Loading summary
Jack Armstrong
This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human kids pets life. Your sofa sees it all. But with a washable sofa, stains don't stand a chance. All of our sofa collections come with fully machine washable covers and cushions, making cleanup effortless. Liquid and stain resistant fabrics provide extra protection against everyday messes. Plus, with modular designs, you can rearrange your sofa however you like. Perfect for growing families and changing spaces. Starting at just $699, it's time to upgrade to a stress free mess proof sofa. Visit washablesofas.com and save. Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply. There's a fire inside you you can't ignore. Stand still. Not a chance. You're a lifelong learner who's come this far. Now we are here to help you keep going further. Capella University what can't you do? Visit Capella. Edu to learn more.
Joe Getty
You know when a commercial becomes a thing everyone's suddenly talking about? Yep, this is one of those Elf cosmetics just dropped an absurdly funny telenovela called Melissa celebrating positivity, inclusivity and Accessibility stars Melissa McCarthy but the Elf Glow Reviver Lip Oil. When language fails her and lips are dull and dry, only glow can revive. The Elf Glow Reviver Lip Oil is an ultra glossy tinted lip oil that nourishes, hydrates and enhances your lips natural color. Watch the full episode of the new E L F E novella@soyun bagno.com magnesium supplements.
Jack Armstrong
You've mastered that. Now take it to the next level. Upgrade to Solar Ray Magnesium Glycinate from the number one magnesium brand in health food stores. With a 50 year legacy of quality and trust, Solaray triple tests every raw ingredient for identity, purity and potency. The result? Expertly chelated magnesium for powerful muscle, bone and relaxation support that fits your daily stack. Shop Solaray Magnesium Glycinate on Amazon or solaray.com these statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
Joe Getty
Broadcasting live from the Abraham Lincoln Radio Studio at the George Washington Broadcast Center,
Jack Armstrong
Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty.
Joe Getty
Armstrong and Getty. And now here's Armstrong and Yeti. A teacher got caught urinating in a coffee container in a classroom during a break. It actually happens to be school kids. Joe's kids went to but we by
Katie Green
a clandestine surveyor surveillor of him.
Joe Getty
The story has leaked out. And of course in big scandals like this, the drip drip drip of new information is
Katie Green
I'm not even gonna dignify that with a laugh. That was a low moment.
Joe Getty
Okay. Although, although we have established it's, it's, it's not as bad the urination as if it had been like a number two in a Maxwell House can correct.
Katie Green
Whether you're listening live or streaming, I hope your stream is strong and steady so you can enjoy this hour of the Armstrong and Getty show. Yes, Katie, why you've stooped you just now. He was having too much fun. I was feeling left out.
Joe Getty
You had to cut me off.
Katie Green
Right, right.
Joe Getty
Oh boy, oh boy. Anyway, we got some interesting text responses to this. One of the interesting things about this story. Well, why did you do that, dude? But the other part is dudes are like eh, probably shouldn't but whatever. And women are horrified.
Katie Green
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So interesting. And we're the perfect show to answer the questions on everybody's mind. So stay with us. But first, it's the beloved Friday tradition. Let's take a fond look back at the week that was its cow clips of the week. The Supreme Court's ruling on tariffs is deeply disappointing.
Joe Getty
They're very unpatriotic and disloyal to our Constitution institution. I think it's an embarrassment to their families. You want to know the truth? The two of them, two aircraft carrier
Katie Green
strike groups, more than 100 cargo planes. And we're hopeful that we're able to come to a good resolution without the military.
Joe Getty
It turned very quickly.
Katie Green
All we heard was gunshots.
Jack Armstrong
Several cartel members were killed, including El Mencho, the head of the new generation Jalisco cartel.
Katie Green
A deadly gun battle off the coast.
Joe Getty
Coast of Cuba. Four people killed aboard a Florida registered speedboat.
Katie Green
If we will give him all he wants, we will lose everything. Our houses, our lives.
Jack Armstrong
We need her to come home. For that reason, we are offering a
Katie Green
family reward of up to $1 million. In New York City, meanwhile, the police
Joe Getty
are investigating an incident you may have seen online. In Washington Square park, officers were pelted by snowballs. Spokesperson for the Clint.
Jack Armstrong
Former President Bill Clinton and former secretary Hillary Clinton. She says the Clintons. The Clintons. Clinton. I'm afraid the issue is not my understanding, but rather the problem is perhaps you've gotten adjusted. I'm in love with my AI boyfriend. And then some time passes and they pop back up again. And here's the catch. They act like nothing happened.
Katie Green
Flash across it comes.
Joe Getty
Jack Hughes wins it.
Katie Green
The golden goal for the United States.
Jack Armstrong
I love the US Say I love my teammates.
Katie Green
I'm so proud to be American today. I'm like you. I'm no better than you. I'm a 960sat guy and that's why
Joe Getty
I titled my book I'm like you because I'm like you. I didn't write it because I don't know how to read or write because I'm dumb. If you agree with this statement, then stand up and show your support. The first duty of the American government is to protect American citizens, not illegal aliens.
Katie Green
Nobody stands up.
Joe Getty
These people are crazy. I'm telling you, they're crazy.
Jack Armstrong
It's Clips of the Week.
Katie Green
The reaction to Gavies I'm just like you. Especially you black people. I'm dumb has been greeted with nothing but derision. I'm looking at the list of folks who commented from Nina Turner, former Democratic lawmaker from Ohio, Nicki Minaj, Tim Scott and Andrew Stiles and the Free Beacon points out the long history of this sort of thing in the Democratic Party, from Hillary's hilarious accents to Joe Biden talking about Romney's gonna put you all back in chains and equated blackness with poverty, explaining that poor kids are just as bright and talented as white kids. Wow.
Joe Getty
I I need to bring us back to the top issue, maybe the number one issue, if you want to call it that of a teacher.
Katie Green
Oh boy.
Joe Getty
Urinating in a coffee can in a classroom.
