Harsh Realities and Never-Ending Puberty | Golden Hour

Summary

Bachelor Happy Hour: Harsh Realities and Never-Ending Puberty | Golden Hour

Date: September 19, 2025
Hosts: Kathy and Susan
Podcast: Bachelor Happy Hour (iHeartPodcasts & Warner Bros)

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Episode Overview

In this candid and relatable episode, Kathy and Susan dive deep into the changing realities of relationships, the evolving definition of "settling," and navigate listener questions about dating, friendship, and body image. They offer heartfelt advice, share personal experiences, and confront society’s expectations about women’s bodies and beauty standards — from puberty through menopause. The hosts also respond to listener write-ins ranging from shy daters to complicated work flirtations, topped off with an uplifting life update from a past advice-seeker.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Meaning of "Settling" in Relationships

[04:24-09:38]

• Changing Definitions with Age
  • Kathy and Susan discuss how the concept of "settling" in relationships shifts as people age.
  • Susan: "Not everybody's going to be perfect anymore... It's a different look for me at this age." (04:35)
  • They differentiate between healthy compromise and settling on core values.
  • Kathy: "Settling is going against your core beliefs, your core wants and needs, your checklist." (05:17)
• When Is Compromise Acceptable?
  • Compromises are necessary, but “settling” against your core dealbreakers (like integrity, honesty, or fidelity) rarely works.
  • Kathy: "If I dated a man who did not have integrity, I would be settling. And I'll never do that." (05:55)
  • They agree that settling isn’t always doomed, but long-term happiness hinges on not violating one's most important values.

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2. Advice for a Shy 21-Year-Old Listener (Haley) Struggling to Date

[09:49-15:14]

• Initial Advice:
  • Susan suggests joining group activities, meet-ups, clubs, and taking group trips.
  • Kathy emphasizes the importance of baby steps, especially for someone with strong shyness.
  • Kathy: "Before you jump into clubs and things... work on bringing yourself out a little bit, a little bit at a time." (10:35)
• Building Social Comfort:
  • Practice socializing in small groups with friends (with or without boyfriends) to ease the transition.
• Different Approaches Collide:
  • Playful back-and-forth as Susan pushes for bolder steps and Kathy stands her ground on gradual progress.
  • Kathy: "I think you gotta take baby steps. And the baby step is not going off to... Ethiopia." (13:24)

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3. Navigating a Complicated Work "Friendship/Flirtation"

[20:00-26:51]

• Listener's Dilemma:
  • A 26-year-old writes about a male coworker who blurs friendship and flirtation lines, making her uncomfortable after text exchanges turn sexual.
• Susan's Take:
  • Mixed feelings; suggests clearer communication from the start could have helped.
• Kathy's Perspective:
  • The listener is not "played" if her intentions were not made 100% clear.
  • Kathy: "If it felt like it was 0 to 100, girlfriend, it's cause you didn't apply the brakes." (25:05)
• Advice to Listener:
  • It's okay to set boundaries; it's also okay to try and salvage a platonic friendship if she chooses, but clarity is key.

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4. Uplifting Listener Update: Cohabitating Success

[27:14-29:40]

• Listener Update:
  • Past advice-seeker shares a positive update: moving in with her boyfriend went extraordinarily well and an engagement may be ahead.
  • Listener: “It’s been a wonderful year of growth for our relationship and I think there’s an engagement coming soon. I got goosebumps.” (28:21)
• Hosts' Reactions:
  • Susan jokes about officiating the wedding, delighting in the listener's growth and resilience.
  • Kathy: "This update has made my day... To get such a fabulous update, I'm so happy." (28:55)

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5. Girl Chat: Bodily Changes & Beauty Standards at Every Age

[29:40-47:00]

Ongoing Physical Changes

• Menopause, Puberty, and Beyond:
  • Kathy and Susan highlight that women's bodies change constantly — not just in puberty or pregnancy.
  • Kathy (on menopause): "Do bears shit in the woods? … Yeah." (30:17)
  • Susan: "Our body chemistry changes. We are constantly changing when it comes to our bodies." (30:44)

Breaking Down Beauty Myths

• Social pressure and shame can make natural changes harder.
• Kathy: "So little women... feel shame sometimes because, you know, they can't have children anymore. What, they're not useful anymore?" (32:39)
• Both hosts urge self-acceptance and contextualize bodily changes as natural and normal.

