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Kat Izzo
Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same experience.
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The greatest love story of all time.
Kat Izzo
Why did you leave me? Why did you betray your own heart.
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Of Phil Film by Emerald Fennell.
Margot.
Robbie, Jacob Elordi Kiss Me and let.
Kat Izzo
Us both be damned.
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Bowen Yang
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Rachel
Hello everyone and welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hour. I'm Rachel and Charity is with us today via Zoom.
Charity
And we have a very, very special guest joining us. Everyone, please welcome the one and the only, the one of her kind, Kat Izzo.
Kat Izzo
Hello. Hi, Kat.
Bowen Yang
Hi.
Rachel
Truly the one and only.
Kat Izzo
Please. That's really scary.
Rachel
I. I'm scared for this episode.
Charity
I'm not.
Kat Izzo
I'm excited. I know you are.
Rachel
I'm so excited to have you here. First of all.
Narrator/Commercial Voice
Thank you.
Rachel
There's been a lot that's been going down recently and we.
Kat Izzo
We're trying to talk about it.
Rachel
We are going to talk about all of it today.
Kat Izzo
Yeah, I wouldn't want to talk about it with anybody else for the first time.
Rachel
Oh my God. I'm so excited. So I guess where do we start?
Kat Izzo
I. There's too much. I could. I have anywhere you want.
Rachel
Okay. So Bachelor Nation, the last that they saw you, you were in a relationship.
Kat Izzo
That is true.
Rachel
You were Kale.
Kat Izzo
Oh, Jesus.
Charity
Yeah, the couple name is crazy. Yeah.
Kat Izzo
Yeah, I guess I was in a relationship last time you guys saw me and last time I guess I spoke publicly. So this is my first time speaking. But things have changed.
Rachel
Things have changed.
Charity
Things have changed.
Commercial Voice
Wow.
Charity
Okay, well, we're gonna dive into all of that today. I think we should start with maybe, I guess give us a little summary about your time on paradise. Because as we all know it, that was your second time back and a much better experience around this. This time around.
Rachel
I loved first time with you.
Kat Izzo
Yeah. Okay. Cuz it was really scary. But I loved having you on the beach, Rachel. That was great.
Rachel
We had some good times.
Kat Izzo
Yeah.
Rachel
Hearing cat screaming from the palapa as I ran and chased Sean down the beach.
Kat Izzo
Like there was.
Rachel
There will never be anything like it.
Kat Izzo
Yeah, no, you can. You can hear. I can still hear my screaming. No, this time was so much better. It was so different. I mean, obviously we had better conditions in my opinion.
Rachel
Air conditioning.
Kat Izzo
Yeah. And overall just coming in like clean slate. Didn't know anybody had no preconceived notions. Was so much more refreshing. Cuz then you can just really see people for who they are without any judgment. And then obviously in turned into a competition. So we had that aspect. And that was really fun having the challenges, but it did bring people closer together, I think. So a lot of couples came out of it, me included. And you really got to, like, see people in a easier light than I think before because you weren't like, in fight or flight. Sweating. No, Literally sweating and like, wearing makeup. So you actually felt pretty.
Rachel
No, Cat. Watching you play the games was my favorite part.
Kat Izzo
Oh, which one? You mean the bug crash out? Yeah.
Charity
Insane.
Kat Izzo
Insane tv. I couldn't help that. That was a true panic attack.
Rachel
I loved watching you, though. I think it takes a lot. You know, the last time you were engaged.
Kat Izzo
Yes.
Rachel
And then to come back again and really put yourself out there. I feel like we saw a completely different side of you.
Kat Izzo
Yeah.
Rachel
You were just, I feel, like, so understanding and caring, and I just love that side of you. And so I was so excited for this relationship. I mean, Dale, he's a little older.
Kat Izzo
Right.
Rachel
More mature. I feel like that's what you need.
Kat Izzo
No.
Rachel
So it's not the case.
Kat Izzo
Yeah, that's what we hope for. Right? But that's with everybody.
Rachel
No, truly, I actually know nothing about what has gone down scent. So I'm in my seat. I'm strapped in.
Kat Izzo
No. This season.
Rachel
Buckle up and I'm buckling my seat belt. I mean, I don't need alcohol.
Kat Izzo
No.
Rachel
Where does.
Kat Izzo
Actually, though, like, I would love a shot of tequila.
Rachel
Like, what do I need for what is about to happen?
