EXCLUSIVE Hakeem & Monica Part 1: Baby Names, Family Drama, and an Engagement?! | Golden Hour

Summary

Bachelor Happy Hour — Golden Hour: EXCLUSIVE Hakeem & Monica Part 1: Baby Names, Family Drama, and an Engagement?!

Original air date: April 23, 2026
Hosts: Kathy & Joan (subbing for Susan)
Guests: Hakeem (from “Gen” season) & Monica

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Episode Overview

In this episode of Golden Hour (a segment of Bachelor Happy Hour), Kathy and guest co-host Joan sit down with Hakeem and Monica for an intimate, candid conversation. They discuss Hakeem and Monica’s unconventional love story, overcoming family drama, Monica’s pregnancy journey, baby name reveals, and, in a major moment—an on-air engagement proposal! The episode offers unmatched warmth, vulnerability, and humor as the couple shares their relationship highs and lows, with the Bachelor Nation community rallying behind them.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. How Hakeem & Monica Met and Reconnected

• First Date Origins ([04:33])

  • Monica details meeting Hakeem on Hinge in 2021 while Hakeem was in Milwaukee. Their first “date” lasted three days due to their instant connection.
  • “It was probably the longest first date in history. We spent like, three days together, just vibe super well.” — Monica ([04:37])

• Family Tensions & Estrangement ([05:22])

  • Monica explains she no longer speaks with her family because of ongoing issues and difficult dynamics, including her brother’s offensive comments to Hakeem.
  • “My family is not—I don't speak to them anymore…my brother kind of reached out to him and said some very inappropriate things.” — Monica ([05:24])

• Friendship, Social Media, and Support

  • Monica helped Hakeem with his social media as their friendship rekindled.
  • Hakeem’s family welcomed Monica, especially during holidays when she would otherwise have been alone.
  • Monica left her teaching career for mental health reasons; after moving to Chicago, she and Hakeem truly reconnected.

2. Candid Discussion on Family Estrangement ([10:34])

• Kathy asks Monica if pregnancy might open the door to her reconnecting with her family:

  • “No, I don’t…There was some family secrets I’ve learned…my mother, she doesn’t know how to take accountability…So I don’t really trust her.” — Monica ([11:08])

• Hakeem adds transparency by mentioning Monica’s mother’s affair and affirms Monica’s boundaries.

• Support from Hosts

  • “Joan and I are available to be your surrogate moms.” — Kathy ([12:07])
  • Monica responds: “I would love that. Count us in.” ([12:14])

3. Would Monica and Hakeem Have Connected on Paradise? ([12:21])

• They both agree their personalities would likely have clicked even on the show.
• Hakeem jokes about having to compete with Bachelor Nation “tens” on the beach, but ultimately says Monica is his type “to the T.” ([12:39])
• They talk about their quirky compatibility (“our weird matches each other's weird”) and their mutual love for a warm house (set to 80 degrees). ([13:02])

4. Relationship Breakups & Honest Reflection

• Hakeem takes responsibility for their initial breakup, explaining he had not processed a prior relationship and wasn't ready for something new.
  • “The first breakup was my fault…Monica filled the void at the time.” — Hakeem ([09:13])
  • Monica’s subtle “Google it” callback for rekindling communication adds humor. ([10:18])

5. Pregnancy Announcement & April Fool’s Announcement ([18:18])

• Monica is due on October 28th, hoping for a Halloween baby.
• They announced the pregnancy on April Fool’s Day, confusing many until the gender reveal.
  • “My due date is October 28th…I’m hoping for a Halloween baby.” — Monica ([18:25])
  • “I had cousins who…thought it was a joke until we did the gender reveal.” — Monica ([19:21])

6. Engagement Conversation & Live Proposal! ([20:07])

• Kathy presses for a proposal, not just a courthouse marriage for insurance logistics.

• In a heartfelt, humorous moment, Kathy coaxes Hakeem to propose LIVE on the podcast:

  • “Why don’t you, right now, get on one knee on this podcast and ask that beautiful woman to marry you right here?” — Kathy ([20:38])
  • Hakeem: “Will you marry me?” ([21:04])
  • Monica: “I would love to.” ([21:05])
  • Group cheers and laughter follow, with acknowledgment: “This is our first proposal on our podcast!” — Kathy ([21:16])

• Rings & Family Heirlooms

  • Monica plans to repurpose diamonds from a ring gifted by her mother for the engagement ring ([22:03]).

7. Expectations, Gender Reveal & Girl Dad Life ([24:20])

• Monica wanted a girl but expected a boy; both are thrilled it’s a girl.
• Hakeem discusses his original dream of “four boys” and forming a relay team, now joyfully anticipating his girl dad journey.
  • “I knew it was gonna happen to me…I wanted four boys…but that plan has obviously changed…I’m so happy just to have a healthy baby.” — Hakeem ([24:55])

8. How Hakeem Supports Monica During Pregnancy ([26:36])

• Hakeem takes pride in doing “all the little things” to support Monica—including holding her hair back during morning sickness.
• He expresses a desire to set a healthy standard for his daughter in how a man treats a woman.
  • “I want my daughter to see how a man respects a woman.” — Hakeem ([26:54])
  • Monica: “You never know what’s gonna come out of his mouth, I promise.” ([24:14])

9. Candid Talk on Pregnancy Cravings (and Sex) ([32:21])

• Joan jokes about Hakeem sharing in the pregnancy cravings.
• Monica candidly reveals her craving is “sex,” leading to a humorous and open exchange about pregnancy hormones and intimacy:
  • “You heard it right. Sex.” — Monica ([32:46])
  • Hakeem: “It’d be random as hell…like, at 2:30 pm working, she’s like, ‘you want to have sex?’ I’m like, yeah.” ([33:08])

