Armstrong & Getty On Demand — "Shut Up Coo Coo Bird"
Host: Jack Armstrong & Joe Getty
Date: February 13, 2026
Main Theme:
A fast-paced, wry look at Valentine's Day cynicism, AI-generated relationships, the Epstein scandal files and what they reveal about ruling elites, US military posturing in the Middle East, and hypocrisy at elite universities. The episode blends humor, cultural commentary, and sharp political insight in Armstrong & Getty’s signature bantering style.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Valentine's Day Skepticism & “Love” in Modern Times
Summary:
- Both hosts agree Valentine’s Day is overrated and often meaningless for long-term couples.
- They joke about how only couples with dysfunctional relationships seem to take the holiday seriously.
- They delve into recent studies about how rarely people experience true, passionate love.
Notable Quotes & Timestamps:
- Joe Getty [03:33]: “I have never known personally a long term successful couple who took valentine's day seriously... I have a pretty good sample set.”
- Jack Armstrong [04:01]: “Every year you say that or I say that and we get one or two emails from people saying hey I gotta disagree... but the fact that we might get one disagreeing kind of proves the point.”
Key Stats:
- Study says most people only fall in passionate love once or twice in a lifetime.
- 30% report falling in love exactly twice; 28% just once; only 14% have never experienced that kind of love.
Memorable Observations:
- Armstrong likens frequent “great loves” to unnecessary heartbreak.
- Getty wonders if perceptions change as people age and become wiser about what love “really” is.
Timestamps:
- Main Valentine’s discussion: [03:33]–[04:55]
- Love statistics conversation: [09:51]–[14:06]
2. AI Relationships & Gen Z “Aicels”
Summary:
- Discussion of the trend where people (especially Gen Z) form emotional bonds with AI “partners”.
- Analysis of survey statistics that most young people would consider marrying an AI companion if it were legal.
- Armstrong & Getty express alarm and satire at these developments, imagining absurd scenarios like deer falling in love with iPads.
Notable Quotes & Timestamps:
- Joe Getty [06:36]: “70% of Zoomers...would marry their AI partner if it were legal. That's incredibly sad. Shut up, cuckoo bird.”
- Jack Armstrong [08:09]: “If deer stopped reproducing but then if you saw a buck in the woods with an iPad trying to hump it, then you would think things are really off the rails.”
Armsrong's Satirical Solution:
- Proposes a “nature sex camp” to get young people interacting and pairing up in real life again.
- Jack Armstrong [09:20]: “I'm gonna run these camps for young people...get comfortable communicating, then after four five six days of this we're gonna have some beers and...get with each other.”
Timestamps:
- Introduction to “Aicels”: [05:14]–[08:36]
- Nature camp satire: [08:36]–[09:51]
3. Epstein Files & the Rot of the Ruling Class
Summary:
- Deep dive into the recent release of Epstein files and what they reveal about global elites.
- Focus on how powerful people in politics, academia, Wall Street, and show biz enabled and benefited from association with Epstein.
- Critique of elite hypocrisy, especially at Ivy League universities like Columbia, which bent rules for Epstein’s girlfriends even after his conviction.
Notable Quotes & Timestamps:
- Joe Getty (quoting NYT, Robert Draper) [22:35]: “The documents lay bare the once furtive activities of an unaccountable elite, largely made up of rich and powerful men from business, politics, academia, and show business...all because [Epstein] had things to offer them—money, connections, sumptuous dinner parties, a private plane, a secluded island, and in some cases sex.”
- Jack Armstrong [24:17]: “Columbia University fired some of their administration...after Epstein files revealed the Ivy League school admitted the child sex trafficker's girlfriend through irregular admissions...for Epstein. And this is after his conviction, right?”
- Jack Armstrong [35:12]: “A lot of those claims about equity and microaggressions and everything are fake. They know they're fake. It is weapons of capture, weapons of takeover of institutions...call people racists until they give you power.”
Key Threads:
- Elite universities’ hypocrisy in admitting the unqualified through favors/donations.
- Media and political spin on who’s implicated in the Epstein files—many more high-profile Democrats and left-leaning figures than “MAGA” types.
- The files illustrate how the wealthy and connected operate by different rules ("they laugh at the law").
Timestamps:
- Elite manipulation in Epstein files: [21:37]–[37:07]
4. U.S. Military Maneuvers & Middle East Dynamics
Summary:
- Reports of U.S. Navy ships conducting challenging maneuvers near the Persian Gulf, as tension with Iran rises.
- The USS Gerald R. Ford is deployed alongside other carriers, signaling a possible military build-up.
- Discussion of fracturing alliances in the Gulf, particularly a feud between Saudi Arabia (MBS) and the UAE (MBZ), which could have significant implications for U.S. strategy.
Notable Quotes & Timestamps:
- Jack Armstrong [41:07]: [On Navy ships colliding during exercises:] “It sounds more like some really high skilled delicate training that's not easy to do...why is that happening? Is that how close we are to actual kinetic action?”
- Joe Getty [44:43]: “All you have is temporary friends in the Middle East. Learn that. Know that.”
- Jack Armstrong [45:40]: [Satirizing the Gulf monarch feud:] "You got sand, he's got sand. You've got oil and trillions of dollars in reserves, he's got oil and trillions of dollars in reserves...can we all get along?”
Timestamps:
- Naval maneuvers & Gulf dynamics: [41:07]–[46:32]
5. Populist Anger, Political Rot & Painfully Exclusive Elites
Summary:
- Commentary on rising populist anger in the U.S. and other Western democracies, with establishment parties losing faith and upstart movements gaining ground.
- Discussion of how the Epstein scandal and university admissions further fuel public cynicism toward elites.
Notable Quotes & Timestamps:
- Joe Getty [35:56]: “Combined with their new grading score...the whole elite university thing I always hated it just kind of somewhat reflexively because they wouldn't have me...but the fact that you're beneath me, you're actually beneath me, not above me is really really maddening.”
- Jack Armstrong [36:17]: [Re: unremarkable but connected people at elite schools:] “Her daddy was rich and wrote checks. This person ended up going to jail for getting their kid into fancy universities by writing checks.”
Timestamps:
- On the rot and hypocrisy of elites: [35:12]–[37:32]
Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes
- “Shut up cuckoo bird, I'm sorry, that was uncharitable...” - Jack Armstrong [06:55], reacting to AI-relationship statistics.
- “You whip dissidents, he cuts off their arms—there's plenty of common ground.” - Jack Armstrong [45:57], lampooning Middle East leaders.
- “Columbia...letting his unqualified girlfriend into college. I mean how do you get to lecture anybody about anything after that?” - Joe Getty [30:54], on elite hypocrisy.
Segment Timestamps Guide
| Topic | Start | End | |--------------------------------------|-----------|-----------| | Valentine's & True Love | 03:33 | 14:06 | | AI Relationships & "Aicels" | 05:14 | 09:51 | | Epstein Files & Elite Corruption | 21:37 | 37:07 | | US Navy, Middle East Tensions | 41:07 | 46:32 | | Gulf Rulers, Global Elites Satire | 44:43 | 46:32 |
Tone & Style
Armstrong & Getty’s banter is cynical, playful, and occasionally biting. They blend mockery, satire, and skepticism with substantive political and cultural observations, aiming squarely at the hypocrisy and absurdity of modern elites, both in government and culture. The episode is laced with quotable one-liners, statistical tidbits, and authentic “everyman” insights.
This summary covers all major content and conversational highlights, offering a thorough overview for anyone who missed the episode.