You're Exactly Right

Summary

Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: "You're Exactly Right" (May 8, 2026)

---

Episode Overview

In this episode, Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty tackle a diverse set of topics, blending their signature humor with sharp commentary on current events and cultural phenomena. They examine the media’s obsession with UFO “disclosures,” parody a New York Times interview with Tucker Carlson, dissect Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s views on billionaires, and delve into the story behind the mass beagle rescue making national news. The hosts also reflect on personal topics like parenthood, pet loss, and even men’s cologne. Throughout, the conversation alternates between wit, skepticism, and genuine engagement with the issues.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Release of UFO Photos and Media Sensationalism

Timestamps: 03:20 – 04:01, 11:36 – 11:59

• The New York Times reviews newly-public UFO photos, but the hosts mock the coverage and skepticism around unexplained “strangely shaped objects.”
• Jack Armstrong: “Who’s this for? Ten year old boy? Ten year old me. Other than that, who’s interested in this?” (04:03)
• Commentary on why UFO stories keep hitting the news cycle, questioning their newsworthiness and poking fun at recurring alien mania.

2. "Clips of the Week" and Political Satire

Timestamps: 04:50 – 07:13

• A collection of audio snippets lampooning current political discourse, media coverage, and notable statements.
• Includes satirical impressions (notably the parody of NYT interviewing Tucker Carlson), and soundbites on American political culture.

3. The Billionaire Debate: Can You Earn a Billion Dollars?

Timestamps: 07:17 – 13:06, 41:02 – 43:56

• Armstrong & Getty respond to Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s assertion that “you can’t earn a billion dollars”, discussing the cultural and economic implications.
• AOC (via clips): “You can’t earn a billion dollars... you just can’t earn that.” (07:59, 41:13)
• Joe: “That is exactly correct,”—sarcastically echoing the sentiment (07:59).
• Armstrong questions whether people who dislike billionaires are simply taught to resent wealth or are “wired that way.”
• They argue that successful figures like Musk, Spielberg, Taylor Swift, Jordan, etc. did in fact earn their fortunes.
• Quote, Jack: “I don't care if Elon Musk ends up with $2 trillion... I assume if he ends up with $2 trillion, it’s because he did enough things that produced enough products that people wanted to buy.” (10:00)

4. Parody: Tucker Carlson and NYT

Timestamps: 18:44 – 23:04

• Comedy segment by Amy Kozak, impersonating both Tucker Carlson and the NYT interviewer, lampoons political interviews and media personalities.
• Highlights the absurdity of media spin, with surreal exchanges about President Trump, Turning Point USA, and J.D. Vance.
• Memorable Line:
  • “I think it’s possible Donald Trump might be a wizard.” (20:10; Kozak as Tucker)
  • “That’s not our president—that’s Gandalf. Gandalf the White. And there’s nothing wrong with being white, by the way.” (20:13)

5. The 1,500 Beagle Rescue: The Real Story

Timestamps: 26:35 – 36:46

• Popular coverage frames the beagle rescue as a feel-good animal adoption story, but Armstrong & Getty pull back the curtain.
• The dogs were taken from a controversial Wisconsin research facility, not simply “rescued” but liberated by animal rights activists led by attorney Wayne Hsiang.
• Details abuses—including eye surgeries without anesthetic and parasite testing—that motivated the break-in, dubbed an “open rescue.”
• Joe Getty: “Following allegations of abuse, a 2026 investigation... revealed dogs suffered in cruel experiments, including eye surgeries performed without anesthetic.” (28:20)
• Commentary on the aftermath: public sympathy and a flood of adoption applications—contrasted with the overlooked plight of countless adoptable pets languishing in shelters.
• Brief digression into their own experiences adopting dogs from shelters, the harsh reality of pet overpopulation and euthanasia.
• Armstrong: “Most people have as many dogs as they want. Most people don’t want a dog at all... That’s just the reality.” (34:55)

6. Parenting, Work-Life Balance, and Personal Anecdotes

Timestamps: 12:14 – 13:23, 47:44 – 47:58

• Reflection on parenting schedules, sacrifices, and the bittersweet moments of parenthood.
• Armstrong muses about the difficulty of finding personal fun amid parental obligations.
• Getty shares about the recent loss of his dog and the emotional challenge of donating pet belongings to shelters.

7. Banter: Men's Cologne, Chanel Number Five, & Perfume Culture

Timestamps: 44:00 – 46:48

• Armstrong brings up a newspaper article on men’s cologne, triggers a tangent about Chanel No. 5 and scent marketing.
• Explains the painstaking (and possibly mythologized) process behind the legendary perfume.
• Jack: “Roughly 1,000 jasmine blossoms go into a small bottle... There’s all kinds of different stuff that they do that is either real or completely imaginary salesmanship.” (45:18–45:34)
• Joe recounts humorous family stories involving a grandmother wearing “opium” perfume.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On UFO Coverage:

  • Jack: “Murky still images that could be anything. In one, a cluster of dots... In another, some strangely shaped objects.” (03:46)
  • Joe: “The truth is out there.” (03:55)
  • Jack: “I got some strangely shaped objects for you.” (04:01)

• On Billionaires:

  • Jack: “I don’t care if Elon Musk ends up with $2 trillion. I don’t feel like it’s taken from me.” (10:00)

• On Pet Overpopulation:

  • Jack: “Nobody needs another puppy, right? Most people have as many dogs as they want... that’s just the reality of the world of dogs and cats.” (34:55)

• On Media Narratives:

  • Joe: “That bent nosed jackass, David Muir, portrayed it as just a feel good story about lots of beagles and lots of people who want to love them... although that part is true, certainly.” (32:58)

• On Absurdist Political Rhetoric:

  • Parody (Amy Kozak as Carlson): “Trump might be a wizard.” (20:10)
  • Parody (Kozak as NYT): “So, you literally believe President Donald Trump might be Gandalf from Lord of the Rings?” (20:12)

---

Useful Timestamps for Key Segments

• UFO Story Debunking: 03:20 – 04:25, 37:05
• AOC Billionaire Clip & Reaction: 07:17 – 11:36; reprise at 41:02
• Tucker & NYT Parody: 18:44 – 23:04
• Beagle Rescue Deep Dive: 26:35 – 36:46
• Personal Pet & Adoption Stories: 31:05 – 36:46
• Cologne & Chanel No. 5 Segment: 44:00 – 46:48
• Final Thoughts & Parenting Anecdotes: 47:19 – 47:58

---

Conclusion

This episode of Armstrong & Getty is quintessentially their style: satirical, occasionally biting, but often thoughtful about real issues behind splashy headlines. Whether breaking down the realities of animal rescue, critiquing populist economic arguments, or riffing on pop culture oddities, the hosts blend skepticism and humor, making even heavy topics both accessible and entertaining. This episode is especially recommended for those who value media critique, cultural commentary, and a side of irreverent banter.