Exercise, Diet, and Feeling Good vs. Societal Perfection

• Kathy: “There are no tricks... I work out, I lift weights, I power walk... I do it because it makes me feel better.” (33:21)
• Body changes after pregnancy, menopause, and with age are inevitable and should be met with gratitude and self-care.
• Susan: “Be so grateful that you and your partner were able to bring this miracle to life... It’s about being healthy.” (34:13)

Advice for Struggling with Body Image in the Age of Ozempic and AI

• Kathy: “Most of the pictures you see on social media, everything’s airbrushed... That’s not reality.” (37:22)
• She cautions against "quick fixes" like Ozempic for off-label use; encourages a healthy lifestyle focused on long-term wellness and body acceptance, not chasing unrealistic standards.
• Susan calls out Kathy for her own self-criticism:
  • Susan: “You still struggle with body image... You need to follow your own advice.” (38:51)
• They discuss the evolving meaning of beauty, the emergence of "curvy" as a celebrated norm, and focus on health over appearance.

Memorable Quotes:

• Kathy: “Motion is lotion.” (33:41)
• Susan: “Those perky boobs fall down to your waist... have them brought back up, that's all.” (34:59)
• Kathy: "All women know this — dryness during sex. That was unexpected. Lots of things you can do for that." (35:58)
• Kathy: "Be kind to yourself... I try to self-talk and that would be my advice." (39:17)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|---------|-------| | 04:35 | Susan | "Not everybody's going to be perfect anymore... It's a different look for me at this age." | | 05:17 | Kathy | "Settling is going against your core beliefs, your core wants and needs, your checklist." | | 10:35 | Kathy | "Before you jump into clubs and things... work on bringing yourself out a little bit." | | 13:24 | Kathy | "I think you gotta take baby steps. And the baby step is not going off to...Ethiopia." | | 25:05 | Kathy | "If it felt like it was 0 to 100, girlfriend, it's cause you didn't apply the brakes." | | 28:21 | Listener| "It’s been a wonderful year of growth for our relationship and I think there’s an engagement coming soon. I got goosebumps." | | 30:17 | Kathy | "Do bears shit in the woods? … Yeah." | | 33:41 | Kathy | "Motion is lotion." | | 34:59 | Susan | “Those perky boobs fall down to your waist...have them brought back up, that's all.” | | 37:22 | Kathy | “Most of the pictures you see on social media, everything’s airbrushed... That’s not reality.” | | 38:51 | Susan | “You still struggle with body image... You need to follow your own advice.” | | 39:17 | Kathy | "Be kind to yourself... I try to self-talk and that would be my advice." |

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Episode Timestamps for Key Segments

• Settling vs. Compromising in Relationships: 04:24-09:38
• Advice to Shy 21-Year-Old on Dating: 09:49-15:14
• Workplace Flirtation & Friendship Boundaries: 20:00-26:51
• Listener Update: Moving in with Boyfriend: 27:14-29:40
• Bodily Changes and Beauty Standards Discussion: 29:40-47:00

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Takeaways

• The definition of “settling” evolves with age and life experience; compromise is healthy, but do not abandon your core values.
• Building social confidence takes time and baby steps; lean on friends in the process.
• Open, honest communication is crucial when setting boundaries in new relationships or friendships.
• Bodily changes are a lifelong process; self-acceptance and education about what’s “normal” are key.
• Resist media and societal pressure for perfection; focus on wellness, not unattainable beauty standards.

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For listeners and Bachelor Nation fans alike, this episode serves up wisdom, laughs, and real talk about love, bodies, and embracing change at any age — always with a supportive, “you’ve got this” Golden Hour vibe.

Transcript

[Susan]

This is an iHeart podcast.

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[Kathy]

Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thank you. Thanks for joining us today. We're so excited to be back.

[Susan]

Always, Kathy. Always. And if you haven't done it yet, now is the time. Follow our podcast so you never miss an episode. Just search for Bachelor Happy Hour in the podcast app and hit the follow button.

[Kathy]

Yeah, it's super important that you follow the podcast so that you get notified every time there's a new episode. Also, while you're there, please leave us a review. Let us know your thoughts.

[Susan]

Love it. And make sure to check out all of our past episodes. You couldn't believe who we've had on here. And we've been having so much fun talking to your Bachelor Nation favorites and answering your questions. So keep them coming to bachelornation.com golden hour.

