Sometimes You Need To MOVE

Summary

Podcast Summary: Autism Parenting Secrets

Episode: Sometimes You Need To MOVE

Hosts: Len & Cass Arcuri
Date: April 13, 2023

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Episode Overview

This episode tackles the theme: Sometimes You Need To MOVE. Drawing on their personal experience, hosts Len and Cass Arcuri unpack the critical role your environment plays in your child’s health and healing journey after an autism diagnosis. They detail why they made the difficult decision to relocate their family—twice—prioritizing environmental safety and health, and share the practical lessons learned so parents can make informed decisions about optimizing their own homes for their children's wellbeing.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Importance of Environment for Healing ([01:25])

• The Arcuris emphasize that your physical environment has a direct effect on your child’s overall “total load” of stressors and toxins:
  • "We learned early on from phenomenal leaders... all of them fully agree on this concept of total load, that for the child who's on the autism spectrum...there's a total load that just becomes too much." – Len (03:52)
  • Even newborns may already have a "body burden," making it essential to reduce additional exposures.
• When their son Ry was diagnosed and his health was in crisis, they left their "dream house" for a rented apartment with non-toxic materials and purified air and water ([02:35–03:50]).

2. The 'Total Load' Theory – Why Changes Matter ([03:52–05:36])

• Modern children face more toxins than ever before.
• Reducing environmental toxins—food, water, air, products—matters:
  • "As much as you can kind of minimize any additional stressors, especially from the environment, things like food, things like personal care products, all of these things matter." – Cass (04:58)

3. When Small Changes Aren't Enough: Deciding to Move ([07:05–08:25])

• Sometimes home modifications help, but when issues are too severe, moving can be necessary—even if inconvenient.
• "Nobody likes to move. It's the most inconvenient thing you can do. But early on it was necessary for us." – Len (07:53)

4. Criteria for a Healing Home Environment

a) Minimizing EMFs and Smart Home Tech ([08:25–11:12])

• Look for homes with low electromagnetic fields (EMF); avoid living near power lines or cell towers.
• New smart homes default to high WiFi and EMFs; the Arcuris sought homes wired for ethernet.
  • "Dumbing down your house is a power move." – Len ([09:52])
  • Use timers on WiFi routers to power them down at night.
• Avoid home Internet services based on 5G.
  • "There's no evidence that 5G is harmful. There's also no evidence that 5G is safe. So we take the precautionary principle..." – Len (12:04)

b) Managing Dirty Electricity ([12:43–14:53])

• Use a dirty electricity meter to assess and filters to reduce electrical pollution.
• Acceptable levels: below 100; older homes tend to have higher levels.
  • "Our last house was over 400 on average...After we used the filters, we knocked it down to around 100." – Len (14:00)

c) Prioritizing Air Quality & Ventilation ([15:13–16:56])

• Having windows that open, good airflow, and air quality monitoring is crucial.
• Devices like Air Visual give real-time feedback and alerts for air quality.
  • "This Air Visual actually shows me when it's time to open the windows or open the door because of the gas that you are using to cook with." – Cass (16:07)

d) Ensuring Clean Water ([17:59–20:37])

• Use effective filters, ideally reverse osmosis, for drinking and bathing water.
  • "It's also really important for bathing and taking a shower." – Len (18:24)
• Don’t rely solely on municipal reports for water safety.

e) Maximizing Natural Light & Outdoor Access ([20:37–21:43])

• Outdoor exposure and natural light, especially morning light, support circadian rhythm and general wellbeing.
  • "Morning light is so important for so many of your systems." – Cass (21:09)

f) Avoiding Mold ([21:43–24:07])

• Mold exposure is highly impactful and challenging to remediate.
• Mold can be an unrecognized but major contributor to health issues:
  • "Dr. K was saying that about, at least in his estimation, 50% of autism cases are mold related." – Cass (23:22)
  • Proper inspection (not just basic house testing) is a must; musty smells are a red flag.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• "Dumbing down your house is a power move." — Len (09:52)
• "Want to discover your Autism Parenting Blind Spot? Take our free quiz today..." — Cass (27:30)

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Guidance & Reassurance ([00:00], [24:07], [26:33])

• Don’t aim for perfection or panic—incremental changes help significantly.
  • "You don't need to get to perfect. You definitely don't need to freak out and panic. It's about understanding where you are taking some actions." – Len (24:07)
• Be open to moving if necessary, but substantial improvements are possible in most environments.

