Hakeem Is in Love! | Golden Hour

Summary

---

Bachelor Happy Hour: Golden Hour

Episode: “Hakeem Is in Love!”
Date: January 29, 2026
Hosts: Kathy & Susan
Guest: Hakeem Hayakim (Bachelor in Paradise, Season 10)

---

Episode Overview

This Golden Hour installment of Bachelor Happy Hour welcomes back fan favorite Hakeem Hayakim. The conversation centers around Hakeem’s rekindled romance with Monica — his ex-girlfriend from before his Bachelor Nation fame. Together with hosts Kathy and Susan, Hakeem shares candid details about their reconnection, the challenges they faced concerning racism within her family, and how his Bachelor journey shaped his outlook on love. The episode delivers raw honesty, practical dating advice, and a glimpse behind the scenes of post-Paradise relationships.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Hakeem’s Relationship Journey with Monica

(03:14—13:39)

• Background: Hakeem and Monica first dated from 2021–2023 after meeting on Hinge. Their initial breakup was due to troubling racist behavior from members of Monica’s family.
  • "[Monica is] absolutely anti-racist… she basically told me, like, 'I don't want anything to do with my family, because if I do have kids with you, my kids are going to be Black. They need to do intense therapy and take accountability.'" — Hakeem (06:20)
• Reconnection: After some time apart — and in a surprising twist — it was a hostile family group chat (meant to drive them apart) that brought them back together.
  • “Her brother put us in a chat… that’s how we started talking again. It was the complete opposite of what he thought.” — Hakeem (05:17)
• Second Chances: Monica made the first move, offering to help Hakeem with his social media. Their renewed interaction started out as “strictly business” before romance slowly reignited.
  • "It was strictly business at the beginning. I respected that from her… it was a slow process." — Hakeem (07:11)
• Living Situation: Currently, the couple is working on moving in together in Chicago, a decision that felt mutual and natural.
  • "We're actually in that process right now." — Hakeem (08:53)
  • Monica’s profession: She’s an instructional designer specializing in contractor manuals. (10:18)

---

Love, Growth, and Lessons from Bachelor Nation

(19:29—21:36)

• Priorities Changed: Hakeem says his time on The Bachelor and Paradise made him value time and effort more profoundly.
  • “Every moment with her… means so much to me… If you’re giving half-ass, or you’re not showing your cards, that’s the shit that’s never going to get you anywhere.” — Hakeem (19:45)
• No More Games: He no longer “wastes time” in relationships; he’s ready for marriage and is already thinking well ahead with Monica.
  • “Her and I've dated before already. We don’t need to go through it all again. What are we going to do here? Either we're going to be a married couple or…” — Hakeem (20:22)
• Proposal Plans: Hakeem confidently confirms he plans to marry Monica — though he jokes about not revealing the exact timing on the podcast.
  • “I absolutely do want to marry her. And I will propose.” — Hakeem (20:57)

---

Dealing with Racism and Family Conflicts

(04:43—13:39)

• Family Estrangement: Monica currently does not speak to much of her family due to their racist attitudes, although she maintains ties with a cousin who is supportive.
  • “She doesn’t talk with her family… her cousin is supportive, especially since her partner is Black too.” — Hakeem (13:05)
• Stance on Family: Despite the pain, Hakeem encourages Monica to keep a relationship with her family if she wishes, but only if there’s accountability and change.

---

Navigating Modern Dating — Advice from Hakeem

(27:00—32:34; 38:35—44:00)

• Be Vulnerable: Hakeem urges men to break away from toxic alpha stereotypes, and not be afraid to show real emotions.
  • “That alpha male that everyone puts in your head — you can’t be very sweet to your girl, you can’t express your feelings — really, get over it… just be yourself.” — Hakeem (27:00)
• Dating Etiquette: He advocates honest communication, emotional intelligence, and not playing games.
  • “Show up for the girl, make her feel safe… ask questions to make her feel like you actually care.” — Hakeem (31:01)
• Women Making the First Move: Hakeem is open to women approaching men but believes guys should initiate — women can signal interest (“choosing signals”) via eye contact and smiles.
  • “We men have something to prove to the woman. I don’t think the woman has something to prove to us.” — Hakeem (29:38)
• Navigating Dating Apps & Age Range: Honest discussion about age ranges on apps and finding organic connections. Hakeem encourages Kathy and Susan to date younger if that's where the chemistry is.
  • “Get you a younger man… some men want younger women, but not all. Just be authentic and see who responds.” — Hakeem (43:17)
• On Multi-Dating: Hakeem explains that dating around is normal for finding compatibility, as long as it’s within ethical and honest boundaries. (32:00)

---

Behind-the-Scenes: Life Post-Paradise

(23:17—24:46)

• New Ventures: Hakeem is diving into modeling, preparing for Miami and New York Fashion Weeks, and is excited for the next season of The Bachelorette.
• Bachelor Nation Relationships: Playful banter about matchmaking within the franchise, including Susan and Kathy’s own love lives and the logistics of long-distance romance.
  • “We want to meet [Monica]! We want to see the ring. I think you should get engaged on our podcast!” — Susan (48:45)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Rekindled Romance:
  “What’s mine is mine. You know, I gotta let everybody know.”
  — Hakeem (04:04)

• On Family and Racism:
  “I love her for who she is. Like, I would want her to have that family dynamic, because family is huge to me.”
  — Hakeem (05:25)

• On Authenticity in Dating:
  “Dude, just be yourself… that is literally the advice I would tell anybody.”
  — Hakeem (27:33)

• On Showing Up:
  “Show up for the girl, make her feel safe. Don't ever, ever, ever not ask, ‘Are you okay with it?’ If you feel like you’re asking, that’s the right thing to do.”
  — Hakeem (31:01)

• Host Susan, on dating:
  “I already answered. This is called ‘asked and answered,’ as they say in court.”
  — Susan (26:24)

• On Dating Apps & Age:
  “You're younger than most 60-year-olds that I know.”
  — Kathy (47:57)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 03:14 – Hakeem joins; intro to his love story
• 04:43 – The family incident and their initial breakup
• 05:56 – How Monica made the first move to reconnect
• 08:46 – Living situation and plans for the future
• 13:01 – Monica’s relationship with her family now
• 19:45 – Lessons learned from The Bachelor experience
• 20:57 – Hakeem confirms engagement is in his plans
• 23:17 – Hakeem’s career update and upcoming ventures
• 27:00 – Advice for single men; authenticity over “alpha male”
• 29:38 – Men making the first move; views on approaching
• 32:00 – Dating multiple people to find compatibility
• 38:35 – Why dating is hard today
• 43:17 – Discussion about dating apps and age range
• 47:30 – Susan on her dating preferences
• 48:45 – Hosts encourage podcast engagement
• 50:56 – Bachelor Nation check-in: April’s update

---

Tone & Takeaways

The conversation is warm, candid, and often playful — with Hakeem’s directness providing the episode’s emotional honesty. The hosts keep things light with supportive banter, but serious issues like racism in relationships and real dating struggles are addressed without sugar-coating. Listeners come away with both inspiring affirmations (“be yourself,” “show up for your partner”) and actionable advice for navigating love in the post-Bachelor world.

