Ep 339 - Identity Crisis

Summary

ASCP Esty Talk - Episode 339: Identity Crisis

Release Date: August 6, 2025
Host: Associated Skin Care Professionals (ASCP)
Co-Hosts: Maggie Stasik & Ella Cressman

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Introduction

In Episode 339 of ASCP Esty Talk, titled "Identity Crisis," co-hosts Maggie Stasik and Ella Cressman delve into a topic that resonates deeply with many estheticians: the intricate balance between personal identity and professional branding. This episode explores the challenges that arise when a business becomes an extension of oneself, blurring the lines between personal life and professional commitments.

The Challenges of Being Your Brand

Maggie opens the discussion by highlighting the powerful connection clients form with estheticians—not just through their services but through their personal brand. She poses a critical question:

"What happens when your business becomes your identity?" ([01:50])

Ella immediately relates, sharing her personal experience with her brand, Ella Cress Skincare. She candidly discusses the pitfalls of naming her business after herself:

"Ella is Ella Cress Skincare. And so when I had employees, people wanted to book with me. That was problem number one. Number two, I can never scale it and sell it because it's literally me." ([02:33])

This scenario underscores a common dilemma: while branding oneself can foster trust and authenticity, it can also lead to operational and scalability challenges.

Blurred Personal and Professional Boundaries

The conversation shifts to the inseparability of personal and professional identities. Maggie emphasizes the strength of being the face of the business but also acknowledges the accompanying risks:

"Being the face can lead to burnout, blurred boundaries. You are the face. You are the business. When do you shut it off?" ([04:04])

Ella echoes this sentiment, sharing an anecdote from her school days where her peers often sought her advice purely based on her professional title, leading to persistent overlap between her personal interactions and professional role:

"People want advice on this. Can you look at this? What do you think I should do about this?" ([04:18])

This blending often extends beyond estheticians to other professions, including doctors and lawyers, where professional expertise overshadows personal interactions.

Impact on Personal Life and Burnout

As the discussion progresses, both hosts acknowledge the emotional toll of maintaining such a close tie between personal identity and business.

Ella shares her struggles with work-life balance, particularly how her dedication to her business led to neglecting personal relationships:

"I was growing... having to set aside time for yourself... knowing you're not the brand." ([10:49])

Maggie connects this to the broader issue of burnout, highlighting how the inability to disconnect can result in resentment and exhaustion:

"Burnout... the resentment that you're talking about, if those boundaries are not set, it's easy to feel that way." ([12:12])

Strategies to Maintain Separation

To combat these challenges, the hosts discuss practical strategies for maintaining a healthy separation between personal and professional lives.

1. Intentional Branding:

   • Maggie suggests that estheticians can build a powerful personal brand without oversharing personal details.
   • Emphasizing values and professionalism while maintaining privacy helps in setting clear boundaries.

2. Social Media Management:

   • Ella advises maintaining separate professional and personal social media accounts to prevent the overmerging of identities.
   • She emphasizes the importance of a "behind the scenes" plan to ensure personal time isn't overshadowed by business demands.

   "Creating a space where you can have us stop personally. So I'm closing my shop for the day and I am now off." ([10:49])

3. Setting Clear Boundaries:

   • Establishing specific work hours and sticking to them helps prevent work from encroaching on personal time.
   • Utilizing booking software instead of personal contact information can limit unwanted professional queries during personal time.

   "I don't really text. I do now text through my booking software." ([11:33])

4. Self-Care and Time Off:

   • Scheduling regular breaks, vacations, and hobbies unrelated to work can rejuvenate personal identity.
   • Ella shares her realization of the importance of boundaries after experiencing growing resentment from always being available for work-related matters.

   "Scheduling time off, and having a start and an end to your day." ([10:49])

Building a Balanced Personal Brand

The hosts emphasize that building a personal brand doesn't have to mean sacrificing personal identity. By being deliberate about how much of oneself is shared and by setting firm professional boundaries, estheticians can maintain a healthy balance.

• Professional Interactions:

  • Engaging with clients professionally without delving into personal life ensures that relationships remain focused and respectful.

  "You can establish the difference by saying, oh yeah, I would love to make you an appointment, here's my card, and end it there." ([07:33])

• Emotional Boundaries:

  • Setting emotional boundaries prevents professional interactions from affecting personal well-being.

