Shut Up You Bonehead

Summary

Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: "Shut Up You Bonehead"

Date: October 14, 2025

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Overview

In this episode, Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty deliver their signature blend of punchy political commentary, observational humor, and media critique. The show covers a range of topics, including a satirical look at California politics (especially Governor Gavin Newsom), reflections on Columbus Day vs. Indigenous Peoples Day, a comedic Trump impression, mainstream media oddities, Alec Baldwin’s latest mishap, and a nod to offbeat relationship trends and political hypocrisy. The conversation is fast-paced, laced with memorable quips and banter, and centers on skepticism toward establishment narratives and cultural trends.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Gavin Newsom: The "Leading Presidential Candidate" and California Politics

• Armstrong and Getty dissect Gavin Newsom’s political career, decisions during COVID, and public persona, with particular scorn for his crisis management and financial stewardship.
  • Critique of Newsom’s shift from surplus to deficit: "Gavin and his party managed to turn a $98 billion surplus into a $32 billion deficit. Oh, great. Gavin Newsom." (Joe Getty, 01:19)
• They cite columnist Katie Grimes (California Globe) and her argument that California's one-party system rewards lack of quality in politicians, placing Newsom among "dangerous Democratic politicians" who've "failed up."
• Extended banter features a vintage Newsom interview with CBS’s Hank Platt, showcasing an earlier, less-polished Newsom dodging accountability.
  • “He sounds like someone who's bad at that sort of thing, didn't he?” (Jack, 04:08)
  • “You know, that's enough. There was one that was really enjoyable. ... He just couldn't stop.” (Joe, 05:38)

Notable Segment

• [03:33–06:16]: A play-by-play of Newsom’s squirmy press interactions – both hosts mock Newsom's tendency to avoid direct answers and his self-defensiveness in crisis.

• They predict Newsom would struggle in national politics, comparing him unfavorably to more battle-tested figures.

  • “You're not elected for being capable. ... You're elected rather for being a prostitute for labor unions and tri lawyers in the Democratic Party.” (Joe Getty, 06:18)

2. Presidential Politics and the "Woke Vote"

• Speculation on Democratic primary drama:

  • Discussion of Kamala Harris possibly running against Newsom and her vocal opposition to "Columbus Day".
  • Joe: “Let them all fight it out for the woke vote.” (07:22)
  • Jack: “I have a feeling they're going to get trounced by somebody who shuns the woke vote.” (07:29)

• Playful aside about who could beat Newsom, including a sarcastic mention of Rahm Emanuel.

3. Comedy and Satire: Columbus Day, Trump Impression, and Mainstream Media

• Trump Impression by Sean Farage: Over-the-top Columbus Day message lampooning both Trump’s style and current political debates.

  • “Michael, this is your favorite president, or as they call me, Chief Golden Eagle… And I wanted to wish you a very happy Columbus Day. But the radical left wing crazy Democrats want to call it Indigenous Peoples Day…” (Sean Farage as Trump, 07:48–09:09)

• Hosts revel in the impersonator’s skill, pointing out: “You know, one of the reasons it's so funny is it's just like it's only one click off of could be real.” (Jack, 09:09)

Notable Segment

• [07:48–09:14]: Extended, comedic "Trump" riff on Columbus Day, political enemies, and media narratives.

4. Analysis of Trump's Diplomatic Style and the Media

• Discussion on a Mark Halperin newsletter dissecting “the seven skills” that helped Trump broker Middle East agreements.
• The hosts agree Trump’s “ego reading” and unpredictability constitute a genuine advantage in global politics.
  • “Trump reads egos like a briefing book. He reads people, not policy memos. The Middle east runs on face and pride and Trump is fluent in both.” (Halperin, quoted by Jack, 12:36)
• They reflect on showmanship in diplomacy and how Trump shapes media narratives to his advantage.
  • “If you can make the world stop scrolling for 12 seconds, you've already negotiated half the deal.” (Halperin, quoted by Jack, 15:34)

Notable Segment

• [11:44–17:36]: Mark Halperin’s seven points on Trump; comparisons between Trump’s Middle East success and his unsuccessful approach with Russia.

5. Cultural Trends, Relationship Norms, and Media Bias

• Mockery of mainstream coverage normalizing “aberrant” relationship types (lavender marriages, throuples, polycules).
  • “Seriously, one out of how many thousand married couples in Gen Z are in a throuple? 1 in 50,000. 1 in 150,000.” (Joe, 36:07)
• Media hypocrisy: Calling out CNN for contradictory takes on health care for undocumented immigrants depending on who's in office (32:26–33:47).

6. Columbus Day, Kamala Harris, and Historical Revisionism

• Kamala Harris’s Indigenous Peoples Day speech prompts frustration:
  • “How freaking annoying was that counterpoint?” (Jack, 23:03)
  • Joe: “Shut up, bonehead. When she goes into sanctimonious mode, I mean, that's when she's at her most off putting to me.” (23:08)
• Spirited, historical argument about people “discovering” land, conquest being universal, and the limitations of land acknowledgments.
  • “Do you have a land acknowledgment going back to the tribe that got … wiped out? Where do you stop? What is. Again, what is the point?” (Jack, 26:03)

Notable Segment

• [22:04–27:02]: Kamala’s speech, and Armstrong & Getty’s extended, exasperated rebuttal of performative historical guilt in US politics.