Charity
Should we start the episode off with a good cheers? Cuz, like, you know, I just want to set the the mood. I mean, you guys are in person and I'm not there. But, like, we can cheers with. We can cheers with a good clean water. It's okay.
Rachel
It is so bachelor to do a cheers before anything we do that is so exact.
Kat Izzo
Wants to take the toast away.
Rachel
I know you can give it a toast.
Charity
Here's to. I have mine in my little Tumblr, but here's to a great episode. Here's to Kat Izzo's growth and character development because it's never. It's always evolving. Always.
Kat Izzo
Cheers to that.
Charity
Here's to us getting some good tea, good story time, and honestly, just good vibes all around. So to a great episode, ladies.
Rachel
And don't forget, cheers to love.
Kat Izzo
Oh.
Rachel
To love.
Bowen Yang
And to love.
Rachel
Obviously.
Kat Izzo
Live, laugh, love.
Charity
To us. Truly.
Kat Izzo
To us.
Rachel
I do wish this was something stronger because I'm getting really sweaty.
Charity
I can't wait till dry. January Is over with. I'm not gonna lie anyway.
Rachel
Oh, are you actually doing that?
Kat Izzo
Absolutely not.
Rachel
I'm not either.
Kat Izzo
I do not.
Rachel
You're a better woman than both of us.
Charity
Okay. Okay. Yeah. We should just really get into this. I don't want to take up any more time. I'm like. I'm on the edge of my seat personally. Truly, quite literally.
Kat Izzo
You just have to guide me, because it is. I feel like it's a lot, all of it together. So. Yeah.
Charity
Okay. Katt, so obviously with you going back to paradise, you had no idea who was there, But I guess because we know you and Dale left in a relationship, what did you know about him prior to going to paradise?
Bowen Yang
Anything?
Charity
Like, did you have your eyes set on him? Were you hoping that he was going to be on the beach? What was your expectations?
Kat Izzo
I really, like, did not know anyone at all or their background story. Like, I knew of him because he dated, like, a previous bachelorette, but as far as, like, the intricacies and, like, the details and stuff, like, all I just knew he was, like, attractive and that he was older. So I was like, that probably comes with, like, good things, but I really, like, did not know too much other than that. Like, and kind of let everything, like, be really, like, in the moment.
Rachel
Yeah. I feel like we didn't get to know him at all on Claire season. This is the first time I got to know Dale.
Kat Izzo
Yeah. I mean, I didn't even follow him on social media. Like, I didn't even know what he did for work. I didn't know what he did for his life. I didn't know, like, anything. So everything I, like, discovered was there. I. And I think I'd overheard that, like, potentially, like, someone that was older, like, was gonna be there.
Rachel
I was gonna say, did you have him on your list?
Kat Izzo
I didn't have a list, Rachel. You know, I had a list last time. You know, I had.
Rachel
Oh, my God.
Kat Izzo
Every. I knew there was sun, moon, and star.
Rachel
I could l literally list cats list from 1 to 3 with the amount of list talking we talked about.
Kat Izzo
Yeah. We were all said, like. Like, that's the thing, and it truly is. But I really, like, I signed my contract, like, at Stagecoach, like, the weekend before. Like, I literally was like, I don't know if I'm gonna go.
Charity
I personally love that, you know, you at least did not have a list.
Kat Izzo
Yeah, it really.
Charity
Season before, like, I think everyone had, like, a ranking of, like, they knew.
Rachel
No idea the way that the girls would talk in the makeup room. And it's like Tyler's her number one but Tanner's my number three and he's. I was like, who? Who can I date?
Kat Izzo
No. Rachel hates hurting people's feelings.
Rachel
Like just tell me which one to date.
Kat Izzo
No, you were like so scared. Yeah.
Charity
Terrify me or anyone, honestly.
Kat Izzo
Yeah. And I was on the beach with my friends. I didn't even know.
Rachel
You were basically alone. Like you didn't have anyone from their.
Kat Izzo
Season and I was like. So you were just like so much better.
Rachel
Whoever goes. That's kind of how you did it.
Kat Izzo
Like it was so much better that way. You just, I mean for you care.
Rachel
No, I loved it. I loved meeting you guys.
