Jack Armstrong (0:00)

Foreign from the Abraham Lincoln radio studio at the George Washington Broadcast Center, Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty. Armstrong and Getty. And now here's Armstrong and Getty. I want everybody to think about a New Year's resolution because I'm gonna ask everybody because I, for whatever reason, I find it interesting more directionally than like whether you actually succeed with your resolution. It's just what's on a person's mind that they want to do for self improvement for the next year. That's spending time on Dr. Jack's couch. Maybe that's it. As, as I've mentioned, I have sworn off baked goods for 2024 and I don't even think I can actually do it. This is the most challenging one I've ever taken on. I was gonna try to start already because one thing I know about addictions and bad habits. The whole I'll do it on this date is not the way to do it. Do it today. If it's important, do it now. But I can't pass up Christmas cookies. Whatever you call those, those kind of cookies that have the special. I only make it once a year. Christmas frosting. What are those? I got a name. They're white cookies. Frosting on top. The Christmas cookie. I only ever see him at Christmas. It's like a sugar cookie. Sugar cookie, yeah. And I ever see him any other time of the year, especially with that kind of frosting. I gotta eat those. All of this coming from the man who just pulled a fork out of his pocket so he could eat a pie in the parking lot. It's an actual metal fork from a table I had in my pocket of my jacket. I would say for my occasional swearing off alcohols for a period. It's just to become more aware, not be in a habit. Think I'm going to go have a drink because I want to have drink, not because I always do it this time of day, that sort of thing. And perhaps you could do the same with pie now, just become more conscious. I can't do that. I'm an all or nothing person. No, I'm saying. No, I'm saying. But if you take a break for a while and you can't do the whole year as you just suggested, you will have a more, you know, aware relationship with the pie. I doubt it, but it's a good thought. I certainly didn't with donuts. I swore them off for an entire year and then I came back as strong as ever. Well, there's no helping you. No, no, there's not. Other than Abstinence on the things that I can't handle. Well, there you go. Do you. Do you. We have a lot of great clips to get to. We're into October. We're narrowing it down to the clip of the year. The pressure is building. I'm actually starting to get stressed about this. This is the beginning of October, Eclipse of the year. So you took you in. Having a lot of fun here, everybody. Honestly, Tim, I. I think you got a tough job here. I've become friends with school shooters, and I'm proud of that service. Definitely use a lot of fancy words, and I'm a knucklehead at times. That's what I've said. And from that I learned a lot. Thank you, Governor. There's something wrong with Kamala. Only a mentally disabled person could have allowed this to happen. She's a stup. Stupid person. I've only got one vote, and it's one of the most precious possessions that I have. I am proudly casting my vote for Vice president Kamala Harris. Fight, fight, fight. Donald Trump. You never see him around strong, intelligent women, ever. Today we've decided to officially endorse communist Kamala Harris for president. She's a feminoman. She gave Drew Barrymore a hug, an act that symbolized her willingness to wrap her arms around the country and give us all a hug. Whenever Republicans make us feel sad. There's a lot to discuss. We have to move on. The Israelis have said that they have launched a ground incursion into southern Lebanon. We do need to look for ways to de Escalate the tensions. The United States should help Israel drive Hezbollah to the mat and choke it out. You know, I'm dead. I'm de. Tonight, Israel is under attack from Iran. Israel says Iran will pay a price deadly precise and above all, surprising. Well, I hope your beeper doesn't go off. The thing is, is that you just say I should die. You should not. No, I said. You just said I should be killed. We have a lot to get to ahead, gentlemen, on many topics, because what they're telling you is complete bull news. And these politicians don't have a clue, and they're lying. Station the storm zone. What do they need after what you saw today? Oh, in the storm zone. Yes, sir. I'm wondering what storm you're talking about. People never gave a. About us until now. The dock workers calling this a tentative deal, which means pay raises. Eventually I will cripple you in particularly. They were supposed to use the term bonus hole. Yeah, they turned us into the last Shot at the miniature golf course is what they did. Never mind. That was right. Michael's complete inability to do exhale for the tick tock challenge. Oh, that was so good. That was a proud moment. Katie with one of the great lines in the history of the show