[Kathy]

Okay, Susan, we're just gonna get right into it today with the question of the day. Are you ready?

[Susan]

I'm ready.

[Kathy]

All right. What do you think settling in a relationship looks like? Do you think settling is always destined for. For failure?

[Susan]

When you say the word always, that changes it. Not always. Sometimes, especially at our age, you know, the things that you can tolerate, like, not everybody's going to be perfect anymore. We're not looking for the husband or the father to be of our new children that we're going to have in our first house. It's a different look for me at this age. And yes, I guess people would say settle because of some things I do and. And vice versa.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Susan]

How do you feel?

[Kathy]

Well, I kind of agree with you in that settling. It's really.

[Susan]

I love how she says, I kind of agree with you.

[Kathy]

Well, I don't want. I don't want your head to swell when you say settling. At our age, we know that there's always compromise in a relationship. I think, for me, I think people make the mistake sometimes of thinking, especially when they're younger, that compromise is settling, and they're not the same thing. But for me, the difference is settling is going against your core beliefs, your.

[Susan]

Core wants and needs, your checklist, if you will. Settling is. It doesn't all have. He doesn't have everything that I really wanted.

[Kathy]

Well, no, no, that's not what I'm saying. Because nobody has everything that I. That you want or I want. That would be, you know, Mr. Perfect and I, you know, if he's out there, please, you know, reach out to [e-mail] Golden Hour. But that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that there are certain things that I will not budge on. And when I was younger, for example, if the guy didn't look a certain way, I would have said, well, I'll settle for him, you know, because that settling in a younger. When you're younger, you settle. That's how you define it. For me, settling would be if I. Now, if I dated a man who did not have integrity, I will never date a man who does not have integrity. And if I did, I would be settling, and I'll never do that. So I think it looks different, I think, when you're younger, settling is. Is. Has a different meaning. But I will compromise, I think, always.

[Susan]

Yes. Yeah.

[Kathy]

So. So.

[Susan]

And I. I happen to agree. The word settling when you're much younger is totally different than when you're older.

[Kathy]

Yeah. I mean, they just mean different things. I don't think that settling is always destined for failure, depending on what.

[Susan]

What you're settling.

[Kathy]

What. Yeah. I mean, these things are. Life is fluid. Right. We change, we mature. Couples hopefully grow together. Sometimes they grow apart, and it has nothing to do with quote, unquote, what. They settle for it, you know, and.

[Susan]

Sometimes I think, as I read this, could it be I've always wanted somebody that loved me unconditionally, and you're going to settle because he loves you, but you're not as much in love with him like he loves.

[Kathy]

That's settling.

[Susan]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Kathy]

Yeah. I don't do that. I mean.

[Susan]

No, no. I've got to be head over heels, Right? Yeah.

[Kathy]

But I do think that relationships, I think relationships, I mean, that's a big bucket of things that break up relationships. But I don't think settling if you're younger and you, you know, you. You get with a guy who isn't in the profession that you, you know, I want to marry a doctor or lawyer. I think those are superficial things that change day to day and no one cares. But I think if you settle, for example, if, if you, not you, Susan. But if somebody falls in love when they're young and they, the guy cheated on them, for example, and then they say, you know what? I love Johnny. I don't know. My poor son in law. I'm always using his name. Yeah, that's easy one. I love you, Johnny. I love you Sam. And Sam has said, you know how, how apologetic can he be? It'll never happen again. You know, if it happens again and you settle. Well, it's settling if you, if so that's if you go to the beginning. If you say I will never date, I will never get in a serious relationship with a man who cheated on me. If that's one of my core beliefs, right? And I, but I'm so in love with Sam that I think I'm bee's knees. He'll never cheat on me. And then he does. I've settled, right? I've. I've gone against my core belief and so that may blow up in my face. That's just how I look at it. I think it depends on how big the settle is. That's what we said before.

[Susan]

Exactly what it is. You're settling.

[Kathy]

So Susan, could you help me find the guy so I can decide whether I'm willing to settle or not?

[Susan]

All right, now it's time to get to our listener write ins. I'm going to start us off today.

[Kathy]

Okay.

