Australian True Crime – Shortcut: "My Daughter the Youth Offender"

Release Date: February 2, 2026
Host: Meshel Laurie
Guest: Anonymous foster mother

Episode Overview

This emotionally charged episode delves deep into the lived experience of a foster mother whose daughter has walked the fraught line between victim and offender in Australia’s youth crime landscape. Through a candid, first-hand account, the guest explores how her daughter’s encounters with violence, absentee birth parents, institutional responses, and cycles of offending both reflect and challenge popular assumptions about youth crime and parental responsibility. The episode raises profound questions about the adequacy of current approaches, the weight on carers, and the complexities lurking behind the headline “youth crime.”

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Becoming a Foster Mother

• The guest explains that she became her daughter’s foster carer when the girl was five, eventually fostering her for 15 years.
  • Quote [00:46]:

    “So you're asking me to promise to love this child for the rest of my life? … I said, okay, I'm in.” – Guest

Early Signs and Escalations in Youth Offending

• The daughter’s behavioral issues started in early adolescence, triggered by feelings of abandonment after her birth father reconnected but then cancelled future visits.

  • Quote [01:37]:

    “She decided that if I'm not even worthy to be loved by my father, I mustn't be worthy to be loved by anybody. And she started playing up.” – Guest

• She was suspended from school multiple times for truancy, theft, possession of alcohol, and vaping.

The Cycle of Victimization and Offending

• The daughter became the victim of an orchestrated, violent assault by peers—her so-called best friend and others—resulting in humiliation and theft, all recorded on video.

  • Only two perpetrators faced charges due to their age; the rest received minimal consequences.

• This incident deepened her alienation, resulting in repeated running away and longer absences from home.

Legal and Institutional Responses

• As a foster carer, the guest was obligated to report her daughter missing each time; police involvement became routine.
• The foster care agency's support faltered when the daughter was on the run, discontinuing allowances and cutting off information, further isolating the foster mother.
  • Quote [04:22]:

    “I became very well known in the police department... the foster agency said to me, you're no longer her carer because we're not paying you the foster care allowance. And so you're now nothing to her.” – Guest

Deeper Involvement in Offending

• The daughter joined peers committing credit card fraud.

  • Quote [04:22]:

    “She'd been charged with 16 charges of credit card fraud... they got a slap on the wrist because they were 15 years old. So, again, absolutely zero consequences.” – Guest

• She disappeared for months at a time, essentially couch-surfing, engaging in petty crimes alongside older youths, sometimes under the influence and control of exploitative adults.

Runaways, Shelter, and Darker Developments

• During COVID lockdowns, the daughter returned home briefly asking for help because “something bad's going down.” The mother broke quarantine restrictions to bring her back.

• Shortly after, the daughter’s cohort was involved in a fatal bashing of another young person. The daughter, spared only by chance, was with her foster mother and cleared by police.

  • Quote [08:58]:

    “Something is bad's gone down last night and the people that she was with have been involved in the bashing death of a young man.” – Police call as relayed by Guest

  • Quote [09:07]:

    “She either would have been implicated in the bashing or as doing the bashing or being bashed. So she was 100% not involved because she was in her bed in our home.” – Guest

• The guest emphasizes that previous “slaps on the wrist” didn’t deter serious escalation.

Parental Responsibility: A Flawed Narrative

• The host confronts the tension between calls for “tough love” or holding parents financially responsible, and the reality of caregivers doing their utmost amid chaotic circumstances.

  • Quote [10:34]:

    “So many people were saying the parents should pay… for me, that’s just punishing me more and not punishing her at all.” – Guest

• The guest strongly refutes the idea that “bad parenting” is at the root, or that financial penalties for carers are just or effective.

  • Quote [11:21]:

    “I had no control over her… I don't agree that the parents should be held liable.”

Systemic and Service Failures

• Attempts to access more intensive intervention—such as trauma-informed boot camps—were blocked by agencies citing insufficient assurance of trauma-sensitive practices.

  • Quote [11:52]:

    “I tried to get her into like a boot camp… but the foster agency forbid that because it didn’t say trauma informed on the website. I was desperate. I would have done anything.” – Guest

Aftermath, Reflection, and Hopes

• Ultimately, while her daughter has “settled” more since a serious illness led her to briefly seek shelter, relapses occurred. The guest’s wish is simple:
  • Quote [14:21]:

    “My job as a mum is to raise a child who's a good citizen… I just want her to be a good person, just be happy, just contributing in some worthwhile way to the community she's living in.” – Guest

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "So you're asking me to promise to love this child for the rest of my life? ... I'm in." (Guest, [00:46])
• "She decided that if I'm not even worthy to be loved by my father, I mustn't be worthy to be loved by anybody. And she started playing up." (Guest, [01:37])
• "They bashed her for an hour... they videoed it. They made her kiss their shoes, which is apparently a thing." (Guest, [02:19])
• "I was wishing that we could just go off and move to an island for three years until she got through this awful age." (Guest, [12:35])
• "I just want her to be a good person, just be happy, just contributing in some worthwhile way to the community she's living in." (Guest, [14:21])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:46 – Foster care beginnings; decision to become a lifelong carer
• 01:37–03:30 – Early offending escalates after birth parent's rejection and school expulsions
• 03:30–04:22 – Violent assault by peers; inadequacy of legal response for juveniles
• 04:22–05:50 – Police involvement, reports of missing person status, first major crimes
• 06:30–08:00 – Disconnection from foster agency, deeper involvement with criminal peers
• 08:00–09:10 – Return home during COVID, narrowly avoiding involvement in fatal crime
• 10:34–11:21 – Response to societal calls for parental liability; system critique
• 12:30–13:45 – Attempts to access meaningful intervention; ongoing struggles
• 14:21–15:00 – Reflections and hopes for her daughter's future

Tone and Language

The guest’s tone is raw, forthright, and heartfelt. She moves between exhaustion, frustration, and fierce love—not shying from the brutal emotional toll or the ambiguity of hope. The host adopts her usual empathetic, probing approach, giving space for complexity and counter-narratives to stereotypes about youth crime and family dynamics.

Summary

This episode offers a powerful, ground-level view of youth offending in suburban Australia—puncturing myths about “bad parenting” and “easy solutions.” The foster mother’s account unearths the systemic cracks through which vulnerable young people fall, showing how trauma, inadequate consequences, and institutional inflexibility can coalesce into cycles of crime and harm. Her story is a challenge to simplistic callouts for punitive remedies, revealing how, sometimes, unconditional love and endurance are all a carer has left.