---

Transcript

[Podcast Announcer]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Dr. Jake Goodman]

Guaranteed Human Ever been at a pharmacy counter and your mind goes blank when the pharmacist asks any questions? That's why you need to listen to beyond the Script from CVS Pharmacy and iHeartMedia. Hosted by Dr. Jake Goodman, each episode features real conversations with CVS pharmacists, the health experts you see most, breaking down the questions you wish you'd asked, from which meds may not mix well to what vaccines you need before a big trip. They'll bust myths, decode trends, and share practical advice you can actually use. Listen to beyond the script on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Get your podcasts on February 13th I love him. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same experience.

[TurboTax Advertiser]

The greatest love story of all time.

[Podcast Announcer]

Why did you leave me?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Why did you betray your own heart.

[TurboTax Advertiser]

Of Phil Film by Emerald Fennell, Margot.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Robbie, Jacob Elordi Kiss Me and let us both be damned.

[TurboTax Advertiser]

Wuthering Heights Original Songs by Charlie XCX only in theaters February 13 Experience at an IMAX rated R under 17 not admitted without Parent Tax season has arrived.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

And doing taxes without the right help can feel overwhelming. Intuit Turbo Tax is here now to guide you through it with confidence. Match with a TurboTax full service expert who handles everything for you from start to finish. Your dedicated expert checks every single deduction and credit to help you get the best possible outcome so you can feel confident you're getting every dollar you deserve. And the best part? You'll see real time updates on your expert's progress right on your phone while you live your life. Plus, you get unlimited expert help at no extra cost even on nights and weekends during tax season. Visit turbotax.com Only available with TurboTax Full Service Experts Real time updates only on iOS mobile app.

[Bowen Yang]

This is Bowen Yang from Lost Culture Resource with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. We all know the feeling when life gets really busy. Taking care of yourself can feel impossible. That's why Premier Protein shakes are my go to. They have 30 grams of protein, 160 calories, no added sugar, and they taste amazing. So they're a healthy choice you'll actually want to make. It's it's not just for fitness, it's for getting after life. Premier Protein powers me to say yes to more. Find your favorite [e-mail] that's P R E M I E R protein.com hey.

[Tara Davis Woodhull]

This is US Olympic gold medalist Tara.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Davis Woodhull and I'm US Paralympic gold medalist Hunter Woodhull.

[Tara Davis Woodhull]

As athletes, our lives are about having.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

A clear path and a team that you can absolutely trust.

[Tara Davis Woodhull]

So when it came to getting the.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Best mortgage, we chose PennyMac.

[Tara Davis Woodhull]

PennyMac is proud to be the official mortgage provider of Team USA and you.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Learn more at pennymac.com PennyMac Loan Services, LLC equal housing lender NMLS ID 35953 licensed by the Department of Financial Protection and Innovation under the California Residential Mortgage Lending act, conditions and restrictions may apply.

[Kathy]

Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks so much for joining us today. Kathy, are you so excited to be here today?

[Susan]

I am. So we have one of our favorites. We have a very special guest returning to Golden Hour. Please welcome from season 10 of paradise, who unfortunately left before I got there. Hakeem. Hakeem Hayakim.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

You could have just said olive oil's own paradise with you. You didn't have to say, oh, he left unfortunately before. Girl, we know it.

[Kathy]

You were only there for a minute.

[Susan]

Welcome back, though. We're so glad you're back on. Happy.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Yes. I'm glad I'm here as well. And I'm your favorite. Not one of your favorites.

[Kathy]

No, you're my.

[Susan]

Well, yeah, let me just say, I just. Before we get into anything, I'm just gonna give a little teaser here. Susan, while she is smiling, is brokenhearted because you've ditched her for another. Apparently. We're gonna get it.

[Kathy]

No, I'm happy for you. We. She's appearing a lot in your photos.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Yeah, I mean, I. What's mine is mine. You know, I gotta let everybody know.

[Susan]

Yeah. What's her name? I heard it's Monica.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Her name is Monica.

[Kathy]

Where did we meet?

[Susan]

How do we meet?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Yeah. So it's actually. Let's start. It's a long story. Okay. So she's actually a person that I dated in my past. So I met her via hinge once upon a time. So we dated from 2021 to 2023, and then we had some unfortunate things happen within her family dynamic. That's the nicest way for me to say it. I can be very upfront if you'd like me to, but that's.

[Susan]

We want you to be okay. Yeah.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Yeah. I mean, there was racist things that were happening in the family at the time. Yeah. It's okay. You're good. We're all good. When I came off Bachelorette, I got like a text message with her and him with Monica and her brother in it saying, like, us word. Your stupid N word with the ER at the End. So it was just like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, but you know, it's very unfortunate.

[Susan]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Hakim, who wrote those things to you?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Her brother. Her name's his name. I'm not gonna name.

[Susan]

No, we don't need his name. I just didn't know who.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Yeah, her. Oh, his older. Yeah, her older brother. But it's funny because he put us in the chat, which we weren't talking, and then it kind of brought us together. So it was like it was the complete opposite of what he thought. And two years. Yeah, I'm happy with her. And like I've told her, like she would never have to cut off her family if, you know, because I love her for who she is. Like, I would want her to have that family dynamic because family is huge to me.

[Kathy]

Who made the person after the chat like.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Yeah, no, I, I mean she, she, after that whole entire situation happened, she made her first move with me. Like, hey, like, your social media is awful. I can help you out.

[Susan]

Wait, I'm sorry, guys, I am not following this. You said you dated her from 21 to 23. We're now in 2026. So what. How did we get back together? Did I miss something here?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

No, you didn't. I was getting to it.

[Susan]

Listen, I have a plane to catch in two hours, so if, you know, if we could get to the salient information here, I'd really appreciate it.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

No, I get it, I get it, I get it. So basically what I'm saying is, is that whole scenario happened and you know, Monica, she's absolutely anti racist and with all that, and she basically told me, like, I don't want anything to do with my family because if I do have kids with you, my kids are going to be black. So ultimately speaking, they need to do intense therapy and then they also need to take accountability with certain things. That's not okay. So.

[Kathy]

And this, this conversation.

[Susan]

How did we get back together?

[Kathy]

Yeah, how did we rekindle?

[Susan]

How did you rekindle? You said you did.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

I just told you. He, he, he set up the chat. Yeah, he said the text. And then she made the, the move was like, hey, your social media isn't good. Can I help you with your social media? So I, she helped me with my social media and I was.

[Susan]

Apparently she helped you with a whole lot more.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Oh, no, actually, not in the beginning. Not in the beginning. It was strictly business at the beginning. And I respected that from her because, you know, if it was me, I would have went in Straight away, right away.

[Susan]

Susan, help him out here. If you think that Monica came back into. Strictly to use your term, help you with your social media, you need a dating advisor, and Susan and I are here to help you out.

[Kathy]

There's something you just said about her that she Definitely not prejudiced. And why did the breakup happen then? Because her family.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Yeah. So in the beginning, it was more like the whole scenario happened with her family at. I took her mom out for Mother's Day.

[Dr. Jake Goodman]

For.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Yeah, for her. For Mother's Day.

[Bowen Yang]

For her.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

And I didn't even get to take my own mom out that day, but I took it out this Sunday. But besides the point.

[Kathy]

Besides the point, I always like.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

But she first started out with saying, like, hey, like, you know, I thought your person was this other person that you were dating in junior high, and I was two years in dating Monica at the time, and she was like, yeah, you were supposed to marry that guy. He was the guy for you. And I'm just kind of like, yo. Like, yeah, okay, I guess I'm not enough visible. What am I, invisible? But, yeah, there was just a lot of things that happened, and I'm kind of trying to not say exactly the things that kind of went on, in a sense. Microaggressions. Go ahead.

