Thieves Are Going To Break In & Steal My Genitals!

Summary

Podcast Summary: Armstrong & Getty On Demand – "Thieves Are Going To Break In & Steal My Genitals!"

Release Date: May 7, 2025
Host/Author: iHeartPodcasts

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1. Geopolitical Tensions: India vs. Pakistan

[00:57 - 02:33]

Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty open the episode by discussing escalating tensions between India and Pakistan. Recent reports from CNN highlight India deploying fighter jets into Pakistan, marking a significant escalation in their longstanding conflict. Joe Getty expresses concern over India's advanced military actions, stating, “I just looked up free. I can’t believe this is even happening” [01:36]. Both hosts ponder whether this confrontation will remain a minor "dust up" or escalate into a major war, emphasizing the precarious nature of nuclear-armed nations clashing.

2. Critique of President Joe Biden’s Public Appearances

[02:33 - 05:05]

The conversation shifts to domestic politics, focusing on President Joe Biden’s recent public appearances. Joe Getty criticizes Biden’s physical appearance during a BBC interview, remarking, “He looks a million years old” [01:41], and mocks the upcoming appearance of Biden and First Lady Jill on "The View." Jack Armstrong draws parallels to a "64-year-old Madonna" struggling to maintain a youthful image, suggesting that Biden and Jill are similarly out of touch and overly concerned with their public personas. The hosts lament Biden’s perceived lack of self-awareness and diminishing support within his own party, questioning his relevance and effectiveness as a leader.

3. Trump’s Proposal to Make Canada the 51st U.S. State

[05:05 - 10:15]

A significant portion of the episode delves into former President Donald Trump’s provocative suggestion to annex Canada as the 51st state. Joe Getty recounts Trump’s assertion on social media: “Canada needs to be the 51st state” [04:29], outlining supposed benefits such as lower taxes and enhanced military protection. Jack Armstrong humorously critiques the feasibility of this proposal, noting, “But, Canada is not for sale” [07:10].

The Canadian Prime Minister, Mr. Carney, responds diplomatically, emphasizing the strong bilateral relationship and rejecting the notion of annexation. He stated, “Canada loves us and we love Canada” [07:54], reinforcing the idea that Canada is an independent and valuable ally. The duo discusses the absurdity of the proposal, highlighting poll data indicating that “90% of Americans don’t think Canada should be a 51st state” [09:26]. They conclude that Trump’s remarks are more about asserting dominance than genuine policy, ultimately dismissing the idea as “silly” [09:40].

4. The Real ID Act: Compliance and Controversies

[10:15 - 33:29]

Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty undertake an in-depth analysis of the Real ID Act, a federal law aimed at enhancing security by standardizing state-issued identification. They trace the law’s origins back to the Oklahoma City bombing in 1995 and its subsequent reinforcement post-9/11. Joe Getty humorously explains the colloquial origin of the term “Real ID”: “...we call those our real id” [22:31].

The hosts critique the implementation challenges across various states. They cite low compliance rates, particularly in states like New Jersey with only 17% compliance [26:42] and California hovering between 40-60% [27:21]. Issues such as bureaucratic inefficiencies, stringent documentation requirements, and public resistance are highlighted as major barriers. Jack Armstrong remarks on the fragmented nature of the program: “Most states use a star or a star inside a circle...” [25:07].

The conversation touches on the practical difficulties faced by citizens, including Joe Getty’s personal struggles with obtaining a Real ID due to middle name documentation issues on utility bills. They debate the effectiveness of the Real ID Act, with Jack Armstrong sarcastically suggesting extreme consequences for non-compliance, such as intensified security measures at airports [29:57]. Despite the humor, both hosts express skepticism about the law’s success and its impact on everyday Americans.

5. Youth Vulnerability to Online Criminal Networks

[33:29 - 38:28]

The discussion pivots to the FBI’s warnings about a shadowy network, identified as "764," targeting teenagers on social media and gaming platforms. This group allegedly extorts minors into sharing violent and sexual content. Joe Getty expresses surprise and concern as a parent: “I am a parent of teenagers who’d never even heard of that in my life until two seconds ago” [34:13]. He emphasizes the overwhelming number of potential threats modern youth face compared to past generations.

Jack Armstrong relates the dangers to previous cyber incidents, such as the hacker group that disrupted Las Vegas casinos, describing them as “a very loosely assembled group” [34:59]. They discuss the exponential increase in opportunities for youth to engage with malicious actors online, underscoring the importance of parental vigilance. Joe Getty shares his frustration with the challenges of monitoring his teens without being overly intrusive, reflecting the delicate balance parents must maintain [35:26].

6. Reflections on Modern Societal Challenges

[38:28 - 40:19]

In the latter part of the episode, Armstrong and Getty reflect on broader societal issues, drawing parallels to cultural phenomena and historical events. Jack Armstrong references the "Green Slime" from the original Ghostbusters movie as a metaphor for societal decay and increasing global unrest [37:15]. They express a sense of pervasive angst and instability, noting the volatility of political incumbents worldwide [37:56].

