Relocate Your Beavers

Summary

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Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: "Relocate Your Beavers"

Date: December 12, 2025
Podcast: Armstrong & Getty On Demand (iHeartPodcasts)

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Overview

This episode of Armstrong & Getty blends their signature sharp wit and cultural commentary with discussions about Ukraine, celebrity feuds, AI therapy, U.S. foreign policy, and an unexpectedly deep dive into beaver relocation. Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty traverse serious global issues, pop culture memes, and quirky news stories—all delivered in a conversational, sometimes irreverent style.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. U.S. Privilege & Zelensky’s Frontline Video (08:00–09:49)

• Theme: Jack and Joe reflect on the concept of “privilege” in America, contrasting it with the extreme adversity faced by people in war zones like Ukraine.
• Zelensky’s video: President Volodymyr Zelensky's latest video from a contested town in Ukraine is discussed as a response to claims from Russia and to international debates about the war's outcomes.
  • Jack is deeply moved by the resilience and stakes involved for Ukrainians.

Notable Quote:

“If we have a privilege in the United States, it's a—We don't have to worry about that at all.”
— Jack Armstrong [09:49]

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2. Cardi B vs. Gavin Newsom & Nicki Minaj Mix-Up (10:01–14:11)

• Theme: Jack and Joe discuss confusion between Cardi B and Nicki Minaj, and analyze Nicki Minaj’s (misattributed to Cardi B) criticisms of Governor Gavin Newsom regarding transgender policy in California.
• Social media callouts: The hosts read out Nicki Minaj's acerbic posts targeting Newsom, mocking his policies and persona with signature sarcasm.

Notable Quote:

“Get on the nearest jet ski and let that beautiful hair blow in the wind. It will make you happier than this race that you will not win... Enjoy life. Peace.”
— Nicki Minaj post, read by Joe Getty [12:14]

• Cultural Commentary: Their confusion over who said what and the significance of the beef between Cardi B and Nicki Minaj highlights the blurred lines of modern celebrity discourse.

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3. Kevin Hart & Michael Jordan Feud (14:22–15:12, 18:48–20:03)

• Theme: The hosts bring up an ongoing comedic feud between Kevin Hart and Michael Jordan, originating from a roast at an event years ago.
• Comedic Analysis: Jack shares that Hart’s recent stand-up references this feud in a bitingly funny manner, though it's pointed and harsh.

Notable Quote:

“He still makes big shots at Jordan being a loser of a dad and pitching a dud with his kids who have failed. And I mean it's pretty, it's pretty harsh stuff, but it's also, it's also hilarious.”
— Jack Armstrong [19:39]

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4. AI as Therapist: Listener Mailbag (20:07–21:25)

• Theme: A listener writes in describing a breakthrough moment talking with an AI (Grok) about their alcoholism—a form of therapeutic support previously inaccessible.
• AI in Therapy: The hosts recognize and discuss that AI may soon replace therapists owing to its surprising efficacy.

Notable Quote:

“Grok has quite possibly given me the advice I need to quit drinking...I've heard so much doom and gloom about AI. While I have my Luddite hesitations, Grok may just have saved me. Lifetime will tell.”
— Listener "Al Anonymous," read by Joe Getty [20:36]

• They joke about the possibility of more jobs, especially therapists, being displaced by AI.

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5. Literary Deep Dive: James Joyce’s Ulysses & AI as a Reading Companion (21:25–23:30, 27:05–29:33)

• Theme: Ongoing banter about Jack reading "Ulysses," drawing in a listener's strong negative reaction to Joyce’s style.
• Perspective: Jack sees "Ulysses" as a celebration of everyday human experience, not just epic lives.
• AI’s Role in Learning: Jack shares he uses chatbots to help interpret and persist through difficult chapters:
  • “There are all kinds of books out there but it’s faster for me to just go to the chatbot and ask a specific question and it gives me the answer.” [28:44]

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6. Will China Invade Taiwan? (29:33–37:32)

• Theme: A comprehensive discussion about a Wall Street Journal article on the hypothetical Chinese invasion of Taiwan.
  • Key Insights: Amphibious operations would be complex, costly, and devastating. U.S. response is uncertain and subject to changing political climates.
  • Joe posits China may prefer political subversion over direct invasion, but Jack warns against assuming rational choices in foreign policy, citing Xi Jinping's high personal investment in the issue.
  • The hosts describe the strategic geography and defense posture of Taiwan.
  • They speculate on the resolve of both the U.S. and China in such a conflict.

Notable Exchange:

“Can you imagine living somewhere where this is a reality in your lifetime that you might be invaded by one of the biggest superpowers on the planet and be in urban combat? Wow.”
— Jack Armstrong [36:39]

“He’s the sort of leader who would think nothing, nothing of spending a million lives in the next six months.”
— Joe Getty [37:02]

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7. Doordash Food Tampering Story & Modern Paranoia (41:10–43:18)

• Theme: The hosts recount a disturbing story of a delivery driver allegedly pepper-spraying a meal, reflecting on new types of everyday anxieties amplified by the modern gig economy and media saturation.
• Humorous Aside: The conversation shifts to more universal worries, like delivery drivers eating fries from your order.

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8. French Fry Preferences & Air Fryer Tips (43:18–44:25)

• Theme: A lighter aside in which Jack and Joe compare notes on types of French fries and the merits of air fryers for reheating.

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9. Utah Relocates Beavers (44:25–46:54)

• Theme: The titular story: Utah’s efforts to resolve beaver-related flooding by relocating the animals rather than expensive engineering fixes.
• Educational Humor: Jack and Joe riff on how much they inexplicably learned about beavers in school.
• Fun Fact: Beavers mate for life; the sex of a beaver is hard to determine.

