You Met Gramma At a Kegger?

Summary

Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: "You Met Gramma At a Kegger?" (August 21, 2025)

Host: iHeartPodcasts (Jack Armstrong, Joe Getty, Michael, Katie)

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Overview

This episode dives into the peculiar rise of commissioned family memoirs—often penned for a hefty fee—exploring the motivations, meaning, and potential absurdity behind documenting personal and family history. The hosts mix personal anecdotes, sharp social commentary, and humor as they discuss everything from the value of ancestral stories to the prospect of AI ghostwriting memoirs, all wrapped up in their trademark conversational, witty style.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. "Shreking" and the Idea of Dating Down

• [03:25] Michael introduces a recent radio segment on the concept of "shreking" (women deliberately dating unattractive men, expecting better treatment).
  • Michael finds the term and idea highly distasteful:

    "It includes the term dating down, which I find horrific. Anybody who ever uses that term should be...thrown into a volcano." (03:52, Michael)

  • Jack is disturbed by both the concept and the casual attitude toward it:

    "I'm horrified by that." (04:33, Jack)

  • The group agrees that while people may seek security or graciousness, the idea of "dating down" is unhealthy and "evil."

2. Extravagant Family Memoirs: Charming or Cringe?

• [04:35] Discussion of wealthy individuals commissioning lavish memoirs to pass down family history.
  • Jack reads a headline:

    "You met grandma at a keg party. The rich order $100,000 memoirs for family only." (04:55, Jack)

  • Dissects a featured story of a 92-year-old woman who paid $12,000 for her 185-page memoir, lamenting that the sacrifices made by past generations may otherwise be lost.

  • "I wanted my kids to realize the sacrifices made by the family which led to our current lifestyle. I think that could be so lost." (06:08, Jack quoting the subject)

3. Value of Family History & Ancestry

• [06:23] The conversation broadens to family history's impact—does interest fade past two generations?
  • Michael expresses skepticism, citing the daunting math and reduced relevance as branches expand:

    "You don’t have to go back very many generations before you're, like, looking at 1 of 16 and then 1 of 32. It’s just...a minor part of your history. That's where I lose interest." (08:02, Michael)

  • Jack, by contrast, argues that knowing details about earlier generations can be fascinating and offer perspective:

    "If my great great grandfather, even my great grandfather, had written a memoir, I would find that absolutely fascinating." (08:27, Jack)

  • The group mocks celebrities who get melodramatic over distant relatives' misdeeds:

    "It's not that significant that, like, the whole pathetic—and I mean pathetic—celebrity who finds out that 14 generations ago, or whatever it is, one of their ancestors owned slaves, and they're just devastated by it. You have a soft effing head." (08:58, Jack)

4. Personal Anecdotes: Forgotten Memories & Family Contradictions

• [10:59] Jack shares contrasting family lineage—some from Lincoln's Secretary of War, some from pro-secession South Carolinians—and ponders identity.

  > "Which color do I wear in the Civil War reenactment?...You had a hero, you had a villain and everything in between. Just be you." (10:59, Jack)
  

• Hosts discuss how little personal detail survives from generations back, and how even their own memories can be unreliable.
• Michael marvels at the increasing volume of permanent digital memories:

  "You'll have everything that ever happened in their entire lives that was on Instagram or Facebook or whatever it was. So they kind of will have a memoir of everybody starting in like 2010." (10:18, Michael)

5. Memoirs and Future Tech: Can AI Write Your Story?

• [12:12] Katie poses the provocative question:

  "Can you take that part of it out, insert all of that information into ChatGPT and get this done for nothing?" (12:38, Katie)

  • Michael and Jack speculate that with enough interviews or digital data, AI could assemble a full memoir at negligible cost—prompting discussion of the loss of the personal touch and the value of diverse perspectives for a full life story.

