You Will Be Mist

Summary

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Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: "You Will Be Mist"

Date: March 12, 2026
Hosts: Jack Armstrong & Joe Getty

Episode Overview

This episode covers the fallout from recent turmoil in Iran—including rumors about the health and legitimacy of Iran’s new Supreme Leader—plus the politics of presidential war powers, U.S. partisanship in war authorization, reflections on the Salman Rushdie fatwa and its long-term cultural significance, and conversations ranging from the absurd (record-setting feats involving testicles) to the gritty realities of rural American life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Presidential War Powers, Congress, and Partisanship

[00:33–03:56]

• Discussion starts with Bill Maher's interview with Adam Schiff on presidential military authority.
• The hosts dissect the constitutional ambiguity on initiating military actions without explicit Congressional authorization.
• Jack Armstrong criticizes Congress as “all a bunch of freaking cowards” ([01:54]) for avoiding votes on war, tying it to long-lasting political consequences for those who vote “yes,” citing Hillary Clinton and John Kerry as examples.
• Joe Getty observes:

  “Not only are they cowards like you described, but they're flaming, flaming partisans. If there was an act that would cure cancer...the Democrats would vote almost unanimously against it.” ([02:46])

• The hosts agree this leads to an unstable constitutional situation where the President increasingly unilaterally decides on military action.

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2. Iran’s Leadership Crisis & Speculation on New Supreme Leader

[04:31–06:46, 09:09–11:11, 34:53–36:43]

• Intense rumor mill about the new Iranian Supreme Leader’s health—unconfirmed reports suggest he’s in a coma and missing a leg, possibly killed or incapacitated in an attack that killed his family ([06:13]).
• The written statement issued on state TV is seen as suspicious—a “proof of life” without audio or video.
• Jack Armstrong points out:

  “His whole family is dead, including his dad. So that's kind of an interesting story right there. Is there a chance that the Revolutionary Guard needed a religious figurehead...while they get their act together?” ([05:29])

• Joe Getty:

  “Breaking speculation. The New York Post is reporting reports have circulated that the new Supreme Leader is in a coma, having lost his leg.” ([06:13])

• They speculate this could be psychological warfare, intentionally spread to destabilize the regime or its followers.
• Later, Jack returns to the topic, reflecting on the oddity of a written-only statement and the paranoia about tracking or revealing the leader’s location ([34:53–36:43]).

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3. Analysis of Trump’s Iran Policy Motivations

[06:55–10:16]

• Referencing Barton Swaim’s Wall Street Journal column, Joe Getty discusses mainstream media’s attempts to ascribe cynical or self-centered motives to Trump's current Iran policy.
• Getty paraphrases Swaim, dismantling assumptions:

  “The only plausible motivation for his order to strike Iran is a judicious and honorable one. ...The regime in Tehran constantly menaces America and its allies…no bizarre ulterior motives are necessary.” ([08:55])

• The hosts note Trump is risking his presidency and antagonizing his own base, indicating motives beyond political gain or distraction.

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4. Salman Rushdie and the Long Arm of the Fatwa

[10:16–19:00, 19:56–22:44]

• The hosts transition to the global impact of Iran’s death sentence (fatwa) on author Salman Rushdie and its message about fundamentalist Islam’s reach.
• Joe Getty:

  “It was a signal we should have heeded...the calling card. The announcement by the Ayatollah...is that, if you offend us, we will kill you and everyone you work with, wherever you are on earth till the end of time.” ([15:36])

• Recap of the litany of violence that followed: firebombed bookstores, translators and publishers attacked and killed, and the lack of principled defense from Western governments.
• Armstrong expresses Rushdie’s disappointment in Western responses:

  “Rushdie was so amazed at how many governments...made statements of, we shouldn't be offending Muslims...They didn't take the side of free speech.” ([16:28])

• Getty draws parallels to current geopolitics, suggesting the fear seeded then still impacts global attitudes toward Islamist threats.

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5. Cultural Grit: Farm Life, Death, and Modern Distance

[27:25–31:12]

• Following a segment on bizarre record attempts (man pulls a car with his testicles), the tone shifts to rural American realities and society’s disconnection from grit and mortality.
• Memorable moment: Jack's story of a small Nebraska town where fifth graders watched the local butcher shoot and process a steer as a field trip ([29:00]).
• Joe Getty:

  “The grit and reality of farm life...is now so distant. Most people's lives are so, you know, sterile and...safe and careful.” ([28:23])

• Discussion of whether modern society’s disconnect from the realities of death and butchery has implications for how we value life and death.

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6. Notable and Absurd Moments

Iran’s Supreme Leader’s Potency in the Headlines

[19:09]

• The New York Post is mocked for focusing on rumors about the Supreme Leader's alleged impotence:

  “The New York Post will not let up on the fact that the Supreme Leader, the new Supreme Leader, can't get an erection...Their headline in the California Post is Soft Launch Iran's Supreme Leader Puts Out.” –Jack Armstrong ([19:09])

Absurd Feat: Man Pulls Car with Testicles

[24:11–27:02]

• The hosts play a sound game, which turns out to be the audio of a man pulling a car with his testicles.
• Joe Getty:

  “He munched on a bag of nuts while completing his challenge. He joked afterwards, ‘when I'd finished, my plums were bright purple, but I'm still firing on all cylinders.’” ([25:05])

• This sparks a discussion of similar feats around the world, and the apparatus necessary for the act.

