Aspire with Emma Grede

Episode Summary: What We Can Learn from Failure with Ami Colé Founder, Diarrha N’Diaye

Date: September 9, 2025
Host: Emma Grede
Guest: Diarrha N’Diaye, Founder of Ami Colé

Episode Overview

This episode of Aspire is an unusually candid deep-dive into the unvarnished reality of entrepreneurial failure and resilience. Host Emma Grede speaks with Diarrha N’Diaye, founder of the much-lauded Ami Colé beauty brand, about building a successful, community-driven company — and having the courage to shut it down. Together, they interrogate the lessons, emotional tolls, and strategic missteps behind the scenes, offering an insightful road map for any ambitious entrepreneur. N’Diaye’s narrative defies the "failure as taboo" trope, transforming it into an instructive, communal experience.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Behind the Scenes: The Emotional Reality of Failure

• Emma’s Introduction (00:10): Sets the emotional stakes — rarely do we hear what happens when acclaimed founders must publicly close down their brands.
• Diarrha’s Emotional Journey
  • The closing of Ami Colé was “absolutely” emotionally taxing.
  • Seven months before public announcement, she grieved privately, showing up for her team and family while balancing fear and hope (08:17).
  • Felt both fear and eventual freedom at the moment of public closure: “When it happened, I felt free.” (09:53)

2. Building with Intention & Inclusive Beauty

• Ami Colé’s Mission (04:38–05:54):
  • N’Diaye wanted to create “a top shelf quality, timeless approach to beauty” for people often told such products weren’t possible.
  • The brand was named after her mother for deep, personal reasons, entwining family legacy and Black immigrant entrepreneurship (10:10–11:18).
  • Core philosophy: “I always thought of Ami Colé as the shop, a Hair salon. ... How can we provide that space where once you open that package, you're like, oh, she gets it." (11:18)

3. Long Road to Launch: Preparation, Not Overnight Success

• Timeline of Grit
  • 2014: First conceived Ami Colé
  • 2021: Launched — “Seven years of hustling” in the industry at Temptu, L’Oréal, Glossier (06:07–07:43).
  • 150 investor rejections before finally closing her first major funding round at the height of 2020’s reckoning with racial equity in business (16:48–18:48).

4. Cultural & VC Shifts, and the Cost of Opportunity

• VC Landscape in 2020:
  • Pandemic and social upheaval forced investors to re-examine their portfolios' lack of Black-owned brands — an opportunity N’Diaye seized as “luck is where opportunity meets preparation.” (18:48)
  • "Were you ready?" - Grede presses on whether capital came too quickly; N’Diaye believed she’d done the work, but infrastructure gaps remained (19:03–20:46).

5. From Hype to Burnout: The Explosive Launch

• Immediate Success:
  • Overwhelming demand, critical endorsements (Oprah, Allure), 80+ industry awards (23:07–23:40).
  • The challenge: scaling from DTC (direct-to-consumer) to massive retail (Sephora), and the investor pressure to chase rapid, “rocket ship” growth (21:04–22:30).

6. Missteps and Warnings: Growth for Growth’s Sake

• Distribution Dilemma (27:59–29:30):
  • Cautionary tale: believing that national retail doors "will solve your problems" is a trap.
  • Jumped from 250 to 600 Sephora doors without sufficient operational team, margin analysis, or test-and-learn strategy, under pressure from investors and competitive context.
• Key Quote (Emma, 33:16):
  • “When you’re starting out in wholesale... you have to test and learn. Not all doors are created equal. ... You need to test your brand.”

7. Founders Need Operational Literacy

• Team, Board, and Literacy Gaps:
  • “No board” after raising ~$2.7M; lacked operational mentors or the strategic “big girl” team early enough (25:17–27:59, 51:03–52:36).
  • “I was expecting you to bleed through this. Yes, did I have literacy enough to go in and explain line by line why this went up and down? But...by the time I caught on, is it too late?” (64:12)

8. Investor Relations: Hands-on vs. Hands-off Money

• Experience Matters:
  • Investors with operational backgrounds were far more useful than classic financiers (41:04–42:41).
  • Investor directions were often at odds (“more doors!” vs. “slow down”), with no unified board vision (43:17).
• Notable Quotes:
  • “Not all money is created equal.” (41:38, Emma)
  • “At different phases, we had different problems to solve. Things were good until they were not.” (43:30)

9. Operational Complexity of Scaling & Burn Rate

• Velocity and Margin Profile Lessons:
  • Beauty brands must understand velocity—the rate of sale per SKU per day/location—and gross margin difference between DTC and retail (34:17–37:23, 58:54).
  • Expensive product formulas + massive retail demand + limited capital = existential cash crunch.
  • “If you're already running out of cash, it doesn’t matter.” (62:46)

10. What Broke Down

• Too Much, Too Quickly:
  • Over-indexing on retail expansion without “hot spot” targeting or proper support teams (52:42–53:36).
  • Investors and operational hires didn’t always fit the need; N’Diaye admits to not firing quickly enough and being “in too many parts of the business doing everything.” (65:02–66:37)
• “Death by a thousand cuts”:
  • Cumulative stressors—cash flow, investor expectations, personal burnout, new babies—compounded until there was no path forward (47:31, 68:20).
  • “I was prepping for an investor call weeks after giving birth...I was the one that would work.” (49:26)

11. Motherhood, Burnout, and Social Expectations

• N’Diaye and Grede address the tension of building a company while raising young children, rarely discussed publicly (67:41–73:33).
• N’Diaye: “I thought that was normal...Business is hard, you know?” (68:20)
• Both call out the harmful glamorization of “having it all” and the reality that trade-offs can deeply impact health and wellbeing.

