Jack Armstrong (0:00)

Foreign. From the Abraham Lincoln Radio Studio at the George Washington Broadcast Center, Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty. Armstrong and Getty. And now, here's Armstrong and Getty. Welcome to the Clips of the Year show last night. Live show of the year. Then we'll take a couple of weeks off, which we've earned. You think it's easy to come in every day and ramble a couple of hours about what you saw in the news last night? It's not. All right. We got this note from. Let's see. It's G. Are you effing kidding me? Another vacation. Just kidding. Been listening since the 1800s. Show you help me get out of bed in the morning. Merry Christmas to you and your family. Safe travels. That made me laugh out loud. Thanks, G. Speaking of travels. Since the 1800s. Speaking of travels, I don't care about the government shutdown at all. I mean, I just don't care. But two quick things. One, all the mainstream media blaming Elon Musk. He's a neophyte. He doesn't understand politics. He's out of his depth. Yeah, like this has all been going smoothly all these years before Elon got involved. This is a new thing. We're committing financial suicide. Wow. Because we've never had these. Shutdown, Cliff. Government shutdown. Almost here. Things before. Only Elon. And secondly, you might wonder. Tsa. So the government's going to shut down at midnight tonight, barring something. And TSA is excluded because it's essential, so it shouldn't have any effect on your travel. Yes, Excellent, excellent. The weather, on the other hand, is another. That's not good. So much to squeeze in today, but we need to get right to Clips of the Year. We've made it to April if you missed our one. As always, you should subscribe to Armstrong and Getty on Demand, the podcast so you can go back and get stuff you couldn't listen to live. But this is the beginning of April. Clips of the year. A massive escalation as airstrikes target a building belonging to the Iranian embassy in Syria. Top Iranian general, Mohammad Sahedi reportedly killed in the strikes. So what is your privilege to Iran in this moment? I have one word. Don't. Don't, Don't. Iran has just responded. Did. About 30 minutes ago, more than 300 drones and missiles launched at Israel. The US fighters alone shooting down those 80 armed drones. I can't imagine a better day. Get the hell out of here. You too, Slumpo. Stumpo. I don't like the sound of that squish. If it doesn't fit. You must acquit. Two months ago, O.J. simpson dispelled rumors that he was close to death. A Thursday we learned he lost his battle with cancer. I'm just saying it is especially important that we remember the power of young people shaping this country. Is there something that NYU is doing? I really don't know. I'm pretty sure there. Do you know what NYU's doing? I wish I was more educated. We are a mess. You are a must. Wow. Be glad. Be grateful that I'm not just going out and murdering Zionists. Google, Google. You can hide. You are funding genocide. You guys are all horrible human beings, and Jesus probably would have killed you himself. And so when these fools ask us if Israel has a right to exist, the chant Death to Israel has become the most logical chant. What's the message to Joe Biden? You imagine what we can do next? Four more years. Pause. Four more years. Four more years. Next question. Who I call on next? Hang on a second. I got my list here. Hang on. I apologize. They're important foreign products. I'm exporting for their products. He got shot down in New guinea and they never found the body because there used to be a lot of cannibals for real in that part of New Guinea. This guy lies. What he lies most about is his golf handicap. He's not only is he not a six, he's not a 36. No, no, no. Let's be very clear. You gotta actually ask me the question in context of what it was said. Right? And what it was said. Calling on Crooked Joe to debate anytime, any place. We'll do it any way you want, Joe. President Biden is much worse threat to democracy. Trump may be playing Russian roulette, but continuation of the Biden administration is national suicide. Donald Trump. Yeah, that's my president. Hey, Donald Trump. Y. Yeah, that's my president. Let's go. Oh, boy, that was action packed. I mean, in terms of clips of the year nominees, I think the college protesters. All those clips together with the. Do you know what NY is doing about what? I wish you were more educated. They're out there freaking protesting and they have no idea why. How much does that tell you? Also, though, short, Katie, the four more years. Pause, pause. And keeping in mind now friends, this is April. It was two more months until the debate in which the entire Democratic Party, other than Dean Phillips, that young congressman, ran against Biden. The entire party is saying, oh, he's sharp as tack. You can hardly keep up with him. He's fantastic. And. And it was several months before he dropped