Welcome to Your Freshman Orientation

Summary

Podcast Summary: Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: "Welcome to Your Freshman Orientation"

Date: October 10, 2025
Host: iHeartPodcasts

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Overview

In this episode of "Armstrong & Getty On Demand," the crew fields a request from a listener, "Sam Anonymous," to explain some of the most iconic sound clips and running jokes frequently referenced on the show. Drawing on their signature irreverence, Armstrong, Getty, Michael, and Katie share backstories behind these audio drops, swapping anecdotes and quips that highlight the show's long-standing bits. The episode functions as a conversational orientation for new listeners, offering a funny, nostalgic look at Armstrong & Getty lore.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. College Orientations: Too Much and Too Little

[00:17–01:23]

• Armstrong reminisces about his university days, describing freshman orientation as both "too much and too little":

  “The stuff that was actually hard to figure out, you had to figure out on your own. And they would give you the wrong information. A lot.” (Armstrong, 00:37)

• Both hosts agree on the inefficiency of reading presentations verbatim, echoing their disdain for unnecessary meetings:

  “You got it up there on a PowerPoint. Seems like you could have sent that to me and I wouldn't have driven over here and sat here and listen to you read it.” (Getty, 01:11)

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2. Listener Request: Explaining Iconic Clips

[01:23–11:50]

A. Cardi B's "Coronavirus!" Clip

[01:51–02:24]

• The infamous shout is from Cardi B, joking about the early days of the pandemic:

  “She was mocking coronavirus...Do I see any coronavirus in here? Oh, no. Coronavirus. It's everywhere. There's some too. Coronavirus.” (Getty, 02:08)

• This sparks a tangent about how surreal and naïve those initial pandemic days were, referencing a Norm MacDonald bit:

  “Norm MacDonald's joke was, isn’t it interesting that we all know how we're gonna die now, it's just a matter of what order.” (Armstrong, 02:24)

B. The Infamous "Whoa" Girls

[02:53–04:29]

• Clips of two young women exclaiming “whoa,” originally from a viral news segment about girls who stole money from a Girl Scout cookie table:

  “I think they were the girls that stole money from Girl Scout Cookie table.” (Getty, 03:36)

• The group jokes about their lack of morality and infamous explanation:

  “They had money and I wanted money.” (Armstrong impersonating, 03:50) “That is some grade A moron right there.” (Getty, 03:59)

C. "Moving Up, Moving Down"

[04:29–05:32]

• Reference to a recurring soundbite from Kenan Thompson on "Saturday Night Live," often used on the show for comic effect when discussing changes in fortune or approval ratings:

  “We now use for like the stock market or whatever it was.” (Armstrong, 04:54)

D. Kenan Thompson & SNL Tangent

[05:17–05:53]

• Discussion about SNL not being as funny lately, wondering why Kenan Thompson is still on after 23 years:

  “Why do they keep bringing back Keenan Thompson?...Does he have pictures of Lorne Michaels with an animal of your choice?” (Getty, 05:37–05:47)

E. "They Cut My Beard and Forced Me to Eat It" Clip

[06:02–06:57]

• An infamous oddball news story, wherein a man claimed in a TV interview that two acquaintances did just that:

  “That was some sort of redneck dispute, Michael.” (Armstrong, 06:21) “Their family tree is a stick...” (Armstrong, 06:44)

• The team riffs on rural family dynamics and strange local justice.

F. Gladys the Harpist

[07:01–07:43]

• "Gladys" is a fictional show's harpist, used for transitions or nostalgic storytelling:

  “She is on a one year contract and she asks for more money every year and we re up because we can’t find anybody else that can play the harp.” (Getty, 07:17)

• She’s been part of the show “since like 2003” per Michael (07:28).