Katie Green
I tried, folks.
Joe Getty
Let the record show you empty classroom. The question being, of course, let's assume the best. We don't. We now know the guy's name. We're not going to say it on the air, but it'll be everywhere now that the video is out. I'm gonna assume the best, but so say he pays his bills on time, faithful to his wife, raised children in a responsible way, good teacher, et cetera, et cetera. Moses Lawn is an entire man's life defined by urinating in a coffee container in the classroom?
Katie Green
I say no. That was my not in my America.
Joe Getty
That was good. My Mr. Smith goes to Washington speech trying to defend a guy who peed in his workplace.
Katie Green
Had a little bit of Atticus Finch to it too. Yes, To Kill a Mockingbird. Hey, got this email from Jeff. I wish I had thought of that when I was teaching. There's often not enough time to get to the bathroom. I've had times where I didn't have more than a couple of minutes between students coming in. I had to run across the campus at lunchtime to the closest bathroom in the office. Couldn't even get the door closed. Blah, blah blah. Concerns are a major factor for teachers. Women frequently get bladder infections did you
Joe Getty
when you urinated near classroom, say gosh, gosh, gosh, that's nice when you're done.
Katie Green
That to me is outside the scope of this investigation. Now to that email, that is an untoward personal detail that you are just. Again, I will not.
Joe Getty
It's yellow journalism. Yes, Katie. Oh, she's good. God. To that emailer's point, the door for class did open back up like within a minute and a half after he zipped her up.
Katie Green
So 90 seconds. You're in this business, you know how long 90 seconds is?
Joe Getty
Yeah, but I can go to the
Katie Green
lunchroom, pour myself a cup of coffee and amble back exchanging pleasantries with co workers in 90 seconds. Come on.
Joe Getty
I don't know. I'm not having my wang out within 90 seconds of a kid coming through the door. Especially if for some reason, like you said earlier, they come in early because they left something in their backpack or something.
Katie Green
Whatever. I hate to say this out loud because now I'm working your side of the street. It seems like incredibly bad judgment because every classroom locks these days because of the horrific situation with a school shooter that you wouldn't lock the door real quick even if you are going to do that. So, and here's where I'm really ashamed of myself. Is there a bit of a feeling of sport to it or a bit of a thrill?
Joe Getty
Almost the gosh, gosh, gosh, gosh, that's nice. Sounds like some sort of thrill. Well, if you're wondering what the listeners thought, you're in luck.
Katie Green
Here we go. Would you want to do a show together?
Jack Armstrong
I would love that.
Katie Green
Eddie and Green, wouldn't that be good?
Joe Getty
Yes, I'm in. We have some text here.
Katie Green
Can I run your board? Yes.
Joe Getty
It's gross and it's a sad case but it shows you the power of union negotiations protection of its members. Well, we might see that because I have a feeling, I have a feeling just because people, the way they react to these things, there's going to be a push to get rid of the guy and I have no idea if that's appropriate or not. Mr. Gosh, gosh, gosh. Will claim says this texter, inadequate break time or subpar facilities for teachers thus causing a urinary tract infection. He will sue the school district and
Katie Green
when not at the bladder infections that Jeff the teacher alerted.
Joe Getty
Not at all out of the realm of possibility.
Katie Green
Well, the important thing is the taxpayer will pay either way.
Joe Getty
Para Reese paru rusis. I don't know how to say it. Shy bladder would explain the Teacher's actions perfectly. It's a condition. So you're going to go after people who are. You're. You're an ableist. You're going after people who are handicapable, suffering from power. And then this one. Because this person agrees with me. I'm suspicious too. Did you know there's a sub genre of teacher inclusive staged classroom absurdity on YouTube. It's a thing.
Katie Green
Wait a minute. There's what now?
Joe Getty
This isn't staged. A sub genre of teacher inclusive like teachers in on it. Staged classroom absurdity on YouTube. I have seen those before where the teacher and the kids get together on something and then post it like it was a crazy thing happened and it goes viral.
Katie Green
Wow.
Joe Getty
That's not.
Katie Green
This.
Joe Getty
You don't think. No, because. No. I don't think that's even possible. What makes me think it's more believable? If he had said nothing, I'd be willing to believe it more than the.
Jack Armstrong
I just.
Joe Getty
I've. I've been around a lot of dudes peed in my life. I'm the kind of go that guy that goes to bars where you peed a trough. We're all standing at a trough.
Katie Green
Like good Lord.
Joe Getty
I like this like an animal. I've never heard anybody exclaim anything, let alone. Can we hear the audio? Gosh. Gosh. Gosh. That's not.
Katie Green
Oh God. So. But gave me the idea that it's danged. That just doesn't have the tinkle of truth to you. Okay.
Joe Getty
Gideon Green is off.
Katie Green
Oh no. It was so promising.
Joe Getty
Tinkle of truth.
Katie Green
I already spent my signing bonus.
Jack Armstrong
It doesn't. First of all.
Joe Getty
And Jack, you're bringing up the crop job on this. It was shot on a laptop, so it was obviously cropped on both sides. So it could go on TikTok. Not to mention the fact that if his parts were in it it wouldn't be postable. And it just. I don't see why this would be one of those staged things when he can lose his job for it. It'd be pretty edgy.
Katie Green
No. Oh my Lord. No. It's not that. It's not that we can dismiss that possibility from the investigation. It's like George H.W. bush eating babies. It's a crackpot tip. Moving on.
Joe Getty
Any other thoughts on that? Probably the most interesting part of it is the divide between men and women between. Eh. And this is a horror.
Katie Green
But again, I talked about it.
Joe Getty
But I talked about peeing outside at the farm. I mean just. I. I've known women that just I've mentioned that before in groups and the women just think it's awful. Like you should, you know, a quarter mile from your house, get in your truck and drive back to a bathroom.
Katie Green
Right? I know.
Joe Getty
Pee behind the truck.