Show and Tell: Castrating Goats

[27:25–28:20]

• Jack recounts bringing a goat castration tool as “show and tell” and explains the mechanics to a fascinated/disgusted Getty and co-host.

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7. Threats on the West Coast & Strait of Hormuz Scenario

[12:33–13:05, 32:21–34:53]

• Listeners were alarmed about a supposed Iranian drone threat to the West Coast, but the hosts clarify it’s an old story from February resurfacing.
• Jack shares analysis:

  “The Straits of Hormuz aren't completely closed. Iranian tankers are still passing through, bringing oil to China and oil revenue to the Islamic Republic.” ([33:11])

• Discussion about the delicacy of antagonizing China by targeting Iranian oil shipments.

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8. Closing Reflections & Teasers for Upcoming Guests

[36:43–37:12]

• Hosts tease an upcoming segment with Mike Lyons on why U.S. forces can’t decisively strike back against attacks from Iran’s positions.
• Jack closes this portion reflecting on the constraints the U.S. faces.

  “How can we not take out whatever Iran has that's allowing it to fire on these ships? ...I want to hear what Mike's explanation for that is.” ([36:52])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Trainers or scientists have taught a weasel to speak.” – Joe Getty, riffing on political language ([01:22])
• “You will be mist. M I S T.” – Jack Armstrong, punning on a possible fate for the Supreme Leader ([06:50])
• “Folks, we're all Salman Rushdie.” – Joe Getty, paralleling threats to free speech and Western society ([19:00])
• “When I'd finished, my plums were bright purple, but I'm still firing on all cylinders.” – Quoting John Stevenson, record car-puller ([25:05])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:33 – Obama, war authority, and Congress’s role
• 03:56 – Trolley car dilemma & Congressional paralysis
• 04:31 – Introduction of Iran’s new Supreme Leader rumors
• 06:13 – "Breaking speculation" on Supreme Leader’s condition
• 09:00 – Barton Swaim’s analysis of Trump’s motives
• 10:16 – Introduction to Salman Rushdie/fatwa segment
• 15:45 – The fatwa as a harbinger of global terror, Western reactions
• 19:09 – Mockery of tabloid focus: Supreme Leader’s virility
• 24:11–27:02 – Absurd sound game & record testicle-pulling feat
• 27:25–31:12 – Farm grit, butchering, and distancing from death
• 34:53–36:43 – Written statement and paranoia about Supreme Leader’s survival
• 36:52 – Preview: Why the U.S. can’t strike Iranian positions

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Conclusion

“You Will Be Mist” is a quintessential Armstrong & Getty episode—mixing dead-serious global affairs, trenchant cultural criticism, and absurd, even grotesque humor. From Iran’s leadership crisis to the legacy of the Rushdie affair and the realities of war powers in the U.S., the hosts navigate the bizarre and the profound. Memorable moments abound, from practical farm-life stories to headline-grabbing stunts and the persistent unpredictability of world events.

Recommended for listeners wanting an unvarnished, satirical-yet-serious perspective on current events, politics, and modern culture.

Transcript

[Jack Armstrong]

This is an iHeart podcast, guaranteed human

[Joe Getty]

broadcasting live from the Abraham Lincoln Radio Studio at the George Washington Broadcast Center, Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty. Armstrong and Getty.

[Jack Armstrong]

And now here's Armstrong and Getty. The new Supreme Leader has made his first statement since being named Ayatollah Tola. Have that next.

[Joe Getty]

But first, we give you Bill Maher talking to Adam Schiff. This statement from the administration. The president had the constitutional authority to direct the use of military force because he could reasonably determine that such use of force was in the national interest. That's too vague for you.

[Jack Armstrong]

Totally vague.

[Joe Getty]

Okay. Because that's from Obama about Libya.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, Obama made the argument initially that he could go into Syria without an authorization. I and many others pushed back on that argument. Ultimately, he did not go forward with going after Assad, even though Assad was gassing his own people because he thought he might lose the vote in Congress. But I respect the fact that that was important to him, and the fact that he did not have the support of Congress meant that we weren't going to go forward.

[Joe Getty]

Okay. He's a weasel, a talking weasel. That's really our headline, ladies and gentlemen. Trainers or scientists have taught a weasel to speak.

[Jack Armstrong]

That's a pretty good move by Bill Maher, I thought, though. Sure.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, and then Schiff's argument not to dwell on it too long because he's a lying piece of garbage, but that

[Jack Armstrong]

got the smallest, thinnest neck I've ever seen.

[Joe Getty]

It ended up being a good thing that Obama promised a red line and then destroyed American deterrence for a couple of decades because he would have lost a vote in Congress.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, it's a complicated thing, though, and that's a problem we've got right now and why presidents aren't going to Congress. If Trump had gone to Congress, it might not have passed. And then, so you've got the president and the people around him who firmly believe this is a necessary thing for the United States to do for our world safety, our own safety, and for the safety of the world. And Congress, because they're all a bunch of freaking cowards, I think, said no. So I guess we'll just let them get a nuclear weapon eventually or continue to harass the world or whatever. And Obama did decide, okay, we'll put it to a vote, find out that it was gonna lose, and so didn't enforce his own red line, which the Commander in chief. So the commander in Chief can't make red lines anymore without going to Congress first, I guess.