Notable Quotes:

“Instead of an expensive infrastructure project over there, you just relocate your beavers.”
— Joe Getty [45:28]

“I have never spent a second talking about, thinking about, or reading about beavers that I didn’t enjoy.”
— Joe Getty [46:13]

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10. Final Thoughts from the Crew (47:02–48:34)

• Each crew member reflects on the show’s food cravings, the comedic effect of discussing mundane desires, and plugs for previous content (notably a discussion with Judge Larry Goodman on cameras in courtrooms).

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 08:00 — U.S. privilege vs. war zones, Zelensky’s "keep fighting lads" video
• 11:02 — Cardi B/Nicki Minaj confusion, critique of Gavin Newsom
• 14:22 & 18:48 — Kevin Hart/Michael Jordan feud
• 20:07 — Listener’s AI therapy experience
• 21:25 & 27:05 — James Joyce "Ulysses" and AI-enhanced reading
• 29:33 — Taiwan invasion scenario, U.S.-China geopolitics
• 41:10 — DoorDash food tampering story
• 43:18 — French fries and air fryers
• 44:25 — Utah beaver relocation, fun beaver facts
• 47:02 — Final thoughts and crew wrap-up

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

• “[Zelensky] ends it with, ‘keep fighting, lads.’ And I just, oh, wow, that gets me, like, whoa.” — Jack Armstrong [09:15]
• “Which one sang the WAP song? ... That’s this Nick—This one. Nicki Minaj.” — Jack Armstrong, confused [11:20]
• “I've gotten to that age where I've got no efforts to give. I just don't care.” — Kevin Hart, via Jack Armstrong [20:03]
• “I remember, and this was a full year ago ... not a one of them thought we would [defend Taiwan]. ... Maybe not.” — Jack Armstrong [33:16]
• “I've never spent a second talking about, thinking about or reading about beavers that I didn't enjoy.” — Joe Getty [46:13]

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Style & Tone

Jack and Joe debate with good-humored sarcasm and undiluted authenticity, shifting fluidly between major world events, literature, and the silly side of daily life. Their banter often opens into deeper reflections on technology, geopolitics, and culture, always with underlying wit and skepticism.

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For First-Time Listeners

This episode showcases Armstrong & Getty’s talent for making heavy news and offbeat stories equally compelling. From Ukraine to TikTok beefs and Utah beavers, the hosts reveal how even the oddest stories can prompt deeper questions about society, technology, and what it means to live in the modern world.

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Note:
Content summary skips all ads, station promotion, intros/outros, and non-content sections.

Transcript

[A]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.

[B]

Shh.

[A]

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[C]

This is where mindset comes in.

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[B]

I am Robert Ince and I'm sat next to Brian Cox, who has so.

[C]

Much to tell you about what's on.

[B]

The new series, primarily eels and what else. It was fascinating, though. The eels.

[C]

But we're not just doing eels, are we?

[B]

We're doing a bit with brain computer interfaces, timekeeping, fusion, monkey business, cloud, signs of the North Pole, and eels. Did I mention the eels? Is this ever since you bought that timeshare underneath the Sargasso sea, listen on BBC.com or wherever you get your podcasts. Business owners know that getting a loan isn't always easy, but it can be fast if you know where to look. One of the fastest ways to get a business loan is through an online funding marketplace like Lendio. At Lendio, we've built a marketplace of over 75 lenders and funding partners who know what you need and can get it to you quickly. Depending on the type of funding, money could be on its way to your bank account within 24 hours. See what your business can qualify for in just a few minutes. @lendio.com. that's L E N--I O lendio.com.

[C]

Broadcasting.

[B]

Live from the Abraham Lincoln radio studio.

[A]

At the George Washington Broadcast Center, Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty.

[C]

Armstrong and Getty. And now he. Here's Armstrong and Yeti.

[B]

I was about to launch into it, but you know what? I'm going to wait till after this video that President Zielinski just put out. I want to. I want to discuss in a few minutes. It's something. It is something I realize.

[C]

I want to talk about Cardi B blasting Gavin Newsome.

[B]

Cardi B. The singer. Yes. What the hell is going on?

[C]

No. Cardi B. The architect. Yeah, Cardi B. The singer. Cardi B.

[B]

The architect.

[C]

Oh, speaking of ways to make a living, you've inspired me, you and Katie. You're making fun of me for bringing misery. And I thought, well, wait a minute, that I'm pretty good at that. I could picture myself like, you have a holiday party and people are just not getting the hint and leaving. And I would work the room, hey, how about all that bloodshed in Ukraine? It's incredible. Can you imagine seeing your neighbors die in front of you? You know, I just make a couple of stuff, people. Be gone in 10 minutes. Yeah, a meeting's out of hand. You know, it's like, you know, they won't shut up and listen. I'd stand up and say, look, AI is going to take two thirds of your jobs. Look on your right and left. All those people are going to be gone. Now look in the mirror. You are, too. And it's not going to take long. Now it's all settled down. The boss would shake my hand, I'd walk out.

[B]

I like you showing up to people's Christmas parties at the end, helping them get the last guests out of the house. I was usually the last guest. Standing there in the kitchen, not taking the hint, drinking your booze. You're like Debbie Downer from the old Saturday Night Live thing.

[C]

A lot like that.

[B]

Have you heard about the rise in feline leukemia?

[C]

Beautiful. All right, a lot to squeeze in the final hour of the week. But first, let's take a fun look back at the week that was its cow clips of the week.

[B]

The new word is affordability.

[A]

I wonder what grade you would give.

[C]

A A plus, A plus plus plus plus plus.

[B]

This deal, if it is allowed to move forward, will actually be the death.

[C]

Of the theatrical M.O. business in Hollywood. We're sitting here today trying to save it. We're the United States of America. That's who we are.

[B]

Russia has brought war back to Europe.

[C]

And we must be prepared for the.

[B]

Scale of war our grandparents and great grandparents endured.

[A]

The binary justice department called it the largest Covid fraud scheme in the country. This also has an impact on Somalis. Do you think that the video should be released in full to the American in public?