out. Also, perhaps worthy clip of the year just because I quoted him so many times is Bob Barr saying Trump may be Russian roulette but continuation of Biden would be national suicide. I thought that was from a moderate Republican respected on both sides of the aisle. That was powerful. Made an impression on me. Coming up, we'll share with Katie the complete list of things Jack has never had nor done. I'm so excited about this. Continue on with our list of band names from this year, including aquatic Drones, Chilean ninjas and Poaching Manatees, my new indie rock band, as opposed to Dutch Milking Robots, my new punk band. All right, let's keep, keep on keeping on. This is the second half of April Clips of the year. Donald Trump will become the first former president to stand trial as a criminal defendant. It's a scam. It's a political witch hunt. And I'm sitting here for days now from morning till night in that freezing room. Freezing Non disclosure agreements are not illegal and neither is trying to influence an election. Blanche called that quote democracy chicks and also some chicken. The folks in Ukraine are breathing a huge sigh of relief. This is a historical moment. I want to thank you for such significant support. If Putin tried triumphs in Ukraine, the next move of Russian forces could very well be a direct attack on a NATO ally. In fact, our reverence for the truth might be a distraction that's getting in the way of finding common ground and getting things done. Should squatters have rights? Properties shouldn't just sit empty. And if they are, they should be seized by people who need them. It's probably time for us to dissolve our marriage. Ah, he gave him chicken. He's a man of the people. Altogether, this administration will begin to Cancel up to $20,000 in interest for millions of borrowers. It is 375 years for a total solar eclipse to occur. That's unbelievable. I did not know we felt something truly miraculous. And I want to do it again. It was so wonderful. You know I'm a cat right now. Yeah, I'm a giant cat. Damn right you are. That feeling times 10. I'm praying that this $20 will actually do something for me. And my. Just to think that they were able to go through the security system and get away with all that money is. It's a shocker. You've got to be kidding me. Caitlin Clark matches a career high with nine threes. Happy Trans Day of visibility. The Transvestite Recognition day. Transgender. I'm sorry. Yeah, it was a slip of the tongue. And each sex is deserving of equal opportunity, privacy and safety. It's wild that we live in a time where that now requires bravery. I think maybe NPR CEO Katherine Mayer with her statement that sometimes looking for the truth actually gets in the way of building consensus. Pretty good. I don't know if it's clip of the year in terms of entertainment, but it might be one of the more important things out there that someone at the highest level of education believes that sort of crappy. Yes, Katie, my vote on that one is trump with the 30 milkshakes and also some chicken. Yes, chicken. Absolutely has to be. I mean that I could see making that clip of the year. That's how much I like. No, no, no. I know how amused you were by that. I love chicken. Like the Republicans and Democrats in Congress right now, Jack, we may have to reach a difficult compromise that cannot be the clock of the year. I hope Elon Musk doesn't insert himself. That'll just make it more difficult. 30 milkshakes and also some chicken. Weirdly amusing. Oh yeah, And I forgot, I forgot so much of that stuff. The hubbub toward the beginning of the year with the colleges and the protests and all that sort of stuff. What a crazy time. Yeah, yeah, Absolutely true. So we could take a break semi in time and come back. We still have a lot of clips of the year to squeeze in. Not to mention ban names, book titles, original air names, a few facts about Gladys. Michael, you'll enjoy that. I'll enjoy that a lot. I don't know if Glattus will like it, but yeah, Glattus is our harp player. So we've got all that on the way. I hope you can stay here. Last show of the year, Armstrong and Getty. Rudolph the red nose reindeer had a very shiny the Armstrong and Getty show. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows all of the R. Oh man. We got a text from somebody said their, their, their favorite thing is the list of things I've never done every year. So I guess we'll get to that later in the show. We will absolutely get to that. We'll try to squeeze it in this hour. I remember, Jack, it was years and years ago that we first interviewed Gladys, our harp player who plays that R. That same riff anytime we reminisce about things long ago. Few facts we learned about Gladys this year compiled by mary in the ho. Thanks, Mary. She is a World War I vet, right. That it's affected her hearing. She's just sticking around for the health insurance. She had a threesome with Herbert Hoover and Charles Lindbergh in 