[Joe Getty]

And what I'm about to say is not a good thing, it's a bad thing. But not only are they cowards like you described, but they're flaming, flaming partisans. If there was an act that would cure cancer for all time and Trump, the Trump White House, you know, was promoting it, the Democrats would vote almost unanimously against it. And to put it to a vote would make it in like, in ink, a partisan issue, a strictly partisan issue. If he went before Congress, that's a bad thing. I'm not saying, therefore he was smart to not go. It just, it's, it highlights what. It's a bad situation we're in as a country and a constitution, honestly.

[Jack Armstrong]

But.

[Joe Getty]

Right. I don't want to dwell on it because it's unsolvable.

[Jack Armstrong]

If everybody in Congress is scared to ever vote yes, you won't get in trouble for voting no, but you could get in trouble for voting yes. Hillary had the voting for the Iraq war hung around her her entire presidential campaign is probably the main reason she lost to Barack Obama in 2008 for the nomination. Cuz she voted for the Iraq war. So now nobody ever wants to vote for it. John Kerry had the same problem on the Iraq war vote. So nobody, no, nobody ever wants to vote for it. But then you got the problem of do you want to have one guy deciding wars all the time? Which doesn't seem like the best system.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, we don't have time to philosophize too long on this point. But the trolley car dilemma makes it just so infinitely clear. People view sins of omission completely different than they view sins of commission. Not doing something, even if, you know that is a horrifying choice, is seen as less of a sin than doing something that might end up having a bad result. Humans are strange. I don't like you people. Well, I do like you people. I don't like humankind in general. Anyway. So speaking of Donald Trump and his motivations and blah, blah, blah.

[Jack Armstrong]

And we've got the statement from the Supreme Leader to come.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, right, right, yeah, yeah. Do you want to do that first?

[Jack Armstrong]

Your choice. Written comments. Written comments from the new Supreme Leader. First time he's said anything using my finger quotes since he was voted in. Is he alive? Is he able to speak?

[Joe Getty]

Well, he sure hell doesn't want to go on camera. I mean, if anybody could possibly discern where he is, that's the last thing he wants. Staying alive is his main goal right now.

[Jack Armstrong]

Anyway. His message was that Iran will keep fighting and they are going to keep the Strait of Hormuz Closed or Straits of Hormuz? I'm going back to straits. I just saw the best map I've seen yet of that area. So you got that little island. That's a strait between the island and that. And then the island is in the strait. So you have a straight on each side of the island.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, you've got a straight straight.

[Jack Armstrong]

So I think Straits is fine.

[Joe Getty]

I'm at a straight.

[Jack Armstrong]

This is not the biggest problem we have in America, but he vowed that the new Supreme Leader that they would avenge the blood of the martyrs. He has not appeared on video or in public since he was appointed on Monday. There are reports that he is injured. How bad, we don't know. But, like, everybody around him was killed. His whole family is dead, including his dad. So that's kind of an interesting story right there. Is there a chance that the Revolutionary Guard needed a religious figurehead to point to as the leader while they get their act together? And he's either dead or barely holding on or not very much of a force?

[Joe Getty]

Breaking speculation. Breaking speculation. The New York Post is reporting reports have circulated that the new Supreme Leader is in a coma, having lost his leg.

[Jack Armstrong]

Who's reporting that?

[Joe Getty]

A New York Post, I believe. Is that what I just said?

[Jack Armstrong]

Wow.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

He's in a coma.

[Joe Getty]

Who knows? Fog of War.

[Jack Armstrong]

Who does know?

[Joe Getty]

So I think. And that could be.

[Jack Armstrong]

That could be psyops. Cause we want the Revolutionary Guard or whoever might be following the Supreme Leader to think, oh, my God, we're being lied.

[Joe Getty]

Until he shows himself. And when he shows himself, Kurt Bluey.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yes. You will be missed. M I S T. It's tough work

[Joe Getty]