10. Baby Name Reveal ([34:07])

• Baby girl will be named Marlee Marie—Marlee after Bob Marley, connecting to Hakeem’s Jamaican heritage, and Marie, Monica’s middle name.
• Her full middle name will be “Bliss” (after Hakeem’s mother’s maiden name).
  • “Marlee from Bob Marley, him being Jamaican; and then Marie is my middle name.” — Monica ([34:21])

11. Birth Plan Discussion

• Monica is open-minded about natural birth versus epidural, with the hosts sharing personal anecdotes on childbirth ([35:29]).
• Hakeem is supportive: “Do whatever you gotta do to get the baby out…”

12. Parenting Philosophies & Roles ([38:53])

• Monica predicts Hakeem will be the “strict one”; her teaching background shapes her approach to parenting.
• A home full of music, reading, and play is envisioned; debate over Monica’s massive bins of children’s books.
• Hakeem reflects on how having a daughter will shift his mindset, especially as she grows.
  • “If you’re uncomfortable with me, that means you’re not for my sister.” — Hakeem, on vetting potential partners ([41:19])

13. Bachelor Nation “Aunties & Uncles” ([42:12])

• Monica and Hakeem name Brandon Jones as first to know about the pregnancy, plus Jonathan, “Nate” (from Gabby and Rachel’s season), and others in Bachelor Nation as their honorary support squad.

14. Baby Shower, Nursery, & Social Media Decisions ([43:30], [44:55])

• Monica’s nursery and shower plans revolve around a “pink bows” theme, reflecting her love of girly aesthetics.
• The couple plans to share parts of their journey on social media, but will be mindful of privacy concerning their daughter.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “My family is not—I don’t speak to them anymore…my brother kind of reached out to him and said some very inappropriate things.” — Monica ([05:24])
• “You never know what’s gonna come out of his mouth, I promise. That’s why I love him.” — Monica ([24:14])
• LIVE PROPOSAL:
  • Kathy: “Why don’t you, right now, get on one knee on this podcast and ask that beautiful woman to marry you right here?” ([20:38])
  • Hakeem: “Will you marry me?” ([21:04])
  • Monica: “I would love to.” ([21:05])
  • Joan: “Yes.” ([21:06])
  • Kathy: “She said yes!” ([21:07])
• “Marlee from Bob Marley, him being Jamaican; and then Marie is my middle name.” — Monica ([34:21])
• “I want my daughter to see how a man respects a woman.” — Hakeem ([26:54])
• On Surrogate Moms:
  • Kathy: “Joan and I are available to be your surrogate moms.” ([12:07])
  • Monica: “I would love that. Count us in.” ([12:14"])
• On Parenting:
  • “He wanted to get rid of [my bins of children’s books]. I said, no, I’m not getting rid of them.” — Monica ([39:57])
• On Newborns:
  • Hakeem: “Obviously, newborn babies all look like aliens. So, like, why do you want to see them?” ([45:25])
  • Kathy: “Everyone else's children…look like aliens. Your daughter will not—she’s going to be the most beautiful child you have ever laid eyes on.” ([45:39])

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Important Timestamps

• 00:00–03:10: Advertisements/Intros (skip)
• 03:11: Show starts — introductions and welcome
• 04:33: Monica tells the couple’s “how we met” story
• 05:22: Monica discusses family estrangement
• 09:13: Hakeem admits fault in the couple’s first breakup
• 10:34: Discussion about family, future, and boundaries
• 12:21: Kathy/Joan ask: would they have connected on Paradise?
• 18:18: Baby due date and pregnancy prank reveal
• 20:07–21:07: Proposal talk and LIVE ENGAGEMENT!
• 24:20: Baby gender reveal and reactions
• 26:36: How Hakeem supports Monica during pregnancy
• 32:21: Pregnancy cravings (notably, sex) & candid relationship talk
• 34:07: Baby name announcement
• 35:29: Discussion of birth plans (natural/epidural)
• 38:53: Parenting style and roles anticipated
• 42:12: Naming Bachelor Nation “aunties and uncles”
• 43:30: Nursery plans and girly shower themes
• 44:55: Social media plans for sharing their journey
• 46:24: Wrap-up — hosts request updates, preview for part two

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Takeaways

• Hakeem and Monica’s journey has been full of ups and downs, but their mutual support, candid storytelling, and humor shine throughout.
• Monica opens up on family estrangement, Hakeem takes accountability for relationship bumps, and the couple looks eagerly to their future—welcoming both a baby and an engagement.
• Bachelor Nation rallies around their own, with Kathy and Joan offering both heartfelt advice and surrogate-mom support.
• The episode is a heartfelt blend of vulnerability, laughter, and big news, ending with the promise of more to come in Part 2.

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Transcript

[Monica]

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[Kathy]

Welcome back to Golden Hour. I'm Kathy.

[Joan]

And I'm Joan. I'm back filling in this week for Susan.

[Kathy]

And we have such a special guest this week from gen season, Hakeem and his beautiful girlfriend, Monica. Welcome to the podcast, you guys.

[Monica]

Thanks for having us.

[Kathy]

Hakeem, I just gotta ask, how did you score such a beautiful woman?

[Hakeem]

I'm gonna be honest with you. I don't know. I tell myself all the time, like, yo, I tell Monica, I'm punching for sure. Meaning, like, she's out of her.

[Kathy]

Is that like batting above your batting average or something? Is that what that means?

[Joan]

Yeah, yeah. Kicking your coverage, the whole thing.

[Monica]

Yeah, yeah. UK term.

[Hakeem]

Uk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, she's. She's gorgeous. I want her to talk more because obviously, you know me and so forth. It's all about this beautiful woman right here. So.

[Joan]

Well, I think it's all about you guys being a couple now, because that's the big news. I am so glad Monica's now welcomed into Bachelor World. We're so happy to have you.

[Kathy]

And. And before we get started. Started, we gotta say congrats. I mean, that's the story of the hour.

[Joan]

Really is.

[Kathy]

Welcome.

[Monica]

Welcome, Monica.