[B]

But whatever they have would certainly release no problem.

[C]

This video was profoundly shaking.

[B]

I didn't find it distressing or disturbing.

[C]

It looks like any number of a dozens of strikes. We've seen. Senator, have you seen the video? I have seen the video. You have seen the classified video? No, I've not seen the actual video.

[B]

What happens to the oil on that ship?

[C]

Well, we keep it, I guess.

[A]

There have been cameras all over me, analyzing my every move, analyzing my every smile, my every tear. We deserve to have cameras in there.

[C]

I would caution, Erica, be careful what you wish for. You know, it could screw up the proceeding and the results might not be what everybody thinks they should be.

[B]

I think Islam is uniquely indigestible for a secular mindset.

[C]

All women are annoying. Have you ever had sex? No, absolutely not.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

Says the guy who's never got laid.

[B]

Sherrone Moore. Overnight, basically being fired and then detained by police. Something about it excited me and it's kind of one of those deals. The door opens and you can either.

[C]

Walk through it and find out if.

[B]

You can do it or run from it.

[C]

A California woman recently gave birth in a self driving waymo taxi. Then to even things out, the waymo ran over a pedestrian. So I wrote it's not a terrible theory and got texted me back, he killed my dad. Oh my God. If I had to say, like there's only one thing you can ever have have for the rest of time. Which admittedly would be a bit monotonous, but it would probably be a teaser.

[A]

It's clips of the week.

[B]

So serious first or cardi b first?

[C]

Oh, let's get serious out of the way.

[B]

So we were talking yesterday about the ridiculousness of various privilege crap. What am I supposed to do? What do you want me to do? Feel bad all day long? That teacher we had who walks up to kids and tells them they should feel bad.

[C]

But anyway, there's a legislator on the education committee who thinks state policy ought to be telling little white kids they should walk through their day feeling bad, sick.

[B]

Anyway, so in general, I don't believe in the whole privilege thing. One privileged thing that we should all. We don't need to feel bad, but you should feel free. Freaking fortunate every day of your life that you live in the biggest, most powerful country in the world. So you've got no threat, zero threat of some country coming in and shooting your kids, raping your wife. I mean, all of these horrible things that happen all over the world, including Ukraine and that. And I'm, I'm. I'm. I've. I've always been. It really gets to me, really easy. People who are literally fighting for their lives and their family lives. Anyway, President Zelensky just put out a video a couple hours ago, and I'm sure the reason he did it was the conversation that's being had between Trump and European leaders in which Trump says Ukraine's losing and they need to, you know, sign on to this peace deal. And then there's a piece in the Wall Street Journal today going back and forth about whether Ukraine's losing. President Zelensky broadcast a video from the front. A town that Russia had been claiming for weeks, they took. And Zelensky's standing in the middle of that town saying, well, this is the town Russia says they took. They don't have it anymore. We have it. And then he ends it with, keep fighting, lads. And I just, oh, wow, that gets me, like, whoa. I mean, those are people seriously laying it all on the line for their families.

[C]

Can we start calling the alleged peace plan a conditional surrender plan, since that's a much more accurate description of what it is.

[B]

And you can see the look on Zelensky's face when he says, keep fighting, lads. I mean, he mean, you know. Yeah, he means it.

[C]

Yeah. Anywho, that's heavy.

[B]

That is heavy. If we have a privilege in the United States, it's a. We don't have to worry about that at all.

[C]

Transition Music, Michael.

[B]

Wish we had some cardi b music. I don't know if she has any music that's not so filthy we couldn't play it.

[C]

Is she the WAP lady?

[B]

She's the lady.

[C]

I like.

[B]

This. Isn't the same. What is that?

[C]

If I recall correctly, this is the Italian pop star who put out a single in fake English, making fun of the way Europeans sing along to American pop songs, not having any idea what they're saying. So he just went with nonsense. It's really funny.

[B]

Pretty cool music, though. It sounds like John.

[C]

Anyway, you can make it stop now, Michael.

[B]

It worked. I don't remember what we were talking about. Which is the goal of Transition Music.

[C]

Yeah. So Nicki Minaj is blasting Gabby Newsome for his being so hot to trot for kids to have sex changes.

[B]

I get Cardi B and Nicki Minaj mixed up. They're different people.

[C]

They may be.

[B]

Which one said coronavirus and which one said Cardi B? Which one sang the WAP song? That's this Nick. This one. Nicki Minaj.

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

They're both Cardi B. What Nicki Minaj do that? I should know? Anything. Something hits. She's famous for something. I'm pretty sure they've.

[C]

They've had a beef going on for a while. Actually, they're very similar.

[B]

She got a big booty. Yes.

[C]

Wow. Okay, so Rap Banga star Nicki Minaj is blasting Gabby Newsom saying he wants to see trans kids. That's an episode. That's an interview he did with Ezra Klein in the New York Times in which he bragged about the fact that California is the. The first and the best and the biggest sanctuary state for confused adolescents who want to get their bodies mutilated. He's very, very proud of that. So she says she had a series of X posts saying it's the end of the road for you. Oh, Gabby poo. It only gets worse from here for you, buddy. It's the end of the road for you, my love. Get on the nearest jet ski and let that beautiful hair blow in the wind. It will make you happier than this race that you will not win. Enjoy life. Peace. In a follow up, she said, Gavin is the cute boy who got everything handed to him because how cute and sexy and hot and smoking he was. Oh, look at him sitting there in that suit with the sneakers on. He thinks he's Tom Cruise. Only difference is his next mission is impossible. He shouldn't get another leading role. Let's see. Imagine being the guy running on wanting to see trans kids. Ha ha. Not even a trans adult would run on that. Normal adults wake up and think they want to see healthy, safe, happy kids. Not Gav. The Gavn Gav out. Sending the next guy. I'm bored. Wow. Cardi B. Like so many folks in black America.

[B]

Nicki Minaj or Cardi B?