Transcript

[Sponsor Announcer]

This is an iHeart podcast.

Guaranteed Human Most Mother's Day gifts end up in a drawer, but a song lives in the heart forever. This year tryjoybox.com is giving away 1 million free custom songs to celebrate 1 million incredible moms. Just share a few memories and joy. Box produces an original track and greeting card just for her instantly. It's the most personal gift you'll ever give, and right now it's completely free. Make mom the star of her own song at tryjoybox.com 1 million songs 0 to dollars [e-mail] Support for the show

comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public, you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index. With AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors, llc. SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete Disclosure is available at public.com disclosures

are you trying to get weight loss support through telehealth? But it feels overwhelming and rushed? Check out orderlymeds.com now. Orderlymeds.com was built to be different. Here you connect with real doctors who take the time to understand your goals, review your eligibility and guide you through a plan that's right for you. Orderly Meds provides access to proven GLP1 medications like semaglutide and Tirzepatide, including both name brand options and personalized compound versions when appropriate. So you have choices backed by clinical oversight not yet work. It's a simpler, more supportive telehealth experience designed around people who want clarity, care and confidence in their weight loss journey. And your medication is delivered directly to your home in discreet packaging so your experience stays private from start to finish. Do your research, ask the right questions, then visit orderlymeds.com podcast for an exclusive offer. Again, that's orderlymeds.com podcast. Individual results may vary. Not medical advice eligibility required. See Cite for details.

Do you want to find a stress free way to buy your next car? Start at CarMax and shop your way. If you want to browse with confidence, get pre qualified online with no impact on your credit score and shop cars within your budget. From luxury cars to family rides, CarMax has options for almost every price range, including more than 25,000 cars priced under $25,000. So hey, want to get started? Just head to CarMax.com for details and get pre qualified today.

[Jack Armstrong]

Want to drive CarMax?

[Joe Getty]

Broadcasting live from the Abraham Lincoln Radio studio at the George Washington Broadcast Center, Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty.

Armstrong and Getty.

[Jack Armstrong]

And now here's Armstrong and Getty. The New York Times has had a chance to review the just released UFO photos. Never before for seen by the public pictures of identified flying objects. The New York Times says the initial files are murky still images that could be anything. In one, a cluster of dots appear on the screen. And another there are some strangely shaped objects.

[Joe Getty]

The truth is out there.

[Jack Armstrong]

I like that sentence. In another photo there are some strangely shaped objects.

[Joe Getty]

I got some strangely shaped objects for you.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, come over here. Oh boy. Why does this always make the news? Who's this for? 10 year old boy? 10 year old me. Other than that, who's interested in this?

[Joe Getty]

I know I miss the gatekeepers.

[Jack Armstrong]

No kidding.

[Joe Getty]

Meet the Beagles. The giant beagle liberation movement that happened in the last couple of days. I want to talk about that at least a little bit. Plus a very, very funny parody of the New York Times recent interview with Tucker Carlson. Stay tuned for all of that and much, much more. But first let's take a fond look back at the week that was. It's Cal Clips of the week. Yeah, look, I mean my hope for

[Comedian Amy Kozak (as NYT interviewer and Tucker Carlson)]

America is what it's always been.

[Joe Getty]

I think it's the hope I hope we all share. We want it to continue to be the place where anyone from anywhere can achieve anything.

[Comedian Amy Kozak (as NYT interviewer and Tucker Carlson)]

Councilman Robin's plan for treatment.

[Joe Getty]

First, I will go below the Harbor Freeway tomorrow with her and we can find some of these people she's going

[Jack Armstrong]

to offer treatment for.

[Joe Getty]

She's going to get stabbed in the nec.

Will F. Trump be your guiding principle in dealing with the President?

[Political Commentator]

Donald Trump sucks.

[Jack Armstrong]

Americans expressing growing concern about President Trump's

[Joe Getty]

job performance and the President underwater on every issue tested.

They should check themselves before they wreck themselves.

President Trump said today that the conflict with Iran is going very well.

[Comedian Amy Kozak (as NYT interviewer and Tucker Carlson)]

We know Iran is embarrassed by the

[Jack Armstrong]

fact that our blockade is holy.

[Sponsor Announcer]

We have absolute control of the street.

[Joe Getty]

Operation Epic Fury is concluded.

Central Command describes the American strikes as self defense.

[Comedian Amy Kozak (as NYT interviewer and Tucker Carlson)]

In an interview with me tonight, President

[Jack Armstrong]

Trump called them something else, a love tap.

[Joe Getty]

If there's no ceasefire, you're not going to have to know.

[Jack Armstrong]

You're just going to have to look

[Joe Getty]

at one big blow coming out of Iran.

[Comedian Amy Kozak (as NYT interviewer and Tucker Carlson)]

They're insane in the brain.

[Jack Armstrong]

This is the purported suicide note that his former cellmate claims Jeffrey Epstein left behind. What you want me to do? No fun, not worth it.

[Joe Getty]

Federal judge is criticizing the current conditions

[Political Commentator]

for the accused gunman of the White House Correspondent's Dinner.

[Joe Getty]

At a minimum, I should be apologizing to him. We are obliged to make sure that

[Jack Armstrong]

he's taken care of.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Could this be the Antichrist?

[Comedian Amy Kozak (as NYT interviewer and Tucker Carlson)]

I actually did not say could this be the Antichrist?

[Sponsor Announcer]

Could this be the Antichrist?

[Comedian Amy Kozak (as NYT interviewer and Tucker Carlson)]

I don't know where that comes from. U.S. department of Homeland Security's X account

[Jack Armstrong]

was set up using an IP address from Israel. Using an Android app purchased in Israel.

[Political Commentator]

You can't earn a billion dollars.

[Joe Getty]

That's right.