Joe Getty contemplates the direction of society, questioning whether to adapt to the worsening conditions or continue in resistance. The discussion hints at a pessimistic outlook on the future, with both hosts acknowledging the complexity and gravity of contemporary challenges [38:18].

7. Closing Thoughts and Final Remarks

[38:38 - 39:08]

As the episode wraps up, Armstrong and Getty briefly touch on upcoming segments, teasing a "Campus Madness update" for the next hour. They maintain their signature humor and critical tone, leaving listeners with a sense of anticipation for future discussions [38:27 - 38:38].

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Notable Quotes

• Joe Getty on India-Pakistan Tensions: “I can’t believe this is even happening” [01:36]
• Joe Getty Critiquing Biden: “He looks a million years old” [02:33]
• Jack Armstrong on Trump’s Annexation Proposal: “But Canada is not for sale” [07:10]
• Joe Getty on Real ID Compliance: “I just don’t have a real id” [21:10]
• Jack Armstrong on Real ID Consequences: “If it were up to me, you know what? You’d get that little QR code and they’d hit you with a night stick” [29:57]
• Joe Getty on Online Threats to Teens: “Let’s just put that on the long list of things you can be concerned about if your kid’s got a phone” [34:13]

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Conclusion

In this episode of "Armstrong & Getty On Demand," Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty navigate a diverse array of topics, from international conflicts and domestic political critiques to legislative analyses and societal concerns about youth safety online. Their blend of humor, skepticism, and critical insight provides listeners with a comprehensive overview of pressing issues, delivered in a conversational and engaging manner.

Transcript

[Michael]

You're listening to an iHeart podcast. Time is precious and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24,7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments and shipping is always free. With Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year round peace of mind when it comes comes to their vet care.

[Jack Armstrong]

Broadcasting live from the Abraham Lincoln radio studio at the George Washington Broadcast Center, Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty. Armstrong and Getty. And now here's Armstrong and Getty.

[Joe Getty]

Man, I'm looking at CNN in a number of places leading with India, Pakistan. As India flew fighter jets into Pakistan and that's a pretty major hits further in than they've ever done before.

[Jack Armstrong]

Pakistan claims they downed a couple of Indian jets. Everybody's working to verify all the, you know, claims on each side.

[Joe Getty]

A couple of nuclear powers and this is either a minor dust up that will go into the long list of dust ups over the last 70 years or become a giant, giant war. It's hard to say. Anywho, I just looked up free. I can't believe this is even happening.

[Jack Armstrong]

Boy, how many times have I said that in recent days? As I look at the modern world.

[Joe Getty]

I can't believe Joe Biden sitting in a chair doing an interview. So he did an interview with the BBC. I haven't heard any of it, but he looks a million years old. He looks older than he looked when he left the scene a year ago. And now he's gonna be. Him and Jill are gonna be on the View today and they're criticizing Trump on policy. What do they think they're doing? Who she must be in. She is. She's like Belichick's girlfriend. I mean, she has just taken over from an old man and is making bad decisions.

[Jack Armstrong]

Reminds me of when a 64 year old Madonna did a tour in which she was gyrating and showing her crotch and the rest of it. She just couldn't give up the sex pot thing. Well, Joe and Jill cannot give up the we're important, relevant movers and shakers thing. They're, they're congenitally unable to.

[Joe Getty]

I bet you're right. That's the problem with becoming a U.S. senator at age 29 when I was a tiny kid.

[Jack Armstrong]

And who else am I? What? Who am I if not that? Nothing Says Biden to himself, licking an ice cream cone as it drips stickily down his withered hand.

[Joe Getty]

And they obviously have no handlers telling them, because this is only going to do them harm, but how do they not have the self awareness? Not only does the half of the country, well, the 85% of the country that didn't think you should be president not want to hear from you, nobody in your own party wants to hear from you. There's nobody on your side of politics that has any interest in anything you have to say. How do you not know that?

[Jack Armstrong]

It's like Dylan Mulvaney showing up to the Bud Light convention. Everybody's like, oh, no, why is he here?

[Joe Getty]

That is something. Anywho, they just released an early clip.

[Jack Armstrong]

If you want to hear it. Go ahead, Michael. Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

Good one, Michael Christmas. Cutter. You checked. You tricked us like Sean used to do every single time back in the day. Got it. How long ago was that?

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, I know. And he's declined significant. Well, he just. Month after month. It's pathetic.

[Joe Getty]

So yesterday, the new prime minister of Canada goes to sit in the, what I like to call the Zelinsky chair there in the Oval Office, where you sometimes get yelled at and belittled, depending on how things are going.

[Jack Armstrong]

Just a question of how tense and humiliating it's going to be.