1928. Oh, my God. She claims to have carpal tunnel syndrome, but there's a video of her playing pickleball on the weekend. She was at the convention when they nominated Theodore Roosevelt. They were briefly linked. And finally, she is trying to quit caffeine. But there's no time for such frivolity. We've got to plunge ahead. As we look back, it's May. The clips of the year. Clips of the year. The vibes in here are amazing today. Not 100 more times. Not a thousand more times. Not a thousand times. The river to the sea. I mean, it's crazy to say because we're on an Ivy League campus, but this is like basic humanitarian aid we're asking for, like, could people please have a glass of water? Help me find a hoodie. I'm a UCLA student. I deserve to go here. We pay tuition. This is our school. They went at each other with pepper. Pepper spray. They went at each other with firecrackers. About half of those were not students at all, but outsiders. Everything. Everything about this is lawless. Jews in LA have had enough. This may be Biden's Vietnam. On the other hand, I'm a gifted puppeteer and I wanted to introduce you to my puppet, Fuzzy Bear. Fuzzy, what do you think? I'm glad they whooped their ass. I wish they'd whip more ass. Oh, Fuzzy Bear. I'm glad they beat them down. And I hope that spreads all across the country. You better believe I want this man to go down and rotten side for what he did to me and my family. That is the best proof that you have that if they're going to get him going or get him coming, this is law fair. This is a sham trial. Where's the crime? There is no crime. I've been indicted more than the great Alphonse Capone. The late, great Hannibal Lecter is a wonderful man. He oftentimes would have a friend for dinner. Former president getting a standing ovation from the assembled masses. The round of applause he's getting right now is pretty staggering. If you like puppies, you're not gonna like Kristi Noem. She murders puppies. You said he smelled and would chase kids. So you took him to the gravel pit and shot him twice. How? How do you justify that? How was the goat a threat? How many people is enough people to be attacked and dangerously hurt before you make a decision on a dog? Mexico has elected its first woman president. Congratulations. Screamed Hillary Clinton into a pillow. President Biden is in trouble politically. He's polling right up there with fungal infections. This action will help us gain control of our border. We're taking it to the drug cartels. How do we have a large body of people that are in our city and country that are excellent swimmers. It is my testimony that the border is secure. Just that very simple one there at the end. The border is secure. Might be the clip of the year. I forgot about Fuzzy Bear. Yeah, Fuzzy. I. I would have lived the rest of my life never having thought about Fuzzy. Be I. Fuzzy needs to come back. Yeah. Fuzzy is. Is my puppet who doesn't give an s what might get us in trouble and just says what he's thinking. He speaks truth to power. Yes, he does. But yeah. That border clip from the river to the sea. All those freaking college radicals have no idea. They couldn't name the river nor the sea. They have no grasp of it. They're just indoctrinated by their. Their professors. Yeah. Know. Oh, the border is secure. That's my testimony. I can't wait to never hear from him again. Yeah, no kidding. Where's that? You know. And that waste of skin is probably going to go run some organization with an incredibly high salary. Yeah. Because that's what those people do. Yeah. Seriously. He should be skinned and his skin given to burn victims. Wow. Wow. Accident victims. And. And those badly sunburned. He is literally a waste of skin. Now that's a hot take. He should be skinned. That sounded like something Fuzzy Bear. Yes, exactly. Not. Not the actual host. Oh, shoot. I wrong. That's. It was his line, not mine. I read his line. Sorry. We've got more koi clips of the year on the way. Which we will get to as we try to narrow down the clip of the year. We got some more of the band names and other stuff too. Hope you can stay here. Clips of the year show Armstrong and Getty while a Mary. The Armstrong and Getty show. Happy holiday to you. Happy holiday. I hadn't worn this coat in a while and I thought, what is that in my pocket? And it's a fork. Like an actual metal table fork. We should add a guessing game. That would have been fun. And sticky. It's sticky because of pie. Because I was sitting in the parking lot. I took a fork with me to the grocery store knowing I would eat the pie in the parking lot. And I wanted a real fork. Which is one of the reasons my New Year's resolution is to give up baked goods. And I will be asking all of you for your New Year's resolutions later in the show. Well, it's a high grade for planning to have an actual fork in your pocket. A really confusing juxtaposition of self discipline and utter lack of self discipline in that