The A&G Replay Tuesday Hour Two

Summary

Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: The A&G Replay Tuesday Hour Two
Date: December 23, 2025
Podcast Host: iHeartPodcasts

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Episode Overview

This episode is a replay, featuring handpicked past segments of Armstrong & Getty. The main themes include a deep dive into shifting societal trends—especially how Americans have spent their time over the decades, the rise and implications of being ‘online,’ family and friendship dynamics, evolving attitudes toward monogamy and relationships, and a lighter segment on the nature of Santa Claus imagery. The tone is conversational, irreverent, and at times philosophically probing.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. How America Spends Its Time: From Family to Online

(03:24 – 14:21)

• Animated Graph Discussion: Joe describes an animated bar graph charting how Americans spent their time from 1930 to 2024, which visually illustrates dramatic societal changes.

  • In 1932, most time was spent with family and school (each ~22%), friends (~19%), neighbors, church, and almost none online.
  • Over the decades friends, coworkers, and entertainment rise; church and neighbors decline.
  • By the early 2000s, online activity appears and quickly accelerates after introduction of smartphones.

• Dramatic Shift by 2024:

  • “Online, 61% of their time.” — Joe Getty [08:31]
  • Friends drop to 14%, family and school even lower; church, neighbors, and other traditional social venues are diminished to negligible levels.

• Loneliness and Social Decline:

  • Google searches for “how to meet people” or “feel lonely” have skyrocketed from 2009–2024.
  • “On the other hand, the upside is everybody's happy. Oh, wait, no, actually everybody's miserable. Loneliness is epidemic. Therapists are printing money, etc. You know, interesting people don't have babies.” — Joe Getty [10:49]
  • Both hosts agree the societal shift is irreversible, with Jack lamenting, “That ain't gonna change.” [09:25]

• Generational Memory:

  • Jack notes that soon, no one will remember the "before times" pre-Internet. [10:19]

Notable Quotes:

• “To be entertained is not to be nourished.” — Joe Getty [13:49]
• “That dopamine hit gets a lot of people to do a lot of things all day today and every day…” — Jack Armstrong [14:09]

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2. Personal Milestone: Katie’s IVF Journey

(17:39 – 21:42)

• Katie shares a personal update on her IVF process:

  • “We, in the beginning of September, went through the embryo transfer of our little baby boy… Last Thursday, we had our first ultrasound and heartbeat appointment.” — Katie [17:45]
  • Light teasing ensues about the baby’s name being a combination of all show hosts.

• Reflections on Parenthood:

  • Jack: “There is nothing as life changing or relationship changing as that first kid. I mean, just everything in the entire world that you think about changes when that happens.” [18:27]
  • Joe recounts being fascinated by fetal development and expresses strong views about the humanity of fetuses, although he avoids the politics.

• Societal Value of Motherhood:

  • Joe takes a pointed jab at societal values:
    • “The fact that a certain segment of our political population thinks that a woman’s supernatural goddess like miraculous ability to bring life into the world is somehow a lesser… than occupying a cubicle and making a few bucks.” [20:46]

• Lighthearted Banter:

  • Hosting duties hand off with jokes about being a “birthing person,” coffee jitters, and how old ultrasound tech is.

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3. Biology and Cultural Expectations: Are Humans Meant to Be Monogamous?

(27:14 – 39:00)

• Animal Kingdom Comparisons:

  • Discussion springs from a previous segment about animal monogamy and email feedback.
  • Joe explores primate biology: Tournament species (high male-male competition, pronounced sexual dimorphism) vs. pair-bonding species (low dimorphism, more male parenting).
  • “Polygamous primates have large testes as a percentage of body weight and high sperm production... the rest of it. Now, among your monogamous pair bonding primates, the males do much of the infant care.” — Joe Getty [31:08]

• Where Do Humans Fit?

  • Humans are “profoundly confused” and biologically between strict monogamy and polygamy.
  • “Turns out that we aren’t monogamous or polygamous by nature. As everyone from poets to divorce attorneys can attest, we are by nature a profoundly confused species somewhere in between.” — Joe Getty [35:30]

• Cultural Overlay:

  • Jack notes: “We have the ability to think and make decisions and let our instincts run wild or curtail our instincts if we come up with a worldview that convinces us we should.” [35:30]

• Current Demographic Trends:

  • Women’s attitudes toward marriage and children are changing rapidly, especially among liberal women; men (especially conservative men) are more static in their interests.
  • “The trend line of women reporting a declining desire to marry may indeed reflect pessimism about their prospects rather than the institution itself… If the last several decades have taught us anything about the battle of the sexes, we should remember that the war on boys is also a war on girls.” — Quoting Emily Jashinsky via Joe Getty [38:36]

• Sardonic Ending:

  • Jack jokes his rock band will be called “Tournament Testicles.” [39:08]

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4. Santa Claus: Campy vs. Orthodox

(41:59 – 45:44)

• Santa Types & Preference:

  • Jack notes the two key types of Santa imagery—cartoonish/Jolly Red vs. ‘Father Christmas’ with dark robes—often linked to class or cultural setting.
  • Joe enjoys a variety of Christmas traditions, referencing Sinter Klaas from the Netherlands.
  • Katie: “I like the red, the, the typical one that you see... at like the Santa pub crawls.” [43:22]
  • Jack perceives the more priestly Santa as an attempt to conflate Santa and religious symbolism.

• Humorous Philosophical Tangent:

  • Joe notes the Christian roots: “I hate to contradict your secular humanist filth, but St. Nicholas, please. Anybody? St. Nicholas, it’s a religious ceremony. It’s a tradition. It’s the birth of Christ…” [43:59]

• Secular vs. Religious Christmas:

  • They discuss the blending and division between the two Christmases—religious and secular/festive.