12. Reframing Failure: Moving Past Shame

• Bringing Failure Out Loud:
  • “We're gonna show them what it looks like to fail out loud, learn out loud with courage, and make sure that the path forward is a clear one.” (55:18)
  • Financial and emotional responsibility to investors, community, and self (88:46).
  • “My mom was like, ‘Girl, Oprah knows your name. You're good in my book.’” (84:41)
• Founders’ Learning:
  • “I’m in a group. Everyone’s like, you better keep going. ... What happened to me isn’t going to replicate.” (92:08)

13. Practical Wisdom & Advice

• For Entrepreneurs:
  • “Do it scared. Do it with the possibility of failure. ... Stay true to who you are and also know your why.” (94:23)
  • “A DTC company is completely different from a full-chain distribution company. ... Give yourself time to know what works before you commit to scale.” (58:54)
  • On boundaries: “I was a yes girl. ... Now, I actually—I don’t have it in me to give you.” (103:46)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Taking the Leap:
  • “You have to try. The hardest thing...I had this idea in 2014, I didn’t launch until 2021. ...You have to try.” (05:54, Diarrha)
• On Community:
  • "That was community before it was a buzzword—our livelihood." (11:04, Diarrha)
• On Investor Hype and the Trap of Growth:
  • Emma: “If you believe that distribution will solve the problems to your business, you're in trouble.” (27:59)
• On Operational Lessons:
  • “Every founder is going to say this, but I don’t think ego is at play. I just needed to know what to do to get to the next step. ... The conversation is, you need to get into full doors. ... What do I do?” (29:10, Diarrha)
• On Retail Expansion:
  • Diarrha: “In hindsight, I would have done 20 doors, not 250.” (33:44)
• On Team:
  • “Not enough understanding of what you didn’t know.” (64:56, Emma)
  • “I should have fired quicker.” (65:02, Diarrha)
• On Being Funded for Success (or Not):
  • “If you’re already running out of cash, doesn’t matter…you need time and money to get that right.” (62:46, Diarrha)
• On Motherhood & Burnout:
  • “I was answering a PR call literally in between contractions.” (68:44, Diarrha)
  • “Business is hard, you know?” (68:54)
• On Legacy:
  • “Did I learn? Absolutely. Did my investors learn? Absolutely. … I wish we did things differently together.” (55:51, Diarrha)
  • “Oprah knows your name. You’re good in my book.” (84:41, quoting her mother)
• Final Wisdom:
  • “You closed your piece in the Cut saying thank you to all of the women that let you be part of their daily routine. ... What do you want to say to those women now?”
  • Diarrha: “I see you, girl. I see you, sis. ... That is beautiful, and we've been able to create a space to create a safe space for that emotional exchange.” (95:32)

Important Timestamps (For Quick Reference)

• [05:54] Diarrha on perseverance and long-term commitment
• [08:17] Private grief, team responsibility, and the relief of public transparency
• [16:48] 2020’s unique window of opportunity for Black entrepreneurs
• [23:07] Industry success signals & the initial rocket ship launch
• [27:59] Distribution myth and the dangers of overexpansion
• [33:44] In hindsight: “I would have done 20 doors.”
• [47:31] “Death by a thousand cuts” — turning points and accepting closure
• [64:12] Diarrha on not having enough financial or operational literacy early enough
• [67:41] On motherhood, burnout, and the all-consuming pressure on women
• [84:41] Community, legacy, and her mother’s pride
• [94:23] Key advice to founders: “Do it. Do it scared. ... Stay true to what you are and know your why.”
• [103:46] On boundaries—learning to say no and value her time

Final Takeaways

• Failures are not endpoints, but inflection points. N’Diaye’s candid narrative breaks the stigma of failure among ambitious women and particularly women of color in entrepreneurship.
• Operational rigour and mentorship are as critical as brand and product. Founders must invest as much in team, systems, and finance as in creative vision and community.
• Learn to Say No. Both Grede and N’Diaye underscore the importance of boundaries and selective focus amid hype and opportunity.
• More voices, more transparency. Sharing these stories helps make “the top” of business less minuscule and more accessible for all.

For Founders & Builders

• Test and learn before rapid scale — not all retail or wholesale expansion is positive.
• Don’t mistake early hype for proof of longevity.
• Invest in mentors, boards, and operational literacy early.
• Remember: Success and failure can coexist — and both offer profound lessons for the next chapter.

This summary captures the tone, candor, and intent of Emma Grede’s interview with Diarrha N’Diaye: a guide for aspiring entrepreneurs and a record of the very human journey of building, and closing, a brand.