[Susan]

Hailey writes. Hello, Kathy and Susan. First of all, I am a big fan of both of us. So I am 21 years old and most of my friends have or had boyfriends already or talking to guys and some of my friends are shyer than I am. I have tried some dating apps in the past but I've always ended up deleting them because I never ended up talking to guys. I don't really get out that much, regardless if it's with my friends or by myself. I was just wondering if you guys have any advice for me on how I should get out more or something like that. Kathy, can I answer this for you? I know what you're gonna say. Join a meetup. Join.

[Kathy]

Get a. I love you. That is part of what I was gonna say. We definitely know each other, Susan. But actually you know what I was gonna say. First thing is, Hailey, I find it very interesting that you say most of my friends have or had boyfriends already or at least talking to guys. And some of my friends are shyer than I am. Shy than that. Well, I think that's interesting that you say that, because I think based on what you've written here, you're exceptionally shy. And so I think before you put the cart before the horse and. And that is before you jump into clubs and things, which are gonna be impossible for you to do because you're so shy, I would work on bringing yourself out a little bit. A little bit at a time. Can you imagine being as shy as she is and going on a dating app to meet someone you've never met?

[Susan]

Well, this is what I'm reading. She ends up deleting him because she never ends up talking to guys. So if somebody messages her. Haley, are you not responding? Is that.

[Kathy]

That's what I'm saying. Can you imagine if you're that shy? It's hard enough to go on a date, right? With someone you don't know. Imagine being really shy and having to talk with them on the. I mean, Hayley, give yourself a break here. What I would tell you to do is find your. Here's my advice to you. Go find your friends, the girlfriends that you have, and hang out with them in small groups with their boyfriends, some with their boyfriends, some not. And just get used to being around guys. So use your friends as a gateway to help you learn how to navigate dating and.

[Susan]

Or maybe do a road trip. A trip? Like sign up 21. So it's a group thing. Maybe it's singles, maybe not. But you have people chaperone, if you will, a tour guide and get out into the world.

[Kathy]

I love you.

[Susan]

You just told.

[Kathy]

You know what you just told her? You just told her. Listen, we're not going to start with lessons on how to float or kick your legs. We're going to take you up on the 20 meter board and have you do a dive.

[Susan]

That is not going on the 20 meeting board. You're going on a tour with a group of people that you can't talk.

[Kathy]

To guys on the Internet. You think she's gonna get out and take a trip? I think you've lost your mind. Really?

[Susan]

No, it's a great way to meet people.

[Kathy]

I'm not disagreeing.

[Susan]

It's a great way. You're on your own, yet you still have the security of being in a group.

[Kathy]

She doesn't know anyone. The girl is.

[Susan]

Nobody does when you go on a group trip.

[Kathy]

Oh, okay. You know what I mean. Bachelor Nation. You gotta write in on this one. I think she's gotta take baby steps. And the baby step is not going off to, you know, Ethiopia.

[Susan]

Don't say it's not. That's your opinion. That's only your opinion. It's not a definite not.

[Kathy]

Well, Hailey, I'm on your team and I think. Sweet girl, I get it. I'm not shy. Susan's not shy. In case you didn't notice, neither one of us is shy. But I think you gotta take a little step with your friends. Go out and just try to be a little more talkative. Take a baby step towards. It's hard, but it's only hard, Hayley, until you get out and try it.

[Susan]

And you say, Haley, that you don't get out that much. Regardless whether it's with your friends or by yourself. Your first goal is to get out a little bit more.

[Kathy]

That's right.

[Susan]

Whether it's go to church or go to. Go to, like you were saying, an activity or join some kind of a club.

[Kathy]

Yeah, but don't jump off a 20 meter board.

[Susan]

Go on a trip.

[Kathy]

But I do think.

[Susan]

Just call me, I'll.

[Kathy]

Susan will go with you. I'm saying. Let me just say when you. When you ask, Haley, real quickly before we move on, how should I get out more? You know how you do it, Hailey. You do it. And you'll be scared, but it'll get easier, that's how.

[Susan]

You might not even be fun the first time. Well, you know.

[Kathy]

Good. Let's be a little more positive. Maybe she'll.

[Susan]

I don't want her to give up after trying once. It'll get better every time and you'll get a little more confidence in yourself.

[Kathy]

And let us know, Hayley, we'll want to hear about this. We hope you get out.

[Susan]

I want to hold her hand, Kathy, like, well.

[Kathy]

And we're a big fan of you, Haley. 21 is tough. Give yourself some grace, girlfriend. It's going to get easier. Just take it a step at a time.

[Susan]

And thanks for reaching out to us.