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5. Additional Noteworthy Segments

Novelty Foods & Joyful Simplicity (25:20 – 26:31)

• Brief and funny discussion of a grocery chain serving vanilla soft-serve dipped in melted butter, and how “people who are delighted by that are happier than I am. I should envy them.” — Joe Getty [25:53]

Lighthearted Banter on Days of the Week (21:59 – 22:34)

• Jack laments waking up convinced it was Saturday, only to realize it was Monday:
  • “Not only was it not Saturday, it was freaking Monday, which is the worst of days. You're gonna get down the salt mine. You're gonna dig, boy.” — Joe Getty [22:21]

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Memorable Quotes

• "To be entertained is not to be nourished." — Joe Getty [13:49]
• "That ain't gonna change." — Jack Armstrong [09:25] (on societal time spent online)
• "Every day, you know, prior to whatever 1998 was... Not online." — Jack Armstrong [10:37]
• "Loneliness is epidemic. Therapists are printing money..." — Joe Getty [10:49]
• "We are by nature a profoundly confused species somewhere in between." — Joe Getty [35:30]
• "Only hippies who are trying to get laid are going around trying to convince you we're not meant to be monogamous. That's a social construction. Whatever. Shut up." — Jack Armstrong [35:51]
• "My band is going to be called Tournament Testicles." — Jack Armstrong [39:08]
• "I hate to contradict your secular humanist filth, but St. Nicholas, please..." — Joe Getty [43:59]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 03:24 – 14:21: Americans’ time use through history; the rise of “online”
• 17:39 – 21:42: Katie’s IVF announcement and parenthood reflection
• 27:14 – 39:00: Monogamy, biology, and changing relationship norms
• 41:59 – 45:44: The two Santas: campy vs. Eastern Orthodox
• 25:20 – 26:31: Novelty foods and simple happiness
• 21:59 – 22:34: Losing track of the days – Jack’s Monday confusion

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Summary

This Armstrong & Getty hour is a lively criss-cross of smart, funny, and thought-provoking segments: a glimpse into how American social lives have migrated online to a possibly detrimental effect; a celebration of personal milestones like IVF success; a deep and funny examination of the messiness of human mating habits; a contemplation of demographic shifts and what they might foretell; and playful reflection on Christmas traditions.
The signature Armstrong & Getty tone—wry, conversational, and sometimes biting but always animated—shines throughout, inviting both laughter and serious reflection.

Transcript

[Jack Armstrong]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Commercial Announcer 1]

Guaranteed Human did you know? Microsoft has officially ended Support for Windows 10? Upgrade to Windows 11 with an LG Gram laptop, voted PCMag's Reader's Choice top laptop brand for 2025. Thin and ultra lightweight, the LG Gram keeps you productive anywhere, and Windows 11 gives you access to free security updates and ongoing feature upgrades. Visit lgusa.com iheart for great seasonal savings on LG Gram laptops with Windows 11. PCMag reader's choice used with permission. All rights reserved.

[Commercial Announcer 2]

The world's best ski and snowboard athletes are chasing medals. Now you can follow their every move. Join Insider, the official US Ski and snowboard fan loyalty program, and get premium viewing at World cup ski events, exclusive athlete meetups, discounts from brands you love, and a custom welcome gift mailed direct to your doorstep this winter. Show your support as they race for the podium. Head to insider.usski and snowboard.org and join. Today.

[Trainer Games Announcer]

10 athletes will face the toughest job interview in fitness that will push past physical and mental breaking points. You are the fittest of the fit. Only one of you will leave here with an IFIT contract worth $250,000.

[Joe Getty]

This is where mindset comes in.

[Trainer Games Announcer]

Someone will be eliminated.

[Jack Armstrong]

Pressure is coming down.

[Joe Getty]

Trainer Games on Prime Video January 8th watch the trailer on trainergames.com this Hol holiday season.

[Jack Armstrong]

Give the gift. Everyone will gather around a Vizio Smart TV now available at Walmart. From a super sized 100 inch TV to QLED TVs of all sizes, Vizio delivers breathtaking color and crystal clear picture quality that takes entertainment to the next level. Plus with Watch Free plus built in, they can enjoy free live and on demand TV right out of the box. Have a music lover on your list? They can stream their favorite music on the iHeartRadio app ready to go on every Vizio TV. The perfect gift is waiting. Head to Walmart.com and discover Vizio TVs.

[Washington Post Announcer]

Today, a new year is on the Horizon and your 2026 savings start here. Right now you can access the Washington post for just $2 every four weeks. Head into the new year with six months of savings at this special intro rate. After that it'll cost $12 every four weeks. Cancel anytime. You'll get unlimited access to trusted journalism that helps you understand the year ahead and the world around you. Now's the perfect time to subscribe because great habits and great savings start together. Go to washingtonpost.com iheart that's washingtonpost.com iheart and start your Year informed with the Post.

[Joe Getty]

Broadcasting live from the Abraham Lincoln radio studio at the George Washington Broadcast.

[Jack Armstrong]

Center, Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty.

[Joe Getty]

Armstrong and Getty. And now here's Armstrong and Getty. We took the day off.

[Jack Armstrong]

We are not live from studio. Studio C. We're.

[Katie]

We're home.

[Jack Armstrong]

Actually, it's my son's birthday, so I'm out celebrating that probably.

[Joe Getty]

Excellent. Well, happy birthday to your son and enjoy this carefully selected, I mean, fine tooth. Covid weeks were spent in coming up with the perfect combination of past segments from the Armstrong and Getty Show.

[Jack Armstrong]

So let's all enjoy the Armstrong and Getty replay.

[Joe Getty]

I'm looking at a. A graph. It's a. An animated graph. It moves. I love the years. Those are so cool. I love them. As the years go by, the bar graph changes. You're not going to see that. Although we've posted [e-mail] I retweeted it. If you follow us on X, formerly known as Twitter, there are a lot of numbers here. I will attempt to help make sense of them. It's better to see it, but how people spent their time from 1930 through 2024. And the punchline being, of course. And we wonder why society's in decline. But in 1932, family and school were virtually tied at 22% and change. Then you had friends at 19% with neighbors 11.3%, church, 10%, bars, restaurants, et cetera. 8% college. You know, down the line, obviously, online was 0%. Very few people online in 1932. They just didn't enjoy it as much back then. Okay, so let's just go ahead and jump, like 10 years. Let's see. Let me silence that. There we go. Okay, so 1942, you still have family and friends virtually tied. School has fallen back a tiny bit. Neighbors is right there where it always was, in fourth place. Church has declined a little bit. Time with coworkers, by the way, has gone up slightly. It's now around 5%.

