Bachelor Happy Hour | Golden Hour
Episode: Hakeem’s Self-Love Journey
Date: September 17, 2025
Hosts: Kathy & Susan (with guest Hakeem, Bachelor in Paradise & Bachelorette alum)
Episode Overview
This episode of Bachelor Happy Hour centers around a candid conversation with Hakeem, former contestant on Bachelor in Paradise and The Bachelorette. The hosts, Kathy and Susan, explore Hakeem's brief experience on the show, his views on the evolving dynamics of reality dating (including the new $500,000 prize twist), his journey towards emotional maturity and self-love, his modeling adventures, and provide heartfelt relationship advice for a listener. The tone is playful, honest, and supportive, offering both behind-the-scenes insights and personal revelations.
Main Discussion Points & Insights
1. Chatting the New Bachelorette (02:56–06:11)
- The hosts discuss the unconventional choice for the new Bachelorette: a 31-year-old divorced mother with a significant social following, marking a bold shift for the franchise.
- Kathy:
“Bachelor is smart. They decided to completely go a different direction, pulling this young woman who has kids, who's been divorced, who's at 31 already lived a really rich, varied life, and she's gonna bring with her her million plus followers.” (04:19)
2. Hakeem Joins the Golden Hour (06:13–06:34)
- Warm and flirtatious banter opens as Hakeem joins, prompting jokes about chemistry with Susan and missed Paradise couplings.
3. Reflecting on Bachelor In Paradise (07:17–09:40)
- Hakeem’s Experience: Short but “phenomenal” preparation process; went in determined to truly be himself despite nerves.
- Missed Connections: Hakeem shares he was excited to meet Parisa, but she was already in a relationship when he arrived.
- “I wanted my shot … just to say hi and tell her how much I enjoy her energy and how much I think she'd be great as a girlfriend. …she brings a lot to the table.” (08:34)
4. The $500,000 Prize Twist (09:40–12:18)
- Mixed Feelings: Hakeem is happy for the winners but worries the big prize changed the spirit of the show:
- “Started to be strategic, and I'm like, what the hell we being strategic on a love show for? We trying to get married.” (09:47)
- Hakeem insists if faced with the choice, he’d still pick love over money—“You can always earn $500,000 … but I'm not going to sacrifice something that might be once in a lifetime.” (10:23)
- Kathy and Susan speculate if couples could “game the system” and agree to meet after, highlighting how the addition of money complicates the show’s premise.
5. The Importance of the Golden Contestants (12:18–15:21)
- Hakeem credits the “Goldens” (the older contestants) for saving the show and creating unmatched energy:
- “You held it down. Specifically, you. You started a whole trend…We was boring as—I'm sorry. …You guys, your energy unmatched.” (13:43)
- Both hosts and Hakeem reflect on how fun and genuine the Golden cast was.
6. Paradise Again? And Reality Check (15:21–17:43)
- Hakeem says he wouldn’t return to Paradise, citing how the money influenced intentions, and expresses a desire for an experience “very intentional” about finding love.
- He admits disappointment that many women he hoped to meet weren’t on the beach, revealing the role of luck and producer choices.
7. Can Love Still Be Found in Paradise? (22:50–25:18)
- Hakeem believes it’s possible but the new money dynamic introduces more risk for heartbreak and strategic gameplay:
- “You kind of just fire. You're playing with fire at this point because now people are going to go on the show for money too. ...I'm an empath and I know I'm going to be hurt.” (23:05)
8. Hakeem’s Self-Love & Emotional Growth (25:27–26:43)
- Currently not in a relationship, Hakeem is focusing on self-improvement, especially developing emotional regulation.
- “I wear my heart on my sleeve. ...I make sure to take care of my partner in tenfold and Then I don't have anything for me. So I gotta love myself.” (26:14)
9. The Modeling Chapter (26:56–29:32)
- Hakeem recounts walking at San Diego Swim Week, being celebrated for his authentic energy:
- “They let me be me. ...I was out there hitting the quan. ...the audience, they were loving.” (27:29)
- Looks forward to more modeling—including an upcoming charity event—and cherishes organic connections over forced ones.