discussing how the woke crowd wanted to rename the vagina the bonus hole. And you said they've turned us into the last hole of the miniature golf course. In particularly. Particularly needs to be one of the clips. Particularly definitely needs to be only clips of the year. And it's not a clip of the year. But maybe the worst moment in the debates. Of all the bad moments in the debates between Biden, Kamala and Tim Walls, that long answer that we played over and over again trying to explain why he claimed he fought in a war that he didn't fight in or whatever. That was one of the most embarrassing things ever. It was so horrible. It's difficult to picture a worse choice than Tim Walls. And we need to plunge on. Is everybody emotionally ready? I think this is. October was a blockbuster month. We're looking for the clip of the year. Roll on, Michael. Clips of the year. Our biggest threat to democracy is stupid people. I think it's the most important election of our lifetime. She's in a lot of trouble. She can't talk to the press. What would the major changes be and what would stay the same? Sure. Well, I mean, I'm obviously not Joe Biden. I noticed. And so that would be one change in terms of. There is not a thing that comes to mind. Do you think Donald Trump is a fascist? Yes, I do. Neo Nazis, fascists in America. If people still follow this fascist pig, then I don't know what else to say. Springtime for Hitler and Germany. Meanwhile, here's Harris leading a rally that apparently came with free vodka. That's what I'm talking about. There's a lot going on. Like, I don't know if you guys know this, but there's literally a floating island of garbage in the middle of the ocean right now. Yeah, I think it's called Puerto Rico. Obviously, that joke does not reflect the views of President Trump. Never saw him, never heard of him, and don't want to hear of him. The fallout from racist and sexist comments at Donald Trump's Madison Square Garden rally. But I think that we have to stop getting so offended at every little thing in the United States of America. You know, the word garbage is the hottest thing right now. The only garbage I see floating out there is just the porters. Content of that section would not be out of place in the backpack of an extremist. It's clear there are times we have not met our editorial standards. Dear Nike, why won't you stand up for me? Why won't you stand up for me? We are going to recommend to the court that the life without the possibility of parole be removed. They will be eligible for parole immediately. He is the talk of the baseball world in English and Spanish and any other language that's close at hand. Fernando Valenzuela. Can I go back? Can I go back, please? Swing and a miss and the Dodgers are World Series champions. It seems like the celebrations definitely got out of hand. Reports of 4 to 500 people inside of this Nike flagship store. Oh, his hand blew. I know it did. Oh, my goodness, bro. Oh, my God. I will. I will. I like that girl breaking down in the national anthem. Can I go back in time so that this didn't happen? No, no, that's not. Yes or no? There are no rules for this. This is not supposed to happen. The damage is done regardless of what you do at this point. Yes, Michael. I'm back here making notes of my favorite clips. I have a huge list now. I'm having a hard time. We're gonna have to weed it down, man. Yeah. Next couple of commercial breaks are going to be busy. We got to get it down to a manageable level. One thing that struck me from that set was how desperately the media liars tried to turn that stupid joke about Puerto Rico into the scandal that will lose the election. And there was not a vote in America that was cast in either direction because of that. And if it was nothing and if our Kamala. I'd be upset about that. You made that the big news story leading up to that final week. The Puerto Rico thing, that didn't matter to anybody. That. That didn't help her any. And I was hoping from that previous section with Bruce Springsteen that I've seen a lot of people write that maybe it was the death of the whole celebrity influencer with politics. I hope so, because I really think, like, Bruce with that got Trump more votes than it got Kamala Harris. And a lot of that stuff with Beyonce and Oprah and that sort of stuff. I just. I don't. I don't think it works anymore. Yeah, Partly because Trump had the working class and. And they had the zillionaires. Whatever. Whatever guitar players. We got more clips of the year, and then we're going to name the clip of the year, and I want to hear everybody's news, your New Year's resolutions and some predictions and stuff like that. So stay here. Armstrong and Getty chestnuts roasting on the Armstrong and Getty go. Frost nipping at your nose. We're going to do two this segment or one this segment. You tied one here and one at the after the bottom. Yeah, let's do it that way. One here and two after the bottom of the hour. Okay, got three left. Why