[Susan]

No, so I'm curious how. Because you previously did her. Like, how serious are you now with her?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Like, I would say, in this stage of my life as a whole, I'm not wasting my time.

[Susan]

Are we moving in together?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Like, we're actually in that process right now.

[Kathy]

Whoa, this is big. Serious.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

What? I mean, she.

[Susan]

She.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Susan]

Well, Hakeem, do you need Susan and me to find out her ring size? I mean, where are we? Let's.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Oh, I know her ring size already. I have that in my phone.

[Susan]

Okay, this is where you say, can I do the wedding? Susan.

[Kathy]

Okay, so you asked her to move in, right?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

No, it was more like it was just mutual. We just kind of just came together in a sense.

[Susan]

Right.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Because I was already. This is back in Wisconsin in a sense, so I moved to Chicago, so. And it's a such a messy story with how this all worked out, but I just want you guys to focus on. The point is, is that when all of that happened, she checked in on me, made sure I was okay throughout the whole entire process. And then she kind of slid in with like, let me help you with your social media. Obviously, I know she doesn't want to just work on my social media, but I'm not gonna say, what is it? That you really want. For me, it's not social media. Do you want to get back together or this or that? It's like a slow process. I would do the same thing if I was in her shoes. I'm not gonna go straight in for the kill. I'm gonna go in step by step on how I'm gonna try to get them back. And it works, truthfully, because my social media was bad. It's still not the best in the world. But she's helped me out so much, you know what I mean? So I'm very thankful nonetheless about it. She's. She's been amazing. She's been amazing.

[Susan]

So wait, and, like, where do you live? Where do you guys live? And what does she do for a living?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Chicago. And she's an instructional designer. So, like, it's like what they do is kind of like they make manuals for contractors. So people who work in, like, plants, they make, like, step by step guides on how to do the specific work or whatever. Very efficient.

[Susan]

Or a step by step guide how to get Hakeem back.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Call him up and say that or that, too. Or that too.

[Kathy]

So she was living in Chicago anyhow?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

No, no, no, no. Oh, she was living in Wisconsin. Oh, yes, yes. So now. So now. So we kind of, in a sense. Okay, let me just break everything down. Okay. So 2023 happens with the whole entire scenario with her family. And a lot of things were kind of escalating, so I kind of removed myself from there. I leave Wisconsin at that time. I was actually living with her at that specific time when I was with her in 2023. So I leave, I go with my mother, I leave. And I'm just kind of like, yo, I'm not doing that. I can't deal with that. I'm not going to marry somebody whose family treats me the way that they treat me, even though I love her so much. So, like, I kind of cut it off. Cold turkey, all that. And the third, I'm at my mother's house. And then also at the time, I still have my Milwaukee address that I'm paying rent for because I'm not leaving her cold turkey without paying the rent. So.

[Kathy]

And then you did paradise in between.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Say again?

[Kathy]

And then you went and did paradise in between.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Exactly. That's why I was going to kind of go into that. So, like, in 2024, happens, like, I. I date around. I get hit up to do the Bachelorette so that I'm like, cool, let's, let's. Right. Not like, yeah, why not do so then I do it. I get booted. Obviously, you guys know. But after the fact, when I was dropped on being on the Bachelorette, I got these text message, like, really aggressive text messages, like, hardy are like, I'm get people and beat you up and all that. And I'm just kind of confused, like, where is this coming from in the first place, right? So, dad, I'm just so confused, like, what did I do in the first place? Right? The single man just trying to live his best life. But in that case, she was like, whoa. Like, responding to the text message, like, this is disgusting. I can't believe you would say something like that after all he's done for us. Blase blah actually made it. Made it very easy for us to get back together because it's kind of like us versus her family at that time. So cool. Back in there, we get. We get talking, and she helps me out with my social media. Like, she first checks in me and she says, like, hey, like, I'm so sorry. And I'm so sorry that, like, I didn't see all this much sooner because she was picking up on it, but when you're actually in it and, yeah, you're blind sometimes.

[Susan]

So how are things with her. Her family now?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

She doesn't. She doesn't talk with her family. I mean, she has a cousin that she, like, reached out to her after they saw that we were together, and she was like, I always knew you guys were together. And it was some reason why. Because her. Her partner is black too. Let's also mention that. So her partner's black too. He doesn't go to their family functions because he's heard about the things that her.

[Susan]

You know, this whole thing, especially with what's going on in our world right now, this is just more sadness. Why can't people. I mean, no one is colorblind, but why can't we just treat people with love and respect? I don't know. I don't know.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

No, I. I mean, it's beyond me. And I try not try to get an understanding on why, because there's no reason why. Right? It's a learned behavior.

[Dr. Jake Goodman]

Ever been at a pharmacy counter and the pharmacist asks, do you have any questions? And suddenly your mind goes blank? That's exactly why you need to listen to beyond the script from CVS Pharmacy and iHeartMedia. Hosted by Dr. Jake Goodman, this podcast brings you real conversations with CVS pharmacists, the health experts you see most answering the questions you wish you'd asked like which medications might not mix well, what vaccines you should consider before a big trip, and even those questions you are too embarrassed to say out loud. Each episode busts myths, decodes health trends and gives you practical, trustworthy advice straight from the people behind the counter. No white coats, no lectures. Just real talk, real answers and maybe a few laughs. Listen to beyond the script on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. You know that cycle, the spike, the crash, the craving vapes, pouches. They keep you hooked and honestly, it's exhausting. Plus, your inhaling chemicals are irritating your gums. Quitting isn't just about saying no to cravings, it's about building better habits. That's where Jones comes in. Jones is a science backed alternative. No smoke, no vapor, no hidden chemicals. Just a discreet mint that helps you ride out those 60 second cravings without stepping outside or disappearing from the moment. And when the urge hits hard, their free app connects you with over 10,000 people on the same path. Plus fun tools like QUITTL to keep you motivated. Digital support can boost quit rates by 40%, and when you add Jones mints, it's even higher. Here's how to start Take the quick Jones quiz to find your ideal mint strength. Pop a mint when cravings hit and track your progress in the app. Simple, Smart, Supportive. If you're ready to take a step toward quitting or even just a safer nicotine option, check out Quit with Jones. Visit quitwithjones.com Happy Hour to take the free quiz and use code Happy hour to get $10 off your personalized quitting journey. That's quitwithjones.com happyhour taking back control starts now. Thanks to Quit with Jones for sponsoring this episode. Just a heads up, the mitts contain nicotine, which is an addictive chemical. Jones is FDA approved and available for those that are 18 and older.

[Podcast Announcer]

From Warner Bros. Pictures and award winning filmmaker Emerald Fennell comes Wuthering Heights, starring Margot Robbie opposite Jacob Elordi. In the spirit, bold reimagining of Emily Bronte's classic novel of the same name, Fennell takes audiences on a yearning and emotionally charged journey following star crossed lovers Kathy, played by Robbie, and Heathcliff, played by Elordi, as their forbidden love for one another turns from romantic to intoxicating in an epic tale of lust, love and madness. Heathcliff's plea says it be with me always. Take any form. Drive me mad. Go see this visually intoxicating It Girl cultural phenomenon of the season. Wuthering Heights Come Undone. Only in theaters February 13th. Experience it in IMAX. Be sure to check out Charli XCX's new album Wuthering Heights, featuring new music from the Wuthering Heights movie. Rated R under 17 not admitted without a parent.