G. "Fat!" Coach Soundbite

[08:06–08:37]

• A college football coach angrily defending his quarterback against media, emphasizing “fat!” in a memorable way:

  “He just spat out the word fat in...well, like this: fat.” (Armstrong, 08:37)

H. Listeners Use the Clips in Daily Life

[08:39–09:08]

• The show’s clips have become cultural shorthand for some listeners:

  “We get emails from folks all the time saying, yeah, we sprinkle those into our day to day conversation family. Which just gives me a smile every time I hear it.” (Armstrong, 08:56)

I. Hank Williams Jr.'s Obama Interview

[09:08–09:55]

• Reference to country singer Hank Williams Jr.'s controversial comments about Obama:

  “And then he was asked, so you think President Obama is a Muslim? Oh yeah.” (Getty, 09:32) “Obama.” (Guest mimics, 09:54)

J. “Drive In and Drive Out” Driveway Dispute Clip

[10:06–11:37]

• A favorite recent addition: audio from a neighborly argument over driveway usage:

  “What do you do? You drive in and you drive out. That’s what people do in their driveways, you moron.” (Guest, 10:14)

  • "That guy's exasperation is just priceless." (Armstrong, 10:25)
• The group laughs about how the clip captures universal exasperation.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On college orientation inefficiency:
  “And I can read five times as fast as you can drone on and on.” (Armstrong, 01:18)

• On the "Whoa" girls’ logic:
  “That is some grade A moron right there.” (Getty, 03:59)

• On recurring audio clips becoming part of listeners’ lives:
  “We get emails from folks all the time saying, yeah, we sprinkle those into our day to day conversation family. Which just gives me a smile every time I hear it.” (Armstrong, 08:56)

• On Hank Williams Jr.’s infamous interview:
  “And then he was asked, so you think President Obama is a Muslim? Oh yeah.” (Getty, 09:32)

• On the driveway dispute:
  “What do you do? You drive in and you drive out. That’s what people do in their driveways, you moron.” (Guest, 10:14)
  “That guy's exasperation is just priceless.” (Armstrong, 10:25)

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Timeline of Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|--------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:17 | College orientation stories and meeting complaints | | 01:23 | Listener letter: request for clip explanations | | 01:51 | Cardi B "Coronavirus!" clip explained | | 02:53 | “Whoa” girls and the Girl Scout cookie table incident | | 04:29 | "Moving Up, Moving Down" and SNL’s Kenan Thompson | | 06:02 | "They cut my beard and forced me to eat it" clip explained | | 07:07 | Origins of Gladys the Harpist | | 08:06 | The "fat" football coach soundbite | | 08:39 | Listeners using soundbites in daily life | | 09:08 | Hank Williams Jr. Obama interview | | 10:14 | "Drive In and Drive Out" driveway dispute clip |

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Tone and Style

• Conversational, irreverent, and self-deprecating.
• Banter heavy and filled with inside jokes, but made accessible for newcomers through context and explanation.
• Playful jabs at themselves, their audience, and the original sources of their famous clips.

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Summary

This episode acts as a welcoming guide for new listeners, demystifying Armstrong & Getty’s deep catalog of recurring soundbites and running gags. The crew balances humor with genuine background stories, creating an engaging introduction to “the inside baseball” of their show. Whether you’re a long-time fan looking for nostalgia or a newcomer curious about “the legend of Gladys,” this episode delivers both laughs and context.

Transcript

[Armstrong]

This is an I Heart podcast. Welcome to your freshman orientation. It's one more thing. Armstrong and Getty. One more thing. That.

[Getty]

That tone of voice was dispiriting for me. I know.

[Armstrong]

It was, wasn't it? I'm a method actor. I was remembering my early, early days in college and sitting through various orientations and stuff.

[Getty]

How many orientations did you need to be at? Or you could have figured it out on your own if you had skipped it.