[Political Commentator]

You just can't earn that.

[Joe Getty]

That's exactly correct.

We now have a scientific technological. System by which we can take your urine and ship it to us and we'll be able to turn extract the gold minerals out of your.

It's clips of the week.

We ought to play the other AOC clip that's gone so viral from that same interview in which she explains that it's impossible to earn a billion dollars. You have to have stolen it. I can do it now. It's a lot of audio. What do you think? You want to hear it?

[Jack Armstrong]

Sure, yeah.

[Joe Getty]

Why not?

[Political Commentator]

74 Michael There are very few like real archetypes of, in my opinion, truly what America is all about. I think about the civil rights and voting rights movement and how black Americans really created democracy in this country.

[Sponsor Announcer]

That's right.

[Joe Getty]

That's exactly right.

[Political Commentator]

How they literally made something from nothing, it is just beyond me. I think about how like native people have survived and preserved and treasured their culture. I think about, and I think many of us think about immigrants, which if you aren't from one of those first two populations, you are certainly from largely the third. And so many of us like have our story of our parents, our grandparents, our great great grandparents and so on and so forth and who like and make something from nothing. And I think that's A big part of. Also the most inspiring elements of what America is all about.

[Joe Getty]

Wow. Checked plenty of boxes, but couldn't squeeze in the trans crowd. Black people. Made democracy out of nothing. She's an ignoramus.

[Jack Armstrong]

So her whole thing about you can't become a billionaire without stealing from people

[Joe Getty]

or breaking laws, it's impossible. That is right. That is complete. That is exactly right. The host said.

[Jack Armstrong]

Who's she doing the interview with? Who says you're right all the time?

[Joe Getty]

You're exactly right.

[Jack Armstrong]

Anyway, that, that whole you can't become a billionaire thing is really interesting to me. I just wonder if she actually believes that.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

And this and this cutoff that we use, you know, from what is it, 10 figures to 12 or whatever, but you know, 100 millionaires get a pass. But if you cross the line into billionaire, you're a different class because we like round numbers. Even though a billion dollars today would be 580 billion in the year 2000, that's how much inflation has happened.

[Joe Getty]

Come up with an idea so lunatic that it couldn't be included in a political movement. It's impossible. Getting swept up with fervor causes people to say and do things that are utterly loony.

[Jack Armstrong]

I don't know. I guess, I guess it's the household you're raised in. Nobody fully knows the answer to this question. If it's something about the way your brain is wired or entirely what your parents taught you or whatever. But I just have never been bothered by the existence of billionaires. Whereas clearly some people, and I know some of them are just mad every day that they're billionaires on Earth. You think that's just learned or you wired that way or it doesn't bother me. I don't care if Elon Musk ends up with $2 trillion. I don't feel like it's taken from me. I assume if he ends up with $2 trillion, it's because he did enough things that produced enough products that people wanted to buy that made him that much money. How does that hurt me?

[Joe Getty]

Are there some boards of directors that are kind of incestuous with each other and vote each other money and that sort of thing.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, oh, no doubt.

[Joe Getty]

Sort of thing goes on and. And maybe the money changers who own Congress get the laws crafted in ways that benefit themselves. I get that.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, no doubt.

[Joe Getty]

The idea that if you have an idea so good, 500 million people want to give you $50 that you shouldn't get that money.

[Jack Armstrong]

Why.

[Joe Getty]

But again, that's self evident to me.

[Jack Armstrong]

Especially when we got unexplained flying objects out there that could be anything. Murky pictures of, could be anything. Strange shapes, strangely shaped objects. Do the math. Caught on film. Do the math. My high school is really into the X Files right now. Oh, I've never seen one minute of one episode of the X Files.

[Joe Getty]

Sam or Henry?

[Jack Armstrong]

Sam. My 16 year old, my sophomore Judy

[Joe Getty]

and I watched every single episode ever made many of them twice.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, I know a lot of people love it. I probably would too. I just have never got around it. But he's man, he's into it.

[Joe Getty]

Go to your YouTube or something. Get your list of the 10 best episodes of the X Files and just enjoy them.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, I never made it through Breaking Bad. I kind of tried to start that the other day. I just don't have a lifestyle currently. Maybe when my kids are grown. I just don't have a lifestyle currently where I can do that.

[Joe Getty]

But I remember that, that point in my life where every single minute I was acutely aware of I shouldn't be doing this. I don't have time for this.

[Jack Armstrong]

Right. I've got other things that are a higher priority.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. No damn fun, but satisfying in a lot of ways. Very.

[Jack Armstrong]

I, I worry constantly about when this goes away, what life is going to feel like.

[Joe Getty]

Utterly hollow. Kidding.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, it didn't before. My life didn't feel utterly hollow. Sometimes it did, but often it didn't. But I didn't have anything to compare it to. Now that I have something to compare it to.

[Joe Getty]

Some like shouting into an empty oil tanker.

[Jack Armstrong]

Hello, Hello, Hello. But the other day between like scouts, school, pickups, this that, you know, everybody is a parent has these experiences. But then we ended up with a doctor situation. We had to go to urgent care. We were there for three years at like 10 o'.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Clock.

[Jack Armstrong]

I finally was like, okay, what can I do that's fun for, for the day since I haven't done that one single thing that was a fun today and I'm too tired. I'll just go to bed.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, yeah, whatever. So very, very funny parody of the Tucker Carlson interview with the New York Times coming up. I hope you're as amused as I was.

[Jack Armstrong]

Still on this thing of if, if you were going to like self indulgently eat whatever the hell you want, you chose pizza.

[Joe Getty]

Am I limited to a single food or can I like like a condemned man, design an entire meal?

[Jack Armstrong]

I suppose you could design an entire meal. Although I think I would throw up. I mean, because I couldn't Eat a whole bunch of pizza and a milkshake. That'd be. Whoa.

[Joe Getty]

I'm going with pizza. A nice, I don't know, Italian red wine, a nice chiante classico or something like that. And. And then apple pie. Alamode.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, that's a pretty good meal right there.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, yeah. Yep.

[Jack Armstrong]

Michael, you have the diabetes, so this is probably very unfair to you. Yeah, it's okay.

[Joe Getty]

If I'm gonna go, you know, who cares?

[Jack Armstrong]

Pizza, and maybe, let's see, banana cream pie.