[Tara Davis Woodhull]

Did you know that 80% of your immune system is housed in your gut? I never knew that, but it makes sense because it's tough to feel your best when your gut feels out of balance. Now there's a convenient, on the go way to support your gut health with a gentle daily detox to help your body feel light and balanced. It's called Chlorophyll Stick Packs from Nature's Sunshine. They're easy to mix and a simple way to incorporate a daily detox to feel lighter, more energized and more regular. I hate when you mix things into water and you can taste the powder, but chlorophyll stick packs mix super smooth and the flavors are great too. Plus the taste isn't overly sweet, which is so important to me. Nature Sunshine Chlorophyll Stick Packs freshen from the inside out. They naturally neutralize odors and support your body. They also help your body eliminate toxins while supporting gut balance and providing antioxidant support by helping fight free radicals and promoting cellular health. Get a daily detox with Chlorophyll stick packs and Nature Sunshine is offering 20% off of your first order plus free shipping. Go to naturesunshine.com and use Happy Hour at checkout and that's code happyhouraturesunshine.com doing.

[TurboTax Advertiser]

Taxes the old way meant handing everything off and just hoping things were moving. But now you can feel confident your taxes are being handled right with Intuit TurboTax. Now you match with a TurboTax full service expert. Just upload your documents right in the app and boom. They take it from there. Start to finish, you've got a dedicated expert working your return. They check every deduction and credit to help you get the best possible outcome so you can feel confident you're getting every dollar you deserve. And now you're not guessing what's happening, you're seeing it happen. TurboTax gives you real time updates on your expert's progress while you go about your day. Run errands, grab a coffee, live your life. You're always in the loop and if a question pops up, you get unlimited expert help at no ext extra cost. Even on nights and weekends during tax season, taxes are finally transparent, easier and handled. Visit turbotax.com only available with TurboTax full service experts real time updates only in iOS mobile app.

[Kathy]

So let me ask you something. Did you learn anything about relationships? Going through all the bachelor stuff that you're using now that you. You actually learned something that you're doing something different with Monica this time so that it works?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Yeah. I mean, I think one of the things that you start to really pay attention to is your time. Because you have. You kind of put in your mind, like, you have endless time. You're with her. You could have another day with her tomorrow or next week, like, it doesn't matter. But actually, every moment with her, it. I'm not trying to sound like a sweetheart, but it just. It means so much to me. Right. Because that time that I'm with her, spending time, quality time, or anything that we're doing in those cases, it's like, it means so much to me. And also, like, the effort behind things means so much to me. So, like, if you're going into a relationship and, like, you're giving half ass or you're not showing your cards because you're scared and all that, like, that's the shit that's, like, never going to get you anywhere. So, like, coming in guns blazing, that's my type of love. Like, I'm trying to find my. My person. I want to get married. Her and I've dated before already. We don't need to go through it all again. Like, let's see, what. What are we going to do here? It's either we're going to be a marriage, married couple, or we're going to.

[Kathy]

Just feel like you want to propose at some point.

[Susan]

That's. I was going to ask. Are you planning engagement? Because you could do it right here on our podcast. You could let us know if that's happening. We. We wouldn't tell anyone.

[Kathy]

I could come to Chicago, obviously.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

You. You obviously would keep it to yourself, so. Of course you would. Right?

[Susan]

Yeah.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

You're gonna put this on this bachelor happy hour podcast and it's gonna stick with you guys. But, yeah, no, I. I absolutely do want to marry here. And I will propose.

[Kathy]

I'm so happy for you.

[Susan]

Yay. Wait, wait. Do we have a month? I. You know, I'm a writer by training.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Oh, yeah. Let me month out there so her friends can know her stand, like, what? Of course not.

[Susan]

Okay. I think it's going to happen in the first six months of this year. Susan, we could. We could take this one to the bank. And by the way, Hakeem, just remember, see, I'm Right. I told you, I'm right.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

And Susan, I'm not saying that's not bad. That's not. I'm thinking it's. It's nice out. And yeah, maybe.

[Susan]

I don't know. And Susan is a wedding officiant, so, you know, you could do one stop shopping here.

[Kathy]

Just come to Chicago.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Yeah. Conflict of interest, you feel me? Like, is that. I can't. I can't do that. That's what I couldn't.

[Kathy]

Why?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Why I couldn't do it. Having Susan.

[Dr. Jake Goodman]

Fine ass.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Go. Excuse my language. Excuse my language. Pardon me. And I'm like, yes, to marry Monica. And I'm like, damn. Because I tell Monica. I told Monica. I was like, let me tell you this right now. If Susan was on that beach.

[Tony Robbins]

She'Ll.

[Kathy]

Love me, too, babe. She'll love me, too.

[Susan]

Just to be clear, I came, I was on the beach, and so now I know where I stand.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

No, you, you. You're obviously, you know, Kathy, you're bad. Let's stop it.

[Susan]

Right? All right.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Level with, like, is this. This has been brewing for you.

[Susan]

It's been brewing.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

This has been. Since she was on Gary Season, you know what I mean? Right when she walked out the limb.

[Kathy]

I'm like, that's why I kept saying, I want to go to Paradise. Boy, we would have.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Susan]

Susan, Susan, the ship has sailed. Hakeem is taken. I want to know, other than this fabulous girl, what is. What else is going on in your life? What? You know what? Can you tease anything for 20, 26, what else you got? I know she's taking up a lot of your time, but other than this fabulous Monica, what else you got going on?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Yes, but I want to make sure it doesn't sound sus, because I was in between dating shows and she's my ex, so I just want to make sure everything's clear on my part. I can always clear things up. I don't want people.

[Susan]

It's as clear as mud. We got it.

[Kathy]

It's very clear.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

I didn't explain it. Good.

[Susan]

So, seriously, what else you got going on? You got anything you can teach? We want to.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Yeah. With regards to what I got going on, I'm getting into modeling, so I've been doing some modeling stuff. Me and my. You guys know Brandon Jones? It's like one of my best friends. He's from Michelle Season. Him and I are thinking about doing a Miami and also New York Fashion Week as well.

[Kathy]

Nice.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

So I'm getting my. Getting my comp. Card ready so I can show people about those things. Let me see. Let me see. I'm also looking forward to the next season 22 of the Bachelorette.

[Kathy]

Aren't you excited about her season? I mean, this is going to be good.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Oh, I'm so excited. It's gonna be. It's gonna be. It's gonna go. It's gonna go crazy. Not gonna be anything we've seen before. Let's put it that way.

[Susan]

I agree. I'm very excited about it.

[Kathy]

It.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

It's not going to be anything we've seen before because Taylor's really unpredictable and she's very just like.

[Susan]

Do you know her personally?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

She's an acquaintance. Like, I met her a few times. Like, I met her at the party, the Halloween party. I met her at the hotel. I forgot the hotel when we're doing the. When we went to that Hulu event.

[Kathy]

Yes.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

In LA in the summertime.

[Tony Robbins]

Yep.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

She was at the hotel filming and I ran into them. It was super tense. So like. Yeah, yeah. So I've had a couple, you know, a couple of run ins with her. She's cool peoples and everything, but she stands on business. Let me tell you, if anything happens on my season, happens on her season. She not going for that. Let me tell you that right now. She not going for that. She's not going for any type of liar. She's not going for any dummies.