Katie Green
We in the very town where this teacher is doing his thing. We moved from a house where I had ample space because I did all of our, like, landscape stuff for years and years. We moved from a house where I had several excellent choices for outdoor urination to a house where I didn't. And oh, such a drag. I'm like, I'm. I'm covered with dirt and sweat and everything else. Now I gotta take off my boots, I gotta walk, and I gotta shake all the leaves off my. Come on.
Joe Getty
I. If you're a new listener, you wouldn't know this, but my kids were born, we were on 40 acres and then we were on 20 acres. So for most of their childhood. And so I. I'll bet having grown up rural, I've probably peed outside more than inside in my lifetime.
Katie Green
Totally. Wow. This is. This probably ought to be in chapter one of your autobiography. That's fascinating.
Joe Getty
I have the statement from the principal chapter if you guys want.
Katie Green
Yes.
Joe Getty
Yes. This afternoon, after school dismissal, which is debatable, a parent and a staff member informed the school, informed the school administration that a student recorded video showed a staff member engaging in conduct inconsistent with our professional standards. While the video does not. Wait just to nail that down. That's inconsistent with your professional standards.
Katie Green
That's not part of your professional standards.
Jack Armstrong
Right?
Joe Getty
That's not on there in the man.
Katie Green
It's supposed to be a Gatorade bottle in the school procedures, not a Folgers can.
Joe Getty
While the video does not involve any students or other staff, the staff member has been placed on leave while the Granite Oaks Middle School and Rockland Unified School District investigate the incident. Investigate investigates the incident. How long's that investigation gonna take? Looks to me like you peed in a coffee can. Yeah, I did. That's quite the investigation. Now what? While we are unable to share specific, please be assured that we take this matter very seriously and are addressing it. And you're in for answers soon. Just kidding.
Katie Green
I added that last part. You're an idiot now. I'm quitting our show.
Joe Getty
Nobody's got a show. Okay, any thoughts? Text line 415295 KFTC.
Jack Armstrong
Armstrong and Getty. Life gets messy spills, stains, head accidents and kid chaos. But with anibe, cleaning up is easy. Our sofas are fully machine washable inside and out so you never have to stress about messes again. Made with liquid and stain resistant fabrics, that means fewer stains and more peace of mind. Designed for real life, Our sofas feature changeable fabric covers allowing you to refresh your style anytime. Need flexibility? Our modular design lets you rearrange your sofa and effortlessly. Perfect for cozy apartments or spacious homes. Plus, they're earth friendly and built to last. That's why over 200,000 happy customers have made the switch. Upgrade your space today. Sofas start at just $699. Visit washablesofas.com now and bring home a sofa made for life. That's washablesofas.com offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.
Joe Getty
There's drama and then there's full telenovela level drama.
Jack Armstrong
Yes, and Elf Cosmetics went all the way there. Elf Cosmetics just dropped something wildly unexpected. A full blown, absurdly funny telenovela celebrating positivity, inclusivity and accessibility. It's called Melissa and it's absurd in the best way. It stars Melissa McCarthy, TV doctor Nicholas Gonzalez and iconic telenovela villain Itati Cantoral, but the real star? Elf Glow Reviver Lip Oil.
Joe Getty
When the language fails her and her lips are dull and DR, only glow can revive her. Melissa McCarthy, who I love, fully commits by even rolling the ARRs with E L F Glow Reviver Lip Oil.
Jack Armstrong
Elf Glow Reviver Lip Oil Reviver Lip Oil is an ultra glossy lip oil that nourishes, hydrates and enhances your lips natural color. Available in 10 shades at only $9 each.
Joe Getty
Watch the full episode of their new E L f novella on soyumbanyo.com yes
Jack Armstrong
and drench your lips in an addictive sheer watch of ultra glossy color with E L F Glow Reviver Lip Oil Magnesium Supplements. You've mastered the basics. Now it's time to optimize. If you're serious about dialing in your health, upgrading your magnesium isn't optional. It's the key to leveling up your whole body. That's where Solaray Magnesium Glycinate comes in. Mag Gly from the One Magnesium brand in health food stores, Solaray has a 50 year legacy of delivering quality and trust in every capsule. Each ingredient is triple tested for identity, purity and potency in Solaray's GMP Certified facility in Ogden, Utah. That means what's on the label is what's in your bottle. No guesswork, just premium Mag Gly plus. It's chelated in house for powerful muscle, bone and relaxation support that's designed for optimal absorption and gentle digestion. It's the upgrade your routine's been waiting for. Shop Solaray Magnesium Glycine on Amazon or solaray.com these statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
Joe Getty
Owning a home is full of surprises. Some wonderful, some not so much. And when something breaks, it can feel like the whole day unravels. That's why HomeServe exists for as little as 4.99amonth. You'll always have someone to call, a
Katie Green
trusted professional ready to help, bringing peace
Joe Getty
of mind to four and a half million homeowners nationwide. For plans starting at just 499amonth, go to homeserve.com that's homeserve.com not available everywhere. Most plans range between 499 to 1199amonth.
Katie Green
Your first year terms apply on covered repairs overnight. In Texas, we've learned the Department of Defense mistakenly shot down a Customs and Border Protection drone they believed was a threat, prompting the FAA to restrict flights near El Paso.
Joe Getty
Yeah, the interesting part of that story is. I don't think she mentioned it there. They shot it down with a laser.
Katie Green
Yeah, they used a laser.
Joe Getty
We have lasers that can shoot things down. I don't know that I knew that.
Katie Green
Yeah. I liked the bureaucratese style comment that the Pentagon shot down a seemingly threatening drone in Texas leading to FAA restrictions. So as a border patrol drone, the Pentagon shot it down with a laser and the FAA said, hey, what are. Do these people all have each other's phone numbers? Oh, boy.