7. Odd News, Pop Culture, and Alec Baldwin

• Brief bits: Gold panning boom in California driven by record prices; the Chicago marathon's risky reputation.

  • “It's the only race where the starter pistol gets return fire.” (Joe, 19:26)

• Alec Baldwin’s Instagrammed car accident story, with the hosts riffing on his career, financial state, reality TV, and his “fake Spaniard” wife.

  • “He just couldn't stop shooting members of movie crews?” (Jack, 29:28)

8. Senator Chris Murphy and Political Hypocrisy

• Clip of Sen. Murphy (D-CT) being confronted for past shutdown statements:
  • Joe: “Whatever you weasel. A talking weasel. How they teach a weasel to talk. That’s amazing.” (Joe, 32:04)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Newsom’s Political Fortunes
  "You're not elected for being capable… You're elected rather for being a prostitute for labor unions and tri lawyers in the Democratic Party. Yeah, I'd use a stronger word, but I'm a gentleman."
  — Joe Getty (06:18)

• On The Trump Impression:
  “You know, one of the reasons it's so funny is it's just like it's only one click off of could be real.”
  — Jack Armstrong (09:09)

• On Kamala Harris’s Historical Rhetoric:
  “Shut up, bonehead. When she goes into sanctimonious mode, I mean, that's when she’s at her most off-putting to me.”
  — Joe Getty (23:08)

• On Modern Relationship Coverage:
  “Seriously, one out of how many thousand married couples in Gen Z are in a throuple? 1 in 50,000. 1 in 150,000.”
  — Joe Getty (36:07)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:34] – Tennessee woman gives birth to 13 lb baby (opening banter)
• [00:48–06:55] – Gavin Newsom roast: COVID response, personal scandals, media interactions
• [07:00–10:11] – Democratic infighting, Kamala Harris, and Columbus Day riffs
• [07:48–09:14] – Sean Farage’s Trump impression, Columbus/Indigenous Peoples Day
• [11:44–17:36] – Trump’s Middle East performance, Halperin’s analysis, spectacle in politics
• [19:26] – Chicago marathon joke
• [20:13] – Surging gold prices, gold panning in California
• [22:04–27:02] – Kamala’s Indigenous Peoples Day speech, hosts’ critical response, land acknowledgments
• [27:19–29:42] – Alec Baldwin’s car accident, family, and reality TV
• [30:54–32:10] – Senator Chris Murphy called out for shutdown flip-flop
• [32:26–36:50] – CNN fact checks, media bias, coverage of “aberrant” relationships
• [37:13–38:36] – Final thoughts, with a baseball rules aside and Halloween mannequin advice

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Tone & Style

The conversation is irreverent, sardonic, and lively, with quick pivots between serious analysis and sharp comedic asides. Armstrong and Getty maintain their contrarian posture, lampoon political figures, and expose perceived hypocrisy in politics and the media. They ground their humor in current cultural phenomena, often expressing exasperation at the latest trends or “wokeness” in public discourse.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a classic Armstrong & Getty showcase: satirical, conversational, and heavy on skepticism toward institutional power, whether in politics, media, or culture. Whether discussing Gavin Newsom, Kamala Harris, or the New York Times’ coverage of “polycules,” Jack and Joe keep the energy high and the jokes coming, with sharp cultural commentary threaded throughout.

Transcript

[Jack Armstrong]

This is an iHeart podcast broadcasting live from the Abraham Lincoln radio studio at.

[Commercial Announcer]

The George Washington Broadcast Center. Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty.

[Jack Armstrong]

Armstrong and Getty. And now here's Armstrong and Getty. A woman in Tennessee broke a hospital.

[Joe Getty]

Record after giving birth to a £13 baby.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's the first baby to ever bust.

[Joe Getty]

Out saying oh yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

Wow. Oh yeah.

[Joe Getty]

Hey, Kool Aid, bring on my life. So let's talk for a moment or two about leading presidential candidate Gavin Newsome. Gavin Newsom, the first US governor to lock down his state of 40 million people at the beginning of COVID ordered home confinement mandatory masking, ridiculous social distancing, closed schools and kept him closed, had.

[Jack Armstrong]

Sex with his best friend's wife. One that's a personal story.

[Joe Getty]

That's human.

[Jack Armstrong]

That's got nothing to do with fall short sometimes. That's got nothing to do with governing. I shouldn't bring that up.

[Joe Getty]

Gavin and his party managed to turn a $98 billion surplus into a $32 billion deficit. Oh, great. Gavin Newsom. Our friend Katie Grimes of the California Globe, writing about Newsom, says California breeds disastrous and dangerous Democratic politicians. Here's a short list, and she lists a bunch of folks. Most of these Democrats in a politically well balanced state couldn't get elected as city cemetery trustee or mosquito controlled district board member. Majority of them have failed up in California's one party state.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yes, cemetery trustee. I wonder what the responsibilities are there.