[Kathy]

That would be me or you, Kathy. We wouldn't tolerate anything either.

[Susan]

But unfortunately, Susan, we haven't had the chance yet to prove it.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

What do you mean? Susan, you have. You were with Keith for a little bit, you know.

[Susan]

I was never with Keith.

[Kathy]

They were never together.

[Susan]

God.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Stop it. Stop it, Kathy. Stop it. You gave. You didn't give it a shot at all.

[Susan]

No, we're friends.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Damn, girl.

[Kathy]

Just friend zone.

[Susan]

Thank you. Fine. Thank you.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

So me and Susan got our people, right.

[Susan]

Yeah.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

If you were to choose any man in Bachelor nation, golden men, who would it be? You on the spot right now. I asked you. Not a one right now. Not a one date. Just go on it. Oh, please.

[Susan]

Do you think this is the first time I've been asked this question? I can tell you the guys I'm close with that I'm really good friends with. I love CK I love guy Keith. Those are probably the three guys I'm closest with.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

But we're friends, so you would never date. Go on a date with C. Kizzle.

[Susan]

Oh, I. I have to take a fifth on that one. CK is, you know, he's he's got a little something. Something going on. You know, I can't.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

He got swag.

[Kathy]

Well, now that you. Prior to knowing he was in a.

[Susan]

Relationship, I would have gone on a date.

[Kathy]

You would have gone on a date with him?

[Susan]

Yeah, I would have gone on.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Oh, so you might be in a relationship. Okay. Okay.

[Kathy]

There he is.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

If you were to. If you were to say any. You. So you know, all the golden men and any of the guys, in a sense, who would you go, like, let's say, let's take all the golden man. If you were to use any men in the bachelor world, right, who would be like, okay, like, I rock with him for a little bit?

[Susan]

No, I just. I. We're going to move on here, because I already answered. This is called asked and answered, as they say in a court of law.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Okay, all right, fair enough.

[Susan]

So before we let you go, Hakeem, because this is about finding about you. Well, we got more questions here.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Susan]

I want to know, now that you're newly taken and not as newly as we thought, now that you've clarified that you dated her for a couple of years before, what advice do you have to any single men out there who are struggling today?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

I think the first things first, this is. I'm actually gonna be real serious about, please. That. That alpha male that everyone puts in your head that you can't be very sweet to your girl, you can't express your feelings like that.

[Kathy]

Really get over it.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Like, honest. Excuse my language, ladies.

[Susan]

Let me just say we. We have some 10 year olds listen to this podcast. Let's see if we can have two sent bomb.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Just try it and say, okay, I apologize. So I'm just saying that, you know, there's always this, like, alpha male thing that you guys got to be like, super alpha. You gotta stand on business, you gotta make the girl, like, want to chase you, or you can't fall in love on the first time. Like, dude, just be yourself. And I know we go into reality TV and they're like, hey, be yourself, be yourself. But that is literally the vice that I would tell anybody.

[Susan]

That's why I'm single, Hakeem. I. I'm my. That's why I'm single, because I'm myself. So, you know, all right, I disagree.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

I know, I disagree. I disagree with you because just because you're yourself doesn't mean that's why you're single. I feel, in a sense, is a person for everyone out there. And I'm weird when I tell you I'm Weird, I'm loud, I'm annoying. I know all the negative qualities about myself, but I choose not to not do those things because they will eventually come out. Right?

[Susan]

Yeah.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

So, like, somebody's gonna tolerate it. Somebody's gonna see the pros outweigh the cons, and that's the way I look at it. So, guys, if you want to spoil your girl, but don't be weird, don't be a weirdo.

[Kathy]

I, like, just own it and enjoy it.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Says, like, have some emotional telling.

[Susan]

Wait, I have a question. I keep. I've heard, Susan, you have you. We talked about this. Somebody said that men are nervous about, like, making that overture, that they like a woman who comes up to them. Do you think that's true?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Say that one more time, Kathy.

[Kathy]

A woman that approaches a man.

[Susan]

A woman approaching a man as opposed to waiting for the man to approach her. Like, how's. What's your thought on that?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

That waiting for a woman to approach you?

[Kathy]

No. What do you think about women that would approach you first instead of.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, that's.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Yeah, I think you can absolutely do that. I think you can absolutely do that if you really want to go for something.

[Susan]

No, no, because they say some men are, like, timid. They. Instead of being the alpha male, like, really in real life, they're timid about doing it. So.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Yeah.

[Susan]

Is that true?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Oh.

[Tony Robbins]

Oh.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

I mean, I don't know about. With that. I mean, it's. It's hard being denied and declined by a girl, but at the end of the day, it's the. This is the part of our. What we got to do. We got to try to shoot our shots. So if in that nature, I feel like the priority a man has to approach the woman. You know what I mean? And there's some very strong women like you and. And Susan, per se. Right. That would maybe approach somebody, which is nothing wrong.

[Kathy]

It's uncomfortable to approach somebody that. Because of the world.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

I wouldn't disagree with you.

[Susan]

Yeah.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

And I think at the end of the day, I feel like we men have something to prove to the woman. I don't think the woman has something to prove to us. You know what I'm saying? So, like, that is my opinion with, like, the whole approaching and so forth, because men nowadays, like, I know I'm a good person and everything, but as a whole, men ain't we. And you know that you as women know that men as a whole. As a whole category, they'd be lost without a woman. Facts. No, you're not wrong at all. We would be absolutely lost without a woman. But I think the problem is there's a standard of what men are supposed to be like. And that's the. That is in, like, put into us. We want to be super, super alpha. We want to be the top dog. We want to make her love me and make her wanna chase me and all that. Dude.

[Kathy]

Like, is it that or is it they want to impress their friends and look, watch me roll, guys. This is how you do it. No, just be real.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Absolutely. I mean, let me tell you that in my 20s, my younger 20s, like, I would try to pretend like I was a guy who would have, like, different girls that would be talking to first. Let me tell you this, girls. I am not a guy who gets a lot of girls at once. You know what I mean? So, like, I don't. I don't necessarily. Am I the guy that's like, oh, I pull so many girls and all that. And all that in the third. And if a guy says that, they don't pull.

[Dr. Jake Goodman]

Yeah.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Let me tell you, they move in silence.

[TurboTax Advertiser]

Who?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Guys who get girls, they. They zip their mouth. But anyhow, in the hole. And this, that and the third. Her. Let's go back to the going to the. To the. To. The advice I would give a man is truly just show up for the girl, make her feel safe. Don't ever, ever, ever ask. Not ask. Are you okay with it? If you feel like you're asking if you're okay with it, that's the right thing to do with it. You know what I mean? Are you okay with it? How do you feel? Ask those questions to make her feel like, okay, he actually cares about me, not just trying to, you know, hook up.

[Susan]

All right, I like that.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Good advice.

[Susan]

Yeah. All right, good. Get the next question. Susan, give me another one.

[Kathy]

First of all, I'm in shock.

[Susan]

All right?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

What are you in shock about?

[Kathy]

I wanna. We gotta go back for just a second. You're dating three women at one time. Did the women know you're dating other women?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

So you don't know the. So back when in my early 20s. This is not me.

[Kathy]

No, I know.

[Dr. Jake Goodman]

Not now.