[Joan]

Yeah, welcome, Monica. And, like, we want to hear all about your love story. So I know Kathy's had a chance to talk to you, Hakeem, but now we have Monica on, and we get to get her perspective a little bit. I mean, share how you guys met.

[Monica]

Okay. Yeah, it's a long. I talk with my hands loud, but it's a long, twisted, I don't know, roller coaster of a story. So we actually met on hinge back in 2021. 2021. Hakeem was living in Milwaukee. That's where I'm originally from. We went on a first date, and it was the. Probably the longest first date in history. We spent, like, three days together, just, like, vibe super well. But then we kind of. We were together. I don't even know how long we were together for. We hit some rough patches in there, some family. My family situations. So we kind of. My family is not I don't speak to them anymore. We'll put that out there. I know he spoke about it on the last podcast.

[Kathy]

Yeah, he did, yeah.

[Joan]

Yeah.

[Monica]

So I don't really. I'm not in touch with any of them, but so we kind of separated. And then again, he spoke about this, but my brother kind of reached out to him and said some very inappropriate things and use some very inappropriate words towards him, which kind of did the opposite effect of, I think, what my brother was trying to do and really, like, brought us back into each other's life because I was extremely embarrassed. So I was checking in on him, like, I'm so sorry. Like, you don't deserve that kind of thing. And that was right after you got back from filming, I think. So, like, he was doing his thing. I was, you know, kind of healing in my own sense and, you know, going through my own traumas and doing all that. And then we just were, like, friends for a while. We just kind of were friends.

[Hakeem]

My social media, I needed.

[Monica]

Yeah, I was like, you need some help with your social media? So I just.

[Kathy]

That is such a good pickup line.

[Joan]

That is such a good time. Yeah.

[Monica]

But no, he really was struggling just to. To, like, post whatever, so I was like, let me at least help you. I was a teacher. I was teaching elementary kids, so I didn't really know either, but I was. I was willing to, you know, help him learn. And then, yeah, we were just friends. His family was super great, just, like, knowing kind of what was going on with my family. So, like, they invite me for holidays so I wouldn't have to be alone, things like that. Yeah, his. His family's great. And then I left teaching, so I taught elementary kids for 10 years.

[Kathy]

And I. Bless you. Bless you. I taught middle school, Monica. And I loved middle school, but elementary. Oh, I don't know.

[Joan]

My daughter's a third grade teacher.

[Monica]

Oh, what?

[Joan]

Yeah, my daughter's a third grade teacher, and my son went to Marquette in Milwaukee. I feel like we're connected already.

[Monica]

Wow. Yeah, I taught. So my first three years, I taught in Milwaukee public school schools, which was its own beast. And I taught there was a mess. But I taught first, second, and third grade there. And then I taught in West Dallas public schools, and I taught a mix of 4th and 5th grade combination. Straight grade.

[Kathy]

Wow.

[Monica]

I loved it. But my mental health was tanking. I like to say I was really good at it, and I was really good with the naughty kids. And so I kept getting all of them like, they're my babies. I would Take them home. But my mental health was struggling, so I. Last year was my last year teaching, and I got a new job in, like, in Illinois, so I moved to Chicago, and that's kind of when we really reconnected. And then after paradise, we just kind of.

[Joan]

There you are.

[Kathy]

So are you guys living together in Chicago?

[Monica]

Yes, we are.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Monica]

So I do have to say I'm thankful Susan was not on Paradise.

[Kathy]

Let me just say, Monica, I wanted to say this to Akeem. First of all, Susan is. Is so brokenhearted she could not do this podcast. She was brokenhearted when she heard that from the last podcast when she heard that you were back with Monica. Now to find out that you two are expecting a beautiful baby girl. She's devastated. She's crying in her soup, and she may also be. And she may also be traveling, Hakeem. But just want you to know you've

[Joan]

broken, but I got to be here. And I know I have a huge crush on both of you because you are the cutest couple. I love, love, love. I want to go back a little bit to 2021, if you don't mind. If you don't want to answer this, you certainly don't have to. But I'm wondering if that initial breakup when you first broke up, was that. Was. Were you making an effort to try to reconcile with your family, Monica, or were you and see that you could work that out and figure it out and maybe always had him still in the back of your mind a little bit? I feel like that could be it.

[Hakeem]

So let me. Let me. I'm gonna take that one. Because the first breakup was my fault, right? I'm a person that's big on account Hakeem. No, no.

[Kathy]

All problems are going to be your fault. Just admit it. Right?

[Joan]

You're right. Very true.

[Hakeem]

Well, so I'm gonna be honest with you. Me getting into a relationship right after. So before I met Monica, I was in a relationship. Wasn't the best relationship in the world. So I needed time heal. But at the time, and to be honest with you, I didn't know how to be alone, just to be frank with you, right? So at that time, like me, I met Monica, and she filled the void at the time, unfortunately, just to say that, right? But then my ex girlfriend came back, and then I got back with my ex girlfriend, but during the time I was with my ex girlfriend, I was thinking about Monica all the time. Like, yeah, this, this. This is not the relationship I want to be in. So then, you know, I get a text Message from Monica out of all of nowhere, because we were watching this show called. We're watching a random show. Right? We're watching a show. And she was like, oh, what channel was that show we were watching on? And I'm like, obviously she should know that.

[Monica]

Google it.

[Hakeem]

Just Google it.

[Joan]

Good job, Monica.

[Kathy]

I like your pickup lines, Monica.

[Monica]

Thank you.

[Kathy]

Very creative.

[Monica]

Thank you.

[Joan]

And actually a little transparent, which is kind of good because he gets what you're actually going for. You weren't actually asking a question, which you gave him, like, the knowledge to

[Kathy]

know that you gave him the opening. So when I want to. I want to ask a question about. You said, Monica, that you're not in touch with your family. I have to say to you, my in laws never liked me. We always had a tough relationship in my almost 46 years of marriage. Do you feel like. And again, anything you don't want to answer, but do you feel like. Especially being pregnant, do you feel like the door might be open for. Or do you want the door to be open?