6. The Fragmented and Unreliable Nature of Memory

• [13:13] Jack and Michael bond over how little of their own youth they remember, and how friends sometimes have to remind them of major life events.
  • Michael:

    "I recently had somebody tell me a story that I didn't know anything about with me in it because of drinking...I had no idea." (13:46, Michael)

  • Jack shares that he once saved two lives and forgot about both incidents until reminded, suggesting:

    "That's why I have such clarity in an emergency, because I'm unencumbered by like any other thought." (15:34, Jack)

7. Memoir Titles: A Moment of Lighthearted Reflection

• [20:08] As the segment wraps, Jack challenges everyone to name their hypothetical memoir:
  • Michael:

    "Shooting for a B. That's my entire life. Shooting for B. Not excellence, just, you know, slightly above average." (20:41, Michael)

  • Jack:

    "Focus. Try to focus. The Joe Getty story." (20:56, Jack)

  • Katie:

    "Mine would be something along the lines of like more coffee...because I'm always tired. More coffee or IV of caffeine." (21:13, Katie)

  • Jack (quoting Eric Clapton):

    "There's never been a moment of my life I haven't wanted to lie down or felt like lying down." (21:28, Jack)

  • Jack again:

    "Mediocrity, like a warm bath." (21:45, Jack)

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Notable Quotes

"It includes the term dating down, which I find horrific. Anybody who ever uses that term should be...thrown into a volcano."
— Michael, [03:52]

"If my great great grandfather, even my great grandfather, had written a memoir, I would find that absolutely fascinating."
— Jack, [08:27]

"You'll have everything that ever happened in their entire lives that was on Instagram or Facebook or whatever it was. So they kind of will have a memoir of everybody starting in like 2010."
— Michael, [10:18]

"Can you...insert all of that information into ChatGPT and get this done for nothing?"
— Katie, [12:38]

"I've saved a lot of lives. Can you refresh?"
— Katie, [15:07]

"Mediocrity, like a warm bath."
— Jack, [21:45]

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Important Timestamps

• [03:25] The "shreking" dating trend explained & critiqued
• [04:35] Memoirs as luxury family heirlooms
• [06:42] Rural family hardships; Jack shares his father's lack of plumbing
• [08:02] Debating value of genealogy beyond grandparents
• [10:18] The digital memoir era: endless Instagrams as unwritten autobiography
• [12:38] The prospect of AI ghostwriting memoirs
• [13:13] On forgetting pivotal moments from their own lives
• [20:08] "Title your memoir" round

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Tone and Style

True to Armstrong & Getty's signature tone, the conversation mixes sharp social observation, personal storytelling, and plenty of dry, self-deprecating humor. They approach even touchy subjects with irreverence, but ground their arguments in a search for meaning and value in personal stories, both epic and ordinary.

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For listeners new and old, this episode is an entertaining meditation on why and how we tell our own stories—and whether it’s worth dropping five or six figures to do so.

Transcript

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[Jack]

Kegger and you're both drunk. I'll be damned. It's one more thing.

[Katie]

Armstrong and Getty.

[Jack]

One more thing before we get to.

[Michael]

Whatever horror that is going to do an in podcast tease of the radio show. Or I guess our other podcasts I've never done before. So we talked about shreking on the radio today. Shreking is the concept of women dating guys who are unattractive on purpose with the idea that the guy will treat them better.

[Jack]

You feel like will be so grateful.

[Michael]

It includes the term dating down, which I find horrific. Anybody who ever uses that term should be, Joe said, thrown into a volcano. Yeah, if you're. If you are dating down, that is. That is not good dating down. Whatever the hell that means.

[Jack]

Evil.

[Michael]

But if you want to hear more about that horrible concept of shreking which actually exists apparently according to a friend of mine who texted me and said oh yeah, lots of her friends in LA do it. They. They date have done it. They date less attractive guys than they deserve, which is an interesting term thinking they'll treat them better. But we did that in our two of the Armstrong and Getty show. So look for the podcast Armstrong and Getty on Demand.

