You Look Like You Stole A Horse In The West

Summary

Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: "You Look Like You Stole A Horse In The West"
Date: February 27, 2026
Hosts: Jack Armstrong, Joe Getty, Katie Green

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Overview

This Armstrong & Getty episode pivots around the bizarre and headline-grabbing story of a teacher caught urinating in a coffee container in a classroom—a school attended by Joe’s own kids. The trio dives deep into the incident, using their trademark irreverence and wit to tease out broad societal implications, gender reactions, and workplace realities. Other prominent subjects include a discussion of undoing plastic surgery trends, Bill Clinton’s testimony regarding the Epstein investigation, and a series of quick hits on recent news. As always, the tone is playful, skeptical, and unfiltered.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Teacher, the Coffee Can, and the Gender Divide

[02:02 – 15:37]

• The Incident:
  A teacher was caught on video urinating into a coffee container in his classroom. The school is one that Joe Getty's kids attended. The situation quickly became the focal point of the episode.

• Initial Takes & Gender Reactions:

  • Joe and Katie reflect on the public's split reactions, noting that many men seem nonplussed, while most women are disgusted.
    • Joe: “Dudes are like eh, probably shouldn’t but whatever. And women are horrified.” [03:15]
    • Katie: “Yeah, yeah, yeah. So interesting.” [03:31]

• Workplace Pressures & Empathy:

  • Listeners (and Katie) note the lack of sufficient break time and facilities for teachers, with one emailer mentioning bladder infections as a common occupational hazard.
    • Katie reads: “Concerns are a major factor for teachers. Women frequently get bladder infections…” [08:05]

• Ethics, Judgment, & Social Stigma:

  • Is an entire career defined by an isolated, embarrassing incident?
    • Joe: “Is an entire man’s life defined by urinating in a coffee container in the classroom?” [07:55]
    • Katie: “I say no. That was my not in my America.” [07:55]

• Speculation—Staged or Real?

  • Discussion veers into whether the incident could be a staged viral video, but hosts dismiss this theory as implausible given the risks.
    • Joe: “I’ve been around a lot of dudes peed in my life... I like this like an animal. I’ve never heard anybody exclaim anything, let alone [‘Gosh, gosh, gosh, that’s nice’].” [12:00]
    • Katie: “That just doesn’t have the tinkle of truth to you.” [12:14]

• Quotes & Zingers:

  • Katie (puns): “The story has leaked out. And of course in big scandals like this, the drip drip drip…” [02:32]
  • Joe: “It’s yellow journalism.” [08:48]
  • Jack: “I’m not having my wang out within 90 seconds of a kid coming through the door.” [09:14]

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2. Clips of the Week

[03:31 – 06:16]

• A rapid-fire review of audio highlights from the week, featuring political sound bites, news stories, and sports celebrations.
• Notable snippets include commentary on Supreme Court decisions, cartel violence, Bill and Hillary Clinton’s recent news, and a segment on the perception of AI boyfriends and American government duties.

No direct quotes in this section, but it helps frame the show’s current affairs backdrop.

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3. Folgers Can Fallout: Listener Responses

[10:06 – 13:12]

• Audience texts chime in on the teacher issue, ranging from defenses citing inadequate breaks and shy bladder syndrome to suspicions about viral video stunts among students and teachers.
• Ongoing banter underscores how the story highlights union protections, public outrage, and workplace challenges.
  • Katie: “The important thing is the taxpayer will pay either way.” [10:49]
  • Joe: “Shy bladder would explain the Teacher’s actions perfectly. It’s a condition.” [10:53]
• Joe shares texts from parents of children in the classroom, revealing a generally positive opinion of the teacher despite the incident. [20:13]

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4. Plastic Surgery Trends: The "Great Undoing"

[21:31 – 29:43]

• Discusses a new wave where women are opting to reverse cosmetic procedures—removing fillers, breast implants, and buttock augmentations.
• The team reads expert quotes on the pitfalls of undoing fillers:
  • Katie (quoting Dr. Muneeb Shah): “‘Once you have all that volume in your skin, when you take it away, it’s like a deflated balloon.’” [28:08]
• Brief tangent on high-dollar beds and the regret some buyers express after splurging:
  • Jack: “I laid on beds that were—one was $96,000... and a $400,000 bed.” [30:21]

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5. Bill Clinton Testifying on Epstein

[20:56, 33:49, 39:05 – 44:53]

• Clinton’s testimony is dissected for sincerity, veracity, and hypocrisy, particularly where he emphasizes “no one is above the law” and his vague denials:
  • Joe (mocking): “‘I saw nothing and I did nothing wrong.’ Dude, you gotta be a little careful with your verbiage there...” [40:17]
  • Katie: “You destroyed their lives or went out of your way to try to destroy their lives.” [42:53]
• Debate on the likelihood that Clinton was involved in illegal activity with Epstein, versus merely running in those circles.
  • Joe: “If he did force himself in a criminal way on Juanita Broaddrick and then tried to destroy her life, that’s pretty Epstein like, man.” [43:27]
• Highlights ongoing public and political obsession with the Epstein scandal, casting it as a circus distracting from other issues.

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6. Political and Bureaucratic Oddities

[31:13 – 33:44]

• Commentary on NYC’s socialist officials and “Soviet”-style bureaucracy, e.g., the comically convoluted process for citizens to obtain a permit to shovel snow.
  • Joe: “How Soviet is that?” [32:10]
  • Katie: “We will replace the frigidity of rugged individualism with the warmth of collectivism.” [32:55]

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7. Lighthearted Closer & Final Thoughts

[45:23 – End]

