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Hakeem & Monica Part 2: Getting Real About Parenting and Answering Your Questions | Golden Hour
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- [00:00]
A
Foreign.
- [00:08]
B
Welcome back to Golden Hour, everyone. We are back with Part two with Hakeem and Monica. So let's just get right into it. Now we have to get down to business because, you know, this is not just about hearing about your fabulous love life and baby. Although it really is. We have some fan questions, you know, listeners write in, and we like to answer them and give our expert golden advice. And so we want to couple that with your fabulous young in love advice. Okay. Are you in?
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C
Yeah. Can I ask you a quick question before you guys.
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B
You certainly may.
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A
Yeah.
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C
If you guys could go.
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B
I am not pregnant. No.
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C
Oh, my God. No. I mean, if you could go back in time and you would say it was crucial for my. My partner to help me out while I was pregnant, what was that?
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B
Oh, I think I'm gonna.
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A
Hakeem, you're already so perfect, I can't even tell you. The fact that you're asking that is, like, the sweetest thing in the world. Kathy, what do you think? I feel like foot rubs are a definite.
- [01:12]
B
I think you're already doing it, Hakeem. Honestly, listening to your partner, showing her that you love her, she's going to feel big and fat and all that stuff as time goes on. You know what? Just telling her how much you love her and how excited you are to be together, it's all she needs is that love and affirmation that all the rest. All the rest foot rubs. Those are great. She'll love that, too. But you just. Just building and keeping the love between you two, that's the best advice I can give you.
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A
Yep.
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C
Well, appreciate that. Joan, would you say second that, too?
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A
I second that. You know, I feel like pregnancy for me was, like, super joyous. I just loved every bit of it. I loved having this little baby grown inside of me. I felt like the hardest time was, like, the first month after the baby is born. You have all this joy. You also have all these crazy hormones. You're not feeling great. You have a lot of pressure. You don't know how to be a. How to be a dad, I think that's when maybe the most tension occurred. So, like, to be knowledgeable, like, to know that and to be really patient with each other and respect, like, all these crazy things that are going to your head and how inadequate you feel. I remember they handed me this baby, and they're like, take him home. And I was like, he could die. I don't know how to take care of. And I was like, looking at my husband, I'm like, I Can't believe they're letting us take him.
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B
It's like, this is ours. It's like we wanted in the lottery. Monica, Maya, my advice that you're not asking for is once the baby is born, once. Once Marlee Marie arrives, don't worry about cooking or cleaning. You can do that the rest of your life. Spend time with her. Sleep as much as you can. All those things. Do not worry. Hopefully I'll be flying out to take care of the baby and help you out. But really sleep when you can and just take it slow. Slow. Because these. It's some of the most joyous times. It makes me cry like there's nothing.
- [03:03]
A
And for, like, the whole future, like, I'm. Now I'm gonna, like, go 10 years down the road. Make sure that your couple relationship stays intact, because you. You tend to become parents and no longer a couple. Make sure you have date nights. My husband and I had a Saturday night date night, like, for our entire life. I always had a babysitter. I always had a date night on Saturday night. It gives you a chance to reconnect. And so, like, for, you know, being parents is great, but it can't be your only relationship, because then, like, they all grow up, and then.
- [03:33]
B
And then you look at each other and you go, who are you? And the dates don't have to be expensive. You know, my husband and I, one of our favorite things to do on our date nights were to go to a local bookstore that had, like, a wine bar, and we'd go and just shop for books and have a glass of wine. I mean, literally, it doesn't have to be a fancy. It can be a walk. It can be anything but. Yeah, Joan's right. So spend time together. You'll be better parents.
- [03:58]
A
Be a couple instead of parents.
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D
Yeah, we've talked about that, but that's great advice.
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B
All right, well, now we're getting into advice. It's a perfect segue.
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D
Perfect.
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A
And I have a really good one for you guys. Okay, so I don't know who this is from. Oh, it's from Anonymous. Okay. It said, hey, we just found out we're having a girl. And I was over the moon, but my husband was visibly disappointed. He made a few. I guess I'll try again for a boy jokes that didn't sit right with me. How do I address this?
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C
Who do you want me to. Who do you want to go first? I think we have two different answers.
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A
Let's hear them.
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C
I'm gonna say, for that whole situation, I mean, having A boy. I don't know why men want to have boys so much, because more joy to have a daughter. That daughter father relationship is like, you can never. You can never separate that. Right. So, like, when I see, like, girls with their dads, it's like a different type of, like, relationship. But I also just to say, like, you want just a healthy baby. That's the most important thing. You just want a healthy baby. So girl, boy, doesn't matter. Like, you have a healthy child, you're able to have a child together. So what do you think?