don't we. Why don't we dive right into it and then reconsider our options? Okay. This is the clips of the year show. And we're also trying to nail down what is the clip of the year. It's a heavy, heavy weight. You think times person of the year is a lot of pressure. This is. You could make diamonds in the studio today, friends, because what if we get it wrong? Right? Right. God help us. This is November. Looking for the clip of the year. It's the clips of the year. The American people want to stop the chaos and end the drama. It is entirely possible that we will not have the opportunity to ever cast a ballot again. These are the kind of guys you like to smack in the ass. I'm going to be toasting Madam President tonight. The winner is Donald Trump. Holy smokes, look what happened. Is this crazy? Clearly, fear and anger is what he was marketing, and it worked. The majority has spoken, and they said they don't care that much about democracy and shall we keep it? A lot of our fellow Americans say we shouldn't. There's misogyny. Some of the most misogynist things I've heard came from black men. What in the Alice in Wonderland nightmares is going on right now? No, no, no, no. It's the economy, stupid. If you want to stand up to Trump, I suggest you don't ever mention him. I suggest you govern. Well, the American experiment endures. We're going to be okay. Only when it is dark enough can you see the stars. Joe and I went to Mar a Lago to meet personally with President elect Trump. Why wouldn. He's killing us. Can we cut the crap here? I am very fastly picking the most epic cabinet of all time. What are you thinking about? Well, we've got Elon and Matt Gaetz. That's an alien versus predator. U.S. attorney General Matt Gaetz, one of the most intelligent members of Congress. I think he's qualified. The more you get to know Matt Gaetz, the less you're gon. You have this stunning reversal. It is clear that my confirmation was unfairly becoming a distraction Hegseth denied the allegations and told police what happened in the hotel that night was consensual. It's increasingly clear it is Donald Trump's world and we're just living in it. I would describe it as God tier level trolling. He said that's part of his aim here, to shake up Washington. The most effective ad that the Trump campaign ran was, you know, Kamala Harris is for they them and Donald Trump is for us. Like that's where the left has a problem. They become the party of the faculty lounge. I'll tell you, I told the president, he comes back, I come back, we fix this. God bless America. My home. Sweet it home. Lady Gaga there. Sorry, Cal is the homan clip. He comes back, I come back, we fix this. S. We're good. Is that worthy of the finals? I don't know. The stress. Damn it. This there's too much. I'm looking at my list here. I don't know what. I'm checking it twice. Not sure which way to turn. How much time do we got, Michael? Depends on your eating habits, Chuck. Yeah. You don't look good to me. It's the last time I could say it this year. We got about a minute. Yeah. Interesting on that front, this is a little bit of a brag. Probably because I've been trying to take care of myself in the last year or so. Common thing divorced people do. So my Henry and I watched Gladiator the other night, the original Gladiator from 2000, because we want to go to the new Gladiator. But I wanted to see the first Gladiator first. I'd forgotten how good that movie is. That's among my favorite movies of all time. That movie is fantastic. But anyway, Russell Crowe is such a stud in that movie. We're the same age almost exactly. Oh boy. I look better than him today. Now at this age, I look better than he does back then, obviously not even close. But you know, lifestyle. It's funny though, in 2000 if you'd have told me me, in a few years you'll look better than him. I thought, how was that happen? Well, he's let himself go a tad. Happens. I think he's got a lifestyle. So we got to get some more clips of the year. We'll pick out the clip of the year. I do want to get to the New Year's resolutions and I got a couple of predictions for next year. Next year 25 is going to be quite a year. Certainly politically anyway. Hopefully not Global War E. All that stuff on the way Armstrong and Gettysburg. The Armstrong and Getty Show. Merry Christmas I wish you a merry Christmas I wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year. I've been looking up at predictions. There's a lot of Travis and Taylor get married or Travis and Taylor break up as predictions for the next year. My money is on breakup. I'm hoping married. Just because I like people getting married, being happy. Well, I tell you what, let's get the work done, then we can play later. It's time to, you know, business before pleasure. Let's plunge on. It's the second half of November. Clips of the year. An update now on the monkeys that escaped Wednesday from a research lab in South Carolina. At least 25 have been recaptured. I like to solve the