• Final thoughts revolve around hunger inspired by food discussions, the teacher story possibly going viral, and Katie’s personal woes with a bathroom leak after a lengthy remodel.
  • Katie: “If you see me by the roadside with a sign that reads ‘Will bloviate for food’ please help. Every little bit counts. God bless.” [46:27]
• The hosts joke about the story’s likely ascent into late-night TV monologue territory.
  • Joe: “I have a feeling Jimmy Fallon will be talking about it by Monday night.” [46:09]
• Armstrong closes with a final quip: “Gosh, gosh, gosh, that was nice.” [46:23]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|---------|-------| | 03:15 | Joe Getty | “Dudes are like eh, probably shouldn’t but whatever. And women are horrified.” | | 07:55 | Joe Getty | “Is an entire man’s life defined by urinating in a coffee container in the classroom?” | | 08:48 | Joe Getty | “It’s yellow journalism.” | | 12:00 | Joe Getty | “I’ve been around a lot of dudes peed in my life... never heard anybody exclaim anything...” | | 21:45 | Katie Green (to Jack about neck-lift mimicry) | “You look like you stole a horse in the old West.” | | 28:08 | Katie Green (quoting Dr. Muneeb Shah) | “‘Once you have all that volume in your skin, when you take it away, it’s like a deflated balloon.’” | | 40:17 | Joe Getty (on Clinton) | “‘I saw nothing and I did nothing wrong.’ Dude, you gotta be a little careful with your verbiage there...” | | 42:53 | Katie Green (on Clinton) | “You destroyed their lives or went out of your way to try to destroy their lives.” | | 46:09 | Joe Getty | “I have a feeling Jimmy Fallon will be talking about it by Monday night.” | | 46:23 | Jack Armstrong | “Gosh, gosh, gosh, that was nice.” |

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:02] – Teacher urinating incident introduction
• [07:55] – Is a life defined by a single embarrassing act?
• [12:00] – Considering if the video was staged
• [13:12] – Gender gap in responses to the incident
• [20:56] / [33:49] / [39:05] – Bill Clinton testifying on Epstein
• [21:42] – “Undoing” plastic surgery trends
• [32:10] – Riffing on “Soviet” snow shoveling bureaucracy in NYC
• [46:09] – Prediction of the teacher story going viral

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Tone & Style

• The conversation is lively, irreverent, and peppered with jokes, puns, and playful ribbing.
• Social commentary alternates between deadpan satire and sincere skepticism.
• Spirit of the episode: “Nothing is too absurd to become a topic, and every topic is an opportunity for a bit of mischief.”

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Summary Takeaway

Armstrong & Getty use the episode’s headline-making scandal—a teacher’s poorly timed bathroom emergency—as a springboard to larger debates about gender norms, public shaming, and life's messy unpredictability. The show, as usual, loops in quick takes on current news, celebrity gossip, political theater, and listener feedback, all delivered with a distinctive mix of sarcasm and curiosity. Whether skewering bureaucratic absurdity or mock-interrogating Bill Clinton’s Epstein statement, the hosts manage to turn the week’s weirdest news into a compelling window on American obsession, hypocrisy, and—sometimes—our capacity for humor and forgiveness.

Transcript

[Jack Armstrong]

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[Joe Getty]

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[Jack Armstrong]

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[Joe Getty]

Broadcasting live from the Abraham Lincoln Radio Studio at the George Washington Broadcast Center,

[Jack Armstrong]

Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty.

[Joe Getty]

Armstrong and Getty. And now here's Armstrong and Yeti. A teacher got caught urinating in a coffee container in a classroom during a break. It actually happens to be school kids. Joe's kids went to but we by

[Katie Green]

a clandestine surveyor surveillor of him.

[Joe Getty]

The story has leaked out. And of course in big scandals like this, the drip drip drip of new information is

[Katie Green]

I'm not even gonna dignify that with a laugh. That was a low moment.

[Joe Getty]

Okay. Although, although we have established it's, it's, it's not as bad the urination as if it had been like a number two in a Maxwell House can correct.

[Katie Green]

Whether you're listening live or streaming, I hope your stream is strong and steady so you can enjoy this hour of the Armstrong and Getty show. Yes, Katie, why you've stooped you just now. He was having too much fun. I was feeling left out.

[Joe Getty]

You had to cut me off.

[Katie Green]

Right, right.

[Joe Getty]

Oh boy, oh boy. Anyway, we got some interesting text responses to this. One of the interesting things about this story. Well, why did you do that, dude? But the other part is dudes are like eh, probably shouldn't but whatever. And women are horrified.

[Katie Green]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So interesting. And we're the perfect show to answer the questions on everybody's mind. So stay with us. But first, it's the beloved Friday tradition. Let's take a fond look back at the week that was its cow clips of the week. The Supreme Court's ruling on tariffs is deeply disappointing.

[Joe Getty]

They're very unpatriotic and disloyal to our Constitution institution. I think it's an embarrassment to their families. You want to know the truth? The two of them, two aircraft carrier

[Katie Green]

strike groups, more than 100 cargo planes. And we're hopeful that we're able to come to a good resolution without the military.

[Joe Getty]

It turned very quickly.

[Katie Green]

All we heard was gunshots.

[Jack Armstrong]

Several cartel members were killed, including El Mencho, the head of the new generation Jalisco cartel.

[Katie Green]

A deadly gun battle off the coast.

[Joe Getty]

Coast of Cuba. Four people killed aboard a Florida registered speedboat.

[Katie Green]

If we will give him all he wants, we will lose everything. Our houses, our lives.

[Jack Armstrong]

We need her to come home. For that reason, we are offering a

[Katie Green]

family reward of up to $1 million. In New York City, meanwhile, the police

[Joe Getty]

are investigating an incident you may have seen online. In Washington Square park, officers were pelted by snowballs. Spokesperson for the Clint.

[Jack Armstrong]

Former President Bill Clinton and former secretary Hillary Clinton. She says the Clintons. The Clintons. Clinton. I'm afraid the issue is not my understanding, but rather the problem is perhaps you've gotten adjusted. I'm in love with my AI boyfriend. And then some time passes and they pop back up again. And here's the catch. They act like nothing happened.

[Katie Green]

Flash across it comes.

[Joe Getty]

Jack Hughes wins it.

[Katie Green]

The golden goal for the United States.

[Jack Armstrong]

I love the US Say I love my teammates.