[Jack]

I'm horrified by that.

[Michael]

I know.

[Jack]

Anyway, so I thought this was actually semi charming. At first it doesn't seem so, but hang with it. Ordering having somebody write a memoir for.

[Michael]

You of you unless you've done something really interesting her historic in your life. Does there need to be a memoir?

[Jack]

I like this headline. You met grandma at a keg party. The rich order $100,000 memoirs for family only Grabber headline. Kind of click baity subheads. Kind of amusing too. Some just want their Heirs to know they worked hard for their money, while others are more forthcoming. My one and only acid trip, blah, blah, blah. But they. They profile this gal who's 92, Rudy is her name, with an eye. She paid $12,000. So I don't know where the headline with a hundred grand came from. The. I don't think they mentioned anybody who paid anywhere near that. But she paid $12,000 for 185 page book about her family and her. Her life history and her family history from Lifebook memoirs. The book, entitled From Menzingen to Lake Chellen, starts off with her German immigrant grandparents living in a sod dugout on a Nebraska farm at the end of the 19th century. Five of the couple's 14 children died, including two in a lightning strike. Ms. Pauley and her late husband Jim were the majority owners of a Washington state fruit business that packed 2 million boxes of apples and cherries a year, which is now very big and successful. But she says, quote, I wanted my kids to realize, realize the sacrifices made by the family which led to our current lifestyle. I think that could be so lost.

[Michael]

Hmm.

[Jack]

And again, again. It's funny, the clickbaity headline is like trying to make you resent the rich. But a couple of the stories they go through are utterly charming. And I'm reminded, Jack, of your stories about your dad who didn't have indoor plumbing till what, college?

[Michael]

When he left home, when he graduated high school, they still didn't have electricity or plumbing. Right in the candles.

[Jack]

Late 30s or 1940. Ish.

[Michael]

He was born in 37. He graduated high school in 55.

[Jack]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Katie, you grew up in San Francisco. You. It's hard to imagine in 1955 in Iowa they didn't have electricity because in San Francisco they had electricity in like 1880.

[Jack]

Yeah.

[Katie]

That's amazing.

[Jack]

But I think like your kids, or if grandkids ever come along, them hearing that is. Is really good and interesting and helps them understand history and how what is now hasn't always been.

[Michael]

And yeah, no, I.

[Jack]

Because then you realize what is now won't necessarily always be. So you can change it if you like.

[Michael]

I agree with that. For two generations. I was. Somebody was talking about this the other day and I agreed that for whatever reason, you really only can wrap your head around or have much interest in, like your parents you're interested in and your grandparents, who you've probably met, but you go back one more generation to people you've never even met and maybe there aren't even pictures of it drops off pretty quickly. Which you're interested in them, I think.

[Jack]

Oh, I disagree. I disagree. I mean, if you're not into the whole genealogy thing, I get that. But if I knew more about my great grandparents and their lives and their struggles, I think that's fascinating.

[Michael]

Problem is because I went. I did. I got shortly, really into the ancestry.com thing, and I paid the huge price to be on it for a while and filled in all the stuff and everything. But then I quickly realized you don't have to go back very many generations before you're, like looking at 1 of 16 and then 1 of 32. And it's just. It's such a minor part of your history. That's where I lose interest.

[Jack]

Well, especially because there's generally very little that's recorded or to be said. But if it was something more memoir. Ish. If my great great grandfather, even my great grandfather, had written a memoir, I would find that absolutely fascinating. But I see your point. If it's like an inch deep and there's some guy named Jebedia Getty who lived from 1870 to 1907, I mean. Okay.

[Michael]

And they're 1 64th or 128th of lineage.