[Armstrong]

There were like, there was too much and too little. Like the stuff that was actually hard to figure out, you had to figure out on your own. And they would give you the wrong information. A lot. Of course. I went to a gigantic university and so is a bureaucracy and like most bureaucracies, that they'd kind of lost touch with the. The people. But yeah, yeah, give it. Just give it to me in writing. What I hate is when they have it in writing and then they read all of it.

[Getty]

I know.

[Armstrong]

And that's all they do.

[Getty]

That's. Most meetings I go to.

[Armstrong]

They don't expand on it or interpret it or anything.

[Getty]

You got it up there on a PowerPoint. Seems like you could have sent that to me and I wouldn't have driven over here and sat here and listen to you read it.

[Armstrong]

And I can read five times as fast as you can drone on and on.

[Getty]

So.

[Armstrong]

Yeah, damn you. Anyway, the whole point is we got this charming note from Sam Anonymous, who says, fellas and Katie, I came across your incredible show recently and I'm wondering if you'll do a segment, perhaps say one more thing, Podcast, getting us newbies up to speed on the hilarious clips you frequently play. Yeah, some of the time honored clips. And he has a list.

[Getty]

No, I won't. End of podcast.

[Armstrong]

Oh, figure out on your own.

[Getty]

We're going to, I guess. Okay.

[Armstrong]

And then, Michael, we can. We can throw in some bonus stuff too. Whatever you think is appropriate. But he asked specifically, who is that bleating screecher yelling coronavirus? That is Cardi B, as I recall. Right? The famous rapper.

[Michael]

Yep.

[Armstrong]

Hip hop artist.

[Getty]

She was mocking coronavirus. Actually, she was walking around her house with her smartphone out. Do I see any coronavirus in here? Oh, no. Coronavirus. It's everywhere. There's some too. Coronavirus.

[Armstrong]

In the early days.

[Getty]

Yeah, at the very beginning. Yeah.

[Armstrong]

It's funny.

[Getty]

I saw a video the other night of Norm MacDonald doing a stand up act in a comedy club in New York when the pandemic had just started. And I remembered that, like at the very beginning, we were all still doing stuff. As in the pandemic. Pandemic. Because I remember at the school when they looked school. We're all at the park, hanging out, talking. This is kind of funny, isn't it? Anyway, Norm MacDonald's joke was, isn't it interesting that we all know how we're gonna die now it's just a matter of what order.

[Armstrong]

Yeah. Wow. Okay, so that's that. Then he asks about the two girls saying, whoa, whoa. Instead of like. Well, the second one.

[Getty]

Do them both back to back. The second one's particularly good. She gets that extra syllable in there.

[Katie]

Yeah, that last one sounds painful.

[Armstrong]

Yeah. And we, we posited at the time that stupid people say instead of. Well, they say wool, which is probably an unfair.

[Getty]

That's not characterization.

[Armstrong]

I apologize for it.

[Getty]

If somebody starts their explanation to you about something with wool.

[Armstrong]

Yeah.

[Getty]

You're about to hear some crap.

[Armstrong]

Yeah. Do you remember, Jack, who those two young ladies were?

[Getty]

I think they were the girls that stole money from Girl Scout.

[Armstrong]

Correct.

[Getty]

Cookie table.

[Armstrong]

Yep. Yeah.

[Getty]

Just horrible.

[Armstrong]

And the reporter was asking them, why would you steal from Girl Scouts?

[Michael]

Whoa.

[Armstrong]

They had money and I wanted money.

[Getty]

That was basically their explanation.

[Armstrong]

Yeah. Don't you feel bad about it? Well, I wanted money.

[Getty]

Well, I needed some money and I saw they had some money. That is some grade A moron right there.

[Armstrong]

Couple of mouth breathing dumbass.

[Getty]

And they were attractive if I remember correctly. But like, so they were super dumb, hot, morally bankrupt. Yeah. Like zero morality. Like it didn't even make sense to them that, well, you shouldn't take this, but I needed some money and there was some right there.

[Armstrong]

Wow.