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Personal Reflections and Physical Outcomes

• Cass experienced her own health benefits—eczema resolved within days of moving ([25:57]).

  • "Within a couple of days of moving here, my eczema's kind of gone. So...my own burden had my cup hath runneth over." – Cass

• The family is optimistic that improving their environment will bring further health gains, both for their son and themselves.

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Important Timestamps

• 00:00–01:25: Introducing the secret: "Sometimes You Need To Move"
• 02:35–03:52: Story of the first move after their son's diagnosis
• 03:52–05:36: Explaining the "total load" theory
• 08:25–11:12: Discussing EMFs and minimizing smart tech in the home
• 12:43–14:53: Dirty electricity—measurement and mitigation
• 15:13–16:56: Importance of air flow, using air quality monitors
• 17:59–20:37: Water—why and how to filter drinking and bathing water
• 21:43–24:07: Mold—why it’s a critical consideration
• 25:57–26:33: Personal anecdote—health improvements post-move
• 26:33–27:30: Big takeaway—environment matters, and control is possible

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Core Takeaways

• Your home environment has a direct, powerful impact on your child's well-being—sometimes more than any other factor you can control.
• Begin with small, actionable steps to lower toxins and improve atmosphere—but stay open to relocation if necessary.
• Assess: EMFs, dirty electricity, air quality, water, natural light, and especially mold.
• Trust yourself to make incremental improvements. But if compromises or remediation aren’t enough, moving may be the healthiest option—even if inconvenient.
• You don't have to tolerate a toxic environment. Your family’s well-being is worth the effort to make a change.

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Listen for detailed resources, book and guest episode recommendations in the show notes.

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Transcript

[A]

Whatever your environment is, it's useful for you to have an awareness of what stressors exist and to take some actions to improve the situation. But you don't need to get to perfect. You definitely don't need to freak out and panic. It's about understanding where you are taking some actions. And if the actions that you can take aren't enough, then yeah, be open to picking up and moving. As inconvenient as it may be, we just know for us, it was well worth it.

[B]

Want to truly be the best parent you can be and help your child thrive after their autism diagnosis? This podcast is for all in parents like you who know more is possible for your child.

[A]

With each episode, we reveal a secret that empowers you to be the parent your child needs now, saving you time, energy and money and helping you focus on what truly matters most, your child.

[B]

I'm Cass.

[A]

And I'm Len.

[B]

Welcome to Autism Parenting Secrets. Hello and welcome to Autism Parenting Secrets. This is Cass and Len and I are here today talking to you from our new home studio because we recently moved. And so the secret this week that we're talking about is sometimes you need to move.

[A]

And there's a little bit of a backstory here. So, yes, finding a place for us to live and to be able to have a home office was one key thing we wanted to do. But overall, we're also. This is another example of us practicing what we preach. And so we wanted to share this with you because a lot of people do take action to create an environment, the most healthful, supportive environment for their family. And there's a lot that you can do, which is why this is such a key area to focus on. And an incredible amount of opportunities await you. But sometimes fixing or kind of creating, making changes to make your current environment aren't enough. And we've now dealt with that twice. And it goes all the way back to when we first received Raya's diagnosis and first heard the word autism and knew that we had to make major changes in order to help our son at that point because he was having severe health issues. And we knew that we had to do something to create a more healthful environment, right?

[B]

So when he was diagnosed, his health had crashed at the same time. And so we knew that he already had a body burden, right? So there was already stuff going on with him. So we wanted to make sure that we created a healing environment for him. And so we left what we thought was going to be our dream house and we moved into an apartment that we Were renting. We sold our house. This was back, you know, what, 2008. And we basically had two weeks to vacate at that time. So we moved into what we thought was going to be a healing bubble. Right. So we were lucky. The environment was non toxic materials. They even purified our air and water. We were really close to Len's office. We could actually see his office from our apartment, which for him was like, there was no, like, hello, I can see you at your desk. Come home, help me. So it was kind of funny. But, you know, creating that environment for Ry was kind of critical because we wanted to make sure we weren't adding to, you know, his health crisis, but also his diagnosis. Right. So how can we, how could we set him up for success? So with that, what we had done years ago, we kind of found ourselves in a similar situation this year.

