Awesome Astronomy – Episode 170: "Artemis II Helium Boogaloo"

Release Date: March 18, 2026
Hosts: Paul and Dr Jeni

Episode Overview

This edition of Awesome Astronomy delivers its trademark blend of warm banter, listener interaction, and an in-depth, no-nonsense guide through the current turmoil and transformative decisions in NASA's Artemis lunar programme. Paul and Jeni start with personal updates (including a dramatic household plumbing saga and a foray into two Michelin star dining), before moving into a detailed, opinion-rich breakdown of recent setbacks and, more crucially, the seismic shakeup in Artemis’s planning under Jared Eisenman's leadership. The latter half of the episode is dedicated to listener emails, with discussions ranging from lunar landing pads to the challenges of British astronomy funding and some stellar astrophotography.

Main Segments & Key Topics

1. Hosts' Life Updates and Banter (00:00–14:23)

• Personal Catch-Ups & Science Communication Woes

  • Jeni laments an overwhelming period: "Science communication is one of those jobs where you have two periods in of time where everything is happening all at once...and it completely overwhelming." (01:11)
  • Continuing issues with "dark matter" drains—resolved through much hands-on effort. Listener support comes through, particularly from Ray "CosmicBlaze" McCarthy, with advice on household plumbing and solidarity. (03:00–05:44)
  • Lighthearted exchange about starting "Dr. Jen's Drain Solutions Limited": "Solving the mysteries of dark matter in space and in your sink." (05:51)

• Michelin Star Experience

  • Jeni describes an elaborate meal at Afiem in Birmingham, focusing on the meticulous artistry and multi-course drama:
    "I had no idea that carrots could taste so good…it's not just going out for dinner. Like the whole thing, it takes hours." (07:34, 09:10)
  • Both hosts reflect on the value of splurge-experiences over holidays, and the ‘theatre’ of top tier restaurants.

• Astro Weather and Teaching

  • Paul bemoans the lack of clear skies for astronomy despite improving weather.
  • Jeni wraps her lecture series for the year, soliciting student-driven topics for next year such as dark matter and the edge of the solar system. (12:28)

2. Artemis II – Technical Drama and Program Overhaul (14:23–38:32)

a. The Helium Boogaloo: Status of Artemis II (14:23–19:09)

• Rocket Setback Recap

  • Artemis II returned to the Vehicle Assembly Building due to a problematic helium seal in the upper stage:
    "So the upper stage...develops a helium leak...a seal got dislodged...but that stem was inhibiting the flow of the helium." (15:01–16:55)
  • The hosts muse about their prophetic accuracy in forecasting such setbacks:

    "We are mystic Millard and prophetic Paul." – Jeni (16:16)
    "We are sitting here with our crystal balls going like, Artemis is not going to go and it's going to go back to baby." – Paul (16:20)

• Near-Future Outlook

  • Despite replacement parts and supplies, April launch seems unlikely. Both predict May or later for rollout, emphasizing NASA's desperation to keep momentum. (17:47–19:09)

b. Program-Wide Overhaul: Jared Eisenman’s Masterstroke (19:13–38:32)

• Why the Overhaul?

  • Paul applauds the decision to take a pause and admit:

    "Artemis is not working. This is not right...I was really excited by this. I was like, finally someone has had the balls to actually stand up and say, Artemis is not working." (19:36)

  • Both critique the old Artemis schedule—dangerous leaps between missions, long gaps:

    "The biggest concern that we've had is the huge gaps between launches and the huge leaps in kind of achievements, technology that's required between missions." – Jen (20:11)

• The New Artemis Timeline

  • Artemis III: Now a low Earth orbit mission (not lunar landing), focusing on practicing rendezvous and docking with one or both human lunar landers (SpaceX Starship and Blue Origin Blue Moon). Scheduled for 2027.

    "The main goal is to practice rendezvous in...with one or both lunar landers..." (21:43)

  • Emphasis on Mission Control Training: Not just a technological practice, but procedural and operational shakedown – likened to Apollo’s stepwise ramp-up (22:17–23:28).
  • Competitor Landers: New competitive push between SpaceX and Blue Origin, with Blue Moon’s 2026 cargo lander possibly leapfrogging Starship’s still-unproven lunar landing capabilities (24:37–26:39).
  • Artemis IV: Earliest projected lunar landing—now scheduled for 2028. Both predict further delays and likely that Artemis IV will be a lunar dress-rehearsal (Apollo 10 equivalent), with first crewed landing slipping to Artemis V around 2029.
  • China’s Timeline: Compared to Apollo-era America; the hosts suggest China’s program is robust and analogous to the Gemini-to-Apollo build up of the 1960s, but 2030 remains a practical target despite media hype. (32:03–35:12)