Joe Getty
Two quick texts. We got one from a family whose kid is in that classroom, has that teacher and one of the kids did purposely record the teacher. The teacher we parents really like. It's too bad he did this. So we'll see what happens with that. The other text I liked was I'm mostly offended that he drinks Folgers. I. I've had two people make me coffee in the last couple of months using Folgers crystals and it was great. And both cases I think asked what's this coffee? It was so good. It was just Folgers instant coffee and
Katie Green
it was really unique taste. Yeah. That I don't dislike.
Joe Getty
No, I don't dislike it either. And it's super cheap.
Katie Green
Boy, I like coffee.
Joe Getty
Bill Clinton currently testifying on Epstein. Anything going to come out of that? I have no idea. I think the best.
Katie Green
Anything relevant or important? No. Gossip worthy perhaps.
Joe Getty
Right. If he. If he struggles to deal with the questions because of his age, that would be kind of interesting just in that he was really, really, really good at that back in the day. And he certainly got lots of practice because he, he got hauled in to have to answer questions about a lot of different things throughout his life in front of the press or, you know, whoever.
Katie Green
We don't have time to do much right here, but perhaps on the other side of the break we can talk about this. Super interesting the in plastic surgery, particularly among women.
Joe Getty
I'm going to get the neck tuck.
Katie Green
Oh boy, look at that.
Joe Getty
Look how much younger I look.
Katie Green
Immediately 10 years younger, like a child. Just stop doing that to your neck. The great cosmetic undoing is here. Women having procedures undone is the newest trend.
Joe Getty
Like what?
Katie Green
Mostly fillers and various plumpings of various parts. Plumping things getting smaller. Implants. No longer wanting to look like they're in anaphylactic shock with their lips. Right.
Joe Getty
I pull my.
Katie Green
Oh, pull that back. You look like you're being hanged for some crime.
Joe Getty
I think I look younger, not like I'm being hanged.
Katie Green
I. You look like you stole a horse in the old West. That's what you look like. Anyway, more on that and much more.
Joe Getty
Yeah, lots of stuff on the way. If you missed a segment at the podcast Armstrong and Getty on Demand, you should subscribe.
Jack Armstrong
Armstrong and Getty Life gets messy spills, stains, head accidents and kid chaos. But with Anabe, cleaning up is easy. Our sofas are fully machine washable inside and out, so you never have to stress about messes again. Made with liquid and stain resistant fabric, that means fewer stains and more peace of mind. Designed for real life, our sofas feature changeable fabric covers allowing you to refresh your style anytime. Need flexibility? Our modular design lets you rearrange your sofa effortlessly. Perfect for cozy apartments or spacious homes. Plus they're earth friendly and built to last. That's why over 200,000 happy customers have made the switch. Upgrade your space Today sofas start at just $699. Visit washablesofas.com now and bring home a sofa made for life. That's washablesofas.com offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.
Joe Getty
There's drama and then there's full telenovela level drama.
Jack Armstrong
Yes, and Elf Cosmetics went all the way there. E L F Cosmetics just dropped something wildly unexpected. A full blown, absurdly funny telenovela celebrating positivity, inclusivity and access called Melissa. And it's absurd in the best way. It stars Melissa McCarthy, TV doctor Nicholas Gonzalez and iconic telenovela villain Itati Cantoral. But the real star Elf Glow Reviver Lip Oil.
Joe Getty
When the language fails her and her lips are dull and dry, only Glow can revive her. Melissa McCarthy, who I love, fully commits by even rolling the arrs with Elf Glow Reviver Lip Oil.
Jack Armstrong
Elf Glow Reviver Lip Oil Reviver Lip Oil is an ultra glossy lip oil that nourishes, hydrates and enhances your lip lips natural color. Available in 10 shades at only $9 each.
Joe Getty
Watch the full episode of their new E L f novella on soyumbanyo.com yes
Jack Armstrong
and drench your lips in an addictive sheer watch of ultra glossy color with E L F Glow Reviver Lip Oil Magnesium supplements. You've mastered the basics. Now it's time to optimize. If you're serious about dialing in your health, upgrading your magnesium isn't optional. It's the key to leveling up your your whole body. That's where Solaray Magnesium glycinate comes in. Mag Gly from the number one magnesium brand in health food stores, Solaray has a 50 year legacy of delivering quality and trust in every capsule. Each ingredient is triple tested for identity, purity and potency in Solaray's GMP certified facility in Ogden, Utah. That means what's on the label is what's in your bottle. No guesswork, just premium Mag Glide. Plus it's chelated in house for powerful muscle, bone and relaxation support that's designed for optimal absorption and gentle digestion. It's the upgrade your routine's been waiting for. Shop Solaray Magnesium Glycinate on Amazon or solaray.com these statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. When your schedule sounds like this. Are you kidding me? An oil change change is the last thing you have time for. So drive into Take five and let our techs change your oil. Check your tires, top off your fluids and have you back on the road pit stop fast. All while you stay in your car. No putting your entire schedule on hold. No upsells, no problem. So you can get back to your to do list or not. Find your nearest shop@take5.com Take 5 the Stay in your car 10 minute oil change Friday
Joe Getty
gonna be super nice where where I live be riding bikes and playing catch at the football. Can't wait.
Katie Green
Good for you. Any of these jokes funny Michael that we haven't gotten to yet?
Joe Getty
Yeah, there's one about Trump's love for McDonald's.
Katie Green
I think it's kind of fun. There you go.
Joe Getty
During Their White House visit this week, President Trump reportedly served the US Men's
Katie Green
Olympic Hockey Team McDonald's.
Joe Getty
I mean, of course he did. I think he only invites people to the White House so he can get McDonald's.
Katie Green
This is a lot of people. Should we just hit the drive through?
Joe Getty
That was. If you saw that video, that was really great. Those dudes seemed super happy and excited about it too.
Katie Green
Of course they were. Yeah. And who could have a problem with it? The New York Times.
Joe Getty
Right, right.