problem. Okay, well, let's hear it. Treat yourself a round of sausage. No, I'm sorry, that's not it. It's being called the 4B movement. We're not going to settle for low value men that don't respect us anymore. The fact that these crazos are out here, they're like we're not touching men. I hope that means more for me. When I made through this fight and I started training, I said, what the am I thinking? And then he hit him with a right along. Tyson coming forward, but Paul is landing the cleaner, effective punches. We need justice for Peanut. Hours after Mahomes was targeted and with the Chiefs about to kick off Monday night, police say burglars stole $20,000 in cash from Kelce's home and damaged the back door. And there he goes inside the 10 to 5. Oh, the player of the year in the NFL. Are you kidding me? My brother and I are professional actors and we thought, oh, this is our introduction into Hollywood. Still owes us $500. There's already some. Do they like shellac the banana Phrase shellac in the banana is not something we need. Everything is coming up Milhouse and the sad and discouraging Tyson Paul fight. Tyson landed 17 punches and the other day in an interview he said he doesn't remember a lot of the fight. He got hit hard enough early that he just doesn't remember a lot of the rest of the fight, which ain't good for your brain when you're 60 years old. And how about that whole stupid 4B movement? That was a thing for about a cup of coffee. I remember when girls, women were smart and fun and tough and cute and great to hang out with and online saying I'm not going to give myself up to a man who is unworthy Whatever. Oh my God. The Internet is killing humanity. Good luck with that. Well, whatever indeed. Good luck indeed. We're working our way toward the clip of the year. What should it be? Text now. 41529 95KFTC. December is epic. It's sprawling. Here we go. The final month of clips of the year. Those mysterious drones in the skies. For weeks now I'm going to tell you the real deal. Iran launched a mothership. Mothership. A mother, whatever that means. Come on, man. I'm gonna tell you the deal. It's off the east coast of the United States of America. There is no evidence of any foreign based involvement from coastal vessels. It is our job to be vigilant in the federal government on behalf of the American public and we can assure their safety by reason of that vigilance. He needs to wake up, Hank. He's ignoring the Iranian mothership. The new rage item this season is a pard president issuing clemency for nearly 1500Americans. Have you ruled out a pardon for your son? Yes, but he also believes that the war politics infected the process and led to a miscarriage of justice. Why don't you go ahead and pardon Donald Trump? They are the goats of this favorite form of corruption. Government is too big, it does too many things and it does almost nothing well. And the taxpayers deserve better. Trump joked to him then may maybe Canada should become the 51st state and Trudeau could become its governor. A second grade student called 911 to report a shooting had occurred at school. Syria is a dangerous cocktail. This is an amazing geopolitical disaster, particularly for the Russians. You know, 25% chance it turns out real. The rebel tells him there's no more army, no more prisons. Are you serious? He says his real name is in fact Salama, Mohammed Salama. And it's clear that far from being an ordinary guy as he presented himself to be, he was a part of Bashar Al Assad's brutal regime. If the hostages are not released prior to January 20, 2025, there will be all hell to pay in the Middle East. I'm not going to have a drink at all. We really believe that he is not that man he was seven years ago. Cash Patel. He is the most unfairly maligned person that I worked with. Trump's enemies, quote, should be very afraid. Yes, we're going to come after the people in the media. The true test of our commitment is whether in, in the face of an obstacle, do we throw up our hands or do we roll up our sleeves and as we approach Daniel Penny, cleared of all criminal charges. We need some black vigilantes. That's right, Louis G. Mangione. Hear me on this. He is no hero. Why I felt joy, unfortunately, you know, because it feels like serious. I mean, I love that that CEOs are afraid right now. You should be. But I can't tell you, nobody enjoys flying in your airlines. It's a. It's a disaster. Now go poop in a bucket, you beasts. Reminds me of a fortune I got at Panda Express the other night. They say I peed in your rice. It was handwritten. That's. That's more a confession than a fortune. And written. I feed in your say. I can't. I can't. I can't let it go. Maybe I'll never say it again after this year. Kamala Harris's belief that she is clever or poetic or something is so misplaced. The. Do we throw up our arms or do we roll up our sleeves? And she's waiting for the just people. She's waiting for people to put them on her shoulders and carry her out of the room. Because