Armstrong & Getty On Demand
Episode: "Unless We're Having Sex, I Don't Want To Be Hugged"
Date: February 11, 2026
Podcast: Armstrong & Getty On Demand
Hosts: Jack Armstrong & Joe Getty
Producer: iHeartPodcasts
Episode Overview
In this episode, Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty dive into a wide range of topics—from figure skating nicknames and gym injuries to nuanced discussions of autism, increasing rates of youth psychosis, and the complexities of border enforcement. The duo also comments on performative politics during congressional hearings and the role of media in covering the Olympics. Characteristically witty and candid, the hosts combine personal anecdotes with national news, offering both insightful commentary and tongue-in-cheek humor.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Branding in Sports: “The Quad God” and Name Recognition
- The show opens discussing Ilia Malinin, the figure skater dubbed “The Quad God,” and raises questions about nickname branding versus real name recognition.
- Quote (Joe Getty, 01:21): “His nickname is so cool that he’s not a household name... Quad God is a household name. His name is not a household name, though.”
- Discussion on the impact of nicknames on future endorsement deals and the business side of amateur versus professional sports.
2. The Inevitable Reality of Aging & Gym Injuries
- Joe recounts his own gym injury and jokes about tracking injuries while exercising versus staying safe on the couch (02:11).
- Quote (Joe Getty, 02:41): “The couch is safe. I mean, you can look at a chart.”
- The conversation morphs into a broader discussion about midlife aches and Kevin Hart’s comedy on aging, referencing how injuries increase with age and are slower to heal (03:54).
3. Autism: Prevalence, Definitions, Diagnoses, and Myths
- The hosts tackle a clickbait-y Washington Post piece, “The autism epidemic is a myth,” critiquing both the headline and the data. They highlight how changes in definitions—such as the inclusion of former Asperger’s in the spectrum—inflate diagnostic rates (04:52).
- Joe summarizes a scientific classification from Nature Genetics about four distinct autism groups:
- Broadly affected
- Mixed autism with developmental delay
- Moderate challenges
- Social/behavioral (06:26)
- The value and purpose of a diagnosis for high-functioning adults are questioned, with the hosts sharing deeply personal reflections.
- Memorable Line (Joe Getty, 09:48): “Don’t want anybody to ever hug me under any circumstances.”
- Jack Armstrong, 09:51: “Exactly. I’m not, not hateful. Unless we’re having sex, I do not want you to hug me.”
4. Fraudulent Diagnoses & Statistical Increases
- The conversation explores the impact of intentionally false autism diagnoses and resulting funding issues, referencing fraudulent cases in Minnesota (10:35).
- Joe pushes back against the idea that rising cases are simply a matter of “weirdos” being labeled autistic, pointing to a real, visible increase—at least in children (11:58).
- Positive note: Moderate or severe autism prevalence seems to be decreasing in recent years, though causes remain uncertain (12:31).
5. U.S. Border News & Mexican Cartel Drones
- Discussion about the brief closure of El Paso International Airport due to Mexican cartel drones breaching U.S. airspace, confusion over motives, and potential implications for U.S.-Mexico relations and security (13:04–15:00).
6. Rising Youth Psychosis: Mental Health Concerns
- Joe highlights a recent Canadian study indicating that young people born in the 2000s are experiencing psychosis diagnoses at more than double the rate of those born in the late 1970s (15:08).
- Hypothesized causes: smartphones, drug potency, older parental ages, but dismisses air pollution as nonsensical (15:55).
7. Dreams and Odd Celebrity Cameos
- Joe describes his rare recent dreams, featuring Snoop Dogg and Gavin Newsom, and ponders their meaning (16:51).
- Quote (Joe Getty, 17:27): “Experts would say you just don’t remember your dreams, but I don’t know if I believe them.”
8. Controversy Over Detaining and Zip-Tying U.S. Citizen Children
- The hosts break down a viral news story about the alleged zip-tying of children by ICE/Border Patrol at the border, highlighting disputed facts, misrepresentations, and conflicting accounts (18:22–21:14).
- Jack and Joe discuss the political and practical challenges of immigration enforcement and Americans’ nuanced views towards deportation and sympathy for law-abiding migrants.