Katie Green
And your lefty Alphabet networks. So back to a couple of stories that are not terribly important, I don't think, but they're interesting. Undoing is the great new trend in, excuse me, in plastic surgery. Undoing breast implants and various plumpings and fillings and that sort of thing. Patients are following in the footsteps of pioneers like Victoria Beckham, who had her breastplants removed. Kylie Jenner and Courtney Cox, both of whom spoken openly about having dermal filler dissolved.
Joe Getty
Where did they have it?
Katie Green
On their faces, I think probably cheekbones. They may be hoping that an excavation will reveal their original bone structure, at least lips that don't look like they're in the throes of anaphylactic shock. But warns Muni Bishop, a board certified dermatologist, blah, blah, blah, who's got nearly 18 million followers on TikTok. Whoa, what the hell? Says he gets these questions all the time. Filler. He says the most common cosmetic treatment he sees getting reversed, though simply dissolving it won't get the job done. Quote, once you have all that volume in your skin, when you take it away, it's like a deflated balloon.
Joe Getty
That's not a good look. Look.
Katie Green
That's not a good look. He advises deflating clients to try radio frequency micro needling such as Morpheus 8 to tighten their skin. Oh, boy.
Joe Getty
I, I, I'm not surprised that some people decide they don't want the giant boobs that they got.
Katie Green
Yeah.
Joe Getty
At some point in their life.
Katie Green
We have patients who have had years and years of fillers, says Melissa Doft, MD, who runs the kind of low key Park Avenue office that's a magnet for wealthy clad head to toe in the row. I don't know what the row is.
Joe Getty
Oh, I read about this just the other day. Yeah, it's a, it's a popular thing. Okay.
Katie Green
Designer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. High dollar. Obviously, as women seek smaller lips, they're also seeking daintier breast implants or removing the implants altogether, sometimes adding a breast lift and some fat grafting. Etc.
Joe Getty
Oh, Boy yeah, I meant to bring that on the air. The row is the hot thing. If you want to be like the cool in have the the trendiest stuff. The row is what it's all about.
Katie Green
Few procedures are harder reverse than a buttock augmentation, Jack. I know that's what's held you back. What if I have to reverse it? You asked. Trying to undo a Brazilian butt lift by sucking it out of the body carries the risk for nerve damage, asymmetry and skin laxity.
Joe Getty
Asymmetry all out of inside's all bulgy and the other side's all flat. Ain't no good.
Katie Green
Let's see that. That story I've decided is not that interesting. Oh, oh, don't. Speaking of high $, don't mention the brand Now Jack was shopping for a very high dollar bed the other day.
Joe Getty
I was.
Katie Green
And Aileen Anonymous who says please don't mention my name if you read this I don't want anyone to know how gullible we were. They bought said crazy expensive bed and the she said the promises, unlike the bed ain't worth squat.
Joe Getty
The promises that they'll come and fluff it.
Katie Green
The ongoing service promise. Yes, yes.
Joe Getty
It's because this bed, it's ridiculously expensive. I laid on beds that were 91 was $96,000. The mattress in the box springs people, not the bed. You got to buy the bed. And a $400,000 bed. Yes, $400,000 bed which is just insane. But it comes with a lifetime service of then coming to your house and flipping it over and fluff it in stuff. But this person says that they weren't
Katie Green
happy with the promise of that.
Joe Getty
Yes.
Katie Green
Yeah, yeah. It didn't happen. They had to do it themselves and it's really heavy. Blah blah. And they didn't give us the booties. My husband had to pay for them.
Joe Getty
Oh, they gave me the booties.
Katie Green
That's because you're an exciting celebrity. Probably.
Joe Getty
Maybe. They must have thought I was actually going to pull the trigger on that bed. I've read a whole bunch of reviews from people who said roughly the same thing. Wish I hadn't done it. But I've read reviews from people on Reddit who say it's absolutely amazing. The price is ridiculous, but it's also amazing.
Katie Green
Yeah, complete change of topic here. Zoran Mamdani is an actual communist and an actual Islamist and a hater of Jewish people. His international affairs commissioner who he just appointed is a Defund the police radical who campaigned for lieutenant governor on a platform that Included billions of dollars in giveaways to illegal aliens, including free health care. She is a hardcore hard left socialist slash communist activist.
Joe Getty
My favorite story this week was the whole snow shoveling thing that you had to. If you wanted to shovel your neighbors, shovel your neighbor's drive or, you know, their spot in the street to get their car out. You had to go on the government website and apply for permission, certificate or something with multiple forms of identification. Yeah, yeah.
Katie Green
How crazy?
Joe Getty
How. How Soviet is that?
Katie Green
Yeah, it was an actual. It was actually to shovel out, like, intersections and bus stops and stuff like that paid for by the city. But the guy, a guy in the Free press wrote an article about the experience, and he said the city put out word, no, you don't need two photos anymore. Don't bother. And then he got there and the lady said, yes, you do. And so he had to run off to find a CVS that was open. That picture. The camera was working, and he took a couple of pictures at a few bucks each came back, he got. Then they sat around waiting for instructions for hours and hours while the bureaucrats argued with each other.
Joe Getty
Very Soviet. Yeah. Of course, with the punchline being there against having to show a ID to vote, but you have to show an ID to shovel snow.
Katie Green
Right, Right. Yeah. Just absolutely crazy. We will replace the frigidity of rugged
Joe Getty
individualism with the warmth of collectivism.
Katie Green
This gal who I was talking about, Mamdani's communist assistant, first came to fame in 2018 when she burst into the Senate elevator to confront then senator Jeff Flake.
Joe Getty
I remember that ahead of the Supreme
Katie Green
Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh's confirmation vote. Screeching. What you're doing is allowing someone who actually violated a woman to sit on the Supreme Court. She was considered such a hero that a invited her as a guest to the 2019 State of the Union.
Joe Getty
Flake caved, by the way, because of that woman.
Katie Green
Good Lord. Flake flakes. Yeah, he's a communist. He's an actual communist.
Joe Getty
Huh?
Katie Green
What are you gonna do? People in New York wanted to commie. They gotta commie. Good luck.
