Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: "That's Why You Have 2 Brown Nubs In Your Mouth"

Date: December 3, 2025
Host: Jack Armstrong & Joe Getty (with Katie Greener and team)
Podcast by: iHeartPodcasts

Main Theme & Purpose

This episode of "Armstrong & Getty On Demand" delivers the duo’s trademark blend of current events, cultural commentary, and unsparing humor. Major topics include the impacts of smartphone addiction on kids, updates on the Russia-Ukraine conflict, reactions to new Jeffrey Epstein photos, societal shifts due to weight loss drugs, quirks of TSA airport security, and cultural reflections on religion and charity. The show features lively exchanges, notable rants, and signature banter among the hosts.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The "Content Creator" Culture & Smartphone Addiction

• Viral Stunts: Opens with commentary on a content creator breaking the record for most T-shirts worn during a half marathon (137 shirts).

  • Jack: "He's a content creator and his content is he does weird, freaky, kind of funny things that are also painful and strenuous." (02:36)
  • Leads to a broader critique of “pointless” viral internet content and endless consumption.
  • Joe: "People scrolling through their phones all day long taking in this crap, leads to more of this crap, and it's just... it'll never end." (03:26)

• Smartphones and Kids:

  • New study links early smartphone use to higher rates of depression, obesity, and poor sleep in tweens.
  • Jack: Shares key findings and warns, "When you give your kid a phone, you need to think of it as something that is significant for the kid's health and behave accordingly." (05:29)
  • Joe: "You have a kid or an adult, anybody who's addicted to their smartphone... You don't get that until you get your grades up or you start taking the trash out... That is powerful." (06:06)
  • Debate on Consequences: They ponder whether taking phones away as punishment is feasible for most parents.

[07:04] – Teacher’s Testimony: The School Experience Now

• A teacher describes students as “dopamine addicts” unable to focus on anything non-digital.

  • Teacher: "They live on their phones, and they're just fed a constant stream of dopamine... when you are standing in front of them trying to teach, they're vacant. They have no ability to tune in if your communication isn't packaged in short little clips..." (starts 07:04)
  • Kids show unprecedented apathy about grades and future prospects.
  • Links between digital addiction and mental disengagement.

• Joe: "That part, I’ve run into that. Not caring about stuff, and I just don’t quite get it..." (08:20)

• Jack: Connects it to classical addiction behaviors.

[09:46] – Struggles with Adult Attention

• Joe: "I have a hard time reading long form myself. I have to like, really discipline myself to make myself do it because it seems so boring... because I've ruined my brain." (09:46)

2. Putin's Aggressive Rhetoric and the Russia-Ukraine War

[13:21] – Geopolitical Update

• Recap of current stalemates in the war and European diplomatic skepticism.
• Joe: "Putin actually said... 'We are not planning to go to war with Europe, but if Europe wants to and starts, we are ready right now.' If that sort of comment had come out of the Soviet premiere in the 80s, the world would have stopped." (14:54)
• Jack: "There already is war in Europe... including incursions into the airspace of half a dozen countries by Russia and its drones..." (15:47)
• Hosts note the changed modern reaction to such bombastic threats.

3. Jeffrey Epstein Photo Leak: Media Sensation or Nothing Burger?

[16:25] – New Epstein Island Photos

• Katie: Mentions newly released Epstein Island images (one featuring a yellow dental chair surrounded by men’s mask faces).

  • Joe: "I don't want to go to a dentist that's got those masks on the wall... No, that just seems weird." (17:34)
  • Jack: "This is a nothing burger. They just leaked out these completely innocuous pictures of storerooms and couches just to get Epstein back in the news." (17:31)

• Speculate that new photo releases are politically motivated and haven’t added substance to the ongoing Epstein scandal.

4. Dental Neglect, Genetics, & Banter

[19:11] – Dental Check-ups

• Group comically compares their dental visit frequency; Joe jokes he hasn’t been since "2002," which prompts Jack to quip:
  • Jack: "That's why you got nothing but two brown nubs in your mouth." (19:14)
• The line gives the episode its title, sparking laughter and good-natured ribbing.

5. The Joy (and Frustrations) of TSA and Holiday Travel

[19:48] – TSA Mockery

• Celebrate TSA’s record travel day with a satirical TSA announcement.

