This Isn't a Petting Zoo!

Summary

Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: "This Isn't a Petting Zoo!"
Date: November 18, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this lighthearted episode of Armstrong & Getty On Demand, the hosts and regular contributors dive into the unexpectedly hilarious and often awkward social encounters that come with pregnancy, personal boundaries, and the quirks of human interaction. The discussion is spurred by Katie's recent experiences while expecting, leading to a candid conversation about unsolicited touching, intrusive questions, and the bewildering behavior people display around pregnant women. The episode balances humor with genuine reflection on social etiquette, peppered with witty banter and memorable personal anecdotes.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Dangers of Pregnancy Comments

• Embarrassing Moments: A host recounts an unfortunate college experience where he commented on a fellow performer looking pregnant, only to find out she wasn’t wearing a pregnancy pillow yet.
  • Quote: “Wow, you really look pregnant.”
    • Response: “I haven’t put the pillow in yet.”
  • (03:52 – 04:17)
• Lesson: Sometimes, mistakes lead to lasting embarrassment, with the host admitting, "There's no coming back from that." (04:26)

2. Pets and Petting Zoos – The Inspiration for the Title

• Dogs with Too Much Attention: One contributor notes how the family dog, Baxter, has gotten used to constant attention from contractors working in the house. As the house empties post-renovation, he’ll likely feel “so down” and “need extra walks.” (05:05 – 06:05)
• Pug Problems: Another tells of owning a mostly blind pug who barks at its own owner, prompting daily explanations: “It’s me. I live here. I pay the rent. My name's on the deed. Stop barking at me.” (06:15)

3. Katie’s Pregnancy: “This Is Not a Petting Zoo!”

• Unsolicited Touching: Katie describes the awkwardness of acquaintances—and even quasi-friends—touching her belly and hair without permission.
  • Quote (Katie, 08:12): “Barb, I’m not an animal at a petting zoo, okay? I totally flashed on her.”
• No Filter: The offenders often ask intrusive questions (“Is your belly popping yet?”), and one even starts touching her hair, escalating the discomfort. (06:35–08:57)
• Memorable Analogy: The hosts joke about the checklist of inappropriate progressions: belly rub, hair touch, “Oil check is next. Where is she going with this?” (08:51)
• Dealing with Future Incidents: Katie’s solution: “If I even see a remote reach, I’m gonna be like, wax on, wax off, you know?” (09:14)

4. Why Do People Think This Is Okay?

• The “Sisterhood” Excuse: The team speculates that some women justify this behavior as part of a “club” of shared experience, losing sight of boundaries.
  • Quote: “She believes you are now part of the same club of having performed the miracle of creating life.” (Pregnancy Commentator, 10:05)
• Double Standards: Even mothers who disliked being touched seem oblivious when they do it to others (10:25–10:43).

5. Classic Pregnancy Comments and Reactions

• You Look Tired: Katie vents about being told she looks tired. “Thank you so much.” (11:00–11:42)
• Body Commentary: Jokes about how the next step will be people checking her breast size, or speaking directly to her stomach.
  • Quote: “Somebody’s going to come up to your stomach and they’re going to start talking to it…” (Pregnancy Commentator, 11:52)
  • Katie: “They’re going to catch a knee to the chin.” (11:55)
• Terminology Pedantry: The group jokes about using “abdomen” instead of “stomach," since “if the baby was in the stomach, it would be digested.” (12:04)

6. Humor in the Face of Irritation

• Shared Frustration: The hosts swap stories about people referring to “eating the baby,” reflecting on the absurdity of common pregnancy comments.
• Closure: By the end, the conversation winds down with everyone recognizing how laughter helps process the awkwardness and irritation these situations inevitably provoke.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Mortifying Comments:
  “You really look pregnant.”

  • “I haven’t put the pillow in yet.”
    — Pregnancy Storyteller and woman, (03:52 – 04:17)

• On Personal Boundaries:
  “Barb, I’m not an animal at a petting zoo, okay? I totally flashed on her.”
  — Katie, (08:12)

• On the ‘Sisterhood’ Mindset:
  “She believes you are now part of the same club of having performed the miracle of creating life.”
  — Pregnancy Commentator, (10:05)

• On Unsolicited Belly Touching:
  “If I even see a remote reach, I’m gonna be like, wax on, wax off, you know?”
  — Katie, (09:14)

• On the Dangers of Baby Talk:
  “Somebody’s going to come up to your stomach and they’re going to start talking to it…”
  — Pregnancy Commentator, (11:52)
  “They’re going to catch a knee to the chin.”
  — Katie, (11:55)

• Pedantic but Funny:
  “If the baby was in the stomach, it would be digested.”
  — Pregnancy Commentator, (12:04)

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Segment Timestamps

• [03:08] – Episode begins with Katie's remark: "Ma'am, this is not a petting zoo. It's one more thing."
• [03:36 – 04:31] – Mortifying story about a mistaken pregnancy comment.
• [05:05 – 06:05] – Dogs and humans: Unusual petting and attention.
• [06:35 – 09:14] – Katie’s litany of pregnancy intrusions: from belly rubs to unwanted hair checks.
• [09:14 – 10:49] – Group analysis of why people behave this way; the “sisterhood” rationale.
• [11:00 – 12:16] – Discussion of other irritating comments (“you look tired,” “boobs have gotten huge”); anticipating more as pregnancy progresses.
• [12:16 – 12:37] – Closing with jokes over typical pregnancy misunderstandings.