[Katie Green]

I'm so proud to be American today. I'm like you. I'm no better than you. I'm a 960sat guy and that's why

[Joe Getty]

I titled my book I'm like you because I'm like you. I didn't write it because I don't know how to read or write because I'm dumb. If you agree with this statement, then stand up and show your support. The first duty of the American government is to protect American citizens, not illegal aliens.

[Katie Green]

Nobody stands up.

[Joe Getty]

These people are crazy. I'm telling you, they're crazy.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's Clips of the Week.

[Katie Green]

The reaction to Gavies I'm just like you. Especially you black people. I'm dumb has been greeted with nothing but derision. I'm looking at the list of folks who commented from Nina Turner, former Democratic lawmaker from Ohio, Nicki Minaj, Tim Scott and Andrew Stiles and the Free Beacon points out the long history of this sort of thing in the Democratic Party, from Hillary's hilarious accents to Joe Biden talking about Romney's gonna put you all back in chains and equated blackness with poverty, explaining that poor kids are just as bright and talented as white kids. Wow.

[Joe Getty]

I I need to bring us back to the top issue, maybe the number one issue, if you want to call it that of a teacher.

[Katie Green]

Oh boy.

[Joe Getty]

Urinating in a coffee can in a classroom.

[Katie Green]

I tried, folks.

[Joe Getty]

Let the record show you empty classroom. The question being, of course, let's assume the best. We don't. We now know the guy's name. We're not going to say it on the air, but it'll be everywhere now that the video is out. I'm gonna assume the best, but so say he pays his bills on time, faithful to his wife, raised children in a responsible way, good teacher, et cetera, et cetera. Moses Lawn is an entire man's life defined by urinating in a coffee container in the classroom?

[Katie Green]

I say no. That was my not in my America.

[Joe Getty]

That was good. My Mr. Smith goes to Washington speech trying to defend a guy who peed in his workplace.

[Katie Green]

Had a little bit of Atticus Finch to it too. Yes, To Kill a Mockingbird. Hey, got this email from Jeff. I wish I had thought of that when I was teaching. There's often not enough time to get to the bathroom. I've had times where I didn't have more than a couple of minutes between students coming in. I had to run across the campus at lunchtime to the closest bathroom in the office. Couldn't even get the door closed. Blah, blah blah. Concerns are a major factor for teachers. Women frequently get bladder infections did you

[Joe Getty]

when you urinated near classroom, say gosh, gosh, gosh, that's nice when you're done.

[Katie Green]

That to me is outside the scope of this investigation. Now to that email, that is an untoward personal detail that you are just. Again, I will not.

[Joe Getty]

It's yellow journalism. Yes, Katie. Oh, she's good. God. To that emailer's point, the door for class did open back up like within a minute and a half after he zipped her up.

[Katie Green]

So 90 seconds. You're in this business, you know how long 90 seconds is?

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, but I can go to the

[Katie Green]

lunchroom, pour myself a cup of coffee and amble back exchanging pleasantries with co workers in 90 seconds. Come on.

[Joe Getty]

I don't know. I'm not having my wang out within 90 seconds of a kid coming through the door. Especially if for some reason, like you said earlier, they come in early because they left something in their backpack or something.

[Katie Green]

Whatever. I hate to say this out loud because now I'm working your side of the street. It seems like incredibly bad judgment because every classroom locks these days because of the horrific situation with a school shooter that you wouldn't lock the door real quick even if you are going to do that. So, and here's where I'm really ashamed of myself. Is there a bit of a feeling of sport to it or a bit of a thrill?

[Joe Getty]

Almost the gosh, gosh, gosh, gosh, that's nice. Sounds like some sort of thrill. Well, if you're wondering what the listeners thought, you're in luck.

[Katie Green]

Here we go. Would you want to do a show together?

[Jack Armstrong]

I would love that.

[Katie Green]

Eddie and Green, wouldn't that be good?

[Joe Getty]

Yes, I'm in. We have some text here.

[Katie Green]

Can I run your board? Yes.

[Joe Getty]

It's gross and it's a sad case but it shows you the power of union negotiations protection of its members. Well, we might see that because I have a feeling, I have a feeling just because people, the way they react to these things, there's going to be a push to get rid of the guy and I have no idea if that's appropriate or not. Mr. Gosh, gosh, gosh. Will claim says this texter, inadequate break time or subpar facilities for teachers thus causing a urinary tract infection. He will sue the school district and

[Katie Green]

when not at the bladder infections that Jeff the teacher alerted.

[Joe Getty]

Not at all out of the realm of possibility.

[Katie Green]

Well, the important thing is the taxpayer will pay either way.

[Joe Getty]

Para Reese paru rusis. I don't know how to say it. Shy bladder would explain the Teacher's actions perfectly. It's a condition. So you're going to go after people who are. You're. You're an ableist. You're going after people who are handicapable, suffering from power. And then this one. Because this person agrees with me. I'm suspicious too. Did you know there's a sub genre of teacher inclusive staged classroom absurdity on YouTube. It's a thing.

[Katie Green]

Wait a minute. There's what now?

[Joe Getty]

This isn't staged. A sub genre of teacher inclusive like teachers in on it. Staged classroom absurdity on YouTube. I have seen those before where the teacher and the kids get together on something and then post it like it was a crazy thing happened and it goes viral.

[Katie Green]

Wow.

[Joe Getty]

That's not.

[Katie Green]

This.

[Joe Getty]

You don't think. No, because. No. I don't think that's even possible. What makes me think it's more believable? If he had said nothing, I'd be willing to believe it more than the.

[Jack Armstrong]

I just.

[Joe Getty]

I've. I've been around a lot of dudes peed in my life. I'm the kind of go that guy that goes to bars where you peed a trough. We're all standing at a trough.

[Katie Green]

Like good Lord.

[Joe Getty]

I like this like an animal. I've never heard anybody exclaim anything, let alone. Can we hear the audio? Gosh. Gosh. Gosh. That's not.

[Katie Green]

Oh God. So. But gave me the idea that it's danged. That just doesn't have the tinkle of truth to you. Okay.

[Joe Getty]

Gideon Green is off.