• Key Quotes & Insight

  "It's not about technology. It's a money thing...given the right money, America and NASA could be on the moon in two years easily." – Paul (27:26)
  "If you're gonna do something as stratospheric as going back to the moon with people, you need the money. Yeah, you do." – Jeni (32:51)
  "What does concern me about both landers though...they are both tall and skinny. All the commercial missions have shown us thus far..." – Jeni (28:39)
  "It's all about: what is it you’re trying to do? ...With Artemis, there's no clear aim...is it a leapfrog to Mars, or is it actually a thing itself?" – Paul (35:28)
  "Jared Eisenman wants cadence of 10 months between launches...That's good, that sense." – Jeni (32:10)

• Summary of the Revamped Plan (37:16–38:09):

  • SLS configuration streamlined for faster manufacture
  • Artemis III: LEO docking practice, 2027
  • Artemis IV: Earliest possible crew lunar landing, 2028 (but both predict a dress rehearsal will come first)
  • Target cadence: one Artemis flight every 10 months

3. Listener Emails & Community Discussion (39:05–53:22)

a. Plumbing, Praise, and Binoculars

• Ray ‘CosmicBlaze’ with sewage advice (03:00)
• Gavin Huggett expresses love for the show and the new sky/moon guide:

  "I absolutely love the show...I also appreciate the effort you put into researching current topics, giving us the benefit of your own expert insight and opinions..." (40:09)

b. Lunar Landing Pads & Technical Queries

• Alastair Frith asks about the feasibility of purpose-built lunar landing pads to prevent "space dildos full of cosmic seamen" from toppling (42:09)
  • Paul & Jeni discuss technical obstacles—landing precision, regolith-based construction (node to upcoming Chinese 3D-printing tests), and how abrasive lunar dust could become a long-term issue if pads aren’t built:

    "There’s a risk that it's actually going to kick up so much stuff...that it will affect landers...It is actually a massive issue." – Paul (44:37)

c. Astrophotography Showcase

• Listener Peter Liverdink shares a Jellyfish Nebula photo, lauded by both for its quality despite the low elevation challenge (49:03, see Astro Bin user Cafuego).
  • Paul: "It still blows my mind that that is the kind of, like, image and detail...you can now...do."

d. Global Astronomy & British Funding Woes

• Multiple emails from Visto vent humorous frustration at British astronomy funding cuts:

  • "It is so sad to hear of the defunding of British astronomy. The once great nation that discovered such things as that line that runs down the entire Earth through Greenwich..." (51:06)

  • Nostalgic laments, offers for Australian aid, and the existential despair from not having emails read for months due to technical snafus.

• The hosts promise a future segment on the state of British astronomy and encourage continued listener emails as their inbox issues are finally resolved.

Notable Quotes (w/ Timestamps)

• "Artemis is not working...someone has had the balls to actually stand up and say..."
  — Jeni, 19:36

• "Too many shortcuts. Trying to do it bizarrely, too quickly."
  — Paul, 31:03

• "What does concern me about both landers...they are both tall and skinny."
  — Jeni, 28:39

• "If you're going to do something as like stratospheric as going back to the moon with people, you need the money."
  — Jeni, 32:51

• "Jared Eisenman wants cadence of 10 months between launches."
  — Jeni, 32:10

• "It's all about: what is it you’re trying to do?...There's no clear aim."
  — Paul, 35:28

Essential Timestamps

• 00:00–14:23: Opening, life catch-ups, listener emails, science comms, Michelin stars
• 14:23–19:09: Artemis II technical setback explained
• 19:13–38:32: Programme overhaul and criticism of NASA's old and new plans
• 39:05–54:07: Listener emails: technical lunar questions, astrophotography, British astronomy, community banter

Takeaways

• Artemis II faced technical issues (helium seal), confirming the hosts' earlier predictions of setbacks; rollout and launch likely delayed until May or later.
• Under new leadership, NASA’s Artemis program is getting a much-needed pragmatic overhaul, introducing more incremental steps between major milestones and enforcing a more sustainable 10-month mission cadence.
• The lunar lander competition between SpaceX and Blue Origin is heating up, with concerns about the practicality and safety of their "tall and skinny" designs.
• China’s methodical approach, while media-hyped as “imminent,” is best likened to Gemini/Apollo—“slow and steady,” aiming for a manned landing by 2030.
• The hosts highlight global funding issues (especially for UK astronomy) and encourage both continued public support and ongoing listener interaction.
• The episode is infused with irreverent, self-aware humour, but ultimately delivers a highly informed, critical perspective on space policy and planning.

For Listeners

• Contact: Email the team at show@awesomeastronomy.com for questions, pictures, or to join the banter.
• Astro Bin Showcase: Visit user "Cafuego" to enjoy Peter's Jellyfish Nebula astrophoto.
• Stay Tuned: Next episodes will include more detailed coverage of British astronomy funding and ongoing Artemis developments.

Episode in a nutshell:
A jovial update on broken drains and stars, a five-course meal of lunar policy analysis, and a bracing call for realism in space exploration—Awesome Astronomy’s chatty Mid-March edition is a must-listen (or read) for any lunar enthusiast or policy wonk hungry for insight buried beneath the headlines.