[Joe Getty]

Got to keep it mowed, I guess, and you know, make sure people don't.

[Jack Armstrong]

Speed through it, unlock the gate in the morning, close it at night. Right.

[Joe Getty]

Mostly. That's most of it anyway. A majority of them have failed up in California's one party state where excellence, brilliance, expertise, virtue and common sense are shunned, not required for the job of governing, lawmaking and diplomacy. Democrats get elected as card carrying, water carrying, useful idiots for special interest groups, labor unions, environmental justice, tri lawyers, the national Democratic Party and a myriad of other activist organizations. Many of them cut their teeth as community organizers, the fake grifting profession made infamous by Barack Obama. But she's I don't know if that's fair. She's leading up to an analysis of the bitter, mean as a snake, angry Katie Porter. And she points out that Gavin Newsom himself has had a similar history. But Gavin was lucky because when a lot of what we're about to play happened, the Internet and memes and virality hadn't gotten to where it is right now. And so Gavi is. He's a little different. He's A little slicker, a little more reserved than Katie Porter, but he is a male. Katie Porter. This is Newsom being questioned gently and gentlemanly by CBS News reporter Hank Platt in the Bay Area. Michael, we'll start with 30.

[Jack Armstrong]

Mr. Mayor, good to see you. Let me start by asking you, where have you been?

[Gavin Newsom]

$522.2 million shortfall. Last year, we had a 570.

[Jack Armstrong]

Wait a minute.

[Gavin Newsom]

Wait a minute, Hank, I'm here to talk about tomorrow, today and tomorrow now. Yesterday, I've been working my tail off. I've been out. I think I had 69 public events in the last two and a half weeks.

[Jack Armstrong]

You know, I heard you say that on the radio today, and then I asked your staff, well, where's the printout? Where are these events? And. And your press person said, well, this is stuff he just goes to.

[Gavin Newsom]

Yeah, these are all public events. Yeah, so.

[Jack Armstrong]

So that's interesting. He's obviously way better than he was back then. That's kind of like listening to tapes of me when I was on the radio when I was much younger. You know, I was. Was not a good at it. It's. It. He sounds like someone who's bad at that sort of thing, didn't he?

[Joe Getty]

But there's more.

[Jack Armstrong]

But. But look, you know the criticism that you have been dodging, not just the press, but also the public, that you have been sulking after dropping out of the governor's race, that you're having a temper tantrum.

[Gavin Newsom]

What do you want to say about it? I want to say that I've been working my tail off. I've been here focused in San Francisco, I think I was gone two days out of the city. In the last three weeks, we've done 69 public events. I've been as engaged or more engaged than ever. I don't read the press. It is comical some of the things that have been written.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, yeah, the press is too hard on Democrats in California. That's just beautiful. All right, let's enjoy one more of Newsom v. Platt 33.

[Gavin Newsom]

Michael, I don't know where you come up with this. And it sort of misleads people and creates a sense of something that really doesn't exist. And so it's unfortunate, but again, but.

[Jack Armstrong]

That is exactly what happened. Mr. Mayor, the press secretary, he made misinformation to the president and then he resigned.

[Gavin Newsom]

Yes. Yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

Curiously, he resigned after this. Yeah.

[Gavin Newsom]

I don't know that this is much. This is much to do about nothing. My chief of staff was aware to the extent that my Chief of staff apparently that morning didn't communicate.

[Joe Getty]

You know, that's enough. There was one that, that was really enjoyable. It's where the same reporter was asking him questions and Gabby would blast him and walk away, then like turn and blast back again, then walk down a set of stairs and then continue the conversation. He just couldn't stop.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, you are right that if it seems confrontational, taking in local media in San Francisco, when you're the Democratic mayor of San Francisco, wait till you get out into the rest of the country.

[Joe Getty]

Right. Right now. You're right because Gavin has improved his game to some extent. But because that was weak.

[Jack Armstrong]

That was really horrible.

[Joe Getty]

Oh yeah, it's, it's, it's all inter squad scrimmaging in California because again, you're, you're not elected for being capable. You're intellected for being. You're elected rather for being a prostitute for labor unions and tri lawyers in the Democratic Party. Yeah, I'd use a stronger word, but I'm a gentleman.

[Jack Armstrong]

Exchanging sex for money. Goods.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, exactly. Exchanging governance for money. Yeah, they're absolutely the prostitutes of those special interests. But yeah, when he gets like serious questioning at the national level, I'm telling you, he's gonna, he's gonna disappear like, you know, like a number of other governors who thought they had the chops. He does not.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, it'll be fun to watch. I hope it happens.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, I hope so too. Yeah. If he makes it that far.

[Jack Armstrong]

I didn't know if we needed to do this or not, so I haven't dug it up yesterday, but I came across a clip of Kamala Harris who could be running and gets Gavin for the nomination. Her spiel about what's so awful about Columbus from a couple of years ago. Oh my God.

[Joe Getty]

Is just that whole, that whole world.