[Joe Getty]

Banana cream pie?

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

An esoteric pie, a fringe pie, if you will.

[Jack Armstrong]

I actually say to my kids, and I probably shouldn't, God will punish me for this, because as I mentioned last hour, when I. When I was going through chemotherapy and everything like that, the doctor told me, eat whatever you can eat. That sounds good. And it will, you know, stay in you and don't. This is no time to worry about a diet. And that was the only upside because I would just eat whatever the hell I wanted. So I. Sometimes I say to my kids, if I ever get cancer again, I'm eat a lot of that, which is just a terrible way to. I know. I don't know who I believe is like up there saying, oh, you mocking cancer, I'm gonna give it to you.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. I don't. I don't actually believe that's the way

[Jack Armstrong]

the universe works, but I. I'd prefer not to find out. Exactly. Okay, we got more on the way. Stay here.

[Joe Getty]

Armstrong and Getty.

I used to worry like crazy what would happen to my wife and kids if I wasn't there. It was such an enormous relief when I was properly insured and I knew that they would be okay if the worst happened. I want you to have that feeling too.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. Get peace of mind fast. Here. You can get a quote in seconds, apply in minutes, and get same day coverage. Ethos makes getting life insurance fast and easy. And it's a hundred percent online.

[Joe Getty]

There's no medical exam. You just answer a few simple health questions and you can get up to 3 million bucks in coverage. Some policies are as low as $30 a month.

[Jack Armstrong]

By the way, Ethos has a 4.8 out of 5 stars on Trustpilot with over 4, 000 reviews. So you can trust them and you

[Joe Getty]

will get the best rate from their network of trusted carriers. Take 10 minutes to get covered today with life insurance through Ethos. Get your free', @ethos.com Armstrong that is E T H O S.com Armstrong Application times may vary, rates may vary. Ethos.com Armstrong Most Mother's Day gifts end

[Sponsor Announcer]

up in a drawer, but a song lives in the heart forever. This year tryjoybox.com is giving away 1 million free custom songs to celebrate 1 million incredible moms. Just share a few memories and Joybox produces an original track and greeting card just for her. Instantly. It's the most personal gift you'll ever give, and right now it's completely free. Make mom the star of her own song at tryjoybox.com 1 million songs $0

[e-mail] Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index. With AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors, llc. SEC Registered Advisor. Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosure is available at public.com,

[Jack Armstrong]

when

[Sponsor Announcer]

people turn to telehealth for weight loss, they're looking for real support. That's why more people are choosing orderlymeds.com orderly meds connects you with real doctors and access to proven GLP1 medications like semaglutide and Tirzeptatide. No guessing, just a more supportive experience and all shipped directly to your door in discreet packaging. Do your research, ask questions, then visit orderlymeds.com podcast for an exclusive offer. That's orderlymeds.com podcast. Individual results may vary. Not medical advice. Eligibility required. See site for details.

[Joe Getty]

This is comedian Amy Kozak who is portraying both the New York Times interviewer and Tucker Carlson. He just changes wigs in the video. Enjoy.

[Comedian Amy Kozak (as NYT interviewer and Tucker Carlson)]

I want to talk about your relationship with the President and where it stands currently. When was the last time you were in the Oval Office A few months ago, I went to the Oval Office. I had gone several times, actually. Like a lot. Like a lot. And what did you see when you were there? You know, everybody knows this, but I'll just confirm it. Like, Bibi had been in there before me, and he probably had a gun to Trump's head.

[Joe Getty]

Really?

[Comedian Amy Kozak (as NYT interviewer and Tucker Carlson)]

Like an actual gun? Like a loaded weapon. You're saying Benjamin Netanyahu had a gun to his head and he had Donald Trump in a chokehold. And I know that Donald Trump had a wrestling background. He was involved at one point in the wwe, but clearly that didn't matter, like, at all. And Bibi had a gun to his head and said, we're going to Iran. We're doing this. And Trump was like, no. And you saw this with your own eyes. I mean, Washington insiders know this. They know this. Wait, so this happened or didn't happen? I mean, I wasn't in the room, but I imagine it was something like that was going on. I mean, you don't go to Washington multiple times without trying to influence the president for your agenda. But you went. I'm sorry, I'm confused. Okay, well, what is your assessment of President Trump currently? Well, I attempted to communicate with the President. I went outside into the forest, and I screamed and I screamed, don't do it. I don't know if that was effective. I don't know if he heard. I don't know if he could hear me, but. But I certainly tried to do that.

[Jack Armstrong]

I did.

[Comedian Amy Kozak (as NYT interviewer and Tucker Carlson)]

I think it's possible Donald Trump might be a wizard.

[Sponsor Announcer]

What?

[Comedian Amy Kozak (as NYT interviewer and Tucker Carlson)]

I do believe that. I do. What do you mean by that? Well, the last time I was at the Oval Office, I walked in, and at one point, the Chief of staff looked at me, and Donald Trump himself looked at me. He said, you shall not pass. And I thought, that's not our president. That's Gandalf. Gandalf the White. And there's nothing wrong with being white, by the way. I say that as a white person, as a man, as a Christian, but Trump might be a wizard. And so I understand you correctly, what you're saying is you literally believe President Donald Trump might be Gandalf from Lord of the Rings? I don't know, but we should be able to ask those questions, I think. Okay, moving on. What is your current relationship with Turning Point usa? Well, like, I've always loved TP usa. I've loved the organization. I've headlined many times. They didn't ask me to do it this year. And so that is what it is. But I've always participated in their events. I've never charged anything, by the way. I've always done it for free. And they always paid me. A lot. Like, a lot. Like, a lot. So I. And do you think TP usa, as an organization is in decline? I haven't the faintest idea. But, yes, I just have questions. Like, legitimate questions. And the moment you ask questions. Socialist, Communist, anti Semite. No, no, I just have legitimate questions. Like what happened to Charlie Kirk? Should capital be taxed at half the rate of labor? What's Bibi Netanyahu's father's middle name? Or if a demon rapes you without protection, should you get checked for STDs because it's itchy? Okay, tell me more about J.D.

[Jack Armstrong]

vance.