[C]

Nicki Minaj. By Cardi B, I mean different people.

[B]

I'm just.

[C]

Why the hell am I saying no idea? Oh, it's because the next. I'm sorry, the next couple sentences have to do with Cardi B. So Nicki Minaj.

[B]

I just asked. Grok is known as the queen of rap. She sold in the modern era, 100 million records worldwide in the 2000s. She is a big deal. Nicki Minaj.

[C]

Yeah. So anyway.

[B]

And has a large booty.

[C]

Like so many black Americans, she has no patience for the convincing kids they're trans sickness.

[B]

No.

[C]

In 2023, the California governor became the first sanctuary state for transgender identifying children who are seeking drugs and surgeries to alter themselves. Anyway, way to go whichever rapper woman you are, because you're right on this one.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Huh? J.D. vance actually brought cardi B into this conversation for reasons that I will not bother elaborating on because I don't care. And I'm sure you don't either.

[B]

All right. Do you know if Kevin Hart and Michael Jordan actually hate each other? Have you heard about this story? No. Have you watched the most recent Kevin Hart Netflix special that just got released I think this week?

[C]

No.

[B]

Very funny. I find Kevin Hart freaking hilarious. And he's 45 now, so he's got a lot of stuff about aging in there that I think you might find relatable as an aging dad. But he's. He claims, I don't know, maybe they're friends and this is a joke that he and Michael Jordan hate each other and it all goes way back to something many, many years ago. He's got some seriously funny, really edgy smack about Michael Jordan.

[C]

Really? Huh?

[A]

Yeah, really.

[B]

I thought it was quite funny. Anyway, I'll try to figure out if that's real or not, and then we'll get to real news of some sort or commentary. Stay tuned.

[A]

Armstrong and Getty.

[C]

Shh.

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[C]

Enthusiast recently discovered a gilded figurine of Jesus Christ that is believed to be 900. He rushed home to tell his wife but then he remembered he was a metal detector enthusiast.

[B]

That's not nice. So I looked it up. Yeah, the feud between Kevin Hart the comedian and Michael Jordan the basketball player appears to be real. And the full 10 minutes of his special that Kevin Hart spends taking shots at Michael Jordan and in quite hilarious fashion all go back goes back to a feud many, many years ago where Kevin Hart was the emcee at a celebrity something or other and Jordan showed up late and Kevin Hart didn't dig it and then made some jokes about Jordan was dressed, his pants were up too high and he dresses like a pregnant lesbian and a variety of things. And, and he said, and Jordan sat there glum faced the whole time, never laughed anything and then afterwards shook his hand and squeezed really hard. So he still makes big shots at Jordan being a loser of a dad and pitching a dud with his kids who have failed. And I mean it's pretty, it's pretty harsh stuff, but it's also, it's also hilarious. But I mean it's, it's the sort of thing that would make a guy mad.

[C]

Wow. Oof.

[B]

I've gotten to that age where I got no efforts to give. I just don't care.

[C]

Right? He's a funny guy. So a little bonus mailbag here. You can drop us a note if you want [e-mail] A lot of interesting stuff from this. Tony writes the United States season. That Venezuelan oil tanker Gavin Newsom was quoted as saying, my hair gels on that boat. I get it. It's kind of oily looking. Let's see, got this one.

[B]

My hair gels on that boat. That's funny.

[C]

Yeah, it is. Al Anonymous says I've heard Jack discussing his conversations with AI for some time now. I've also heard Jack talk about alcoholism. I'm an alcoholic and I've admitted it in a completely new way. That was not possible just a year ago. Yesterday I started talking to Grok about why I drink and how I ended up drinking as much as I do. Grok has quite possibly given me the advice I need to quit drinking. It's going to be a long road, starting with some pill that should help, but I may just make it. I've heard so much doom and gloom about AI. While I have my Luddite hesitations, Grok may just have saved my lifetime. Will tell.

[B]

Wow, that's something. I was talking to my doctor yesterday and he said, I wonder if I'm going to be, you know, replaced by AI And I said, I don't know about medical doctors, but I said therapists. And he, he was completely unaware of this. I said, therapists better find a new line of work because the AI is really Good.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. I would attest. And then this from Drew, the millennial guys. Ulysses by James Joyce sucks. Jack has been discussing his slogging his way through that which amazing classic of literature.

[B]

I absolutely love it.

[C]

You claim to, but you don't. Anyway, Drew writes. Let's see. It sucks with 4 S's. I hate that stupid book. At a certain point, esoteric rhetorical creativity has no value. It's just silly. I remember the chapter he referred to. Today, nine months of gestation is an allegory for the development of human language. Oh, and I'll write some rambling, incomprehensible book about how the creation of Christianity is a parable for the west coast offense, just so people who pretend to understand it could brag to each other. It's a joke. It's Andy Warhol's soup can. Anyway, love the show.

[B]

That's pretty good.

[C]

Hates the book. Loves the show. That's. That's some good writing. The creation of Christianity is a parable for the west coast offense, I would say.

[B]

I think it's interesting that I tried to read that book many times throughout my life and couldn't. And then after continuing to read very difficult stuff for the past 25 years or however long I got to the point where I could read it. So there's some, like. There's some, like, ability to appreciate it that I gained by reading other difficult literature. Like, I. Like. I worked myself up to it. Classical music, like, in the way that I don't even understand.

[C]

Yeah, Yeah. I don't know. That description reminds me of some philosophy that I just can't get into. I know a lot of people are into it, and I would like to say that I am because it makes me look smart, but I just. I get a certain depth into it. I think this is a complete waste of time. This is just ruminating about stuff that doesn't matter. I need to go make a living. Excuse me.

[B]

Yeah. I think Joyce is actually the exact opposite of ruminating about something that doesn't matter, but maybe another time. We've got some more news of the day. We ought to get to some stuff that's just happened.