[Monica]

No, I don't. There are some other things besides that Hakeem shared about, like, the racism, whatever. There was some family secrets I've learned.

[Kathy]

Okay.

[Monica]

That I didn't know from when I was a baby, that I found out also recently that my mother, she doesn't know how to take accountability or she

[Hakeem]

was also having an affair. Just say it. Just say it.

[Monica]

Yeah, my mom was having an affair.

[Hakeem]

Just keep it a book.

[Monica]

So that I found out. And she just doesn't know how to take accountability. And she always is the person who plays the victim and, like, will cry and things like that. So I don't really trust her. And. Yeah, so I. I was actually kind of. The other day when I wasn't feeling great, I was crying and I was just like, I miss having a mom. And Hakeem is great. He's like, if you want that relationship, like, you can. And I was just like, I don't want the relationship with her. Like, I just missed that thought and that, like, idea. I get that thing. A mother.

[Kathy]

Yeah. Well, let me just say, Monica, Susan is out. We're not. That's not allowed. But Joan and I are available to be your surrogate moms.

[Monica]

I would love that. I would love that.

[Kathy]

Count us. Count us in. Count us. Let's jump to something happier here.

[Monica]

Yeah.

[Kathy]

I want to know if. Do you think you guys would have connected, Monica, if you had been on the beaches of paradise, do you think you two would have connected that way on paradise?

[Monica]

Both of us Both of us, like, if we didn't know each other and we met on Paradise. Is that what you're kind of saying?

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Hakeem]

Yeah, man.

[Monica]

Probably.

[Hakeem]

I ain't gonna lie to you. I don't wanna go up against the competition that we got on the beach. We had Dale on there, we got Jonathan on there. I don't wanna say nothing, but I'm just gonna say if she was on there, I'm for sure shooting. She's my type to the T, right? But, yeah, I sit here and say that I'm better looking at all that. I know what I bring to the table.

[Joan]

Yeah.

[Hakeem]

Those guys were tens straight.

[Kathy]

Hakeem, you're a 10 to don't.

[Monica]

10, 200. But I do. I think our personalities vibe. We're both a little weird in a way. And our weird matches each other's weird. Like facts. We. It's like we both like random things. Like the house is at 80 degrees. Always. Like, the air is at 80. The heat's at 80. Yeah.

[Joan]

Temperatures. You have half your marriage figured out.

[Kathy]

Wait, I can move in. I can move in with you guys?

[Hakeem]

Yes, girl. Yes. Kathy. I was just telling her. I was like. Me and Kathy have so much in common.

[Kathy]

Oh, don't you start with the hot game. No, no, don't you start. If Susan were here, I'd be. I'd be yesterday's news. Don't you?

[Hakeem]

No, no, no. It's different with Susan. It's like a crush. Crush?

[Kathy]

What am I.

[Hakeem]

It's a crush.

[Monica]

I know.

[Hakeem]

You are like my girl. Like, you are, like, out there. You, you, you. You are very transparent, straightforward. That's why I love you. Because you don't. You can't bullshit a bullshitter. And you are just. You're just straight to the point, just like me. So that's what I was telling. I was like, so much like me.

[Monica]

Yeah.

[Kathy]

Okay. I think I'm gonna say thank you.

[Joan]

Yay.

[Hakeem]

It's a good thing.

[Monica]

It's a compliment. It's a compliment.

[Kathy]

Thank you. I love you, Hakeem.

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[Kathy]

Monica when is this adorable? Because I'm all about babies, Joan and I love babies. When is this adorable darling due? And do we have names?

[Monica]

My due date is October 28th, so, yeah, I'm kind of hoping for a Halloween baby.

[Joan]

Yeah, you're. You're all about the holidays because you announced your baby on April Fool's Day, which I have to ask you about that because that is the funniest thing because I'm sure everybody thought that was an April Fool's. I mean, shock. And I did something like. Like having a baby. And. Yeah, I can't remember what we did. He posted it and I just like, collabed on it. And all of a sudden people are messaging me like, what's going on? So you. Of being childbearing age, people must have thought that was a joke.

[Monica]

Yeah, it was very intentional. I had gone to the doctor, I think like a week before even, and we were just calling people and it kind of fizzled into that time. And someone I think suggested like, that'd be hilarious if you guys did that. And Hakeem was like, oh, yeah, we're posting it then. And I had like, the few cousins who I talked to. I like one of my cousins.

[Joan]

Yeah.

[Monica]

And her kids were like, oh, I honestly thought it was a joke until, like, we did the gender reveal. And I think that's when people were like, oh, wait, okay, that's exactly.

[Joan]

That's taking the job too far. Yeah, possibly be. Still be a joke.

[Kathy]

So, okay, so now I'm, I'M old enough to be your mother. Both of your mothers. And I gotta ask, because that's who I am. Like, I know. I, I. First of all, I'm so happy for you guys. That goes without saying. But you, you are a lovely couple. I'm so happy. I love babies. I'll come and babysit for you. I want to come to the baby shower, Hakeem. I'll send you my address. But I want to know, like, do you guys think about this? Me being old fashioned? Don't judge. Do you talk about getting engaged or married or any of those things?

[Hakeem]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'll let you take them. Yeah. I mean, so first things first. I was probably going to do like a, just like a courthouse one really quickly so she can go into my insurance. That's probably the most important thing just,

[Monica]

like, logistically, right now.

[Hakeem]

Just for right now.

[Kathy]

So romantic. Hakeem.

[Joan]

I don't know what yet. I love that practical side of you because you're having a baby and you need to think practically a little bit. So that is so smart.

[Kathy]

No, no, no. I'm gonna give you. Wait. I'm gonna give you an option right now. I want you to listen carefully. I'm being your mother here.

[Hakeem]

Yes, it.