Kat Izzo
Yeah. But like it's just better when you don't come in with like an idea. Cuz then you won't like limit your like emot availability. So yeah, with him I really just like took in for what I saw. So like if it wasn't kicking it then I like clocked it. If. Cuz then I feel like you're able to notice when things feel off because you don't have this like idea of this fantasy that you've already created versus like first time I did it there was probably a ton of signs for different reasons, but I had created something already in my head that you overlook it. So you can really just like be present with the person and the people in general. So yeah.
Charity
So like when he came to the beach or when he like had his arrival day, like what. What went through your mind?
Rachel
I mean I feel like I could see the light behind eyes. Just like it was twinkle, twinkle.
Kat Izzo
Oh my gosh.
Rachel
It was like love at first sight is what it seems like.
Kat Izzo
You were talking to Jonathan. You're like, it is not love at first sight. No, it looked like it.
Charity
I'm dead.
Kat Izzo
I was excited. I was excited because I was like, okay, like he's older, you know, and like I like hope that comes with different ass. Like things that like I feel like I align more with like people that are a little bit older than I am. Just in life. Like we have similarities with our seat. Like where our stages is at typically. But that can always. I'm open to whatever but. And then we didn't really get much time the first day because we had like rain so we went to bed pretty early and then. Yeah, I don't know, I was just like excited to see somebody new on the beach.
Charity
Yeah.
Kat Izzo
Because I kind of like really was still feeling everyone out.
Charity
So yeah, I was going to ask like at that point where you like did you have yourself maybe set on anybody before he came?
Kat Izzo
No, I don't think I was set at all. Like, it's just not like a thing. Like I was so fluid. It was so weird.
Charity
No, you like, I'm like, why am.
Kat Izzo
I so chill right now? Like what's going on?
Rachel
I feel like your time on the beach, like you guys did go through so much much.
Kat Izzo
We did.
Rachel
Like you went through the hardships and watching you have serious mature conversations. Like when I saw you doing that, so good. Well, cuz we know you could do it. I'm like, I was so proud of you. But watching that, I'm like, okay, this is definitely going to work out. Outside of paradise. Like you guys went to the beach, then you were like whisked off. You were like in Vegas. You were all over the place, like making out with your man. So after the show it was like still hot and heavy.
Kat Izzo
I mean so like there was definitely like we went through a lot of ups and downs that you can correlate into real life that I don't really feel like I experienced the first time. So that was a little bit more promising. But you know, being in this environment that no matter what like you experience there can. You never know how life is going to be when you leave, when work comes into play, family, priorities, everything like that. Like I really need my partner to prioritize me because that's how I move in a relationship and that's become more of my like non negotiable. And I feel like this is probably the first relationship I've ever been in where like my needs and wants are so clear and I'm able to communicate them. So if they're not meeting that like I can clock it in that in real time. And I felt like we had like glimpses of moments that could potentially like lead to something great. But it really just comes down to like in real life. And then. So when we first got off the show, it was good. He, he came and saw me like right away in San Diego because he's.
Rachel
In New York, right?
Kat Izzo
Yeah. And when I was on the show, I was like, hey, these are all the things I experienced like first time. And I need to make sure that like they're not going to do that. I was very clear that I'm not leaving San Diego. I just got there and you both.
Rachel
Were engaged, so you know what it's.
Kat Izzo
Like to leave like that. Exactly. Sorry, these are hurting my little ears. So yeah, I was very clear of like I don't do long distance I don't want to do long distance, and I'm willing to put in some time if that's the goal, and we're moving towards it, like, actively. And I was under the impression that his life is really fluid at the moment, so he was able to, like, he want. He said he wanted to leave New York and all these things, and sounds like San Diego was, like, a total option. And I was like, okay, that's, like, kind of perfect if that's something like that was in the way beginning. Like, I don't even think I would have spent more than, like, five minutes if that was not discussed early on, because that was such, like, a clear thing that I knew I wanted. And I was very, like, set on, like, this is where I'm living, so.
Rachel
Because what does he do for work?
Kat Izzo
Yeah.
Rachel
Oh, because you're a very talented.
Charity
We could talk about it.
Rachel
I don't really know. Okay, so we still don't know.
Kat Izzo
No shade to it, but I think it's a combination of, like. I know.
Rachel
So he should be moving to you.
Kat Izzo
Because you have a. I have an established job. I have an established, like, client community and everything like that. Granted. So his job definitely is centered around. Around, like, public spacing.
Rachel
Okay, so is he a model? I saw him in, like, I think a couple.
Charity
I truly am gonna fall out this chair.
Rachel
Is it party city?