[A]

True. But just to go back a little bit on what you were saying, for anyone who's listening, where this maybe doesn't make any sense, we learned early on from phenomenal leaders like Dr. Martha Herbert, who's been on our podcast. We'll include that in the show, notes Beth Lambert, who heads up the Epidemic Answers and specifically the Documenting Hope project that you've heard us mention. Patty Lemmer, who's been on twice, who has been at this, trying to help in so many ways. Parents who are trying to support their child as well, all of them fully agree on this concept of total load, that for the child who has, who's on the autism spectrum or just a child who has health issues, that a way of looking at this is that there's a total load that just becomes too much. That these kids are exposed to so many more toxins than we were and when we were growing up. And that some kids, when they're born, already have a cup that's already pretty full.

[B]

Right. If you go back to that environmental working group study that came out, what, over 15 years ago that showed like 238 chemicals in your baby's cord blood. And so you think about, here's a newborn baby, you think that they're all pure and everything's clean and you're kind of starting fresh. It's like, no, they already have a burden coming in. And so as much as you can kind of minimize any additional stressors, especially from the environment, things like food, things like personal care products, all of these things matter. Water matters, you know, the air you breathe.

[A]

Yeah. So Total load theory is all about the fact that all these kids may already have pretty full cups in terms of the toxic burden that they're already experiencing. So any insults that they experience, whether it's toxins in the food, air, water, etc. It all matters. So that's why when we were living in what we thought was our dream home or brownstone in Brooklyn, there were a lot of issues there. That's an old brownstone. There was likely mold. There was likely old copper pipes. There's a lot in there that we were convinced was going to contribute to further harm for our son, which is why we picked up and moved into a place that Cass mentioned. We were able to do that, and that made a big difference. So now with that total load theory in mind, fast forwarding to today. We're going through a similar situation, actually have been over the last couple weeks.

[B]

And we've always been mindful of where we've lived because we've tried to minimize, you know, if we have the option, we would prefer wood floors. We always, you know, you have that ability sometimes to pick and choose, sometimes you don't. We've been renting these, the last house we were living in, as well as this house. They're rentals, so you sometimes don't have as much leeway as rel relates to making specific demands. And what we have found with this new place that we're in, it feels like it was truly divine intervention.

[A]

Yeah. So we found a place that checked a lot of our boxes and we wanted to go through because I think parents do ask us a lot in terms of what to look for, what changes to make with their current house. So we're going to go through our thought process and to whatever extent this might be useful for you as you're just evaluating your current environment. Because the great thing here is that whatever your current state is, how toxic your environment might be, simple, minor changes can make a gigantic difference. But sometimes it makes sense to pick up and move. And we were willing to do that early on because, and I say we were willing to do it. Our hand was kind of forced because our son's health issues were so serious that we were desperate and willing to pick up and move. Because, let's be honest, nobody likes to move. It's the most inconvenient thing you can do. But early on it was necessary for us. And just now we did the same thing because the time had come where making changes to where we were just really wasn't feasible, wasn't worth it. And so we picked up, dealt with the inconvenience of a move and are feeling really good now that we have a much more healthful environment for our family.

[B]

Right? And a lot of times when you're moving into something like new construction, which we happen to be in now, especially a couple years ago when we were looking, you come into things like smart homes, right? So they're, you know, all about the WI FI system that's built into these smart homes. Most of them have like, you know, the digital doorbells that have the cameras that are emitting EMFs, you know, all of these things. And amazingly, we actually found new construction that is actually hardwired. So we actually have totally what we, you know, what we talk about in all of these episodes when we talk about wi fi and EMFs and dirty electricity and things. And this was one of our must haves. So to be able to find actually a new construct building that is wired for us was amazing.

