Bachelor Happy Hour: Golden Hour
Episode: “Hakeem Is in Love!”
Date: January 29, 2026
Hosts: Kathy & Susan
Guest: Hakeem Hayakim (Bachelor in Paradise, Season 10)
Episode Overview
This Golden Hour installment of Bachelor Happy Hour welcomes back fan favorite Hakeem Hayakim. The conversation centers around Hakeem’s rekindled romance with Monica — his ex-girlfriend from before his Bachelor Nation fame. Together with hosts Kathy and Susan, Hakeem shares candid details about their reconnection, the challenges they faced concerning racism within her family, and how his Bachelor journey shaped his outlook on love. The episode delivers raw honesty, practical dating advice, and a glimpse behind the scenes of post-Paradise relationships.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Hakeem’s Relationship Journey with Monica
(03:14—13:39)
- Background: Hakeem and Monica first dated from 2021–2023 after meeting on Hinge. Their initial breakup was due to troubling racist behavior from members of Monica’s family.
- "[Monica is] absolutely anti-racist… she basically told me, like, 'I don't want anything to do with my family, because if I do have kids with you, my kids are going to be Black. They need to do intense therapy and take accountability.'" — Hakeem (06:20)
- Reconnection: After some time apart — and in a surprising twist — it was a hostile family group chat (meant to drive them apart) that brought them back together.
- “Her brother put us in a chat… that’s how we started talking again. It was the complete opposite of what he thought.” — Hakeem (05:17)
- Second Chances: Monica made the first move, offering to help Hakeem with his social media. Their renewed interaction started out as “strictly business” before romance slowly reignited.
- "It was strictly business at the beginning. I respected that from her… it was a slow process." — Hakeem (07:11)
- Living Situation: Currently, the couple is working on moving in together in Chicago, a decision that felt mutual and natural.
- "We're actually in that process right now." — Hakeem (08:53)
- Monica’s profession: She’s an instructional designer specializing in contractor manuals. (10:18)
Love, Growth, and Lessons from Bachelor Nation
(19:29—21:36)
- Priorities Changed: Hakeem says his time on The Bachelor and Paradise made him value time and effort more profoundly.
- “Every moment with her… means so much to me… If you’re giving half-ass, or you’re not showing your cards, that’s the shit that’s never going to get you anywhere.” — Hakeem (19:45)
- No More Games: He no longer “wastes time” in relationships; he’s ready for marriage and is already thinking well ahead with Monica.
- “Her and I've dated before already. We don’t need to go through it all again. What are we going to do here? Either we're going to be a married couple or…” — Hakeem (20:22)
- Proposal Plans: Hakeem confidently confirms he plans to marry Monica — though he jokes about not revealing the exact timing on the podcast.
- “I absolutely do want to marry her. And I will propose.” — Hakeem (20:57)
Dealing with Racism and Family Conflicts
(04:43—13:39)
- Family Estrangement: Monica currently does not speak to much of her family due to their racist attitudes, although she maintains ties with a cousin who is supportive.
- “She doesn’t talk with her family… her cousin is supportive, especially since her partner is Black too.” — Hakeem (13:05)
- Stance on Family: Despite the pain, Hakeem encourages Monica to keep a relationship with her family if she wishes, but only if there’s accountability and change.
Navigating Modern Dating — Advice from Hakeem
(27:00—32:34; 38:35—44:00)
- Be Vulnerable: Hakeem urges men to break away from toxic alpha stereotypes, and not be afraid to show real emotions.
- “That alpha male that everyone puts in your head — you can’t be very sweet to your girl, you can’t express your feelings — really, get over it… just be yourself.” — Hakeem (27:00)
- Dating Etiquette: He advocates honest communication, emotional intelligence, and not playing games.
- “Show up for the girl, make her feel safe… ask questions to make her feel like you actually care.” — Hakeem (31:01)
- Women Making the First Move: Hakeem is open to women approaching men but believes guys should initiate — women can signal interest (“choosing signals”) via eye contact and smiles.
- “We men have something to prove to the woman. I don’t think the woman has something to prove to us.” — Hakeem (29:38)
- Navigating Dating Apps & Age Range: Honest discussion about age ranges on apps and finding organic connections. Hakeem encourages Kathy and Susan to date younger if that's where the chemistry is.
- “Get you a younger man… some men want younger women, but not all. Just be authentic and see who responds.” — Hakeem (43:17)
- On Multi-Dating: Hakeem explains that dating around is normal for finding compatibility, as long as it’s within ethical and honest boundaries. (32:00)
Behind-the-Scenes: Life Post-Paradise
(23:17—24:46)
- New Ventures: Hakeem is diving into modeling, preparing for Miami and New York Fashion Weeks, and is excited for the next season of The Bachelorette.
- Bachelor Nation Relationships: Playful banter about matchmaking within the franchise, including Susan and Kathy’s own love lives and the logistics of long-distance romance.
- “We want to meet [Monica]! We want to see the ring. I think you should get engaged on our podcast!” — Susan (48:45)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On Rekindled Romance:
“What’s mine is mine. You know, I gotta let everybody know.”
— Hakeem (04:04) -
On Family and Racism:
“I love her for who she is. Like, I would want her to have that family dynamic, because family is huge to me.”
— Hakeem (05:25) -
On Authenticity in Dating:
“Dude, just be yourself… that is literally the advice I would tell anybody.”
— Hakeem (27:33) -
On Showing Up:
“Show up for the girl, make her feel safe. Don't ever, ever, ever not ask, ‘Are you okay with it?’ If you feel like you’re asking, that’s the right thing to do.”
— Hakeem (31:01) -
Host Susan, on dating:
“I already answered. This is called ‘asked and answered,’ as they say in court.”
— Susan (26:24) -
On Dating Apps & Age:
“You're younger than most 60-year-olds that I know.”
— Kathy (47:57)
Timestamps for Important Segments
- 03:14 – Hakeem joins; intro to his love story
- 04:43 – The family incident and their initial breakup
- 05:56 – How Monica made the first move to reconnect
- 08:46 – Living situation and plans for the future
- 13:01 – Monica’s relationship with her family now
- 19:45 – Lessons learned from The Bachelor experience
- 20:57 – Hakeem confirms engagement is in his plans
- 23:17 – Hakeem’s career update and upcoming ventures
- 27:00 – Advice for single men; authenticity over “alpha male”
- 29:38 – Men making the first move; views on approaching
- 32:00 – Dating multiple people to find compatibility
- 38:35 – Why dating is hard today
- 43:17 – Discussion about dating apps and age range
- 47:30 – Susan on her dating preferences
- 48:45 – Hosts encourage podcast engagement
- 50:56 – Bachelor Nation check-in: April’s update
Tone & Takeaways
The conversation is warm, candid, and often playful — with Hakeem’s directness providing the episode’s emotional honesty. The hosts keep things light with supportive banter, but serious issues like racism in relationships and real dating struggles are addressed without sugar-coating. Listeners come away with both inspiring affirmations (“be yourself,” “show up for your partner”) and actionable advice for navigating love in the post-Bachelor world.