with. With hyphenating, so stop. Which also reminds me of this piece I saw. Where was that? In the Wall Street Journal. The global elite have given up on spelling and grammar. The Epstein fracas where all those communications were unearthed and released. And the rest of it, probably improperly, but that's a story for another day. Nobody bothers to capitalize anymore.

[C]

It's full.

[F]

And these are like the elite of Wall Street.

[C]

I did notice that in academia and science, I did notice that. That the punctuation sucks.

[F]

There's misspellings everywhere.

[C]

Incredibly. Well, they're like the way I do it, just incredibly relaxed. You just. Which I'm fine with, but just get the words out and. Yeah, I was kind of surprised by that.

[F]

I cannot send a text with a grammatical error.

[D]

Oh, I'm the same way.

[C]

Well, what do you call it?

[F]

Oh, and if I do, I feel regret, like, I don't know, I accidentally ran over a cat with my car. I feel bad. What?

[C]

What grammar? It depends on the grammatical error. Like, I can't send a wrong version of their.

[F]

Oh, that's funny. That's at the top of my list. I can't either.

[C]

Oh, I regret because I have people think I'm stupid, but I don't see any reason to capitalize anything ever again in my.

[F]

Oh, I capitalize everything.

[D]

No, everything's capitalized.

[C]

Get rid of all the capital.

[F]

Oh, why don't you just. Why don't. Hey, why don't you run around on all fours grunting, huh? Gonna abandon your humanity, civilization. I think that's a fair criticism.

[B]

Let's move on.

[C]

I do no periods in my. My. Just long screed.

[F]

Oh, no, you can figure it out from the context.

[C]

No punctuation.

[F]

Yeah, I hate. We all hate you.

[D]

Yes, I. I sent the wrong two yesterday I meant to and I said

[C]

I don't do, I don't want to do.

[F]

Oh no.

[D]

And I I jumped at the edit button.

[F]

I was like oh my God.

[C]

It's amazing. Like the AI bots who I talk to a lot, they can understand my endless stream of words with no punctuation perfectly fine. They know logically where the word they hate you too. They secretly hate me.

[F]

But Apple is actually sad at AI stuff. It's funny. Anyway,

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[F]

Let's just get back to the topic at hand, which is the fascinating history of alarm clocks and more. We talked about this on the show the podcast earlier, but we didn't get time to do it right, in my opinion. First of all, alternative alarm clocks, including the sonic bomb for the deepest sleepers. It's unbelievably loud. It flashes bright lights and there's this. It looks like a hockey puck. It's a bed vibrator you tuck, I think, under your mattress and it's so strong it shakes you awake. So it's flashing lights, screaming sirens in your bed being shaken like it's the Blitz in 1941.

[C]

Wow. I'm a light sleeper, so any alarm clock could just say, hey, it's time to get up. Be perfectly fine with me. I'd wake up.

[F]

Not me. Shut up. And then we talked about this on the show, this alarm clock, the Pavlock shock clock, which I believe is a play on Pavlov's dogs. But anyway, this gal gets shocked with about 300 volts to her right wrist to get her up in the morning.

[C]

That's weird. I would wet myself for one thing.

[F]

Yes. So she wears like this well look like a watch band to sleep at night and she gets electrocuted to wake her up in the morning.

[C]

She says.

[F]

Yes, like a it's now it's a six or seven on the pain scale. She said it's somebody pinching you and not softly.

[C]

Wow. Okay. So like I don't exactly know what 300 volts feels like, but I wouldn't call anything that's a 7 on the pain scale. Minor.

[D]

This all sounds like a way to just piss me off immediately at the beginning.

[C]

Start the day angry.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And Wet. Because I wet myself.

[F]

Well, and that's. She sets hers at 75% of the maximum voltage at 300. It sounds terrible. Her husband just sets it to 25. Yeah. Let's see. There's this other stuff that we talked about a little bit where you have to. When your alarm goes off, you take your smartphone and you have to scan a barcode like in your bathroom to show you're up and moving. Otherwise. Otherwise it donates your money to charity.

[D]

I like that one.

[F]

Yeah, it's kind of funny. Man, I want to sleep in, but I don't want to sleep in. 25 bucks worth. All right, I'll get up.