[Jack]

Right, Right. It can be interesting. The whole. I have an ancestor who. Dot, dot, dot. We've discussed this before. I don't mean to squash people's innocent fun. I really don't. But it's not that significant that, like the whole pathetic, and I mean pathetic celebrity who finds out that 14 generations ago, or whatever it is one of their ancestors own slaves, and they're just devastated by it. You have a soft effing head. Get over it. You had heroes, you had villains, you had people who worked hard, never got very far, but their loved ones loved them and everything in between, and so does everybody else. Now, if you were. You're direct descendant of Abraham Lincoln. All right, I'll raise a glass to you. Okay, that's fine.

[Michael]

Or the Mayflower families. I know they have a shindig every year. If you're a direct descendant of the Mayflower.

[Jack]

Yeah, okay, great. But I'm sorry, to me, that's. That's a little pathetic.

[Michael]

But you'd be one. I don't even want to be. But it would have to be one, like, at this point, eight thousandth of your lineage. What does that mean? It means nothing. I'll tell you what it means. It means absolutely nothing.

[Jack]

Yeah, yeah.

[Michael]

But the having everybody doing some sort of. Well, there will be a memoir for Everybody starting, like 20 years ago, going forward, that's the Norm MacDonald routine of like, you know, everybody had one picture of their great grandpa. He's standing there looking like a farmer. It's the only picture you've ever seen of your grandpa. Well, in the future you'll say, hey, do you want to see 50,000 pictures of my great grandfather? Because you'll have everything that ever happened in their entire lives that was on Instagram or Facebook or whatever it was. So they kind of will have a memoir of everybody starting in like 2010 and going forward, whether they wrote one or not.

[Jack]

Katie, I think you've heard this, that I found out I've known for a long time that on my dad's mom's side of the family, they're directly descended from Lincoln's Secretary War who helped save the union. And it turns out on my mom's side of the family, her mom's side of the family, they're all from South Carolina and were movers and shakers in the secession movement. So which color do I wear in the Civil War reenactment? What. What part of my identity should I really rest on? Which side? See, that's the point. Y' all had a murderer and you had a cop who arrested murderers, you had a hero, you had a villain and everything in between. Just be you. You be you and then pay $10,000 and have your memoir written. Because in a couple of generations it might be mil.

[Michael]

When things go south for you and the media comes to me, I will mention that you were a descendant of slaveholders.

[Jack]

So it makes sense. You know the math. Really?

[Michael]

Yeah, it's figures. Sounds about right.

[Jack]

Liberal. The liberal media would print that without comment.

[Michael]

Absolutely.

[Jack]

Easily.

[Michael]

Absolutely.

[Jack]

Like you're making some sort of really important point.

[Katie]

So the people writing these memoirs, I'm assuming they obviously sit down and talk.

[Jack]

To the people, get their hours and hours of interviews.

[Katie]

Hours and hours. So can you take that part of it out, insert all of that information into chat GPT and get this done for nothing?

[Michael]

Probably.

[Jack]

What an interesting question.

[Katie]

Because I would think it the prompt.

[Jack]

Chat GPT, take all of that stuff and write a memoir for me that's.

[Katie]

Exactly 215 pages long or whatever.

[Jack]

Yeah, my would have to have a Mike, the lawyer from Chicago who was one of my best friends from middle school on and has a dozen unbelievable stories about me that I have no memory of.

[Michael]

Wow.

[Jack]

Until he tells them. Then I'm like, oh wow, I can picture that scene. But unrecalled, no memory. I'd never think of him again as long as I Live.

[Katie]

I love people like that.

[Jack]

I remember so little of my youth. It's. It's kind of tragic and might have to do with concussions, I don't know. But I would need him and I would need a panel of people, because if you just interview me, it's like, you know, I. For whatever reason, I read musician autobiographies and stuff because I'm music freak, and some of them telling long, detailed stories about the 1971 tour when we. Blah, blah, blah. I'm like, how the hell do you remember that stuff? But it's a gift, I guess. I envy people like that.