  • Parody includes running gags on inconsistent security instructions regarding belts, shoes, and electronics:
  • Jack: "Every TSA guide, they ought to force them to fly back and forth at least once... and they get through that experience and say, oh, oh, now I get it." (20:57)

• Joe shares his frustration at overlong, cringe-worthy search pat-down instructions for minors. (21:27)

6. Celebrity Thinness and the “Ozempic Economy”

[22:16] – Super-Thin Celebrities & Weight Loss Drugs

• Joe: Comments on “heroin chic” and the sudden thinness of stars like Ariana Grande: "She is a skeleton with hair. And same with Latoya Jackson..." (23:06)

• Katie: Shares tips on weight loss and stopping at a healthy point after significant personal weight loss.

[24:15] – Economic Impact of New Weight Loss Drugs

• Discuss the widespread effects of drugs like Ozempic, Wegovy, Mounjaro:

  • Surge in supplements, hair, anti-nausea meds
  • Decrease in snack/junk food purchases; increase in produce and smaller-size clothing sales
  • Jack: "It's turned around the obesity rate for the first time in human history, certainly in the United States." (24:15)

• Joe: Wonders about the social dynamic: "If you’re 300 pounds and everyone else is on the Ozempic... it'll be a lot more noticeable." (28:50)

• Jack: Jokes about the loss of demand for "rascal scooters" and "sticks where you pick stuff up off the floor." (29:14)

7. Cultural Reflections: Nativity Scene and Modern Issues

[32:14] – Nativity Scene as Social Statement

• Chicago-area church uses ICE imagery, gas masks, and zip-tied baby in nativity scene to comment on immigration.
  • Joe: "Am I supposed to just drop to my knees devastated by your juxtaposition of the Nativity scene with a modern political story...?" (33:08)
• Critique the tendency to use religious imagery for progressive activism.

[34:46] – Jesus & Charity to the Addicted

• Discuss challenges of reconciling Christian charity ("feed the poor") with enabling addiction among the homeless.
  • Joe: "I’ve never been able to square that with my beliefs... We got plenty of taxpayer food going to the drug addicts and it's just allowing them to spend their money on drugs and booze." (34:46)
  • Jack: "You just knee jerk. No, the Bible said feed the hungry. So we're going to feed the hungry and give them a tent and give them a clean needle..." (35:01)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "People scrolling through their phones all day long taking in this crap, leads to more of this crap, and it's just... it'll never end." – Joe Getty (03:26)
• "When you give your kid a phone, you need to think of it as something that is significant for the kid's health and behave accordingly." – Jack Armstrong quoting a pediatric psychiatrist (05:29)
• "They live on their phones... in a constant state of dopamine withdrawal at school. They behave like addicts... They have a level of apathy that I've never seen before in my whole career." – Teacher clip (07:04)
• "That's why you got nothing but two brown nubs in your mouth." – Jack Armstrong (19:14)
• "Putin actually said, 'We are not planning to go to war with Europe, but if Europe wants to and starts, we are ready right now.'" – Joe Getty (14:54)
• "They're not zip tieing freaking infants." – Jack Armstrong, on the nativity scene protest (33:29)

Timestamps of Important Segments

• 01:59 – Marathon & T-shirts; Content creator culture
• 03:42 – Smartphone study and early use risks
• 07:04 – Teacher's “dopamine addict students” testimony
• 13:21 – Russia-Ukraine, Putin’s threats, EU reactions
• 16:25 – Epstein Island photos, reactions
• 19:14 – Dental neglect banter; origin of episode name
• 19:48 – TSA satire & holiday travel complaints
• 22:16 – "Heroin chic," celebrity weight, Ozempic
• 24:15 – Economic/cultural impacts of new weight-loss drugs
• 32:14 – Nativity scene as protest art; religious charity & social justice
• 37:12 – Final thoughts & sign-off

Tone & Style

The episode is marked by irreverent humor, strong opinions, and spontaneous, often self-deprecating conversation. The hosts frequently use satire and sarcasm, and banter back and forth both on the serious issues and the day-to-day topics.

Conclusion

"That's Why You Have 2 Brown Nubs In Your Mouth" delivers Armstrong & Getty’s signature combination of skepticism, social critique, and playful mockery across issues from smartphone addiction to geopolitics and cultural change. Notable for its frankness and pace, listeners get both trenchant insights and plenty of levity—making the episode engaging whether you care most about tech’s impact on kids, the politics of war, or whether your dentist’s choice in décor might be a red flag.

For further highlights or to listen, visit Armstrong & Getty On Demand.