[Jack Armstrong]

So let them all fight it out for.

[Joe Getty]

For the woke vote.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, for the woke vote. Exactly.

[Joe Getty]

Rapidly vanishing woke vote.

[Jack Armstrong]

I have a feeling.

[Joe Getty]

Columbus Day.

[Jack Armstrong]

I have a feeling they're going to get trounced by somebody who is. Who shuns the woke vote. I think what's going to happen.

[Joe Getty]

I hope that's Rahm Emanuel.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

Who can mop up the floor with Gavin Newsom. How good is our friend Sean Farage, the Trump imitator there, Katie? Pretty strong, huh?

[Jack Armstrong]

Awesome.

[Joe Getty]

Speaking of Columbus Day, let's enjoy this together. 13.

[Donald Trump]

Michael, this is your favorite president, or as they call me, Chief Golden Eagle. And I wanted to wish you a very happy Columbus Day. But the radical left wing crazy Democrats want to call it indigenous Peoples Day. And I get along very well with the indigenous people. They love me. They call me Chief Golden Eagle. They say, chief, what are we going to do about these crazy radical left wing Democrats like lie in Liz Warren? I call her Pocahontas. She's a horrible person and a loser and the only woman who has ever failed a DNA test. Nobody ever thought that was possible, but she failed a DNA test. What a disgrace. Jiggly Belly Pritzker. I call him Chief Eats Too Much Chief Broken Scale. Every scale he steps on says, ouch, you're hurting me. Please get off. El Hakimo Chief Tiny Tipi. He has a very small tp. I have a huge tp. Everybody knows about it, but we are sending out an executive order via smoke signal commemorating today as Columbus Day. We're making it Columbus Day again celebrating my tremendous friend Christopher Columbus and all of his incredible achievements. So happy Columbus Day. God bless you, God bless America and thank you for your attention to this matter.

[Jack Armstrong]

You know, one of the reasons it's so funny is it's just like it's only one click off of could be real.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, it's funny.

[Jack Armstrong]

For instance, I've got this truth social post of Donald Trump today. So I don't know if you saw he was on the COVID of Time magazine. Okay, say what you always say.

[Joe Getty]

What's a magazine?

[Jack Armstrong]

A website that they print on paper for some reason, Time magazine used to be a really big deal and to be on the COVID of it was always, you know, something people wanted to do. He's on the COVID of it today and Trump just put out this post. Time magazine wrote a relatively good story about me, but the picture may be the worst of all time. They disappeared my hair and then had something floating on top of my head that looked like a floating crown, but an extremely small one. Really weird. I never liked taking pictures from underneath angles, but this is a super bad picture and deserves to be called out. What are they doing and why? That's from the President of the United States and all the things he's got to do. Commenting on the picture on the COVID of Time magazine, which no one will see. Well, right.

[Joe Getty]

He's. And now I'm off to try to bring peace to Ukraine. Yeah, you know, that's a classic example of why bother. Nobody cares about Time.com but that's Trump being Trump.

[Jack Armstrong]

More serious Trump analysis from Mark Halpern's newsletter today about why and how Trump got the whole Middle east thing to come together. That's pretty danged interesting. I think from a, I don't know, geopolitical, political science sort of standpoint and a whole bunch of other stuff on the way. Stay here.

[Joe Getty]

Armstrong and Getty.

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[Jack Armstrong]

Thank you very much. God bless you. God bless the United States of America and God bless the Middle East. Thank you everybody. Good luck. Thank you very much. Thank you. Was that the high point maybe of Trump's life yesterday? Standing there in front of the government of Israel, people chanting Trump inside the hall, outside in Israel, in Gaza, getting believe it is credit from Barack Obama, Kamala Harris, Hillary Clinton, Joe Scarborough and everybody middle and right. Might be the high point of his entire career so far. Mark Halpern writing about it today. If you're a Trump fan, you're going to like this. If you're not a Trump fan, I think you have to at least respect some of the points he makes here. Strip away the theater and you find not luck, not bluster, but skills from Donald Trump. Seven of them in fact. I won't go through all the skills he lists. It's the Apprentice Abram Accords edition. Except. Except this time the guy who got fired was Hamas. So he goes through some of the skills here and I thought this one was really good. Trump reads egos like a briefing book. He reads people, not policy memos. The Middle east runs on face and pride and Trump is fluent in both. He knows who needs to be called visionary and who wants to look taller in the photo. He treats geopolitics like casting and always finds the actor willing to play himself. The Beltway calls it manipulation. Trump calls it literacy. I thought that was really good. That is probably very true that he is better at reading different people's personalities and what they need to feel good about themselves as opposed to, you know, policy memos blurring business and diplomacy. This can get very troublesome. And I'm sure we'll learn more about this in coming weeks, months and years. Critics say it's corruption. Trump views it as synergy. The man treats the globe like it's a zoned for mixed use. For him, capitalism and statecraft are cousins, both about perception, persuasion, and the art of walking away if needed. A diplomat promises. Trump proposes it's foreign policy with bottle service, and the check is always in another currency. I thought that was really good.

