FAITH > Hope

Summary

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Autism Parenting Secrets – Episode Summary

Podcast: Autism Parenting Secrets
Hosts: Len Arcuri & Cass Arcuri
Episode: FAITH > Hope
Date: December 26, 2024

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Len Arcuri presents a concise but impactful message for autism parents: the importance of embracing faith as a guiding principle, which he argues is even more powerful than hope. Drawing from personal experience and insights gained through supporting families, Len explains how shifting from mere hope to steadfast faith cultivates peace, confidence, and empowerment in a parent’s journey. He offers practical steps for building faith and discusses the profound emotional and practical implications of this mindset shift.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Defining Faith Versus Hope

• Hope is described as essential and energizing, especially in challenging times. It represents longing and aspiration but can sometimes feel fragile or just out of reach.
  • "Hope on its own can often feel fragile, almost like wishful thinking. [...] If you're hoping for something, you're kind of hedging your bets." — Len (05:10)
• Faith goes beyond hope by offering rock-solid confidence and trust, especially in times of uncertainty.
  • "Faith is an unwavering confidence and trust, particularly self trust. And it's a certainty that doesn't require evidence." — Len (06:04)

2. Why Faith Matters for Autism Parents

• Faith brings about an empowered state, shifting parents from fear and uncertainty to peace and clarity.
  • "With that faith, you can weather any storm. And it may seem to defy logic and even common sense." — Len (07:11)
• The diagnosis is framed as a wake-up call—a catalyst to make changes and grow as both parents and individuals:
  • "This diagnosis, in one way or another, is a wake up call. It's a call to action." — Len (14:32)

3. The Role of Humility and Acceptance

• Faith requires humility, accepting that not everything is within our control and trusting a higher purpose or plan.
  • "Faith is bold and trusting, but it's not brash or arrogant. It's grounded in humility and a deep sense of purpose." — Len (17:38)
• Acceptance is summarized as the foundation for peace:
  • "Faith is about acceptance. Not hiding or pretending, but fully embracing what is." — Len (12:33)

4. Real-World Application and Emotional Impact

• Len shares a story of a mom who felt "trapped in a prison" of her mind, emphasizing how faith is the way out.
  • "The only way out of that prison is faith. Faith in yourself, faith in the creator, faith in your child." — Len (19:37)
• The message: Merely hoping isn’t enough—without faith, hope can lead to inner turmoil rather than peace.

5. Practical Steps for Building Faith

Len offers a three-step framework for moving from hope to faith:

• Acknowledge Your Hopes: "Dream big. Aim high for your child and for yourself." (21:08)
• Build Your Faith: "Trust in your capacity, your capabilities, and the incredible potential within your child, even if you can't see it right now." (21:18)
• Let Go of Control: "Release the need for things to unfold exactly as you expect. Trust that there is a greater plan at work." (21:32)

6. Coaching and Support

• Len recommends seeking support, including coaching, to help parents see blind spots and achieve clarity.
  • "It's not about doing more. It's about doing the right things that move the needle for your child and for your family." — Len (23:05)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Faith & Common Sense:
  • "Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to." (Quoting Miracle on 34th Street) — Len (08:33)
• On Self-Trust:
  • "Faith is something that you actually have control over. It's about choosing trust—self trust, trust in some higher power." — Len (09:18)
• On Letting Go:
  • "Faith requires that trust. It requires that humility and the letting go of the need to control every outcome." — Len (11:02)
• On Empowerment:
  • "Faith isn't just a mindset, it's a superpower and it's already within you." — Len (24:05)
• Encouragement for Listeners:
  • "Grow your faith, step into your power, and watch as your child's potential unfolds in ways you never imagined." — Len (24:25)

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Key Segments with Timestamps

• Introduction to Episode’s Theme – 01:04–05:10
• Faith vs. Hope: The Core Distinction – 05:10–07:11
• The Practicality and Necessity of Faith – 07:11–11:02
• Humility, Acceptance, and Resilience – 11:02–14:32
• Diagnosis as a Wake-Up Call & Parental Response – 14:32–17:38
• Personal Story and Mental Health Realities – 19:37–21:08
• Three Steps for Building Faith – 21:08–21:45
• Encouragement and Closing Advice – 23:05–24:35

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Conclusion

Len Arcuri’s solo episode is a heartfelt message encouraging autism parents to actively build and embrace faith—for themselves, their children, and something larger than themselves. Faith, he argues, is the true catalyst for peace, motivation, and effective parenting in the face of uncertainty. Through tangible steps, real-life stories, and empowering language, he provides a blueprint for transforming the journey after an autism diagnosis from one of fear and uncertainty to one filled with clarity, calm, and genuine empowerment.

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Transcript

[A]

Faith is bold and trusting, but it's not brash or arrogant. It's grounded in humility and with a deep sense of purpose. And right now, that purpose is to make great decisions for your child to be the parent you want to be, for your child to be the parent your child dreams of. And you simply can't be at peace without faith.

[B]

Want to truly be the best parent you can be and help your child thrive after their autism diagnosis? This podcast is for all in parents like you who know more is possible for your child.

[A]

With each episode, we reveal a secret that empowers you to be the parent your child needs now, saving you time, energy, and money and helping you focus on what truly matters most. Your child.

[B]

I'm Cass.

[A]

And I'm Len.

[B]

Welcome to Autism Parenting Secrets.