[A]

Armstrong and Getty. Then the space hamster flew his hot air balloon all the way to the bottom of the ocean. Where did that story come from? Book Dream? Nope. It came from a conversation. Meet Miko Mini plus, the AI companion that co creates personalized story adventures with your child in real time. What color was the hamster's cape? And what did he pack for lunch? Unlock your child's imagination. Discover Miko Mini plus and the Magic of AI exclusively at Costco. 10 athletes will face the toughest job interview in fitness that will push past physical and mental breaking points. You are the fittest of the fit. Only one of you will leave here with an IFIT contract worth $250,000.

[C]

This is where mindset comes in.

[A]

Someone will be eliminated. Pressure is coming down. This is Trainer Games.

[C]

Watch it on prime video starting January 8th.

[A]

Looking for a way to make story time more magical for both you and your little ones? Meet the Story Dream Machine, where colorful lights and sound effects help each story unfold right before your eyes. From classic tales to new adventures. There's a wide variety of story packs to collect, sold separately. And here's the best part. Story Time doesn't have to stay in the living room. With the Storytime Travel Case. You can bring your Story Dream Machine and stories anywhere on vacation, to Grandma and Grandpa's, even outside under the stars. Want to make it even more interactive? Add a Story Dreamers plush to the mix and watch your child engage with their favorite stories and a whole new way. The Story Dream Machine makes story time more magical for you and your little ones. Its colorful lights and sound effects help all our stories, from classic tales to new adventures, unfold right before your eyes. Use the Storytime Travel Case to take it with you. Or Add a Story Dreamers plush too. So go ahead, spark imagination, create memories and bring story time to life. With the Story Dream Machine, the infinite.

[B]

Monkey cage returns imminently. I am Robert Ince and I'm sat next to Brian Cox, who has so much to tell you about what's on the new Scene series, primarily eels and what else. It was fascinating, the eels, but we're.

[C]

Not just doing eels, are we?

[B]

We're doing a bit with brain computer interfaces, timekeeping, fusion, monkey business, cloud science of the North Pole, and eels. Did I mention the eels? Is this ever since you bought that timeshare underneath the Sargasso sea? Listen on BBC.com or wherever you get your podcasts.

[A]

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[B]

Look like if China tries to invade Taiwan? Got some interesting stuff on that in just a second, but I wanted to get back to this briefly and I promise it's brief. If you're rolling your eyes at this, the why James Joyce's Ulysses is a big piece of art that has lasted as long as it has. What I really think is interesting so it's the whole book is the day, one day in the life of three people. It's just. It's one day June 16, 1904 in Dublin, Ireland.

[C]

But the idea one pages long.

[B]

It's like 800 pages long but. And it's kind of based on the Odyssey. But his point is all of literature up until that point really and art was all about kings and queens and soldiers and conquerors and all these different sorts of things. And the Odyssey is that sort of thing. His point is that we all as human beings with the most mundane of lives, live all of the fear, love, success, envy, hate, everything lust that mankind can have that a human experience can have on a near daily basis as just regular people. It's not only something for kings, queens and people that have won and conquered in battles or whatever. It's for every single individual to experience the the full gamut of human emotions just in regular life. Just raising kids, dealing with your wife and co workers and blah blah blah.

[C]

What supplemental material have you found most helpful in reading it?

[B]

I actually been using the chatbots a lot there. There are all kinds of books out there but it's faster for me to just go to the chat bot and ask a specific question and gives me the answer.

[C]

Give us a for instance just to help me understand what that process looks like.

[B]

Like, like the other day I said I am really slogging, getting, getting run down and trying to re read chapter 12 which is called the oxen something or other. And I said what can you do for me here and which is which is one of the things I love about chatbots is you can talk to them like that says, yeah, lots of people quit here. That's where most people quit. So try to fight your way through it. Here's what's happening. Here's a way to approach it. Don't get too caught up in trying to figure out what's actually occurring. Just keep moving forward. It'll have a payoff in the end.

[C]

For instance. Oh wow, wow, wow. That's great. That's amazing.

[B]

Now these chat bots are amazing for lots of different stuff. Anyway, back to this. The this is according to an article in the Wall Street Journal and their writers, which I found really, really interesting. The biggest geopolitical unknown facing the entire planet with everything that's going on is whether Beijing will try to conquer Taiwan in the near future. The close second to that question is will the United States come to Taiwan's defense as a response? Those are some major questions. They lay it out in this very long article in the Wall Street Journal. If you're interested in this topic, I highly recommend trying to figure out how to read it. Wall Street Journal is pretty good at paywalling people, making you pay for their content. Here's how it would start. Five miles off Taiwan's coast, ZTD05amphibious vehicles from China roll out of ships and zip over the water amid a hail of artillery fire. The Chinese soldiers inside have their orders. Seize the beach or die trying. Close by, China's airborne troops are taking losses. They arrived before dawn and low flying aircraft to seize the airport. Taiwanese defenders down several planes. The paratroopers that landed scattered and are in a race to assault the airfield before Taiwan wrecks it. This hypothetical battle scenario imagines a Chinese invasion of Taiwan. As militaries, policymakers and war gamers are doing all over the world to try to predict what would happen and when it might happen. An amphibious invasion would be one of the toughest military operations to execute and an all out war would be extremely bloody. Devastate the global economy and change the course of the 21st century. That's all.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Worth noting. Speaking of literature and reading and that sort of thing, the modern article, and I happen to have read that one where you like scroll and it gives you graphics and like moving maps and stuff. Is is so cool. Yeah, I still want to unplug the Internet, but I admit that's pretty cool.

[B]

It's roughly 110 miles from the Chinese mainland to Taiwan. The Taiwan Strait is a daunting obstacle. Tens of thousands of Chinese troops would need to cross it with tanks, trucks and more, while Taiwan's missiles and mines and possibly US bombers and submarines target the invading fleet. Man, that's the big wild guard. With Trump as president or Biden or whoever as president, I'm not sure how any US President would react. The strait can be hostile without any of that because the weather is really rough around there, as they point out.