[Joe Getty]

Some fancy pants, right?

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, it does.

[Joe Getty]

As I listen to that, it occurs to me that if you were to talk about the. The results of successful diplomacy, peace, prosperity, life, et cetera, all of that's super great for business.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe Getty]

So they do go hand in hand in a way.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. He has a little thing here about how every insult against Trump becomes a protein shake that seems to make him stronger. That might be true. That is. That's what needs to be studied at the end of this all. How he. And he. He thrives on and stays confident in the face of just withering criticism. Wow. Anyway, tactical ambiguity, clarity is overrated. Trump is a poker player who wins by keeping you guessing. Let them think I might do it and then they call. The Saudis and Israelis learned that when Trump is in play, the game is his. Mystery sells. I think that's definitely true. Mastery and how.

[Joe Getty]

Well, yeah, I mean, weeks after the taco thing got, you know, picked up by various people and news outlets, Trump always chickens out. He bombs the Fordo plant. I'm hoping he surprises Vladimir Putin in a similar way, because there's been a real lack of pressure there. Yeah, but, yeah, uncertainty, you know, unpredictability.

[Jack Armstrong]

I have a comment on the whole Russia thing versus this thing in a second. But the last two talents that Trump seems to have, according to Mark Halpern today, mastery of spectacle. He knows the show is the statecraft, the lighting, the backdrop, the golden hour. Perfect. The headline becomes the history. If you can make the world stop scrolling for 12 seconds, you've already negotiated half the deal. That's pretty good. And then finally, this. Framing the story before the facts settle. He doesn't wait for historians. He dictates the chiron on the cable news. The man trademarked his narrative before the ink dried. He knows people remember how something felt, not what was said. It's not shallow. It's physics. He doesn't study Kissinger so much as he studies himself. The others read history, he rewrites it with one of his beloved Sharpies and all the applause today belong to him. I think he does understand that also. But to the Russia deal mentioned this quote that I heard over the weekend from I believe, poet writer George Bernard Shaw. But it was something along the lines of the two kinds of men, men who accept reality for what it is, accept facts for what they are and move on, or people who ignore reality and the facts and go forward anyway. And it's that second group that drives history. And I thought that was really interesting because that's exactly what Trump did, and he did it in both cases. It obviously wouldn't always work out to ignore facts and reality and just take a shot at it. It didn't with Russia and Ukraine, at least not that whole summit up in Alaska thing. Did all the stuff, all the stuff Halperin just talked about the, you know, ignoring policy papers and going, trying to read people, trying to read Putin, you know, the stagecraft with the, the carpet and the planes and everything like that. It didn't work in that case, in this case in the Middle east, it succeeded incredibly well.

[Joe Getty]

There's so much of conventional thinking that looks like facts, but it's like mannequin versions of facts in your, you know, your policy, your think tanks and your, you know, halls of academia and the rest of it. They act as if their conventional thinking must be and will always be. But if you just put it aside, sometimes it just goes away, it melts, it dissolves. Certainly has in this case, if this.

[Jack Armstrong]

Sticks, even sort of sticks, it is one of the biggest things that's happened in my lifetime.

[Joe Getty]

Oh yeah. Halfway there would be a miracle.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. Truly quite amazing. We got a lot more on the way. If you missed a segment, it's podcast. Armstrong and Getty on demand.

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[Joe Getty]

Yesterday was the big Chicago marathon. It's the only race where the starter pistol gets return fire.

[Jack Armstrong]

Chicago. That's pretty funny.

[Joe Getty]

That is funny.

[Jack Armstrong]

Just saw this headline before we get to something else. So gold has hit $4,000 an ounce record high. And looking for gold has become a hot thing. And we broadcast from Sacramento, California which if you remember your grade school history, gold was discovered at Sutter's Mill and that's what caused the gold rush that happened in 1848. And it the big rush came in 49. Thus the 49ers. But anyway, it's right here, near here where the gold was discovered.

[Joe Getty]

And they still think the Golden Gate Bridge.

[Jack Armstrong]

Of course there's still a fair amount of gold out there. They got this guy in this article, he was hiking up at Mount Shasta, which is northern, farther Northern California and he found a tiny little gold nugget. But at the current price of gold it was still worth 175 bucks. So he decided to start making that his hobby like really, really panning for gold. And lots of people are doing it right now and there's stores around here you can go buy gold panning stuff and. But it's, it's. The price of gold is so high. You don't need to find a whole lot to make your time.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, I remember when the drought was crazy bad and rivers were down to levels that they hadn't been in decades. People were finding gold because they could get, you know, way down deeper into the riverbeds. Cup of coffee.

[Jack Armstrong]

I just always picture myself like Daniel Day Lewis at the bottom of that mine shaft, my legs broken, trying to pull myself out.

[Joe Getty]

Could happen.

[Jack Armstrong]

Could happen. So yesterday was a Columbus Day. And it. Columbus Day is a dumb thing. And if you don't know the history of it, it was a. Was way back in the day. They wanted to make the Italians happy to get the Italian vote. And so then they made it a day. I mean it's honoring Columbus for discovering and I'm using my finger quotes. America is kind of weird.