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D
Yeah, I was gonna say, like, be thankful that you're having just a healthy baby.
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C
Yeah.
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D
But I can understand just that, like, as a man, like, having that son or as a woman having that daughter and just having that kind of mini me. So I can see where his disappointment may be if he was really hoping for a son. But give him, you know, like, let him settle in the.
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A
Yeah, he'll settle in.
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D
He'll settle in. And then, you know, just be like, you can have another kid. And if you don't have another boy, like, it is what it is. You're thankful to have to have kids. Like, not everyone can do it. So just to have a healthy baby is a blessing.
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C
And also to piggyback off of that is we usually want boys to live out the dreams that we never got to live out. So we try to make sure that they can be. For instance, I want my kid to go to the Olympics. Right. Because I didn't get to go to Olympics. Like, I want my child to run for Jamaica. But, like, what if they don't want to do that? So, like, you have a boy. What if they don't want to do anything that you have planned for them? Then what? You know what I mean?
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A
So, like, will definitely happen.
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B
That will say, Hakeem, your kids will have their own plans.
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D
Yeah.
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B
They will have their own identity.
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A
And I feel like you're so right about that.
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C
I think that's what men. We always want boys, because we're like, oh, we're going to make them the best athlete in the world. We're going to do all of this. What if they want to just play the.
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D
The.
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C
The trumpet? Yeah. Want to play the trumpet. Like, what are you going to do then? Like, you're going to say you can't play the trumpet and you're going to play sports.
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B
Like, my. My husband, I mean, he grew up in a very rural thing, so his high school had, like, no, you know, how many. 20 people, whatever. Yeah, he was the star basketball player and the star baseball player. He was. He was quite a good athlete. And the Navy, you know, he was a good athlete. And when we had our first son, he did exactly what you're saying. He put my son into every, you know, Little League and soccer. My son was 5 years old, and we're going to a soccer game and every, you know, it's herdball, right? Little kids, everybody's running down the field. And we looked at him, we went, douglas, go run after the ball. He literally. He was picking daisies. He turns around. He turns around and looks at us and goes, mommy, Daddy. Why? I'm just going to wait here. The ball's going to come back up here, so I'm just going to wait for it.
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A
He's smart.
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B
And I thought.
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D
I looked at my husband and I
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B
said, this athletic career is over, but that's okay.
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A
Yeah. I feel like a lot of, like, the parent responsibilities or the parent not even responsibilities, but the mother takes over. And I think when a man has a boy, they see their place in the, like, parenting relationship more than when they have a girl. I think they evolve really quickly once that girl is born, and they see that they are as needed, as much as the mom is needed. But it's. I think it's just in their head in the beginning until they actually start to experiencing it. And I know that's. My son found out he was having a girl and was like, I'm not having a boy. And, you know, he really wanted to carry on my late husband's legacy. He wanted to name him John. And he had all these dreams for his boy, and he found out he was having a girl. And we had the shower this weekend, and he came with his T shirt that said girl dad on it. So it took a little while. Took a few months for him to kind of come to terms with it, but once he did, he's all in. So I think it just takes a little time. And I think that that anonymous husband's reaction was, like, kind of knee jerk a little bit.
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B
Yeah. All right, well, anonymous, let us know. Congratulations on. On your baby. Let us know. We wish you a happy, healthy baby. That's what we're all wishing.
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A
Absolutely.
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B
All right, let's move on to our next one. This is from court. I am about to become a single mom by choice, using a donor. And while I feel really empowered, I keep getting comments like, don't you want a full family? It's starting to get in my head. How do you tune out other people's opinions and trust your own path. What says you guys?
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C
Well, I'm gonna sit here and say the best family I had was with a single mother. Let me tell you that when my dad was present, it was awful, awful family. So I don't think having a single parent or not having, or having a, you know, couple, I don't think it matters, truthfully, because sometimes it's the best thing for the child to just have that single parent. So. Yeah, I'm just saying from an example. Baby, I'm sorry.
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D
No, no, no, keep going. You have that like.
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C
Yeah. Experience is just like. You don't. There's no such thing as the full experience. Right. Because you're going to have your best friends who are might be men. You might have your brother who can be the uncle. You can. There's just so many different places that that can be taken care of. Like the man to be there for the child. But I don't think it's necessary. You need a father in there. You know what I mean? Because it's not about just having a father, it's having a good man raised.
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A
Good.
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B
Exactly. And that's why when people say, you know, it's my. In my case, my stepmother was much more of a mother to me than my real mother ever was. And you're absolutely. I love that Hakeem, that. Spot on. What about you, Monica? Do you have any thoughts?