Joe Getty
Bill Clinton, it's leaking out a little bit. Is testifying on the whole Epstein thing right now. Bill Clinton denies any knowledge of Jeffrey Epstein's crimes and says he did nothing wrong to a House pack panel, which does not surprise me. He did have Epstein come to the White House 17 times in the eight years he was president, which is quite a few visits. And flew on the plane and went to the island and sat in a hot tub with A hottie. Although we don't know much about the hottie because she's blurred out in all the pictures I've seen. But he'll have to answer that question. I don't know that they're trying to get him on any particular thing other than just make him do what they want him to do.
Katie Green
Yeah, it's just grandstandy silliness. Even if Bill's old, he's a lawyer, he's a successful politician. He knows what he can say and what he can't say. Even if he had some knowledge that they're seeking.
Joe Getty
Bill. Bill Clinton, former President, first time a former president has ever testified in a situation like this. He put out a statement. I don't know, I doubt he read this whole thing. It looks very long, but he entered it into the Congressional Record Record Bill Clinton as someone who grew up in a home with domestic abuse. And if you know his story, he did. His dad was a drunk who died drown in a ditch, Right? Yeah. As someone who grew up in a home with domestic abuse, not only would I not have flown on his plane if I had any inkling of what he was doing, I would have turned him in myself and led the charge to prosecute him. Might have to read more of that. That's pretty powerful. Yeah, well, there's a difference between abuse and going to parties where you know there's going to be lots of young women around or perfectly happy to get with a powerful guy.
Katie Green
Right, right. And. And there are plenty of powerful guys who would be more than happy to have a bunch of 20 something models at a party, some of whom were goers, as they say, who would run in terror if they found out that any of them were underage. People make this assumption that everybody who is into knowing Jeffrey Epstein was into underage girls, which is absolutely not true. Or even that everybody who is into like sexual looseness with Jeffrey Epstein was into underage girls, which I think is also inaccurate.
Joe Getty
Right.
Katie Green
I've known scumbags. I've separated myself from them and gone away from them. They keep the circle of people who know about the worst stuff very, very tight. You have to.
Joe Getty
Yeah, I'll look at a little more of that Bill Clinton statement, see if there's anything worth mentioning. And we will finish strong.
Katie Green
Next, Armstrong and Getty.
Jack Armstrong
Kids, Pets, Life. Your sofa sees it all. But with a washable sofa, stains don't stand a chance. All of our sofa collections come with fully machine washable covers and cushions, making cleanup effortless. Liquid and stain resistant fabrics provide extra protection against everyday message. Plus, with modular designs you can rearrange your sofa however you like. Perfect for growing families and changing spaces. Starting at just $699, it's time to upgrade to a stress free mess proof sofa. Visit washablesofas.com today and save offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.
Joe Getty
There's drama and then there's full telenovela level drama.
Jack Armstrong
Yes, and Elf Cosmetics went all the way there. Elf Cosmetics just dropped something wildly unexpected. A full blown absurdly funny telenovela celebrating positivity, inclusivity and accessibility. It's called Melissa and it's absurd in the best way. It stars Melissa McCarthy, TV doctor Nicholas Gonzalez and iconic telenovela villain Itati Cantoral. But the real star? Elf Glow Reviver Lip Oil.
Joe Getty
When the language fails her and her lips are dull and dry, only glow can revive her. Melissa McCarthy, who I love, fully commits by even rolling the arrs with E L F Glow Reviver Lip Oil.
Jack Armstrong
Elf Glow Reviver Lip Oil Reviver Lip Oil is an ultra glossy lip oil that nourishes, hydrates and enhances your lip lips natural color. Available in 10 shades at only $9 each.
Joe Getty
Watch the full episode of their new E L f novella on soyumbano.com yes
Jack Armstrong
and drench your lips in an addictive sheer watch of ultra glossy color with E L F Glow Reviver Lip Oil Magnesium supplements. You've mastered that. Now take it to the next level. Upgrade to Solaray Magnesium Glycinate from the number one magnesium brand in health food stores with a 50 year legacy of quality and trust. Solaray triple tests every raw ingredient for identity, purity and potency. The result? Expertly chelated magnesium for powerful muscle, bone and relaxation support that fits your daily stack. Shop Solaray Magnesium Glycinate on Amazon or solaray.com these statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. When your schedule sounds like this. Are you kidding me? An oil change is the last thing you have time for. So drive into Take five and let our techs change your oil. Check your tires, top off your fluids and have you back on the road pit stop fast. All while you stay in your car. No putting your entire schedule on hold. No upsells, no problem. So you can get back to your to do list or not. Find your nearest shop@take5.com take five the stay in your car 10 minute oil change.
Joe Getty
So Bill Clinton testifying in the Epstein hearing. And again, this is a norm. Breaking in that, no, no former president has ever been forced to testify like this. You either think it's a good idea or you don't. There's one paragraph in this that I think is laughable in Bill Clinton's opening statement, but the rest of it I think is pretty good to make sense. For instance, he says, before we start, I have to get personal. You made Hillary come in. She had nothing to do with Jeffrey Epstein. Nothing. She has no memory of even meeting him. She neither traveled with him nor visited any of his properties. Whether you subpoenaed 10 people or 10,000, including her, was simply not right. I, I think I agree with that.
Katie Green
I agree with Billy. Jeff. Yeah.
Joe Getty
Now, let me say what you're going to hear from me first. I had no idea the crimes Epstein was committing. No matter how many photos you show me, I have two things that the end of the day matter more than your interpretation of those 20 year old photos. I know what I saw and more importantly, what I didn't see. I know what I did and more importantly, what I didn't do. I saw nothing and I did nothing wrong. Dude, you gotta be a little careful with your verbiage there, since one of the most famous clips of any president in the history of media is you wagging your finger at people and saying, I did nothing with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky. So we've heard this.
Katie Green
He said, I did not have sex with that woman, Lewinsky, because all he considers sex is intercourse.