[A]

And it wasn't a must have. It was like a big. We were hoping we would be able to find something like this and didn't think that any new construction would have ethernet ports. And so we were very fortunate that this is how it all worked out. But the requirement, if we go back in terms of what were we looking for? When we coach parents, there's five areas of how they're navigating. And so the one key area, one of those five key areas is to curate the environment, to create a more healthful, physical environment surrounding you and your child. So in that context, one of the things we look for, as Cass mentioned, is we wanted something that was a lower EMF environment. And most new construction, they're really promoting how they're all smart homes. Everything's connected to WI Fi. And, you know, if you've listened to this podcast, you've heard enough of the episodes talking about the importance of minimizing EMFs, particularly radio frequencies, which is WI Fi. And so that is something to look for if you can go and have a place that you're living in that's not smart, or if you're in your current home not making it smart with things like Alexa and Siri and devices that are constantly transmitting through, through your WiFi or through Bluetooth. Dumbing down your house is a power move. So that's one thing we looked for. We're fortunate enough to find a house that allowed us to have hardwired connections without cables running through the house, because that makes a huge difference.

[B]

And the other thing too, that we look for is we don't want to be by power lines, and we also don't want to be near cell towers. And so that's the other amazing thing about where we ended up is we are far enough away from each of those.

[A]

Yeah, those matter. But truly the biggest danger is, or the biggest source of stress is going to be what you're creating within the home. So yes, don't live near a cell tower and all that, but otherwise it's the WI fi in your house that's the bigger problem. So there's things you can do and we talk about it all the time. Just put that WI fi router on a timer so it goes off at night while you're sleeping, when you're not using it, and everyone will sleep better. And the overall EMF stress in the house will be down. But otherwise make sure you don't have boosters to boost the signal throughout the house because that's just making a problem situation much worse. And the other thing we learned in looking at our options is that we definitely want an Internet connection that is either the old fashioned cable type connection or even the satellite connections and Starlink are pretty decent options. But now especially there's a lot of providers that have Internet connections that are 100% 5G. And so we said no to that. And again, there's no evidence that 5G is harmful. There's also no evidence that 5G is safe. And so we take the precautionary principle and would try to minimize 5G and definitely don't want our house Internet based on that. So that's our thought process with respect to, you know, having a lower EMF environment. Don't go for a smart home and don't make it smart. And so then in addition to emf, there is this thing called dirty electricity. We talked about it on the episode, on this podcast several times. That also is something where easy to test. You plug in a dirty electricity meter into electrical outlets and you can see what the overall level of dirty electricity is. So with this new construction where we moved to, it was not good. It was high, but not really high and it was easily mitigated with filters that you can buy and we'll include links into the show notes. But again, related to a low EMF environment, you also want to make sure you're not moving into a house or that your house doesn't have this high level of electrical interference, this noise that's coming through the outlets. And it's again something that's easy to measure to determine if you have a problem and easy to correct.

[B]

So Len, tell me with this, if you can just share some numbers, because I Know, we've talked about dirty electricity before. We can put in the show notes, the episode with Stetzer as well as Greenwave. But if you could just give us some numbers so we can kind of better understand what this house was.

[A]

Sure, yeah. The last house we were in, the average was around 400. And the acceptable level, you want it under 100. So our last house was over 400 on average, all outlets. And after we used the filters, we knocked it down to around 100. So we felt pretty decent. With the last place here, new construction, it was much better. I think the average probably was around 150. And in certain bedrooms it was even under 100. So it was already a great environment. We used our filters, knocked it down to now it's in the 20s. And so it's a much more healthful environment. And you'll find that older homes, the outlets get old, there's more likelihood that you'll have this issue. And again, if it's a little over 100, not a big concern. But we dealt with families who their average is in the thousands and there is no question that it's causing harm.

[B]

Right. So that's amazing that we were able to get it down so low. Another important part of this, but things like good airflow, right? Because you want that ability to open up windows, you want to be able to kind of, you know, they say the inside environment is higher pollution than the outside environment. So airflow was important to us.