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D
I was just going to say sometimes having two parents isn't always the healthies, you know, situation. Being a teacher in like lower economic air, like lower socio economical areas. Some of those, you know, two parent households were some of the worst, you know, situations for those kids. Because just because you have a mother and a father doesn't mean it's going to be a loving household.
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C
Exactly.
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D
That single mother, she's gonna, you know, cherish court, she's gonna cherish that baby and give her so much love. And they can, like Hakeem said, get other people. Like, it's not going to be just her and baby. There's going to be other people around in her life, you know.
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B
Yeah. It's the family you choose kind of thing.
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D
Yes, exactly. And I mean, that's. I can say that I. My chosen family, our baby Marlee Marie's chosen family is going to be amazing. You know, she may not have any of my blood family in her life, but she's going to have my best friends who I've known since middle school. You know, those are her aunties and
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C
she'll have some of your family. Because she has some of her family as well. Her cousin is. She's dating a black man as well. Well, married, I'm sure.
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D
Not dating.
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A
Yeah, there you go.
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B
See, Hakeem, this is what happens. You date, you get married.
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D
Their sons are in like, one is a sophomore in college and one is a senior in high school.
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A
Okay, this has happened a long time ago. Yes.
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C
Yeah, that's my bad. That's my bad. I, I, Yeah, that's my bad. That's my be.
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A
Yeah.
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C
Or you're gonna. She's gonna be a phenomenal. The thing is, is that, like, yeah, she's gonna be a phenomenal mother. And the best father I had was my mother. So, like, at the end of the day, you can be that for your child. Because you know what you don't want for your child? And trust me, you don't want a toxic man. So if you take your time, you have that baby and you're gonna have a beautiful stepdad.
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D
I was just gonna say that. You never know.
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A
And you know down what's gonna happen.
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D
She could very well meet a man and have a beautiful step stepdad in their life.
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A
And that's a big thing these days. I mean, women are freezing their eggs, they're using a donor. If they don't find somebody. Just because they don't find somebody in their childbearing years doesn't mean they're never gonna find somebody. So I think that, you know, that just keeps a door open. They still get to be a mom and still get to find a mate, possibly.
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D
And I think you just gotta do what's right for yourself. And, like, people are gonna have opinions about anything. You could.
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B
Exactly.
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D
You know, I could buy my hair color and someone would have an opinion about it.
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A
That's for sure. You know what it is?
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B
I just had a dirty thought. Opinions are, like, blank. Everyone has one.
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A
Yeah, that's right. What is it?
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C
Like, I'm confused. What does that mean?
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B
Yeah, you're so full that I can't, you know.
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C
I don't know what you mean.
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B
Monica will explain it to you later. Let me just say. I just want to say, Court, you asked. Your simple question was, how do you tune out other people's opinions and trust your own path? By trusting your own path. It's exactly what you said. Trust your own path and shut out other people's opinions. Tune them out and you're well on your way. And we wish you all, let us know again, to you, happy, happy baby. You're about to embark on the most wonderful journey that life can offer you.
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C
You can't take opinions from people that's never been in her shoes too. So like those people's opinions and what they say doesn't matter because they don't know how to be in your shoes, how to walk 5ft in your shoes. Because it couldn't. Right. I think what she's doing is brave and I think she's going what she wants and I think she should absolutely go for it. Absolutely.
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A
Totally agree with you.
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B
We want to hear. We want to hear what happens. We want to know. We want names, birthdays.
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C
Yeah.
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A
Yeah.
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C
You know, Kathy gonna show up to the baby shop, so.
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B
And I give and akeem. I give good gifts. So, you know, you just want to keep that in mind.
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A
Me too. Don't. Don't invite her without inviting me.
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C
Everybody's invited. Everybody's invited.
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A
Okay. Well, we have one more. And this is from Tyla. This is.
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D
Hi.
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A
Kathy and Susan. Is it unreasonable that I don't want to spend my third trimester driving around a car full of drunk 30 year old men? I feel like I'm already sacrificing so much and this just feels inconsiderate. I'm trying not to freak out on him, but I can't help it. Guys. What do you think? Driving around a car full of drunk guys.
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D
Who's the 30 year old? Is that her husband? Her.
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A
I believe it's her husband and his friends.
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B
That is husband, partner, you know, somebody
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D
shouldn't need to be doing that. She should never be doing that. I don't know why I'm like, don't
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B
you want to know what she's sacrificing?
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C
Right.
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B
I mean, that concerns me more than the drunk guys.
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D
Yeah. I just. I feel like the drunk guys. What are you doing? Why are you. What? What?