being the Supreme Leader these days. So I think Barton Swaim is correct in the Wall Street Journal. He wrote a great piece today about what's motivating Donald Trump and the various disparaging answers that are kicking around. Wants to distract attention from the Epstein files. I'm not a violent man, but I would like to slap anyone who says that at least a couple of good firm times. Two, he likes being the big shot in the center of attention. Well, that's unquestionably true, but I don't think it's primary here. He wants to profit somehow. He's following the dictates of Benjamin Netanyahu. Read the Jews. But then Barton Swim points out none of these work. Trump's taken by far the biggest risk of his public life, approving Epic Operation Epic Fury. He staked his presidency on a better than Pyrrhic outcome. I mean, better than disaster. He's antagonized a material faction of his MAGA coalition, something he's not really done before. He's probably annoyed as vice president. The idea of Trump as a political animal cynically weighing the war's likely outcome in electoral terms also doesn't satisfy. He could have launched a few Tomahawk missiles, declared the mission a success, and blah blah blah in the manner of Bill Clinton. But Trump didn't do that. He authorized a full on complex assault on what a predecessor deemed a member of the axis of evil. And nearly two weeks later, despite relentlessly negative press coverage and the prospect of economic troubles, he has not called it off. The question is why? If Mr. Trump is either the unserious buffoon his detractors on the left assume him to be, or the anti war peacenik as some of his MAGA supporters thought he was, why did he do it? What's driving both camps batty is that the only plausible motivation for his order to strike Iran is a judicious and honorable one. And I should point out Barton Swaim is no Trump. Honk. Okay. But he says it's a judicious and honorable one that the regime in Tehran constantly menaces America and its allies, that it's rulers can be counted on to continue the pursuit of a nuclear weapon, and no bizarre ulterior motives are necessary. They're a violent, hateful, bloodthirsty, malign regime that's trying to get nukes as fast as they can.

[Jack Armstrong]

Period.

[Joe Getty]

Mr. Trump's disaffected anti war supporters have compiled video clips of the president saying he won't start wars, he'll end them. Sure, you've probably seen those clips, although he has a pretty solid counter argument, namely that the Islamic Republic started the war and has sustained it on and off for the past 47 years. The internal reasonings for Mr. Trump's decision on most subjects are protean, difficult to discern, his explanations for them confusing. But bear one thing in mind. He's old fashioned. Recall some remarks he made a few weeks into his first term. We have to start winning wars again. I have to say when I was young in high school and college, everybody used to say we never lost a war. We never lost a war. You remember? We never now we never win a war. We never win and we don't fight to win.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, the whole idea of the pyric victory of it's from a famous battle where the general said something along the lines of we just won this battle, but I think we're going to lose the war because of the expenditure of troops and treasure and all that sort of stuff would be that, you know, we have this great big blast at the beginning, take out the supreme Leader, but ultimately history decides it was a bad idea. I mean, that's the way Trump has bet his entire presidency is how it eventually turns out. I mean, that's the way history will judge it.

[Joe Getty]

Indeed. Indeed. And oddly enough, I want to get into the fatwa against Salman Rushdie and how significant it was and is after. And this is an odd transition. After talking about your dog's nutrition with rough grains.

[Jack Armstrong]

Someone rushed. He got his eye stabbed out. Would you like more enzymes for your dog food?

[Joe Getty]

You know, I consider myself pretty damn good at transitions, but there was just nothing there. There was nothing there that wasn't just horrifying. Hey, it's about your dog's long term health. Providing live bioavailable nutrients including essential vitamins, minerals, probiotics, digestive enzymes and omega oils. It's all about reducing the oxidative stress. Have you read about that? Support immune defense and slow age related decline. Helping your dog stay active, mobile and al is the age.

[Jack Armstrong]

Rough Greens brings the nutrition back to shelf stable dog food, which is what you're using now. Your dog might like it and it's perfectly fine. And you don't have to change your dog food. You just add the rough greens and it ain't going to cost you nothing. But the shipping. Rough Greens is offering a free Jump Start trial bag. You just cover shipping. Use discount code Armstrong to claim your free Jump start trial bag@rough greens.com.

[Joe Getty]

rough Greens is charmingly named R U F or spelled, I should say ruff greens.com use that promo code Armstrong. Don't change your dog's food. Just add rough greens and watch the health benefits come, come alive. Do we have time for this? No, we do not. I will tell you this though. The fatwa against Rushdie was much, much, much, much more than a bunch of religious extremists who are mad at an author. Its significance, its ripples continue today. And it was a signal we should have heeded. Yeah, it's way back in the day and never forgotten.

[Jack Armstrong]

I read his memoir last year and I kept having that moment. I was like, how was this not a bigger deal at the time? Am I hit with this headline? We'll get to later. Florida mom with face tattoo Miles in mugshot after allegedly trying to murder sister.

[Joe Getty]

I think I can top that one.

[Jack Armstrong]

Okay. It's a pretty good story.

[Joe Getty]

Big murder trial going on. I mean, this one's wild and woolly.

[Jack Armstrong]

Okay, so. And how about that drone threat on California? That was a big story all day yesterday.

[Joe Getty]

California or the whole West Coast?

[Jack Armstrong]

As a whole west coast, I guess.

[Joe Getty]

Well, right, yeah. My God, man, what the hell is going on? Listeners all over the There are people in Portland right now, in Seattle, who are completely unaware of the practically non existent threat.

[Jack Armstrong]

I feel like la. Such a target. San Francisco Sodomy.

[Joe Getty]

So much sodomy.

[Jack Armstrong]

Anyway, we got all that stuff on the way. Stay here.

[Joe Getty]

Armstrong and Gettysburg. This episode is brought to you by Spreaker, the platform responsible for a rapidly spreading condition known as podcast brain. Symptoms include buying microphones you don't need, explaining RSS feeds to confused relatives, and saying things like, sorry, I can't talk right now, I'm editing audio. If this sounds familiar, you're probably already a podcaster. The good news is Spreaker makes the whole process simple. You record your show, upload it once, and Spreaker distributes it everywhere. People listen. Apple podcasts, Spotify, and about a dozen apps your cousin swears are the next big thing. Even better, Spreaker helps you monetize your show with ads, meaning your podcast might someday pay for, well, more microphones. Start your show [e-mail] spreaker because if you're going to talk to yourself for an hour, you might as well publish it.