[Jack Armstrong]

How much time online in 1942?

[Joe Getty]

Still zero. Jack, an excellent, incisive question. Let's go ahead and roll up. Oh, I see people categories switching places. There we are. In 1952, Friends has now surpassed Family by about 3%. School is still big. Bars, restaurants, and entertainment is now significantly higher than it was.

[Jack Armstrong]

Wow.

[Joe Getty]

From the 30s to the 50s, hanging.

[Jack Armstrong]

Out with the bar at the bars with the friends, family dropping a little bit. Interesting.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, but you know, it's bars, restaurants, etc. But it's definitely. You're out more Neighbors fallen back a little bit. Co workers now has gone from 4% way up to 7%. It's almost doubled how much time we spend. And church continues to decline a little bit. Let's jump to 1962.

[Jack Armstrong]

We're getting close to the hippies.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, not quite there yet. Friends is now clearly outstripped family by 6 or 7%. School has fallen slightly. Entertainment is now grown. Time with coworkers is now almost at 10%. It's now doubled from the original. Neighbors is in decline. And church continues to fall.

[Jack Armstrong]

Part of it is not. Well, it's all cultural, I guess, but it's not like attitudes. I mean, your co worker was your mule in 1902.

[Joe Getty]

Really not that great a conversationalist. Right, Right. Okay. And now I'm going to skip ahead a few decades as various.

[Jack Armstrong]

You're so stubborn, Jim.

[Joe Getty]

I would say various, you know, forces in our wives are jockeying for position. 1992, we're definitely spending the most time with our friends, co workers and bars, restaurants, et cetera, have both passed family. Church has continued to decline only slightly from the 60s to the 90s. But much more time at work and much more time out being entertained. Which is interesting, but the punchline is coming up and some of you are ahead of us. We're going to pause right at 2002 because there's about to be a gigantic change. Online has gone from not to about six and a half percent of our.

[Jack Armstrong]

Time online, even already by 2002. Probably at work mostly.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, I'm going to back up just a little bit. Yeah, online, 4% in 2000 and then 6 and 3/4 percent in 2002, which is a significant change. But most of our time is still with friends. 27% and coworkers and then out and getting entertained. Now let's introduce the smartphone, folks. I'm just gonna go to 2012. Ten years from then. Online is now number one. It's gone from 6, 7% to 26%, surpassing friends. Co workers is still in third. Bars and restaurants, 10%. And then you get to family and school. And church continues to decline slightly. Online went from a non factor to how most people spent most of their time in the span of a decade. That's 2012. Let's go ahead up to 2024. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the modern world. Online, 61% of their time.

[Jack Armstrong]

Wow.

[Joe Getty]

Two 30 days. 14% friends, which had always been number one since like the 19, late 1930s.

[Jack Armstrong]

And I'm only pretending to listen to my friends. So I can get back to my phone. Or you're sitting with your friends and you're all staring at your phones together.

[Joe Getty]

Exactly. In fact, online is now four and a half times the number that friends is. Coworkers has declined. Bars and restaurants has declined steeply. And that includes bowling alleys and whatever else, probably sports games and that sort of thing too. Family is a tiny fraction of what it was. School has declined significantly. Church has been cut in half from 15 years prior. College neighbors practically don't exist. It's all online. Has anybody got any questions? That's it.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, I have a statement. That ain't gonna change.

[Joe Getty]

It's never going back. As I always say, it can change in your life if you decide to do it. Societally, not so much.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, I'm talking about society. It ain't gonna change for society. It ain't going back. Which is amazing. I mean it's the biggest. It's the biggest revolution in what human beings are probably that's ever happened.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. As a anthropologist, you've got to look at society. Sure. As, as a human. I look at society as a collection of individuals and I'm, I. The idea of I'm going to change society is now it's no, change yourself. Change the people you care about. That's the only thing you as a human being should be worried about. Honestly, the immediately local.

[Jack Armstrong]

And as I always say, those of us who remember the before times are aging right. And we'll be gone in a blink of an eye. And there won't be anybody that remembers any of what life was like before online, which was everything. It was everything.

[Joe Getty]

Right.

[Jack Armstrong]

Every day, you know, prior to whatever 1998 was.

[Joe Getty]

Not online.

[Jack Armstrong]

Every single thing. And then it gets obliterated and there won't be anybody left who remembers what life was.

[Joe Getty]

On the other hand, the upside is everybody's happy. Oh, wait, no, actually everybody's miserable. Loneliness is epidemic. Therapists are printing money, et cetera. You know, interesting people don't have babies. No babies. Google search volume for the following things. How to meet people has stopped, skyrocketed from what is this millions of people? From 25 million to 100 million. From 2009 to 224, it's quadrupled. How to meet people. How to meet new people. Similar. Where to make friends has gone from that looks like 15 million to over 100 million. The Google search feel lonely has gone from 45 million or so up to. It peaked during COVID not surprisingly at around 90 million. I hope people are aware of how they feel, which you think.

[Jack Armstrong]

I hope they'll live to be a ripe old age. I really do. Because I'd like, I'd like it like if I can hang around till I'm 140 years from now.

[Joe Getty]

I'd love to see where the world.

[Jack Armstrong]

Is, where things are. I'm not optimistic but you know, probably your average 60 year old through history has been not optimistic. Thinks that, you know, things have changed and young people today and blah blah, blah. But this time we're right.

[Joe Getty]

This time we're right. Yeah. The, the only thing that really shakes up that thought in my head, that rabbit hole, is that there will be gigantic unforeseen cataclysmic changes that will derail the whole, you know, A, B, C, D, E. All of a sudden will be at S or you know, or, or in a completely different or counting backward like it's a sobriety test. I can't even do that sober. Officer. The as for me and mine, I'm. I'm absorbing this. I am going to send this to everybody I care about.

[Jack Armstrong]

The, the drop off in time with family and friends towards staring at your phone. I mean what, you know, what is there to say about that?