Kat Izzo
If I say if, Please. Oh, you know what? He owns a tripod. Okay. He owns a tripod.
Rachel
He took those pictures in the taco costume.
Kat Izzo
Oh, no, no. But those are his job. His job requires the tripod and, like, in lighting stuff for sure.
Rachel
And a ring light.
Charity
I'm, like, physically ill today, and you know what?
Rachel
I mean. Listen, I get it. I, you know, same.
Kat Izzo
Yeah, same. Because we're girlies, but, like, I will never date a man that owns a tripod again. I will actually never. That is number one on my list. If you own a tripod, you're out. So sorry. The only reason. The only reason you know how to use a camera is take pictures of me and, like, sometimes yourself. But, like, if, you know.
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Kat Izzo
A parent.
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Rachel
Can I ask you a question?
Kat Izzo
Yeah.
Rachel
Was he ever like, let's make content? Like let's do.
Kat Izzo
Yeah.
Rachel
So it was like kind of pushing it because I think it's no secret to everyone who's listening that like when you leave the show and you're on tick tocks and making content, it does do well.
Kat Izzo
Yeah.
Rachel
So did that seem like something he was trying to push?
Kat Izzo
Not really with us together as much like it is his profession now. So like he kind of needs to be like, that's like how he makes money, right? So the more content he makes, the more it goes out. But like I do very different content than him. Like I'm like very authentic in the moment. Like I make like silly things and it feels forced. I'm like so strange in it. So like, I think we just have different ideas of what that looks like. But when we first came off the show, like he took it so seriously. Like we could not be seen in public in any capacity whatsoever. I Understand being like, you have to be careful.
Rachel
Yeah.
Kat Izzo
But it felt just, like, a little bit more intense.
Rachel
Knows better than me because.
Kat Izzo
Yeah, like, two.
Rachel
Two weeks.
Kat Izzo
Couldn't go in a gas station together. Like, he felt like everybody knew who he was. He's like, I dated the most. Like, I had this most public relationship. Everybody knows who I am. Like, I'm gonna get recognized everywhere.
Charity
Like. Like somebody was.
Rachel
I mean, you guys together, though, probably would get recognized.
Kat Izzo
Yeah. But it was in, like. I'm sure if we were out in crazy public spaces. Yeah. But it was just, like, a constant thing, and it felt like I was just like, how am I gonna.
Charity
Like, okay.
Rachel
Right.
Kat Izzo
Yeah. So it was just like, a lot of things that felt, like, super intense. That was, like, really disconnecting in a way for us. But I was just like, dude, nobody cares.
Rachel
Has he had a public relationship since Claire?
Kat Izzo
I mean, I think so.
Rachel
Okay.
Kat Izzo
Yeah. I guess his ex. But, like.
Charity
Yeah. Yeah.
Kat Izzo
But it's like he made. He felt as if, like. Yeah, he stands out in a room. Like, I'm not gonna disagree with that. But, like, we're okay. Like, we also, like, are in a real relationship, too, so we. I have to, like, feel that way in order to, like, come let the relationship grow. So we were trying our best to see each other and, like, the moments that we had. And, like, he had a lot of work obligations on the weekends and stuff, so. Were you going to New York? No, he said that it was way too public if we went to New York. And because he had. I don't know. I guess. I mean, it's definitely less than a year.
Commercial Voice
Is it, though?
Kat Izzo
Like, truly, I don't know, guys. I never cared. But he would come stay with me, like, a few times, like, for, like, a week or so. Because, like, he had the capacity to do that. And, like, I would work, so he would just, like, stay at my house and everything. So, like, we would see each other for extended periods of time. And then we kind of went on some trips as much as we could, like, secretly. But anyways. Yeah, I just felt like we still needed so much more to grow in the relationship. And I started to see how the other couples are moving as well. And I just was like, okay. Well, you know, especially, like, right before it was airing, I was like, okay, it's in a couple months. Like, what's our plan? Like, are we gonna. Are you gonna make your way here? Like, how are we gonna move this together? And kind of always just got really vague responses, one being, like, well, that's Always the goal. And I was like, okay, but, like.
Charity
How, like, give me a full plan.