[Jack Armstrong]

The book to read on this topic is called Joseph Anton. I read it a couple of years ago by Salman Rushdie. That's the name he lived under, not a pseudonym he wrote under. Because he wanted to have a cool pen name. No, it's the name he hid from murderous Islamic thugs. He had to live under that name for many, many years, away from his kids and wife and all of his friends for fear of being killed by Islamists because of a book he wrote.

[Joe Getty]

Right? Jonathan Rosen wrote a brilliant piece for the Free Press that really made an impression on me. And he talks about the very things Jack mentioned. And he remembers hearing about the fatwa. He had recently dropped out of graduate school. He was a writer himself, and he said it seemed absurd that a best selling novelist, born in India, living in London, famous around the world, might be murdered because the octogenarian ruler of an Islamist theocracy thousands of miles away had called for his head like the Red Queen shouting off with their heads in Alice in Wonderland. And then he said, and though the Ayatollah died four months later, it soon became apparent that Rushdie's novel was no match for a Few sentences read over the radio, calling on, quote, all valiant Muslims, wherever they may be, to kill the author of the Satanic Verses and anyone else who helped bring his blasphemous book into the world. And there's a lot more to this, and I'm going to touch on it as time allows, but the takeaway for me was the calling card. The announcement by the Ayatollah on behalf of fundamentalist Islam is that, if you offend us, we will kill you and everyone you work with, wherever you are on earth till the end of time. Because we have that right.

[Jack Armstrong]

See the bombing last weekend in New York City. Bombing.

[Joe Getty]

Right, right. Which goes on. And he makes the point, among others, that Rushdie was persuaded to make a public apology in the early days of his death sentence, his forever global death sentence. And the dying Ayatollah fired back, quote, even if Salman Rushdie becomes the most pious man of all time, it is incumbent on every Muslim to employ everything he has, his life and his wealth, to send him to hell. That's fundamentalist Islam, folks. There it is. There it is.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, and what Rushdie couldn't believe,

[Joe Getty]

well,

[Jack Armstrong]

first of all, he got stabbed.

[Joe Getty]

What?

[Jack Armstrong]

Now, a couple of years ago, he got attacked on a stage by a Muslim lunatic. Almost died, lost his eye. And I haven't read Knife where he describes that whole thing because it sounds too gruesome for me. But back in the time of the fatwa, Rushdie was so amazed at how many governments, including his own, where he lived in Great Britain, made statements of, we shouldn't be offending Muslims. And that's, you know, we. We stand on the side of, you know, those.

[Joe Getty]

Respect.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yes, exactly.

[Joe Getty]

That sort of thing.

[Jack Armstrong]

They didn't take the side of free speech. They took the side of, let's not offend radical Muslims.

[Joe Getty]

Wow. I just asked you to, you know, get some of the garbage off your lawn, and you're gonna murder me. Now, I don't think the sin was asking, hey, any chance you'll clean that up? But, you know, I haven't come up with much to listen worth listening to in the past 30 years. I know, but one thing I. I used to say about Portland is they think they can passive their way out of this. And a lot of the Western world thought, and some still think, although, like, in Britain and France, they're waking up in a hurry. In Germany and Sweden and other places, they think they can passive their way out of fundamentalist Islam. It's a terrible, terrible mistake. But let me read just a little more of Rosen's piece. The question remains urgent even after the joint American and Israeli strikes on the early morning of February 28th to mark a new phase in the long war waged by the Islamic Republic of Iran, which came into the world chanting, death to America and Death to Israel. I have been thinking a great deal about the fatwa now that the murderous regime, the ayatollah founded in 1979, is teetering on the bloody brink. Because it may yet be that all of the proxies nurtured over the years by the Islamic Republic for its apocalyptic showdown with the Jewish state in the west, after all the billions spent on Islamist militias, ballistic missiles and global terrorism, plus half a trillion dollars on its nuclear weapons program in pursuit of its endless repeated aim of, quote, wiping Israel off the map. It is a few sentences read aloud on Radio Tehran, mere breath, that will remain its most successful method of exploring, exporting the Islamist revolution even after the murderous regime it created goes down. And again, this is several pages long. It's brilliantly written. We'll post it. I don't know if you'll get paywalled, but we'll post it in armstrongandgetty.com under Hot Links.

[Jack Armstrong]

You had two guys get beaten down in a really nice shopping area yesterday near here, San Jose, because they were speaking Hebrew and there's some Muslim fanatics around.

[Joe Getty]

Folks, we're all Salman Rushdie, Armstrong and Getty.

[Jack Armstrong]

The New York Post will not let up on the fact that the Supreme Leader, the new Supreme Leader, can't get an erection. That has been their story now for a week. And particularly, apparently the guy spent time in the hospital to try to deal with the fact that he couldn't get it up enough to impregnate his wife so that they could have a male heir. Because he needed to have a male heir. As you can see, he's now the Supreme Leader because his dad was. It's like, you know, the Middle Ages over there.