[Joe Getty]

Family, schooling and friends went from 61% of the time to now I silenced you earlier. Went from 61% to family, school and friends down to there it is 20%.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. So I think one of the problems also is view if you if tell young people that. I think most of them would say yeah, that sounds really boring. Family, friends and school kill me now. Yeah, it's not like they would look at that and think wow, that seems like that would have been a great age to be alive.

[Joe Getty]

Right. To be entertained is not to be nourished. I would say to them you're not getting nourishment. And then I would realize they're not listening. They're staring at tick tock.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, you need to argue with the human brain. Dopamine hits seem to be pretty popular. We like our dopamine.

[Joe Getty]

I've been arguing with my brain since the day I was born.

[Jack Armstrong]

That dopamine hit gets a lot of people to do a lot of things all day today and every day and.

[Joe Getty]

There are trillions of dollars being made through it. Yeah, but they've got your best interests in mind. Take their word for it.

[Jack Armstrong]

Sure they do.

[Joe Getty]

Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty. The Armstrong and Getty Show.

[Commercial Announcer 1]

Did you know Microsoft has officially ended Support for Windows 10? Upgrade to Windows 11 with an LG Gram laptop Voted PCMag's Reader's Choice Top Laptop Brand for 2025 Thin and ultra lightweight, the LG Gram keeps you productive anywhere, and Windows 11 gives you access to free security updates and ongoing feature upgrades. Visit lgusa.com iheart for great seasonal savings on LG Gram laptops with Windows 11. PCMag reader's choice used with permission. All rights reserved.

[Commercial Announcer 2]

The world's best ski and snowboard athletes are chasing medals. Now you can follow their every move. Join Insider, the official US Ski and snowboard fan loyalty program, and get premium viewing at World cup ski events, exclusive athlete meetups, discounts from brands you love, and a custom welcome gift mailed direct to your doorstep this winter. Show your support as they race for for the podium. Head to insider.usski and snowboard.org and join today.

[Trainer Games Announcer]

Ten athletes will face the toughest job interview in fitness that will push past physical and mental breaking points. You are the fittest of the fit. Only one of you will leave here with an IFIT contract for $250,000.

[Joe Getty]

This is where mindset comes in.

[Trainer Games Announcer]

Someone will be eliminated.

[Jack Armstrong]

Pressure is coming down.

[Joe Getty]

Trainer Games on Prime Video January 8th Watch the trailer on trainergames.com this holiday season.

[Jack Armstrong]

Give the gift. Everyone will gather around a Vizio Smart TV now available at Walmart. From a super sized 100 inch TV to QLED TVs of all sizes, Vizio delivers breathtaking color and crystal clear picture quality that takes entertainment to the next level. Plus, with Watch Free plus built in, they can enjoy free live and on demand TV right out of the box. Have a music lover on your list. They can stream their favorite music on the iHeartRadio app. Ready to go on every Vizio TV. The perfect gift is waiting. Head to Walmart.com and discover Vizio TVs today.

[Washington Post Announcer]

A new year is on the Horizon and your 2026 savings start here. Right now you can access the Washington post for just $2 every four weeks. Head into the new year with six months of savings at the special intro rate. After that, it'll cost $12 every four weeks. Cancel anytime. You'll get unlimited access to trusted journalism that helps you understand the year ahead and the world around you. Now's the perfect time to subscribe because great habits and great savings start together. Go to washingtonpost.com iheart that's washingtonpost.com iheart and start your year informed with the Post.

[Joe Getty]

Officials are saying this year's fall foliage season will end sooner and will have more muted colors.

[Jack Armstrong]

Cool.

[Joe Getty]

Guess I'll just kill Myself then, wow, that's funny.

[Jack Armstrong]

That's kind of a snarky millennial who gives a crap about fall colors sort of joke. That sounds like something my kids would really enjoy, that joke. So, Katie, Katie, Katie needs to set up this clip because this is a big deal.

[Joe Getty]

Okay.

[Katie]

So I've talked a couple of times on the program about how my husband and I have been going through the IVF process.

[Jack Armstrong]

Get.

[Katie]

Trying to get knocked up. And we, in the beginning of September, went through the embryo transfer of our little baby boy that will obviously be named Jack. Joe. Mike. Mike. Last Thursday, we had our first ultrasound and heartbeat appointment. So unlike me, he has a heart.

[Jack Armstrong]

That's little Jack.

[Katie]

Joe.

[Jack Armstrong]

Mike. Mike.

[Katie]

That's little Jack.

[Joe Getty]

Joe. Mike. Mike's heartbeat.

[Jack Armstrong]

Unlike you, he has a heart. That's a good joke.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, yeah. That's freaking amazing.

[Katie]

Isn't that incredible?

[Joe Getty]

It is.

[Jack Armstrong]

And I was thinking this the other day because my son's band teacher, they're having their first kid and he's all excited about there. There is nothing as life changing or relationship changing as that first kid. I mean, just everything in the entire world that you think about changes when that happens. And it's just amazing.

[Joe Getty]

When Judy was first pregnant with Caitlyn, many, many moons ago, I dove into fetal development. I became super interested in it for obvious reasons and read books and articles and stuff like that. And I'm not going to get into the politics of this because it's not an appropriate moment, but anybody who thinks a fetus is not a human being till very late in the game has no idea what they're talking about.

[Katie]

Oh, I mean, it's the pictures that I'll put them on. On my Twitter account, she took the cursor and she pointed. You can see his little arms and his legs in the ultrasound. And he is currently the size of a jelly bean.

[Joe Getty]

But fully recognizable human. Give it another couple of months.

[Katie]

Oh, I can't wait. It's just. It's been so amazing and the process was. But so worth it. And to hear that made it. I mean, I knew it was real, but hearing that heartbeat just kind of brought it all the more to life for me.

[Joe Getty]

Of course.

[Jack Armstrong]

How long has that technology been around? Did they have it when your first kid was born, Joe?

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

So it's been around that long?

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, yeah. I don't know how it's progressed in terms of, like, sensitivity and how early you can hear the heartbeat and that sort of thing. I don't know.

[Jack Armstrong]

But, like, all this stuff unimaginable to my parents. Knowing the sex ahead of time or hearing the heartbeat or knowing anything.

