Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: "Why Do You Keep Your Urine In Bottles, Jeb!?"

iHeartPodcasts | February 5, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode revolves around an eclectic mix of current events, media criticism, and trademark Armstrong & Getty irreverence. The hosts dissect national news stories, from the alleged kidnapping of Annie Guthrie’s mother to Bill Gates’ association with Jeffrey Epstein, examine self-driving car technology, and riff on quirky news (ancient booze, medical studies involving recreational drugs, and explosive discoveries—literally). The episode’s title, referencing urine bottles, is a tongue-in-cheek nod to the hosts’ banter about peculiar historical finds.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Annie Guthrie Kidnapping Case Coverage

(03:05 – 13:16)

• Media Handling & Sensationalism:

  • The hosts critique the coverage of the alleged kidnapping of Annie Guthrie's mother, highlighting how news outlets (notably Ashley Banfield) irresponsibly speculate on case details and "prime suspects."

  • They stress the harm caused by premature or baseless accusations, especially against family members, and how “clickbaity” podcasts are rewarded for sensationalism, not accuracy.

    • Quote:
      “So you’re tamping down a rumor that you’re starting. Correct.”
      – Host [07:56]

    • Quote:
      “The world o' clickbaity podcasts has realized there’s no premium for telling the truth... A lot of the top podcasts in the world lie constantly.”
      – Host [08:45]

• Ransom, Investigation, and Law Enforcement:

  • Discussion of law enforcement’s press conference strategy and media expectations for daily updates.

  • Hosts reflect on the practicalities of ransom communications and kidnapping scenarios, casting doubt on the effectiveness and frequency of successful ransom exchanges.

    • Quote:
      “How often is a kidnapping successful anyway? ...The percentage has got to be incredibly low.”
      – Host [12:44]

2. Media Criticism & The Effects of Sensationalism

(09:11 – 10:53)

• They discuss how sensational stories headline news regardless of truth and the impact this has on real people’s lives.

• The decision by networks (e.g., News Nation) to air speculative content is sharply criticized.

  • Quote:
    “You can’t be claiming family members did it unless you got some real solid information...”
    – Host [10:10]

3. 150-Year-Old Booze & Jeb's Urine Bottles

(17:39 – 19:14)

• Lighthearted segment riffing on the discovery and potential tasting of a 150-year-old beer/wine.

• The conversation veers into old-timey preservation anxieties ("Why do you keep all your urine in bottles, Jim? I just feel like I should keep my urine for posterity.” [19:04]), referencing the episode title.

  • Quote:
    “I’m getting notes of Reconstruction with a little bit of a... getting a little McKinley in there.”
    – Host [18:20]

4. Psychedelic Medical Studies: Side Hustle?

(19:14 – 22:38)

• Discussion of Northwell Health’s program paying participants to experience drugs (psilocybin, MDMA, cannabis) in home-like settings for scientific research.

• The hosts poke fun at the setup, comparing it to college dorm life and questioning the scientific necessity.

  • Quote:
    “Do you really need to do this? Can’t you just ask a whole bunch of people who’ve lived that lifestyle?”
    – Host [20:52]

5. Bill Gates, Epstein, and Party Culture

(25:47 – 31:56)

• Coverage of Bill Gates’ public apology regarding his association with Jeffrey Epstein, the subsequent fallout, and skepticism about the parties involved.

• Examination of how the wealthy socialize, the boundaries of legality vs. morality, and critiques of both conspiracy theories and mainstream narratives.

  • Quote:
    “I don’t believe there’s a giant global child sex trafficking, rape dismemberment ring at all. So that’s off the table.”
    – Host [28:21]

  • Quote:
    “If Elon Musk said, ‘Hey, you having any of your big parties?’ I’ll bet Jeffrey Epstein had unbelievable blowout parties…in which there were no 17 year olds at all.”
    – Host [29:21]

6. Self-Driving Cars: Hype vs. Reality

(33:04 – 38:46)

• Recap and commentary on a CBS segment about the progress and dangers of autonomous vehicles (particularly Waymo and Tesla).

• Criticism of media overplaying minor errors by self-driving cars, the impracticality of “zero mistakes” standards, and the hypocrisy considering human drivers' behavior.