  "Setting emotional boundaries with clients too. I think that's a big one." ([13:28])

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

"Identity Crisis" serves as a poignant reminder for estheticians to reflect on their professional identities and the potential impacts on their personal lives. By sharing personal experiences and practical advice, Maggie and Ella offer valuable insights into navigating the delicate balance between being a passionate business owner and maintaining a fulfilling personal life.

Notable Quotes:

• "What happens when your business becomes your identity?" — Maggie Stasik ([01:50])
• "Ella is Ella Cress Skincare... I can never scale it and sell it because it's literally me." — Ella Cressman ([02:33])
• "It's easy to have burnout if those boundaries are not set." — Maggie Stasik ([12:12])
• "Creating a space where you can have us stop personally. So I'm closing my shop for the day and I am now off." — Ella Cressman ([10:49])

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Additional Resources

For more insights from this episode or to connect with Maggie and Ella, visit the ASCP Esty Talk show notes. Share your own experiences with balancing personal and professional identities on social media or reach out via email at getconnectedscpskincare.com.

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This summary captures the essence of Episode 339, focusing on the central theme of identity and its implications for estheticians. By highlighting key discussions and providing memorable quotes, it offers a comprehensive overview for those who haven't listened to the episode.

Transcript

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[Maggie Stasik]

Hello and welcome to ASCP's Estee Talk. I'm your co host, Maggie Stasik and ASCP's program director.

[Ella Cressman]

And I'm Ella Cressman, licensed esthetician, ingredient junkie and mahjong enthusiast. Oh, and also content contributor for ascp.

[Maggie Stasik]

Whoa. Ella.

[Ella Cressman]

I love it. It's so fun. Very relaxing.

[Maggie Stasik]

Okay, well, today we're diving into something that hits close to home, I think, for so many estheticians. What happens when your business becomes your identity?

[Ella Cressman]

Ugh.

[Maggie Stasik]

Dun, dun, dun. When you are your brand, where do you draw the line between personal and professional right now? I mean, don't get me wrong, because building a personal brand is powerful. Your clients connect with you, like your style, your voice, your vibe. But what happens when it starts to feel like there's no separation between the professional you and the personal you?

[Ella Cressman]

It's not easy.

[Maggie Stasik]

Yeah, No, I mean, Ella, you are Ella Cress Skincare. So I think you can really speak to this.

[Ella Cressman]

I can relate to this. In. In. There's duality with this statement because literally I named my business, you know, I dropped the man from my maiden name. And that's how Ella Crest Skincare was born. I thought it sounded so sophisticated in 2000. Whatever. But it was a big mistake, if I'm being honest.

[Maggie Stasik]

Oh, tell us. Okay.

[Ella Cressman]

Because Ella is Ella Crest Skincare. And so when I had employees, people wanted to book with me. That was problem number one. Number two, I can never scale it and sell it because it's literally me. I am the name. So that was another problem. There was a time when I was considering it at the height of productivity, as it were. But the other part of that is that I felt as the face of it, that it changed things differently from. Than if I was working for someone else, you know?

[Maggie Stasik]

Yeah. Okay. So this is such a big topic. I feel like on the one hand, being the face of your business, I think is a strength. It's building trust and authenticity. So you mentioned being Ella Cress Skincare. People only wanted to book with you, but let's say you had named it, you know, glow, blah, blah, blah, Face Bar. I think being the owner, people still would seek you out and only want to book with you.

[Ella Cressman]

That could be.

[Maggie Stasik]

Maybe I'm wrong, but I. I think that is right.

[Ella Cressman]

The status of. Oh, that she somehow must know more because she owns a place.

[Maggie Stasik]

Yeah. Yeah. On the flip side, being the face can lead to burnout, blurred boundaries. You are the face. You are the business. When do you shut it off?

[Ella Cressman]

That's really hard. In fact, it started in school for me. It started in school, one of my classmates, we were both working full time and then going to school at night. And we were young, so then sometimes we'd go out after or on the weekends. And it was topic. It's not rare to say, what do you do? Like, when you're meeting people? But it became a topic and then people want advice on this. Can you look at this thing? And that's when it started for me of not the separation versus, oh, what do you do? I'm in insurance. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. What else do you like to do versus, like, I'm an esthetician. Oh, you do skin. Can you look at this? Or what do you think I should do about this? And I think that's similar in other professions like lawyers and doctors. Not to put us there, but you know what I'm saying?