Kat Izzo
I could never get a full answer. And then he was like, let's habilis, like, for now. And then said that, you know, I guess, like, other couples in this space, like, didn't, you know, come together until, I don't know when, like, maybe a year later or something. And at the time I was like, oh, I guess maybe I'm moving too fast or whatever. But then, like, as things started to settle, I was like, no, actually, I don't really care what other couples do. Like, that's what I want. That's how I want to grow a relationship. I thought you were in a space of life where, like, you could. Because that's what we talked about. But it felt like if he did, then he was gonna, like, hold resentment towards me because, like, San Diego is just, like, apparently to him, not anywhere that he could grow career, so.
Charity
And he. Did he tell you that?
Kat Izzo
Yeah. Yeah, but. So it just felt like, okay. I don't know. I never really got full answers, like, always. I don't really know what the true reason was. I don't really know what his intention always was. But that was, like, kind of before it aired. And then, you know.
Charity
Do you mind me asking, before you go on, like, what you guys specifically, I guess when he came to San Diego and visited you, like, how did you feel like either one of you, like, facilitated, like, the growth in your relationship? Because I know, like, like, Rachel is saying, like, happy couple time or just, like, the time that you guys have in hiding is, like, at least it was for me, super important.
Kat Izzo
Super important, right?
Charity
Because, like, that's like, how you, like, you are building up to this. Like, you know, you kind of have this momentum coming off the show, but it's like those are the crucial building stages of, like, okay, when this is public, this is how now we're going to, like, continue off of this foundation that we've already laid and, like, work together on while we've been secluded, which I think is the most, like, sacred, intimate space to do so.
Kat Izzo
And, like, it's such a. Like, we'll never get that time back. Because once it's public, it's public. So it's like, let's enjoy it while we can. So something I did. I think I gave you the book, too. One of this book I was reading. Is it Juan Pablo? Is that the author? Yeah, yeah. It's just like, I got us both the book and it was all different parts of, like, yourself in the relationship. So when we did start to face, like, hard moments, we had, like, a reference thing, and we were supposed to do it together. And I was kind of, like, always pushing, like, hard conversations.
Rachel
Hearing this coming from Cat, like, I'm so proud of you.
Kat Izzo
Listen, I.
Rachel
No, the book is really. It's like, I'm like, I'm so proud you've come so far.
Kat Izzo
SSRI are so good.
Rachel
Thank God for modern medicine.
Kat Izzo
I know. Well, honestly, I think not being in school, like, I. I finished MP school like, two years ago, and.
Rachel
Congratulations.
Kat Izzo
Thanks. I've been a nurse practitioner officially for two years, and I felt like, just that light, that lift of, like, okay, now I can, like, focus, and I'm not in, like, this crazy, like, survival mode all the time. And then moving to a new city at the same time and, like, re experiencing, like, a new season of life allows you to really, like, have the time. But I tried really hard to just kind of, like, keep us moving in a way that felt close. I am never afraid of hard conversations. I will initiate them right away and talk them through as, like, health, like, in every healthy way that I can at the time. Sometimes it was met with, you know, similar energy. Sometimes it wasn't. You know, we are offered, like, the therapy. And I tried that with him, but honestly, like, it was fine. It wasn't, like, super, like, hard, really. It just felt like it was getting stagnant.
Rachel
Did you start to feel like maybe you were more in it than him in those happiness?
Kat Izzo
I mean, I always feel that way. And I guess. I guess I. I had more. Not really, like, into it, but I had more, like, drive to grow together instead of a heart. And what I was gather. Gathering, I guess, in the sense of, like, how he views relationships is more of, like, an exchange of life, like, partnership almost, and not companionship. So he would, like, label companion. Like, he's like, well, you want, like, a companion? I was like, yeah, of course I do. Like, that's like, I want to be silly. I want to date my best friend. I want to be like. Like, I want to, like, just be our, like, most authentic and real selves. And like, I. That's like, I know I want to date my best friend. And I didn't know if we were, like, getting there, but he. You know, when your work is stressful, that can cause you to be a little disconnected with yourself, which I think affected him a little bit. So he was in a space of, like, I guess a busy season. It's just. I don't really know what was true. Like the problem is after everything is done now I look back to those moments when we had hard times and the responses that I got, and they could very well be not true and they could very well be like what he thought I needed to hear at the moment. So it's hard for me to speak. But that's the experience I lived then. But I don't really know what the underlying meaning or feeling is because I don't really know, like, who, like what lives on the inside, if that makes sense.
Rachel
Do you feel like he was like playing a part just because paradise was about to air?
Kat Izzo
I think he plays a part. I think he definitely plays parts in everyday life. Like that's how he.