[Getty]

We should just put you in prison now and then.

[Armstrong]

Oh, yeah. Preemptively. Yeah. Yeah. You can get used to it. You can learn the ropes and we won't have to worry about your future crimes. Let's see Sam Anonymous, then ask. Well, Sam Nonomas then asks about the moving up, moving down guy says it made me choke on my coffee.

[Getty]

Moving up, moving down. That Skyen Thompson from what was that.

[Armstrong]

Was a bit on Saturday Night Live.

[Getty]

I don't remember.

[Armstrong]

We now use for like the stock market or whatever it was.

[Michael]

It was something about something. It was very positive. Something good was happening in your life, I think. And then all of a sudden something bad happened.

[Getty]

Yes.

[Armstrong]

Or it was somebody's approval rating like Cosby or. I can't remember what. What the heck. Right.

[Getty]

I mentioned earlier that this season premiere of Saturday Night Live was maybe the worst episode of Saturday Night Live I'd ever seen. The Least funny. But they got a whole bunch of new cast members and Kenan Thompson's back. Does anybody have the slightest idea? Yeah, for his 23rd year or whatever.

[Armstrong]

Well, and Michael Che is too. I thought he was quitting, but there's.

[Getty]

All kinds of super funny people that got fired. Why do they keep bringing back Keenan Thompson? And I love him, he's fantastic. But is there. Does he have pictures of Lorne Michaels.

[Armstrong]

With a animal of your choice?

[Getty]

Yeah, I don't know what's going on there.

[Armstrong]

He's one of the funniest guys who's ever, you know, trod the planks. But I wonder if he just keeps asking for more and more money and they keep saying, yeah, okay.

[Getty]

Hmm.

[Armstrong]

I don't know. Then he asks Sam, Anonymous asks, why did the guy say someone cut his beard and forced him to eat it?

[Getty]

They cut my beard and forced me to eat it.

[Armstrong]

Well, the reason he said that, Sam, was because they cut his beard and forced him to eat it.

[Getty]

Who did, is the question.

[Armstrong]

That was some sort of redneck dispute, Michael.

[Katie]

Right.

[Michael]

It was some sort of robbery or something. It was, you're right, it was a dispute. And it was two guys and he was the third guy. And I think the two guys, they.

[Armstrong]

All knew each other.

[Getty]

Yeah.

[Armstrong]

And the two guy, the two guys.

[Getty]

Turned on, I'm thinking their mothers and fathers knew each other. Like they grew up together.

[Armstrong]

In the same family. Yeah. Their family tree is a stick, but yeah. So the two guys ganged up on the guy and cut off his beard and forced him to eat it over some sort of, I don't know, corn bone dispute.

[Getty]

Right. It's a common southern punishment.

[Armstrong]

I don't remember the particulars. He asks, when did Gladys make her first appearance?

[Getty]

I don't.

[Armstrong]

Wow.

[Getty]

I don't know. How long has Gladys been playing the harp for us?

[Armstrong]

I don't know. He hasn't heard from her.

[Michael]

That goes way back.

[Getty]

She does a. She is on a one year contract and she asks for more money every year. And we re up because we can't find anybody else that can play the harp.

[Armstrong]

Not that lick anyway. Not the way she plays it. I mean, that's her stairway to heaven.

[Michael]

I think Gladys has been with us since like 2003.

[Armstrong]

Wow.

[Michael]

Goes way back.

[Getty]

That makes getting a little pissy lately though, because she was in her early 80s when we hired her, so she is 100.

[Armstrong]

Feels entitled. Katie, you know.

[Katie]

Got it.

[Armstrong]

She knows we can't fire just.

[Getty]

She can't hear any of this. So you can say anything you want.

[Armstrong]

World War I vet artillery? Yeah. Those cannons going off whenever we reminisce about something. Gladys plays the harp. Sound like when I was a kid.

[Getty]

Gladys. There you go.

