Armstrong & Getty On Demand
Episode: Shell Them Until The Penguins Bounce
Date: January 21, 2026
Host: iHeartPodcasts
Episode Overview
In this episode, Armstrong and Getty dive into the political standoff around President Trump’s provocative statements about seizing Greenland, the subsequent international uproar, and the art (or chaos) of Trumpian negotiation. They also explore the hesitance of Democratic politicians to answer direct questions on transgender issues, and discuss broader progressive and moderate divides in American politics. The show’s signature style is a lively blend of satire, sharp commentary, and thought-provoking analogies, keeping the serious topics relatable and engaging.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Greenland ‘Crisis’ and Trump’s Negotiation Style
[00:28-11:52]
- Davos Meetings: European officials view a crisis moment approaching, with critical meetings involving President Trump in Davos. Mark Carney is quoted: "this isn’t a transition, this is a rupture." ([00:28])
- Trump’s Rhetorical Strategy: The hosts discuss Trump’s maximalist approach—raising outlandish positions (e.g., annexing Greenland by force) as a hardline negotiating tactic, with no real expectation of following through.
- “He never takes anything off the table... presents the maximalist approach so you can ease back to the spot that he actually wanted as negotiation.” – Michael ([05:13])
- Media Sensationalism: There’s skepticism about whether European leaders treat this as a genuine crisis or media hype.
- Military Fallout Hypothetical:
- Tom Rogan’s scenario: A forced Greenland seizure would provoke mass resignations among U.S. military leadership and destroy Trump’s political capital. Congressional action would swiftly block such moves ([02:46-04:31]).
- “I think all the Joint Chiefs would resign. I think you’d see 75 generals resign…” – Joe Getty ([03:17])
- International Law: Reminder that the U.S. is bound by NATO and UN charters, making any such action illegal and impeachable ([06:45]).
- Metaphors for Negotiation: The hosts liken Trump’s tactics to extreme bargaining, suggesting real-world diplomatic stakes make this a risky strategy ([10:16]).
2. The Farcical End to the 'Greenland Crisis'
[09:04-14:29]
- Trump’s “Walk Back”: After international furor, Trump publicly claims the U.S. won’t use force to annex Greenland, putting the crisis to rest.
- “He just said... the United States won’t use force to take Greenland, repeating that control of it was necessary for national international security.” – Michael ([08:20-09:04])
- Comedic Relief:
- “Michael’s worried about being drafted… up to age 50, to bring men over to fight in Greenland.” – Joe Getty, satirizing the hyperbole ([09:13-09:26])
- European Perspective: The real-world alliances and public sentiment can’t simply ignore Trump’s rhetoric, no matter how performative ([09:26-11:44]).
- Negotiation as Domestic Argument: They mockingly compare these tactics to an exaggerated domestic dispute:
- “If we don’t go to my parents house for Thanksgiving… I’m going to divorce you…” – Michael ([10:16])
- “Something in between. Ish.” – Joe Getty notes there’s a rational middle ground ([11:44])
3. International Reactions and Online Mockery
[11:52-14:31]
- Piers Morgan’s Suggestion: British journalist suggests EU soccer teams boycott the World Cup in protest; responses highlight how little Americans care about international soccer, with several quips from “Cat Turd” and others.
- “The only thing worse that could happen to American men is if Piers Morgan threatened to cancel a season of the WNBA.” ([13:23])
- Alliances as Friendships: Armstrong and Getty extend the metaphor, saying alliances are like friends who sometimes don’t bring enough to the party—but you still work together ([14:22]).
4. Betting on Politics & Ethics of Prediction Markets
[15:10-16:39]
- Polymarket and Political Betting: The discussion turns to prediction markets, where some users clearly benefit from inside information, raising concerns about legality and fairness.
- “Taylor Swift’s gynecologist is going to put a bet on when the baby’s coming…” – Michael ([16:18])
5. Democratic Evasions on Transgender Issues
[17:08-26:54]
- Democratic Candidate Silence: Axios survey of 2028 Democratic hopefuls finds most refuse to answer “Can a man become a woman?”, with Rahm Emanuel as the lone “No” ([18:53]).
- “Take a position and just defend it.” – Chris Solisa, quoted approvingly by the hosts ([22:09])
- Gavin Newsom Dodges: Extended audio parody of California Governor Newsom’s rambling replies on the issue ([19:05–20:44]).
- Progressive Worldview: Critical analysis of the progressive mindset; refusal to address such questions is seen as rooted in a belief that opposition comes only from bigotry or ignorance ([23:09–26:54]).
- “We are the moral vanguard, and opposition to our program stems from bigotry, ignorance, or malice.” – Quinn Q, via Joe Getty ([25:31])
6. Broader Progressive-Moderate Divide
[32:54–36:05]
- Attitudes Toward Bedrock Institutions: Discussion on how many progressives regard foundational concepts—citizenship, parental authority, consequences of rapid demographic change, merit, and social binaries—as “morally wrong.”
- “These are not far-right positions... their baseline assumptions held by the overwhelming majority...” – Joe Getty ([34:12])
- Debate Wish-List: Armstrong and Getty wish presidential debates would tackle these fundamental—yet often ignored—questions head-on ([35:06]).
7. Lighter Moments and Running Gags
Interspersed
- “Shell Them Until the Penguins Bounce” – The episode title is referenced in jest about unlikely U.S. military actions in Greenland.
- Draft Anxiety: Ongoing jokes about Michael being called up to fight in Greenland ([09:13], [36:05]).
- Fat Jokes & Penis References: Brief, edgy lampooning of Illinois governor JB Pritzker ([17:11–17:26]).
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- On Trump’s Approach:
"That lay waste and leave bloody lips and resentment and bitter tears on the trail to the negotiated settlement. That works fine if you're building New Jersey casinos, but it's not good when you have allies who are spending blood to support you.”
— Joe Getty ([05:47]) - On Congressional Response:
“Mr. Trump would extinguish his political capital in a single moment... Congress would likely move immediately to block funding or otherwise restrict the use of military force.”
— Paraphrasing Tom Rogan ([04:07]) - On Progressive Moral Certitude:
“We are the moral vanguard, and opposition to our program stems from bigotry, ignorance, or malice.”
— Quinn Q, via Joe Getty ([25:31]) - On Transgender Question Evasion:
"Pathetic. Take a position and just defend it."
— Chris Solisa ([22:09]) - On Prediction Markets:
“Taylor Swift's gynecologist is going to put a bet on when the the baby's coming and make a bunch of money and delete it. Delete the account.”
— Michael ([16:18])
Timestamps for Important Segments
- 00:28–08:15 – Breakdown of “crisis” at Davos; Trump’s negotiation style
- 08:20–14:31 – Trump walks back; international and social media reactions; soccer as leverage
- 15:10–16:39 – Betting on political outcomes, ethics, and inside knowledge
- 17:08–26:54 – Transgender policy question evasions by Democrats
- 32:54–36:05 – Critique of progressive worldview and mainstream beliefs
Tone & Style
The Armstrong & Getty Show delivers its political and cultural commentary with a distinct blend of wit, skepticism, and irreverence. The hosts balance satire with earnest discussion, using vivid analogies and personal anecdotes to break down complex or absurd news cycles for their audience. There is frequent banter and self-deprecation, and even the weightiest topics are filtered through the duo’s unique comedic perspective.
This summary covers all substantive content, skipping ads and housekeeping. For listeners seeking the full depth, humor, and strong opinions of the show, this episode provides both sharp analysis and comic relief on some of the week’s most pressing (and bizarre) headlines.