[Maggie Stasik]

Oh, I pretend I'm a doctor all the time.

[Ella Cressman]

That's funny. You're like benzoyl peroxide.

[Maggie Stasik]

Yes. You have. Blah, blah, blah. I can totally help you with that. Yeah.

[Ella Cressman]

I remember one time being in school and that coming up, because we were in that situation section of school, like, you can't diagnose, you can't prescribe. And somebody asked something and I said, well, I'm not a doctor. And then I took a big drink of my drink. But this is what I would say, you know, because I'm in school, I know everything.

[Maggie Stasik]

Yeah.

[Ella Cressman]

And my friend actually would give me a hard time about that for a long Time she thought it was hysterical. Just, you know. Yeah. But anyways, yeah, totally.

[Maggie Stasik]

I. Hang on, let me just get my latex gloves and we'll take care of that for you.

[Ella Cressman]

That's my glove snapping. Let me get it out. Totally.

[Maggie Stasik]

So let's talk about the blend of personal and professional in our industry. And I think this is a bit what you're talking about. Clients often choose us, not just our services.

[Ella Cressman]

I think, absolutely. And that's what really, when we talk about competition, we say, hey, don't worry about it, because it's so much more than just product on a face in a certain cadence. It's absolutely about connecting. So they do choose us, not just our service. For sure. Yeah.

[Maggie Stasik]

And you know, when people hear, oh, you're an esthetician, ah, let me ask you something, let me get your advice. Tell me, blah, blah, blah. It's that connection that's part of it, I think.

[Ella Cressman]

Yes, absolutely.

[Maggie Stasik]

So do you think this blend is unavoidable?

[Ella Cressman]

I do think it's unavoidable, but I also think you can change or shift or control the blend a little bit. As I mentioned, when a lot of us are business owners, also estheticians, and that comes with networking, so we're constantly a representative of our companies is because we're in that space. So I think that blend is really easy to have happen as far as like crossing over personal and professional. So we do have to be conscientious of that act right in the. In public, certain things. But we can also be careful. Like if you're at a party or a setting and people are asking you advice, you don't have to go into that. You can establish the difference by saying, oh yeah, I would love to make you an appointment, here's my card, and end it there versus getting sucked into a 15 minute conversation about peptides, for example.

[Maggie Stasik]

Yeah, okay. Really interesting and very good point. I mean, you choose where that boundary ends or you cut off the conversation. Um, sometimes I think we've talked about this before. Estheticians are nurturers, givers. Right. And it might be hard for us to set that boundary, cut it off and divert the conversation somewhere else.

[Ella Cressman]

I want to say something else here too, because you are your business and so whatever, you have to be really careful about how you behave and how you maneuver. This recently came up where I. We'll just call it a business owner had done some things that was unbecoming of a professional and lost respect in our local community. And then is. I don't want to say Too much because I want to give it away, but is lost the potential for future business also. And so she's not necessarily a practitioner. It's still in the industry. But your reputation and the way you behave personally has an effect professionally.

[Maggie Stasik]

Yeah, absolutely. That's in all industries or most industries, probably, I would say. But yeah, especially when you are your business, for sure. So was there a time when your personal identity and professional brand became one in the same, or was that how it started from the beginning you mentioned in school?

[Ella Cressman]

I think it started in school and then the. I started a business right after school, named the business after myself and put everything into it, put my whole self into it. My livelihood depended on it. So it's hard not to become my business. And that's the direction it was. It wasn't that my business became me. I became on all the time, every conversation I had, trying to really kind of solicit business, if, if you will, trying to get people in, trying to justify that I did know what I was talking about. So I would get sucked into those conversations where we were talking about ingredients and products. And my efforts were intended to pull them in for an appointment, but really I just armed them with information that they could take to the, you know, big box beauty store or whatever. So I did learn some ways to use the blend to my advantage and also ways to stop the blend from being overwhelming.

