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We're Going To Know You Better Than Your Proctologist

Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Tue Apr 14 2026

Summary

Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: We're Going To Know You Better Than Your Proctologist
Date: April 14, 2026
Hosts: Jack Armstrong & Joe Getty
Producer: iHeartPodcasts

Episode Overview

This edition of Armstrong & Getty On Demand delves into the rapidly shifting situation in Iran amid U.S.-led blockades, the confusion and potential collapse of the Iranian regime, Eric Swalwell’s dramatic fall from grace, and a lively Springsteen concert review. The hosts blend international affairs, irreverent humor, and first-person anecdotes, moving seamlessly from the Strait of Hormuz to monkey civil wars, and from California politics to concert etiquette.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Iran Crisis & U.S. Blockade

Blockade Overview:
- The U.S. enforces a maritime blockade, affecting all ships entering Iranian ports regardless of nationality.
  
  “Any ship that engages with the Iranian ports. Doesn’t matter what you’re doing or where you’re from. We are interdicting.” — Jack Armstrong (03:35)
- Military ambiguity remains about what exactly will happen if Russian or Chinese ships are involved (03:35–04:12).
Strategic Implications:
- The intent is to pressure Iran economically and force a return to the negotiating table, but Iran views it as a “ceasefire violation” and threatens retaliation (04:22–04:52).
- China is rumored to pressure Iran to deescalate, but the scenario is unpredictable (05:11).
Collapse or Survival?
- The Iranian regime is described as disorganized and potentially leaderless, with the new supreme leader, Mustafa Khamenei, absent from public view since the U.S and Israeli strikes (05:36–06:56).
- The current power vacuum could lead to regime collapse or prolonged instability:
  
  “How did, how did a regime collapse? Gradually, then suddenly, who knows?” — Jack Armstrong (07:30)
- The U.S. and Israel reportedly hope continued strikes will increase domestic pressure and cause the regime to fall (06:56–07:20).
Negotiations & Verification:
- Talks center on Iran agreeing to pause uranium enrichment (five years offered, U.S. wants 20).
- Verification’s intrusiveness cues the episode’s title:
  
  “We’re going to know you better than your proctologist.” — Joe Getty (12:55)

2. Eric Swalwell Scandal

Resignation & Fallout:
- Swalwell resigns from Congress and exits California’s governor’s race amidst allegations of misconduct:
  
  “His number one issue right now might be his wife.” — Jack Armstrong (27:49)
- The hosts debate whether accusations could be criminal, or are more likely personal failings (28:01–29:23).
Financial Shenanigans:
- Swalwell spent vastly more on child care than peers, fueling money laundering suspicions (18:12–18:39).
Billionaire Backer Betrayal:
- Major donor Stephen Klubeck (described as a “tight jean billionaire” and “cartoon character”) kicks Swalwell out after feeling betrayed:
  
  “I said, pal, you busted the trust. I’m disappointed and disgusted. Get the [expletive] out of here.” — Stephen Klubeck, via Fox 11 (33:46) “You bust the trust, you don’t exist in my life.” — Stephen Klubeck (34:27)
- This sparks a running joke about T-shirts with the phrase “Don’t bust the trust” (34:03–34:45).
Political Dynamics:
- The hosts muse on politicians’ relationships with eccentric, wealthy backers (35:25–36:13).

3. International Monkey Business

Chimpanzee Civil War:
- In Uganda, the largest wild chimp group is in the midst of a deadly internecine conflict—“the first monkey civil war in half a millennium” (19:40–19:54).
- Evolutionary biologist Colin Wright explains the groups were once united but have violently split for “no obvious reason other than social drift” (20:59–22:56).
  
  “As the great Abraham Lincoln said, a chimp group divided against itself cannot stand.” — Joe Getty (23:02)
- The hosts riff on the human parallels and joke about chimp politics.

4. Concert Review: Bruce Springsteen & Etiquette

Concert Experience:
- Jack Armstrong attended a Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band concert with his sons—amazed by the energy, longevity (Springsteen is 76), and professionalism:
  
  “If he was 38, I would wonder. How do you do that for three and a half hours? He’s 76. Wow.” — Jack Armstrong (45:37) “They are professionals. They have come to give you a show, period. Not to express their hearts, to give you a show.” — Joe Getty (43:04)
Annoying Attendees:
- Jack laments “douchebags” in expensive seats, talking loudly during the show:
  
  “Don’t talk loudly at concerts. … Go hang out by the bar and drink if that’s what you want to do. Don’t talk loudly at concerts. The whole time you want to say to your friend, wow, that horn section is something, that’s fine, but the ongoing conversation, you freaking idiots, please don’t do that.”—Jack Armstrong (47:27)
Family Reactions:
- Jack’s teenage sons crack jokes about the older crowd:
  
  “This must be what it’s like to stand in line for Social Security.” — Jack’s son Henry (46:04)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Strategic Ambiguity:

“We’re going to interdict them. You better believe we’re going to interdict them.” — Joe Getty (04:12)
On U.S. Policy Projections:

“Too early to tell right now. There’s so many moving parts. We’re just going to have to stay tuned and see how it goes.” — Joe Getty (07:56)
On Political Downfall:

“You bust the trust, you don’t exist in my life.” — Stephen Klubeck (34:27) “No, I was blown away.” — Stephen Klubeck, repeated for comedic effect (35:09)
On Chimpanzee Warfare:

“The first monkey civil war in half a millennium. Yeah, that’s quite a thing.” — Jack Armstrong (19:48) “A chimp group divided against itself cannot stand.” — Joe Getty (23:02)
On Concert Etiquette:

“If you don’t want to be there, that’s fine, but go hang out by the bar and drink… Don’t talk loudly at concerts. The whole time… you freaking idiots, please don’t do that.” — Jack Armstrong (47:27)
On Interpersonal Boundaries:

“We’re going to know you better than your proctologist.”—Joe Getty (12:55)

Timestamps for Important Segments

Iranian Blockade and Regime Unrest: 03:06–13:02
Verification & “Proctologist” Line: 12:52–13:32
Eric Swalwell Scandal, Financials & Backer Betrayal: 17:44–37:41
Chimpanzee Civil War: 19:04–23:43
Springsteen Concert Review & Etiquette Rant: 41:08–48:06

Tone & Style

Language: Conversational, irreverent, wisecracking, sometimes sardonic.
Chemistry: Banter-filled, quick shifts between levity and serious analysis.
Approach: Skeptical of official narratives; frequently break for real talk and humor.
Listener Usefulness: Episode blends timely geopolitical analysis, political scandal, quirky science, and relatable gripes. Ideal for those who want both news insight and a laugh.

For more episodes:
Subscribe or listen to “Armstrong & Getty On Demand” wherever you get your podcasts!

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Transcript

Sponsor Announcer (0:00)

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Jack Armstrong (43:45)

There were four. Bruce played more lead than I've ever seen him play before, but there were four different guys doing guitar solos. Anyway. I won't go. Like I said, I won't go on and on about the music because you either like it or not. But as a wannabe musician, it was just absolutely stunning how you could do that. If he was 38, I would wonder. How do you do that for three and a half hours? He's 76. Wow. How is that even possible? How does your voice. How do you stand for three and a half hours when you're 76 and not get tired, let alone running around the stage soaked in sweat and howling at the top of your voice? It just. It defies physics that that could even happen. Anywho, a lot of people were asking about the politics part of it, and I Was wondering about that myself. It was a non factor. It was just a non factor. He said a couple over three and a half hours. He said a few things here and there. Who cared? The long speech he gave, which I'm sure I would have really rolled my eyes out. I went to the bathroom during the long speech where he sits down at the beginning of the stage at the very front of the stage to give the band a rest. He never rests. He gives the rest of the band arrest. But anyway, he comes out there and his first words were something like, we have an illegal Supreme Court that answers to an. Okay, I've got time to go to the bathroom. And so we went to the bathroom and got a pretzel. Whatever came back and he was done. And it was back into the music. But, God, they did a. The amazing thing. I remember, I thought this the last time I saw Bruce Springsteen in the East Bend. It's like every song is their end of the show highlight, Good night song. It's like the showstopper you put at the end is every freaking song. And I. I don't know how they pull off that. That intensity. But he went from Ghost Tom Joad with Tom Morello playing the guitar solo and electric version into Badlands. And it was just the best musical experience of my life. It was just unbelievably stunning.

Summary

Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: We're Going To Know You Better Than Your Proctologist
Date: April 14, 2026
Hosts: Jack Armstrong & Joe Getty
Producer: iHeartPodcasts

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Iran Crisis & U.S. Blockade

Blockade Overview:
- The U.S. enforces a maritime blockade, affecting all ships entering Iranian ports regardless of nationality.
  
  “Any ship that engages with the Iranian ports. Doesn’t matter what you’re doing or where you’re from. We are interdicting.” — Jack Armstrong (03:35)
- Military ambiguity remains about what exactly will happen if Russian or Chinese ships are involved (03:35–04:12).
Strategic Implications:
- The intent is to pressure Iran economically and force a return to the negotiating table, but Iran views it as a “ceasefire violation” and threatens retaliation (04:22–04:52).
- China is rumored to pressure Iran to deescalate, but the scenario is unpredictable (05:11).
Collapse or Survival?
- The Iranian regime is described as disorganized and potentially leaderless, with the new supreme leader, Mustafa Khamenei, absent from public view since the U.S and Israeli strikes (05:36–06:56).
- The current power vacuum could lead to regime collapse or prolonged instability:
  
