Trust at work isn't built through big promises or polished corporate statements. It's built in the tiny moments.

In this episode, Erin sits down with bestselling author, speaker, professor, and filmmaker Minda Harts to talk about her framework for the 7 Trust Languages and why trust is really a communication issue hiding in plain sight.

In this episode, you'll hear:

-Why leaders need to stop pretending employees don't see what's happening

-How the 7 Trust Languages can help leaders build stronger relationships

-How to rebuild trust after a mistake without rushing the repair

This episode is for anyone who wants to lead with more honesty, communicate with more humanity, and make work suck a whole lot less.

Minda's Website: https://www.mindaharts.com/

Connect with Minda on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mindaharts/

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DISCLAIMER: This episode is not explicit, though contains mild swearing that may be unsustainable for younger audiences.

Tweetable Comments

"Don't outsource your humanity."

"People are human first and colleagues second."

"Trust is a noun and a verb."

"We can solve for respect, right? We can solve for trust."

Intro Note: This transcript has been edited for clarity, readability, and length while preserving the core conversation and key insights from the episode.

In this episode of b Cause Work Doesn't Have to Suck, Erin Hatzikostas talks with Minda Harts about workplace trust, the seven trust languages, leadership communication, rebuilding trust after mistakes, giving better feedback, psychological safety, and why leaders need to stop outsourcing their humanity.

Why Trust Is the Real Workplace Issue

Erin: I'm fascinated by your background because I'm like, "Oh yeah, she's all about trust. She's a speaker." And then I'm like, "Oh wait, she's a professor. Oh wait, she's a filmmaker. Oh wait, she wrote books."

I'm curious about trust. It's not exactly the sexiest topic, but there must have been a moment or story that made you obsessed with it.

Minda: The obsession actually started during COVID. I was living in New York City at the time, and I woke up around three o'clock in the morning. I kept hearing this voice saying, "The issue is always trust."

I didn't think too much about it in the moment, but I wrote "trust languages" in my notes app. Over time, I kept coming back to it. The more I thought about all the writing I'd done over the years, I realized the real problem I was trying to solve was trust.

In the workplace, when certain things happen, there's usually an expectation underneath that isn't being met. That erodes trust. But often, people don't even know they're doing it.

So I started to see that it's not just a trust issue. It's also a communication issue. If the other person knew what you needed, could that get trust back on the tracks?

In personal relationships, trust is a no-brainer. If I can't trust you, I don't know if this relationship is going to work. But in the workplace, we give people a pass for doing things that aren't trustworthy, and we never have conversations about it.

The Seven Trust Languages

Erin: I love the idea of trust languages because everybody thinks of love languages. You have seven trust languages. Where does it start? Do you need to understand the other person, or are these seven things everyone needs to do?

Minda: My thesis is that we all have a primary, secondary, and tertiary trust language. There may be a time when we're speaking all of them, but if I'm a leader and you report to me, and I want to get the most productivity out of my entire team, not just my go-to people, then in our next one-on-one, I'm going to ask, "What does trust look like to you?"

I want to make sure we have the most harmonious working relationship possible. I want to make sure you get the most out of being on this team. So what does trust look like to you?

When someone answers that question, they'll usually tell you two or three of their trust languages without even knowing the labels.

If I know feedback is important to you, or transparency is important to you, I can make note of that. Then when we're working together, I remember, "Erin values transparency. She values when I'm not being ambiguous. She values feedback that's meaningful and insightful."

I tell people it's about the double E's. We're either enhancing trust or eroding trust.

Erin: Always up or down.

Minda: Exactly. We may not be able to solve everything at work, but we can solve for respect. We can solve for trust.

The Question Every Leader Should Ask

Erin: That question is so powerful. I used to lead a lot of employees, and I'm thinking, "Crap, if I could've simply said in one meeting, 'Trust is important. What does trust look like for you?'"

Minda: I never had a manager ask me that. Not because they didn't want trust with me, but because we're all moving so fast in the workday that we forget there's a human on the other end.

The data shows that if we have more trust, we're more productive and less anxious. I don't want to be the reason someone is spiraling through the day and not even know it.

Erin: Imagine asking that in an interview when you're trying to attract the best talent. You think people aren't going to flock to that? They're going to be like, "Wow, I've never heard that before."

Minda: Yes. And I write about that in the book. If you know acknowledgement is important to you, ask questions in the interview process that help you see whether that environment can provide it.

Some people don't naturally say, "Great job. Thank you for delivering that project. I don't know where we'd be without it." That may not be the language they're most comfortable giving. But you may need that to survive and thrive at work.

So tell people what's important to you. Advocate for yourself. We're not always going to work for the person who asks, "What does trust look like?" Sometimes you have to take the bull by the horns.

Erin: And by sometimes, we mean most of the time.

How to Ask for the Trust You Need

Erin: Most of our listeners are leaders, but let's be honest, they're also employees. Everybody wants to be a great leader, but they also want to know how to be led better.

Can you give an example of how someone might use the trust languages in an interview to...