[Katie Green]

Oh no. It was so promising.

[Joe Getty]

Tinkle of truth.

[Katie Green]

I already spent my signing bonus.

[Jack Armstrong]

It doesn't. First of all.

[Joe Getty]

And Jack, you're bringing up the crop job on this. It was shot on a laptop, so it was obviously cropped on both sides. So it could go on TikTok. Not to mention the fact that if his parts were in it it wouldn't be postable. And it just. I don't see why this would be one of those staged things when he can lose his job for it. It'd be pretty edgy.

[Katie Green]

No. Oh my Lord. No. It's not that. It's not that we can dismiss that possibility from the investigation. It's like George H.W. bush eating babies. It's a crackpot tip. Moving on.

[Joe Getty]

Any other thoughts on that? Probably the most interesting part of it is the divide between men and women between. Eh. And this is a horror.

[Katie Green]

But again, I talked about it.

[Joe Getty]

But I talked about peeing outside at the farm. I mean just. I. I've known women that just I've mentioned that before in groups and the women just think it's awful. Like you should, you know, a quarter mile from your house, get in your truck and drive back to a bathroom.

[Katie Green]

Right? I know.

[Joe Getty]

Pee behind the truck.

[Katie Green]

We in the very town where this teacher is doing his thing. We moved from a house where I had ample space because I did all of our, like, landscape stuff for years and years. We moved from a house where I had several excellent choices for outdoor urination to a house where I didn't. And oh, such a drag. I'm like, I'm. I'm covered with dirt and sweat and everything else. Now I gotta take off my boots, I gotta walk, and I gotta shake all the leaves off my. Come on.

[Joe Getty]

I. If you're a new listener, you wouldn't know this, but my kids were born, we were on 40 acres and then we were on 20 acres. So for most of their childhood. And so I. I'll bet having grown up rural, I've probably peed outside more than inside in my lifetime.

[Katie Green]

Totally. Wow. This is. This probably ought to be in chapter one of your autobiography. That's fascinating.

[Joe Getty]

I have the statement from the principal chapter if you guys want.

[Katie Green]

Yes.

[Joe Getty]

Yes. This afternoon, after school dismissal, which is debatable, a parent and a staff member informed the school, informed the school administration that a student recorded video showed a staff member engaging in conduct inconsistent with our professional standards. While the video does not. Wait just to nail that down. That's inconsistent with your professional standards.

[Katie Green]

That's not part of your professional standards.

[Jack Armstrong]

Right?

[Joe Getty]

That's not on there in the man.

[Katie Green]

It's supposed to be a Gatorade bottle in the school procedures, not a Folgers can.

[Joe Getty]

While the video does not involve any students or other staff, the staff member has been placed on leave while the Granite Oaks Middle School and Rockland Unified School District investigate the incident. Investigate investigates the incident. How long's that investigation gonna take? Looks to me like you peed in a coffee can. Yeah, I did. That's quite the investigation. Now what? While we are unable to share specific, please be assured that we take this matter very seriously and are addressing it. And you're in for answers soon. Just kidding.

[Katie Green]

I added that last part. You're an idiot now. I'm quitting our show.

[Joe Getty]

Nobody's got a show. Okay, any thoughts? Text line 415295 KFTC.

[Jack Armstrong]

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[Joe Getty]

There's drama and then there's full telenovela level drama.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yes, and Elf Cosmetics went all the way there. Elf Cosmetics just dropped something wildly unexpected. A full blown, absurdly funny telenovela celebrating positivity, inclusivity and accessibility. It's called Melissa and it's absurd in the best way. It stars Melissa McCarthy, TV doctor Nicholas Gonzalez and iconic telenovela villain Itati Cantoral, but the real star? Elf Glow Reviver Lip Oil.

[Joe Getty]

When the language fails her and her lips are dull and DR, only glow can revive her. Melissa McCarthy, who I love, fully commits by even rolling the ARRs with E L F Glow Reviver Lip Oil.

[Jack Armstrong]

Elf Glow Reviver Lip Oil Reviver Lip Oil is an ultra glossy lip oil that nourishes, hydrates and enhances your lips natural color. Available in 10 shades at only $9 each.

[Joe Getty]

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[Jack Armstrong]

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[Joe Getty]

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[Katie Green]

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[Joe Getty]

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[Katie Green]

Your first year terms apply on covered repairs overnight. In Texas, we've learned the Department of Defense mistakenly shot down a Customs and Border Protection drone they believed was a threat, prompting the FAA to restrict flights near El Paso.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, the interesting part of that story is. I don't think she mentioned it there. They shot it down with a laser.

[Katie Green]

Yeah, they used a laser.

[Joe Getty]

We have lasers that can shoot things down. I don't know that I knew that.

[Katie Green]

Yeah. I liked the bureaucratese style comment that the Pentagon shot down a seemingly threatening drone in Texas leading to FAA restrictions. So as a border patrol drone, the Pentagon shot it down with a laser and the FAA said, hey, what are. Do these people all have each other's phone numbers? Oh, boy.

[Joe Getty]

Two quick texts. We got one from a family whose kid is in that classroom, has that teacher and one of the kids did purposely record the teacher. The teacher we parents really like. It's too bad he did this. So we'll see what happens with that. The other text I liked was I'm mostly offended that he drinks Folgers. I. I've had two people make me coffee in the last couple of months using Folgers crystals and it was great. And both cases I think asked what's this coffee? It was so good. It was just Folgers instant coffee and

[Katie Green]

it was really unique taste. Yeah. That I don't dislike.

[Joe Getty]

No, I don't dislike it either. And it's super cheap.

[Katie Green]

Boy, I like coffee.

[Joe Getty]

Bill Clinton currently testifying on Epstein. Anything going to come out of that? I have no idea. I think the best.

[Katie Green]

Anything relevant or important? No. Gossip worthy perhaps.

[Joe Getty]

Right. If he. If he struggles to deal with the questions because of his age, that would be kind of interesting just in that he was really, really, really good at that back in the day. And he certainly got lots of practice because he, he got hauled in to have to answer questions about a lot of different things throughout his life in front of the press or, you know, whoever.