[Joe Getty]

So we didn't, we didn't get into this yesterday. It's probably worth setting it up this way. Did you see Trump's post that he put out during the day, right before he got there, right before the Canadian prime minister got there. Trump puts out a post basically saying Canada needs to be the 51st state and just lays out the whole thing again, like right before the guy walks in.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, yeah, that's something. I mean, world leaders like Carney have had to get down the how to parry or deal with Trump maneuvers that had gone kind of, you know, they laid fallow for four years, but now they're back to it, realizing, all right, he, he just, he blurts stuff out via social media. It might turn out to be official US Policy in a while. It might turn out to be forgotten in 10 minutes. Don't react to.

[Joe Getty]

Or is he just testing to see, like, if are you the kind of personality that can say no to me or are you going to, like, roll over if I just keep asserting this?

[Jack Armstrong]

You know, I was going to be. Well, you're halfway through your, your sentence. I was going to say no. It's just Trump, he blurts things. He's a blurter. And I still believe that. But your theory right there, not a bad one.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, let's hear a little how it went down.

[Jack Armstrong]

I think that there are tremendous benefits to the Canadian citizens, tremendously lower taxes, free military, which honestly we give you.

[Joe Getty]

Essentially anyway, because we're protecting Canada.

[Jack Armstrong]

If you have had a problem.

[Joe Getty]

But I think, you know, it's.

[Jack Armstrong]

It would really be a wonderful marriage.

[Joe Getty]

Because it's, it's two places.

[Jack Armstrong]

They get along very well. They like each other a lot. Well, if. If I may, as you know from real estate, there are some places that are never for sale. That's true. We're sitting in one right now. You know, Buckingham palace visited as well. And having met with the owners of Canada the course of the campaign last several months, it's not for sale, won't be for sale ever.

[Joe Getty]

So he. So right off the bat, Trump pushes the guy. I think it was just a personal. Does he have the guts to stand up against this? He lays out it'd be a benefit to your taxes, would be lower military protection, everything like that.

[Jack Armstrong]

It'd be pretty great. Be pretty well. And he belittles the guy a little bit too. Let's face it. We've been protecting you. If there's ever a problem, we would, you know, it. So, yeah, roll and Carney's like, how? Well, I appreciate that, but yeah, let's just stay friends. I don't want to move in. The uncomfortable yet gentlemanly encounter went on. The opportunity is in the partnership and what we can build together. And we have done that in the past. And part of that, as the President just said, is with respect to our own security. And my government is committed for a safety step change in our investment in Canadian security and our partnership. And I'll say this as well, that the President has revitalized international security, revitalized NATO and us playing our full weight in NATO. And that will be part of.

[Joe Getty]

Okay, so he throws a little bone to Trump to, you know, say something nice to him.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's definitely part of the playbook. Yeah, 100%.

[Joe Getty]

But it rolls on our 51st state.

[Jack Armstrong]

When you consider what Mr. Carney just said, that Canada is not for sale, does this make the discussion a little more difficult to start on? No, not at all. No, not at all. No. Time. Time will tell. It's only time. But I say never say never. I've had many, many things that were not doable and they ended up being doable and only doable in a very friendly way.

[Joe Getty]

But if it's to everybody's benefit, you.

[Jack Armstrong]

Know, Canada loves us and we love Canada. That's, I think, the number one thing that's important.

[Joe Getty]

But we'll see.

[Jack Armstrong]

I mean, over time, we'll see what happens. So in any successful career, I think you become good at what we've become pretty good at during various meetings through the years, which is smiling pleasantly, looking attentive, nodding and saying completely non committal things, much like an oral surgery, just waiting until it's over, and then going about your life the way you were going about it before the meeting. And that was what Carney was doing.

[Joe Getty]

Well, you know my favorite part, where Trump talks about, you look at a map. I mean, that just looks so good together. It's just like one entity. I mean, I mean, I understand beautiful things, and yet that, that line, you just eliminate that. And it looks so good together. I mean, I just thought that was hilarious.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, in, in Trump's defense, it does look good.

[Joe Getty]

It look. It looked good as a one big country.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, not only does it look good, it looks kind of appropriate. Ish. Appropriate. Ish, yes. That's what I meant to say in just geographically speaking, culturally speaking. And the fact that there's a line between Canada and the United States is just like this accident of that weird colonial period in the 1700s when it was the Brits versus the French versus the Spanish versus the Brits. Again, there's some Indians and then the Brits and then us. And we said, go to hell, Brits. And Canada's like, yeah, I see your point. But no, we're good with the Brits. And it just. There's no great reason to have the line. On the other hand, it's been there for a hell of a long time and it's not going anywhere.

[Joe Getty]

Polling. This is a 9010 issue. I saw the polling yesterday. 90% of Americans don't think Canada should be a 51st state.

[Jack Armstrong]

So about half.

[Joe Getty]

So it's. Yeah. It's not exactly something people are hot for.