[Kathy]

Let's. Let's reframe this whole thing. Why don't you, right now, get on one knee on this podcast and ask that beautiful woman to marry you right

[Hakeem]

here, you dead ass.

[Kathy]

I'm deadly.

[Hakeem]

I mean, she already is gonna. We already gonna get married. Do you want me to be more romantic?

[Kathy]

Yes. I don't want to hear about insurance. I want you on your knee. I'll give you the words. If you can'.

[Joan]

You can't do this to them.

[Hakeem]

Will you.

[Monica]

Will you Miss Hand?

[Kathy]

Watch me.

[Hakeem]

Will you marry me?

[Monica]

I would love to.

[Joan]

Yes.

[Monica]

Yes.

[Kathy]

Yes, yes, yes. She said yes.

[Hakeem]

She's cupid. She's the forceful cupid. The forceful cupid right there. That works.

[Kathy]

Hakeem, I'm going to tell you, this is our first proposal on, on our podcast. So, you guys, yay.

[Monica]

You.

[Kathy]

You're now officially engaged.

[Hakeem]

You're right. I have what we have. I'm actually looking to get another ring for her and all that. Obviously, I'm doing it more on the secret size, getting secret side. So I'm getting kind of a ring put together for her because I also have another diamond ring as well. So we're gonna repurpose those and then we're gonna add to it as well.

[Kathy]

So wait, I'm sorry, you have A diamond ring.

[Hakeem]

Already tight.

[Monica]

So it's a. I have a diamond ring from. It's actually my mom for one of my graduation gifts. Because my parents are divorced, obviously, but, I mean, but so.

[Kathy]

So are mine. Monica.

[Monica]

So, yeah, she had repurposed her wedding ring and gave it to me for one of my graduation gifts. So I actually have the diamonds and that. So that I've actually given it to him. And I've said, use it how you want. So.

[Joan]

So you have a starter ring. Yep. To make it even better.

[Monica]

And I was like, I don't want this ring. Like, but we can use the diamonds. We can trade the diamonds in. We can. Whatever.

[Kathy]

This is so exciting. I love that Joan and I are available to confer on design, should you need help.

[Monica]

Oh, very much.

[Joan]

Yeah. I've had many diamond rings in my life. I had a very generous husband for many years before he passed away. And now I have Chalk. And I have a Bachelor Nation diamond ring.

[Hakeem]

Yeah, I have one.

[Kathy]

So I have one.

[Hakeem]

How's you and Chalk? I mean, Chalk is the man.

[Joan]

Thank you. He's great. We're awesome. He was here for Easter, and then I'll see him again. Like, we have a little bit of a stretch because I'm super busy for some reason in this month. It's very weird. I'm doing press for Pancreatic Cancer Action Network, and so I have a lot to do for that Right. This month. And then I will see him in the beginning of May. Yeah. So great.

[Premier Protein Advertiser]

But thank you for asking.

[Joan]

Thanks for remembering.

[Hakeem]

Of course. Are you guys going to the. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. Go ahead.

[Kathy]

I was gonna say, do you wanna know about my love life, too, or is this.

[Hakeem]

I was just about to ask you about you and Keith. What?

[Kathy]

Keith?

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[Joan]

My ex boyfriend?

[Kathy]

Yeah, Keith and I have.

[Hakeem]

I'm teasing you, girl. You know I'm teasing you.

[Kathy]

You know, last time we talked to

[Joan]

her, Keith, you were gonna find me ever in her life.

[Kathy]

Yeah, Hakeem, you're going to find me somebody. Last time we talked. Just saying. But you've been busy getting engaged, having babies. I get it. You're busy.

[Hakeem]

You're too youthful. You're too good for these guys that are out here. Like, I've already told you, you need to be dating somebody younger than you. Like, I'm talking, like, 40s. That's what I'm saying. I know that's crazy to say, but you are so fun. You don't want a guy. I mean, from my point of view, obviously, I can't tell you what you want, right? But in my eyes, I picture you with somebody that has, like, your type of energy. Like, you're just, like, you're just so bubbly. Like. And I don't want somebody that's on the couch, needs Viagra and all that stuff. You know what I mean? Like, seriously, I'm so serious. Monica, help already so I can help. I'm just saying. I'm dead ass.

[Monica]

You never know what's going to come out of his mouth, I promise. Well, that's why I love him.

[Kathy]

Because you never know what's coming out of my. Neither.

[Hakeem]

Exactly.

[Kathy]

All right, enough of my daily life. I want to go back to baby. I want. Just real quickly, how do you feel having a girl? Did you want a boy? Did you care? We all say ten fingers, ten toes. How did you feel?

[Monica]

I. I mean, I think every woman secretly wants a girl, right? But I was convinced it was a boy. Like, I was convinced Baby was gonna be a boy. So when I saw it was a girl, that's why my reaction was what it was because I was like, I was so convinced it was a boy. But I'm so happy to have our. Our little girl coming.

[Joan]

And how do you feel about being a girl, dad?

[Monica]

Yeah, Hakeem.

[Hakeem]

Yeah. I knew it was gonna happen to me. You know, I knew it was go. Happened to me because all my life when I grew up, from high school to now, I'm like, yo, I want four boys. We're gonna have a, Like a four basketball team. No, no, no, no. Relay team.

[Kathy]

That's right. Pass that baton.

[Hakeem]

Exactly. I wanted my last one to be the, you know, the anchor for us, so. But that plan has obviously changed, so. I knew that was gonna happen to me. But I'm so happy just to have a healthy baby. I don't know how I'm gonna be a girl.

[Kathy]

Dad, you're gonna do it with lots of love in your heart. It's all gonna come exactly right. She's gonna have you wrapped around her finger.

[Monica]

That's exactly what I'm gonna.

[Kathy]

That's right. Your world is gonna be making her and Monica happy. That's gonna be your world now.

[Joan]

Yeah.