[Katie Green]

We don't have time to do much right here, but perhaps on the other side of the break we can talk about this. Super interesting the in plastic surgery, particularly among women.

[Joe Getty]

I'm going to get the neck tuck.

[Katie Green]

Oh boy, look at that.

[Joe Getty]

Look how much younger I look.

[Katie Green]

Immediately 10 years younger, like a child. Just stop doing that to your neck. The great cosmetic undoing is here. Women having procedures undone is the newest trend.

[Joe Getty]

Like what?

[Katie Green]

Mostly fillers and various plumpings of various parts. Plumping things getting smaller. Implants. No longer wanting to look like they're in anaphylactic shock with their lips. Right.

[Joe Getty]

I pull my.

[Katie Green]

Oh, pull that back. You look like you're being hanged for some crime.

[Joe Getty]

I think I look younger, not like I'm being hanged.

[Katie Green]

I. You look like you stole a horse in the old West. That's what you look like. Anyway, more on that and much more.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, lots of stuff on the way. If you missed a segment at the podcast Armstrong and Getty on Demand, you should subscribe.

[Jack Armstrong]

Armstrong and Getty Life gets messy spills, stains, head accidents and kid chaos. But with Anabe, cleaning up is easy. Our sofas are fully machine washable inside and out, so you never have to stress about messes again. Made with liquid and stain resistant fabric, that means fewer stains and more peace of mind. Designed for real life, our sofas feature changeable fabric covers allowing you to refresh your style anytime. Need flexibility? Our modular design lets you rearrange your sofa effortlessly. Perfect for cozy apartments or spacious homes. Plus they're earth friendly and built to last. That's why over 200,000 happy customers have made the switch. Upgrade your space Today sofas start at just $699. Visit washablesofas.com now and bring home a sofa made for life. That's washablesofas.com offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

[Joe Getty]

There's drama and then there's full telenovela level drama.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yes, and Elf Cosmetics went all the way there. E L F Cosmetics just dropped something wildly unexpected. A full blown, absurdly funny telenovela celebrating positivity, inclusivity and access called Melissa. And it's absurd in the best way. It stars Melissa McCarthy, TV doctor Nicholas Gonzalez and iconic telenovela villain Itati Cantoral. But the real star Elf Glow Reviver Lip Oil.

[Joe Getty]

When the language fails her and her lips are dull and dry, only Glow can revive her. Melissa McCarthy, who I love, fully commits by even rolling the arrs with Elf Glow Reviver Lip Oil.

[Jack Armstrong]

Elf Glow Reviver Lip Oil Reviver Lip Oil is an ultra glossy lip oil that nourishes, hydrates and enhances your lip lips natural color. Available in 10 shades at only $9 each.

[Joe Getty]

Watch the full episode of their new E L f novella on soyumbanyo.com yes

[Jack Armstrong]

and drench your lips in an addictive sheer watch of ultra glossy color with E L F Glow Reviver Lip Oil Magnesium supplements. You've mastered the basics. Now it's time to optimize. If you're serious about dialing in your health, upgrading your magnesium isn't optional. It's the key to leveling up your your whole body. That's where Solaray Magnesium glycinate comes in. Mag Gly from the number one magnesium brand in health food stores, Solaray has a 50 year legacy of delivering quality and trust in every capsule. Each ingredient is triple tested for identity, purity and potency in Solaray's GMP certified facility in Ogden, Utah. That means what's on the label is what's in your bottle. No guesswork, just premium Mag Glide. Plus it's chelated in house for powerful muscle, bone and relaxation support that's designed for optimal absorption and gentle digestion. It's the upgrade your routine's been waiting for. Shop Solaray Magnesium Glycinate on Amazon or solaray.com these statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. When your schedule sounds like this. Are you kidding me? An oil change change is the last thing you have time for. So drive into Take five and let our techs change your oil. Check your tires, top off your fluids and have you back on the road pit stop fast. All while you stay in your car. No putting your entire schedule on hold. No upsells, no problem. So you can get back to your to do list or not. Find your nearest [e-mail] Take 5 the Stay in your car 10 minute oil change Friday

[Joe Getty]

gonna be super nice where where I live be riding bikes and playing catch at the football. Can't wait.

[Katie Green]

Good for you. Any of these jokes funny Michael that we haven't gotten to yet?

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, there's one about Trump's love for McDonald's.

[Katie Green]

I think it's kind of fun. There you go.

[Joe Getty]

During Their White House visit this week, President Trump reportedly served the US Men's

[Katie Green]

Olympic Hockey Team McDonald's.

[Joe Getty]

I mean, of course he did. I think he only invites people to the White House so he can get McDonald's.

[Katie Green]

This is a lot of people. Should we just hit the drive through?

[Joe Getty]

That was. If you saw that video, that was really great. Those dudes seemed super happy and excited about it too.

[Katie Green]

Of course they were. Yeah. And who could have a problem with it? The New York Times.

[Joe Getty]

Right, right.

[Katie Green]

And your lefty Alphabet networks. So back to a couple of stories that are not terribly important, I don't think, but they're interesting. Undoing is the great new trend in, excuse me, in plastic surgery. Undoing breast implants and various plumpings and fillings and that sort of thing. Patients are following in the footsteps of pioneers like Victoria Beckham, who had her breastplants removed. Kylie Jenner and Courtney Cox, both of whom spoken openly about having dermal filler dissolved.

[Joe Getty]

Where did they have it?

[Katie Green]

On their faces, I think probably cheekbones. They may be hoping that an excavation will reveal their original bone structure, at least lips that don't look like they're in the throes of anaphylactic shock. But warns Muni Bishop, a board certified dermatologist, blah, blah, blah, who's got nearly 18 million followers on TikTok. Whoa, what the hell? Says he gets these questions all the time. Filler. He says the most common cosmetic treatment he sees getting reversed, though simply dissolving it won't get the job done. Quote, once you have all that volume in your skin, when you take it away, it's like a deflated balloon.