Charity
That's like who he is.
Kat Izzo
Yes. Yeah.
Charity
Or that's why he gives to the world.
Kat Izzo
At least that's how I've experienced it. I think my experience.
Rachel
Yeah, you still don't really know who he is.
Kat Izzo
Yeah, I guess.
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Rachel
Where was the first crack? Like, that you really started to notice that this wasn't going to work.
Kat Izzo
Yeah, that's crack. That's a good one. Honestly, probably while it was airing, there was moments. This is the first time that I've ever, like, they. I felt like so much that what you saw was so true to form. So I'm watching situations that I thought I understood or I was like, thought that that was the situation.
Rachel
Like what?
Kat Izzo
Like the Alicia and Jonathan and that one. Well, first it was the. I saw our interaction right when you're having, like, our first fight on Paradise. So when you're in those moments, it's kind of hard to remember, but I was kind of experienced similar communication in real life, which I brought up to him, and then it became this whole thing. So I kind of let that die down. It was whatever. But I noticed that he was not honest with me. So in Paradise, I was told that, like, when I first was told that by Jonathan, about how Dale said that he wanted to just go on a date, I guess to, like, get me worked up, which is my worst fear, because I get worked up. Really.
Rachel
We heard him say it.
Kat Izzo
Right, right, right. So when I heard that from Jonathan, I was like, oh, this is. I don't do games. Like, you can literally go play with someone else. And that became a big thing. But he told me that that came out of Sean's mouth, like, verbatim. He said Jonathan was not even in the room, that they were talking about it before Birds of Paradise, all this stuff, stuff. And I'm like, Sean would say that because he's always trying to, like, mess with me, whatever. So I'm like, oh, maybe Jonathan misunderstood, whatever, moved on. It was not until, like, I think the day or two before it aired, we were, like, driving back from some event we were doing in la, like, with Bachelor, and he mentioned that Jonathan. Or wait, what did he mention? He mentioned that it was actually said outside of the room. And then it did come from him, but.
Charity
So he confessed.
Kat Izzo
But he said that Jonathan still was not said to him, that it was said in general. Like, he stood on that. And I'm like, wait, so that did come out of your mouth? Like, what do you mean? And he was like, like, yeah, like, brushing it off. I didn't really get any details. I was like, what? But I get it. Like, you're in these places. Like, maybe it's hard to remember things, whatever. Then I actually watched him say it to Jonathan's face. And I'm like, you don't mix that up. Like, that happened. And at the same time, I'm seeing how he was with Alicia, which none of that, I didn't even know. Alicia didn't like me. I didn't know any of that. So I'm like, it's bringing back a lot of, like, old trauma from two years ago where I saw people's, like, feelings about me without knowing. And it was just really, really. That was, like, one of the hardest episodes to watch. And I really needed him to just, like, reassure me and, like, we talk it through. Because I could be really understanding and forgiving. Like, I don't, like, hold grudges. I wish I did, but, like, I can't. Like, it's just like. But I can understand people make mistakes, and you have low character moments, especially in these environments. Right. But it was completely, like, deflected. He, I guess, was going through something else and, like, could not talk to me. And, like, I felt like every time I tried to bring up something that I was experiencing watching the show, he was like, well, we already moved past that. Like, why are we talking about that right now? Well, I moved past something completely different. And, like, I don't want this to reflect, like, what's gonna happen. And, like. Like, let's just, like, have a conversation. And it just kept getting, like, minimized, in my opinion. Minimized. And just, like, not. Not any accountability or reflection of his own moments. That's when we tried to do the therapy. But then, no compassion either. Like, hello, I know. Well, I guess I was supposed to have compassion for him, for whatever was happening. Instead.
Charity
Well, it's. It's both parties. Yeah. You can have compassion, and rightfully so. Like, you're expressing something that's difficult. Where you need like, that is this first step is like, you were expressing these emotions and what you're going through to him now it up to him for him to digest that and then give you back, in turn, what you need. So zero compassion.
Kat Izzo
Right. And for me, that all comes down to communication. So we saw that our communication did not align very well. And I noticed every time that we tried to bring, like, it felt like he was still in that space where he felt under attack, which is okay. Like, I have lived that by the audience, by everybody. No, just like, so anytime I bring up something, it was like, let me prove to you why I'm not wrong in what you're feeling. Not let me understand your feelings more. Not let me understand myself more, which is a maturity thing. Like, I think that that just takes time. But then it was. I've studied stress management and I know all these things about like communication. I've done all this stuff. And so like, I don't. Don't bother me with this. Like I'm 36 years old. Like, blah, blah, like, okay, that's insane. Yeah, like, congrats.