[Joe Getty]

Sure.

[Jack Armstrong]

But anyway, so the new Supreme Leader put out a statement, like, an hour or so ago. We'll get into that a little bit later. But their headline in the California Post is Soft Launch Iran's Supreme Leader Puts Out.

[Joe Getty]

Wow. I'm not sure that's fundamental to what's happening. Well, maybe it is. I don't know.

[Jack Armstrong]

Okay, we got a little game show, this very, very silly game show thing we're gonna do here coming up. But we're gonna play a sound, and you gotta guess what the sound is. Okay? So that's coming up in just a little bit.

[Joe Getty]

But first, it's gonna be a tough one. Yeah, I'm gonna have to listen very carefully.

[Jack Armstrong]

But first, seriousness.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, yeah. Just a quick follow up on the Salman Rushdie fatwa thing. If you're not familiar with the history of the to point out that 10 days after the Ayatollah Khomeini issued the fatwa, two bookstores in Berkeley, California were firebombed. Both had been selling the Satanic Verses, one of the author's favorites.

[Jack Armstrong]

Bookstores pulled it off the shelves, the publisher yanked it all over Salman Rushdie couldn't believe that everybody caved to the Ayatollah's threats rather than saying no, dammit, free speech. This is a Western society. We will write and read whatever the hell we want. No, that's not how the world reacted. The world reacted with fear and, you know, helped give these nut jobs the idea that they could boss us all around. And that's why they've been bossed us around for 50 years.

[Joe Getty]

If you didn't hear the last segment, number one, get it via podcast Armstrong and gettyondemand. And secondly, just a very brief recap. We were talking about how the fatwa against Russia was really a calling card to the world from fundamentalist Islam before anybody understood what it was. And how a lot of Western governments thought we'll passive our way, just don't anger the Muslims, they thought, and we'll be okay. But anyway, so you had those firebombings in Berkeley, California. Rushdie's Japanese translator was stabbed to death in 1991 outside the University in Tokyo where he taught. Rushdie's Italian translator had been stabbed in Milan the week before but survived. In October 1993, his Norwegian publisher was shot in Oslo and though gravely wounded, survived. Aziz Nazin, a Turkish editor and intellectual who had announced his intention to translate the Satanic Verses into Turkish, narrowly escaped being burned alive in July of 93 when his hotel in eastern Turkey was torched by an angry mob after the artists, musicians and writers inside refused to send out the 78 year old Nessen to be murdered. 37 people died in the fire. He was helped down a ladder by firefighters who began beating him once they realized who he was. And someone cried, this is the devil we should have really killed. And there's more. But yeah, that was the calling card of fundamentalist Islam. This is how we are, this is what we do. You will bow before us.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, and then just a couple of years ago, Rushdie himself was almost stabbed to death. Forty years after that book came out Is it longer?

[Joe Getty]

Yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

Crazy. Yeah. So they have a memory for this sort of thing.

[Joe Getty]

Well, so probably a little transition music is necessary here, Michael. In fact, I'm not sure it's ever been more necessary. Little Soviet era transition music appropriate to the time we were discussing. Do you know.

[Jack Armstrong]

You probably don't know this, do you, Katie? You've been too new to this show to know this transition music. This is a fascinating story. We should. We should show you the video. It was a hit song in the Soviet Union. The song had words, but the Soviet communist government thought the words were too, too love song. They're too much for society. They couldn't handle. So they had to turn this hit

[Joe Getty]

song into La la la la la

[Jack Armstrong]

to get past the communist government.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, wow. No, I think they actually tried a couple of times in the. The review board or whatever. It always said, nope, still not good enough. They. Well, for the sake of the show,

[Jack Armstrong]

I'm kind of happy they did that.

[Joe Getty]

Great transition music.

[Jack Armstrong]

So the guy would sing this on, you know, variety shows as a hit song with no words because the Communist party doesn't think we should have words.

[Joe Getty]

Good grief. I know.

[Jack Armstrong]

Isn't that crazy? Yeah, that is okay.

[Joe Getty]

Zoron Manadami got elected in New York City. All right.

[Jack Armstrong]

Okay. Try to identify this song. You can't. I mean, this sound. Try to identify the sound. You can't. I might just tell you right off the bat. You're gonna guess wrong.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, you've ruined the game.

[Jack Armstrong]

But try to guess. Ready?

[Joe Getty]

Ready. Oh, please, God, be careful.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, come undone.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, my God, he's doing it. That's it. Oh, my God.

[Jack Armstrong]

What was the grunting about? Why was that guy grunting?

[Joe Getty]

50 year old John Stevenson, a kickbox boxer, proved he had balls of steel after becoming the first in the UK or probably anywhere else to pull a car using just his testicles.

[Jack Armstrong]

Is that what you guessed, Katie? That was spot. Actually, I was spot on.

[Joe Getty]

I thought it was a pickup truck. I thought it was a guy pulling a pickup truck with his testicles.

[Jack Armstrong]

I thought it was a guy pulling a train with his tongue. But I was close, but just not right.