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A
Why is his father to be out with a bunch of drunk guys? It sounds like he does it fairly often. It's not like. Yeah. She's spending her entire third trimester driving
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D
around like you do.
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A
It's. It's time.
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B
But again, why is Tyler saying she's sacrificing?
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A
Like sacrificing having a baby so much.
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B
What is she.
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A
I don't know. May because she can't drink well or
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D
to sleep time at home, like resting. I don't know. That just.
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C
I think there's two things I want to say about this. I think the first one is probably there's something deeper going on in that situation. Getting drunk and all of those things because when I first found out she was Pregnant. I was going through it emotionally because I'm like, I don't want to be like my father. I don't want to do this. I gotta be better and all of those things. I don't know what he may be going through, but I think on the second side is that, like, yo, you gotta start manning up, bro. Like, you're not in your 20s. We're not in college anymore. You're getting drunk and having your girlfriend who's pregnant. Wife. Excuse me. You're right. I keep saying girlfriend, but we don't know we're engaged. You're my.
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A
We don't actually know if they're married.
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B
She's with this guy, but they're engaged because they did it on our podcast. I just want to reiterate that. Go ahead.
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C
Yeah. No, I just. I. I think. I think she needs to put her foot down. I think it's. It's a sign of respect. I think it's really disrespectful that this woman is going through nine months of. From my point of view, what I see for the first three months is it's. It's hard. And she's doing that specifically for Marley, but she's also doing it for us. Right. Because I want this baby, she wants the baby and all of those things as well. So I think it's quite, very, very, very selfish of that person to be doing that. I think if he wants to raise a child, that whole scenario needs to be changed. Because do you want your daughter to pick up after what you're doing, getting drunk and driving around and all those things? That make any sense?
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A
Yeah. Living that party life.
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B
And let me say, before we close this part out.
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C
Yeah.
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B
You bring up something really interesting, Hakeem, that I hope you both remember. More free advice from Kathy. Kids will never.
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D
Yeah, we'll always take it.
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B
Listen, Hakeem, listen up. Because Monica already has. Kids never listen to what you say. They watch what you do. That's what you're modeling. Your behavior is going to be the model for your children. Not the words you tell them. The words reinforce your behavior, but you want to be a good role model.
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A
He's a father to be. And is going out getting drunk, it sounds like fairly often, is a little disturbing, I have to say. I think the conversation needs to be more. Not about you driving them, but why is he doing it.
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B
Correct.
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A
I think there's a deeper problem here.
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B
We wish you luck, Tyler. We wish you luck.
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C
I'm sure. For sure, Tyler, you deserve better.
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D
Yeah.
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C
Respectfully,
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B
All right, I just. We have one little extra thing here before we get into a little game with you two. This is. This is from someone in Kansas. It says, hi. This is not a question, but more of a thank you to both of you. I listen to your podcast on the Way to Work every morning, and it has helped me tremendously. Over the last year, I've had two miscarriages, six failed IUI treatments, and now going on my second round of ivf, hoping for my second child to complete our family. During all those ups and downs, I'm going to cry. These podcasts have helped me to keep me distracted and most of all, to see what loving parents and grandparents you guys are and just praying for the chance and to have another child so that I can use all your parenting tips to make our family the best it can be. I was hoping to be on the bachelor cruise at the end of this year, but with the family treatment now and at second year, I don't know what the future holds, but want to share my appreciation and admiration for both of you. I'm originally from New York, but lived in Boston. Yay, Boston. And Philly. Yay for Susan and Philly. If I recall, one of you was from Boston. Yes, that is I. And she now lives in Kansas. Lots of love to both of you, always, and whoever you are that is. That's made my day. Thank you. That's very, very kind of you. And I'll pass it along to Susan for sure when she gets back.
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C
I say something, too, just like, you're extremely strong, and to be able to just present that to everybody, it just shows, like. Yeah, I just. I. Yeah. Truthfully. Yeah, Really? I know. That's. That's so obvious. I can't speak on it because I'm not a woman, but it's just, like, she's so strong for being able to just put herself out there and tell her story that way as well, so.
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B
Yeah.
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C
Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of women who are probably going through the same thing, and they. So many that, you know, so.
- [19:21]
B
Yeah, so many. That's. You're absolutely right, Hakeem. So kudos to you. Sorry you can't be on the Bachelor cruise with us, but we will definitely think about good luck. Yeah, let us know. We hope that this next Ivy
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A
comes
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B
works out and that you have a beautiful baby coming forward.
- [19:42]
A
She sounds like she'll be a great, caring mother. Yeah, she sounds like a person. Yeah. We need. We need you to have some babies. Yeah, we need.
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B
We need more moms. Like you.