[Jack Armstrong]

No. It's just so silly. Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

Now the reporting is that after that. Sit down. The Canadian Prime Minister said to Trump privately, I want you to stop referring to Canada as the 51st state, which I'm sure Trump finds hilarious.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, maybe. But being a dick for no good reason is not a good strategy. And if indeed he's driving towards something, okay, great. But if it's just alienating one of our closest allies and we get nothing out of it, not good. Just showing you're a tough guy to be a tough guy, not good in diplomacy doesn't Work doesn't work long term.

[Joe Getty]

I personally don't want to add a more left California to the map for our national government. I don't see how that benefits me and my politics in any way.

[Jack Armstrong]

Right. There would be a period of transition by which I mean like three quarters of a century in which we'd have to sort that out before a conservative was ever elected again. Yeah. And I'd rather not. Well, I wouldn't see all of it for sure if actuarial tables are accurate, but I'd hate to see it at all. So yeah, enough of that. Let's put it to bed under a nice thick blanket because Canada is very cold and move on to things that matter. So I was, I was brainstorming on this just before we did this commercial. Jack. As Michael told us today, we need to talk about Simplisafe this segment, which is a delight. I was thinking about what of my stuff I most want to protect. And other than like family photo albums.

[Joe Getty]

Genitals.

[Jack Armstrong]

You're an idiot. Thieves are going to come in, try to steal my genitals. They haven't done me much good. You can probably leave them. It's like a moment.

[Joe Getty]

What are you protecting? You'll go right?

[Jack Armstrong]

No, I mean from thieves.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, not a fighter.

[Jack Armstrong]

Like, it's my computers.

[Joe Getty]

I.

[Jack Armstrong]

If they stole those, all my music, you know, all the pictures, everything I've written, just. That's why you've got to protect yourself with Simplisafe Home Security, the most advanced super affordable AI and human being fueled security system that's ever existed on earth.

[Joe Getty]

I got the sensors, I got the cameras, I got the stuff. I got the sign that lets people know I've got all that stuff in there. And it makes me feel a lot better when I drive away from my home every single day. The SimpliSafe setup, which costs about a dollar a day. That's amazing. And no long term contract because they don't need to lock you into a contract. They believe you're going to be happy with the product like I am.

[Jack Armstrong]

So you have this super advanced active guard outdoor protection. It's way better than traditional systems and it starts at about a buck a day. It's amazing. No long term contracts or cancellation fees. They earn your business every day. Visit simplisafe.com Armstrong you get 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan. Get your first month free just because we're buddies. That's simplisafe.com Armstrong. There's no safe like SimpliSafe.

[Joe Getty]

JD Vance apparently just called out Russia for asking for too much to end the Ukraine invasion. There might be a switch happening here on the putting pressure on Russia. Maybe. I don't know. I would like to see that.

[Jack Armstrong]

I read a great piece by Barton Swaim, editorialist, about what Trump fails to understand about Putin. And the very, very short version of it is Putin doesn't give a crap about too many people dying. He could not care less.

[Joe Getty]

Amazing.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, yeah. The whole humanitarian plea from Trump, which I appreciate, it's nice. Is falling on the deafest of years.

[Joe Getty]

Another guy who doesn't care about how many people die. President Xi is in Moscow as of today and will be for several days. And that's a couple of evil, powerful people with lots of nuclear weapons that would not blink at millions dying to get what they want on the world.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, no.

[Joe Getty]

It's just, it's horrifying. Anyway, a lot more stuff that's not as heavy on the way. Stay here.

[Jack Armstrong]

Armstrong and Getty.

[Michael]

Time is precious and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24,7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments and shipping is always free. With Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.

[Jack Armstrong]

Trump's tariffs against China are raising the.

[Joe Getty]

Cost of the wedding dresses.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's not good. Now brides are saying yes to the jeggings from Kohl's.

[Joe Getty]

Speaking of clothing options, so I'm at a Nike store the other day with my son who's there for the fashion end of Nike. I'm looking around and I happen to be over where the running shoes are and one caught my eye is just like I thought was a good looking shoe. So I tried it on and I've never tried it on before. This is the most expensive Nike tennis shoe I'd ever tried on before. It's $285. But I tried on the shoes and they're their vapor fly fours with if you're a runner, you know, vapor flies came out eight years ago and changed running shoes around the world. It was the first one of those like really giant thick sole, makes you like two inches taller, springy shoes. And Nike started that and like records started falling around the world, marathon, stuff like that. And it's a controversy of kind of like you got going in golf. Where has the equipment just gotten so good that it's distorting things. And one of those. But I put on these shoes and it was the weirdest experience. I, I mean it's so spongy and springy. It's almost hard to walk in them. And they're very, very weird.

[Jack Armstrong]

And you've tried like Hokas, right?