[A]

Welcome to Autism Parenting Secrets. It's Len, and you're in for a treat because I have several dynamite episodes coming up from my conversations with presenters at last month's Documenting Hope conference. And if you're not familiar with Documenting Hope, I strongly encourage you to support their mission. And you can access all the videos and presentations from this conference if you weren't able to attend in person at a really reasonable price. And I will include a link to their site where you could look into that. But in the meantime, it's holiday season when this episode is coming out, so I'm going to keep it to another short yet impactful episode. The secret this week is a powerful one. Faith is greater than hope. And the importance of that concept is that with a shift towards faith, this is how you get closer to true empowerment. It can help you shift from fear and uncertainty to peace and confidence. And so that's why this one concept of how faith is even greater than hope is a powerful one. Now, hope is beautiful. So I am not in any way diminishing the power of hope. It's energizing. And it's often what keeps us moving forward during really, really challenging times. So do not stop hoping. And as a matter of fact, get your hopes up. Go bigger, dream bigger. But hope on its own can often feel fragile, almost like wishful thinking. It's something we want, something we long for. But at least within myself, hoping sometimes just feels like it's out of reach. It can feel a little bit apprehensive, unsure, hesitant comes to mind in many ways. If you're hoping for something, you're kind of hedging your bets. The concept, while absolutely useful when you compare it to faith. Faith, on the other hand, is more certain. It's Rock solid. Faith is an unwavering confidence and trust, particularly self trust. And it's a certainty that doesn't require evidence. So many times on this podcast, the concept of beliefs pop up, and it's no different here, because we're talking about the belief that even if the road ahead is unclear, you don't know how it's going to unfold. You don't know what the steps are going to be. Even if that's true, that it is unclear, you can have a belief that there is some greater plan unfolding for your child or for you or for your whole family with that faith, that there is a greater plan. Then with that faith, you can weather any storm. And it may seem to defy logic and even common sense. I love holiday movies. Miracle on 34th street is a classic. And there's one very, very powerful line in that movie. That is when the Santa Claus character says to the girl in the episode, Susan, that he says to her that faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to. And even though that's a quaint holiday film, that's a powerful message, a really, really powerful message, because faith is something that you actually have control over. It's about choosing trust, self trust, trust in some higher power. It's about choosing trust over fear and about accepting that things will not work out. Not necessarily the way you want, not in the timeframe you'd like, but the way they're destined to, according to the universe's plan, the creator's plan, God's plan, whatever you're believing in, if you do believe in a higher power of some form, whatever you call that higher power, that's the shift here, to have humility that we don't have all the answers and can't control everything, there's a higher power at play. So faith requires that trust. It requires that humility and the letting go of the need to control every outcome. So the shift here is about you having the opportunity to step into more certainty in yourself, in your child, and in the universe and what's happening. So how do you shift from hope to faith? First, recognize that faith is twofold. It begins with an acknowledgement of what is true right now, and that is what's true right now about your unique power and capabilities as a parent and the resilience as well within your child. Acknowledging that your child has that resilience has an incredible capacity and potential to thrive. So with that initial acknowledgment for yourself and your child, the second step is about letting go of the need to control exactly how things are going to unfold. So faith is really trusting the process and releasing that anxiety of trying to micromanage every outcome. So, simply put, faith feels very different. It's a bold yet humble trust. Faith says, I've got this, even if there's no immediate evidence to prove it. And that faith radiates to your child. It's a certainty that their potential will unfold, even if you can't yet see it. So faith is about acceptance. Not hiding or pretending, but fully embracing what is. And that is the first step that allows a greater peace to take hold. And if your beliefs aren't aligned with faith, then automatically as parents, we generate fear of the future, shame and guilt of the past, and just a miserable journey overall that feels really, really hard. But when you have faith, sincere faith in yourself, faith in your child, and faith in some, some higher power, you will feel a greater sense of calm and clarity. Faith quiets that noise in your mind and replaces chaos with confidence. This diagnosis, in one way or another, is a wake up call. It's a call to action. To make changes in how we live, how we think, and how we care for ourselves and our child. Our kids are the canaries in the coal mine, showing us where the world needs to change from what we eat to how we live and minimize the toxins in our environment. This wake up call demands that we take inconvenient but necessary action. So the question is, how will you respond? Will you respond powerfully by equipping yourself to make great decisions? By trusting your intuition and seeking support, by stepping out of isolation and allowing others to help? So humility and faith go hand in hand. Faith is bold and trusting, but it's not brash or arrogant. It's grounded in humility and with a deep sense of purpose. And right now, that purpose is to make great decisions for your child to be the parent you want to be, for your child to be the parent your child dreams of. And you simply can't be at peace without faith. More hope alone won't get you there. And hope without faith just creates the chaos. One recent mom shared with me that she felt like she was trapped in a prison of her own mind. It totally resonated with me what she was expressing. The only way out of that prison is faith. Faith in yourself, faith in the creator, faith in your child. Faith is the key to moving forward with clarity and confidence. With that message. How do you put this into practice? Step one, acknowledge your hopes. Dream big. Aim high for your child and for yourself and then build your faith. That's step number two. Trust in your capacity, your capabilities, and in the incredible potential within your child, even if you can't see it right now. And then the third step is let go of control. Release the need for things to unfold exactly as you expect. Trust that there is a greater plan at work. And if you're looking for ways to build that faith, I humbly suggest you consider one on one coaching. I've dedicated my life to helping parents like you see what they can't see, to uncover their blind spots and to make decisions with clarity and confidence. And it's not about doing more. It's about doing the right things that move the needle for your child and for your family. That faith. You don't need anyone's permission, but it's hard to do on your own. Faith isn't just a mindset, it's a superpower and it's already within you. So grow your faith, step into your power, and watch as your child's potential unfolds in ways you never imagined. So thank you for listening to this and until next time, say yes to yourself. Trust yourself even more. Trust in your child's capabilities and embrace this journey with faith. Your child wants you to transform your now, and the fastest way to do that is with personalized support. To learn more, go to allinparentcoaching.com intensive.