story. I have to tell you, fork was not on my bingo card for that. Yeah, exactly. We could have guessed all day and I got in there. So coming up, this half hour, blockbuster half hour, we've got to finish up May and get into June clips of the year. Plus next segment, things Jack has never done, had nor done. It's an amazing list, difficult to explain, but you'll get it when you hear it. But first, let's plunge on into May. It's koi clips of the year. Make my day, pal. So let's pick the dates. Donald, I hear you're free on Wednesdays. Least blonde, bad built, butch bodies. A what now? Yeah, you're not. You don't have enough intelligence. Oh, girl. Baby girl. Oh, really? Even play here's a little ditty about Jews in Hamas. These are degenerate savages. We're not going to supply the weapons. And the artillery shells used that have been used. Artillery shells as well. Yeah. This is insane. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my friggin life. The Biden administration moving forward with a $1 billion arms deal with Israel. A shipment of 3,500 bombs last week. Thank you, Dr. Fauci, for your appearance today. The investigation of Dr. Fauci shows he is an honorable public servant and he is not a comic book super villain. Do you represent science, Mr. Fauci? Yes or no? Yes or no? Dr. Moran testified that he could walk into your office anytime he wanted to. Is that true? No. Did he ever walk into your office? I would say say he did occasionally. Our constitution is much more important than jail. It's not even close. At times, Stormy Daniels appeared really quite tense. She testified Trump was on the bed in his boxer shorts and T shirt. Forgive the pun, straight from the horse's mouth. This is one of the low moments in American history. Tis the trio of House committee chairs accuse James Biden and Hunter Biden of lying to congressional investigators. Hunter Biden was a crack cocaine user using roughly every 20 minutes. At times, crack takes you into the darkest recesses of your soul. We're working expeditiously. What does that mean, though? Very short order. We'll have the. What does short order mean? Well, the. Some of this stuff gets. They they Boy Scouts of America is changing its name, soon to be known as Scouting America. The announcement is about me. Well, color me intrigued. The less secure and confident you feel in the direction, the more surprises and excitement you will have in store. That's good. Oh, and, and I didn't want to see. I didn't want to look and see how bad it was. I didn't know if like my kneecap was hanging off or what. Oh, boy. Well, when was that? What was the time period on that? That's when I had my second half of May. Yeah. Yeah. So is bad built body and beach body. Whatever she said. And girl, baby girl. The same clip. Is that all one clip? Yes. That's their back and forth. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. In the finals for clips of the year. I keep forgetting to say this too. If you hear a clip in particular, you're already thinking one that must be in the finals for clips of the year. For clip of the year year, you can email us mailbagarmstrongandgetti.com or text us 415295kftc. A couple of people wanted Fuzzy fuzzy Bear. Fuzzy bear to bear in the clips of the. And we also got this from your story earlier. The squirrels are eating the voles and the cats and they're eat. They're eating. The squirrels are eating the pets of the people who live there. All right, well played. Shall we plunge, John? Sure. We're into June. It's the clips of the year. Immigration migration is a dynamic phenomenon. The alleged killer of 37 year old Rachel Morin, a 23 year old illegal immigrant from El Salvador. All eight of these Tajik nationals crossed illegally into the US and received full vetting by DHS. Our model worked. We drove the numbers down. They, they go down, they go up. You're gonna go and start a new migrant fight league. And then there was this moment. Our values and our way of life are the antidote to the poisonous populism of the right. About 20 suspects using hammers and other tools to break into jewelry cases. Facing calls to step down and embroiled in a widespread FBI investigation. Oakland's mayor blamed her troubles on everyone. I mean, do you have confidence in the Supreme Court? No, I think they've gone rogue. We are going to show AIPAC the power of the mother South. Pro Southern Russia. Multiple heavily armed gunmen appear to have simultaneously attacked two churches. Julian Assange agreed to plead guilty to one felony count of conspiracy to unlawfully obtain and disseminate classified information. A warm welcome as Vladimir Putin visits North Korea for the first time in nearly 25 years. People, I mean, they do this all the time, but they were clapping as if they were. Their lives depended on it. It is disturbing for the North Korean regime when these soldiers are listening to the music and then they start humming the tunes. You know what I'd do