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

Those are some of those maxi shoes too.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, well these, these new things. And so Puma has come out with the latest shoe that is supposed to be even further down the road. It's 90% efficient in returning the energy when your foot hits the ground into springing you forward. So Nike had revolution, revolutionized the running world with like 65 to 70%. This new Puma shoe that's also about $390 of your energy springs you forward. And I don't know what we're trying to accomplish here. I mean I'm not trying to break a record when I run. I, I'm trying to, trying to get exercise to, I don't know, lose weight or not die. So. Almost seems like I'd be better off with heavier shoes and maybe weights or something. I don't know.

[Jack Armstrong]

But yeah, yeah, it's funny, I've thought that same thing about bikes. I heard a guy bragging about how his road bike was so incredibly efficient and I'm like, aren't you riding that for exercise?

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, unless you're trying to win a race, I'm not sure. But anywh. So if you see these really funky looking super tall. I guess you have to be careful doing anything but running. They're not a good shoe to throw on if you're gonna like, you know, you used to wear running shoes for everything. You'd, you know, play in the backyard with the kids with these cuz they're so tall. They're just meant for going forward. It's really easy to roll your ankle, like break an ankle or something like that. They're not, they're not designed for going side to side.

[Jack Armstrong]

Right, right. Yeah, I'm dealing with that right now. I've got to go get like some court shoes or old fashioned gym shoes because all I have is runners and you know I'm inappropriate and yeah, like too big and high.

[Joe Getty]

But I wonder what the goal is.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's faster running.

[Joe Getty]

Well, sell more shoes. That's the ultimate goal. If you're Nike or Puma. You want to, you want to have the shoe that makes people come out and spend $300 on a pair of shoes. But sure, at some point, if it's doing all the work and I'm just floating along and getting no exercise, I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah, I like the idea of being 2 inches taller. I don't like the idea of spending $300 on a pair of shoes.

[Jack Armstrong]

That's a lot.

[Joe Getty]

And that's before the tariffs have kicked in on all this sort of stuff. Right, sure.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. I have no idea with shoes like that whether that's your standard cost plus 7% profit margin or if it's more like the wine business, where you think, let's market this at this price and see what we can do. And you could actually sell it for a lot less. But you're capitalizing on scarcity in the popular.

[Joe Getty]

But in general, in general, I've seen a number of news reports that a lot like your athletic shoe stores are just. They're ready to get hit hard with the whole tariff because all that stuff's made in China. What? 150% tariff on, like, all Nike products. What's that gonna do?

[Jack Armstrong]

Right? And Apple fans. Apple is holding the line on cost mostly so far, but the rumblings are unmistakable that that will not last very long.

[Joe Getty]

It can't. Tim Cook said last week they're gonna have to spend $900 billion billion dollars more over however many years it costs if this keeps up. I mean. And they said they gotta pass the cost along. It's the only way to stay in business.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. I want to get into the current negotiations that have just started, I guess, between China and the US to straighten out our trade relationship in you know, whatever form it ought to take going forward. And that's its own topic. But Scott Besant saying. Hey, hey. Oh, decouple. We're not decoupling, please. We'll have to see how that goes.

[Joe Getty]

I know you were planning to take your kids to the Department of Housing and Urban Development today as a field trip, but now you can't because you didn't get the real id, just like me. Lots of us didn't get the real id. The history of how we got here on this ridiculous thing is kind of funny and emblematic of everything that is the government we mentioned earlier.

[Jack Armstrong]

I think the government's finances are screwed up. Wait till I tell you about the Vatican later on today.

[Joe Getty]

They got fancy clothes. I just saw them walk out for the whole concave thing. They can afford the clothing. Looking good.

[Jack Armstrong]

Good.

[Joe Getty]

Look there. Popes.

[Jack Armstrong]

Armstrong and Getty.

[Michael]

Time is precious and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24,7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments and shipping is always free. With Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.

[Joe Getty]

So I'm watching live some of the Pope stuff as they're all heading into the Sistine Chapel to do their conclave. And, and I'm not as into this story as the mainstream media seems to be in them kind of confused by that as they are all atheists. I don't, I don't get why I think they like. I think it's got a royal family flair to it with the costumes and the tradition or something.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's not the something. And Catholicism is bigger in the the Northeast than it is in a lot of other parts of the country.

[Joe Getty]

Anyway, just looking at these pictures of.

[Jack Armstrong]

Mall and all the media is in the Northeast, obviously all the cardinals walking.

[Joe Getty]

In and chanting their prayers and whatnot and everything. The Sistine Chapel, if you've never been there, is really amazing. If you ever get the opportunity. It is a stunning, stunning room and all the art in there and they've been doing it in there for what did you tell us the other day? Like 800 years or something. So today's real ID day. They've been warning us about this for very, very long time. I do not have a real id. I did not get my act together in time and in theory I can't fly today or go into a federal government building until I get my real.

[Jack Armstrong]

Id and we're all safer as a result. Thank you. Real id. If I send him into a coughing fit, I apologize.

[Joe Getty]

That's pretty funny. Have you ever had a coughing fit you thought would never stop? I had one the other day.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh yeah.