[C]

Taiwan is only like eight weeks a year where it's. It's at all a good idea to cross it, which I found interesting, kind.

[B]

Of handy as a defense to know that you probably have to attack during a specific window. So it makes it easier to know when it's coming. Taiwan is much bigger than Okinawa or Iwo Jima, the nearby Japanese islands that U.S. forces captured in World War II battles. And if you're a fan of that, you know what an ugly struggle that was. The 1945 Battle of Okinawa was the last time a very large scale amphibious operation has happened on planet Earth. And that was pretty simple compared to what an invasion of Taiwan would be. I remember, and this was a full year ago probably when I was listening to the National Review podcast with all the writers on there, very Republican magazine, conservative people, people that care about, you know, they're not, they're not isolationists, most.

[C]

Of them.

[B]

And they did a around the Horn. Who thinks we would come to the defense of Taiwan if China attacked? Not a one of them thought we would. I think this was when Biden was president, but isn't that something? I had been living with this assumption that we are going to help defend Taiwan, but maybe not.

[C]

Well, every day, certainly every month, the math changes. How powerful are the Chinese? How intertwined are our economies? You know, what's the, what's the state of the readiness of our forces? What's the commander in chief's attitude? It's just, it's ever changing. I've come to believe they're not going to invade, by the way, and I believe it pretty firmly because I could certainly be wrong, but because the other option from Xi Jinping's point of view, is to let. To do it, politically speaking, have a little more patience and let the wheels of politics in Taiwan turn. There's already a substantial pro China, pro let's have happy relations with China. Part of their internal politics. I think their legislators like anti China, but their executive branch is pro China at this point, I might have it backwards, forgive me, I'm not an expert, but there are definitely green shoots, as people like to say these days. For look, maybe we could get something going like Hong Kong was supposed to be two systems, one country. There are plenty of people within Taiwan who want that. And China's just going to keep working that angle as hard as they can with every tool they have.

[B]

Well, that would be the smart thing to do. My biggest disagreement with people like Ian Bremmer and other writers is they always assume people are going to do the smart thing. People regularly don't do the smart thing for all kinds of reasons. And the reading on Xi Jinping's personality and entire life is this is what he cares more about than practically anything in the world is taking Taiwan. And he might do it just because he wants to and he's the guy that makes the call.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Was it. Would it be a good idea? No, I absolutely don't think it would be a good idea for him.

[C]

Yeah, I could see the U.S. and, you know, China's other allies, some of whom are kind of new to the scene. Japan, for instance, is like militantly pro Taiwan. Not China's allies, Taiwan's allies. In a way that's surprising given the history. But I could see, even if we don't send our warships and all to engage in direct battles, like a serious effort to finance and aid Taiwan's resistance any way we could. Because as that article points out in great detail, amphibious invasions, particularly of a place like Taiwan, with their defenses and their topography, would be horrifically costly.

[B]

I'll give you a little more of this and then if you're interested, you can seek it out and read it yourself. Most of Taiwan's 23 million people are concentrated along the coast that faces China. So they're closest to, you know, where the action would have. Taiwan is increasingly preparing to bog down Chinese forces in deadly urban combat, according to people that, you know, work with the various think tanks and everything in Taiwan, defenders who know the cities can set up sniper positions and make it difficult for China to identify strongholds nested in the concrete. Can you imagine living somewhere where this is a reality in your lifetime that you might be invaded by one of the biggest superpowers on the planet and be in urban combat? Wow.

[C]

Right. And Taiwan has money and incredible technology to make that extra lethal too. So it would be, again, just mind.

[B]

Bogglingly cost and maybe the most important ally on Earth. Maybe.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. But it's the same time to your point about Xi Jinping being kind of fixated on this sort of thing, Remember, he's the sort of leader who would think nothing, nothing of spending a million lives in the next six months.

[B]

Right.

[C]

He wouldn't even miss lunch. Never mind being awake at night, which.

[B]

We can't wrap our heads around because if we lost 900 guys, it would be the biggest story in America by far.

[C]

Yeah, there would be giant memorials.

[B]

Well, hope that doesn't happen in my lifetime. We will finish strong.

[A]

Next Armstrong and Gettysburg. Then the space hamster flew his hot air balloon all the way to the bottom of the ocean. Where did that story come from? Book Dream? Nope. It came from a conversation. Meet Meco Mini plus, the AI companion that co creates personalized story adventures with your child in real time. What color was the hamster's cape and what did he pack for lunch? Unlock your child's imagination. Discover Miko Mini plus and the Magic of AI exclusively at Costco. 10 athletes will face the toughest job interview in fitness that will push past physical and mental breaking points. You are the fittest of the fit. Only one of you will leave here with an IFIT contract for $250,000.

[C]

This is where mind that comes in.

[A]

Someone will be eliminated. Pressure is coming down. This is Trainer Games.

[C]

Watch it on prime video starting January 8th.

[A]

If you have young kids, you know how important it is to find screen free activities that actually hold their attention. The Story Dream Machine does just that with simple kid friendly controls and a magical way of bringing stories to life. It projects words while a narrator reads a letter out, helping your child develop early reading skills and word recognition. The colorful lights and sound effects make every story feel like an adventure. Kids can follow along, recognize sight words and build confidence with every tale. Parents love how easy it is to swap stories and customize the experience for different ages. And when the story's over, it transforms into a white noise nightlight. To help your child drift off to sleep, you can collect a growing library of stories. Stories including many you loved as a kid. It's a bedtime game changer and a daytime learning tool all in one. Find the Story Dream Machine at Amazon, Target, Costco, Walmart and LittleTikes.com bring story time to life with the Story Dream Machine.

[B]

The infinite Monkey cage returns imminently. I am Robert Ince and I'm sat next to Brian Cox who has so much to tell you about what's on the new series. Primarily eels and what else? It was fascinating though. The eels.