[Kathy]

I'm just trying to get.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

If you're dating multiple girls. Right. Not saying that you should or you shouldn't. Right. Everyone has the audacity to do whatever they want in those situations. You're getting to a certain level, then, like, okay, now we're gonna have to kind of pick and choose.

[Susan]

I see nothing wrong with this person. I don't see it.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

You gotta have to kind of like you go on a first date with them, you kind of get a familiarity like is this a good person and this not. Then you kind of move to the next step, go to the second day, you get to know them a little bit more and then you're like, okay, this might be a deal breaker, let's talk and see what they think about it. And you kind of get that with all them. In a sense, they kind of figure out if this person could be your.

[Susan]

Narrow the playing field.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Yes, exactly. Essentially though, it's to. It's you. You use this as a way to kind of narrow yourself down. And I think people tend to put their eggs in all in one basket and they get turned down and then they're like, like, nobody likes me, nobody loves me. There's so many people that love you and want you. Right? Just be great. Simple, be great and get to know people.

[Dr. Jake Goodman]

Ever been at a pharmacy counter and the pharmacist asks, do you have any questions? And suddenly your mind goes blank? That's exactly why you need to listen to beyond the script from CVS Pharmacy and iHeartMedia. Hosted by Dr. Jake Goodman, this podcast brings you real conversations with CVS pharmacists, the health experts you see most answering the questions you wish you'd asked, like which medications might not mix well, what vaccines you should consider before a big trip. And even those questions you are too embarrassed to say out loud. Each episode busts myths, decodes health trends and gives you practical, trustworthy advice straight from the people behind the counter. No white coats, no lectures. Just real talk, real answers and maybe a few laughs. Listen to beyond the script on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You know that cycle, the spike, the crash, the craving, vapes, pouches. They keep you hooked and honestly, it's exhausting. Plus, you're inhaling, chemicals are irritating your gums. Quitting isn't just about saying no to cravings. It's about building better habits. That's where Jones comes in. Jones is a science backed alternative. No smoke, no vapor, no hidden chemicals. Just a discreet mint that helps you ride out those 60 second cravings without stepping outside or disappearing from the moment. And when the urge hits hard, their free app connects you with over 10,000 people on the same path. Plus fun tools like QUITTL to keep you motivated. Digital support can boost quit rates by 40%. And when you add Jones mints, it's even higher. Here's how to take the quick Jones quiz to find your ideal mint strength. Pop a mint when cravings hit and track your progress in the app. Simple, smart, Supportive. If you're ready to take a step toward quitting or even just a safer nicotine option, check out Quit with Jones. Visit quitwithjones.com happyhour to take the free quiz and use Code Happy hour to get $10 off your personalized quitting journey. That's quitwithjones.com happy hour taking back control starts now. Thanks to Quit With Jones for sponsoring this episode. Just a heads up, the mitts contain nicotine, which is an addictive chemical. Jones is FDA approved and available for those that are 18 and older.

[Podcast Announcer]

From Warner Bros. Pictures and award winning filmmaker Emerald Fennell comes Wuthering Heights, starring Margot Robbie opposite Jacob Elordi. In this bold reimagining of Emily Bronte's classic novel of the same name, Fennell takes audiences on a yearning and emotionally charged journey following star crossed lovers Kathy, played by Robbie, and Heathcliff, played by Elordi, as their forbidden love for one another turns from romantic to intoxicating in an epic tale of lust, love and madness. Heathcliff's plea says it be with me always. Take any form. Drive me mad. Go see this visually intoxicating It Girl cultural phenomenon of the season. Wuthering Heights Come Undone Only in theaters February 13th. Experience it in IMAX. Be sure to check out Charlie X X's new album Wuthering Heights, featuring new music from the Wuthering Heights movie. Rated R. Under 17 not admitted without a parent.

[Tara Davis Woodhull]

Did you know that 80% of your immune system is housed in your gut? I never knew that, but it makes sense because it's tough to feel your best when your gut feels out of balance. Now there's a convenient, on the go way to support your gut health with a gentle daily detox to help your body feel light and balanced. It's called Chlorophyll Stick Packs from Nature's Sunshine. They're easy to mix and a simple way to incorporate a daily detox to feel lighter, more energized and more regular. I hate when you mix things into water and you can taste the powder, but chlorophyll stick packs mix super smooth and the flavors are great too. Plus the taste isn't overly sweet, which is so important to me. Nature Sunshine Chlorophyll Stick packs freshen from the inside out. They naturally neutralize odors and support your body. They also help your body eliminate toxins while supporting gut balance and providing antioxidant support by helping fight free radicals and promoting cellular health. Get a daily detox with chlorophyll stick packs. Nature Sunshine is offering 20 off of your first order, plus free shipping. Go to naturesunshine.com and use Happy hour at checkout. And that's code Happy [e-mail] Doing taxes.

[TurboTax Advertiser]

The old way meant handing everything off and just hoping things were moving. But now you can feel confident your taxes are being handled right with Intuit TurboTax. Now you match with a TurboTax full service expert. Just upload your documents right in the app and boom, they take it from there, start to finish. You've got a dedicated expert working your return. They check every deduction and credit to help you get the best possible outcome. So you can feel confident you're getting every dollar you deserve. And now you're not guessing what's happening. You're seeing it happen. TurboTax gives you real time updates on your experts progress while you go about your day. Run errands, grab a coffee, live your life. You're always in the loop. And if a question pops up, you get unlimited expert help at no extra cost, even on nights and weekends. During tax season, taxes are finally transparent, easier and handled. Visit turbotax.com only available with TurboTax full service experts real time updates only in iOS mobile app.

[Susan]

So this next question may be tougher for you, Hakeem, because Susan and I recently did an episode where we talked about why dating is so hard right now for so many people. What's your perspective on that? I mean, clearly you have no problem. But a lot of people talk about the.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

I clearly don't have any problem. I'm spinning the block. What do you mean? I'm clearly having issues. Like, it's not. It's, it's. It's truthfully. It's truthfully, because we have too many options. We see Instagram like, you see. I see Susan, for instance. Susan's a baddie, right? So I look at him like, damn. Like, damn. Like, is this. Am I doing the right thing? Like, is this always going to be like this if I'm with the person or in a sense. So you look and you see other people and you think there's, you know, better people out there.

[Kathy]

The grass is greener. Yeah.

[Susan]

Oh, but I don't think I. That's not the question I'm asking. I think so.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Why is dating so hard?

[Susan]

Yeah. But do you not you specifically young people. And we get a lot of questions on this podcast where they say it's so hard to find a date. It's so hard to put yourself out there. That's what I'm trying. So clearly you don't have that issue, But a lot. What is your perspective? Why do you think so many people have trouble getting that first date or getting around to meeting?

[Kathy]

I don't think young people have trouble at all.

[Susan]

Are you kidding?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

I disagree with you, too. Respectfully. The most respectful. I don't. I disagree with you. I think. I think people, in a sense.

[Susan]

Well, define young.

[Dr. Jake Goodman]

Huh?

[Susan]

Define young.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

I would say, like 25 and younger.

[Susan]

Oh, no, I was really talking about. A lot of our questions are. I would say 25 and above. And a lot of these people say they have trouble. They don't want to go to bars. They're sick of the. The. The dating sites, dating apps, you know, and they're like, where do you date? How do I get a date? But like I said, you, you, you. This is clearly foreign territory to our game.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

I mean, you just shoot your shot. I mean, when you're at a grocery store, you see a beautiful girl. Why don't you. You can just shoot your shot anywhere. I mean, my. I've met a girl before at a library before, like you. If you see somebody that you think is worth it and you want to talk to them, then it's.