[Hakeem]

I mean, it's already my. Oh, it's already my world.

[Monica]

He does that. He does it to. Exactly. He has four sisters and grew up really, with his mom and his sisters, so he.

[Joan]

He knows how to do this.

[Monica]

Exactly. Exactly. He's gonna be ra. Oh, gosh. Yeah. He's gonna be a great girl. Dad, we talk.

[Joan]

I have to ask you, though, I Have. I have two, two kids expecting little girls, both in June. So my son is going to be the first time being a girl dad. June 22nd. Then my daughter's also due June 22nd. As well. As well as one of our producers here is also.

[Kathy]

Everybody is.

[Monica]

But my best friend is June 30th,

[Joan]

so no, I mean, it's the end. And all girls. So our girls are friends.

[Monica]

Yes. Yeah, they'll all be friends.

[Joan]

But I'm watching my son. I'm watching my son in law, how they're stepping up, how they're being good partners to their pregnant wives. Tell me, how are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? To make her feel comfortable and special and cared for.

[Hakeem]

Yeah, I mean, I think first things first. I mean, she never is at the toilet by herself. I'm with her in her bag.

[Joan]

She's the beautiful hair. Holding her hair back.

[Hakeem]

Yeah, that's exactly what I do. I massage her watches and then like, I try to make her food. I also. And what, oh, what I just said.

[Monica]

Huh?

[Hakeem]

Oh, but also just like, I think just the little things that may be like, kind of tedious for her. I try to make sure to make her life easier because obviously I don't know how it is to be pregnant and I don't want to know how it feels to be pregnant respectfully. But like, I think at the end of the day, like, I want my daughter to see how a man respects a woman. So, like, for me, it's most important for me to always set that, that because my, my sisters don't have that right. So I'm trying to make sure to break like, generational shortcomings that I have in my family. So being with Monica throughout the whole entire process with her being pregnant, watching whatever she wants, to watch her crying, if she just randomly starts crying.

[Joan]

Hormones, nasty things.

[Hakeem]

Yeah. I mean, she gets weird cravings, like she might want McDonald's, and then all of a sudden she changes her mind and she wants bologna sandwich. Like, you know what I mean? Like, like, what's, like, what's going on? Like, you know what I mean? But whatever she wants, it's my command, you know?

[Kathy]

So I gotta say, Hakeem, you, I love you. Yeah, we love you. But I have to say, you know, since I've met you and we always joke around and have fun, but I don't know if you remember I said to you at one point, there is a side of you that is, that I know is there this deep, caring, loving, not goofball and and you are showing it now in spades. So yay you.

[Hakeem]

I appreciate that. Yeah, I didn't get a chance to show it because I've been booted off all the time so quickly.

[Monica]

I'm thankful. I'm thankful.

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[Joan]

hakeem, do you have any pregnancy cravings? And are you gaining weight a little bit too?

[Monica]

Like, a lot of.

[Hakeem]

No, no, no, no. I would say the only pregnancy cravings I get. What? Wait.

[Joan]

Oh. Let's go, Monica. Spill the tea. Whatever you're about to say, thanks.

[Monica]

Yeah, that's it.

[Joan]

What is it?

[Hakeem]

You heard.

[Joan]

Did I hear you right?

[Monica]

You heard it right. Sex.

[Kathy]

You know why sex is so great when you're pregnant?

[Hakeem]

Girls.

[Kathy]

You know why she can't get pregnant.

[Joan]

It's the best.

[Hakeem]

No, but she feels so, like, off. So, like, she can't. Like, you know what I mean? It'd be random as hell. Like, at 2:30pm Working, she's like, well, you want to have sex? I'm like, yeah.

[Joan]

To the computer.

[Kathy]

I'm out.

[Hakeem]

But I'm sorry if I'm being too over. I'm just very. Okay. Yeah, I'm being too out there.

[Kathy]

Graphic. Graphic.

[Hakeem]

Yeah.

[Joan]

You know What? I. It's so great that you're being honest about that because I think that you're not the only person that had that craving, by the way. So it's all good.

[Reef Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Hakeem]

But it's also understanding while she doesn't have that libido as I have, because her libido kind of goes down during the first trimester and second trimester, I

[Monica]

just don't want to be throwing up.

[Kathy]

Yeah, well, that's gonna end. Is truly my. And I could that somehow you. You meet that 12 week mark and all of a sudden you're just ravenous. Everything's great. You know, sex morning, noon and night. And you're good, you're good to go.

[Monica]

I'm in 12 weeks. I'll be 13 weeks on Wednesday. So, like a couple days. I've noticed. Like, I even was telling Hakeem, I was like, I feel more like myself. Like, I don't feel as bad.

[Kathy]

So do you have names picked out? Are you going to share with us? Names?

[Joan]

Yeah, we'll share.

[Hakeem]

Yeah.

[Monica]

Yes. Marley Marie.

[Kathy]

Oh, I love that.

[Joan]

Marlee Marie.

[Monica]

That is so cute.

[Joan]

Oh, good job, guys.

[Monica]

Yeah.

[Kathy]

Where did that come from? How'd you choose that name?

[Joan]

Marley.

[Monica]

So Marley from Bob Marley.

[Kathy]

Bob Marley. Okay.

[Monica]

Love it. Him being Jamaican. So we had boy names and girls names. Actually, we've talked about it. Even before I was pregnant.

[Hakeem]

True.

[Monica]

They're both very Jamaican influence. And then Marie is my middle name. And so kind of like float, load, flowed. Nice.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Monica]

And then her middle name is going to be Bliss, which is his mom's maiden name.

[Kathy]

So wait a minute. It's Marlee Marie is her first name.

[Monica]

Yeah. Marley Marie.

[Kathy]

I'm going to call her Eminem.

[Joan]

So cute.

[Monica]

Yep. Yeah. So we're both Eminem's because my name is Monica Marie. So that Marlee Marie. So we'll both be Eminem.