- [19:50]
A
Yeah.
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B
Okay, you can submit your burning questions to us by going to bachelor nation.com golden hour. Come back each week and see if we answer yours. We love hearing from you. We love that you love our advice or not. Either way, we love to hear from you. So please, please keep those letters, comments and questions coming.
- [20:11]
A
Okay, so I think we have a few more minutes with you. And you know we love our games. So if it's okay with you, we're gonna play. We're gonna play a game called would you rather but this time it's for new parents. Hakeen and Monica will each give us their answers. Okay, are you ready? Here's the first one. Never sleep through the night again or always step on Legos. And if you stepped on Legos ever in your life, they hurt like crap.
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D
Listen, I would always step on Legos. I like, I, I can walk on wood chips barefoot, like so I would
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B
rather always step on like, amen. Monica. What about you, Hakeem?
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C
I mean, I wear socks, so I'd rather step on Legos for sure.
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B
Sleep, guys. That four letter word, sleep.
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A
So you're sleeping through the night? It's not going to happen. I'm just letting you know.
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B
But okay, can I just say, I said sleep is a four letter word. I was an English major. Apparently I felt failed. It's five letters. But you know what? Slep is slept. It's close enough. Okay, okay.
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A
Slept is slept.
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C
Oh my slap.
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B
I didn't say slept.
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A
I said there is no slept. That is not a word, girl.
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C
Oh, my. Oh, man.
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B
Hey, if fetch can be a word, so can slip.
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D
There you go.
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A
I'm with you left.
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B
Okay, here's the next one. It's fetched from. Never mind. Okay, yeah, every. Here's. This one actually occurred in my family. So I want to know, would you rather change every diaper or handle every 3M wake up call?
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A
3am wake up call.
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B
What do you.
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A
What do you mean?
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B
Guys?
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C
Yeah, I'm gonna keep it a buck with you. I. I have never changed a diaper before, so. I know, I know, I know, I know you will.
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A
You will.
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C
So I can't say which one I'd rather do you know, so. But I'm gonna say like, truthfully, I'd rather change the diaper if it's 3am Wake up calls.
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D
Come on now.
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C
I'm trying to do the diaper changing over the.
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B
What about you, Monica?
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D
Probably every diaper change again.
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B
Are you, are you thinking about nursing? Because that's a no. If you're nursing baby. You're gonna be up to three hours anyway, so let him do the diapers.
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A
Shall.
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D
Let him do the diapers. Because those blowouts. Yeah, he's never changed the blowout, so he can handle those.
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B
Oh, you wait. Wait till you see. It goes up the back.
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A
Up their back.
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B
You're gonna love clothes. Yeah. Change your clothes at 3am you're gonna love it. Oh, yeah. All right.
- [22:33]
C
We have shifts. We're gonna do shifts.
- [22:35]
B
Not if she's nursing.
- [22:37]
C
Yeah, well, can't you guys. Oh, well, I'm sorry. Can't you pump? And then I'll be able to just like, obviously. I'm sorry if I'm. I'm very like. I'm still learning.
- [22:47]
B
You can pump. I didn't.
- [22:48]
A
That. You're learning and you're trying to figure
- [22:50]
B
it out, because why do you want up and pump? You might as well just feed the baby. Yes.
- [22:53]
C
No, I'm saying she's just going to pump throughout the day, so then I can use.
- [22:56]
A
So she has some. Yeah, so he has some. Bu.
- [22:59]
B
Well, I couldn't do that because I had so much milk, I could feed the neighborhood. So I couldn't miss the feeding.
- [23:04]
A
I did not. I pumped and I sometimes got a little extra sleep. So. That's a great idea, Hakeem. I love that you're learning this.
- [23:09]
B
I was a Guernsey cow, Hakeem. I donated. I donated milk to the. I'm not kidding. I donate a lot of milk to the.
- [23:16]
C
God. Yo, Kathy.
- [23:20]
A
Wait, wait.
- [23:20]
B
Can I just tell you? Watch Hakeem turn red. Hakeem, also, my neighbor had a baby about the same time I had my first child. And she. She couldn't feed an aunt. She didn't have enough milk. But she tried. She brought. She brought her son down to me, and I nursed him, and he slept for six hours.
- [23:37]
A
No, you did not.
- [23:38]
B
Yes, I did.
- [23:39]
C
You nursed him.
- [23:40]
A
Okay, I'm dying.
- [23:42]
B
What's wrong?
- [23:42]
C
Oh, no, you. Ain't nothing wrong with that. I'm gonna tell you this right now.
- [23:45]
A
I love.