[Katie]

So my, my. I. I did have. I. I misspoke. I had one ultrasound prior. Could not hear the heartbeat. Last Thursday. Did hear the heartbeat. I'm. I'm at eight and a half weeks.

[Joe Getty]

So it was a little fast.

[Jack Armstrong]

Were you drinking a lot of coffee or.

[Katie]

Oh, just totally jacked up. No, it's just.

[Joe Getty]

Sounds like. Sounds like me after I come up a flight of stairs. Yeah, pretty much.

[Jack Armstrong]

Exactly.

[Joe Getty]

It's more stairs than it looks.

[Jack Armstrong]

That's me four cups of coffee in.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, that Jack, when he's having one of his caffeine, he starts checking his pulse.

[Jack Armstrong]

End up in the ER because I drink so much coffee.

[Joe Getty]

Amazing. Absolutely amazing. The miracle of life. And the fact that a certain segment of our political population thinks that a woman's supernatural goddess like miraculous ability to bring life into the world is somehow a lesser occup than occupying a cubicle and making a few bucks. That's a much more important and respectable thing to do.

[Jack Armstrong]

Makes you equal with men.

[Joe Getty]

Yes.

[Katie]

Right.

[Joe Getty]

Why? Why would you want to be equal with men? You're capable of miracles. The only miracle that counts, and that's being devalued. Family is being devalued. Makes me insane.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, congratulations on being a birthing person.

[Katie]

Thank you.

[Joe Getty]

I appreciate men. Men can give birth too. So let's not be using prejudicial terms like mother.

[Katie]

Well, and so little Jack. Joe. Mike. Mike is due on May 27th.

[Joe Getty]

Okay.

[Jack Armstrong]

That's a good. That's a good time. Good time.

[Joe Getty]

Is it for short? Probably. Joe.

[Katie]

Right?

[Joe Getty]

Something's got to give.

[Jack Armstrong]

Thank you for sharing that, Katie.

[Joe Getty]

You know, that's wonderful, Katie.

[Jack Armstrong]

You know what I did this morning, it was horrifying. Well, I didn't do it on purpose. It just happened. For whatever reason, I woke up and I was convinced it was Saturday morning. So I woke up and I was like thinking of my plans for the.

[Joe Getty]

Day and, oh, you know, the God's cruelest trick I just was going through.

[Jack Armstrong]

You know, it looks like it's going to be nice and probably ride my bike and then I'll do this and clean the garage.

[Joe Getty]

And that's Monday. Not only was it not Saturday, it was freaking Monday, which is the worst of days. You're gonna get down the salt mine. You're gonna dig, boy. That's what you're gonna do. God, that was so tough on my psyche.

[Jack Armstrong]

It was painful. I thought I was gonna cry Armstrong.

[Joe Getty]

And.

[Commercial Announcer 1]

Did you know Microsoft has officially ended Support for Windows 10. Upgrade to Windows 11 with an LG Gram laptop, voted PCMag's Reader's Choice top laptop brand for 2025. Thin and ultra lightweight, the LG Gram keeps you productive anywhere, and Windows 11 gives you access to free security updates and ongoing feature upgrades. Visit lgusa.com iheart for great seasonal savings on LG Gram laptops with Windows 11. PCMag reader's choice used with permission. All rights reserved.

[Commercial Announcer 2]

The world's best ski and snowboard athletes are chasing medals. Now you can follow their every move. Join Insider, the official US Ski and Snowboard fan loyalty program, and get premium viewing at World cup ski events, exclusive athlete meetups, discounts from brands you love, and a custom welcome gift mailed direct to your doorstep. This winter, show your support as they race for the podium. Head to insider.usski and snowboard.org and join. Today.

[Trainer Games Announcer]

10 athletes will face the toughest job interview in fitness that will push past physical and mental breaking points. You are the fittest of the fit. Only one of you will leave here with an IFIT contract for $250 $50,000.

[Joe Getty]

This is where mindset comes in.

[Trainer Games Announcer]

Someone will be eliminated.

[Joe Getty]

Pressure is coming down. Trainer Games On Prime Video January 8th. Watch the trailer on trainergames.com this holiday.

[Jack Armstrong]

Season, give the gift of incredible sound with Vizio's full Sound Bar lineup available at Walmart. Transform any living room into a home theater with rich, immersive audio that brings every movie, show and song to life. Whether you're gifting a loved one or upgrading your own setup, Vizio soundbars deliver powerful, crystal clear sound that turns ordinary watching into extraordinary experiences. Stream your favorite holiday Playlist with the iHeartRadio app and discover how good your music can truly sound. Head to Walmart.com and find your perfect Vizio soundbar.

[Washington Post Announcer]

Today, a new year is on the Horizon, and your 2026 savings start here. Right now, you can access the Washington post for just $2 every four weeks. Head into the new year with six months of savings at the special intro rate. After that, it'll cost $12 every four weeks. Cancel anytime. You'll get unlimited access to trusted journalism that helps you understand the year ahead and the world around you. Now's the perfect time to subscribe because great habits and great savings start together. Go to washingtonpost.com iheart that's washingtonpost.com iheart and start your year informed with the Post.

[Joe Getty]

Grocery chain Stu Leonards has gained attention online after it began offering vanilla soft serve dipped in Melted butter.

[Commercial Announcer 1]

So, yeah, we're gonna need those Obamacare subsidies.

[Jack Armstrong]

That might fit into your story about scientists have figured out why ice is slippery. I don't quite understand how you could dip an ice cream cone into melted butter and have that work. Seems like it would just melt your ice cream cone into the melted butter and you'd end up with a big mess.

[Joe Getty]

You'd quickly. You quick dip it and the butter hardens on your ice cream and you have an inedible thing nobody should ever put in their mouth. Yeah, I don't. It's funny that I hear about that and I think, oh, another dumb novelty ice cream flavor. People who are like delighted by that over and over again. Garlic ice cream, you know, pickle flavored ice cream. They're happier than I am. They're lucky. I should envy them. They are. Yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

Beer flavored pizza.

[Joe Getty]

Oh my gosh.

[Jack Armstrong]

People will always react with joy to those stories.

[Joe Getty]

You're right.