if there was a shark? Or you get electrocuted? I'll take electrocution every single time. Caitlin Clark said she has no disappointment over being left off. Team USA for the Paris Olympics. The idiocy of Team USA women's basketball. The US Surgeon General pushing for social media apps to carry tobacco sty labels. LAUSD banning the use of cell phones, leaving students no choice but to vape with both hands. Letting your kids see you run. I don't care how hard it's raining or if you're trying to catch an airport shuttle. Seeing this will damage them more than looking at the eclipse. Wow, didn't hear much. We've got to have something immigration related in the clips of the year final. We have the border is secure which might be my clip of the year. Right? Yeah. Every time I hear mayorkas it like it cuts my lifespan by another hour just hearing his voice. Yeah, the, the, the. The bile tries to climb up my throat and escape. He's horrible. I've got a busy day Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and so on. Yeah, definitely. That could be clip of the year. It really could be. That's pretty good. Moron. He is the anti Israel chance. I am Hamas. I am Hamas. In the Caitlin Clark Olympics thing I was thinking and, and I don't want to generalize because many women are perfectly sane and reasonable on this stuff. But, but it. The NBA does fine with this stuff. The wnba, which is like all women on the court and women coaches sometimes. And women orange. They appear to be way further down the woke road. Absolutely. There's just something about it. It's more appealing to women, I suppose. But as voting patterns would certainly indicate. So we've got another round of clips of the year. We have the list of things I've never done which I'm always amused by actually myself. Also a couple of nuggets out of the Pentagon put out a big end of the year report yesterday. Couple of really important things you should know that I'll jam into. So all that's on the way. Armstrong and get it. Bring some. Bring some Cokes in, please. Yep. Yeah, absolutely. This is a crisis. It's 100 on the crazy meter and everyone knows it Let me say. Let me say one thing and lots of luck in your senior year. This is the Armstrong and Getty show show the Armstrong and Getty showing you be of good cheer. A number of people reminded me online that Joey from Friends carried a real table fork in his pocket regularly in case something came along to eat. Me too. That's why I swore off baked goods. We got this text. I'm inspired by you giving up baked goods for the new year. I'm going to give up cheap disease with which I have a dysfunctional relationship. Wow. So the Pentagon put out its. Oh, we got more clips of the year coming up in a second. The Pentagon put out its end of the year report yesterday. A couple of things I want to just jam in real quick. One, we have 2, 000 troops in Syria, not 900, which is the number of events for whatever that matters. And this week we have zero troops in a war zone, an active combat zone. And this. The Pentagon announced yesterday China expanded their nuclear arsenal last year. Year by 20%. 20% increase in the number of nuclear weapons by China last year. You don't do that for no reason. No, no. They're planning to take over the world, according to some and some are correct. Back to clips of the year in a moment. But first, the list of things Jack has never had nor done that he mentioned this year, compiled by Mary in the Ho. Never been on Tinder. Never been to an NFL playoff game. Never had a Fluffer Nutter. I have not. Never had a frozen Pop Tart. True. Never known a successful couple that took Valentine's Day seriously. That is also true. Never had a super hot Taki that's a chip of some sort. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never tried meth. Never went to Hooters. Never saw a minute of Baywatch. Never heard the word Pancetta. Never saw a second of Joni Loves Chachi. No. Has. Has. Never seen the Matrix. Right. As every male in the audience says. What? Never had a butterscotch brownie. Neither has Katie. Yeah, I hear they're good. Yeah. Oh, they're terrific. Yeah. Never been to a Kentucky Derby party. Never had a massage. Never been in a jury room. Never seen the Imitation Game. Never been to the World War II Museum in New Orleans. Never had a lap dance. Never bought anything from a hotel minibar. Never used a bidet. Never known anyone who wants to ban contraception. Never entered a pie eating contest. Sorry. Never been to Disney World. Yeah, yeah, no kidding. An endurance one. I try every. Mainly. Never eaten at a fancy ramen restaurant. Never Break dance. Never had an Indian taco, never served ice cream on a plate, never understood nudists, never carried a pager. Jack has never worn bike shorts. He has never had an uncrustable. He had never had a political lawn sign and has never seen the exorcist that goes in with the hall of fame of I've never had wrench dressing and I've never