  “How did, how did a regime collapse? Gradually, then suddenly, who knows?” — Jack Armstrong (07:30)
- The U.S. and Israel reportedly hope continued strikes will increase domestic pressure and cause the regime to fall (06:56–07:20).
Negotiations & Verification:
- Talks center on Iran agreeing to pause uranium enrichment (five years offered, U.S. wants 20).
- Verification’s intrusiveness cues the episode’s title:
  
  “We’re going to know you better than your proctologist.” — Joe Getty (12:55)

2. Eric Swalwell Scandal

Resignation & Fallout:
- Swalwell resigns from Congress and exits California’s governor’s race amidst allegations of misconduct:
  
  “His number one issue right now might be his wife.” — Jack Armstrong (27:49)
- The hosts debate whether accusations could be criminal, or are more likely personal failings (28:01–29:23).
Financial Shenanigans:
- Swalwell spent vastly more on child care than peers, fueling money laundering suspicions (18:12–18:39).
Billionaire Backer Betrayal:
- Major donor Stephen Klubeck (described as a “tight jean billionaire” and “cartoon character”) kicks Swalwell out after feeling betrayed:
  
  “I said, pal, you busted the trust. I’m disappointed and disgusted. Get the [expletive] out of here.” — Stephen Klubeck, via Fox 11 (33:46) “You bust the trust, you don’t exist in my life.” — Stephen Klubeck (34:27)
- This sparks a running joke about T-shirts with the phrase “Don’t bust the trust” (34:03–34:45).
Political Dynamics:
- The hosts muse on politicians’ relationships with eccentric, wealthy backers (35:25–36:13).

3. International Monkey Business

Chimpanzee Civil War:
- In Uganda, the largest wild chimp group is in the midst of a deadly internecine conflict—“the first monkey civil war in half a millennium” (19:40–19:54).
- Evolutionary biologist Colin Wright explains the groups were once united but have violently split for “no obvious reason other than social drift” (20:59–22:56).
  
  “As the great Abraham Lincoln said, a chimp group divided against itself cannot stand.” — Joe Getty (23:02)
- The hosts riff on the human parallels and joke about chimp politics.

4. Concert Review: Bruce Springsteen & Etiquette

Concert Experience:
- Jack Armstrong attended a Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band concert with his sons—amazed by the energy, longevity (Springsteen is 76), and professionalism:
  
  “If he was 38, I would wonder. How do you do that for three and a half hours? He’s 76. Wow.” — Jack Armstrong (45:37) “They are professionals. They have come to give you a show, period. Not to express their hearts, to give you a show.” — Joe Getty (43:04)
Annoying Attendees:
- Jack laments “douchebags” in expensive seats, talking loudly during the show:
  
  “Don’t talk loudly at concerts. … Go hang out by the bar and drink if that’s what you want to do. Don’t talk loudly at concerts. The whole time you want to say to your friend, wow, that horn section is something, that’s fine, but the ongoing conversation, you freaking idiots, please don’t do that.”—Jack Armstrong (47:27)
Family Reactions:
- Jack’s teenage sons crack jokes about the older crowd:
  
  “This must be what it’s like to stand in line for Social Security.” — Jack’s son Henry (46:04)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Strategic Ambiguity:

“We’re going to interdict them. You better believe we’re going to interdict them.” — Joe Getty (04:12)
On U.S. Policy Projections:

“Too early to tell right now. There’s so many moving parts. We’re just going to have to stay tuned and see how it goes.” — Joe Getty (07:56)
On Political Downfall:

“You bust the trust, you don’t exist in my life.” — Stephen Klubeck (34:27) “No, I was blown away.” — Stephen Klubeck, repeated for comedic effect (35:09)
On Chimpanzee Warfare:

“The first monkey civil war in half a millennium. Yeah, that’s quite a thing.” — Jack Armstrong (19:48) “A chimp group divided against itself cannot stand.” — Joe Getty (23:02)
On Concert Etiquette:

“If you don’t want to be there, that’s fine, but go hang out by the bar and drink… Don’t talk loudly at concerts. The whole time… you freaking idiots, please don’t do that.” — Jack Armstrong (47:27)
On Interpersonal Boundaries:

“We’re going to know you better than your proctologist.”—Joe Getty (12:55)

Timestamps for Important Segments

Iranian Blockade and Regime Unrest: 03:06–13:02
Verification & “Proctologist” Line: 12:52–13:32
Eric Swalwell Scandal, Financials & Backer Betrayal: 17:44–37:41
Chimpanzee Civil War: 19:04–23:43
Springsteen Concert Review & Etiquette Rant: 41:08–48:06

Tone & Style

Language: Conversational, irreverent, wisecracking, sometimes sardonic.
Chemistry: Banter-filled, quick shifts between levity and serious analysis.
Approach: Skeptical of official narratives; frequently break for real talk and humor.
Listener Usefulness: Episode blends timely geopolitical analysis, political scandal, quirky science, and relatable gripes. Ideal for those who want both news insight and a laugh.

For more episodes:
Subscribe or listen to “Armstrong & Getty On Demand” wherever you get your podcasts!