that's a. Oh, they're both arm related situations. I see. That is devastating. Yeah. She drops a cliche on you, then struts around like she unleashed I have a dream. Right. Pathetic. God, please go away. We got another clip. We got another clip. Joe and I both gave each other the eyeball. Mike Johnson's. The government's too big. It spends too much money and it does nothing. Well, is. I could make that the clip of the year. Just because I want it to be, you know, be the clip of the century. I want to be the national motto. Yeah. And ought to be printed on the money. Every time you finger one of your decreasingly valuable dollar bills, you'd see those words. We got a pretty good break. Yes, we do. Damn it. Look at all these things I want to talk about. We're gonna run out of time. Okay. Swear all you want, brother. The clock doesn't lie. We gotta get to clip of the year and a bunch of other stuff. Stay tuned. Armstrong and Getty Soul with a corn cob pipe and a button nose Eyes made out of coal Frosty the Snowman is a fairy tale they say he was made of snow but the children know that he came to life one day. There must have been some magic. Quick predictions I've got for next year. I think we are going with Israel, but we are going to take out Iran's nuclear capabilities, which could lead to regime change or not. I don't know, but we're going to take out their nuclear, which is going to be a big deal. That's going to be a big deal, but I think Trump will do it. I think the Ukraine, Russia, things get settled. Not to my dissatisfaction. Ukraine loses a big chunk of land and it's over. The security assurances are going to be the key there. No doubt. I got one for you. On the domestic scene, the war against woke actually begins as the Trump administration looks at college campuses and the Department of Education looks at elementary education, high schools, that sort of thing. The fight hasn't yet begun. The tax battle is going to be the dominant news story, political story, I think, of the year and it's going to be really maddening the way it's covered. But we'll be here every day to sort through that. Katie, do you have a New Year's resolution? I have, I have a couple. Yeah. I want to try to start journaling because when I write it helps a lot. Yeah, sure. And then the other one is I'm hopefully going to make a baby. Oh, wow. Now that's a New Year's resolution. Yeah. If you need any tips, I've joined in three of I. I got some ideas for you. Thanks, guys. Yeah. Jack, I assume you're about to. You going to turn to Michael next or. Either. Yeah. Michael, what's your New Year's resolution? I want to put a little muscle on my frame and maybe stretch more. Stretch more. That's interesting. I need to get good health. I'm trying to, you know. Yeah, I want to get in good health. You know, I dedicated myself to that this year and it, it feels a lot better, I can tell you that. It feels a lot better. But no baked goods. As I've mentioned many times, I'm going to try to not eat baked goods in time. Hire you. Similar to Katie, who not only stole my thunder, but then did a much cooler one than anybody could match with another baby. I don't want none. You can't have a baby. Yes, I can. Yes, I can. Trans women are women. Oh, boy. Okay. I have a book I have been organizing. I have barely started working on the actual writing, but it's going well. I am going to finish it in the year 2024. Cool. Writing a book, by God. Are you gonna give us a hint as to what it is? No. Fiction or non fiction? It's the. The Time of the Beavers, my seven part science fiction series. I assume it's not non fiction. Non fiction. Correct. Yeah, that's a great project to have. I think so. I'm very excited about it. So Hanson has prepared the finalists. I'm gonna naughty pie. Everybody's got all these cool New Year's resolutions monies. I'm gonna stop eating so much piece. Well, it sounds like a dunder bait. Roll it. Don't mess with the minimum, Eric, unless you want to get the benefit. President Trump, I really don't know what he said at the end of that sentence. I don't think he knows what he said either. Joe, you did such a great job. You answered every question. You knew all the facts. I love you, Joe. One person's socialism is another person's neighborliness. And I come from the middle class. I grew up in a neighborhood of folks who are very proud of their lawn and particularly the return of the sausages, the hostages. I've got a busy day today after the show. A busy day of work. I've got a busy day Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and so on. Let's talk about the fact that President Trump incited an erection and maybe that too. It's spelled fanny. It's spelled fanny like your ass. Right? Fanny. Somebody's bleach blonde, bad built Bush body. That would not be engaging in personalities. Correct. A what now? Yeah. You're not. You don't have enough intelligence. Oh, girl. Baby girl. Oh, really? Government is too big. It does too many things and it does