[Joe Getty]

And you? He munched on a bag of nuts while completing his challenge. He joked afterwards, quote, when I'd finished, my plums were bright purple, but I'm still firing on all cylinders.

[Jack Armstrong]

How did it not just yank them off? In the way that I. In the way that I have participated in castrating hogs.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, Lord. The details are unerrable. He is trying. He was trying to raise Awareness of men's mental health issues.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, that's.

[Joe Getty]

Well, he did.

[Jack Armstrong]

So you say he's the third person to pull his testicles?

[Joe Getty]

No, it turns out he's the first person to pull a car in the UK with his testicles. But Jack, an excellent question. Whether you realized it or not, using your genitals to pull a vehicle isn't a new concept. Chinese qui gong Master Tu Jinshang has earned himself the nickname of Iron Crotch for his displays of penile power. Iron Crunch Kung fu master Yi Hong Wei went to even greater lengths to pull a five ton military helicopter. But there's no record of it ever being done in the UK before.

[Jack Armstrong]

Okay, I. Do you work up to it? Like, do I start with lightweights and work up to it? Start with like 2 pound dumbbells and kind like move up to a kettlebell and then. Exactly. Then I'm pulling maybe, I don't know, a bicycle.

[Joe Getty]

His sister Sherry was among those who turned out to cheer for his latest feat. She said, quote, it was amazing. It was bizarre to watch. But we're all really proud of him. Oh, I'm sure.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, yeah, you got to be super proud. What's the apparatus that attaches to you?

[Joe Getty]

What is that, like some sort of silk scarf?

[Jack Armstrong]

Like a lasso around

[Joe Getty]

all of this?

[Jack Armstrong]

Sounds like a terrible idea.

[Joe Getty]

It's a long orange, like scarf looking.

[Jack Armstrong]

How do you not just end up garrotted?

[Joe Getty]

I don't know, Castrated like a goat? Yeah. You've got to fashion exactly the right kind of knot.

[Jack Armstrong]

Do you remember when I. Boy, this is. I don't know. I don't know if anybody wants to hear this.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, boy. Do you remember when I.

[Jack Armstrong]

Probably not. You remember when I brought that tool in and I ask everybody what this is?

[Joe Getty]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

And it was for castrating male goats. And it's an interesting piece of handheld equipment. And you put rubber bands around it and then when you squeeze it, it opens up the rubber bands into a big circle. And then you put that around the junk of the goat and then you slide it off the piece of equipment. And then the rubber bands go tight around the bottom underneath the testes. And then eventually it just cuts off the blood circulation and the testes just drop off.

[Joe Getty]

Handy.

[Jack Armstrong]

And then having observed it myself, owls fly in and grab the testicles and fly off with them, Delighted with their find.

[Joe Getty]

Well, you know, it's circle of life or something.

[Jack Armstrong]

My life is better now that I know that. Yeah. It's interesting though. I love your version of show and TELL is bringing in a castration tool.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. Yeah, no kidding. Well, I knew most people in the Middle Ages.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, I knew most people wouldn't be able to guess what that was.

[Joe Getty]

No, you were right on that. Not to turn this serious because I do everything. That's why I'm rarely invited to gatherings. The grit and reality of farm life, which used to be known damn near universally among Americans, is now so distant. Most people's lives are so, you know, sterile and, no pun intended, not intended. So, you know, sterile and safe and careful and, you know, life and death and where meat comes from and all, it's.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's just.

[Joe Getty]

We all pretend it's not happening.

[Jack Armstrong]

I've told this story before. My.

[Joe Getty]

I hope it's every bit as good as the last one. Do owls eat anybody's balls in this one?

[Jack Armstrong]

I'm from small town Kansas. I had a girlfriend from small town Nebraska. She was even from a smaller town than me. And their field trip that they did in grade school was they walked down the street in this town of 300 people, they walked down the street to the butcher where they had a steer standing in the back room and the guy shot the steer in front of the kids and then butchered it so the kids would understand where meat came from.

[Joe Getty]

And how old were these kids?

[Jack Armstrong]

This was not in 1898. This would have been in. See, she was five years younger than me. So this would have been in the late 70s, I guess this around 1980.

[Joe Getty]

Wow.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, shoot. I think fifth grade, she said, wow, fifth grade, shoot a steer in front of you. They probably didn't do that in the Bay Area of California, did they, Katie? No, I did not go on that field trip.

[Joe Getty]

It have to shoot the gender bread person and butcher him or them. They. Them.

[Jack Armstrong]

So do you think it's meaningful in any way that we're further away from the. From that grit? Do we need to be? I mean, we're further away from other really, really gritty things from the Middle Ages that I think we're probably better off for.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. In Dave Grossman's book on killing, which is really an interesting read, even if you don't agree with every bit of it, he talks about how we've become so distant from death because it used to be 99% of people died in their home with the family around and the rest of it. And you'd call the undertaker and everything, but everybody understood that Grandpa's passed and now they're going to take his body and his soul is with God or whatever, and Animals were frequently slaughtered in the yard, and then they were on your plate an hour later or whatever. And we've gotten so far from that. We've kind of fetishized death in a weird way. It's distant, but we're obsessed with it. And I'm not doing a good job of explaining, but perhaps I've sold a book or two.