[Kathy]

Oh, my God. What's your middle name?

[Hakeem]

Elijah.

[Kathy]

Wow.

[Monica]

I'm definitely.

[Hakeem]

If I have a boy, I would never name him Hakeem, let me tell you.

[Monica]

Yeah.

[Hakeem]

The struggle. Going through, a drive through. And you're like, yo. Yeah. They're like, Joaquin. I'm no Hakeem. Hakeem. I was like, you know what, Monica? It's all good.

[Kathy]

It's like John Quellen. No, Jacqueline.

[Joan]

That's right.

[Kathy]

Okay, so wait, are you doing natural childbirth? Which I highly recommend not doing, but.

[Monica]

Okay,

[Kathy]

let me just. You are gonna do it.

[Monica]

So I was talking about this with my friends. So my two of my best friends have babies already. They're like Two and one and a half, and then the one is having another one. And I don't know, I was talking about it, like, I may try and then, you know, it may come to the point where the epidural is needed. But I know, like, once you get it, you can't really always feel your contractions.

[Kathy]

Oh, trust me. I had three. I did fine. I pushed.

[Joan]

Yeah, I had four.

[Kathy]

Pushed all four out with epidurals. Thank you. So, yeah, here's my thing, Monica. I felt like these doctors had gone to school and researchers had figured out how to push a baby without out without a lot of pain. And I wanted to make them feel that I respected their heart.

[Hakeem]

Can I ask you ladies this? Like, what is. Because she was talking to me about it. I'm like, do whatever you got to do, because I don't care if it's whatever, natural or, I don't know, whatever you got to do to get the baby out, do what you got to do. Right? What is that? What is this such a thing of, like a natural birth versus an epidural birth?

[Kathy]

Like, epidural, they. They jam you with a needle that makes you numb from basically the waist down. But you can. You can feel the contractions. They just don't hurt. You can push, you can do it all. It just. You do it without pain. It's like,

[Hakeem]

it's still natural. It's coming out your vaginal canal. So, like, how is it not coming?

[Kathy]

Because. Because you're drugged instead of natural means. No, no, you know, it's. It's. It's natural. Meaning you get no medication.

[Hakeem]

Got it.

[Kathy]

But like I said, all those researchers, you know, Eli Lilly, all those companies spent years figuring out how to let a woman have a baby without pain. And I wanted to reward that. So bring it on. And in fact, you guys, when I had my first child, true story, I went into labor, and when I found out I was pregnant at 3 months, I asked my OB for the epidural, and he started laughing. I said, I'm not kidding. I'm really pain averse. And so when I got there in labor, the nurse came in and said

[Dietz and Watson Advertiser]

to me, who are you?

[Kathy]

And I said, what do you mean, who am I? Like, all I want is that epidural. And she said, well, my doctor, his name, she said, he said to give you the first epidural. Like, who are you? I said, he's just a smart man who knows I can scream very loud.

[Joan]

I actually tried to do my third. No, my third child without an epidural. And I got like 6 or 7 centimeters into it, and I was like, give me that. The freaking needle. Yeah. So I don't recommend it. I tried it. I don't recommend it. So I had four. I mean, do whatever you want. And like you said, you can take it whenever you want.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Hakeem]

Just.

[Kathy]

Just know, Monica, if you. Wait. So my third one. Now each one gets easier, Right? My third one, they were inducing me, although I didn't. I got to the hospital, I was already in labor, and I was at 6 centimeters, which, you know, is pretty. And they didn't want to give me an epidural. I said, I right now, not a second later. Because if you go too far.

[Monica]

Correct.

[Kathy]

You know, you can't get the epidural. And. And it didn't hurt at 6 centimeters. But you know what? I am not a Vegas girl. I was not taking that bet. I wanted to make sure that it went easily. So.

[Joan]

Okay. I want to. I want to fast forward, though, to, okay, babies born. You guys, like, have such a really cute rapport with each other, and I'm dying to see you as parents. What kind of. Of parents do you think you're going to be? Who's going to be the strict one? Who's going to be the laid back one? Is there going to be a strict one?

[Kathy]

Oh, I love you think that they know this, Joan, but go ahead. I'm dying to hear their answers.

[Monica]

So I will say Hakeem will most likely be the strict one. Yeah.

[Hakeem]

Yeah.

[Monica]

But with having my education background, too, I'm, like, true. You know, Like, I. I don't know. I. I feel like being a mother has always been in my nature. Like, everyone's like, you're gonna be such a good mother. Like, you were born to be a mother. So I don't know. I think we're gonna be kind of like easygoing parents to a degree. There's gonna be a lot of music in our house.

[Hakeem]

Yeah.

[Kathy]

Just hold that baby. A lot. Love on that baby that grows so quickly.

[Monica]

A lot of books, a lot of reading. When I. When I left teaching, I kept, like, six bins of books. Like, I'm like, I can't get rid of them. I kept six books. We actually got into a fight about

[Hakeem]

it because I wanted to get rid of.

[Monica]

He wanted to get rid of them. I said, no, I'm not getting rid of.

[Kathy]

Never Hakeem.

[Monica]

And then I got pregnant, and he was like, yeah, good thing we didn't get rid of those books.

[Joan]

Yeah.

[Monica]

So it'll be a lot of, like, play a lot of just hanging out, reading, learning.

[Hakeem]

I can say though, like, for me, if I was gonna. I was scared to have a boy too, because I was scared I might be too hard on my boy. But having a daughter, I think it's gonna kind of have a different shift of mindset. You know, Obviously, I'm not gonna be strict, but I'm gonna make sure, like, you know, like to be very, very much just on board with things, if that makes sense.

[Joan]

Hands on, Monica.

[Kathy]

I'm gonna go with this. I think that when this beautiful Marlee Marie is. Oh, let's call her 16 and dad, I've got a date tonight with Hakeem Jr. You are not going to be easy going about it at all.

