We'll Just Refer to Them As...the K-O-F.

Summary

Armstrong & Getty On Demand – Episode Summary

Episode Title: We'll Just Refer to Them As...the K-O-F.
Air Date: April 7, 2026
Hosts: Jack, Michael, GPT (AI voice/character)
Podcast Network: iHeartPodcasts

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into the bizarre yet scientifically intriguing world of flatulence research, primarily focusing on the work of Dr. Michael Levitt—dubbed “the King of Farts (K-O-F)”—and science’s surprisingly serious examinations of human gas. The hosts, Jack and Michael, wrestle with the maturity level of the subject, alternating between lighthearted banter and actual scientific discussion as they explore the history, key findings, and outlandish research studies that attempt to answer the age-old question: whose flatulence is worse, men or women?

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Introduction and Reluctance about the Topic

• Jack introduces the theme, referencing Dr. Michael Levitt, a notable gastroenterologist known for pioneering flatulence research.
• Michael expresses skepticism about discussing flatulence, worried it sounds childish, while Jack insists, “This is a discussion of science.” (00:31)

The “King of Farts”—Dr. Michael Levitt

• Jack recounts how Dr. Levitt rose to fame after being introduced to a gas chromatograph, a device typically used in soil and crime investigations, but which Levitt used to analyze human flatulence.
• Notable achievement: Levitt helped develop space suits with charcoal filters so “astronauts [don’t inhale] their own flatus during a spacewalk.” (02:27)
• Jack lightens the mood: “The best system we had prior was you just kind of have to like toot in your own helmet.” (03:31 – Michael)

The Groundbreaking Gender Study

• Referencing a new book by another gastroenterologist, Trisha Pasricha, Jack describes the infamous study:
  • 16 men and women were fed gas-inducing foods (beans and lactulose).
  • Researchers collected gas via rectal tubes and gas bags, then analyzed the results via chromatography.
  • Standout moment: “The flatus collected in these bags was then sniffed and rated by two independent judges on who signed up for that gig. Oh, my God, listen to Jack. He is suffering.” (06:18 – Jack, Michael)

Results: Who's Flatus Is Worse?

• Key scientific conclusion: Women’s flatus had a “much greater odor intensity,” but men produced a larger volume. The effect is about equalized in real life due to volume vs. concentration.
  • Jack: “But it gets better. The flatus collected in these bags was then sniffed and rated by two independent judges.” (06:18)
  • Michael: “So as a zero, you could say, congratulations, your shit doesn't stink.” (07:06)

Flight and Flatulence: Why Planes Bring Trouble

• Jack explains why we all get gassy on airplanes, referencing the ideal gas law (PV=nRT):
  • Increased altitude lowers pressure, making gas expand in your gut.
  • “Before you judge anyone aboard, remember the ideal gas law...” (08:26 – Jack)
• Michael: Claims he doesn’t relate to the experience, prompting Jack to accuse him of “fart denial.” (09:06)

Pepto Bismol: A Flatus Defense?

• Dr. Levitt’s research proved that bismuth subsalicate (Pepto Bismol) “binds and neutralizes more than 95% of sulfide gases in the gut.” (09:22 – Jack)
  • Suggests a pre-flight regimen for those anxious about gas in confined spaces.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jack’s hesitation:
  “I climbed the steps to the high dive with great verve and confidence and I got out there and thought, nope.” (01:38)

• Michael’s banter:
  “If you give me a few minutes, I could go down to the grade school and get an 8 year old and they could come in and do this, because that's who would appreciate it.” (01:52)

• On astronaut space suits:
  “He helped develop space suits filtered with activated charcoal to prevent astronauts from having to inhale their own flatus during a spacewalk.” (02:27 – Jack)

• The sniff test:
  “The flatus collected in these bags was then sniffed and rated by two independent judges on who signed up for that gig. Oh, my God, listen to Jack. He is suffering.” (06:18 – Jack/Michael)

• Worst job in science:
  “Popular Science ranked Levitt's flattest odor judge as the worst job in science.” (07:06 – Jack)

• Airplane advice:
  “Before you judge anyone aboard, remember the ideal gas law, PV equals nRT.” (08:26 – Jack)

• Michael’s discomfort:
  “It's the only time ever in 30 years I've ever been ashamed to be a part of this.” (10:13 – Michael)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:27 – Introduction of Dr. Michael Levitt as the “king of farts”
• 01:38 – Jack’s moment of self-doubt and humor about the topic’s childishness
• 02:27 – Dr. Levitt’s role in NASA’s astronaut suits (flatulence filtration)
• 05:20 – Haribo sugar-free gummy bear story and the science of sugar alcohols
• 06:15–06:47 – Detail of the infamous gas collection and sniffing study
• 07:06 – “Worst job in science” and the actual findings of the gender flatulence study
• 08:26 – Explaining why passengers get gassy on airplanes and the ideal gas law
• 09:22 – Scientific solution: Pepto Bismol binds odor-causing gases
• 10:13 – Michael’s candid shame and comedic wrap-up

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Tone & Style

The episode oscillates between irreverent humor and genuine scientific inquiry. Jack tries to maintain a veneer of seriousness, while Michael is often incredulous or embarrassed by the subject matter, with frequent quips and sarcastic asides. The conversational style invites laughter but also delivers legit science about flatulence—a surprisingly overlooked yet universal human experience.