[Joe Getty]

It just wouldn't stop. And it's like I couldn't breathe. I couldn't. I was like down on a knee. I thought like, do I?

[Jack Armstrong]

And it hurts your brain?

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. Pretty soon your brain starts to hurt. I thought, do I need to go to the ER? Eventually it went away. It actually started in the 95, as I mentioned earlier, is the Oklahoma City bombing that got this whole conversation started. If you don't remember that horrifying day, the Dude's wife had made him a fake ID out of a piece of cardboard on an ironing board. And it was good enough to, you know, rent a car, buy this stuff and everything like that. And that's when finally decided we need to have some sort of, like, normalization of IDs across states in this country. Nothing happened because nothing happens with the federal government ever. So it was quite a few years ago. Years later, you get to 2001, 9, 11. That gave it a little more of a boost to come up with IDs, even though that had nothing to do with it. All the hijackers were in the country legally and had the legal version of the id. So whatever. That didn't, you know, that doesn't make any difference.

[Jack Armstrong]

So are you against security?

[Joe Getty]

Where did the name real ID come from, this sense? And Brenner, you might remember his name, he was involved in it back in the day. He said, what do kids call it if you have to, like, bring your actual ID somewhere, not your fake id to buy booze? And some college kid told him, we call those our real id. And he said, okay, well, that's what we'll call this ID then. So that's where the name Real ID came from. The law.

[Jack Armstrong]

Sorry, Jim Sensen, Brenner, are Ohio, as.

[Joe Getty]

I recall, the law had two goals. Have states issue IDs that are harder to counterfeit and require states to do at least a little bit of a background check on these cards. The problem was, and this is actually a problem, in some states, there was almost no process for getting the state driver's license or state id. Usually it's a driver's license. There was almost no background check whatsoever. And because of the way we do things, if you had an ID in that state, you could go anywhere in the country with that. And so there was. There was almost no requirement to have.

[Jack Armstrong]

One populous state in the Union, for instance, excuse me, California, where you could be an illegal immigrant. You snuck into the state. The only ID you have is that which you had faked up in LA while you were waiting to get settled, and you go get a state driver's license and you're on your way to anywhere you want in the us. Great system, right?

[Joe Getty]

So the law got complicated when they had to avoid the highly political controversy, which we've talked about for years in talk radio, of creating some sort of national ID card by still having, you know, state by state, because people hate the idea of a national id. They quote this person. And I only bring this up because it's funny. This woman named Faith Bradley, a professor at George Washington University, who wrote her doctoral dissertation on the implementation of the real id. That is a life not well spent.

[Jack Armstrong]

I swear.

[Joe Getty]

Sweetheart, I know.

[Jack Armstrong]

Is there something else you didn't want to study? The reproductive habits of some little frog that lives in the bogs of Utah.

[Joe Getty]

Or anything like that?

[Jack Armstrong]

God.

[Joe Getty]

You dedicated seven years of your life to writing a paper about the implementation of the real ID.

[Jack Armstrong]

How to increase the yield of grain by 1%.

[Joe Getty]

Like virtually anything, Half the states in the country resisted the real ID at first, so it took some sort of federal coursing to get them to go along with it.

[Jack Armstrong]

Good.

[Joe Getty]

Citing, cost, privacy and the burden for people of having to provide extra documentation. This is, you know, preying upon the poor and disenfranchised. Those states just want people that shouldn't have IDs to vote. We know how that whole thing works.

[Jack Armstrong]

Absolutely. Yeah. And they're voting today.

[Joe Getty]

So you had, you know, fiscally conservative states saying, you know, don't put all this financial burden on us. Then you had the states that want everyone that can breathe to vote whether there should be a citizen or not. You combine those two things and you had a lot of states that were up against it. The result 20 years on is a variety of flavors of real ID. Most states use a star or a star inside a circle, or in the case of California, a star inside a bear to indicate which of the IDs are compliant with the federal standard.

[Jack Armstrong]

Boy, and you should have heard the sounds that bear made as we were getting the star inside of him. Oh, by the way, you're talking about the compliance earlier. Are you going to go back to that and talk about that? You ought to, probably ought to reset that. I'll save my comment until Jack brings us the hilariously low compliance rates.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, I will get back to that. So, yeah, so I guess I've seen the California one. It's a star inside a bear. I don't have one, as we know. So I no longer can visit federal buildings, which is again, already my life is feeling a vacancy. Have you told the kids? I have to tell you something. We cannot visit any federal buildings today. It's basically an enhanced driver's license, as we all know, and there's a little bit of a background check, blah, blah, blah, blah. Millions of people have yet to even apply for the real ID in all kinds of different states. I've applied. I just don't have my appointment yet. To the compliance, which is absolutely amazing. The lowest compliance in the entire country is New Jersey, which has 17% compliance. 7.

[Jack Armstrong]

Forget about it.