Charity
But like, okay, you study stretching it. Let's see it.
Kat Izzo
Yeah, show me. Right, so show me what's.
Charity
What's really going on.
Kat Izzo
Show me. Yeah, it was really weird. And then, you know, he did stuff on weekends that like, I guess required a lot of his attention. So I felt just like I didn't even have a boyfriend at some point. Like I was like, am I in a relationship right now? Like, I don't really feel like loved or like taken care of in the way I thought I was going to. So those were just like my experience. Like, not to say that he couldn't. Like, that might be what's okay for someone else, but like, I know what I need a lot more than what I was receiving. And it just felt like I either have to accept his lifestyle and his life or like move on. It didn't feel like it was. We were building, trying to build together a relationship together. And so that kind of just like was always in the back of my head. And then we met. He met my family and everything was fine there actually. And then it was. Yeah, I. He was like around the week of the reunion and he was staying with me at my house. And I think maybe he was stressed with work or something. I don't know. I just kept feeling like I was in the same room with him and like I was alone. And I feel like he's been stressed.
Rachel
With work for months now.
Kat Izzo
I mean, that's what you said. It's always. Yeah. And so what do I. I'm just. No, that's so valid. Yeah, exactly.
Rachel
It sounds like Kat was more than clear about what she wanted.
Kat Izzo
I also work even happen every single week, four to five times a week. Seeing multiple patients, working ten hour days. Okay. Like, I have just as much on my brain and then trying to manage and live my life and friends and family and social and a cat. So like I have just. We all have responsibilities. It's either do you want to fit your partner in your life or you don't. And sometimes like people have different priorities and how that balance looks for them. And I started to notice, like, maybe our balance of what we want in a relationship is off. Like, and that's okay. I don't try to make People into what I want anymore. I used to do that. And I'm like, you're either it or you're not, because, like, I don't care. Like, I would much rather be alone than be in a relationship and feel alone. And so that started to be what I was experiencing. And then, yeah, he was. It was just not very good, healthy communication. I didn't really feel like I was, like, very seen or anything. Whatever things would be discussed. And I also felt like I was the only one, like, initiating, like, hard conversations in terms of maybe, like, every time I would initiate them, I still never knew where we got. Like, it was.
Charity
There was no clarity.
Kat Izzo
Talking in, like, actual circles. I was like, the beginning of that sentence did not have anything to do with the end. Like, let's stay on track here. And I started to get. Lose a lot of patience with that, because that's just, like, not how I work. And then we went. We became public and everything. And what I loved was, like. And I was, like, really stressed about how everything was going down with Alicia and Sean and my ex and everything. And, like, I was really focused on, like, that because it was bringing back a lot of trauma from before. So I was like, I. It was hard for me to balance everything together. So he was really supportive with that, which I appreciated. Looking back, I'm like, was he just supportive because it made him look better or, like, was he actually. Did he really care? Because, like, in the reunion, I felt like every. I had things to say and I was gonna stand for myself. And he was so specific about, like, staying composed. He kept saying, composure is, like, such a thing. And I was like, what does that.
Rachel
Like, he didn't want me to talk.
Kat Izzo
You can. If you watch that reunion, that man, that was, like, trying, like, was trying so hard to make me quiet.
Rachel
Like, I feel like you guys were like, a unified. Like, he was almost like, that's an optic thing.
Charity
That's 100. You don't think so?
Kat Izzo
What? Oh, the fact that him saying.
Charity
Suggesting to you to stay composed, that's an optic thing.
Kat Izzo
Oh, yeah. Like, I felt like it's like, you.
Charity
Guys, she should know one. Who he's dating, he knows. So he knows this personality that, you know, whether or not you have something to say and you're passionate about it or whatever, he already knows that. So to suggest, oh, please stay composed in this moment is like, I don't want to hear any, like, thing from the audience. I want us to be perceived as, you know, this couple. Like that.