[Joe Getty]

But it doesn't in the Bahamas. Right. A lot of people here already. So people had been here for tens.

[Jack Armstrong]

Of thousands of years. There were Major complex civilizations of all different kinds.

[Joe Getty]

It reminded Europeans that there was a lot of land this way, and it might be worth checking out. It was not nothing.

[Jack Armstrong]

No, no, no. It had a. A long as. As many people started coming this direction and being settled by Europe and all that sort of stuff. Which is what Kamala Harris wanted to point out in her little screed about Columbus Day.

[Kamala Harris]

It is an honor, of course, to be with you this week as we celebrate Indigenous Peoples Day as we speak truth about our Nation's history. Since 1934, every October, the United States has recognized the voyage of the European explorers who first landed on the shores of the Americas. But that is not the whole story. That has never been the whole story. Those explorers ushered in a wave of devastation for tribal nations, perpetrating violence, stealing land, and spreading disease. We must not shy away from this shameful past, and we must shed light on it and do everything we can to address the impact of the past on native communities today.

[Jack Armstrong]

How freaking annoying was that counterpoint?

[Joe Getty]

Shut up, bonehead. When she goes into sanctimonious mode, I mean, that's when she said her most off putting to me.

[Jack Armstrong]

Who is that for? And I know some people who dig that, but I just. I do not get what's the point of that. Is there a point other than just feeling bad? I just want to feel bad. I would just want to spend the day feeling bad that 400 years ago, one particular group of people started moving over to this landmass. Just like all the people from Africa and the Middle east that moved up to Europe and settled it, or the Mayans who moved north and took over those tribes land. I mean, what is the point of this, right?

[Joe Getty]

The only point is that hatred of one's own country and culture is the highest level of the lefty intellectual. You know, a pyramid. It's like you're a Scientologist. You hit that 11th Satan level or whatever, you get to see L. Ron Hubbard's, I don't know, sock drawer. It's very similar. Until you truly loathe your own people, you are not respected as a progressive.

[Jack Armstrong]

That's what happens. That's what Tom Cruise got to see, is he go in there and they show you L. Ron Hubbard's sock drawer?

[Joe Getty]

It's a paraphrase.

[Jack Armstrong]

I would be disappointed. I was hoping for more.

[Joe Getty]

You haven't seen the drawer.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's just so damned annoying. And so what, Kamala? And so what? So what? And what do you want me to do? Yeah, I know. And you think that that's not the way the entire globe was settled. Every bit of it. China. One group of Chinese got more powerful and moved north across China or south across China or whatever direction and took the land from the other Chinese that had been there before. It's the whole damned world.

[Joe Getty]

Well, and the very people she was talking about, specifically the, you know, Native American tribes, killed the hell out of each other, of course, each other in unspeakable ways.

[Jack Armstrong]

They were, in a word, savages. They were not as. Thanks. Thanks a lot to Christianity and civilization and the Enlightenment eventually, and all these different sorts of things. We weren't quite as brutal Western civilization as the native people that were here. Yeah, but even if it were the other way around, it's still. It's just the history of the world. What do you want to do? Get a different planet? I don't understand your point. It makes me so crazy. We need to speak truth to who, for what reason?

[Joe Getty]

And just, you know, you don't need to memorize this whole screen. Just remember the phrase. What about the people before that?

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, no kidding. That's the only stop in their tracks. What about the people before that? No kidding.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

I talked about this a couple of weeks ago. The very brief version, if you didn't hear it. My son was in his American history class and the teacher made him write a land acknowledgment before they started history class. And they had to write a land acknowledgment saying, we recognize that we are learning American history on the land that once belonged to the. Starts with a P. Pat Twain Indian tribe or something like that. Anyway, our friend Tim Sandifer, who's really into the California history and this sort of stuff hit me with a bunch of research on how that tribe had taken the land from previous tribes and the awful things they had done to him. I mean, you talk about genocide, that's what those tribes would do, or, you know, different kinds of Indians that would come upon land, just wipe out, kill all the women and children, enslave the men. That's what they did over and over again. So do you have a land acknowledgement going back to the tribe that got, you know, was on the wrong end of a genocide or the group before that that probably was on the wrong end of the genocide from that group. I mean, where do you stop? What is. Again, what is the point? What are we doing here?

[Joe Getty]

And then perhaps the world's greatest comedians are the descendants of these Spanish conquistadors who claim that America's settler colonialists and how we didn't cross the border. The border crossed us. You people are hilarious. Absolutely. You're killing me.

[Jack Armstrong]

I'll tell you what's not funny. This story guy cut me off in a truck. A garbage truck. I made a garbage truck the size of a whale. I've never seen a garbage truck. It must have been something commercial for like taking away material from construction or something. It was the biggest garbage truck I've ever seen. To avoid hitting him, I. I hit a tree. I hit a big fat tree and crushed my car. My wife's car. I crushed my wife's car. I feel bad about that. That's all fine. And I'm fine. And my brother's fine. Yeah. So that's Alec Baldwin who had his untalented brother, Stephen Baldwin in the passenger.