[Joe Getty]

That's not a good look. Look.

[Katie Green]

That's not a good look. He advises deflating clients to try radio frequency micro needling such as Morpheus 8 to tighten their skin. Oh, boy.

[Joe Getty]

I, I, I'm not surprised that some people decide they don't want the giant boobs that they got.

[Katie Green]

Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

At some point in their life.

[Katie Green]

We have patients who have had years and years of fillers, says Melissa Doft, MD, who runs the kind of low key Park Avenue office that's a magnet for wealthy clad head to toe in the row. I don't know what the row is.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, I read about this just the other day. Yeah, it's a, it's a popular thing. Okay.

[Katie Green]

Designer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. High dollar. Obviously, as women seek smaller lips, they're also seeking daintier breast implants or removing the implants altogether, sometimes adding a breast lift and some fat grafting. Etc.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, Boy yeah, I meant to bring that on the air. The row is the hot thing. If you want to be like the cool in have the the trendiest stuff. The row is what it's all about.

[Katie Green]

Few procedures are harder reverse than a buttock augmentation, Jack. I know that's what's held you back. What if I have to reverse it? You asked. Trying to undo a Brazilian butt lift by sucking it out of the body carries the risk for nerve damage, asymmetry and skin laxity.

[Joe Getty]

Asymmetry all out of inside's all bulgy and the other side's all flat. Ain't no good.

[Katie Green]

Let's see that. That story I've decided is not that interesting. Oh, oh, don't. Speaking of high $, don't mention the brand Now Jack was shopping for a very high dollar bed the other day.

[Joe Getty]

I was.

[Katie Green]

And Aileen Anonymous who says please don't mention my name if you read this I don't want anyone to know how gullible we were. They bought said crazy expensive bed and the she said the promises, unlike the bed ain't worth squat.

[Joe Getty]

The promises that they'll come and fluff it.

[Katie Green]

The ongoing service promise. Yes, yes.

[Joe Getty]

It's because this bed, it's ridiculously expensive. I laid on beds that were 91 was $96,000. The mattress in the box springs people, not the bed. You got to buy the bed. And a $400,000 bed. Yes, $400,000 bed which is just insane. But it comes with a lifetime service of then coming to your house and flipping it over and fluff it in stuff. But this person says that they weren't

[Katie Green]

happy with the promise of that.

[Joe Getty]

Yes.

[Katie Green]

Yeah, yeah. It didn't happen. They had to do it themselves and it's really heavy. Blah blah. And they didn't give us the booties. My husband had to pay for them.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, they gave me the booties.

[Katie Green]

That's because you're an exciting celebrity. Probably.

[Joe Getty]

Maybe. They must have thought I was actually going to pull the trigger on that bed. I've read a whole bunch of reviews from people who said roughly the same thing. Wish I hadn't done it. But I've read reviews from people on Reddit who say it's absolutely amazing. The price is ridiculous, but it's also amazing.

[Katie Green]

Yeah, complete change of topic here. Zoran Mamdani is an actual communist and an actual Islamist and a hater of Jewish people. His international affairs commissioner who he just appointed is a Defund the police radical who campaigned for lieutenant governor on a platform that Included billions of dollars in giveaways to illegal aliens, including free health care. She is a hardcore hard left socialist slash communist activist.

[Joe Getty]

My favorite story this week was the whole snow shoveling thing that you had to. If you wanted to shovel your neighbors, shovel your neighbor's drive or, you know, their spot in the street to get their car out. You had to go on the government website and apply for permission, certificate or something with multiple forms of identification. Yeah, yeah.

[Katie Green]

How crazy?

[Joe Getty]

How. How Soviet is that?

[Katie Green]

Yeah, it was an actual. It was actually to shovel out, like, intersections and bus stops and stuff like that paid for by the city. But the guy, a guy in the Free press wrote an article about the experience, and he said the city put out word, no, you don't need two photos anymore. Don't bother. And then he got there and the lady said, yes, you do. And so he had to run off to find a CVS that was open. That picture. The camera was working, and he took a couple of pictures at a few bucks each came back, he got. Then they sat around waiting for instructions for hours and hours while the bureaucrats argued with each other.

[Joe Getty]

Very Soviet. Yeah. Of course, with the punchline being there against having to show a ID to vote, but you have to show an ID to shovel snow.

[Katie Green]

Right, Right. Yeah. Just absolutely crazy. We will replace the frigidity of rugged

[Joe Getty]

individualism with the warmth of collectivism.

[Katie Green]

This gal who I was talking about, Mamdani's communist assistant, first came to fame in 2018 when she burst into the Senate elevator to confront then senator Jeff Flake.

[Joe Getty]

I remember that ahead of the Supreme

[Katie Green]

Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh's confirmation vote. Screeching. What you're doing is allowing someone who actually violated a woman to sit on the Supreme Court. She was considered such a hero that a invited her as a guest to the 2019 State of the Union.

[Joe Getty]

Flake caved, by the way, because of that woman.

[Katie Green]

Good Lord. Flake flakes. Yeah, he's a communist. He's an actual communist.

[Joe Getty]

Huh?

[Katie Green]

What are you gonna do? People in New York wanted to commie. They gotta commie. Good luck.

[Joe Getty]

Bill Clinton, it's leaking out a little bit. Is testifying on the whole Epstein thing right now. Bill Clinton denies any knowledge of Jeffrey Epstein's crimes and says he did nothing wrong to a House pack panel, which does not surprise me. He did have Epstein come to the White House 17 times in the eight years he was president, which is quite a few visits. And flew on the plane and went to the island and sat in a hot tub with A hottie. Although we don't know much about the hottie because she's blurred out in all the pictures I've seen. But he'll have to answer that question. I don't know that they're trying to get him on any particular thing other than just make him do what they want him to do.

[Katie Green]

Yeah, it's just grandstandy silliness. Even if Bill's old, he's a lawyer, he's a successful politician. He knows what he can say and what he can't say. Even if he had some knowledge that they're seeking.