[Monica]

No, he is not going to be. Yeah. I mean, once. Boy.

[Hakeem]

Yeah, no, she. She's seen it. Like. Like, right. Like what, A week ago, I was this guy, my sister.

[Monica]

Oh, yeah.

[Hakeem]

Sister was dating. And I. I just wasn't in the page. Like, I wasn't on the same. What would you say? I would just know

[Monica]

someone.

[Hakeem]

Yeah. So, like, he was there, so I gave him a big conversation, like, kind of just like how everything is. Like, what's your plan in life? All those things. I'm very straight to the point in your face. Like, if you're uncomfortable with me, that means you're not for my sister, you know, so. Yeah, I was very much just, like, on it with him, and he took it very well. And he's. He's 27, so he took it really well.

[Kathy]

He got the first train out of town and no one since.

[Joan]

I love that, though. But you have some good practice now. You've had. So it's just my.

[Monica]

Even his girl friends, too. Like, he has some really great girlfriends, and when they have a new man in their life. Yeah.

[Joan]

You're vetting them.

[Monica]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kathy]

All right, so. So speaking of your family, who in Bachelor Nation, besides Joan and myself, who's gonna be. Who's gonna be the official aunties and uncles for your. You know, who's. Who's in on this?

[Hakeem]

I'll let you take the wheel for. For a little bit. Well, you know, a little.

[Monica]

Yeah. So Graham and Brandon. Brandon was actually the first person to know because Hakeem was not himself and, like, having, like, whatever. So Brandon was like, what? What's wrong, dude? Like, what is going on? Called Brandon right away. So Brandon had a secret. We joke that Brandon's our son. Like, just jokingly, he calls us like, mom and dad sometimes. So Brandon, are Like, probably the most excited out of all of them. Jonathan.

[Hakeem]

Yeah, Jiggity for sure. Jonathan, I would say. Who else? Let me.

[Joan]

Can you tell me, Brandon.

[Hakeem]

Who?

[Joan]

Just for Bachelor Nation. So they know who? Brandon Jones.

[Hakeem]

Okay.

[Monica]

Brandon Jones. He was on Michelle's season. Yep.

[Kathy]

Monica, do you know all these people?

[Monica]

I do. I do. I've met all of them.

[Joan]

There's certainly some in Chicago. There's some Bachelor Nation people living in Chicago.

[Hakeem]

Oh, Nate, that's my brother, too.

[Monica]

Yeah, Gabby and Rachel's. He was, I know, one of the, like, first people to reach out to you when you were on the season.

[Hakeem]

Yeah, yeah, he was one of the first people to reach out to me.

[Monica]

And he's a girl dad.

[Hakeem]

Girl dad through and through. Great father. Great.

[Kathy]

Have you given thought to the nursery yet?

[Monica]

Like decorations and things, colors, you know,

[Kathy]

These are things that are very important.

[Monica]

Listen, so pink is my favorite color.

[Kathy]

Okay, so me too.

[Monica]

I love pink bows. So, my friends, I was just talking, like, what's the baby shower theme? I was like, pink bows. So I love her fit. Very girly. Very. Yeah, Very. Yeah.

[Kathy]

Can I tell you, my daughter there, in fact, today is my granddaughter's third birthday.

[Monica]

Oh, happy birthday to her.

[Kathy]

I'll tell her. But my daughter loves the girly, girly stuff. And she has literally bought Amazon out on bows. My granddaughter.

[Monica]

Yeah.

[Kathy]

She will not wear one.

[Joan]

Yeah, she won't wear them all.

[Kathy]

She'll wear clips, little clips, but not the hair bows.

[Joan]

Yeah, my granddaughter's the same way. She's two and a half. Will wear the clips but not the bows. But also like decorating, you get to choose for so long because they really have no control. They hit around two, and then it's up to them. They're gonna wear what they want and do what they want. But I actually want to know. I know you talked a little bit in the beginning interview that you are the social media person. You know, Bachelor Nation loves their Bachelor Nation and they love all of you guys, especially you young ones, way more than us old people. And they love to see how your life is evolving. They love the new relationships. They love the babies. Are you guys going to be really private about this or are you going to be sharing this with the world so we can watch, like, your. Your journey? I mean, you guys are.

[Kathy]

I mean, we want. What Joan is saying is we'd like to have cameras and the delivery room, whatever.

[Joan]

We want to see that first baby picture you laying in bed with your new baby. We want to see all that. But how do you feel about that.

[Hakeem]

I mean, it's nothing. I. It's. It's your decision. My decision?

[Monica]

It's fair. I know there's all the stuff with kids on social media and all of that, so it'll be up to you. We'll share it.

[Hakeem]

We.

[Monica]

I'm sure we'll share. We're just going to be too excited to not share.

[Joan]

Good. Okay.

[Monica]

It's going to be beautiful.

[Hakeem]

Obviously, newborn babies all look like aliens. So, like, why do you want to see them?

[Kathy]

Hakeem, you are so wrong.

[Monica]

That's not true. You said a story's daughter was cute.

[Hakeem]

Yeah, she is cute, but she is.

[Kathy]

Here's the thing, Hakeem. Everyone else's children, newborn children, look like aliens. Your daughters will not is going to be the most beautiful child you have ever laid eyes on. And you are going to feel sorry for everyone else that their daughter is not as beautiful as yours. And if you don't think I'm serious, I'm deadly serious.

[Monica]

We'll check back in a few months. Yeah, no, but I agree.

[Hakeem]

I told her, I was like, if she has a lot of your genes, I'm like, she's gonna be a smoke show. She's gonna be beautiful, you know?

[Kathy]

Well, all right. We are so excited about this, but I wanna move on and see. First of all, we really do want you to keep in touch with us and let us know. We are so excited about this view.

[Joan]

All right, everyone, that's it for part one. We're going to be back tomorrow with Hakeem and Monica answering some of your questions. See you soon.

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[Monica]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.