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Conclusion

In trademark Armstrong & Getty fashion, the hosts take a topic most would avoid and turn it into a curious blend of education and laughter. Whether intrigued by the “worst job in science,” amused by Michael’s discomfort, or genuinely interested in why airplane air is sometimes less than fresh, listeners get a memorable, quirky exploration of the science of human gas—courtesy of the King of Farts, Dr. Levitt. The episode closes with a sense of relief and defeat, proving that science can be both fascinating and very, very funny.

Transcript

[Jack]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human. For Jack's sake, we'll just refer to him as the kof. It's One More thing.

[Michael]

Armstrong and Getty.

[Jack]

One more thing. Dr. Michael Levitt, a gastroenterologist, became known as the king of farts.

[Michael]

Is that going to be the topic of the podcast? Do I have to participate in this?

[Jack]

You really don't if you don't want to, because evidently you have no interest in science. This is from a brand new book that's been written by another gastroenterologist, Trisha Pasricha. Sorry if I got your name wrong, Trisha. The title of the book is you've been pooping. All wrong. But this section of the book also concerns the art of gastroenterology, Jack. Specifically flatulence.

[Michael]

Hard fought primary.

[Jack]

That's. There's no need for foolishness, Michael. Again, this is a discussion of science. She writes and she is a she, Jack. Science has finally settled the age old debate of who's. Oh, I can't. You know what, it's funny. I've come to the brink. I'm standing on the high dive and I don't want to jump off because it's so. It sounds so childish and base.

[Michael]

Yes, yes, it does. That's my point.

[GPT]

Yeah, I thought you were all, oh, it's science. Just.

[Jack]

I'm going to. I. I know. Well, I climbed the steps to the high dive with great verve and confidence and I got out there and thought, nope.

[GPT]

Well, you can do it. I believe in you.

[Jack]

Wow, thanks for that GPT.

[Michael]

Now, if you give me a few minutes, I could go down to the grade school and get an 8 year old and they could come in and do this, because that's who would appreciate it.

[Jack]

I'll use fancy words because it makes me feel better. Science has finally settled the age old debate of whose flatulence is more objectionable, men or women.

[Michael]

Oh my God, it's even worse than I thought.

[Jack]

Oh, just getting started. That's right. Science is right.

[GPT]

It's the first sentence, Jack. It'll be all right.

[Jack]

So Anyway, I mentioned Dr. Michael Levitt. It actually gets more interesting and less childish from there. So Levitt, one day, while a gastroenterology fellow, was called into his advisor's office and introduced to a new laboratory instrument, the gas chromatograph. And this thing is actually used in many applications. It analyzes gas content in soil. It's used in crime scene investigations, but of course, to two gastroenterologists, it was clear that someone should use it to Gain a better understanding of the most pressing of scientific needs. And that would be indeed farting. And so an illustrious career was born. Levitt eventually published over 300 original scientific works, has won every prestigious award of the American Gastroenterological Association. He helped develop space suits filtered with activated charcoal to prevent astronauts from having to inhale their own flatus during a spacewalk. Hmm. I'm sure the. As we speak these words, the fellows and gal up in space and the Artemis 2 mission are enjoying his technology right now.

[Michael]

The best system we had prior was you just kind of have to like toot in your own helmet.

[Jack]

Well, yeah, essentially. God, yeah. Do the George Carlin bit on this topic.

[Michael]

Seagull, full Dutch oven in your space suit.

[GPT]

And now, thanks to this science Jack, they don't have to toot in their own helmets.

[Jack]

Well, and quite literally, who smelt it, dealt it an aggressive scent. Oh, wow, I was trying so hard. So then actually this lady gastroenterologist. This sentence is pretty funny, but it was one particular study that put the gender debate to rest. And it is a study I return to often, both in my clinic and at dinner parties where I have on occasion misjudged the room. So this Levitt character invited 16 healthy men and women to consume items that boost gas production, specifically pinto beans on a synthetic sugar called lactulose. Now, was that a factor in the legendary sugar free gummy bear review that was posted to. Was it Amazon the first time? Haribo. Yeah, gummy bears the first time I read that. And it spawned many attempts at imitation. And you people should be ashamed of yourselves. Quit painting faux Mona Lisa's. I had tears streaming down my cheeks the first time I read that review. It's brilliantly written and it had to do with the just spectacular gastrointestinal effects of wolfing down way too much lactulose.