[Jack Armstrong]

Or is it the flip side that we value life more? Is that the case or no?

[Joe Getty]

That's an interesting question. By God. Response required by God.

[Jack Armstrong]

But life was cheap in a lot of parts of the world for and still is, where it just doesn't seem to have hardly any meaning whatsoever. So here's the question. If your brother. You find out your brother's gonna pull some heavy object with his testicles, do you tell the news anchor, I'm so proud of him?

[Joe Getty]

I don't know.

[Jack Armstrong]

I don't know.

[Joe Getty]

Depends if he succeeds or fails. I mean, if he, like, chickens out or gives up when, you know, the, the, the thousands of pounds of pressure are applied.

[Jack Armstrong]

What if they just proud of him, pull right off? I think I would pretend I didn't know him.

[Joe Getty]

He's trying to draw attention to men's mental health, Jack.

[Jack Armstrong]

Just kind of do the Homer Simpson back into the Bush thing. Exactly.

[Joe Getty]

I don't know this guy. Good job. Good job. Okay, more on the way.

[Jack Armstrong]

Next.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, my God, he's doing it. Armstrong and Getty

[Jack Armstrong]

towards the big investigator.

[Joe Getty]

But you have a lot of things, Things happening, and all we can do

[Jack Armstrong]

is take them as they come.

[Joe Getty]

We know where most of them are. We've got our eye on all of them. I think.

[Jack Armstrong]

So That's Donald Trump yesterday talking about sleeper cells, Iranian sleeper cells across the country, that he says, we have our eye on them. All of them, we think, which. That was a question asked out of the news floating around throughout the day of this threat of a drone attack on. I guess it was specifically California drone attacks on California by the Iranians. But that. That story was from back in February. Why it just erupted yesterday and then became chatter. I'm not exactly sure. I don't know if that was on. I don't know if it just reached the media somehow or if somebody put leaked that out on purpose to have a, you know, get people's attention. Hey, this is serious. I don't know. I don't know.

[Joe Getty]

It does have a bit of a rally round the flag feel to it, but it's so hard to say.

[Jack Armstrong]

One other thing before we get to the Supreme Leader making his first statement well, not really, but Ian Bremmer tweeted out the Straits of Hormuz aren't completely closed. Iranian tankers are still passing through, bringing oil to China and oil revenue to the Islamic Republic. Yeah, the Wall Street Journal had the story that Iran is actually exporting more war oil than they were before the war started. Ian writes the United States could stop them, but that would antagonize China and further escalate the war. So here we are. That's an interesting one. So China gets 70% of its energy from other places. Thank God we are not in that situation. But so we think it would antagonize China if we stopped the oil shipments from Iran. Boy, this is a delicate balance we got going here. Anyway, Iran's new Supreme Leader. This is the way this went down. So apparently I had it backwards in my head. So first the rumors were floating around the Middle east that he is in a coma. So that story was first the story that the supreme leaders got. He's in a coma, had his leg amputated and is badly hurt. That story has been floating around, I guess Iran. So then they put out this. No, he here his a statement from the Supreme Leader and then they put out a written statement read on Iranian state TV without any explanation of why he was not on camera or you weren't hearing his voice.

[Joe Getty]

Right.

[Jack Armstrong]

Which is a little. Who's that for the Iranian people? I don't know.

[Joe Getty]

I need proof of life. Yeah, he says he's alive.

[Jack Armstrong]

Iran's new Supreme Leader allegedly released his first statement today vowing to use the lever of closing the Strait of Hormuz to international energy shipping after reports circulated that he was in a coma and had his leg amputated from those strikes that killed his dad and pretty much all of his family. No explanation provided for why the 56 year old did not appear or read out his purported words. We are in the audio business. We know very well that recording somebody at this point in world history is effortless. If you own a phone, if you own a computer, if you've got anything, you could record somebody's voice. Now, it is possible that they're just so concerned about somehow it being tracked to his location because hiding him is going to be of the utmost importance, Israel or us, we're going to kill him the first chance we get.

[Joe Getty]

I wonder what security protocols he does have in place right now. Because for instance, you could put your phone on airplane mode, record his message, hand courier it somewhere else and then broadcast it with never connecting to the Internet. But I wonder if they just don't even want to see a courier coming and going from wherever he is.

[Jack Armstrong]

Right.

[Joe Getty]

They think we're watching from the clouds, and we are.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, they got to be pretty paranoid.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, yeah, yeah. After the first couple of rounds of snuffins, yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. But to not have a picture at all or hear the voice when you're trying to show that you're still alive, that's not usually the way it works. Yeah, maybe it isn't a coma.

[Joe Getty]

So many question marks about what's next, what we can do, what we probably will do. We'll have Mike Lyons on in just a couple of minutes. Hope you can hang around. If you can't podcast Armstrong, you get on demand.

[Jack Armstrong]

One of my main questions for Mike Lyons is because I don't understand this. How can we not take out whatever Iran has that's allowing it to fire on these ships? They hit five ships yesterday. Tankers trying to go through the Strait of Hormuz. How can we not take that out? I want to hear what Mike's explanation for that is.

[Joe Getty]

Armstrong and Gettysburg.