[Joe Getty]

Bill. Bill Clinton, former President, first time a former president has ever testified in a situation like this. He put out a statement. I don't know, I doubt he read this whole thing. It looks very long, but he entered it into the Congressional Record Record Bill Clinton as someone who grew up in a home with domestic abuse. And if you know his story, he did. His dad was a drunk who died drown in a ditch, Right? Yeah. As someone who grew up in a home with domestic abuse, not only would I not have flown on his plane if I had any inkling of what he was doing, I would have turned him in myself and led the charge to prosecute him. Might have to read more of that. That's pretty powerful. Yeah, well, there's a difference between abuse and going to parties where you know there's going to be lots of young women around or perfectly happy to get with a powerful guy.

[Katie Green]

Right, right. And. And there are plenty of powerful guys who would be more than happy to have a bunch of 20 something models at a party, some of whom were goers, as they say, who would run in terror if they found out that any of them were underage. People make this assumption that everybody who is into knowing Jeffrey Epstein was into underage girls, which is absolutely not true. Or even that everybody who is into like sexual looseness with Jeffrey Epstein was into underage girls, which I think is also inaccurate.

[Joe Getty]

Right.

[Katie Green]

I've known scumbags. I've separated myself from them and gone away from them. They keep the circle of people who know about the worst stuff very, very tight. You have to.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, I'll look at a little more of that Bill Clinton statement, see if there's anything worth mentioning. And we will finish strong.

[Katie Green]

Next, Armstrong and Getty.

[Jack Armstrong]

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[Joe Getty]

There's drama and then there's full telenovela level drama.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yes, and Elf Cosmetics went all the way there. Elf Cosmetics just dropped something wildly unexpected. A full blown absurdly funny telenovela celebrating positivity, inclusivity and accessibility. It's called Melissa and it's absurd in the best way. It stars Melissa McCarthy, TV doctor Nicholas Gonzalez and iconic telenovela villain Itati Cantoral. But the real star? Elf Glow Reviver Lip Oil.

[Joe Getty]

When the language fails her and her lips are dull and dry, only glow can revive her. Melissa McCarthy, who I love, fully commits by even rolling the arrs with E L F Glow Reviver Lip Oil.

[Jack Armstrong]

Elf Glow Reviver Lip Oil Reviver Lip Oil is an ultra glossy lip oil that nourishes, hydrates and enhances your lip lips natural color. Available in 10 shades at only $9 each.

[Joe Getty]

Watch the full episode of their new E L f novella on soyumbano.com yes

[Jack Armstrong]

and drench your lips in an addictive sheer watch of ultra glossy color with E L F Glow Reviver Lip Oil Magnesium supplements. You've mastered that. Now take it to the next level. Upgrade to Solaray Magnesium Glycinate from the number one magnesium brand in health food stores with a 50 year legacy of quality and trust. Solaray triple tests every raw ingredient for identity, purity and potency. The result? Expertly chelated magnesium for powerful muscle, bone and relaxation support that fits your daily stack. Shop Solaray Magnesium Glycinate on Amazon or solaray.com these statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. When your schedule sounds like this. Are you kidding me? An oil change is the last thing you have time for. So drive into Take five and let our techs change your oil. Check your tires, top off your fluids and have you back on the road pit stop fast. All while you stay in your car. No putting your entire schedule on hold. No upsells, no problem. So you can get back to your to do list or not. Find your nearest [e-mail] take five the stay in your car 10 minute oil change.

[Joe Getty]

So Bill Clinton testifying in the Epstein hearing. And again, this is a norm. Breaking in that, no, no former president has ever been forced to testify like this. You either think it's a good idea or you don't. There's one paragraph in this that I think is laughable in Bill Clinton's opening statement, but the rest of it I think is pretty good to make sense. For instance, he says, before we start, I have to get personal. You made Hillary come in. She had nothing to do with Jeffrey Epstein. Nothing. She has no memory of even meeting him. She neither traveled with him nor visited any of his properties. Whether you subpoenaed 10 people or 10,000, including her, was simply not right. I, I think I agree with that.

[Katie Green]

I agree with Billy. Jeff. Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

Now, let me say what you're going to hear from me first. I had no idea the crimes Epstein was committing. No matter how many photos you show me, I have two things that the end of the day matter more than your interpretation of those 20 year old photos. I know what I saw and more importantly, what I didn't see. I know what I did and more importantly, what I didn't do. I saw nothing and I did nothing wrong. Dude, you gotta be a little careful with your verbiage there, since one of the most famous clips of any president in the history of media is you wagging your finger at people and saying, I did nothing with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky. So we've heard this.

[Katie Green]

He said, I did not have sex with that woman, Lewinsky, because all he considers sex is intercourse.

[Joe Getty]

But you've lied to us before. I mean, so that, that's just a little bit of a problem. I believe him. I don't think he was involved in underage girls or pedophile ring or any of those things. But it's a little difficult when you've wagged your finger at me in the past and it turned out, oh, well, okay, shading it a little bit. I saw nothing. It did nothing wrong. Then he talks about growing, growing up in a home with domestic abuse and that he would have turned in Epstein himself and led the call for justice for his crimes. Not sweetheart deals shot at somebody, whoever. Whoever allowed those sweetheart deals to happen,

[Katie Green]

who later became part of the Trump administration. Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

By the time his 2008 guilty plea, I had long stopped associating with him. So Clinton had no interactions with him after Epstein was found guilty. You'll often hear me say that I don't recall. That might be unsatisfying, but I'm not going to say something I'm not sure of. This was a long time ago and I'M bound by my oath not to speculate or to guess. This is not merely for my benefit, but because it doesn't help you for me to play detective 24 years later. Since I'm under oath. I will not falsely state that I'm looking forward to your questions. That's a very Clinton sort of thing. But I'm ready to answer them to the best of my abilities, consistent with the facts of I know them. The legitimate, the logical, and even the outlandish with that, Mr. Chairman, fire away. And then we'll probably hear later today more about the actual questioning. And they're gonna release the videos of him and Hillary next week.

[Jack Armstrong]

Early.

