A (4:03)
Now, once you see that first trap of focusing on lesser goals, the next question becomes, okay, so how can I actually pursue the bigger, meaningful ones? How do you show up as the parent that your child needs today? And that's where I have an analogy for you. It's a golf analogy. So I want you to picture golf for a moment. Most of you probably don't play golf actively, and that's okay. I don't golf at all. But the analogy still works. A golfer can go it alone. They can carry their own bag. They can make every decision unilaterally, with no input from anybody else. But the best golfers in the world, they all have a caddy. And why is that? It's because a caddy lightens the load, physically and mentally, so the golfer can show up sharper, calmer, clearer. And a caddy doesn't swing the club. They don't take the shot. They help the golfer see what they would never see alone. The wind, the slope, the alignment hazards. They help them get a clearer picture of the moment. So what a great caddy provides is powerful, enhanced awareness, useful insights, helpful questions, and a trusted partner who has the golfer's best interest in mind. And here's the Most parents today are trying to play the hardest course of their life with no one supporting them when they need it the most. There's no one helping them lighten their load. And once you see that, you realize that there's a second trap almost every parent falls into. And it's what I would call the hypocrisy trap. And I fell into all these, by the way. So the hypocrisy trap sounds like this. It would be me saying, I'm all in, but yet I avoid inconvenient actions or the hard conversations that need to be had, or I want to be the best parent I can be, but I'm not doing the inner work to confront my blind spots or shift the habits that keep me stuck. It also includes saying something like that my child deserves the best, but yet I'm allowing myself to run on fumes. And then there's the hardest one, at least for me, the one that weighed so heavily on me when I finally admitted it. I said to myself and to others that I loved my son rai unconditionally. Yet the way I was showing up, my tone, the tension in my face, my disappointment, my aggravation, my frustration, none of that felt like love to him. And that's because I was in love with the child I wanted him to be, not the child that was in front of me. And when I changed that feeling of judgment inside myself and actually began to convey sincere, unconditional love for him as he was, our bond grew tenfold. And just as a side note, it was really eye opening for me that I could go big on my hopes and vision for my son. As I said before, unapologetically wanting more for him, while at the same time operating from a place of pure acceptance for him as he was and even now as he is now, having a bold vision and wanting more isn't opposing you. Accepting your child as they are. You can do both at the same time. And I can't tell you how many people, parents I've talked to, who feel like unconditional love and acceptance for their child is giving up. It is not acceptance. Yes. And then bring your best self forward to take actions that meet your child where they are and help them thrive. You can absolutely do both. So this is another trap, a second trap. The gap between where you want to be and how you're actually showing up. And closing that gap is one of the biggest unlocks on this journey. So underneath both of these traps is the same root, parent disempowerment. It's the overwhelm, the indecision, the confusion, hesitation, constant second guessing. And that's the part I've devoted my life to solving. And ever since my first autism conference in 2009, one question has consumed me. How do I rapidly grow into the aligned, decisive, all in parent my child needs today? That question changed my life. And that's what I'm devoted to helping other parents do rapidly. And I know it's a cliche, but I've spent well over 10,000 hours, probably closer to double that, 20,000 hours, thinking about this problem, trying to solve it, studying, experimenting, learning from hundreds of experts, walking alongside parents through some of the hardest moments of their lives. And for the last five, over five years, actively, I've coached families, parents, one on one, sometimes just a mom Or a dad, sometimes both mom and dad together. And in serving them, I've tried everything. Do it yourself courses, membership communities, group coaching programs, workshops. And after all that, here's what I've learned. Those can all be helpful. But nothing moves the needle faster than personalized, real time, one on one support. Because just like every child is unique and there's a unique combination that's going to unlock their full potential, every parent is unique as well. And the key that unlocks your best self is going to be wildly different than some other parents. And when a parent raises their hand for personalized support, here's what happens. Within one week, your blind spots jump into view. They are revealed, and you see exactly where your power has been slipping. You feel noticeably lighter. And for the first time in a long time, things start making sense. And within a few weeks, just a few weeks, your child's strategy becomes clear. You drop what doesn't matter, you double down on what does. Your decisions sharpen and momentum builds. And one of the strongest examples of that was published about a year and a half ago in the Journal of Personalized Medicine. And it was a case report on twin girls with autism who made amazing progress and whose parents had tried dozens of interventions. And in that report and in their episode on this podcast, those parents shared that this exact coaching program was the catalyst that changed everything. And it didn't replace what they were doing. It helped them finally lead more confidently and more effectively. What I would call heightened leadership. And that's one story among many. I have dozens and dozens of parents who've experienced that same acceleration. And these kids are benefiting significantly. So, bottom line, this work works and the results speak loudly. And now, just to shift to the fact that we're in a very different era, the era of artificial intelligence, AI is powerful, incredibly powerful, but it can't make decisions for your child because AI doesn't change who you are. It amplifies who you are. So if you're drifting, you'll drift faster. And if you're aligned, it can help you accelerate. But after doing this work for so many years, I noticed that parents tend to fall into one of two categories. And the vast majority are in this first category, the drifting parent. The parent who's reactive, definitely overwhelmed, unfocused, moving fast in a number of directions, many possibly the wrong direction. And the drifting parent is where most of us start off. That's definitely where I was. But there's a smaller group of parents who are the decisive parent. They are super aware they have alignment with what they're doing and where they want to go. They're very discerning. They're not throwing the kitchen sink at their child. They're choosing very carefully what makes the most sense for their child. And they're able to take bold action and course correct quickly. So this is the third trap, the drifting trap. And if you're drifting, it's not because you're lazy. It's because you're overloaded, isolated, and just carrying too much alone.
