Armstrong & Getty On Demand
Episode: "Relocate Your Beavers"
Date: December 12, 2025
Podcast: Armstrong & Getty On Demand (iHeartPodcasts)
Overview
This episode of Armstrong & Getty blends their signature sharp wit and cultural commentary with discussions about Ukraine, celebrity feuds, AI therapy, U.S. foreign policy, and an unexpectedly deep dive into beaver relocation. Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty traverse serious global issues, pop culture memes, and quirky news stories—all delivered in a conversational, sometimes irreverent style.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. U.S. Privilege & Zelensky’s Frontline Video (08:00–09:49)
- Theme: Jack and Joe reflect on the concept of “privilege” in America, contrasting it with the extreme adversity faced by people in war zones like Ukraine.
- Zelensky’s video: President Volodymyr Zelensky's latest video from a contested town in Ukraine is discussed as a response to claims from Russia and to international debates about the war's outcomes.
- Jack is deeply moved by the resilience and stakes involved for Ukrainians.
Notable Quote:
“If we have a privilege in the United States, it's a—We don't have to worry about that at all.”
— Jack Armstrong [09:49]
2. Cardi B vs. Gavin Newsom & Nicki Minaj Mix-Up (10:01–14:11)
- Theme: Jack and Joe discuss confusion between Cardi B and Nicki Minaj, and analyze Nicki Minaj’s (misattributed to Cardi B) criticisms of Governor Gavin Newsom regarding transgender policy in California.
- Social media callouts: The hosts read out Nicki Minaj's acerbic posts targeting Newsom, mocking his policies and persona with signature sarcasm.
Notable Quote:
“Get on the nearest jet ski and let that beautiful hair blow in the wind. It will make you happier than this race that you will not win... Enjoy life. Peace.”
— Nicki Minaj post, read by Joe Getty [12:14]
- Cultural Commentary: Their confusion over who said what and the significance of the beef between Cardi B and Nicki Minaj highlights the blurred lines of modern celebrity discourse.
3. Kevin Hart & Michael Jordan Feud (14:22–15:12, 18:48–20:03)
- Theme: The hosts bring up an ongoing comedic feud between Kevin Hart and Michael Jordan, originating from a roast at an event years ago.
- Comedic Analysis: Jack shares that Hart’s recent stand-up references this feud in a bitingly funny manner, though it's pointed and harsh.
Notable Quote:
“He still makes big shots at Jordan being a loser of a dad and pitching a dud with his kids who have failed. And I mean it's pretty, it's pretty harsh stuff, but it's also, it's also hilarious.”
— Jack Armstrong [19:39]
4. AI as Therapist: Listener Mailbag (20:07–21:25)
- Theme: A listener writes in describing a breakthrough moment talking with an AI (Grok) about their alcoholism—a form of therapeutic support previously inaccessible.
- AI in Therapy: The hosts recognize and discuss that AI may soon replace therapists owing to its surprising efficacy.
Notable Quote:
“Grok has quite possibly given me the advice I need to quit drinking...I've heard so much doom and gloom about AI. While I have my Luddite hesitations, Grok may just have saved me. Lifetime will tell.”
— Listener "Al Anonymous," read by Joe Getty [20:36]
- They joke about the possibility of more jobs, especially therapists, being displaced by AI.
5. Literary Deep Dive: James Joyce’s Ulysses & AI as a Reading Companion (21:25–23:30, 27:05–29:33)
- Theme: Ongoing banter about Jack reading "Ulysses," drawing in a listener's strong negative reaction to Joyce’s style.
- Perspective: Jack sees "Ulysses" as a celebration of everyday human experience, not just epic lives.
- AI’s Role in Learning: Jack shares he uses chatbots to help interpret and persist through difficult chapters:
- “There are all kinds of books out there but it’s faster for me to just go to the chatbot and ask a specific question and it gives me the answer.” [28:44]
6. Will China Invade Taiwan? (29:33–37:32)
- Theme: A comprehensive discussion about a Wall Street Journal article on the hypothetical Chinese invasion of Taiwan.
- Key Insights: Amphibious operations would be complex, costly, and devastating. U.S. response is uncertain and subject to changing political climates.