[Joe Getty]

Seat, who avoided a hang in, hang, hang on. The usual suspects, Right?

[Jack Armstrong]

Okay, so not completely untalented, but yeah, he's a, he's a poor man's Alec Baldwin, I'll tell you that.

[Joe Getty]

Fair enough. We can, we can agree.

[Jack Armstrong]

Alec Baldwin trying to avoid a garbage truck.

[Joe Getty]

Very, very.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's funny. You did trump so many years on Saturday Night Live. You talk like him now. Biggest garbage truck I've ever seen. I've never seen a garbage truck so big.

[Joe Getty]

As big as whale. And I hit a tree, A big fat tree as big as an elephant.

[Jack Armstrong]

In my wife's car. I feel bad about that.

[Joe Getty]

His fake Spaniard wife.

[Commercial Announcer]

No, when I'm talking, you're not talking.

[Jack Armstrong]

That's his fake Spaniard wife there. Say that again, Michael.

[Commercial Announcer]

No, when I'm talking, you're not talking.

[Jack Armstrong]

So Alec Baldwin then feels that because he had crashed her Range Rover into a tree. I mean, and it's up against the tree with the hood all bent up. It's like a classic cartoon looking car wreck. And he, he's on the phone and he makes an Instagram post to try to. I don't know what, talk to his fans were worried about it. I don't know. I have no idea.

[Joe Getty]

Is it part of that idiotic reality show that they're doing for some reason?

[Jack Armstrong]

Is that still happening? If it is, that's absolutely what was going on there. Maybe he crashed the car into the tree for the reality show.

[Joe Getty]

Did he spend all of his money settling with crew members he shot or what? How is, how does he have. How does he, how does he need so much money that he's prostituting himself doing a stupid reality show?

[Jack Armstrong]

He just couldn't stop shooting members of movie crews?

[Joe Getty]

I don't know, maybe he got used to the lifestyle he was living when he was drawing that 30 rock paycheck.

[Jack Armstrong]

He's got like eight kids.

[Joe Getty]

All of.

[Jack Armstrong]

Them with a fake Spaniard mom. Anywho, we're glad to know the bald ones, the talented ones and the untalented ones are okay. We will finish strong.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Joe Getty]

I was just about to introduce Margaret Brennan talking to Chris Murphy, senator from Connecticut. Is that right? Some questions about the shutdown, what he said about shutdowns in the past and off the air. Jack, hit me with some very exciting Chris Murphy news.

[Jack Armstrong]

I think it's Connecticut, one of those tiny northeast countries. Yeah. National Review considers him America's worst senator. And he's the worst of the bomb chuckers on the left in the US Senate, no doubt about it.

[Joe Getty]

Oh yeah, yeah. He is utterly without principle, a bad man. Here he is talking to Mags Brennan.

[Jack Armstrong]

You have been critical in the past.

[Joe Getty]

Of the tactic of choosing to shut down the government.

[Commercial Announcer]

You were in 2018. You were back in 2013 when it was a discussion over health care. This is what you said in 2018.

[Jack Armstrong]

The future of the American health care system was a legitimate public policy issue, as is the security of our borders. But we shouldn't be having the discussion amidst a government shutdown, trying to use our nation's security and all of these federal workers and the work that they do as hostages.

[Joe Getty]

Aren't you doing today exactly what you were criticizing then?

[Jack Armstrong]

No, that was a fight over sort of the long term.

[Joe Getty]

All right, whatever you weasel A talking weasel. How they teach a weasel to talk. That's amazing.

[Jack Armstrong]

So tiring. I could never be, I could never be a politician. The whole I would say to my boss, didn't we say the the same thing they're saying when it was our U.S. shut up.

[Joe Getty]

And he'd slap you. Wake up you child.

[Jack Armstrong]

Right, right.

[Joe Getty]

Speaking of the media, let's let's the media be clowns itself. Let's let them be clown themselves. Michael, play the theme music. Let's see in 2019, CNN actual headlines. Democrats want to offer health care to undocumented immigrants. Here's what that means now in 2025, a very important fact check from CNN. Fact check. TRUMP falsely claims Democrats want to give free health care to illegal aliens in government shutdown battle. CNN is threading the needle to say that Dems aren't asking for free health care for immigrants in this particular bill because it was in the bill that's ending now they want to continue. It gets muddy around state budgets. States saying they pay for this healthcare only with local dollars. But the feds say that's not true. We subsidize it all and have matching funds. Excuse me, funds for God's sake. And then this, this one's even better. Thanks for the fact check though. Cnn, you remember I brought you the story from the Washington Post last week about a 38 year old straight woman who's pregnant with a child she organically conceived with her gay husband. They live in Los Angeles, obviously are gluten free. They have turned their marriage into a career.

[Jack Armstrong]

What does organic mean in this sense?

[Joe Getty]

They, they did the horizontal bop.

[Jack Armstrong]

They had sex. She had sex with a gay man or gay man had sex with her?

[Joe Getty]

Her husband.