[Comedian Amy Kozak (as NYT interviewer and Tucker Carlson)]

Who is J.D. vance? J.D. vance, the vice. I mean, I know J.D. are letters. I mean, they're letters. J and D. I mean, J, people are gonna say Nazi J. But those are just letters to me. Those are just. Those are just letters of the Alphabet to me. You're telling me you don't know who J.D. vance is? I literally don't know who that is. Those words have never come out of my lips, actually. I've never uttered those words ever. And I've never. Tucker, look, I've watched you for years, okay? Way back during the cable news days when you had a show on. What show? Your television show. I've never had a show, like, at all. You had one of the highest rating television news programs. I've literally never uttered words out of my lips on television, like, ever. Like, that I can recall. I'm talking about the years when you were on Fox. What do you mean by Fox? Like, the animal? No, Fox News. I'm sorry. I only know Fox the Animal. I mean, I don't know what it sounds like, actually, like, at all.

[Jack Armstrong]

What does the Fox say?

[Comedian Amy Kozak (as NYT interviewer and Tucker Carlson)]

Tucker, are you okay? I've never been on tv. I don't. I don't know what this is.

[Jack Armstrong]

Where are we? Who are you? Who am I?

[Comedian Amy Kozak (as NYT interviewer and Tucker Carlson)]

What is this? What is this question? I have questions.

[Jack Armstrong]

Who am I? I don't know. Where are we?

[Comedian Amy Kozak (as NYT interviewer and Tucker Carlson)]

We should take a break. I'm John.

[Joe Getty]

You get the idea. That's how odd it's gotten.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. And it's not that many degrees off the reality. I mean, that interview that Tucker did with the New York Times where he states that. I never said that. Then the New York Times plays a clip of him on his show, obviously real, and he says, I don't know where you got that, but that's not me or I didn't say that or something.

[Joe Getty]

I never uttered those words.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, what are you talking about, dude?

[Joe Getty]

1200 beagles have caught America's attention.

[Jack Armstrong]

Jack, have you nailed down the behind this Story story on this? Oh yeah, you have. Okay, stay tuned.

[Joe Getty]

Ladies and gentlemen.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's an awful lot of beagles. That's like 10 dozen beagles.

[Joe Getty]

Armstrong and Getty.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Most Mother's Day gifts end up in a drawer, but a song lives in the heart forever. This year tryjoybox.com is giving away 1 million free custom songs to celebrate 1 million incredible moms. Just share a few memories and Joybox produces an original track and greeting card just for her instantly. It's the most personal gift you'll ever give. And right now it's completely free. Make mom the star of her own [e-mail] 1,000,000 songs $0 [e-mail] Support for

the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, opt crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index. With AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors llc. SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete Disclosures available at public.comDisclosures Are you

trying to get weight loss support through telehealth? But it feels overwhelming and rushed. Check out orderlymeds.com now. Orderlymeds.com was built to be different. Here you connect with real doctors who take the time to understand your goals, review your eligibility and guide you through a plan that's right for you. Orderly Meds provides access to proven GLP1 medications like semaglutide and Tirzepatide, including both name brand options and personalized compound versions when appropriate. So you have choices backed by clinical oversight, not guesswork. It's a simpler, more supportive telehealth experience designed around people who want clarity, care, and confidence in their weight loss. Journey.

[Jack Armstrong]

Journey.

[Sponsor Announcer]

And your medication is delivered directly to your home in discreet packaging so your experience stays private from start to finish. Do your research, ask the right questions, then visit orderlymeds.com podcast for an exclusive offer. Again, that's orderlymeds.com podcast. Individual results may vary. Not medical advice, eligibility required. See C site for details.

[Joe Getty]

Hi, I'm Cindy Crawford, and I'm the founder of Meaningful Beauty. Well, I don't know about you, but, like, I never liked being told, oh, wow, you look so good for your age. Like, why even bother saying that? Why don't you just say you look great at any age, Every age. That's what Meaningful Beauty is all about. We create products that make you feel confident in your skin at the age you are now. Meaningful Beauty. Beautiful skin at every age. Learn more@meaningful beauty.com.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Finally tonight, nothing but love for those beagles. Tonight, the remarkable effort to save the beagles. It was just last night here we reported on the staggering need. Authorities say some 1500 beagles have been removed from a Wisconsin research facility outside Madison. Animal rescue organizations say they saved them. Tonight, volunteers transporting the beagles by bus, by plane, the long line of volunteers holding the beagles. The nonprofits now looking for new homes for the dogs. And after our report, so many of you responded with donations and thousands of adoption applications.

[Jack Armstrong]

So I saw the original story in that they did it two nights in a row on ABC News. And until you brought me the whole story, I had no idea what was going on there. I thought it was like a research facility that closed down or something. I don't know that these beagles needed to be rescued, not that they broke it and took them.

[Joe Getty]

Well, they didn't. So the first episode, I'd missed the initial report the previous night. How did they present it?

[Jack Armstrong]

It's just kind of a generic. There are a whole bunch of beagles that need adopt this.

[Joe Getty]

Okay, so that's the way it struck me the second night. And having just read about this case, I was like, are you kidding? I mean, look, the evening news is. Is dopey and, and an anachronism. But the story is this beagle breeding facility in Wisconsin has been controversial for a very long time. They breed thousands of beagles for animal research purposes.

[Jack Armstrong]

My first dog was a beagle. So I have a particular affinity for beagles. Homer the Beagle. Beagle.

[Joe Getty]

My dad's first dog was a beagle too. And I actually did a little digging into what they were doing. Studies on pharmaceuticals for arthritis, heartworm, and vaccines for diseases like rabies and distemper. But following allegations of abuse, a 2026 investigation. Why, that's this year. Revealed dogs suffered in cruel experiments, including eye surgeries performed without anesthetic.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, my God.

[Joe Getty]

And testing involving parasite exposure.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, my God. My God.

[Joe Getty]

So the story in the Wall Street Journal was substantially about this Wayne Hsiang. I'm not sure how to pronounce his name. He's this attorney and can't remember what else he used to do. A turned activist who's just super into animal rights. And he developed this strategy that they used on this facility of an open rescue, they call it. They announced their plans. We're going to break into this facility and free the animals. Then they execute them in broad daylight, all but inviting arrest.