- [23:46]
B
She came down with me. She was so slee. Sleep deprived because the baby. And she came down. I. I don't know what she came down for. I said, give me that baby. I said, do you want me to nurse him? She said, would you? And I said, yeah. And that kid, she took him home. He slept for six hours.
- [23:59]
A
Oh, my gosh. That's crazy.
- [24:01]
B
The milk shop now is closed. But, yeah, I pumped. I had. I had so much fat content in my milk, it was Crazy. Crazy.
- [24:09]
A
Oh, good for you.
- [24:10]
C
I'm gonna drink her breast milk, too. For sure. I gotta see what it tastes like. I see what they.
- [24:14]
A
Are you gonna do it?
- [24:15]
B
My husband did.
- [24:16]
A
Stop that. I've never known my husband.
- [24:19]
B
Did you? Of course your husband. Never.
- [24:22]
A
Never, ever, ever. And I'm dying to hear what it tastes like. So please, when you do that, will you please do an Instagram post?
- [24:28]
C
Oh, yeah. Hell, yeah.
- [24:31]
B
Listen, you could do a taste test. Yeah, Monica's milk and, you know, cream.
- [24:36]
A
Oat milk.
- [24:37]
B
Oat milk, cream. Monica's milk. MM's milk. It's. You know, you can start a whole thing. Hakeem.
- [24:43]
D
Yeah, we'll try it out. That's a good idea.
- [24:44]
A
Okay. I mean, look at. You gotta try it, but let's go, like, superficial now. Expensive stroller or luxury nursery?
- [24:55]
D
Expensive stroller, I was gonna say.
- [24:57]
B
They are, by the way, and they are really.
- [24:59]
C
The nursery. I would say the expensive nursery. That's a whole room. Isn't that A whole room? A nursery. Yeah.
- [25:05]
A
Yep. Yeah.
- [25:06]
B
What are you gonna do, throw your kid in a box with wheels? Hakeem.
- [25:09]
C
I mean, or I can just wait. It depends, right? Because if you have a stroller, you don't have to have an expensive stroller. Why would you need an expensive.
- [25:17]
B
I can tell you why. You want one that converts where the baby, you can hook it right into the car. Right. Monica knows these things. Just look at it.
- [25:24]
C
So you'd rather have your kid in the ghetto is basically what you're saying. You want it. You want it.
- [25:28]
D
No.
- [25:29]
C
Holes in the walls. Holes in the walls. Why can't we just have a regular stroller?
- [25:38]
B
Hakeem, let me just explain something to you right now.
- [25:41]
C
Yes, ma'. Am. Go ahead.
- [25:43]
B
The woman that you just got engaged to is always right. Turn to Monica and say, darling, whatever you want for this, for Marlee, you will have.
- [25:53]
C
For Marlee Marie, you will have.
- [25:54]
B
There you go. Marlee Marie's gonna have a beautiful luxury nursery. Stroller.
- [25:59]
A
And a beautiful nursery.
- [26:00]
B
And Monica, if you need help on strollers, Joan and I know which one to get, so.
- [26:04]
A
Oh, my gosh, I just bought one. Yep. As a matter of fact, for my.
- [26:06]
B
All right, how about this one? How about this one?
- [26:09]
A
Yeah.
- [26:10]
B
Overshare baby content online or not post them at all, because before you answer, like my daughter, whose baby. Whose daughter's three today, I am not allowed to post her face on Instagram except a story because it's gone in 24 hours. So are you gonna over post or not post at all? Which would you rather do?
- [26:33]
D
Yeah, I have friends who do both. My one friend, her son is not on, like, his face is not on it, but my other friend, her daughter is. Whatever. Probably overshare.
- [26:44]
C
Yeah. I'm gonna be the same.
- [26:45]
D
Yeah.
- [26:45]
C
I like to. As you know, I show my peoples. I show you all of my. Yeah, like, I'm gonna show what's mine and, like, yeah, trophies, like, you know what I mean? I'm gonna show what I got. Like, I gotta chat.
- [26:55]
A
We hope you overshare. We hope you share, like, all the, like, down and dirty, content with, like, spit up on your shoulders and exhausted and the baby is finally asleep, and we're. We're. Our house is a mess. And we love that because it makes you real people. And people need to see that.
- [27:10]
B
Exactly.
- [27:12]
D
You're perfect. That's. That's for sure.
- [27:14]
C
That's my damn.
- [27:21]
A
Here's one that happens all the time. So I'm going to give you your choice. But you'll. It'll happen for both. Both these things will happen. Forget the diaper bag once a week or always run out of wipes at the worst time. It will happen. Both will happen.
- [27:35]
B
Yep.
- [27:35]
D
That's a hard one.
- [27:37]
A
Yeah.