[A]

You just want to make sure that you have the ability, you know, good screens so you can open the windows, get actual natural air flowing through the home or the apartment. So that's the best way, just get more of the outside air in. Now obviously if you live near a highway, that might be a questionable move, but otherwise you just want, well ventilated environment. Dust can be a real issue. And we're going to look to have an episode that talks about that because it's not a minor thing. So you want good airflow. We had a discussion with Hypoair, which basically has a few different options for parents in terms of creating a cleaner environment from an air perspective. And we actually just recently purchased the Air Visual, which we'll put in the show notes that will show you continuously what the air quality is inside.

[B]

Yeah, and that Air Visual I like right now. So guys, we live vertically. So we live. We're four stories kind of up, it's narrow, but we live vertically. So on our second level is kind of our kitchen, open concept living room. And so that is where this Air Visual is sitting. So it's right next to the kitchen. And this kitchen's a little bit different. The last one we had an electric stove and this one we're now on gas. And it's amazing. This Air Visual actually shows me when it's time to open the windows or open the door because of the gas that you are using to cook with. What we have visually been watching is that impact it has. So to have this Air Visual, I have found a really powerful tool to understand up when I need to ventilate more.

[A]

Yeah. Because the CO2 levels rise, which is. That's what this monitor will show you when you get into kind of a, you know, somewhat of a danger zone or when it's actually a major problem. So having something that continuously monitors and you can get alerts it'll go off is helpful. And again, what's the action? Open up some windows and just get more natural air. So just making sure that you have good airflow is something that was important. It's important for everyone. It was definitely important as we were looking to find a more healthful environment. And so aside from low EMF and acceptable or tolerable dirty electricity and good airflow, then it's about clean water and mold. So let's talk about clean water first. You know, here you're going to have to have some system that you put in. More than likely it's very. It'd be very surprising if the tap water where you are is drinkable and suitable to be consumed or suitable for bathing.

[B]

Well, because that's. Most municipalities put chemicals into the drinking water. So really understanding where your water is coming from, what your local municipality does, is really important. So right now we are using our countertop Aqua True as relates to our drinking water, which is. Does a nice job of filtering out impurance, you know.

[A]

Yeah, the Aqua True is good because it's a reverse osmosis countertop model. There's also an under the sink model, a very affordable way of having reverse osmosis water. Otherwise, a lot of people put in RO systems and they do it at the source and they have that throughout the whole house. That can get a little expensive. But otherwise, to focus on ensuring that you have clean drinking water is essential. And where most people miss is it's also really important for bathing and taking a shower. You want to make sure. Again, going back to when we lived in Brooklyn, the pipes were old and copper and I'm convinced that that was a toxin that I'm excited that we were able to escape the Other thing is every municipality sends out a report every year about how great the drinking water is. So the thing to keep in mind is that the levels, the accept levels that municipalities go with are, well, like very generous ranges. So if you listen to someone like Aaron Brockovich, I mean, those levels in terms of really what's healthy would be much tighter and those reports by municipalities would not be so glowing. So don't just say, hey, I got the report. They say, everything's great. Take action, ensure. And if you can, have your water tested, it's kind of hard to do these days, but if you can send your water out to find out what's in it, that will give you even more of a reason why filtering it yourself in some way, shape or form is a useful thing.

[B]

Right. And I think sometimes people ask me this question often as kind of like, you know, whole house filters. And as you mentioned, they can be great. But sometimes if you're living in a house where you're not quite sure about the pipes and all that stuff, if you have it just at one place in the house, you might miss a lot of the plumbing that goes on after that filtration piece. So you just make sure that you've done your homework and that's truly with anything that you'll experience on your journey. Just make sure you do your homework and you feel confident about those decisions that you're making.

[A]

Yep. And then so finally. Well, actually, before we get to mold, light's also really important. Ensuring that you have some access to be able to be outside, whether it's a deck or just out in our yard or outdoor space. Getting outside. It's crazy how much, pretty much anyone who matters agrees on how incredibly important that is, especially as we're all being bombarded with technology. So that was another thing we looked at in terms of what place was going to be a more healthful environment.

[B]

I think we were also just ready to see the sky again. And the nice thing is where we ended up, you can actually see the sunrise. And so that the other important thing to remember is morning light is so important for so many of your systems. Right. Your circadian rhythm, but also just kind of re grounding yourself so just having that light and just kind of paying attention to where the sun rises. And if you, you know, are in your house, just step outside just to kind of witness this. Each day can be really powerful.