[Jack Armstrong]

They are happier than you are.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. Huh. Anyway, so we talked about this scientist.

[Jack Armstrong]

Every that's what she said joke.

[Joe Getty]

Some of them are very amusing. Well, some of them are.

[Jack Armstrong]

Some of them aren't.

[Joe Getty]

You remember for a while we went with behind the scenes. Just like in prison, which. Which is a tougher one to find. It's more. It's a more advanced form of. That's what she said.

[Jack Armstrong]

I got a big laugh out of my brothers. Got. Our old co worker Jay told us this one. One of the funniest things I've ever heard. His thing to say. If somebody walked into a room, so he's having a conversation with somebody, somebody walks up to him, they don't know what you're talking about, and you just say, and that's why women shouldn't pole vault. Anyway, what can I do for you?

[Joe Getty]

Right, Hilarious. Which is very, very funny. Was that Jay or was that Tim? Tim the sales guy? That was Jay. Okay. So anyway, we were talking yesterday about how humans rank on the scale of monogamy compared to other mammals. It was a fascinating discussion. At the top of the list, the California deer mouse is apparently 100% monogamous. And at the bottom is the slutty. Slutty. So a sheep native to Scotland that just will mate with anything that wanders by and is pretty interesting. We got some good email comments too that were intriguing.

[Jack Armstrong]

Are you using the term mate and have sex interchangeably?

[Joe Getty]

Yes. Yeah. Although as we discussed yesterday, with humans, it's much more complicated than other beasts because A, we have birth control, B, we might copulate with multiple Partners and then be monogamous once we started producing.

[Jack Armstrong]

Children, C might have just done three shots of Jagermeister.

[Joe Getty]

Right, yeah. Unfortunate. Anyway, it can skew the results, but. So I did a little digging about. All right, how monogamous are human beings meant to be biologically? Because in, you know, being a human, we have societal pressures as well, cultural norms, religion, that sort of thing.

[Jack Armstrong]

We have a word for that out of Marxism. This is a social construct.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, boy.

[Jack Armstrong]

The patriarchy is pushed upon you.

[Joe Getty]

Shut up now. Yeah, Please be quiet. You woke idiots. Anyway, so I just did a little digging about what do biologists think we're designed to be? And the answer is pretty interesting. Anthropology doesn't really give a clear answer to the question, are we meant to be monogamous or not? Historically, most cultures have allowed polygamy, but within such cultures, most people are monogamous. In the numerous cultures where polygamy is a function of wealth, there are no doubt many monogamous men who would be polygamous if they could buy more wives. And then, of course, there are the rare polyandrous cultures where one woman may have multiple husbands. Other primates, though, offer insights into our human nature. Among the hundreds of primate species, by the way, worth mentioning, every single damn one of them has two sexes, male and female. Anyway, some are polygamous, including our close relatives chimps and baboons. Others are monogamous, like gibbons and marmose sets. Each group has a different cluster of biological and behavioral traits. Here's where I thought. It gets really interesting. Among your polyamorous primates, the males typically spend much of their time competing for high rank and dominance hierarchies. So that gets them to mate with the hot, hot, you know, lady chimps, for instance.

[Jack Armstrong]

So they drive a cool car or have nice clothes.

[Joe Getty]

Right, exactly. Fly private. Anyway, that gives them mating access to females. So in those species, mating access is.

[Jack Armstrong]

Not the sexiest term.

[Joe Getty]

I know, I know, I know. Males are. So in these species, the polyamorous ones, males are far more aggressive, much bigger, heavier and more muscular than the females. And they have bigger canine teeth, the better to slash an opponent with. Male baboons, for example, have twice the body weight and canine length of the females. They are literally twice as big as the females. Such primates are often called, for good reason, tournament species. Ooh, tournament species.

[Jack Armstrong]

Males in these bigger canine teeth. Could I get those implanted?

[Joe Getty]

Oh, absolutely. You could? Yeah, absolutely. Or order away for this supplement. Guaranteed to work. Good luck. Or turning it. So, males in these species have higher metabolic Rates and shorter lifespans than the females. And they basically put zero effort into caring for kids. In other words, all the female gets is the male's genes. And the females select for males with good genes, period. Which has led to the evolution of conspicuous, conspicuous, costly displays in males that advertise good genes. Flamboyant facial coloration, big capes of hair, silver backs. They're the primate equivalents of peacocks with their beautiful feathers.

[Jack Armstrong]

I always thought my flamboyant facial coloration.

[Joe Getty]

Was working for me because the way.

[Jack Armstrong]

I turn bright red when I get mad.

[Joe Getty]

Right, right. Oh, he's sexy. Look how angry he is now. Because the fertile females will mate with multiple males. Tisk. Tisk. Male. Male competition extends to sperm competition. So by primate standards, polygamous male primates have large testes as a percentage of body weight and high sperm production. And they will happily. Yeah, actually. And they'll happily mate with anyone in the county who is ovulating. So they walk around with their long incisors, their huge size, their big balls, the rest of it. Now, among your monogamous pair bonding primates, who's ovulating?

[Jack Armstrong]

I'm ready for a mating episode.

[Joe Getty]

Critically, the males do much of the infant care. Thus you don't see a male indiscriminately mating left and right or fighting others for a chance to do so, since he'll be doing a lot of work. If there's a child, I got a.

[Jack Armstrong]

Stack of laundry you wouldn't believe.

[Joe Getty]

He'll be raising a family. In these primates, there isn't a high degree of sexual dimorphism, meaning huge differences in body size, musculature, metabolism and lifespan. And males don't have those garish secondary sexual characteristics like the polygamous species does. Testes are smaller, sperm count low, mating infrequent. And these profiles are consistent. If 10 seconds into watching a newly discovered type of primate, you see that the males are twice the size of females and have flashing neon noses, the issue is settled. It's a polygamous species. If you can't. If it takes a minute to tell the difference between the sexes, they're monogamous.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, what I think is did this just both ways? Worked, evolutionarily speaking, and could have gone either way. It just went one way for one reason? Or is it that particular animal that way better than the other way?

[Joe Getty]

Don't know enough to answer that question, but it's a good one.