[Michael]

I. I recently had somebody tell me a story that I didn't know anything about with me in it because of drinking. But. But it was just like. And I had no idea. And they didn't even know I was drunk at the time. But so. And to find that I was like, God, I wonder how many stories I have either forgotten from childhood or forgotten from adulthood drinking of, like, just my own life, My own life story. I could watch a movie of things, like. And be all news to me. Things that have happened in my life.

[Jack]

Well, right. Yeah. You want to hear something crazy? I have, on two different occasions, probably saved somebody's life. And the one I had practically no memory of, alcohol was involved in that one. And the other one, the guy, I hadn't seen him in years, and he greeted me with, oh, my God, there's. It's the guy who saved my life. Joe, how are you? And I'm like, what? And I totally. I'd forgotten about it. I remember that incident pretty clearly now that he reminded me. But, yeah, I just. My brain just doesn't work.

[Michael]

I would have thought jumping in front of that charging bull, you would have remembered that. But.

[Jack]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, he only took out one of my testicles with his horns. So I just. I guess I just think about the other one that's left. Yeah, yeah, I would have responded. One was a guy. Oh, no, go ahead, go ahead. How would you respond?

[Katie]

Well, I would have responded with, I'm sorry, sir. I've saved a lot of lives. Can you refresh?

[Michael]

Kind of thing. Kind of my thing, saving lives.

[Jack]

One guy was going over a high railing, and I just grabbed him with both hands and hauled him back because he was hammered. God knows it would have been very bad damage. He might not have died. He might have just, you know, severe concussion or something. Pardon me.

[Michael]

You saved a concussion at minimum.

[Jack]

And the other guy was. Had viral meningitis and nobody knew what to do. They're like just let him sleep. And I said he's not asleep, he's unconscious. We're calling 911 right now. And I called him and they came and he would have died within what they said, six hours or something? Wow. Jeez. Anyway, but I didn't remember. That's why I have such clarity in an emergency, because I'm unencumbered by like any other thought. Duh.

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[Jack]

Just a quick reminder that if you do any of the ancestry stuff, give them a saliva sample, not a stool sample. Right? It's a good point. It screws up the results. Yes, that's right. Michael, before you go, before we go, everybody's got to have to off the top of their head. What is the title of your memoir that you have Ghost Written now, because I've put this demand upon you, I will go first. I know.

[Michael]

It reminded me. I'll give you time to think. This is something I say all the time and I'm not proud of it. Shooting for a B, that's my entire life. Shooting for B. Jack Armstrong. Not excellence, just, you know, slightly above average. It's all I ever really hope for.

[Jack]

Mine would be focus. Try to focus. The Joe Getty story. Michael or Katie, who's up next?

[Katie]

I think Michael looks like he's.

[Michael]

He's.

[Jack]

I'm still thinking, but.

[Katie]

Oh, you're still thinking.

[Jack]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Mine would be something along the lines of like more coffee or something I like because I'm always tired. More coffee or IV of caffeine.

[Michael]

That sucks being always tired. My son's like that too. Just always exhausted for some reason.

[Jack]

Yeah, yeah, I can relate. As the great Eric Clapton said, jack, you hit me with this quote many years ago, speaking of things I do and don't remember. There's never been a moment of my life I haven't wanted to lie down or felt like lying down.

[Katie]

That's my memoir.

[Michael]

That's your title?

[Jack]

Yeah. I think mine would be Mediocrity, like a warm bath.

[Michael]

There you go.

[Jack]

That's pretty good. That's nice. Good imagery. Well, I guess that's it.

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[Christina Quinn]

If you eat too many ultra processed foods, you could be starving your gut microbes and they'll get hangry. That's one of many things I learned after working on a new audio course about the gut microbiome. You can learn how to keep your gut happy by listening to Try this from the Washington Post. I'm Christina Quinn. I host Try this Dig in with Me on practical advice for life's common challenges. Follow Try this right now, wherever you're listening. Seriously, try it.

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[Lenovo Announcer]

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[Christina Quinn]

This is an iHeart podcast.