[Joe Getty]

That's pretty funny. How am I going to get into the bottom Bing without a real id? Maybe they'll let you in. But it's very common across the country. I mean, you pick a state. Let's look at Montana. They appear to be in the 20 to 40% compliance zone. Let's look at Georgia. Georgia doing pretty well. They're between 80 and 100%.

[Jack Armstrong]

Way to go, Georgia.

[Joe Getty]

But you get down to Arizona and they're. They're also 20 to 40. California is 40 to 60. Way more of us that didn't get it, even though we had all these warnings than we did. I don't know what that says about Americans or America or our government or what. I don't know if it says anything.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's got to know from Mike, the attorney in Chicago. Low compliance for real ID in Illinois is due in part because the Illinois Secretary of State runs a DMV so poorly. People can't get in, they can't get appointments. Many just gave up. I was going to posit that it's mostly terribly run, abusive blue states, but the states you mentioned, not. No clear pattern to me.

[Joe Getty]

Well, it could be different reasons in different states. You could have the I don't do what the government tells me to do crowd. And then you could have blue states where it's just like I was doing it in California. That whole having to have you got to verify who you are with like an electric bill or a lease or whatever. It has to have your middle name on it. I kept getting rejected. Well, I'm sorry, I don't fill out my PG&E bill with my middle name. I've been given my initial or not my whole life. So it's just odd, right?

[Jack Armstrong]

Just silly. And you could change that by, you know, calling PG&E and saying, put my middle name on there going forward. And then a month later you could get your real id. There you go. There's your security.

[Joe Getty]

And thank God, I will not hijack a plane because of that. Yes, Katie, what do you have to contribute?

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, I flew yesterday and in line, There were probably 30ish people ahead of me.

[Joe Getty]

And everybody who didn't have a real.

[Jack Armstrong]

Id, they gave a little piece of paper that said time is running out.

[Joe Getty]

Right.

[Jack Armstrong]

Scan this little QR code.

[Joe Getty]

Every single person in front of me.

[Jack Armstrong]

Got one of those. There was not one person in line.

[Michael]

That had a real id.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. So now, now here's the part. And this is where the media has failed. I saw this on Fox News Nation. I haven't heard this anywhere else. They were at one of your major Northeastern airports. I don't know which one, but they said there is a special line over there. If you do not have a real id, they will send you over there. You will get extra security, but you will get on the plane, they said. We've asked for details. They're not giving us any. So the TSA has got some sort of special. We will let you on the plane. Is this true at every airport in the country that it's like a. You know, the homework is due Friday, but we didn't really mean it. If you get it in on Monday, it still counts. I mean, so is that what's going on?

[Jack Armstrong]

You can still get on the plane, but it's a full body cavity search. It's the old squat and cough. I mean, they're gonna go over you. Plays fine. Tooth comb, shave your head to make sure there's nothing delouse you in your hair. Sheep tip and the whole treatment. Cut your fingernails down to the nubs, ladies, to make sure you haven't hitting a bomb under there. So you want to be a scofflaw, huh? If it were up to me, you know what? You'd get that little QR code and they'd hit you with a night stick. And then they do the search. We need compliance in this country.

[Joe Getty]

Get up on the stool. We got to make sure you're not suitcasing something.

[Jack Armstrong]

I'm a. I'm a boy Scout leader from Omaha. I served in the army. Squat and cough.

[Joe Getty]

Doesn't this strike you as odd that they've decided you can get on the plane without the real id, but they're not telling the media or. The media's not reporting it. I mean, what kind of. What. What is this?

[Jack Armstrong]

It is the classic strategy, and I'm slightly surprised you don't recognize it. Of the underachiever. The underachiever being the government. You act as though you've read the book. You mumble some incoherent Kamala Harris esque phrases about the story of a lawyer and his daughter who doesn't like racism. Have you not read Tequila Mockingbird?

[Joe Getty]

They were calling the wild the wild. So there was a calling of the wild, and that's what happened.

[Jack Armstrong]

And there's a big wolf, dog and snow, Right? Exactly. And so you hold up the pretense that you've accomplished what you claimed you would accomplish, but you haven't really. So that's funny.

[Joe Getty]

I actually thought that they probably meant it this time. Like we've delayed it a million times. We actually mean it now. You can't fly unless you get this id. And I thought, well, that's fine. You've warned me a million times. But at the same time, like I said earlier, what are you going to Newark airport? You got five out of 10. Travelers are business travelers. This is how they make their living. And you're going to say you can't fly because you don't have the star with the circle on your id because you don't have a very airport where.

[Jack Armstrong]

They can't talk to the planes half the time. Yeah, you know what it is, Jack, and this is weird. This thought just clicked into my head and I can't decide if I believe this or not. I think it may actually be a fairly healthy response from the government of a free people. They are saying, in effect, look, this is a dumb policy trotted out dumbly. We didn't make it easy. Nobody's really serious about all this. We kind of went through with it because we said we were going to. If you don't have it, come over here, we'll ask you a couple of questions and then you can get on your plane. It's a confession of sorts.