[Jack Armstrong]

This lets them execute the plans, not the beagles.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, yes, the plans, indeed. Yes, this lets them fight. That would their poor activists, if that's their plan. Anyway, this lets them fight the charges in court and on social media and argue publicly that they are saving, not stealing, animals. And this guy has hit dozens of facilities across the US but he's been on this beagle facility. Ridgeland Farms needs an E in there about 30 miles west of Madison. And I'm watching a video right now of hundreds and hundreds of beagles in cages, row after row after row. And I've got to admit, I think a lot of the animal rights stuff is overwrought and overdone. I don't think. I don't care particularly how much room a chicken has to live as it's laying eggs, but it's. It's. If you love dogs, it's hard to take.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, I don't like the idea of painful experiments on. On beagles to do various things. But just in general, if you got beagles without homes, I don't understand how more animal lovers aren't aware of how many extra cats and dogs we have in this country, wherever you are. So that's what, 1500 beagles? I don't actually know, but I gotta believe there's 15,000, if not 150,000 beagles in pounds across this country that are gonna be put to sleep because nobody wants them.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, it's entirely possible.

[Jack Armstrong]

I mean, I don't know how many people have ever been to a shelter, a kill shelter. I have been that's where I got my dog Bogart, who was a. The longest dog I ever had, like in my life, like a decade.

[Joe Getty]

But anyway, what was he, like 4 or 5ft long or what?

[Jack Armstrong]

The longest I ever owned any one single dog. But I got him at the shelter where he was going to be put to sleep and in the Sacramento area and it was full of dogs. I mean, there were so many dogs there and nice dogs, there's lots of pit bulls too.

[Joe Getty]

And.

[Jack Armstrong]

But the, lots of just like regular dogs, people that decided they didn't want it or the old person died or whatever the hell. Lots and lots of perfectly fine dogs that are going to be put to sleep. And so I don't know why, I don't know. I don't know. Nobody, nobody needs another puppy, right? Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

And the fact that, I mean, look, beagles are cute dogs, they're loud. But yeah, the idea that you had no intention of adopting a dog till you saw, saw hundreds and hundreds of beagles on the ABC News and now you're gonna adopt a dog. It just feels a little hasty to me. I'm happy they had more people offered adoptions than they had dogs. They had a hell of a lot of dogs. But so anyway, this young guy has been hammering this facility for a long time. And last year a judge found probable cause that Ridgeland had broken Wisconsin anti cruelty laws and their settlement was, all right, we'll close that operation, we'll just do a much smaller thing that we do and we'll adopt out all the dog. And the activists said, you know what, that's better than we could get at trial. So they accepted it. And that's how we came to be at the happy cheery point. That bent nosed jackass, David Muir portrayed it as just a feel good story about lots of beagles and lots of people who want to love them. I'm David Muir, man. Although that part is true, certainly.

[Jack Armstrong]

Sure, yeah. It's a little bit of a childlike view of the world of there are more dogs and cats than people want. But, but, you know, he's trying to make people happy, whereas we're trying to make people. Well, we're trying to give people truth, but often in a depressing way. So maybe, you know, maybe there's no market for that.

[Joe Getty]

Here's the way some of this unfolded because it is pretty interesting on March 15, because this activist thought the deal had too many loopholes. So in spite of the deal that the judge made on March 15, he marched dozens of activists to the farm where they cut a chain link fence, broke into the building and took 22 vehicles. Videos drew tens of thousands of hits, and in mid April, he mobilized more than a thousand supporters to try to remove the remaining 2000 dogs. He previewed the mission in an interview with Tommy Laren. Of all people, Ridgeland was ready the facility hay bales fortified the fence. In a freshly dug ditch, a foul moat brimmed with animal waste. Uh. And he was arrested for the march incident. Upon exiting his car, law enforcement met protesters with tear gas, rubber bullets and zip ties. A scene as team posted on X. Laura Loomer retweeted the post to her 1.9 million followers.

[Jack Armstrong]

Terrible.

[Joe Getty]

Save the dogs. Other commentators shot back. That night, Lara Trump urged Ridgeland in an Instagram video to accept a million dollar offer from animal rights groups to re home all 2,000 dogs. Wow. So it's really been a big time ongoing drama with million dollar checks, poop moats, bolt cutters, zip ties and rubber bullets. Look at all those beagles. I'm David Muir.

[Jack Armstrong]

Okay. Nobody wants. Yeah, I'm gonna stay away from the reality of there's too many pets as a story. I feel like maybe if you, if that word got out there, more people would be, fewer people would have puppies with the idea that people love puppies. I just had a litter of eight puppies and people are going, no, most people have as many dogs as they want. Most people don't want a dog at all. And most people who do have a dog has as many as they want. The end. That's just the reality of the world of dogs and cats.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, when Judy and I are. My dog Baxter passed away, what, a month ago? And, and we were donating a bunch of his stuff to a local animal shelter that are. Would be glad to take it, by the way, if you have that sort of stuff. And I, I told Judy, I can't go in. I gotta stay out here. I'll walk out with the damn dog.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's hard not to.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. If you have compassion in your heart, it is hard not to. Dogs literally beg you for stuff.

[Jack Armstrong]

I was kind of looking for a dog. I don't even remember the circumstance, but I went into that shelter and there was a. The dog that. Did I name him Bogart or was he already named? I don't remember. But he was in a pen full of crazy, yapping dogs and he was standing back in the corner just like, this really sucks. I really hate this. I said, what's, what's the deal? With that one there. And she said, oh, that one. He's been scheduled to be put down several weeks in a row, but we've been taking him home to save him because we just hope somebody will adopt him because he's so nice. And I had him bring him out and I hung out with him for a while. That this is my dog and he was my dog for like 10 years.

[Joe Getty]

He's like a four legged jack in the corner thinking, I'd rather not be here.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. Till he lost his mind. He was one of those, like, you know, some people, your, your body gives out on you but your mind's fine. Or vice versa. He was, he was a dog whose body was fine, but his mind gave out on him at the end of his life.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. I've learned more about dog dementia in recent years because we, we were concerned Baxter may have had a bit of that and he may have.

[Jack Armstrong]

But Bogart didn't know who I was at the end.

[Joe Getty]

Right. Yeah. That's sad.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. Life, circle of life.

[Joe Getty]

What?

[Jack Armstrong]

No,

[Joe Getty]

no. If you ate them, that'd be the circle.