[C]

But we're not just doing eels, are we? We're doing a bit.

[B]

Brain computer interfaces, timekeeping, fusion, monkey business, cloud science of the North Pole and eels. Did I mention the eels? Is this ever since you bought that timeshare underneath the Sargasso sea, listen on BBC.com or wherever you get your podcasts.

[A]

Now I'd like to introduce you to Meaningful Beauty, the famed skincare brand created by iconic supermodel Cindy Crawford. It's her secret to absolutely gorgeous skin. Meaningful Beauty makes powerful and effective skin care simple and it's loved by millions of women. It's formulated for all ages and all skin tones and types. And it's designed to work as a complete skin care system, leaving your skin feeling soft, smooth and nourished. I recommend starting with Cindy's full regimen which contains all five of her best selling products including the amazing youth Activating Melon Serum. This next generation serum has the power of of melonleaf stem cell technology. It's melonleaf stem cells encapsulated for freshness and released onto the skin to support a visible reduction in the appearance of wrinkles. With thousands of glowing five star reviews, why not give it a try? Subscribe today and you can get the Amazing Meaningful Beauty system for just $49.95. That includes our introductory five piece system, free gifts, free shipping and a 60 day money back guarantee. All that available at Meaningful.

[C]

I noticed my wife had started eating and she started choking and gasping and after she had had a couple bites.

[B]

Of her food she actually threw up.

[C]

And I had a look at the bag and see that there was some kind of spray or something.

[B]

The bag had been tampered with.

[C]

So I pulled up my doorbell camera and seen that the lady that dropped.

[B]

The food off had actually tampered with it. We assume it's pepper spray.

[C]

It's more than likely what it is. But it now in this day age.

[B]

It could have been anything, could have been rat boys and could have been fentanyl. We live in a terrible world right now. Horrific. People are mean for no reason. There was no reason to do what she done. That's a pretty rough story. So you brought this to us the other day, Katie. So somebody, some weirdo, some doordash weirdo, pepper sprays the food. It's like a random act of meanness, but I assume so.

[C]

I don't know. You're making an assumption. Maybe the person ordering it sent a note. Hey, make sure there's pepper, add some pep, bring some pepper packets. And like was really bugging the guy. He thought I'll give you some pepper.

[B]

You don't know, you bastard. I assume somewhere in there he calls 911 or something. If the person I'm meeting with starts to sweat, cough, convulsion, then vomit. And I realize the food's been tampered with. I'm thinking, holy crap, somebody might die here.

[C]

Sure. Yeah. It's horrifying.

[B]

So like you said, it could have been rat poison or anything I don't know about. The world is a mess and everyone's evil because of that one instance.

[C]

I think that was the most revealing and interesting thing that was said. It was funny. I was thinking about this story, and I thought, up until very, very recently, I never would have heard that story. And I wouldn't spend a single second of my life worrying about doordash drivers pepper spraying my food. And I wouldn't need to, because it will never, ever happen.

[B]

I worry about them eating my fries.

[C]

Yes. Now, Wade, now we're talking, and I'm.

[B]

I'm not even as worried about them eating fries because there's more fries. There's gonna be more fries in the bag than I need anyway. I just don't want your grubby, greasy fingers in there, you know, I don't want your hands in my bag, if you pardon the expression.

[C]

No, I, well, yes, I will. There's a bag in hands involved. It's fine. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm distracted by french fries, which are deliciously evil. Absolutely evil. Do you have an air fryer yet? Do you have a toaster oven that can do air frying?

[B]

I have an air fryer. I'm not great at using it, but I have one. Why?

[C]

I was just thinking fries to go, fries left over and similar fare. They can be brought back to life and be damn near, if not as delicious as they ever were.

[B]

God dang it. I have so little self control. I'm having McDonald's fries today. Those are my favorite fries. Fries. I love McDonald's fries, but I also like a big, thick, potatoey fry.

[C]

Pub fry. Yes.

[B]

Like, I know this makes me a very pedestrian person, but I really like Red Robin's french fries. And it's bottomless. Just in case. 100 french fries when they first bring you.

[C]

Yeah, they're good.

[B]

Aren't enough. They'll bring you another 100 french fries. Those are some good french fries. Got slathered with ketchup. Give me, give me that right now. I need a big bowl of that, that bag of that box of that.

[C]

Utah's relocating its beavers. Do you want to hear about that? We were talking earlier about. I, I, I prefaced some critical of Trump stuff with the fact that Trump does some stuff that I think is great. And he's the only guy to do it because he doesn't. He. He gives zero S's And I remember what story it was. We brought the story from the Free Beacon the other day about how there were. There are a bunch of tech companies, many of them in California that Openly say no U.S. citizens need apply.

[B]

That's maddening.

[C]

Which is incredibly maddening. Trump Justice Department is going after, well.

[B]

If my kids apply for a job when they get out there in the workplace and they can't get it because they're US Citizens, that's maddening.

[C]

Well, right, right. But again, Pam Bondi and crew got hold of this. They found out about it. Donald J. Probably saw it in the Free Beacon and they said this will not stand. And they are going to unleash holy hell on companies that would dare say that. Which is great.

[B]

And that's why Utah's relocating their beavers, right?

[C]

Yeah. No, unrelated, as a matter of fact. Their dams cause floods and that gets them in trouble with humans. But in the right place, more water can be a big help. So you don't need beavers dam and stuff up over here. Damn it, beavers. But instead of an expensive infrastructure project over there, you just relocate your beavers.

[B]

You know, that, that. Why do I know as much about beavers and dam building as I do from school?

[C]

Why did they.

[B]

At least in my schooling, I don't know if my kids learned this. They seem to think it was really important that I knew a lot about beavers and what they do and dams and the whole thing.

[C]

I have never spent a second talking about, thinking about or reading about beavers that I didn't enjoy.