[Joe Getty]

You know what it'll be, and then it'll be people like me. It's such a pain in the ass to go to that longer line. I guess I'll finally get an energy bill with my middle name on it so I can get this dang thing and not have to go in that line.

[Jack Armstrong]

Plus, at the airport, I run, which I'm going to name Joe Hare International. You're gonna get tired of getting those licks from the nightstick too. Well, so you'll go down to the DMV with your electric bill with your middle name on there, and you will comply.

[Joe Getty]

You know what's interesting is the body cavity searches get easier over time.

[Jack Armstrong]

All right, maybe we should take a break.

[Joe Getty]

You get used to it.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, boy.

[Joe Getty]

We got any. Any thoughts on this? Our text line. 415295 KFT.

[Jack Armstrong]

Armstrong and Getty.

[Michael]

Time is precious, and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24. 7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments, and shipping is always free. With Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.

[Joe Getty]

A Shadowy network called 764 whose goal is to spark violence and chaos around the world in part by luring in unsuspecting teenagers. 764 targets kids on social media and gaming platforms, extorting them into sending violent and sexual content. The FBI is warning parents to pay attention to who their kids are talking to on social media and gaming platforms. The FBI is investigating more than 250 suspects tied to 764 with every field office involved. Well that's just dandy. I am a parent of teenagers who'd never even heard of that in my life until two seconds ago. So that's just great. Let's just put that on the long list of things you can be concerned about if your kid's got a phone.

[Jack Armstrong]

Not so fast. There's more to be concerned about if your kid has a phone. I was just reading that the hacker ring that you may remember put Vegas out of commission. What was that, six years? Six months ago? A year ago? I don't know, time flies when you're old. But they brought down all those casinos for a time. That is a very loosely assembled group of bored, malcontent, mischievous youngsters who call themselves the Con or something like that. And this specific subgroup of the subgroup calls themselves Scattered Spider I guess. And they just, they hack into various corporations and companies and government institutions and stuff like that for fun and mischief and sometimes they steal, but sometimes they just screw with it.

[Joe Getty]

That whole keep track of who your kids talk to on social media and everything like that sounded a lot easier before, before my kids got old enough to be involved in that world. And as far as I can tell, I'm more strict than a lot of my son's friends parents are. And it's still, it's just, I mean there's just so many opportunities for them to be involved with bad people. I mean unless I'm going to be over his shoulder all the time, right?

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, I was a very big fan as a parent partly for that reason. And I completely support the idea of trying not to, trying to eliminate opportunities to do bad things 100%. But I realized at one point what you're talking about. And so I just really emphasize the underlying principles behind doing some things and not doing some things and how extremely important they were to me as their dad and their mom certainly. But how important and fundamental they are to be in a good person and a bad person and Then when they're loose on the town and they're presented with temptation, you hope and pray they make the right choice and. Or if they make the wrong choice, it's not a disaster.

[Joe Getty]

Right. Which has a lot to do with their friend group and everything else, which has always been true. But, man, the opportunity to get in trouble is exponentially greater now than it was 20 years ago. I mean, it's just a completely different world. You couldn't order heroin and a machine gun from any tiny town in America when I was in high school or come across a, you know, an international pedophile sex ring. It just wasn't going to happen.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, I know, I know. I was going to bring up a kind of vague philosophical theme about the modern world. Don't really have time to get into it now, but has to do. And I can't get into specifics in my little world, really. You'll have to forgive me for that for now. But a friend of mine characterized kind of a mood as the slime from the Ghostbusters movies. The. The original Ghostbuster. The early 80s classic. Early 80s. Like 83. When was that out?

[Joe Getty]

Something like.

[Jack Armstrong]

Anyway, you may recall that when all the ghosts were running wild in New York City, one of the things they did was like, spread this green slime around.

[Joe Getty]

I ain't afraid of no ghosts.

[Jack Armstrong]

The effect it had was not just, you know, green slime is effect enough. Yick. But. But it caused New Yorkers to be angry and disagreeable and turn on each other and. And we're discussing a very local context and also the angst and unhappiness of youth and the fact that incumbents all over the developed world are getting tossed out of office.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

And the parties that have been fairly stable and in power, you know, they switch places now and again, but they're just getting tossed aside. There is a near global feeling of angst and unhappiness that I don't ever recall before.

[Joe Getty]

True that.

[Jack Armstrong]

What do we do with this information and do about it?

[Joe Getty]

We get used to it. Do we settle into some. Or. Or it just keeps getting worse.

[Jack Armstrong]

Buy heroin and machine guns on the Internet like you were discussing earlier.

[Joe Getty]

Fantastic.

[Jack Armstrong]

Campus Madness update next hour. If you don't get next hour, you gotta go grab it via podcast. Armstrong and gettyondemand. Armstrong and Getty.

[Michael]

Time is precious and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24. 7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments and shipping is always free. With Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.

[Jack Armstrong]

You're listening to an iHeart podcast.