[GPT]

See you in hell, Haribo.

[Jack]

Sugar free gummy bears. That's it. Yes. Yeah. Oh, the descriptions are. It's some of the best humor I think, that's ever been written in the English language anyway. But just I'd say, you know, bing it or whatever, but you don't want to find an imitation participants. Okay, so they fed the men and women the pinto beans and lactolose participants and listen to this. I used to, as longtime listeners know, I would earn five bucks the hard way going to college. I was a. I would make myself the subject of psychology department experiments, which were always actually pretty interesting. It was an hour of my time and at the time it was decent Enough money. It might have been 10 bucks, I don't know. But. So participants were fed the beans and lactulose. Then they showed up to the laboratory where a rectal tube was inserted and made a gas tight seal with their derrieres.

[GPT]

Oh, Kay.

[Jack]

The tube was then connected to a gas impermeable bag and after releasing what they must, its contents were subsequently evaluated by chromatography. But it gets better. The flatus collected in these bags was then sniffed and raided by two independent judges on who signed up for that gig. Oh, my God, listen to Jack. He is suffering.

[Michael]

Oh, that's so awful.

[Jack]

Where they were judged on a linear scale where 0 was no odor and 8 was very offensive. An aggressive scent worth mentioning. In the year 2003, Popular Science ranked Levitt's flattest odor judge as the worst job in science.

[Michael]

So as a zero, you could say, congratulations, your shit doesn't stink.

[Jack]

Exactly. Exactly. So their job was terrible, but their contributions were enormous. She writes, they found that compared to

[GPT]

that of men job in science, I'd

[Michael]

say, oh, that's awful.

[Jack]

Compared to that of men, the flattest of women, women had a much greater odor intensity. But hold your horses. Which reminds me of Kramer and the horse and Seinfeld, of course, that he fed beef areno. What was it? Something like that, yeah. The study also found though, that men produced a larger volume of gas per toot. And Levitt argued that because flatus ability to simulate the nose is more dependent on volume than on concentration. Noxious gas. That is debatable. These differences between the sexes balance out in real life. Now, let's see. She takes a shot of teenage boys, which is really mentions their lack of restraint in this. This realm. But final couple of really interesting scientific facts because I have no interest in debating the man woman thing. That would just be indelicate. And you know me, Mr. Delicate.

[Michael]

You're not going to get me to comment on it.

[Jack]

Still, in certain situations, she writes, no matter your skills in, you know, controlled explanation, we're all helpless. One such situation is air travel. We are all gassy on a plane. Maybe it's you, maybe it's your neighbor. Before you judge anyone aboard, remember the ideal gas law, PV equals nrt. With increasing altitude, air pressure, including intestinal air pressure falls. Therefore, the volume of your intestinal gas has to expand. The air in your colon is blocked from traveling backward by a small muscular valve connecting it to the small intestine.

[Michael]

Are you all relating to this? I don't relate to that. I have not had this experience.

[Jack]

Oh my God, you and your fart denial.

[Michael]

Well, I just have not had this experience. Does this happen to people on planes? I've never heard anybody mention it in my life.

[Jack]

Well, it's because we're trying to be

[Michael]

delicate, like I said.

[Jack]

But yes, it's nearly universal. Really?

[Michael]

Yes.

[Jack]

Therefore, the only path Flatus can take is forward and outward where it joins the recirculating cabin air for the remainder of the flight. Which is delightful. But if you need a simple last minute solution to gas our friend and foe, take Bismooth subsalicate over the corner. 524 milligrams by mouth, four times a day beforehand will do the job. Bismuth subsalicate, better known as Pepto Bismol, binds and neutralizes more than 95% of sulfide gases in the gut. Another landmark discovery from the great Dr. Levitt.

[Michael]

There you go.

[Jack]

Worst job, science, the KLF right there.

[GPT]

I enjoyed the information just about as much as I loved the just look of disgust on Jack's face.

[Michael]

Yeah, yeah, I am. It's the only time ever in 30 years I've ever been ashamed to be a part of this.

[Jack]

Well, it was. It was discussed. And like being beaten down.

[GPT]

Yeah.

[Jack]

It kind of combined into a delightful,

[GPT]

nice little disgust and defeat.

[Jack]

Crushing of his spirit. Yeah, defeat. That's the word. He was defeated there. Well done, Dr. Levitt. Your name will live on in glory. Well done, sir. I tried to activate my glutes as best I could in between, but they never stayed activated. Well, I guess that's it.