[Jack Armstrong]

My son is super, super into evolutionary stuff and watches gazillions of videos about it and I have learned from him that it's, it's not near. You'd think after all the gazillions of years we'd like really perfected that there's a lot of luck involved. In some ways there's two ways. Sometimes there's two ways to get to the same point, and this way is as good as that way. So human beings, you know, in one part, a different human species did it this way and this human species did it this way. Not for any particular reason, just kind of worked out that way.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. So let's bring it home to humans now. So you get your, your polygamous with their big incisors and their huge size and their short lifespans. The rest of it, then you got the entirely monogamous. They're much harder to tell apart, blah, blah, blah. So by these various biological measures, are human a pair bonding or a tournament species? Neither. Across populations, men are roughly 10% taller and 20% heavier than women. We need 20% more calories and live about 6% shorter, more sexually dimorphic than monogamous species, less than polygamous species. Moreover, compared with, say, monogamous gibbons, human Billy gibbons, for instance, of ZZ Top, human males have bigger testes and higher sperm counts, but pale in comparison to polygamous chimps. Measure after measure, it's the same. Turns out that we aren't monogamous or polygamous by nature. As everyone from poets to divorce attorneys can attest, we are by nature a profoundly confused species somewhere in between.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, we have to be, because we have the ability to think and make decisions and let our instincts run wild or curtail our instincts. If we come up with a world view that convinces us we should.

[Joe Getty]

Indeed. Yeah, indeed.

[Jack Armstrong]

Monkeys are not thinking about what would Jesus do when it comes to, you know, having sex with another monkey.

[Joe Getty]

They should, but they don't.

[Jack Armstrong]

Only hippies who are trying to get laid or going around trying to convince you we're not meant to be monogamous. That's a social construction. Whatever. Shut up.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, you know what? If somebody uses the term social construct for anything, I immediately think, all right, your worldview came from some radical professor. It exists, but it doesn't exist nearly as much as you think it exists there, chum. Anyway, so really interesting demographic data is coming out. We've talked about it before, about women's changing expectations and politics and desire to get married and desire to have kids and that sort of thing. And as we mentioned yesterday, I think it was men, particularly conservative men, are as interested in having children as they have ever been. Well, that's an overstatement, but certainly compared to like 20, 30 years ago, they are absolutely young men are interested in it and women are way less interested. And the more liberal they are, the less interested they are in having children. And there's this imbalance, mismatch between men and women and their desire to get coupled and have children, that sort of thing. And nobody knows where this is going or if it's going to be a long term trend or whatever. The gaps among liberal women are just crazy. They've changed completely in 20 years, 30 years in their attitudes. What seems to be changing is women's expectations. And the likely culprit is men's prospects. Writes. Who is this? She writes really well. Emily Jashinsky for the Washington Post. Do we have time for this? Come on, ladies.

[Jack Armstrong]

You need to find one of those tournament dudes with the really big testicles.

[Joe Getty]

Wow. Wow. Okay. Great historical data shows that when men's educational economic outcomes decline, it is women without a college degree who experience the sharp, sharpest declines in marriage rates. And women's perceived appeal as marriage partners is not declining, but men's is. And what Emily brings home. And maybe when we have more time, we'll talk about this at greater length. But she goes into the whole war on boys in schools, the de industrialization efforts to make schools just custom made for girls and act like boys are unhealthy. And I love this last part. The trend line of women reporting a declining desire to marry may indeed reflect pessimism about their prospects rather than the institution itself. And not for ideological reasons so much as practical ones. If the last several decades have taught us anything about the battle of the sexes, we should remember that the war on boys is also a war on girls.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, you know, I have more to say about that because I know a lot of women who talk about the poor pickings out there for dudes. You know, this is portrayed as women don't want to get married. Okay, maybe they don't want to get married to dudes who live with their parents and play video games all day.

[Joe Getty]

And who have been systematically emasculated by you and the schools you designed.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, that's a complicated mix.

[Joe Getty]

Name in from Katie there. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Nice job. The war on boys is a war on girls.

[Jack Armstrong]

My band is going to be my rock band. My heavy rock band is going to be called Tournament Testicles. That'd be a good name for a band.

[Joe Getty]

I am not going to your shows. I don't care. If there's no cover, I'm not coming.

[Jack Armstrong]

You gotta see the logo.

[Joe Getty]

Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty the Armstrong.

[Jack Armstrong]

And Getty show.

[Commercial Announcer 1]

Did you know Microsoft has officially ended Support for Windows 10? Upgrade to Windows 11 with an LG Gram laptop, voted PCMag's Reader's Choice top laptop brand for 2025. Thin and ultra lightweight, the LG Gram keeps you productive anywhere, and Windows 11 gives you access to free security updates and ongoing feature upgrades. Visit lgusa.com iheart for great seasonal savings on LG Gram laptops with Windows 11. PCMag reader's choice used with permission. All rights reserved.

[Commercial Announcer 2]

The world's best ski and snowboard athletes are chasing medals. Now you can follow their every move. Join Insider, the official US Ski and Snowboard fan loyalty program, and get premium viewing at World cup ski events, exclusive athlete meetups, discounts from brands you love, and a custom welcome gift mailed direct to your doorstep this winter. Show your support as they race for the podium. Head to insider.usski and snowboard.org and join. Today.

[Trainer Games Announcer]

10 athletes will face the toughest job interview in fitness that will push past physical and mental breaking points. You are the fittest of the fit. Only one of you will leave here with an IFIT contract worth $250,000.

[Joe Getty]

This is where mindset comes in.

[Trainer Games Announcer]

Someone will be eliminated.

[Joe Getty]

Pressure is coming down. Trainer Games on Prime Video January 8th. Watch the trailer on trainergames.com this holiday season.

[Jack Armstrong]

Give the gift of incredible sound with Vizios Vizio's full Soundbar lineup available at Walmart. Transform any living room into a home theater with rich, immersive audio that brings every movie, show and song to life. Whether you're gifting a loved one or upgrading your own setup, Vizio soundbars deliver powerful, crystal clear sound that turns ordinary watching into extraordinary experiences. Stream your favorite holiday Playlist with the iHeartRadio app and discover how good your music can truly sound. Head to Walmart.com and find your perfect Vizio soundbar today.

