Podcast Summary: Aware and Aggravated

Episode 53: I Bought A Bible...
Release Date: November 24, 2025
Host: Leo ("Aware and Aggravated")

Overview

In this introspective and raw episode, Leo opens up about a major spiritual turning point: buying a Bible and feeling compelled to confront religious themes he’s avoided for much of his life. The episode traces Leo’s ongoing self-development, experiences of sobriety, his newfound commitment to philanthropy, and a harrowing spiritual attack that leads him to reassess his relationship with faith, Christ, and religion. With his trademark candor and unapologetic tone, Leo explores feelings of inadequacy with giving, the struggle for authentic boundaries, and the spiritual “pressure cooker” he feels himself—and perhaps society at large—are immersed in.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sobriety & a Drive for Generosity

• 37 Days Sober: Leo shares that he’s over a month sober, which has heightened his emotional clarity and self-awareness.
• Desire to Give Back: He details his plan to donate $25,000 to All for Lunch, a vetted nonprofit that pays off school lunch debt.
  • Vetting Donations: Leo is meticulous about verifying the nonprofit’s finances, emphasizing his distrust of corruption and personal integrity in giving.
  • Quote: "I don't like corruption, I don't like bullshit, I don't like scammers, and I don't like liars. I want them all put to death." (08:00)

2. The Sting of Self-Abandonment in Giving

• The Giving Dynamic: Leo unpacks the emotional mechanism behind his urge to give until it hurts—literally seeking the “sting” of self-abandonment to feel he’s done enough for others.

• Boundaries: A recent shift is allowing Leo to give significantly without destabilizing his own plans, which he sees as a healthier pattern.

  • “The only relationship I've ever known with giving is the only time you've done enough is when you feel that sting.” (14:06)
  • Quote: "The sting, the emotional feeling of it, is abandonment. That's the sting that I'm after when I give to people and do for people. And the abandonment is of myself." (17:00)

• Impact on Substance Use: Leo realizes his past tendency to abuse substances is often triggered by overextending himself for others.

3. Spiritual Attack and Religious Awakening

• First Entity Encounter: Leo recounts his first vivid supernatural experience—a mysterious, disappointed entity—leading to a period of emotional upheaval and eventual reformation (46:00).
• The Recent Attack: The heart of this episode is a recent, vivid experience of a “spiritual attack” involving shadowy entities, occurring right after he'd finalized his donation plans.
  • During the struggle, invoking spiritual names—first St. Michael, then Jesus and the Holy Ghost—brings instant peace and ends the attack.
  • Quote: "I said, 'St. Michael, get these motherfuckers.' ...Jesus popped into my mind. I stopped... and said, '1, 2, 3, Holy Ghost, gone.' Why the fuck would I say 1, 2, 3, Holy ghost? ...But it was like peace, immediate, like the shit was gone." (58:15)

4. Grappling with Christ, Religion, and Hypocrisy

• Religious Baggage: Leo discusses being both culturally Christian and Muslim-adjacent but feels alienated by religious institutions' hypocrisy and history of abuse.
  • “I've been so irritated with seeing religious evil disguised as for the right thing. Shove it up your ass. I will see you in hell.” (35:30)
• Reluctance and Discomfort: Admitting it’s deeply uncomfortable to speak Jesus’ name with reverence, Leo pushes through, likening it to coming out as gay.
  • Quote: "To actually put a little bit of honor behind the name Jesus is the most—like my skin is crawling." (43:10)
• Quest for Personal Understanding: He expresses a strong need to read the Bible (and, potentially, the Quran) for himself, undisturbed by others’ opinions.

5. The Nature of God and Divine Justice

• God’s Toughness: Rejects sanitized, lenient images of God; instead, Leo admires a God who is capable of both great good and “mean,” righteous wrath.
  • Quote: "I couldn't ever get behind the thought of God not being vicious. Like, I like people who—not are evil—but I like people who are as equally good as they can be evil. ...God's like that now. I can get behind it." (52:00)

6. Self-Empowerment, Free Will, and Spiritual Warfare

• Spiritual Agency: Leo realizes that waiting for an external force—God or Devil—to intervene in his life is fruitless. The true transformation must come from within.
  • Quote: "All God can do is wake you up, I can't change it for you. ...We all have a soul, we all have life force… You can't just try to pray something away." (01:09:00)
• Sobriety as Spiritual Resistance: Leo concludes that many struggles—addiction, codependence, self-abandonment—are intimately tied to spiritual warfare, a battle he increasingly perceives is going on for many people right now.
• The Slide Metaphor: “Blessings from the devil just feel like going down a slide. It's easy... But you don't know where you're going.” (01:12:00)

Memorable & Notable Quotes

• On Nonprofit Vetting:
  "Typically, if you ask a nonprofit for their audits for their financial shit, they're not going to. They're going to ghost you. You're never going to hear from them again." (10:30)
• On Personal Boundaries:
  "Nobody's entitled to my resources. Nobody's entitled to shit. I'm do what I want with it." (22:30)
• On Reluctance Toward Religion:
  "I'm the last motherfucker y'all want to come into a spiritual realm and get involved in churches because I'm going to be the biggest implosion to it. I cannot stand corruption." (36:10)
• On Dual Nature of God:
  "I couldn't ever get behind the thought of God not being vicious. Like, I like people who—not are evil—but I like people who are as equally good as they can be evil." (52:00)
• On Agency in Spiritual Life:
  "God can't make a change for you. You have to do it. All God can do is put you in a pressure cooker... to save yourself." (01:09:00)
• On Spiritual Warfare and Sobriety:
  "There's definitely a fight going on. And I think there's a bigger fight going on for a lot more people than anyone realizes—go sober. I didn't just say that." (01:21:00)

Important Timestamps

• 00:40 Nervousness & Introduction to Buying the Bible
• 03:00 Discussion of school lunch debt donation and nonprofit vetting
• 17:00 The “sting” of giving and self-abandonment
• 30:00 Reflection on boundaries and clarity since distancing certain people
• 35:30 Christian hypocrisy and “religious evil”
• 43:00 Discomfort with revering Jesus’ name
• 46:00 First supernatural entity experience in Dallas
• 55:00 Recent spiritual attack: encounter with dark entities
• 58:15 Invoking spiritual names and instant peace
• 01:09:00 Realization of self-responsibility and nature of divine help
• 01:12:00 “Blessings from the devil” and the slide metaphor
• 01:21:00 Spiritual warfare and sobriety

Tone & Language

The episode maintains Leo’s signature blunt, no-bullshit style laced with humor, vulnerability, and moments of intense candor. His language is explicit, irreverent, and emotionally charged, as he threads raw personal stories with sweeping commentaries on spirituality and society.

Final Thoughts

This episode is a powerful glimpse into the turbulence of spiritual awakening, self-discovery, and the messy, courageous work of setting boundaries and questioning inherited narratives. Leo’s journey—from finding a nonprofit to confronting literal and metaphoric demons—lays the groundwork for future explorations both in faith and self-ownership. For listeners grappling with their own boundaries, sobriety, or spiritual uncertainty, Leo’s honesty and self-inquiry offer both solidarity and a challenge to push deeper.