[Joe Getty]

Here's the part that I have to call BS on. Says the first reason I'm there is that I'm a patriot and I love my country and no one's above the law and especially even presidents. Especially presidents. The other reason I'm here is that the girls and women whose lives Jeffrey Epstein destroyed deserve not only justice, but healing. Okay. It is known that you and Hillary and Clinton Inc. Destroyed many women's lives who either accused you of something wrongly or completely. Rightly, it turned out over time you destroyed their lives or went out of your way to try to destroy their lives.

[Katie Green]

Right. Certainly discredit them and humiliate them.

[Joe Getty]

Absolutely. I mean, that is as documented as anything could be. Paula Jones, Juanita Broderick, Jennifer Flowers, the ten year affair he had with the newscaster down there in Arkansas. Man, trying to make them look like crazy, slutty, disreputable drunks or whatever, you went out of your way to destroy these women's lives to try to stay in office. So I didn't like that paragraph. You don't get anything.

[Katie Green]

I believe he forced himself on money to Broderick. I've always believed her.

[Joe Getty]

Okay, so if that's true, and I don't know, but if he did, if he forced himself in a criminal way and wanting to Broadrick and then tried to destroy her life, that's pretty Epstein like, man. That's pretty Epstein like.

[Katie Green]

Yeah, I would agree.

[Joe Getty]

So that that particular paragraph stuck out to me is like. I can't believe you even wrote that.

[Katie Green]

Yeah, it's utterly unsurprising to me that he hung out with Epstein and really enjoyed it. It fits. The math works.

[Joe Getty]

I'm sure Hillary thinks the same thing.

[Katie Green]

Yeah, but I don't think he probably broke any laws or was with any underaged girls.

[Joe Getty]

Mrs. Clinton, we. A picture has just come out of Bill in a hot tub with Some women.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

I don't need to see it.

[Katie Green]

Come on.

[Joe Getty]

What do you think? This is news to me. Yeah.

[Katie Green]

You want some more? I've got them.

[Joe Getty]

The New York Times had a good paragraph Yesterday about how Ms. Clinton is in the uncomfortable position of once again having to defend her husband against blah, blah, blah. Cause she's been doing that her whole life.

[Katie Green]

Surely she thought by the time we're pushing 80, I won't have to do that anymore.

[Joe Getty]

No kidding.

[Katie Green]

Yeah, this, you know, this whole thing is so bread and circusy to me. I mean, there are huge challenges facing our government and our Congress, and there are good things the Trump administration is doing, but all of this is about each side trying to tar the other with the Epstein mess one way or another. It's just. It's exhausting to me.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, it'll be interesting to see how it goes. As I've mentioned several times, people close to Clinton are a little concerned about his mental abilities at this point. How about after six or seven hours of testimony? I mean, I don't know what I would say after you grilled me for six hours and I'm not 80. Whatever years old he is.

[Katie Green]

I'd say remind yourself what happened to some of our opponents through the years. Just saying. Clinton body count.

[Joe Getty]

Hey, kids, it's that time again

[Katie Green]

with Armstrong and Getty.

[Joe Getty]

So here's your host for final thoughts, Joe Getty.

[Katie Green]

Hey, everybody, let's get a final thought to wrap up the show for the day of the week, beginning with our technical director Michelangelo in the control room. Michael, what's your final thought?

[Joe Getty]

Yeah.

[Katie Green]

On today's show, we have mentioned the

[Joe Getty]

Burger King, Whopper pepper, Papa John's, McDonald's, and chicken parmesan.

[Katie Green]

And now I am starving. I've never been this hungry after a show.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah.

[Katie Green]

Katie Green, our esteemed news woman, has a final thought.

[Joe Getty]

Katie, now, while I feel for the teacher who had that video leak, you can see it at Katie's corner at Armstrong. Get. Yeah, people are kind of surprised. They can't find it on Twitter or the Internet anywhere. It's. It's just breaking. It happened at a school, like, miles from us. And so it's a brand new story. I have a feeling Jimmy Fallon will be talking about it by Monday night.

[Katie Green]

We need to tweet it with a link to the podcast where we talked about it. Right away, please.

[Joe Getty]

Absolutely. Let's make sure that's on there so we get the credit. Final thought, Jack. Yes. Gosh. Gosh, gosh, that was nice. That's my final thoughts.

[Katie Green]

My final thought is that after 10 months my 6 to 8 months remodel is almost done and we just found out we have a fairly serious little leak in one of our bathrooms and we need to rip out the bathroom. So I am now penniless destitute. If you see me by the roadside with a sign that reads Will bloviate for food please help. Every little bit counts. God Bless

[Joe Getty]

hot takes for change Armstrong and Getty wrapping up another grueling four hour workday.

[Katie Green]

So many people to thank, so little time. Go to Armstrong, you Getty doctor for the aforementioned goodness. Plus drop us a line. If you see something we ought to be talking about, email it. Mailbag armstrong and getty.com pick up some a swag like a T shirt or hoodie.

[Joe Getty]

I feel like our coverage of the Teacher and the Folgers canister was really good so you should check it out. See you Monday. God Bless America.

[Katie Green]

Armstrong and Getty for the all the teachers out there. Just a little advice, don't be at a cop.

[Joe Getty]

You can't use the commode down the

[Katie Green]

hall cause if you do you're in deep trouble. Deep trouble when really gotta go. Don't let anyone know

[Joe Getty]

you just kill the Folgers camp. Yes,

[Katie Green]

the Armstrong and Gettysburg Tired of

[Jack Armstrong]

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[Joe Getty]

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[Katie Green]

As athletes, our lives are about having

[Joe Getty]

a clear path and a team that you can absolutely trust.

[Jack Armstrong]

So when it came to getting the best mortgage, we chose PennyMac. PennyMac is proud to be the official mortgage provider of team USA and you

[Katie Green]

learn more at pennymac.com pennymac loan services llc llc equal housing lender nmls id 35953 licensed by the Department of Financial Protection and Innovation under the California Residential Mortgage Lending Act. Conditions and restrictions may apply.

[Jack Armstrong]

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