[Armstrong]

I remember when I was 8 years old. Life is simpler then.

[Michael]

Theater of the mind.

[Getty]

Yes, exactly.

[Armstrong]

Michael, what, what are other great clips? Time. Do you have the fat clip? Yeah, that's, that's just. That was a college football coach chewing out the media because they turned on his quarterback and he was really defending the kid in a good way because, you know, the media treats college players like they're, you know, pro players. But he's screaming that they're saying he's a bad quarterback. They called him fat and he just spat out the word fat in. Well, like this fat.

[Getty]

And it comes in handy fairly regularly.

[Katie]

Do you guys ever use these outside of the show? Because I catch myself doing certain sounds all the. Like. Like if one of my friends says something stupid, just pop into my life at random times throughout the day.

[Getty]

That is pretty funny.

[Armstrong]

We get emails from folks all the time saying, yeah, we sprinkle those into our day to day conversation family. Which just gives me a smile every time I hear it. But what else, Michael is worthy of inclusion in this?

[Michael]

One of my favorites from way back was Hank Jr. Oh yeah, yeah. Said all the time.

[Armstrong]

Yeah. That was his screed about Obama.

[Getty]

Obama, yeah.

[Armstrong]

Being a Muslim, correct?

[Getty]

Yeah.

[Michael]

From SNL.

[Armstrong]

Oh, yeah.

[Getty]

Oh yeah. But that's actually Hank Jr. There. That's when he was being interviewed, I think on Larry King.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Armstrong]

Yes.

[Getty]

And then he was asked, so you think President Obama is a Muslim? Oh yeah.

[Armstrong]

And then. But one of the first parts of the interview is he said he is this, he is that. And Larry King said, are you talking about the president? And, and, and Hank Jr says yeah, Obama.

[Guest]

Obama.

[Armstrong]

There it is.

[Getty]

Oh, Hank Williams Jr. That's fantastic.

[Armstrong]

Where have you gone? What else, Michael? Anything leap to mind?

[Michael]

No, but this, this is a newer clip, but I haven't been able to really use it that often. But it's still, to me, one of the funniest clips we have.

[Guest]

What do you do? You drive in and you drive out. That's what people do in their driveways, you moron.

[Getty]

That was a short list for clips of the year last year.

[Armstrong]

It was, it was absolutely in the finals. I love it. That guy's exasperation is just priceless.

[Getty]

I could use Gladys in my real life. I wish her back wasn't so bad she couldn't carry the harp around because it'd be handy I'm always telling my kids stories about things I did when I was younger. It'd be handy if she was there.

[Katie]

Katie, I was just thinking that that guy just losing his mind was all over a driveway dispute.

[Armstrong]

Right, Right. That was the whole tape where she was yelling at him. And finally he loses.

[Katie]

He loses it like that.

[Getty]

He.

[Katie]

Right after, he goes, that's a driveway.

[Armstrong]

She goes, you're an idiot.

[Getty]

His neighbor was mad because he kept driving in and out of the driveway. And that's when he said this.

[Guest]

What do you do? You drive in and you drive out. That's what people do in their driveways.

[Getty]

You.

[Armstrong]

Oh, my God. That is one of the funniest things ever.

[Getty]

We've all been there.

[Michael]

Never get tired of that.

[Getty]

We've all been there. When you're so exasperated you can barely make sense and get your words out in the right order because you're just so.

[Katie]

You run out of air.

[Getty]

Yeah.

[Guest]

What do you do? You drive in and you drive out. That's what people do in their driveways.

[Getty]

You.

[Armstrong]

His exasperation coupled with the fact that he knew he was winning the argument, there's a fair amount of triumph in his voice as well. Delicious.

[Michael]

Well, I hope you enjoyed that. I guess that's it.

[Getty]

That was a good one. That was easy. Amen. Oh. Oh, for.

[Armstrong]

This is an I Heart podcast.