[Jack Armstrong]

Trump was just asked about UFOs because the pictures are out. As the stupid story continues to have stupid legs. A stupid story with stupid legs throughout the day for stupid people. I assume we will finish strong next Armstrong and Getty.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Most Mother's Day gifts end up in a drawer. But a song lives in the heart forever. This year tryjoybox.com is giving away 1 million free custom songs to celebrate 1 million incredible moms. Just share a few memories and joy. Box produces an original track and greeting card just for her. Instantly it's the most personal gift you'll ever give. And right now it's completely free. Make mom the star of her own song@tropical. Tryjoybox.com 1 million songs $0 only.

@tryjoybox.com Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On public, you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index. With AI, it all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year. You can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousand thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S P500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors, llc. SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures available at public.com disclosures lost

support through telehealth, but it feels overwhelming and rushed. Check out orderlymeds.com now. Orderlymeds.com was built to be different. Here you connect with real doctors who take the time to understand your goals, review your eligibility, and guide you through a plan that's right for you. Orderly Meds provides access to proven GLP1 medications like semaglutide and Tirzepatide, including both name brand options and personalized compound versions when appropriate. So you have choices backed by clinical oversight, not guesswork. It's a simpler, more supportive telehealth experience designed around people who want clarity, care and confidence in their weight loss journey. And your medication is delivered directly to your home in discreet packaging so your experience stays private from start to finish. Do your research, ask the right question, then visit orderlymeds.com podcast for an exclusive offer. Again, that's orderlymeds.com podcast. Individual results may vary, not medical advice, eligibility required. See Cite for details.

[Joe Getty]

Now I'd like to introduce you to Meaningful Beauty, the famed skincare brand created by iconic supermodel Cindy Crawford. It's her secret to absolutely gorgeous skin. Meaningful Beauty makes powerful and effective skincare simple and it's loved by millions of women. It's formulated for all ages and all skin tones and types and it's designed to work as a complete skin care system, leaving your skin feeling soft, smooth and nourished. I recommend starting with Cindy's full regimen which contains all five of her best selling products including the Amazing Youth Activating Melon Serum. This next generation serum has the power of melon leaf stem cell technology. It's melon leaf stem cells encapsulated for freshness and released onto the skin to support a visible reduction in the appearance of wrinkles. With thousands of glowing five star reviews, why not give it a try? Subscribe today and you can get the Amazing Meaningful Beauty system for just $49.95. That includes our introductory five piece system, free gifts, free shipping and a 60 day money back guarantee. All that available@meaningful beauty.com there's a certain

[Political Commentator]

level of wealth and accumulation that is unearned. Right. You can't earn a billion dollars.

[Joe Getty]

That's right.

[Political Commentator]

You just can't earn that.

[Jack Armstrong]

Okay, so that's aoc and that's making the rounds. And as you can imagine, it makes fiscally free market sort of people. Makes your head explode listening to AOC say that and knowing she probably can go around saying that to various crowds and get cheered like crazy.

[Comedian Amy Kozak (as NYT interviewer and Tucker Carlson)]

Crazy.

[Jack Armstrong]

But Charles C.W. cook of the National Review had to immediately respond to that. You didn't earn that AOC Unintentional confession. I'll just give you a little bit of this because I think it's interesting. You can't earn a billion dollars, says the self professed Democratic socialist Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, the Brooklyn Democrat House of Representatives member. Properly understood, this is a confession. It is of course patently untrue that one can't earn a billion dollars in the United. Because around a thousand people have done it like Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Magic Johnson and LeBron James, to name a few. Even Steven Spielberg, Taylor Swift, Jay Z or Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos and others. They did earn a million dollars. He's saying the confession is her. Is her basically saying that she can't earn a billion dollars. But anyway, I thought the ending was a pretty interesting point. Point. In practice, to tell someone that they can't earn a billion dollars is the same as telling someone that they can't do the thing that would make them a billion dollars. And that's what bothers him. If you don't know Charles C.W.

[Joe Getty]

cook.

[Jack Armstrong]

He is a Brit now an American citizen, but he grew up in England. And he said while England back in the day was full of people that, you know, dreamed of being this or that and were a I can accomplish anything sort of society, they no longer are. And he doesn't want that to happen to the United States where currently you feel like you can become a movie star or a professional athlete or whatever in a way that in a lot of places in the world you just don't feel like you can move out of the current status that you were born into. He doesn't want Ocasio Cortez's message of basically you can't earn a billion dollars because you can't do the things that would earn you a billion dollars. He goes on to say, had she said you can't become the greatest basketball player of all time, you just can't do that. That like Michael Jordan did to become a billionaire, you can't write a series of hit songs. You just can't do that. Taylor Swift, you can't spend decades producing beloved films. Steven Spielberg, you just can't do that. Well, people would have said, what are you talking about? Of course you can. But that's what they did to earn their billion dollars. So how is her saying you can't earn a billion dollars, basically saying you can't accomplish things?

[Joe Getty]

You can't come up with software everybody wants. You just can't.

[Jack Armstrong]

Pretty interesting.

[Joe Getty]

It's a horrifying attitude. I really despise it.

[Jack Armstrong]

Here's a dumb story, or maybe it's not dumb to you. I thought it was kind of dumb. I saw a headline in the San Diego Union Tribune about men's cologne. And it was something on there about how to choose a cologne that fits with your body chemistry. And I read the first paragraph. I'd never thought about that in my life. How different colognes smell different on different people. I guess so. I don't know. I don't even know what the process is to go about finding the cologne that feels better with your. Smells better with your body chemistry.

[Joe Getty]

I don't. You gotta swig some down and see how it goes. That's what you do, right?

[Jack Armstrong]

I don't know. I don't know how you do that. I would like to have one that works with my body chemistry, but I don't know how to do that. Anyway, also in that article, it led me to Chanel Number five, which is a female perfume mostly which I've heard of but didn't really know anything about. Do you know much about it? Chanel Number five.

[Joe Getty]

It's the most famous perfume in history.

[Jack Armstrong]

Right. But I didn't know anything beyond that.

[Joe Getty]

Smells nice other than that? No, I know nothing.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's really expensive. It's been around since 1921. It comes from a particular area of France, particular fields that it has to come from these jasmine flowers that are particular to that field in the soil and everything like that. Jasmine flowers that are hand picked at dawn because the heat changes the smell.

[Joe Getty]

Wow.

