Aware and Aggravated – Episode 54: "Hatred & Righteous Revenge"

Date: November 30, 2025
Host: Leo Skepi (Aware and Aggravated)
Theme: Leveling up your natural state of being by facing public criticism, anger, forgiveness, and the power/danger of wielding social media influence

Episode Overview

In this emotionally charged episode, Leo Skepi reflects on an intense week of personal growth and spiritual struggle triggered by both negative and positive reactions to his public exploration of the Bible and spirituality. While grappling with feelings of hatred and the urge for revenge against online detractors, Leo is forced to confront the limits and responsibilities of his platform, ultimately gaining new insights into forgiveness, power, and the cost of acting from ego versus soul.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Spiritual Tension and Personal Growth

• Leo opens up about his ambivalent relationship with the Bible: he feels both drawn to it and intensely irritated by it. The journey feels like “getting struck by lightning” (00:47).
• He clarifies he’s not looking for religious conversion or “Bible-thumping” but rather personal understanding:

  “I’m not just abandoning everything that I know, think and feel and have been through and have learned just because the Bible is telling me something different. It’s weirdly confirming everything that I’ve already learned and known.” (03:17)

• Realization: The Bible’s teachings on unconditional love challenge Leo, as he admits he has a “very conditional” approach to love and struggles to understand loving everyone, “even those who attack you.” (04:55)

2. Navigating Public Response on Social Media

• Leo discusses the viral reaction to sharing his spiritual journey online— from warm support to severe backlash and misinformation.
• He addresses misconceptions about “turning Christian,” emphasizing he’s just reading the Bible, not converting (06:36).
• Notable quote on public scrutiny:

  “Fame is the worst thing that has ever happened to me... Stop trying to get fame by proxy by being the one who exposes people and brings other people down.” (11:54)

3. Anger and Hatred as a Reaction to Lies

• Leo is candid about feeling deep resentment toward people who have lied about him online all year:

  “I have so much hatred for so many fucking people who have misrepresented my character, lied about me… I do not have forgiveness. I can’t grant it.” (08:35)

• He admits to wishing harm upon his detractors at his lowest point, rationalizing that the pressure and constant attacks are more than most understand (14:33).

4. Holding Back from Online Retaliation

• Leo has repeatedly wanted to retaliate against those spreading falsehoods, recording angry response videos but never posting them—a decision dictated by his “soul.”

  “Every time I recorded a video, I would draft it… My soul told me no, and it started to frustrate the absolute shit out of me…” (21:26)

• He stresses the importance of self-regulation in the face of overwhelming anger and describes trusting his intuition/soul even when it doesn’t make sense at the time.

5. Case Study: The "Kumquat" Incident (25:45)

• Leo introduces “Kumquat”—an individual who made a viral video falsely claiming Leo is “MAGA.” This video led to increased public hostility and even death threats.
• Describes how Kumquat “folded” under comparatively little backlash after Leo tagged them in a response, which was minor compared to what Leo himself endures routinely (30:10).
• This incident is used to illustrate the asymmetric power Leo holds via his audience, and how turning that audience against someone is a far more severe retaliation than any online criticism.
• After seeing the consequences, Leo deletes the comment, recognizing that punishment would have been disproportionate to the original wrongdoing.

6. New Realizations About Power and Responsibility

• Leo’s key takeaway is the humbling realization of the influence he wields:

  “Commenting and tagging Kumquat and seeing how quickly they folded under the pressure made me see the power that I do have… I will never, ever allow you to defend me in a way that would make you look stupid.” (32:33)

• He sets a boundary with himself & God: he doesn’t want his own lessons or self-worth to come at the cost of someone else's suffering.
• He resolves to only “unleash” his audience in response to genuinely harmful actions (bigotry, corruption, abuse), not petty personal attacks:

  “If I ever am gonna speak on somebody, it’s gonna be somebody doing something very, very corrupt… Not just to fuck people up who are talking about me.” (35:51)

7. Shifting from Hatred Toward Forgiveness

• After this experience, Leo feels less compelled to wish harm on his enemies:

  “I don’t hope to Kumquat that I dealt with croaks. I really don’t. I got the message, okay, it’s done, it’s over. I learned and saw what I needed to see… other people, I don’t think I’m bothered enough to wish them to die anymore.” (37:18)

• He recognizes his ongoing challenges with forgiveness and expects more “tests,” but the desire for revenge is fading.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ambivalence Toward Growth/Bible:

  “I want to bite glass. I want to chew through this door to the balcony right now. Oh, irritated. A lot of growth happened, but it’s happened so fast, I’m like, whoa.” (00:47)

• On Hatred:

  “I have so much hatred for so many fucking people... I wish they’d all just die. And for me to be at that point. I don’t feel guilt around saying it.” (14:33)

• On Resisting Revenge:

  “My soul told me no, and it started to frustrate the absolute shit out of me because I felt like I could not defend myself without going against myself.” (21:26)

• Realization of Influence:

  “I do have an audience of people who truly do love me… and I value that and appreciate that more than I can ever put into words.” (32:33)

• Maturity and New Boundaries:

  “I no longer want my strength, power or value reflected to me at the cost of other people... I’m setting a boundary with God. I would like to see it in different ways.” (36:17) “I don’t gotta prove… I could squish you like a little bug. And I’m going to be tempted. But this was a really big lesson for me.” (36:56)

Important Timestamps

• 00:47 – Leo’s ambivalent introduction to his new Bible reading journey and recent explosive growth
• 03:17 – Clarification on seeking understanding, not conversion
• 08:35 – Admitting deep hatred and anger from a year of public lies and attacks
• 11:54 – “Fame is the worst thing that has ever happened to me”
• 14:33 – Wishing harm upon haters and the emotional toll
• 21:26 – On recording but not posting retaliatory videos at his soul’s behest
• 25:45 – The “Kumquat” incident and ethical dilemma in using his platform
• 30:10 – Kumquat crumbling under minor pressure and Leo’s realization of his power
• 32:33 – Recognition of his audience’s loyalty and the responsibility that comes with it
• 35:51 – New commitment to wielding his influence only for truly worthy causes
• 37:18 – Letting go of the need for revenge and moving toward peace

Episode Tone and Style

Leo remains candid, raw, and emotionally intense throughout, lacing deep vulnerability and reflection with dark humor, direct language (“croak,” “rat ass children,” “if you want to fight the truth, motherfucker, let’s fight with it”), and a no-nonsense, tough-love delivery. The episode is confessional, occasionally abrasive, but always self-aware and streaked with spiritual earnestness.

Conclusion

This episode is an exploration of rage, vulnerability, and the heavy burden of influence. Leo’s struggle between egoic vengeance and spiritual restraint unfolds in real-time, offering a compelling look at the cost of public life, the discipline of withholding power, and the slow, uncomfortable shift from hatred toward a more merciful existence. As Leo says, “I got the message, okay, it’s done, it’s over. I learned and saw what I needed to see.”

(End of summary)