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[Kathy]

Okay, let's move on. Anonymous writes hi ladies. I need to know if I'm overreacting or just some thoughts in general. I work with this guy for context. I'm 26 and he's 24. I work mornings and he works nights. We usually see each other for barely an hour. We banter all the time but just shoot the shit at work. We hit it off great, but it's just flirty banter in my opinion. I kept stating in general that I just wanted friends to go out with and hang with because I moved here last year and don't know many people. He eventually gave me his number like two weeks later and we started texting. He made it known that he was attracted to me and that he wanted to hang out this upcoming week. We ended up texting nonstop for like four days straight, but he just kept Coming off as flirty, and I wasn't giving in to any of it. Strictly giving friendship vibes on my end. I thought, oh, let's keep an open mind. But it just seemed like the more we texted, he kept making it known he was super into me. I figured the night out would be a quote date to him. It didn't end up happening. He started making it seem sexual and like, he just wanted to bang. And so I made it clear I just wanted to be friends and I'm not looking for anything serious. He then said, oh, so it seems like we're on the same page, and said, let's just take it day by day and see what happens. Meaning if we hang and it happens, then so be it. I feel played. I feel like an object. I made this all clear and said, I don't think we should be friends anymore because I thought he genuinely wanted to be friends. He ended up apologizing and saying he was high all night and wanted to be friends and was like, 80% joking. I feel icky. We were vibing so well. You were sorry, that was editorializing, and I was excited for the friendship. Am I being dramatic? We see each other at work and he tries to talk to me and text me occasionally, but I'm a bit uncomfortable and bummed. I know it was just him making comments and nothing more. So am I in the wrong? But at the same time, it made me feel super weird and like he wasn't coming with good intentions. It just felt like zero to a hundred. What do you think, Susan?

[Susan]

I have mixed feelings. Each paragraph I thought another way. In the beginning, it was. Some people might call it flirting, but it was just banter. And when a man notices that a woman's giving him attention, that's a normal process. And then you're exchanging numbers. So I think you were taken back by all the texting and such, but that's. Maybe you should have said it in the very beginning. But then she thought, well, maybe, right? And then he did apologize. He was out of line. He got too carried away and was still willing to just be friends and get to know each other. Because you don't know, sweetheart. You might have liked the guy. Who knows? He came on a little strong. But unfortunately. And you know, I've been accused of the same thing. Like, I'm giving somebody attention. They think I'm flirting with them, and I'm not. I just want to have somebody to laugh with or, you know, so I get what she's saying, but.

[Kathy]

So I'm agreeing with you mostly I agree with you. I think she should have said it up front, but it's like I have.

[Susan]

Nobody to hang out with.

[Kathy]

You know, I'm looking for a friend, but that's okay. And then like you said, she was gonna keep an open mind. Here's where I. Here's where it goes a little off for me. When he started making it sexual. And he then said, so it seems like we're on the same page. And said, let's just take it day by day and see what happens. That was her opportunity to. To say, I just want to be friends. I think she feels played because he was like, hey, maybe it'll turn into sexual. Something sexual that was her.

[Susan]

Or maybe it would turn into something a little more than.

[Kathy]

But she says she feels played. So I'm. I'm seeing a little disconnect here. All you had to say, Anonymous, was you shouldn't feel played. You should have made your intentions very clear. And then. And you didn't. So, you know, he's a guy and we all know guys do what guys do, unfortunately. And, and he did apologize. But here's the thing. When he says he was high all.

[Susan]

Night, it was like a little red flag.

[Kathy]

Yeah, a little. That's a little bit of a flag. But then he says he wanted to be friends and was 80% joking, which, you know, 80%.

[Susan]

What that statement told me was he is interested and he'll back down and let you come to. I think she's being a little bit dramatic, but she's also new to this town, right. She doesn't know many people and that's scary. She's being careful. I get it.

[Kathy]

I'm saying, I think. I don't, you know me, I always like to female power and all that, but Anonymous, I've got to say, you know, I don't care if he's high, I don't care if he's 80% serious. I don't try to put the moves on you. All you had to say was, hey, Johnny, I'm. Slow your roll, slow your roll. I'm in this for a friendship. And if it felt like it was 0 to 100, girlfriend, it's cause you didn't apply the brakes.

[Susan]

Yes. And you initiated the banter like, well, I don't know who initiated, but you did. You looked like you were having fun together. Let's take it outside of work and see if we still have fun. And an idiot for starting to get.