[TurboTax Advertiser]

You just.

[Kathy]

Well, for a man, I think it's easier.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

But for a woman, I don't think a woman should have to approach a man. I think a man should approach the woman. Well, in my.

[Susan]

So what do you say. What do you say to those people if.

[Kathy]

If women not getting approached?

[Susan]

They're not getting approached. What do you say to them?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

What women are not getting.

[Susan]

What should they be doing?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

What they should be doing is just focusing clearly only on themselves, because the right person is going to come to you. You're not going to be chasing. You put the power in our hands. You're. You're already screwed. I'm telling you.

[Susan]

Wait a minute. Wait a second.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Wait a second.

[Susan]

That made no sense. You said she should focus on her because the right one's coming, and then don't focus on us because we're screwed. So how is the.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

No, no, no, no, no, no. If you focus on us and you chase us, you put us in the driver's seat. So men is in the driver's seat. So meaning, like, you have play hard to get.

[Susan]

Susan, he's telling us to play hard to get. That's what he's telling us.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

No, I'm not telling you to play hard to get. I'm telling you at that time, like you would. Approaching a man is. Okay. Personally, you can if you would like. But I'm saying, ultimately speaking, I think it's up to us men that should make that first move so a woman doesn't have to.

[Kathy]

Yes, I agree with you. I agree with you. But I think eye contact would let somebody know that you're on the same page. You know what I mean? If there's a chemistry happening from across the room, you look at each other, okay, Then make your move.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

You make choosing signals like you just give them an eye. Yeah, you look at him. That's the clear sign that a woman's like, okay, she sees you. Or if you hear a laughter and she's looking dread at you when there's laughter all the time. She's clearly interested in games.

[Kathy]

Yeah, clearly.

[Susan]

We're talking games, Susan. Games. Play games.

[Kathy]

That's a game.

[Susan]

Give the little coquettish smile a little look.

[Kathy]

I just crack up.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Wait, what? How are we playing games? That's not games.

[Kathy]

No, I don't think so, but. So the thing is, you have to be out. You can't stay home all the time and wait for Mr. Right to come knock on the door or Ms. Right.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

For sure.

[Kathy]

You gotta get out in the world.

[Susan]

I just spent five days in Palm Springs and La Quinta where there are more men over the age of 60 than letters in the. I was gonna say letters in the Alphabet. I mean, more than sand on the beach.

[Kathy]

And.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Okay.

[Susan]

I mean, they just, you know, just straight up. I don't know. I got. They're out there somewhere. I don't know what they were doing, but. All right, I'm. I'm. I'm. I think that the advice is let the men come to you. Is this what I'm hearing?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

And I think you should date younger, too, because you're the guys. This is 16 above. Can't keep up with you. Get you a younger. Get you a younger man.

[Kathy]

But the problem is, if you are of a certain age and perhaps you're using Hinge or. Or whatever, a dating site, and you put your real age down, then you don't get connected. They don't want it. All they see is a number. When you meet somebody. I surprise people, as Kathy does when find out how old I. No, you're not. I go, yeah, tell me more. Tell me more.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Yeah, no, for sure. But you could put an age range in there, and if.

[Kathy]

Of what you're looking for, but not yourself. Your own age. That's what I'm saying.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

I see what you're saying.

[Susan]

Because the men. What we're saying is the men, if.

[Kathy]

They see in their search, we're not in that number.

[Susan]

We're not in that age range, so they just. Or they see us and they go, cute as she's too old. Swipe on by.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Some of them will, but not all of them. Yeah, well, just like some girls gonna swipe yes on me, and they gonna swipe no on me, too.

[Kathy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

It's the same thing for everybody.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Susan]

It's just.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Am I. Am I wrong? Am I right?

[Kathy]

No, you're right. Listen, you're absolutely right.

[Susan]

In fact, I'm ready.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

I'm ready to look at you playing games. She's playing games, Susan. Little with your little game.

[Kathy]

But I like what you said about men need to hear right now. Be real. Right?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Yeah.

[Kathy]

Be authentic.

[Susan]

I. I heard him say let. There. You didn't say in these words, but let your feminine side show. You know, you don't have to be a hard ass to hold yourself. Yeah.

[Kathy]

Be yourself. Be authentic.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Be yourself.

[Kathy]

What you see is what you get.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Yeah.

[Kathy]

No surprises. We don't want to see red flags in 15 minutes. Fifteen dates later, there's a red flag.

[Susan]

Well, wait, I want to know. Do you have any questions for us, Hakeem? I mean, you, you know.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Yeah, I mean, absolutely. I'm trying to get in here, and I want to hear about your love lives, too. Susan, you're still. Is everything going well with you and your.

[Kathy]

It's going. It's going.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

What's that for me?

[Tony Robbins]

It's going.

[Kathy]

It's. There's been good and bad, but as all relationships, right? Yes. The distance is big.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Oh, it's a distance. Where is he located? If you Want me?

[Kathy]

In St Martin on the most beautiful island.

[Susan]

He speaks French. He is French. He lives in St. Martin on the French side.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Okay, so who's gonna make the play? He's gonna have to come through.

[Susan]

Yeah. Wow.

[TurboTax Advertiser]

What?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

He's. What he. What's he thinking?

[Kathy]

He doesn't come here in the winter. Of course.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

I feel that, though.

[Tony Robbins]

Yeah.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Yeah, I feel that, though. But we can use this house as the. The winter house.

[Kathy]

Yes.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Summer house is your place?

[Kathy]

Yeah, I go down in a couple weeks, actually. Second time for this winner.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Hey, Daphne, what's going on with your love life?

[Susan]

Nothing.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Because you're obviously playing games, too, because you're over here saying, like, you want them to approach us.

[Susan]

I got nothing. I got.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

So what's going on?

[Susan]

I got Nothing. I, I nothing. I smile, I chit chat, but you know, I have nothing.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

So you're not texting nobody, talking to anybody, nobody you found interested in. You're not, you don't think anybody in your realm since I've saw you and talked to you. You have not.

[Kathy]

But she's not on the dating sites though, so who would she.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

I know, but she.

[Tony Robbins]

Outside.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Tell me you're not outside.

[Susan]

I'm outside all the time. I died. I was, I, I'm in bars, I'm in restaurants, but you know, they're just not, they're just not biting.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

You're just not biting. So what exactly you looking for? Let's, let's see that. Let's start there because I think above ground, above, oh my God.

[Susan]

Can move, you know.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Okay. Personality.

[Susan]

I don't want to use the guy. I want a guy, a used guy, you know, guy that doesn't do anything. I very active. I want a guy who used. I used to play tennis, I used to kayak, I used to ski. Now I sit on the sofa with a bear and a ball hat cap on backwards and show you pictures of my dead fish. I, that's the guy I don't want. But yeah, I'm good. If it's, if it's going to happen for me, it's going to happen. And if it isn't, it isn't because I am grateful. I have a good life.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

So. You, you absolutely do. And you're gorgeous too, by the way.

[Susan]

Thank you.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Just make sure if you didn't know that. But the thing is, is that you have a youthful energy. So you, I think you have 60 and above. You need to go 60 and below, girl. That's what I'm saying. Like you laughing. You see me and Susan, we dead serious. We're trying to.