[Washington Post Announcer]

Ever wish you could try the Washington Post and see what all the talk is about? Right now you can, with a one week pass for just $7. No commitment, no strings attached. Just $7 for one week of unlimited access to the Post. It's the perfect way to explore our award winning journalism and experience what subscribers already know. There's nothing else quite like it, so why not give us a try? Go to washingtonpost.com week and start your $7 one week pass today. That's washingtonpost.com week.

[Jack Armstrong]

I got a Santa question for you. So there are two kinds of Santas, and one kind has been growing a lot over the last decades or so. So most of my Santa experience growing up, and I'm talking about the Santa you meet at the mall and then also the kind of Christmas decorations you have. It was kind of a campy, jokey, cartoonish, bright red Santa. And then you've got the other kind that I usually saw in like richer people's houses or whatnot. The much darker red looks like an Eastern Orthodox priest Santa.

[Joe Getty]

Father Christmas.

[Jack Armstrong]

Is that it?

[Joe Getty]

More European.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, yeah, that looks right. Which do you prefer?

[Joe Getty]

I go, you're gonna yell at me for this because you're a monster. I, I kind of like variety of cultural norms involving Christmas. I love Sinter Claus, the, the Netherlands guy who comes with, as David Sedaris famously wrote about six to eight black men and beats the hell out of you if you're a bad kid. But.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, Katie, you have a thought on this?

[Katie]

No, I'm laughing.

[Joe Getty]

You know what I'm talking about.

[Katie]

Yeah, I do. I like the, I like the red, the, the typical one that you see. You see him at like the Santa pub crawls.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, yeah, I kind of like the bright red cartoonish looking Santa.

[Joe Getty]

Right. I'm not gonna do like a Father Christmas type blow up in my yard, for instance. People would look at that and say, what the hell is that?

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, it's, it seems, you know, and this might make some people mad, but I've always felt like that other one kind of is like put trying to push Santa into part of a Jesus story. I mean, it's like a religious figure because it looks very Eastern Orthodoxy church, like.

[Joe Getty]

Well, I hate to contradict your secular humanist filth, but St. Nicholas, please. Anybody? St. Nicholas, it's a religious ceremony. It's a tradition. It's the birth of Christ for the love of heaven.

[Jack Armstrong]

I, I understand that, but I, I.

[Joe Getty]

Have a pretty, I have a pretty stark defining reason for the season.

[Jack Armstrong]

I've got them very divided. The, there's the, the Jesus Christmas and then there's the.

[Joe Getty]

Frosty of. Frosty the Snowman. Right.

[Jack Armstrong]

Bright red. You know, that whole thing, which is they have nothing to do with each other really. And I feel like the other kind of Santa tries to blend them together in a way.

[Joe Getty]

You know, I shouldn't have mocked you. I, I will continue, but I shouldn't have. There's a weird parallel and I, I'm not a scholar on this, so this will be, you know, half assed at best, but a weird parallel between the way the early Christian church co opted pagan holidays and said, hey, this fertility of the, you know, or this fertility festival is now going to be about the resurrection of Jesus. So it's around the same time in the calendar. Let's, let's, let's make it this. It's kind of there's a completely secular holiday that's arisen from Christmas.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, I had the Eastern Orthodox church looking Santa came into the restaurant we were in last night and took some pictures with my kids. He doesn't wear the hat because that's, that would be a little too jokey.

[Joe Getty]

It's a serious man.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, this guy looks serious. No ho ho hoing or anything like that. It was like seriousness. We're down to business.

[Joe Getty]

Armstrong and Getty. Armstrong and Getty Armstrong and Getty Armstrong and Getty.

[Commercial Announcer 1]

Did you know? Microsoft has officially ended Support for Windows 10 upgrade to Windows 11 with an LG Gram laptop. Voted PCMag's Reader's Choice top laptop brand for 2025. Thin and ultra lightweight, the LG Gram keeps you productive anywhere and Windows 11 gives you access to free security updates and ongoing feature upgrades. Visit LGUSA.com iHeart for great seasonal savings on LG Gram laptops with Windows 11. PCMag reader's choice used with permission. All rights reserved.

[Commercial Announcer 2]

The world's best ski and snowboard athletes are chasing medals. Now you can follow their every move. Join Insider, the official US Ski and snowboard fan loyalty program, and get premium viewing at World cup ski events, exclusive athlete meetups, discounts from brands you love and a custom welcome gift mailed direct to your doorstep. This winter, show your support as they race for the podium. Head to insider.comusski and snowboard.org and join. Today.

[Trainer Games Announcer]

10 athletes will face the toughest job interview in fitness that will push past physical and mental breaking points. You are the fittest of the fit. Only one of you will leave here with an IFIT contract worth $250,000.

[Joe Getty]

This is where mindset comes in.

[Trainer Games Announcer]

Someone will be eliminated.

[Joe Getty]

Pressure is coming down. Trainer Games on Prime Video January 8th. Watch the trailer on trainergames.com this holiday season.

[Jack Armstrong]

Give the gift. Everyone will gather around a Vizio Smart TV now available at Walmart. From a super sized 100 inch TV to QLED TVs of all sizes, Vizio delivers breathtaking color and crystal clear picture quality that takes entertainment to the next level. Plus with Watch Free plus built in, they can enjoy free live and on demand TV right out of the box. Have a music lover on your list. They can stream their favorite music on the iHeartRadio app. Ready to go on every Vizio TV. The perfect gift is waiting. Head to Walmart.com and discover Vizio TVs.

[Washington Post Announcer]

Today, a new year is on the Horizon, and your 2026 savings start here. Right now, you can access the Washington post for just $2 every four weeks. Head into the new year with six months of savings at the special intro rate. After that, it'll cost $12 every four weeks. Cancel anytime. You'll get unlimited access to trusted journalism that helps you understand the year ahead and the world around you. Now's the perfect time to subscribe, because great habits and great savings start together. Go to washingtonpost.com iheart that's washingtonpost.com iheart and start your year informed with the Post.

[Jack Armstrong]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.