Joe Getty
But you've lied to us before. I mean, so that, that's just a little bit of a problem. I believe him. I don't think he was involved in underage girls or pedophile ring or any of those things. But it's a little difficult when you've wagged your finger at me in the past and it turned out, oh, well, okay, shading it a little bit. I saw nothing. It did nothing wrong. Then he talks about growing, growing up in a home with domestic abuse and that he would have turned in Epstein himself and led the call for justice for his crimes. Not sweetheart deals shot at somebody, whoever. Whoever allowed those sweetheart deals to happen,
Katie Green
who later became part of the Trump administration. Yeah.
Joe Getty
By the time his 2008 guilty plea, I had long stopped associating with him. So Clinton had no interactions with him after Epstein was found guilty. You'll often hear me say that I don't recall. That might be unsatisfying, but I'm not going to say something I'm not sure of. This was a long time ago and I'M bound by my oath not to speculate or to guess. This is not merely for my benefit, but because it doesn't help you for me to play detective 24 years later. Since I'm under oath. I will not falsely state that I'm looking forward to your questions. That's a very Clinton sort of thing. But I'm ready to answer them to the best of my abilities, consistent with the facts of I know them. The legitimate, the logical, and even the outlandish with that, Mr. Chairman, fire away. And then we'll probably hear later today more about the actual questioning. And they're gonna release the videos of him and Hillary next week.
Jack Armstrong
Early.
Joe Getty
Here's the part that I have to call BS on. Says the first reason I'm there is that I'm a patriot and I love my country and no one's above the law and especially even presidents. Especially presidents. The other reason I'm here is that the girls and women whose lives Jeffrey Epstein destroyed deserve not only justice, but healing. Okay. It is known that you and Hillary and Clinton Inc. Destroyed many women's lives who either accused you of something wrongly or completely. Rightly, it turned out over time you destroyed their lives or went out of your way to try to destroy their lives.
Katie Green
Right. Certainly discredit them and humiliate them.
Joe Getty
Absolutely. I mean, that is as documented as anything could be. Paula Jones, Juanita Broderick, Jennifer Flowers, the ten year affair he had with the newscaster down there in Arkansas. Man, trying to make them look like crazy, slutty, disreputable drunks or whatever, you went out of your way to destroy these women's lives to try to stay in office. So I didn't like that paragraph. You don't get anything.
Katie Green
I believe he forced himself on money to Broderick. I've always believed her.
Joe Getty
Okay, so if that's true, and I don't know, but if he did, if he forced himself in a criminal way and wanting to Broadrick and then tried to destroy her life, that's pretty Epstein like, man. That's pretty Epstein like.
Katie Green
Yeah, I would agree.
Joe Getty
So that that particular paragraph stuck out to me is like. I can't believe you even wrote that.
Katie Green
Yeah, it's utterly unsurprising to me that he hung out with Epstein and really enjoyed it. It fits. The math works.
Joe Getty
I'm sure Hillary thinks the same thing.
Katie Green
Yeah, but I don't think he probably broke any laws or was with any underaged girls.
Joe Getty
Mrs. Clinton, we. A picture has just come out of Bill in a hot tub with Some women.
Jack Armstrong
Yeah.
Joe Getty
I don't need to see it.
Katie Green
Come on.
Joe Getty
What do you think? This is news to me. Yeah.
Katie Green
You want some more? I've got them.
Joe Getty
The New York Times had a good paragraph Yesterday about how Ms. Clinton is in the uncomfortable position of once again having to defend her husband against blah, blah, blah. Cause she's been doing that her whole life.
Katie Green
Surely she thought by the time we're pushing 80, I won't have to do that anymore.
Joe Getty
No kidding.
Katie Green
Yeah, this, you know, this whole thing is so bread and circusy to me. I mean, there are huge challenges facing our government and our Congress, and there are good things the Trump administration is doing, but all of this is about each side trying to tar the other with the Epstein mess one way or another. It's just. It's exhausting to me.
Joe Getty
Yeah, it'll be interesting to see how it goes. As I've mentioned several times, people close to Clinton are a little concerned about his mental abilities at this point. How about after six or seven hours of testimony? I mean, I don't know what I would say after you grilled me for six hours and I'm not 80. Whatever years old he is.
Katie Green
I'd say remind yourself what happened to some of our opponents through the years. Just saying. Clinton body count.
Joe Getty
Hey, kids, it's that time again
Katie Green
with Armstrong and Getty.
Joe Getty
So here's your host for final thoughts, Joe Getty.
Katie Green
Hey, everybody, let's get a final thought to wrap up the show for the day of the week, beginning with our technical director Michelangelo in the control room. Michael, what's your final thought?
Joe Getty
Yeah.
Katie Green
On today's show, we have mentioned the
Joe Getty
Burger King, Whopper pepper, Papa John's, McDonald's, and chicken parmesan.
Katie Green
And now I am starving. I've never been this hungry after a show.
Joe Getty
Yeah.
Katie Green
Katie Green, our esteemed news woman, has a final thought.
Joe Getty
Katie, now, while I feel for the teacher who had that video leak, you can see it at Katie's corner at Armstrong. Get. Yeah, people are kind of surprised. They can't find it on Twitter or the Internet anywhere. It's. It's just breaking. It happened at a school, like, miles from us. And so it's a brand new story. I have a feeling Jimmy Fallon will be talking about it by Monday night.
Katie Green
We need to tweet it with a link to the podcast where we talked about it. Right away, please.
Joe Getty
Absolutely. Let's make sure that's on there so we get the credit. Final thought, Jack. Yes. Gosh. Gosh, gosh, that was nice. That's my final thoughts.
Katie Green
My final thought is that after 10 months my 6 to 8 months remodel is almost done and we just found out we have a fairly serious little leak in one of our bathrooms and we need to rip out the bathroom. So I am now penniless destitute. If you see me by the roadside with a sign that reads Will bloviate for food please help. Every little bit counts. God Bless
Joe Getty
hot takes for change Armstrong and Getty wrapping up another grueling four hour workday.
