Podcast Summary: Aspire with Emma Grede
Episode Title: Negotiation Starts Before You Enter the Room
Host: Emma Grede
Guest: Mori Taheripour, Negotiation Expert & Professor at Wharton
Date: March 5, 2026
Main Theme & Purpose
This episode is part of the "Career Girls Guide" series and zooms in on negotiation—a crucial, under-discussed career skill. Emma Grede and guest Mori Taheripour explore the emotional and practical dimensions of negotiation, emphasizing self-advocacy, authenticity, preparation, and the long-term importance of personal values and connection. The episode offers strategic, psychological, and actionable advice, particularly for women, touching on societal conditioning, self-doubt, and overcoming fear.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Negotiation as a Fundamental Life Skill
- “We negotiate every single day, literally from the time we were babies...” (02:25, Mori)
- Negotiation is not just for workplaces—it’s part of daily life, relationships, and self-talk.
- Despite early skills, negative experiences can foster doubt and fear around negotiation.
2. Why Women (and ‘Others’) Struggle to Self-Advocate
- Societal judgments and cumulative “no’s” breed self-doubt and people-pleasing tendencies.
- “If you can’t be your own best advocate, there’s really nothing I can do for you.” (09:32, Mori)
- Self-confidence and self-advocacy are presented as everyone’s responsibility, especially for ‘others’ who feel marginalized.
3. Negotiation Is Not Combat
- Negotiation is about connection, not confrontation or zero-sum games.
- “Negotiations is rooted in humanity. It is personal connections.” (14:06, Mori)
- Scarcity mindset keeps people—especially women—afraid to ask for more.
4. Preparation Before Entering the Room
- Most negotiation success depends on what happens before the actual meeting.
- “If negotiations means that’s when you speak your voice and that’s when you speak your truth, then you decide when you’re gonna speak it.” (19:20, Mori)
- There is no ‘perfect’ time—seizing or creating the opportunity is key.
5. Values-First Approach
- Negotiation should start with personal values, not just a “bottom line.”
- “What do I want to abide by?” (20:53, Mori)
- Knowing non-negotiables and preparing for honesty removes stress and increases clarity.
6. Aspirational Goal-Setting
- Set ambitious (“aspirational”) goals—those who do so consistently achieve better outcomes.
- “Negotiations isn’t meant to be comfortable, right?” (23:34, Mori)
7. Balance Aspirational vs. Realistic Goals
- Support your ask with data and understand both your and the other side’s perspectives.
- “I can ask for anything if I can give you the data for it.” (25:47, Mori)
8. Curiosity and Empathy
- Success arises from being present, prepared, and truly curious about the other party’s needs.
- “There’s no greater power in negotiations than a curious mind.” (28:30, Mori)
9. Making the Ask & The Power of Silence
- Make your presentation, then pause—don’t over-justify.
- “Make the ask and shut the fuck up.” (29:10, Emma)
- Silence invites the counterpart to process and respond thoughtfully.
10. Dealing With Conflict and Difficult Negotiators
- Use breath work and the “go to the balcony” technique to gain perspective and manage emotions.
- “Who said it has to be done today?” (33:32, Mori)
- Taking a break can recalibrate negotiations.
11. Presence—Whether In-Person or Virtual
- “Presence is power.” (39:27, Mori)
- Eliminate distractions, especially on Zoom; information exchange/rapport is foundational.
12. The Lost Art of Connection
- Building personal rapport (even small talk) creates long-term business relationships.
- Knowledge of personal details helps in moments of crisis or opportunity.
13. Rejection Is Not the End
- “No” is often about the offer, not you. Welcome no as a learning moment.
- “No, they are not rejecting me.” (48:29, Mori)
- Always ask for feedback after rejection to learn and grow.
14. Combatting Regret & Harnessing Reflection
- Allow yourself to feel regret, but use it as fuel to learn and do better next time.
- “If I regret it, that means it was meaningful to me…how can I be better the next time?” (54:27, Mori)
Memorable Quotes & Notable Moments
- [06:29] Mori: “Negotiations was your power... the way you show up in the world and tell people what you want.”
- [13:25] Emma: “When people start with a five, I’m like, I’m done. I’m like, please don’t count me down into this.”
- [19:17] Mori: “People always say, when is the right time to negotiate? I say, when you need to negotiate. That's the right time.”
- [29:10] Emma: “Make the ask and shut the fuck up.”
- [37:36] Mori: “Leverage is all about how you show up… Walk in your power.”
- [38:12] Emma: “Does the outfit matter?”
- [39:27] Mori: “Presence is power.”
- [47:53] Mori: “They’re not saying no to you, they’re saying no to that thing.”
- [54:27] Mori: “If I regret it, that means it was meaningful to me... how can I be better the next time?”
- [59:22] Mori: “Impossible. I love that. All things are possible, even if it doesn’t work out... possibility takes hope, promise, and work.”
Timestamps for Key Segments
- The Importance of Negotiation – [02:21]
- Negotiation and Childhood Self-Advocacy – [07:08]
- People Pleasing and Guilt – [10:04], [51:30]
- Negotiation Myths and Transactional Pitfalls – [13:49]
- Scarcity Mindset and Self-Worth – [15:19]
- Preparation/Pre-Negotiation Work – [18:31]
- Values-First Negotiation – [20:43]
- Goal Setting and Using Data – [23:20], [25:29]
- Curiosity and Listening – [27:39]
- Making the Ask and Handling Silence – [28:36], [29:10]
- Handling Difficult Negotiations – [31:03]
- Presence (In-Person & Virtual) – [39:27]
- Building Rapport and Connection – [41:07], [43:17]
- Dealing with Rejection – [47:53]
- Regret and Reflection – [53:47], [54:27]
- Rapid Fire: Hardest Ask, Biggest Lesson, Unlearning “Impossible” – [57:04], [59:22]
- Book Recommendation – [62:02] (“How to Win Friends and Influence People,” Dale Carnegie)
Techniques, Takeaways & Audience Questions
- Anyone Can Learn to Negotiate: Negotiation is both innate and teachable.
- Scarcity vs. Abundance: Approach negotiation from abundance and shared benefit, not zero-sum.
- Preparation is Underrated: Deep self-understanding and data-gathering are critical.
- Presence = Power: Whether physically or virtually, be fully present and respect the other party.
- Connection is Currency: Build real relationships for long-term success.
- Feedback Over Fear: Rejection is a teacher, not a verdict.
- Regret as a Signal: Let it inform your next move, don’t dwell.
- Be Respectful, Not Apologetic: Respect and likability are important, but assertiveness and authenticity matter more than striving to please.
Final Mindset Shift
- “You’ve done this before, you’ve done this forever…you’re experienced. You’re just not giving yourself credit.” (49:29, Mori)
Essential Recommended Reading
- Book: “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie ([62:02]).