[C]

How about if you said it, it will. It will booty call an ex girlfriend if you don't get out of bed.

[A]

Oh, God.

[F]

I'm sure that is a really good idea. You can set it for whatever amount of money you want. But there was one user who must have been crazy rich, set it for $999 and it went off three times.

[C]

Wow. They have the weird self punishment thing. Like I have. Not around our alarm clocks, but other things. Right. Like feel like if I punish myself enough, I want. I won't get it wrong. Which doesn't always work. Well, everybody's done the, like, put the alarm clock across the room. Right. Or something. So you just. You have to get out of bed. And once you're out of bed, it's less likely you're just going to fall back asleep.

[D]

Gosh, I miss the days of being able to sleep like that. Being like a heavy sleeper. I am not anymore.

[C]

Being pregnant, you mean?

[D]

I guess, I don't know. I wake up at everything. I used to be able to sleep through a concert and now it's. There's not a chance.

[F]

Wow. Yeah. Sleep does change through life. It absolutely does.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

Another wake up app is Alarmy, which has roughly 900,000 daily users in the U.S. it gives you missions such as doing squats, shaking the phone, or typing out motivational quotes before it stops sounding to make sure you're awake.

[C]

Wow.

[F]

You have to do a master's problem or something.

[C]

So I can't just flip it off and go back to sleep. I have to do 10 deep knee bends and that's definitely going to wake me up enough. Stay awake.

[D]

How would it know you did 10 squats?

[C]

That's a good question.

[F]

Maybe it has the sensor, but yeah, I would just jack it up and down. Yeah.

[C]

Would you. Would you jack it up and first

[F]

thing in the morning, what does it look like?

[D]

When you do that, Joe.

[F]

And this. This gal who says she's motivated because her husband hates it, and so she's motivated to do it really quick and get up. Let's see. All right, here we go.

[C]

Do you have any idea when the first alarm clock was like, how back? How back? How far back do alarm clocks go? Like mechanical ones, where you wind up.

[F]

You should say that. I was just about to get into. And I know how excited Michael is for this. I really am.

[C]

This reminds me.

[F]

History of the alarm clock.

[C]

This reminds me.

[F]

Fascinating. Did I say fascinated? I'm an idiot.

[C]

Yes. Reminds me when we're on vacation. We were driving through Idaho, and we kept seeing billboards for the potato hall of fame. And I kept telling my kids, oh,

[F]

only 300 more miles.

[C]

This ranks right up there. The history of alarm clocks in the Potato hall of Fame.

[F]

The Potato hall of Fame. Did you stop?

[C]

No, I kept telling them we were going to.

[F]

And they would groan.

[D]

Missed.

[F]

Oh, no, you got your. You got like, your hundred greatest potatoes of all time there, kids. Like, that's a russet, boy. Long before apps like alarmy, makers of alarm clocks recognized that some of their products needed a tinge of menace. Demand for alarm clocks took off in the late 19th century.

[C]

Late 1800s. I was going to guess earlier than that, actually.

[F]

Yeah, I think probably industrial revolution, because before people would go to bed at dark and wake up at light more or less, and do their. Do their stuff in the daylight. Let's see, early models were named the Rattler, the slumber Stopper, and the Tornado. The west clock siesta was advertised in the 1930s as having a second more insistent alarm that went off 10 minutes after the first one.

[C]

Oh, good one. Good or less.

[F]

The invention of the snooze alarm. Yeah, yeah. Other long ago alarms lit a flame or made a pot of coffee.

[D]

Oh, see, now we're talking.

[F]

Oh, yeah. I tell you what, if you could fry up some bacon and make me a pot of coffee, that's the smell of that alone. I would, you know, float out of bed like a cartoon character, be on my way.

[C]

Is there settled science on whether or not the snooze is a good idea? Is sleeping to the maximum time you can get up the best way? Or is cutting 10 to 15 minutes out of your sleep with the snooze alarm the best way I could? You can make an argument for both. I've always used the snooze, but it does cheat you out of, you know, if you're deep asleep. 8, 10, 12. Whatever you set it for. Minutes of deep sleep.