[Jack Armstrong]

The flowers then have to be processed within hours of picking. Roughly 1,000 jasmine blossoms go into a small bottle of the perfume. There's all kinds of different stuff that they do that that is either real or completely imaginary salesmanship.

[Joe Getty]

And I love the smell of jasmine and that.

[Jack Armstrong]

And that's all ivy beholder. Like lots of salesmanship on lots of things. Clothes, perfumes, cars, houses. All kinds of kinds of different stuff, you know, whether it's true or not if it's true to you. It's true to you. I guess. And I guess there are quite a few debates throughout the past hundred years over that. Still, it's very expensive. It's about 200 for a 3.4 ounce bottle. I don't have any idea how big a bottle that would be, but it sounds fairly small.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, it's about an airplane bottle.

[Jack Armstrong]

I don't know if I've ever smelt it before, but apparently there's a modern divide, according to Reddit, where younger people say it smells like grandma and don't really like it that much, and they're worried that the next generation is not going to want to spend several hundred dollars for a tiny amount of fresh picked jasmine perfume because they think it smells like the grandma. You must have had a rich grandma. I'm pretty sure my grandma had never heard of Chill number five, let alone owned several bottles.

[Joe Getty]

We had a hilarious discussion. My grandmother was at the family dinner table many, many years ago. Gladys. There I was, alas, of 14 or so. I think the whole family was there.

[Jack Armstrong]

What? Gladys? Okay, so now I know what it smells like. That's where Gladys wears Chanel. Oh, that's Chanel number four. Okay, not as good.

[Joe Getty]

Which, yes, she still has left over from the 30s anyway. And my grandmother's perfume of choice was opium, which led to a an hilarious discussion about grandma being on opium.

[Jack Armstrong]

Wow, your grandma was an opium addict? No.

[Joe Getty]

Well, she liked it a lot.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Hey kids, it's that time again with Armstrong and Getty.

[Joe Getty]

She would tell us, groggy, it's not an opium den, it's a club.

[Jack Armstrong]

Here's your host for final thoughts, Joe Getty.

[Joe Getty]

Let's get a final thought from the whole crew, such as it is these days with Katie Green off for maternity leave. Michelangelo, what's your final thought?

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, earlier in the show we played Pete Webber this clip. Who do you think you are? I am. Well, Jack imitated it and I have it for you. Whatever you say you are, I am. Why did I do that?

[Joe Getty]

No idea. Do you have a final thought for us?

[Jack Armstrong]

Yes. I'm going to be a chauffeur tomorrow as my kids have all kinds of events, like three different for each kid and a pickup, drop off, pick up, drop off all day long. My oldest has got to get his driver's license sense so he can drive himself.

[Joe Getty]

My final thought is I canceled yet another round of golf today for yet another injury incurred while exercising. That's it. I'm never exercising again. I'm going to do stuff I like. I'm going to walk, going to hit golf balls about. I'm staying away from the gym. It's too dangerous.

[Jack Armstrong]

You hurt yourself exercising?

[Joe Getty]

Kind of.

[Jack Armstrong]

Huh. That sucks.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

Armstrong and Yeti rapping about other grueling

[Joe Getty]

a four hour workday so many people thank so little time. Good Armstrong and getty.com for the hot links for the Ang swag store. How do you clean up cities? Enforce the law. Pick up your Armstrong and Getty Enforce the law T shirt. Drop us a note over the weekend. If there's something we ought to be talking about on Monday, email it along mailbag@armstrong getty.com Put a little Chanel number

[Jack Armstrong]

five behind each year. Go out there and have a good weekend. See it on Monday. God bless America. America Armstrong and Ghetti. You gotta wake up. Wake up America. It's the greatest steps in the history of mankind. Our government spends and spends and spends time for all of us to wake up. Don't bother with FD all the stupid UFO ufo. We gotta say enough. Love the Armstrong and Getty.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Most Mother's Day gifts end up in a drawer, but a song lives in the heart forever. This year tryjoybox.com is giving away 1 million free custom songs to celebrate 1 million incredible moms. Just share a few memories and joy. Box produces an original track and greeting card just for her. Instantly. It's the most personal gift you'll ever give. And right now, now it's completely free. Make mom the star of her own [e-mail] 1,000,000 songs $0 [e-mail] Are you

trying to get weight loss support through telehealth, but it feels overwhelming and rushed. Check out orderlymeds.com now. Orderlymeds.com was built to be different. Here you connect with real doctors who take the time to understand your goals, review your eligibility, and guide you through a plan that's right for you. Orderly Meds provide provides access to proven GLP1 medications like semaglutide and Tirzepatide, including both name brand options and personalized compound versions when appropriate. So you have choices backed by clinical oversight, not guesswork. It's a simpler, more supportive telehealth experience designed around people who want clarity, care and confidence in their weight loss journey. And your medication is delivered directly to your home in discreet packaging so your experience stays private from start to finish. Do your research, ask the right questions, then visit orderlymeds.com podcast for an exclusive offer. Again, that's orderlymeds.com podcast. Individual results may vary. Not medical advice eligibility required. See Cite for details.

[Reynolds Kitchens Advertiser]

Ever wonder how to make hosting look effortless? Here's a secret Getting ahead of the mess with new Reynolds Kitchens countertop prep paper Just lightly wet the counter beforehand so the paper grips and stays in place. Then lay down the Reynolds Kitchen's countertop prep paper so drips and spills stay on the paper, not all over your kitchen counter. You can roll out dough, prep a party spread, or cook alongside family. When you're done, cleanup is as simple as lifting the paper and revealing that clean counter underneath. Effortless. You can use it for cooking and baking, prep and even crafting, especially when you need extra working space. Because when the mess is already handled, you can focus on what matters the food, the people and the moment. It may look effortless, but now you know it's Reynolds Kitchens Countertop prep paper. Take a tip from me. Wet it, set it, prep it. Done. Make it easy. Make it with Reynolds Kitchens Countertop prep paper, available now in the Reynolds Wrap aisle in Walmart, Target, Amazon and Costco.

[Jack Armstrong]

The wait is almost over. Get ready for the NFL season with a highly anticipated 2026 NFL schedule release. Every rivalry, every rematch and every rookie debut with matchups locked and kickoffs confirmed. Be there for every can't miss moment. The full NFL schedule release coming in May. Get all the [e-mail] schedulerelease.