[Jack Armstrong]

Her husband who's gay.

[Joe Getty]

How dare you judge that. Yes, yes. It was a story about modern marriage and they picked up and tried to pretend like these so called lavender marriages are common. They saw a spiritual healer who told them they shared a spiritual umbilical cord. And then in a story that examined how. So here's the theme is how hard the mainstream media is trying to normalize all sorts of abnormal stuff in a story about how Gen Z couples are dealing with divorce. Seems like a reasonable premise for an article, right? Who does the New York Times feature? I will read to you in 2021. Kira Benson, a violinist living in Seattle knew it was time to get a divorce. But ending their two year lavender marriage wasn't an easy decision. But the musician had a supportive ally. If you have to dump your ex husband co dump him with his metro mistress. That's right. They were in a throuple before the breakup.

[Jack Armstrong]

But he's gay and has a mistress.

[Joe Getty]

So he's got two different couple. This is a totally different couple. This is a different outlet. I'm gonna ask you try to hang with me here.

[Jack Armstrong]

Okay?

[Joe Getty]

So this 27 year old Seattle violinist and her husband and her husband's mistress, who is in their throuple with them, checked in with their therapist who said a divorce would be a good choice. Out of queer solidarity, they informed their husband's mistress, which was not a legal marriage, but a domestic partnership, about their shared partner's troubling behavior on the night of the breakup. Mix Benson, who uses the pronoun, they and the mistress spent a cozy evening together. We were eating a lot of comfort food, playing a lot of Animal Crossing. What the f. That's in the New York Times article about how Gen Z is dealing with divorce.

[Jack Armstrong]

Right. A very aberrant doesn't represent maybe anybody, let alone mainstream America.

[Joe Getty]

Seriously, one out of how many thousand married couples in Gen Z are in a throuple? 1 in 50,000. 1 in 150,000.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, my, my theory on this has been true for a long time and it's just growing is that those probably written by people who aren't married and their friends aren't married and they, they always have to have a negative spin on marriage.

[Joe Getty]

Right.

[Jack Armstrong]

Because they don't for whatever reason participate.

[Joe Getty]

Right? Yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

So you always have to have a negative spin on it and why it's a bad thing or complicated.

[Joe Getty]

And evidently like the plus in the B, T, Q, I, A, L, M, N, O, P means just whatever the hell else. There's something called polycules, which is like you got seven or eight people and a dog involved. I guess.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's final thought. I'm strong. It's final thoughts.

[Joe Getty]

It's final thoughts.

[Jack Armstrong]

I'm strong. Get ready with Katie Green and Michelangelo. Reminds me, I saw that they're now four months in. Katy Perry and Justin Trudeau as a couple. Who knew he even liked chicks? Here's your host for Final Thoughts, Joe Getty.

[Joe Getty]

I wonder who is pitching in that situation.

[Jack Armstrong]

Wow.

[Joe Getty]

Okay, let's get a final thought from everybody on the crew to wrap things up for the day. There he is, pressing the buttons in the control room, our technical director, Michelangelo Michael. Yeah, something that Katie mentioned early in.

[Jack Armstrong]

The show about malware.

[Joe Getty]

That if you surf porn, it'll take your picture.

[Jack Armstrong]

Right?

[Joe Getty]

Boy, there's gonna be a lot of.

[Jack Armstrong]

People that will stop surfing porn if they know their picture is being taken, the camera is videoing you or taking pictures of you.

[Joe Getty]

Cover up your webcam. A Katie Greener, esteemed newswoman, has a final thought. Katie, that clip of Kamala we played earlier just reminded me of how much I missed not hearing her voice.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, no kidding. How annoying was that?

[Joe Getty]

She is astoundingly annoying. Jack, a final thought for us.

[Jack Armstrong]

If you do buy some sort of mannequin like we did for Halloween, that you can dress up in funny poses, don't leave it sitting around the house. I swear to God, you'll come around the corner and scare the crap out of yourself. We've done it like 10 times.

[Joe Getty]

Oof. My final thought is if the ball hits a nice any surface in the park, including the wall, it is a live ball. You cannot trap a fly ball against the wall. All runners may advance. That crazy, crazy baseball play last night.

[Jack Armstrong]

So you didn't think that was a double play?

[Joe Getty]

Oh, no, it was.

[Jack Armstrong]

It was.

[Joe Getty]

That was a live ball.

[Jack Armstrong]

Okay.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

Armstrong and Yeti wrapping up another grueling four hour workday.

[Joe Getty]

So many people to thank, so little time. Go to armstrong yeti.com. we have all sorts of great clicks for you. Drop us a note, pick up some swag.

[Jack Armstrong]

We'll see you tomorrow. God bless America. Armstrong and Getty. There are those who accept Armstrong and.

[Joe Getty]

Getty.

[Jack Armstrong]

And then there are those who will try to castrate themselves with a toenail clipper. Don't be a dope, you bonehead. Subscribe to the podcast Armstrong and Getty on Demand.

[Joe Getty]

Armstrong and Getty.

[Jack Armstrong]

This is an I heart podcast.