  • Quote:
    “There was a lot about that, I thought it was interesting…But everybody sounded like they were trying to get to zero mistakes. Are you certified to be completely mistake-free? …None of us are, as safe as these self-driving cars are.”
    – Host [34:27]

  • Quote:
    “If Waymo does it or Tesla does it, it makes the news. And they act like proof that you can’t have self-driving cars…Everybody’s done that.”
    – Host [38:07]

7. Philosophy Corner: Bertrand Russell and Socialism

(42:39 – 46:26)

• The hosts present philosopher Bertrand Russell’s critique of Marxism and socialism, arguing most leftist movements are motivated by resentment rather than altruism.

• Quotations from Russell and their own analysis underscore that socialist movements are often about punishing the successful, not uplifting the downtrodden.

  • Quote:
    “Marx and people who believe in it pretend that they want the happiness of the proletariat. What they really want is the unhappiness of the bourgeois.”
    – Quoting Bertrand Russell [43:58]

  • Quote:
    “Socialism sucks. It’s always miserable, it always fails, and it always ends up in tyranny. And yet many young people are attracted to it. Could it be because neuroscientists have revealed Gen Z-ers are the first generation since records began to be kept to be less intelligent than their parents?”
    – Host [46:02]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|---------|-------| | 07:56 | Host | “So you’re tamping down a rumor that you’re starting. Correct.” | | 08:45 | Host | “The world o' clickbaity podcasts has realized there’s no premium for telling the truth... A lot of the top podcasts in the world lie constantly.” | | 10:10 | Host | “You can’t be claiming family members did it unless you got some real solid information...” | | 12:44 | Host | “How often is a kidnapping successful anyway? ...The percentage has got to be incredibly low.” | | 18:20 | Host | “I’m getting notes of Reconstruction with a little bit of a... getting a little McKinley in there.” | | 19:04 | Host | “Why do you keep all your urine in bottles, Jim? I just feel like I should keep my urine for posterity. I’m gonna need it.” | | 20:52 | Host | “Do you really need to do this? Can’t you just ask a whole bunch of people who’ve lived that lifestyle?” | | 28:21 | Host | “I don’t believe there’s a giant global child sex trafficking, rape dismemberment ring at all. So that’s off the table.” | | 29:21 | Host | “If Elon Musk said, ‘Hey, you having any of your big parties?’ I’ll bet Jeffrey Epstein had unbelievable blowout parties…in which there were no 17 year olds at all.” | | 34:27 | Host | “Are you certified to be completely mistake-free? …None of us are, as safe as these self-driving cars are.” | | 38:07 | Host | “If Waymo does it or Tesla does it, it makes the news. And they act like proof that you can’t have self-driving cars…Everybody’s done that.” | | 43:58 | Quoting Bertrand Russell | “Marx and people who believe in it pretend that they want the happiness of the proletariat. What they really want is the unhappiness of the bourgeois.” | | 46:02 | Host | “Socialism sucks. It’s always miserable, it always fails, and it always ends up in tyranny...” |

Segment Timestamps

• 03:05 – Annie Guthrie’s Family, Media Response & Kidnapping Investigation
• 09:11 – The Dangers of Sensational Podcast News & Media Critique
• 17:39 – Old Booze Taste-test & “Urine Bottles” Bit
• 19:14 – Medical Studies: Psychedelics & Couch Potato Science
• 25:47 – Bill Gates, Epstein, and The Power of Rumors
• 33:04 – Self-Driving Cars: Technology, Safety, and Political Posturing
• 42:39 – Bertrand Russell, Socialism, and Motivations of The Left

Tone & Style

The hosts maintain a sardonic, skeptical, and often self-deprecating tone throughout, blending sharp political and social commentary with humor and pop culture references. They frequently interrupt each other for comedic effect, riffing on news headlines with personal anecdotes, asides, and cultural observations.

For Listeners Who Haven’t Tuned In

This episode is quintessential Armstrong & Getty: irreverent, sharply critical of media, packed with social commentary, and peppered with digressions that might be as memorable as the main topics. If you’re interested in current event analysis, skeptical media takes, and the occasional philosophical hot take—all seasoned with banter—this episode is for you.