[Susan]

Yeah, I see you and Susan. You, you got your girl in Chicago and she's got her guy in St. Martin.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

No, we're not talking about that. We like you see us like in a sense we're trying to tell you you need to get on the younger side. What I'm saying. So like.

[Kathy]

But Kathy always says, Kathy always said they want younger women. Again, the number, it's just a number. You're younger than most 60 year olds that I know.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Some of them do and some of them don't. That's what I'm trying to tell you. I take me home a golden. If I didn't have a girlfriend, I'll get and get to know me. A golden.

[Susan]

That's just Me? Yeah.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

But you got to get to find. You understand that. And really, really understand that. You. There's people out there that do rock.

[Susan]

With it, and I want to meet them organically. I'm not going to meet him on a dating site.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

No, you don't got to meet them in a dating site. It's very over stimulating, too.

[Kathy]

Yeah, it's pain in the ass. It's like a job.

[Susan]

It's a job.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Like a job.

[Susan]

But we. But, Hakeem, we are so happy that you are happy.

[Kathy]

I am thrilled for you.

[Susan]

Yeah, we are very happy for you. We want. We want to meet her back. We want to meet her. We want to see the ring. I think you should get engaged on our podcast.

[Kathy]

No, I had a good jeweler friend.

[Susan]

No one's ever done that.

[Kathy]

That is good jeweler friends.

[Susan]

Okay, so do I. Yeah, I got jeweler friends, too. We got them. We got them in St. Martin. We got them local.

[Kathy]

We can help.

[Susan]

Yeah. Lab Diamonds. We got real diamonds. We're multi. Multifaceted over here.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Okay. You want to talk to Neil Lane?

[Susan]

Yeah. Well, you know, free is always the best way to travel.

[Kathy]

In first place.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

So it's not going to work out for me, probably.

[Kathy]

Oh, well, you know what? That does it for today's episode. I can't believe it. Thank you so much for our lovely Hakeem. You know we love you. We always will. And you're never getting rid of us.

[Susan]

You're never getting rid of us. And I will tell you, Hakeem, as much fun as I had on paradise, and I did, I was really sad that you were gone when I got there. I think you left right before I got there before the girl.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Yeah, I know. I was sad. Truthfully, I was sad, er, because I really wanted to see you guys. And honestly, I was just like, come on, I just want one more days. Hopefully Susan. Pop.

[Susan]

Susan was not there. Susan didn't.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

At all. At all.

[Susan]

She has a boyfriend.

[Tony Robbins]

At all.

[Susan]

She has a boyfriend.

[Kathy]

You can't give you a rose. Regardless. A. I heard you were coming. I was like, yes. Kathy's like, Susan.

[Susan]

Yeah. Just, just. There's just a little rule on Bachelor, you know, if you're dating someone, you cannot go to paradise to yet meet someone else.

[Kathy]

I had to be.

[Susan]

So she was. She's dating somebody.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Tony Robbins]

That's okay.

[Susan]

I would have given you a rose, though, Hakim. I would have given you a rose and said, Susan asked me to send this to you. I mean, I, you know, I would have taken one for the Team.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

No, no, you got. It'll take it one for y'. All. Making it seem like it's a job to do to give me a. Hold on now.

[Bowen Yang]

No.

[Susan]

Good job.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

I'm one of you playing with me.

[Kathy]

We had chemistry the first time we met. Absolutely.

[Susan]

You know what? Speaking of chemistry, I need to go make a drink.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

I'm dead.

[TurboTax Advertiser]

Really?

[Hakeem Hayakim]

Wait, last question. Do you guys still talk to April? How's she doing? Because I, I, I have not spoken to her.

[Susan]

She moved to New York. That's all.

[Kathy]

She went to New York? Yeah.

[Susan]

She moved to New York.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

I told Jonathan he should have went to her room. He should have.

[Kathy]

I think he was scared.

[Hakeem Hayakim]

He should have did it.

[Susan]

Yeah, well, we're going to leave you on that one. We are just going to leave it there. Thank you to all of our listeners. We're so glad you joined in today to hear all of Hakeem's exciting news. Please be sure to keep sending us your questions, your comments. We'll be sure to let you know when that engagement day happens with Hakeem and send us your questions. Just go to bachelournation.com golden hour and send us all your questions and comments.

[Kathy]

Yeah, absolutely. We will definitely be there, Hakeem, when you say the big magic words. And please listen to Bachelor Happy Hours golden hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your podcast. Until next time, take care.

[Bowen Yang]

This is Bowen Yang from Lost Culture Resource with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. We all know the feeling when life gets really busy. Taking care of yourself can feel impossible. That's why Premier protein shakes are my go to. They have 30 grams of prote, 160 calories, no added sugar, and they taste amazing. So they're a healthy choice you'll actually want to make. It's not just for fitness. It's for getting after life. The 30 grams of protein gives you the fuel you need. It's not just for intense gym sessions. It's just for life. With the wide variety of flavors, from cafe latte to cake batter, it never feels boring. It's a flavor for everyone. I personally love the peaches and cream, but maybe you're a root beer floater, cinnamon roll kind of person. Premier Protein power to say yes to more. Find your favorite [e-mail] that's P R E M I E R protein dot com. Or at Amazon, Walmart and other major retailers.

[TurboTax Advertiser]

If you're a maintenance supervisor for a commercial property, you've had to deal with everything from leaky faucets to flickering light bulbs. But nothing's worse than that ancient boiler that's lived in the building since the day it was built 50 years ago. It's enough to make make anyone lose their cool. That's where Grainger comes in. With industrial grade products and dependable, fast delivery, Grainger can help with any challenge, from worn out components to everyday necessities. Call click granger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[Tony Robbins]

Hey everybody, it's Tony Robbins. Look, the time is here. It's 2026 and everybody talks about having a new year and a new life. But what do most people do? They create a few resolutions and in the end they don't really do anything. If you want this to be the best year you've ever had in your life, it's going to take a new tool, a new strategy, a new momentum, and maybe a new community of people to hang out with. So come join me for the Time to Rise Summit. I do it only once a year. It's coming up January 29th through the 31st. There's absolutely no charge for it, but it'll be an experience I promise you. You will not forget. It'll give you momentum, a plan and a strategy to make 2020 something six the best ever. If you're up for that and you're hungry for more, come join me. There's no cost for it whatsoever. Just go to time to riseummit.com time to riseummit.com I'll see you then.

[TurboTax Advertiser]

The new year brings new health goals and wealth goals. Protecting your identity is an important step. Your info is in endless places that could expose you to identity theft, leading to lost funds. LifeLock monitors millions of data points per second. If your identity is stolen, Lifelock's restoration specialist will fix it, guaranteed, or your money back. Resolve to make identity, health and wealth part of your New year's goals with LifeLock. Save up to 40% your first year. Visit LifeLock.com iHeart Terms apply at CVS.

[Podcast Announcer]

It matters that we're not just in your community, but that we're part of it. It matters that we're here for you when you need us, day or night. And we want everyone to feel welcomed and rewarded. It matters that CVS is here to fill your prescriptions and here to fill your craving for a tasty and, yeah, healthy snack. At cvs, we're proud to serve your community because we believe where you get your medicine matters. So Visit [e-mail] or just come by our store. We can't wait to meet you. Store hours vary by location. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.