[F]

Yeah, yeah. I've heard scientists say, in fact it's practically universal that no, you're better off not using the snooze.

[C]

Makes sense.

[F]

Sleep and then wake up.

[C]

I just can't get up on that first one.

[F]

No, I can't.

[C]

The first noise. Now I got to jump up out of bed. I can't do it.

[F]

It's not a question of sleep, it's a question of like emotionally to me. I've got to ease into the idea of getting out of my nice warm bed and taking on the day. I gotta get psyched up for nine minutes or so.

[C]

I can't face another day.

[F]

Today there are alarms that.

[C]

Wow.

[F]

Cry for help. Cry for help. Today there are alarms that turn off when the would be snoozers shoot a fake gun at a target or curl a small dumbbell. Oh boy. Clocky, a wheel device that made its debut about 20 years ago, hops off a bedside table and beeps as it zooms around the room. Catch it. You had a cocky.

[C]

Did it work?

[D]

Yes. And it was the. It was awful. Well, dude, you'd guy like you'd go try to pick it up and then because it's. It's a box and it's got two big wheels so it can just change direct.

[C]

Catch it.

[D]

No, you're like groggy. It goes in between your legs. Oh, the amount of times I almost chucked that thing.

[F]

That is hilarious.

[D]

Once I got it.

[C]

What a great idea.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

So I opened talking about the. What was it called? The alarm bomb or whatever. That crazy loud one. Oh, the sonic bomb. 113 decibels.

[C]

Holy crap, that's loud.

[F]

Yeah. To supplement the noise, it has flashing red lights, bed shaking puck for under the mattress or pillow. Even though it was originally made for the deaf and hard of hearing, it's really. It has a huge following among college k, said the marketing director. One user review reads I have a heart attack every morning, but it really wakes me up. Sleep doctors say that some amount of what they call sleep inertia is normal. Ba ba ba da da da. So yeah, it's. Sleep inertia speaks for itself. Let's see. It ends with Kinsey Small, a 31 year old software engineer in Boston has been using Alarmy for years. First thing she does in the morning is give her phone 30 vigorous shakes. Yeah, me too. Smacking it with one hand into the palm of the other. The shaking somehow gets me to that point where I'm awake. I know that I'm up and I have to go to work. I really do think this is the reason I still have a job. Yeah, Some sort of physical activity like that would do it.

[C]

There was a sleep hygiene article in the New York Times a couple weeks ago. Like this is everything we now know about sleep. And one of the number one things they said for good sleep is to go to bed and get up at the same time every day. Yeah. And I've never done that. I don't do it on a Monday through Friday basis, let alone on the weekends. But they said that is the best thing you can do for your sleep is to train your body same time every day. My dad's always done that. He's the opposite of me. He's always gone to bed like 9:30, he's asleep and he gets up at 4:30 or whatever.

[F]

Yeah. I'm practically religious about it.

[E]

All right.

[F]

But through the years I've noticed that if you're like crazy short on sleep, it doesn't affect you much. Me, I'm psychotic. So I. I don't like the feeling of being sleep deprived. It's so miserable. That's part of the reason I get to 10:15. I'm like, no, I'm going to bed.

[C]

I don't know if I've ever not been sleep deprived. So I don't know what that would feel like.

[D]

No, it's a blast.

[C]

I push myself really hard on that, which will kill me early. No doubt about it. Probably the most unhealthy thing I do. Jack.

[F]

There's no alarm clock in the grave. He says, trying to somehow tie that dark thing together with the theme. How'd I do?

[D]

Nailed it.

[F]

How's this for an idea for an alarm clock? You hire somebody with an ice bucket and at 3am they just dump that water.

[C]

Holy crap. I probably would have a heart attack.

[D]

I would haul off and punch that person.

[C]

If I don't die, we're fighting.

[D]

Oh yeah.

[F]

I would beat them hard.

[D]

Yeah. I'm captain. An assault charge.

[F]

No holds barred. Yes.

[D]

But you'd be awake.

[C]

Yes.

[F]

You know what? You're right, Michael.

[D]

Well, I guess that's it.

[C]

You're losing an eye. But I'm awake.

[D]

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[A]

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