almost nothing. Well. Well. And the taxpayers deserve better. If you want to really see something that said, take a look at what happened in Springfield. They're eating the dogs, the people that came in. They're eating the cats. They're eating. They're eating the pets of the people that live there. And this is what's happening. Happening in our country. And it's a shame. They're eating the dogs, the people that came in. They're eating the cats. They're eating. They're eating the pets of the people that live there. They're eating the dogs. They're eating the cats. They're eating the pets of the people that live there. They're eating the dogs. They're eating the cats. Cats eating the pets of the people that live there. Those are your finalists for clips of the year. Those are all really good. Yeah, that was a montage because a number of the clips were longish and we would have run out of time. We had intense discussions during the commercial break in which there was a great deal of affection for the Peanuts version of. They're eating the dogs, they're eating the cats. The we Almost went with the assassination attempt just because all of us were struck emotionally by adhering today. And I'm not exactly sure why I hadn't heard it in a while or something, or just the full realization of, wow, how different things could have turned out right. And how miserable the Secret Service failures were. It's an incredibly impactful clip. What we ended up going with. Barely, barely. This is one of the toughest decisions ever. This is the longer version because it tells the whole story and changed history. What I've done since, I've changed the law, what's happened, I've changed it in a way that now you're in a situation where there are 40% fewer people coming across the border illegally. That's better than when he left office. And I'm going to continue to move until we get the total ban on the. The total initiative relative to what we can do with more Border patrol and more asylum officers. President Trump, I really don't know what he said at the end of that sentence. I don't think he knows what he said either. There was a lot of buildup to that moment, obviously, as we all know, but that was the turning point. That's when it was cooked. That's when Biden was done. He held on for a while, but that, that, you know, that's when Chuck Schumer, Nancy Pelosi, all the media, that's when everybody's like, okay, this is over. And it was so much more than a Trump wise crack. It was seeing. Saying out loud what everybody saw. Right. And I don't think he does either, is the key. Right? Right. Hanson, real quick. You got a New Year's resolution. Are you gonna. You're gonna do final thought? Okay, we'll let you do final thought. Awesome. Cool. No intro for this one. We got our special clothes. Here's your host for final right in, Joe Getty. Let's get a final thought from everybody on the crew. Michelangelo, lead us off. Just a big thank you to everybody on the staff for working so hard. You guys do a great job, and I hope you all have a great merry Christmas and New Year's. Love working with you guys. Thank you, M Dog. Right back at you, Katie Green, our esteemed news woman. A final, final thought. Katie, I totally echo what Michael just said. Working with you guys is a blast, and I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and happy New Year as well. That's fabulous. Thank you for saying so. Jack, a final thought. Well, we ought to get Hanson first. Huh? Oh, sorry, Hanson. I forgot. Go ahead. Sorry. I'm not used to it. Perfectly fine. Thank God for you, Jack, Joe, Katie and Michael. Without you, I don't know what I'd be doing. Probably collecting nits next to the curb in front of the gas station or something similar. Yeah. Jack, final thought. I love this job. Happy every year that I get to do it. Can't wait to come back and talk about 2025. Thank you to everybody that works on this show. Yeah, my final thought. It is a pleasure and an honor to work with you all. You're just so terrific. We're lucky to do what we do. Thanks everybody for your support, your. Your beautiful notes and emails and stuff like that. We'll be back raring to go in January. I can't believe you have New Year's resolutions. Like have a big baby, write a book and my knees eat less pie. See you next year. God bless America. Hey, if any of you are looking for any last minute gift ideas for me, I have one I like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him bought from his happy holiday slumber over there in Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want to bought right here with a big ribbon on his head and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no good, rotten, four fleshing, low life, snake licking, dirt eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood sucking, dog kissing, brainless, hopeless, heartless, fat ass bug eyed, stiff legged, spotty lipped, worm headed sack of mother he is. Hallelujah. Where's the Tylenol Armstrong and Gettysburg?