[A]

And then finally mold. And that was really the reason, the main reason why we just picked up because we knew there were some leaks and evidently they were Kind of taken care of. But once you have a leak, unless it's really remediated in a comprehensive way, mold is just not something that you don't want to ignore. And it's again, crazy how many parents we talk to who have that in their history that there were some major leaks, some major work. And, you know, with mold, cracking the code in terms of like, do you have it having the right inspector, what testing to do, testing for the house, testing for yourself, what to see what mycotoxins might be in in the body. It can get to be a slippery slope. But we'll put in the show notes the episode we did with Dr. Pejman Katarayi. Dr. K, he gives a nice overview of this. And there was also a dynamite conversation he did with Mark Hyman's podcast where he goes deeper. So we'll include those in the show notes as well. But we know that rectifying a mold issue is not easy. And since we were renting, it was something we didn't want to deal with in terms of the remediation. So we picked up and didn't spend a lot of money in testing for ourselves. We're in a more healthful environment, and we'll probably run a mycotoxin test in a few months after being in a more healthful environment. So mold is probably of all these that we mentioned, it's definitely one of the most important, if not the most important.

[B]

Well, and I think the stat that Dr. K says, because Dr. K was just also a presenter at the Maps conference that we got to attend, and Dr. K was saying that about, at least in his estimation, 50% of autism cases are mold related. And so this is just kind of thinking about, okay, if I haven't really paid attention here, you know, really consider it. And so this is why it's such an important one. You can't really ignore. And I think sometimes we get, oh, yeah, it just smells a little musty. It's like, well, if it usually smells a little musty, there's probably a bigger problem there. And so kind of really paying attention, attention to those musty smells and those leaks is key.

[A]

Yeah. And two final things. And again, Dr. K, in presenting this is not saying mold causes autism in 50% of the cases he's seeing with all the patients, he sees that mold without a doubt, is a contributing factor and is relevant in so many cases, up to 50%. So here again, it's something to be aware of and to take seriously and just know that in terms of testing, that might be done, especially if you move into a new house, the type of testing they're going to do is they're going to look for catastrophic obvious mold. And if it doesn't have that, they'll say the house is fine. So you would want an inspection company that is more diligent, knows what to look for and has an incentive to be able to share with you what they find. Otherwise, a lot of times as part of closings, the inspectors, the incentive for them is to give a clean bill of health and move on because that keeps the process going. So take this one more seriously and we'll include some good resources. So overall, this is all about just sharing in real time what our thought process is and things that we do. But know that whatever your environment is, it's useful for you to have an awareness of what stressors exist and to take some actions to improve the situation. But you don't need to get to perfect. You definitely don't need to freak out and panic. It's about understanding where you are taking some actions. And if the actions that you can take aren't enough, then, yeah, be open to picking up and moving. As inconvenient as it may be. We just know for us it was well worth it.

[B]

Well, and it's one other just like, fun fact, right? I had started getting eczema on my hand and amazing, within a couple of days of moving here, my eczema's kind of gone. So it's just like you might just assume something's from something else and then you're like, wait a second, my own burden had my cup hath runneth over. And so I, you know, I was seeing my own symptoms. And now we get to kind of also, as we cleaned up the environment, kind of get to peel back the layers to see what will blossom as relates to the health and wellbeing of our family.

[A]

Yeah, no, there were a few health issues that had been going on for a little bit. So we're very hopeful that this environment shift will make a big difference. And really the key message here is your environment does matter. And it's too important just to tolerate a toxic environment, especially because there's so much you can do without breaking the bank. Simple actions you can take to make it better, perhaps significantly better. And that is so well worth it. Now, we haven't even talked about toxic people. That'll be another episode. But from a physical environment perspective, yeah, there's a lot you can do, a lot to watch out for, for sure, but also a lot that you can take control over. Because yes, sometimes you need to move, but there's a lot you can do to make sure that you can take your current environment and make it much better.

[B]

So you don't need to move, but be open to it. Because if you can't improve what needs to be improved, moving may be your answer. Want to discover your time? Autism Parenting Blind Spot Take our free quiz today. Go to allin parent.com go.