[B]

No, no, it's enjoyable. But I'm just surprising that somebody just.

[C]

Know about the flat tail, right?

[B]

And warning. Yeah, I do. I know about this, right? The little tunnels in the dam and everything like that. The way they build. It's pretty cool.

[C]

Here's this lady who's a beaver specialist. She. She works with beavers and relocating them and studying.

[B]

She's probably very happy.

[C]

I'll bet she's happier than hell to go to work. Tough to tell the sex of a beaver. Do you know that?

[B]

I did not.

[C]

Well, now you do. And you enjoyed it. Like every moment I've ever spent contemplating doing beavers.

[B]

He can't just.

[C]

It was another fascinating revelation.

[B]

You can't just flip a beaver over and say crank or. No, it doesn't work that way. It's more complicated. Okay. Nope.

[C]

Hey kids, it's that time again. With Armstrong and Getty, here's your host for final thoughts, Joe Getty, Beaver's mate for life, by the way.

[B]

That's right. We learned that the other day.

[C]

Maybe that Michigan football coach ought to stop being such a Wolverine, be more of a Beaver. Huh? Huh? Anyway, let's get a final thought from everybody on the crew to wrap up the show for the day in the week. Michelangelo, our technical director, lead us off. Michael. All right. Our show has a problem. Yesterday we mentioned cheeseburgers on the area. Ate cheeseburgers. Today it's gonna be fries. It was mentioned on the air. If we keep this up, I know.

[B]

It'S gonna be some rags on the stick for everybody. I notice that doesn't happen with salad or brussels sprouts.

[C]

Yeah, it doesn't work quite the same way, does it? Katie Green, our esteemed the newswoman, has a final thought. Katie, just want to thank Joe for.

[B]

Ruining deck the halls because I'll never.

[C]

Un here with the bowels. Oh, boy, that was gratuitous. Jack, do you have a final thought you'd like to share?

[B]

Yeah, I'm just gonna throw in this news item that fired Michigan football coach has been charged with three crimes including home invasion and stalking. He could spend a long time in prison over this.

[C]

Wow. Wow. My final thought is slightly self serving a Yona coach. Go to Armstrong and Yeti.com and or wherever you like to download podcasts if you think you're in favor of cameras in the courtroom. Listen to our conversation with judge Larry Goodman, a a retired superior court judge, talking about how cameras are insidious in courtrooms and all the problems they cause. Super interesting.

[B]

That was the best thing we did today.

[C]

More interesting than be verse.

[B]

Armstrong and Getty wrapping up another grueling four hour workday.

[C]

So many people. Thanks a little time. Go To Armstrong and getty.com for links to podcasts. Drop us a note if you see something we ought to be talking about. [e-mail] Pick up some Angie swag. The superstore is open.

[B]

I've got to start my Christmas shopping this weekend.

[C]

I've got to. I'm up against the wall.

[B]

Time is running out. Out. The pressure is on.

[C]

See you Monday.

[B]

God bless America.

[C]

Armstrong and Ghetti. I just want a couple eggs.

[B]

No breakfast. Cheeseburger.

[C]

Huh? I don't want a cheeseburger.

[B]

Come on, come on, come on.

[C]

Don't give me that.

[B]

Come on, let's go, let's go.

[C]

We gotta have turnover. We want a cheeseburger.

[B]

Come on.

[C]

Everybody got cheeseburger?

[B]

You want cheeseburger? Come on.

[C]

Cheeseburger. I don't want a cheeseburger.

[B]

It's too early for a cheeseburger.

[C]

Too early for a cheeseburger.

[B]

Look.

[C]

Cheese. But I got cheeseburger. The Armstrong and Getty. Shh.

[A]

You won't believe what my new friend just told me about dinosaurs. Is your child having conversations you never imagined? Are they learning without realizing it? It's not a tablet. It's not a toy. It's Meco Mini plus, the AI powered companion that turns curiosity into endless learning. Hear the future of playtime. Meet the extraordinary Miko Mini Plus. Only at Costco, 10 athletes will face the toughest job interview in fitness that will push past physical and mental breaking points. You are the fittest of the fit. Only one of you will leave here with an IFIT contract for 250. $50,000.

[C]

This is where mindset comes in.

[A]

Someone will be eliminated. Pressure is coming down. This is Trainer Games.

[C]

Watch it on Prime Video. Starting January 8th, the Infinite Monkey Cage returns imminently. I am Robin Ince and I'm sat next to Brian Cox, who has so.

[B]

Much to tell you about what's on the new series. Primarily eels. And what else that it was fascinating. The. The eels.

[C]

But we're not just doing eels, are we? We're doing a bit we.

[B]

Brain computer interfaces, timekeeping, fusion, monkey business, cloud, signs of the North Pole, and eels. Did I mention the eels? Is this ever since you bought that timeshare underneath the Sargasso sea? Listen on BBC.com or wherever you get your podcasts.

[C]

If you've been in business for at.

[B]

Least six months and have a decent credit score, you could get business funding in as little as 24 hours. But you don't have to spend a ton of time going from lender to lender to find the best match for your small business. Drive your business forward with Lendio. Just let Lendio do it for you.

[C]

At Lendio, we've built a marketplace of.

[B]

Over 75 lenders and funding partners who know what you need and can get it to you quickly. See what your business can qualify for in just a few [e-mail] that's L E N D I O Lindio.com. this is Jacob Goldstein from what's yous Problem? Business software is expensive. And when you buy software from lots of different companies, it's not only expensive, it gets confusing. Slow to use, hard to integrate. Odoo solves that because all Odoo software is connected on a single affordable platform. Save money without missing out on the features you need. Odoo has no hidden costs and no limit on features or data. Odoo has over 60 apps available for any needs your business might have, all at no additional charge. Everything from websites to sales to inventory to accounts. All linked and talking to each other. Check out Odoo at o d o o dot com. That's o d o o dot com.

[A]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.