been to Taco Bell. Correct. Yes. Yes, Those are the all timers. Are you sure you're an American? This was bulge. I would shoot you in the chest because I could tell you're a German spy. Hey, we need to plunge ahead in looking back, it's the second half of June. Eclipse of the year. She knows. So long as I see nine. I think you all have called this the cheap fakes video. At the end of the event, Obama prompted Biden off the stage by the wrist. This did not happen in a sense of what people were saying saying they were seeing. Right, Secretary. All kidding aside, I think he should take a cognitive test like I did. I took a cognitive test. And if you could name three LGBTQ advisors for your campaign and three drag queens. I won't dignify this question by actually naming exactly who they are. You don't have a favorite drag queen. A Long island woman is suing the ice cream chain Cold Stone Creamery over no real pistachios in her pistachio ice cream boy. Don't make me boycott scotch. I mean, seriously, don't make me. I'll get the DTS. I think I'm responsible for 10% of their GDP. Former NSync band member Justin Timberlake has been arrested for driving while intoxicated. The disturbing images of Stonehenge climate activists spraying orange powder on the ancient monument Lego stores have become hot targets for some California theft rings. It's so hot in South Dakota. Christy Gnomes dogs are shooting themselves still haunted by crushed tots. Give me some of your tots. I don't know. So after the play date, I text your mom and I said, thanks for letting Jamie play today. Please help out with your share of the expenses for the play date totaling $15 via Venmo. Let's do it again sometime. Stop coddling your kids, especially your sons. Stop raising pansy ass kids. So my dad came into the dugout and Looney Tunes style, kick me out onto the field. Excuse me, with dealing with everything we have to do with. Look, if President Trump. I really don't know what he said at the end of that sentence. I don't Think he knows what he said either. By the way, I told you before, I'm happy to play golf if you carry your own bag, think you can do it. But I have. You know how many good I've seen you swing? I know you obvious way. President Trump challenged me to a golf match. He can't hit a ball 50 yards. He is the worst president. He just said about me because they said it. But look, if he wins this election, our country doesn't have a chance. Not even a chance. So we've had quite a few people unprompted say their clip of the year is. I don't know what he said. And he doesn't know what he said either because that ended Biden's correct career. Changed history. Changed history, no doubt. And I'd forgotten how that debate devolved into arguing about which 80 year old could win. It was embarrassing for America, nay for humanity. On the other hand. And I don't want to prejudge because we still have half of the year of clips of the year to go. If anything beats that, it's the leader in the clubhouse. As we say in the golf world, if anybody beats. I don't know what he said and neither is he. That'll be notable. Yes. Katie, I'm just shocked by hearing these. All these clips back to back of Biden. You can hear the decline. Yeah, yeah. Last year. You can, yeah. It's amazing. And so that Obama leading him off stage by the hand was in the same period roughly as the debate. That's a rough period for Biden. And was that not the George Clooney event? Yeah, the infamous event that George finally felt the need to tell the truth that was self evident to all of America and wrote an op ed for the New York Times. You know, Politifact are ass clowns okay? They just, they are. It's a left wing propaganda outfit. But for them to say they're eating the dogs and cats is the political lie of the year. I mean they have be clown themselves so clownishly. It's, it's, it's exquisite. It's really amazing. Well, if you mean to hire birthday clowns, don't accidentally get ass clowns. It's just completely different thing. Yeah, yeah, it's right. It's a whole different field. It's almost. Even though I lived through it and we've talked about it for a gazillion hours, it's almost impossible to believe that we were headed down the road of Joe Biden running again and half the country pretending he could be. Well, all the media, 85% of America, knew he couldn't be president again, but it's hard to believe that that even happened. It bears reflecting on thinking about. I'd say that's how off they can be. These stars of the screen that get paid millions of dollars in Manhattan. They're full of crap. How. How was it an earthquake when George Clooney wrote that op ed saying he doesn't think Joe Biden could be president? How is that a political earthquake when everybody could see it? Only that it was a permission slip for the liars to stop lying briefly? Wow, man, we dodged a bullet there. We got a lot more clips of the year on the way. Stay with us. Armstrong and Gettysburg.