10. Upcoming Plans and a Funny Confession (29:49–32:14)
- Hakeem talks about future modeling gigs and travel—including an event in Vegas.
- Lighthearted moment: Hakeem announces, “I'm getting. I'm going to Turkey and I'm getting a hair transplant.” (30:58)
11. Romantic Gestures, Love Languages, and Vulnerability (32:31–36:48)
- Discussion on whether grand gestures or small, everyday acts are more meaningful.
- Hakeem prefers the small things: “It doesn’t have to be you’re taking me to Nobu … like, if you’re just making my life easier … let me take care of this real quick for you. …That makes me think that, oh, yeah, she cares.” (33:02)
- Hosts reflect on the importance of attention and physical touch, sharing vulnerabilities and learnings from their own relationships.
- Hakeem and the hosts share how communication and love languages don’t always align, needing conscious awareness ("...my communication style isn't the way other people want to be communicated to as well…" (35:09)).
Listener Advice Segment
“Zach from Short Hills, New Jersey” (43:31–46:44)
- Situation: 28-year-old Zach, in his first relationship, struggles as his best friend/roommate disapproves of his girlfriend and demands more “guys’ nights.”
- Hakeem’s Advice:
- “He a grown ass man talking about he want him to come over for boys night. If you trying to get to know a woman and you telling him he's. And he should feel guilty because he's spending time. He's tripping, his friend is tripping.” (43:34)
- Hakeem and the hosts agree the friend’s jealousy/boredom is the real issue and that Zach should communicate honestly, prioritize his happiness, and let the friendship adjust to his new relationship.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On the $500K Twist:
“You can always earn $500,000 ... but I'm not going to sacrifice something that might be once in a lifetime.”
— Hakeem (10:23) -
On the Golden Cast:
"You held it down. Specifically, you. ...You guys, your energy unmatched..."
— Hakeem to Kathy & Susan (13:43) -
On Self-Love:
"I make sure to take care of my partner in tenfold and then I don't have anything for me. So I gotta love myself..."
— Hakeem (26:14) -
On Romantic Gestures:
"It doesn’t have to be you’re taking me to Nobu … If you’re just making my life easier.... That makes me think that, oh, yeah, she cares about my well-being."
— Hakeem (33:02) -
On Dating & Friendship Conflict:
"There's nothing for you to balance. I think the only thing that needs to balance something is your homie. ...if he's happy in that relationship, and that is your best friend from childhood, you want him to augment his happiness."
— Hakeem (44:24) -
Playful Moment - Hair Transplant:
“I'm going to Turkey and I'm getting a hair transplant.”
— Hakeem (30:58)
Key Timestamps
- 02:56–06:11 – New Bachelorette Discussion
- 06:13–09:40 – Hakeem Reflects on Paradise/Season
- 09:40–12:18 – $500K Prize Debate
- 12:18–15:21 – Goldens Save The Show
- 15:21–17:43 – Why Hakeem Wouldn’t Do Paradise Again
- 22:50–25:18 – Can Love Survive the Money Twist?
- 25:27–26:43 – Hakeem’s Focus on Self-Love
- 26:56–29:32 – Modeling Stories & Organic Love
- 29:49–32:14 – Personal Updates & Transplant Confession
- 32:31–36:48 – Love Languages & Relationship Vulnerability
- 43:31–46:44 – Listener Letter: Roommate vs. Girlfriend
- 46:44–51:11 – Dating in Later Life, Standards, and Chemistry
- 51:26–52:27 – Affirmations, Ending Banter
Final Takeaways
- The addition of cash prizes is changing the game's dynamics—sometimes for the worse, sparking strategic, less authentic behavior.
- The importance of authenticity and intention in love and personal growth is a recurring theme, both in reality TV and real life.
- Nurturing self-love and emotional regulation is just as important as romantic relationships.
- Organic connections—whether in romance or friendship—remain the most cherished.
Energetic, honest, and full of Bachelor Nation personality, this episode is a refreshingly real mix of humor, heart, and wisdom for anyone navigating love—on a TV show or off.