- [27:38]
C
Honestly, I'm gonna say the wipes, the diaper bags, you can always just grab some from. You know, grab something. Go to Target or go to Walmart.
- [27:48]
B
I'm with you, Hakeem.
- [27:49]
A
Yeah.
- [27:50]
C
So is she pooping and you don't got no wipes and you.
- [27:52]
A
You.
- [27:53]
C
That. That's tough.
- [27:54]
B
All right, I'm with you guys.
- [27:56]
A
I'm with you.
- [27:56]
D
I think I. I think forgetting the diaper bag because. Yeah, you can just run to the store if you need to wait a little bit longer.
- [28:03]
A
Yeah.
- [28:04]
B
I mean, so what? The poop runs up their back. You know, you're in the same position you were before.
- [28:08]
A
Yeah. Well, honestly, I mean, if you have the diaper bag and you're, like, in, like, the. The bathroom and you're on the changing table and you realize you don't have any wipes in it. You can grab, like, a paper towel or you could wet some clip. You could do something. There are ways out of that.
- [28:21]
B
Just hold the baby upside down in the shower.
- [28:24]
A
Yeah. Under the sink. I mean, done all these things. There are ways to get out. I think the diaper bag. Honestly, you. Chances are you have formula in there, you have the diapers, you have the baby wipe. Like running to a store when you're at the. When you just sat down at the restaurant, and the baby poops and you forgot the diaper bag is. Is an issue. I have to say.
- [28:41]
D
The truth is.
- [28:42]
B
The truth is, you guys are never going to forget a diaper bag. Believe me, you'll forget Hakeem before you'll forget the diaper bag. Okay, I got a funny one. I've got a funny one because, you know, I love you, Hakeem. And this. Actually, it wasn't my son's first word, but Would you rather have your baby's first word be a curse word like shit or your first name? It's not. It's not a trick question, guys.
- [29:12]
C
Yeah, I mean, I think me and her might have different answers.
- [29:16]
D
I would say probably our first name, because they're going to hear that often.
- [29:20]
C
Yeah, I would say the first thing, too, I think. I mean, I'm gonna try my best to not curse around my kids.
- [29:25]
A
Yeah.
- [29:25]
C
You know, I mean, they're gonna hear it regardless. Yeah.
- [29:27]
A
Yeah.
- [29:27]
C
I think it's just with my household that I grew up in, you just respect what girls.
- [29:33]
D
I don't want that.
- [29:35]
C
Oh, y' all family be.
- [29:37]
D
Oh, I don't want that.
- [29:38]
B
Yeah, no, you don't. You don't. My. My 14, though, my second child who, you know, has kept me on my toes his whole life. My husband backed out of the garage into, like, there was like a post, you know, in the corner of the house, and he drove into it, and my husband said. I'd always said to my husband, you cannot swear because our children will repeat. That's what they do. Like I said, they model after you. Right. So my husband drives into this post and literally knocks it loose and says, son of a bitch. And my 14 month old in the back goes, some forbid. Some forbid, like, ran it all together. And I looked at my husband, I said, are you proud? Are you proud of yourself now? And literally for like, the next month, every time anything happened, that was my. My 14 month old saying that I could have.
- [30:26]
C
Oh, my God. That is actually. I'm sorry, that's not. Yeah, sorry.
- [30:29]
A
No.
- [30:29]
B
Well, it's funny now. It was not funny at the time.
- [30:32]
D
I would much rather it just be our. Our names, because that is our first names. Like, that's okay.
- [30:39]
C
But she's not going to call me by my first name.
- [30:41]
D
Oh, but if that's what she hears like, yeah, saying Hakeem, like, she's gonna know.
- [30:45]
C
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
- [30:46]
B
You're gonna start calling each other Mommy and daddy. Yeah.
- [30:49]
A
Yeah. That's how they learn it.
- [30:51]
B
Daddy, Marie's looking for you. Mommy. That's the way it rolls.
- [30:56]
A
Okay, let's do one last one, because this is actually an important one. And you'll probably be both these people at one point. Be the only one who can calm the baby, or the baby only calms for your partner.
- [31:08]
B
Which would you rather?
- [31:09]
D
Oh, I'd rather be the only one that I can that can calm the baby.
- [31:13]
C
I'd rather be the only one that can calm the baby, too.
- [31:17]
B
You can fight over the only one
- [31:19]
A
that can calm her.
- [31:20]
B
Yeah, the baby's gonna be. You know what's gonna happen? John Marley Marie is going to be a lion there. Her head's going to be going back and forth like an owl while the two of them fight over which one's going to calm her down.