Kat Izzo
And. And also, no, no, I've had so many moments up into that point where I've proven my composure, which then I started to feel like, oh, I have to, like, prove that to him. And that's extremely triggering for me, like, living in a space where you're trying to prove this version of yourself to your partner, when, like, it's like, you could just see me for who I am, you know, I shouldn't have to prove that. And I think I proved it very well once again. Then the show was done, and I was, like, able to, like, actually live in this relationship and experience this relationship, I think, fully and, like, completely. And now there's no excuse about not being able to see in public now. There's none of that. So I still felt, like, off. And we went on this weekend trip to what I thought was going to be more about, like, us. And I wanted to go to New York Fashion Week, but I guess he had this big thing that he wanted us to do in Vegas with the boxing, and it ended up being me in, like, a house with a bunch of guys. Like, I was the only girl. And, like, you've never even seen me put on a boxing glove in your life. Like, I don't.
Charity
I'm so weak.
Kat Izzo
What is that? I was like, what? I go the day before is when I learned that we were going to be this influencer house that I was. He's like. I was like, deal.
Rachel
He didn't even get you guys a hotel. Like, nothing separate you.
Kat Izzo
This actually was for him. It was his paid opportunity. I didn't get paid, but he made it feel like, oh, this is what. Like, this is way cooler. Like, everybody's going, blah, blah. But at first, I said yes, because I thought we were gonna be, like, in a hotel and doing all these things. God, I don't even know. Maybe he created fake messages, like, because he. I don't know.
Rachel
So were you going into this knowing it was a job for him? Like, he had worked?
Kat Izzo
Not really, no.
Rachel
He presented it to you as, this is something we're gonna do together.
Charity
Like, just a fun weekend.
Kat Izzo
Fun weekend. But, like, it's obviously, like, we're bunched with. With people that, like, are in the same space. But, like, I learned that I was gonna be staying in a house, having to participate in workouts. Like, actual, like, boxing workouts.
Rachel
This is my night.
Kat Izzo
No, I was like, wait, what is this schedule? I'm like, I'm not going. Like, we don't have to be like.
Rachel
What is this, Rocky? Like, you're getting up.
Kat Izzo
He's like, you don't have to do it. Like, blah, blah, blah. I was like, wait, what? What is going on? I'm like, what? And so. Yeah, it was just like, so not anything me. So. Right. So you're bringing me into an environment. Like, I love to try new things. Sure, whatever. Like, I'll be. But like, you're still bringing me into an environment that's all new for me. I know no one. And then once again, I felt completely alone.
Rachel
Kat, you know what the crazy thing is? I remember seeing like all the coverage of this at the time and it seemed like you guys were like such a happy couple.
Kat Izzo
Yeah, no, that's like the Internet for you.
Rachel
So was that him? That's like, I want to present this to the public. Even though you were not having a good time.
Kat Izzo
We had our biggest fight there.
Rachel
Okay, so obviously this conversation is far from over. So tomorrow we are going to do a part two and dive into the actual breakup.
Kat Izzo
Okay?
Charity
And we are so excited. So, Bachelor Nation, this is Bachelor happy hour. Make sure that you are tuned in subscribing and don't forget to listen. See you guys soon.
Bowen Yang
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Hosts: Charity Lawson & Rachel Recchia
Guest: Kat Izzo
In this exclusive episode, Kat Izzo joins former Bachelorettes Charity Lawson and Rachel Recchia to make her first public comments about her breakup with Dale, whom she met on Bachelor in Paradise. The episode centers on Kat’s honest reflection about her second stint on Paradise, her whirlwind romance with Dale, and ultimately, the tough realities of their relationship outside the show. The conversation is full of humor, candor, and emotional vulnerability as Kat unpacks what happened – and what didn’t – when the cameras stopped rolling.
Timestamp: 04:18–07:49
Timestamp: 07:55–12:11
Timestamp: 12:39–15:55
Timestamp: 20:32–23:39
Timestamp: 23:39–28:29
Timestamp: 33:06–41:00
Timestamp: 38:49–41:45
Timestamp: 41:00–44:17
Timestamp: 44:19–44:29
This episode offers an unfiltered look behind the scenes of a much-discussed Bachelor Nation romance. Kat Izzo lays bare her confusion, disappointment, and ultimately resilience as she explains why her relationship with Dale didn’t survive real life. Despite surface-level happiness on Instagram, Kat describes a pattern of avoidance, unclear communication, and mismatched priorities. The episode closes on a cliffhanger, previewing an even deeper dive into the breakup in part two.
Listeners get both insight and entertainment: a revealing peek into the emotional aftermath of Paradise and what it means to put oneself (and one's heart) out there in the most public way possible.