Katie Green
So many people to thank, so little time. Go to Armstrong, you Getty doctor for the aforementioned goodness. Plus drop us a line. If you see something we ought to be talking about, email it. Mailbag armstrong and getty.com pick up some a swag like a T shirt or hoodie.
Joe Getty
I feel like our coverage of the Teacher and the Folgers canister was really good so you should check it out. See you Monday. God Bless America.
Katie Green
Armstrong and Getty for the all the teachers out there. Just a little advice, don't be at a cop.
Joe Getty
You can't use the commode down the
Katie Green
hall cause if you do you're in deep trouble. Deep trouble when really gotta go. Don't let anyone know
Joe Getty
you just kill the Folgers camp. Yes,
Katie Green
the Armstrong and Gettysburg Tired of
Jack Armstrong
spills and stains on your sofa? Wash away your worries with Anibe. Anibe is the only designer sofa that's machine washable inside and out. Starting at just $699 plus. Anibe sofas are pet friendly, stain resistant and feature changeable Slipcovers and modular pieces get up to 60% off site wide with a 30 day money back guarantee. Visit washablesofas.com to get yours. Now that's washablesofas.com offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply. Hey, this is US Olympic Gold medalist Tara Davis Woodhull and I'm US Paralympic
Joe Getty
Gold medalist Hunter Woodhull.
Katie Green
As athletes, our lives are about having
Joe Getty
a clear path and a team that you can absolutely trust.
Jack Armstrong
So when it came to getting the best mortgage, we chose PennyMac. PennyMac is proud to be the official mortgage provider of team USA and you
Katie Green
learn more at pennymac.com pennymac loan services llc llc equal housing lender nmls id 35953 licensed by the Department of Financial Protection and Innovation under the California Residential Mortgage Lending Act. Conditions and restrictions may apply.
Jack Armstrong
Busy work weeks can leave you feeling drained. Prolon's five day Fasting Mimicking Diet works at the cellular level to rejuvenate you from the inside out, providing real results that include fat focused sustainable weight loss with no injection needed. Next Gen builds on the original prolon with 100% organic soups and teaspoons, a richer taste and ready to eat meals. Developed at USC's Longevity Institute and backed by top medical centers, Prolon supports biological age reduction, metabolic health, skin appearance, fat loss and energy. Get 15% off plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe at prolonlife.com iheart that's prolonlife.com iheart this message comes from Greenlight Ready to start talking to your kids about financial literacy? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app that teaches kids and teens how to earn, save, spend wisely and invest with your guardrails in place. With Greenlight, you can send money to kids quickly, set up chores, automate allowance, and keep an eye on what your kids are spending with real time notifications. Join millions of parents and kids building healthy financial habits together on Greenlight. Get started risk free@greenlight.com iheart this is an Iheart podcast. Guaranteed human.
Episode: "You Look Like You Stole A Horse In The West"
Date: February 27, 2026
Hosts: Jack Armstrong, Joe Getty, Katie Green
This Armstrong & Getty episode pivots around the bizarre and headline-grabbing story of a teacher caught urinating in a coffee container in a classroom—a school attended by Joe’s own kids. The trio dives deep into the incident, using their trademark irreverence and wit to tease out broad societal implications, gender reactions, and workplace realities. Other prominent subjects include a discussion of undoing plastic surgery trends, Bill Clinton’s testimony regarding the Epstein investigation, and a series of quick hits on recent news. As always, the tone is playful, skeptical, and unfiltered.
[02:02 – 15:37]
The Incident:
A teacher was caught on video urinating into a coffee container in his classroom. The school is one that Joe Getty's kids attended. The situation quickly became the focal point of the episode.
Initial Takes & Gender Reactions:
Workplace Pressures & Empathy:
Ethics, Judgment, & Social Stigma:
Speculation—Staged or Real?
Quotes & Zingers:
[03:31 – 06:16]
No direct quotes in this section, but it helps frame the show’s current affairs backdrop.
[10:06 – 13:12]
[21:31 – 29:43]
[20:56, 33:49, 39:05 – 44:53]
[31:13 – 33:44]
[45:23 – End]
| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|---------|-------| | 03:15 | Joe Getty | “Dudes are like eh, probably shouldn’t but whatever. And women are horrified.” | | 07:55 | Joe Getty | “Is an entire man’s life defined by urinating in a coffee container in the classroom?” | | 08:48 | Joe Getty | “It’s yellow journalism.” | | 12:00 | Joe Getty | “I’ve been around a lot of dudes peed in my life... never heard anybody exclaim anything...” | | 21:45 | Katie Green (to Jack about neck-lift mimicry) | “You look like you stole a horse in the old West.” | | 28:08 | Katie Green (quoting Dr. Muneeb Shah) | “‘Once you have all that volume in your skin, when you take it away, it’s like a deflated balloon.’” | | 40:17 | Joe Getty (on Clinton) | “‘I saw nothing and I did nothing wrong.’ Dude, you gotta be a little careful with your verbiage there...” | | 42:53 | Katie Green (on Clinton) | “You destroyed their lives or went out of your way to try to destroy their lives.” | | 46:09 | Joe Getty | “I have a feeling Jimmy Fallon will be talking about it by Monday night.” | | 46:23 | Jack Armstrong | “Gosh, gosh, gosh, that was nice.” |
Armstrong & Getty use the episode’s headline-making scandal—a teacher’s poorly timed bathroom emergency—as a springboard to larger debates about gender norms, public shaming, and life's messy unpredictability. The show, as usual, loops in quick takes on current news, celebrity gossip, political theater, and listener feedback, all delivered with a distinctive mix of sarcasm and curiosity. Whether skewering bureaucratic absurdity or mock-interrogating Bill Clinton’s Epstein statement, the hosts manage to turn the week’s weirdest news into a compelling window on American obsession, hypocrisy, and—sometimes—our capacity for humor and forgiveness.