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Tone & Style

• Casual, wry, and self-deprecating humor.
• Conversations flow conversationally—banter, laughter, and improvised jokes.
• Hosts and contributors openly share personal anecdotes and vent with comedic flair.

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Takeaways

This episode is a playful-yet-pointed look at the often-overlooked social boundary issues pregnant people face, all delivered with the trademark Armstrong & Getty irreverence.
Perfect for listeners who enjoy real talk, comedic storytelling, and social commentary—all with a side of empathy.

Transcript

[Podcast Host]

This is an I heart podcast.

[Katie]

Shh.

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[Pregnancy Storyteller]

Yeah.

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[Katie]

Ma', am, this is not a petting zoo. It's one more thing.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

Oh, boy, oh, boy. I think I know where this story is going. Katie's gonna tell a pregnancy story. But before she gets to that, Katie's pregnant. If you didn't know that, that'd be weird.

[Katie]

If I was telling a pregnancy story and not pregnant.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

Baby. Before we get to that, one of the worst things I've ever said in my life, and that is a long list.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

Oh, good lord. Yeah, that's. That's a bar to clear.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

I was in a play in college. And this non trad. That would be someone who's not like, you know, a teenager in college. They're older, they came back to college.

[Jacob Goldstein]

Woman.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

She's probably in her mid-30s. She was going to play a pregnant woman in this play. And the night of the show, I don't know why. This is a very low rent deal. We had not done any. We'd not been in our costumes till show night, apparently. But anyway, the night of her doing the show and she was playing a pregnant woman, I said, wow, you really look pregnant. And she said, I haven't put the pillow in yet.

[Katie]

Oh, Jack. Wow.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

So bad. So bad.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

Yeah.

[Katie]

And you're.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

I mean, that's. That's. Go ahead.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

My response was to. I think I just shrunk away. There's no coming back from that.

[Katie]

No. Okay.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

You just need to basically say, and I have embarrassed myself and angered you forever. I will leave now. I mean, we will never be friends.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to slink away.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

Because that is basically what I did. I think I was the emcee of the thing or something.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

Yeah, yeah, People. I've seen that a couple of times in my life where people just don't know of that. Prohibition.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

Right. I know what it was. It was sketch comedy and I was the emcee of the thing. That's what she was gonna be. A pregnant woman. You really look pregnant. Yeah, I haven't put the pillow in yet? You asshole.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

Lord, Lord. Speaking of petting zoos, my poor dog. I noticed this the other day. He's a very affectionate dog. He's half black lab and half border collie. But we have had construction workers and electricians and painters and wallpaper guys and you name it, in our house now for months. Our doors are open all the time. People walk in, it's stranger. I'll say, hey, how you doing? He'll go, good. I'm the whatsits. And I'll say, oh, great. Right over there. We just.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

It's.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

It's crazy. But Baxter gets so many pets now. He gets so much attention now when the project is finally over. I mean, my family's coming in for Thanksgiving. But then when that's all over, I'm gonna have to show him the way to the liquor cabinet or give him extra walks or something because he's going to be so down. He's been the bell of the ball.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

My dog, who's a pug and half blind because they are bred to have smashed up faces and their eyes don't work. They're. They're bred to where they're. Their eyes are like. It's ridiculous.

[Katie]

They can't breathe either.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

Whole thing is ridiculous. But he can't see very well, so he barks and growls every time I come in the house. So I always have to say, it's me. I live here. I pay the rent. I'm. My name's on the deed. Stop barking at me.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

Let me show you the paperwork. Anyway, speaking of petting zoos, Katie.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

What? What.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

What are you talking about?

[Katie]

Oh, just, you know, I. I'm very grateful to be pregnant, but some of the stuff that happens along with it is just hilarious. And people, the. The lack of filter or judgment calls on what to do and what not to do has blown my mind. I was out and about the other day.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

Welcome to the sisterhood of. Are you effing kidding me with this?

[Katie]

Right? Yeah, that. Pretty much. So I'm out the other day, and there's this one particular woman who. She already bothers me in ways I don't need to get into. But she comes up to me and goes, so, is your belly popping yet? And she rubs me like I'm a Buddha. First of all, whoa. That. I mean, because I've never. I've never in my life have had I. Have I ever had somebody just come up and decide to rub my belly.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

Right, right.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

For starters, virtually.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

Yeah.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

Women hate it.

[Katie]

Yeah. I'm. I'm barely showing. I have, you know, and I wear hoodies all the time, so it's like, I'm not. You can't really tell I'm pregnant.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

Well, that's why we got to rub on your belly, Katie, just to be sure.