- [31:31]
A
She's fine. I can do it. I can do better. There's going to be times in the middle of the night that you're going to be like, hakeem, I can't calm her, even though maybe you can. And you're gonna say, you're the only one that can calm her. Sweetie, take the baby.
- [31:40]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [31:41]
C
No, for sure.
- [31:42]
D
Yeah.
- [31:42]
C
I mean, I don't mind taking care of the baby at all. Like, for me. Yeah, that. Because I just want to make your life easier, too, because I know you have to breastfeed and all that stuff. So, like, if I can try to calm the baby down so you can chill for a little bit, then cool.
- [31:54]
B
I, I love this. I, I, I have to say, Hakeem, I always knew that there was a side of you. Monica, you are lovely. You two make a wonderful couple. You so happy. A Bachelor Nation. We cannot wait for Marlene Marie to enter this role and become the newest, if only for a day or two, until the next one pops out. The newest, youngest member of Bachelor Nation. We, we really, we want to keep hearing from you. Let us know about your journey. We're so excited for you, really.
- [32:27]
C
Going to Turkey to get my, my hairline fixed, too. If y' all wanted to know about that. My, you know, because I'm receding a little bit. Yeah, yo, because, you know, people used to always be like, why you got that mop head? All right, talk to me. Now. When they see me in nine months, they're like, what's up?
- [32:40]
B
I got, Trust me, Hakeem, Hakeem, you're not gonna, you're not gonna be worried about your hairline. You're gonna be wondering when you got your last shower. You know, where is the clean underwear? There's no clean underwear left. Because your darling, beautiful Engaged, fiance, bride, whatever we are at the time this baby comes is going to be sleeping, saying, I don't know, honey, go find something. And you know what? You're going to go find something. You're not going to be worried about your hairline, trust me.
- [33:06]
C
Kathy, take a shower every day.
- [33:08]
B
Two. What?
- [33:11]
C
Two showers a day.
- [33:12]
B
One in the morning, girl, you'll see.
- [33:14]
C
Going to be dry.
- [33:16]
B
You know what?
- [33:17]
C
Two showers a day, John.
- [33:18]
A
No, one a day.
- [33:20]
B
I take two. I take one in the morning when I wake up, and I take one before I go to bed so that I can put on clean pajamas and snuggle down in my bed. Because, you know, it's only me and my bed, Hakeem. I got to be warm and cuddly. Somebody's got to. You know what I mean?
- [33:32]
C
You know, some days, you know, on the weekends, if I don't go out, I'll sometimes miss a day. You know what I mean? So.
- [33:37]
A
It's all right.
- [33:38]
B
Hey, listen, no judgment, no judgment.
- [33:40]
C
You know, I'm like, damn, it's been two days. Let me stop.
- [33:45]
B
You know, let me just say. With. Monica says, darling, I love you, but, you know, you can go sleep in another room. You know, just. Just. You might want to think about that.
- [33:52]
C
Oh, we already had that. When I snore.
- [33:54]
A
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
- [33:56]
B
Well, that's.
- [33:57]
A
That's.
- [33:57]
D
That's right.
- [33:58]
A
See you later.
- [33:59]
B
You know what? See you later. Get. Get a sleep apnea test done. Do something. Don't. If that's not bro, it's so.
- [34:05]
C
I have a cpap.
- [34:06]
D
Has a cpap.
- [34:08]
C
It feels. Don't feel good on my face. And I got the.
- [34:11]
B
Get an Inspire. I'm doing a commercial for Implant. Get an Inspire.
- [34:14]
A
Implant has it.
- [34:15]
C
Oh, what the heck? What's that?
- [34:17]
B
Look it up.
- [34:17]
A
They put it in your chest. It goes up. You just read about it. And Chuck has it. And he never snores.
- [34:22]
C
Can I ask you a question?
- [34:24]
A
Yeah.
- [34:24]
C
Is that for old folks or is it for young folks?
- [34:26]
B
It's for anyone. Hakeem. You're the one with the receding hairline, buddy. Welcome to the old folks club. Okay, so that's. So Hakeem just passed out there. I want to thank everyone. I'm sorry, Hakeem. That's. It's truth. The truth hurt.
- [34:50]
C
Yo, Kathy, I love you.
- [34:52]
B
I love you.
- [34:53]
C
I'm sorry. Go ahead.
- [34:55]
B
Okay, well, while Hakeem gets control of himself, I want to thank the rest of you for joining us on Golden Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour today.
- [35:04]
A
And make sure you rate, review and subscribe wherever. You listen to podcasts and you can
- [35:08]
B
follow us on social media, Bachelor Happy Hour and Bachelor Nation until next week.
- [35:15]
A
See you next time.