- Joe posits China may prefer political subversion over direct invasion, but Jack warns against assuming rational choices in foreign policy, citing Xi Jinping's high personal investment in the issue.
- The hosts describe the strategic geography and defense posture of Taiwan.
- They speculate on the resolve of both the U.S. and China in such a conflict.
Notable Exchange:
“Can you imagine living somewhere where this is a reality in your lifetime that you might be invaded by one of the biggest superpowers on the planet and be in urban combat? Wow.”
— Jack Armstrong [36:39]
“He’s the sort of leader who would think nothing, nothing of spending a million lives in the next six months.”
— Joe Getty [37:02]
7. Doordash Food Tampering Story & Modern Paranoia (41:10–43:18)
- Theme: The hosts recount a disturbing story of a delivery driver allegedly pepper-spraying a meal, reflecting on new types of everyday anxieties amplified by the modern gig economy and media saturation.
- Humorous Aside: The conversation shifts to more universal worries, like delivery drivers eating fries from your order.
8. French Fry Preferences & Air Fryer Tips (43:18–44:25)
- Theme: A lighter aside in which Jack and Joe compare notes on types of French fries and the merits of air fryers for reheating.
9. Utah Relocates Beavers (44:25–46:54)
- Theme: The titular story: Utah’s efforts to resolve beaver-related flooding by relocating the animals rather than expensive engineering fixes.
- Educational Humor: Jack and Joe riff on how much they inexplicably learned about beavers in school.
- Fun Fact: Beavers mate for life; the sex of a beaver is hard to determine.
Notable Quotes:
“Instead of an expensive infrastructure project over there, you just relocate your beavers.”
— Joe Getty [45:28]
“I have never spent a second talking about, thinking about, or reading about beavers that I didn’t enjoy.”
— Joe Getty [46:13]
10. Final Thoughts from the Crew (47:02–48:34)
- Each crew member reflects on the show’s food cravings, the comedic effect of discussing mundane desires, and plugs for previous content (notably a discussion with Judge Larry Goodman on cameras in courtrooms).
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 08:00 — U.S. privilege vs. war zones, Zelensky’s "keep fighting lads" video
- 11:02 — Cardi B/Nicki Minaj confusion, critique of Gavin Newsom
- 14:22 & 18:48 — Kevin Hart/Michael Jordan feud
- 20:07 — Listener’s AI therapy experience
- 21:25 & 27:05 — James Joyce "Ulysses" and AI-enhanced reading
- 29:33 — Taiwan invasion scenario, U.S.-China geopolitics
- 41:10 — DoorDash food tampering story
- 43:18 — French fries and air fryers
- 44:25 — Utah beaver relocation, fun beaver facts
- 47:02 — Final thoughts and crew wrap-up
Memorable Moments & Quotes
- “[Zelensky] ends it with, ‘keep fighting, lads.’ And I just, oh, wow, that gets me, like, whoa.” — Jack Armstrong [09:15]
- “Which one sang the WAP song? ... That’s this Nick—This one. Nicki Minaj.” — Jack Armstrong, confused [11:20]
- “I've gotten to that age where I've got no efforts to give. I just don't care.” — Kevin Hart, via Jack Armstrong [20:03]
- “I remember, and this was a full year ago ... not a one of them thought we would [defend Taiwan]. ... Maybe not.” — Jack Armstrong [33:16]
- “I've never spent a second talking about, thinking about or reading about beavers that I didn't enjoy.” — Joe Getty [46:13]
Style & Tone
Jack and Joe debate with good-humored sarcasm and undiluted authenticity, shifting fluidly between major world events, literature, and the silly side of daily life. Their banter often opens into deeper reflections on technology, geopolitics, and culture, always with underlying wit and skepticism.
For First-Time Listeners
This episode showcases Armstrong & Getty’s talent for making heavy news and offbeat stories equally compelling. From Ukraine to TikTok beefs and Utah beavers, the hosts reveal how even the oddest stories can prompt deeper questions about society, technology, and what it means to live in the modern world.
Note:
Content summary skips all ads, station promotion, intros/outros, and non-content sections.