9. Congressional Hearings: Partisan Grandstanding
- The show lampoons congressional “gotcha” performances, specifically an exchange where Representative Lamonica McIver asks the Acting ICE Director if he considers himself religious and how he’ll fare on Judgment Day, then is scolded for lack of decorum (23:43–26:33).
- Quote (Rep. Lamonica McIver, 23:48): “How do you think Judgment Day will work for you with so much blood on your hands?”
- Joe Getty’s parody, 26:36: “What—I’m in hell right now. And you’re Satan.”
10. Political Legal Maneuvering
- Updates on congressional votes regarding Trump-era tariffs, and performative legal challenges against Democratic officials for supposed sedition—all ultimately amounting to political theater, not substantive change (28:20).
11. Media Manipulation & the Olympics
- Joe criticizes the media for putting young Olympic athletes in uncomfortable positions by prompting them for controversial political opinions, while ignoring hypocrisy in coverage of U.S.-born athletes competing for China (35:40).
- Quote (Joe Getty, 36:20): “These media jerks need a ski pole up them. I shouldn’t have said that.”
12. Notable Humor & Sarcasm
- Playful debunking of bad science: “There was almost no autism when we were allowed to smoke in restaurants,” and “Everyone who eats pickles dies” jokes about causation vs. correlation (28:36).
- Quote (Joe Getty, 29:02): “The science is solid on that. It’s chilling. You said there’s no settled science. That science is settled.”
Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps
-
On Nicknames and Endorsements (01:46):
Joe Getty: “Hi, I’m Ilya Malinin, the Quad God, for Gillette deodorant...”
Jack Armstrong (mock endorsement): “After spinning four times in the air, you don’t want to smell. That’s why I use Gillette deodorant.” -
On the Value of Diagnosis for Adults (09:44):
Joe Getty: “Don’t want anybody to ever hug me under any circumstances.”
Jack Armstrong: “Exactly. I’m not, not hateful. Unless we’re having sex, I do not want you to hug me.” -
On Political Grandstanding (23:48):
Rep. Lamonica McIver: “How do you think Judgment Day will work for you with so much blood on your hands?”
Joe Getty’s parody (26:36): “What—I’m in hell right now. And you’re Satan.” -
On Fact vs. Correlation (28:36):
Listener text (read by Joe): “There was almost no autism when we were allowed to smoke in restaurants.”
Joe Getty: “Everyone who eats pickles dies...That science is settled.” -
On the Olympics and Media (35:40):
Joe Getty: “These media jerks need a ski pole up them. I shouldn’t have said that.”
Timestamps for Significant Segments
- 00:27–01:46: Olympic “Quad God” branding and marketability
- 02:11–03:31: Personal gym injuries and the realities of aging
- 03:38–12:53: Autism spectrum discussions; definitions, prevalence, diagnosis trends, and related anecdotes
- 13:04–15:01: Mexican cartel drones and border airspace incursion
- 15:08–16:50: Youth psychosis rates and possible causes
- 16:51–17:54: Joe’s recent dreams featuring Snoop Dogg and Gavin Newsom
- 18:22–21:47: Immigration controversy: zip-tied U.S. citizen children
- 23:43–26:33: Congressional performance art over immigration policy
- 28:20–29:19: Political legal maneuvers regarding Trump tariffs and seditious claims
- 35:40–36:20: Media’s handling of Olympic athletes and political questions
Tone and Style
- The podcast maintains a conversational, sardonic, and irreverent tone throughout.
- Humor is used to offset heavier discussion points, often with self-deprecation or pointed satire.
- Direct, often personal language is coupled with critical takes on media, politics, and societal trends.
Conclusion
This episode of Armstrong & Getty exemplifies the duo’s hallmark blend of insight, skepticism, and humor, moving deftly between personal stories and pointed analysis of current events. Whether tackling the scope of autism diagnoses, the escalation of political theater, or the oddities of Olympic media coverage, Jack and Joe offer listeners incisive commentary laced with memorable wit and frankness.
For a deeper dive, listeners are encouraged to check out the full episode. Missed an hour? Subscribe to Armstrong & Getty On Demand.