[Katie]

Yeah, yeah. And she goes, you know, she rubs my belly, and I'm kind of like. In that, what. What the fuck? Moment, and I hadn't said anything, you know.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

Right.

[Katie]

And she goes, oh, not yet. So what have you been eating? And I'm like, like. And I told her, you know, everything's sour and, you know, whatever. And she goes, oh, it's definitely a girl.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

Oh, yeah, right.

[Katie]

I'm like, no, that's fine. I mean, that's.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

I know, but you can't be touching people.

[Katie]

Well, so then she graduates from the belly rub, and I. I'm already not a touchy person. I don't. I'm not the. Like, as a girl growing up, I wasn't like the link arms with my girlfriends kind of thing. I just don't do that. The next thing she goes for, she starts grabbing my hair. She's like, so has your hair gotten any thicker? And I looked at her. Yeah, we'll call her Barb. I went, barb. I'm not. I'm not an animal at a petting zoo, okay? I totally flashed on her.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, you showed your fangs.

[Katie]

She.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

She earned that completely.

[Katie]

I mean, it was like from the belly up to my head, I'm just like, the oil.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

Oil check is next. I mean, where is she going with this?

[Jacob Goldstein]

That's what I was thinking.

[Katie]

It was just very. It was very strange. And I told my mom about it, and she's like, yeah, you know, some people are gonna. And I'm like, no, they're not. Because I'm. I now know that that's coming. And if I even see a remote reach, I'm gonna be like, wax on, wax off, you know?

[Annabe Sofa Advertiser]

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[Pregnancy Commentator]

What is the mindset? How do you arrive at the mindset that it's okay for me to touch this person I've never touched before?

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

She have kids?

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

Okay, so she's. Right pregnant.

[Katie]

She's been pregnant. So we're friendly. I mean, like, I. I don't. She drives me nuts. But, like, when I see her, I'll give her, you know, the single arm hug. Hey, how you doing? That type of stuff. But just immediately go in for that one arm.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

Yeah. You know, I can. I can forgive her more than other people. It's still an amazing Lack of insight. But she. And then I only know this having, you know, lived through three pregnancies and my wife and blah, blah, blah, and talk to her and other people. But she believes you are now part of the same club of having performed the miracle of creating life.

[Katie]

Okay.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

And that is so incredibly transcendent that you now understand something that other people, particularly men or non birthing people. I'm sorry to use the incorrect, the old timey term men. That's sarcasm clearly, but something that other people can never understand. So she thinks you're really bound by that.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

But.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

And yet either she was one of those person people who was completely. One of those women who is completely unoffended when near strangers groped her to see how she was coming along.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

And it never occurred to her that another pregnant lady might find that incredibly annoying.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

Let me check if they're dilated yet.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

Yeah, no kidding. Let's see how dilate. Let's check, let's figure out.

[Katie]

It was quite bold. I don't know. And the only other, the only other thing that I've, I've gotten quite a bit is that I look tired, which I am tired. Thank you.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

A comment nobody wants to hear in any circumstance. And. But nobody said, hey, is the boob fairy come to visit yet? Hong Kong? I mean, because that's. Somebody will mention that.

[Katie]

Somebody. I have a feeling somebody's just gonna come tit check me one of these days. Wow, those things are huge now.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

Yes.

[Katie]

Thank you.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

Oh my God.

[Katie]

Well, this, this woman, because I have a friend who's, she's, she's six months pregnant, so she's ahead of me and she works at the establishment where we were all hanging out. So they interacted as well. And she actually said that to her. She went, wow, your boobs have gotten huge. And my friend looked her and went, yeah, I'm pregnant. It's just. There's no filter on this.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

No filter.

[Katie]

Yeah. But yeah, the whole, oh, you look tired. And my reaction is always, oh my gosh, thank you so much.

[Jacob Goldstein]

You know what will happen, Katie?

[Katie]

This is true.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

Somebody's going to come up to your stomach and they're going to start talking.

[Katie]

To it, like doing like little, you know, goo goo Gaga. They're going to catch a knee to the chin.

[Pregnancy Storyteller]

There you go, right in the nose.

[Katie]

If I, if I can. I don't know if that'll be possible once that starts happening.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

But Michael, the term is abdomen, not stomach. If the baby was in the stomach, it would be digested.

[Katie]

It would be okay. Massy.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

If you'd like to go with the uterus, to be more specific, that would be acceptable, too.

[Katie]

It's been noted. Anyway, I just. I almost exploded from irritation when all of that was going on.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

Judy would occasionally hear references to the baby in your stomach and we would have a laugh about that. But good times.

[Katie]

No, I didn't eat the thing.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

It's an entirely different process.

[Katie]

Didn't eat starts.

[Pregnancy Commentator]

It's the other way up. Yes. Anyway, enough said. Well, I guess that's it.

[Katie]

Shh.

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[Podcast Host]

This is an I Heart podcast.