[Maggie Stasik]

Yeah. So what happens when you can't separate the two? I mean, one minute you're building a brand and the next you feel like you can't turn it off. It's this unspoken pressure to always be on, I think is what you're saying, to always be the expert, the cheerleader, the perfectly branded sd. My opinion about estheticians, majority go into the industry with this anticipation, they're gonna become a solo esthetician. Would you agree?

[Ella Cressman]

I would say that's the goal. And you could see that in conversations online where it's like, just go work for someone else until you can be your own boss. Yeah.

[Maggie Stasik]

How do you. I mean, I'm. I'm saying this as a rhetorical question. I mean, how do you become a solo esthetician and have personal and professional separate. It seems like in our industry it's always one and the same.

[Ella Cressman]

Especially with social media as a huge part of your identity too. I mean, that's a great question. I think you can have the forward perception that that's the case as long as you have a behind the scenes plan to set aside time for you and to almost check in with yourself that you are not the brand. And by that I mean perhaps taking breaks, vacations, scheduling time off, and having a start and an end to your day. Because even till this year, what I was doing is taking calls on the weekends or at night or early in the morning. And I was resentful of it. I was growing. I mean, I had been resentful of it for a long time. And there are periods where I would not answer or. Or even snarkily answer back. It's the weekend. I'll get back to you on Tuesday. Like, I was being passive aggressive. I don't even know if it was picked up that way. But I realized having those, I guess, boundaries would be the best thing. So don't give access to your personal cell phone number key. That's why I don't really text. I do now text through my booking software. But creating a space where you can have us stop personally. So I'm closing my shop for the day and I am now off. And that includes even scheduling time for your admin stuff during the time you're at your location.

[Maggie Stasik]

Yeah, it becomes a slippery slope, I think. And in my opinion, really what we're talking about is burnout. It happens to everyone. In your slow periods and in your busy periods. This resentment that you're talking about, if those boundaries are not set, it's easy to feel that way.

[Ella Cressman]

Yeah.

[Maggie Stasik]

So here's the truth. In my opinion, you can love your business and still feel like it's taking over your whole life.

[Ella Cressman]

And the sacrifice comes with to your family. So I would answer the phone, I'm with my husband, or I would be with my niece and nephew. And you know, answering an email or things like that, I'm missing out. I put that over everything. And it's something that my dad owns a business, my brother owns a business. And I noticed that happening even at our family gatherings of like, the business conversation took over everything. So being aware of that, also having that to look at and not wanting to portray that myself too. So I think, I don't know, I think it's important to have a little separation.

[Maggie Stasik]

Yeah, I totally agree. I think it doesn't mean you're doing something wrong. It just means it's time to reconnect with who you are outside the treatment room. And you mentioned some things like taking those breaks, getting a vacation, reconnecting with your hobbies.

[Ella Cressman]

Yeah, all my hobbies were skin related, like looking up ingredients or I'm gonna keep on. All my hobbies were related. Whether I was like reading papers at night on ingredients or different formulations or if I was popping a pimple. No, I'm just kidding. If I was popping a pimple in the mirror, it was consuming. I was an I was elacras skincare from Rise until laying it down at night and so very important.

[Maggie Stasik]

Yeah. So some ways that SDS can build a powerful personal brand while keeping their identity intact. Having intentional branding, you can show your values without revealing every detail of your life. One thing we've talked about in prior podcasts is having your professional social media and your personal social media. And that separation, I think also extends into the treatment room. When you're engaging with your clients, you have friends and family that are your clients, but also being sure that you're setting that professional boundary with those clients and setting emotional boundaries with clients too. I think that's a big one.

[Ella Cressman]

Big one.

[Maggie Stasik]

Yeah. And then knowing when to unplug from your SD identity and just be you. So all these things that Ella is talking about, just reconnecting with yourself, having self care, having time for yourself and putting the business aside, which can be really challenging.

[Ella Cressman]

Absolutely.

[Maggie Stasik]

Listeners, we want to hear from you. Have you ever felt like your business identity has overTaken your personal one? How did you find your way back to you? Share with us on social media through Instagram, Facebook or by emailing getconnectedscpskincare.com thank you for listening to ASCPS to talk. And as always, for more information on this episode, the or for ways to connect with Ella and myself or to learn more about ascp, check out the show notes.

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