[Kathy]

All that, you know, yeah, whatever. But I don't think you should Feel uncomfortable. Here's where I would take it anonymous. If you are interested in having him as a friend, then I would say to him, hey, let's put all this behind us. You know, we work together. Let's start. I'd love to be your friend. Let's go out and get a cheeseburger or whatever it is that, you know you'd want to do. Give out the friend vibes, you know, talk about friend stuff and see if you can make a friend out of this because you are new to the town and he could become a good friend of yours. So I'm wishing you well. I hope that you make a good friend from him and I also hope that you're more clear with the guys the next time. If you're really only interested in friendship, I mean, I understand, but it's up to us as women to say to a guy if he's put in the moves, always. I don't care at any age, Susan. And you know, I've just been through this with a guy who is very interested in me and I only see him as a friend and I've had to tell him three times and that's on me.

[Susan]

I think that he keeps hoping for.

[Kathy]

More, hoping maybe he can hope, you know what? As, as my ex father in law used to say, you could wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which fills up first.

[Susan]

All right, I'm excited about this next one, Kathy. Before we move on, we actually have an update from one of our listeners. Aren't you so excited?

[Kathy]

I'm so excited. All right.

[Susan]

Okay. So. Hi, ladies. I don't know if you remember that this time last year I reached out for advice because I was so nervous about moving in with my boyfriend. I was so independent and happy living on my own. Well, I'm appreciative of that time I had with myself. It's been a year living with my boyfriend and it's been great. By the way, I am a girl that was asked in the episode, I laughed at the joke you said about me treating this like jail time, AKA moving in with my boyfriend. I think you said that ironically. That episode came out on the day I moved out of my apartment. It's the universe. I listened to it while I got ready to pack up the last of my things and move. It was so special hearing your advice at the time I needed it most. I know I got goosebumps. It's been a wonderful year of growth for our relationship and I think there's an engagement coming soon. I got goosebumps.

[Kathy]

Okay, wait. Can I just interrupt for one second? If you're listening, we just need you to know that Susan's a wedding officiant.

[Susan]

Yes, yes, yes, I'll be there. Anyways, thank you for lightening the mood with my concerns and helping me with my nerves. I still miss my old girl apartment at times, but this has been a wonderful move for me and my boyfriend, and we are finally looking forward to future plans. Thank you, Kathy and Susan. P.S. kathy is a star on Bachelor in Paradise. Love you guys.

[Kathy]

Oh, thank you. Oh, I love this. I love this. This. I don't know about you, Susan. This update has made my day because you and I have so much fun doing this podcast and dishing out advice. And as we always say, we're not psychologists or anything, but we've lived a lot of life. And to get such a fabulous update, I'm so happy.

[Susan]

We don't think. We just do it on air. We talk about these things afterwards. And we always are curious. I wonder whatever happened with. Or I wonder if she hit him with the bat. Or I wonder if.

[Kathy]

No, that was you. Susan, I'm so happy for you. Congratulations. I hope that there is so much. I hope that there is a wedding in your future. Please let us know. And I have to marry them. Yeah. And if Susan comes, I come. We come as a team.

[Susan]

Absolutely. Absolutely.

[Kathy]

All right, we are going to move into. Ready, Susan? We're going to have some girl chat, and we're doing this instead of a game. So this should make you happy. This is. This is sort of like our golden spotlight, only this segment is for women of all ages. Today we're talking all about bodily changes. We'll be giving off some rapid fire advice. Okay, I'm going to start us off with the first prompt.

[Susan]

Okay.

[Kathy]

All right. Most women are taught that your body only changes during puberty. And when you get pregnant, have you seen your body change over the years? Oh, dear God. Do bears shit in the woods?

[Susan]

Come on.

[Kathy]

Do bears shit in the woods? I mean, yeah. How much of. I mean, not how much. What has the biggest change been for you since. Let's call it not puberty. Let's go with menopause.

[Susan]

Oh, my God. Complete change. But what I was gonna say was we change our bodies, everything, every seven years. It's a. No, it's a seven.

[Kathy]

What are we, like snakes shedding our skins? What are you talking about?

[Susan]

No, but we do. Our body chemistry changes. We are constantly changing when it comes to our bodies. We definitely have seen Changes. Some good, some bad, some. You know what I mean? That's life.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Susan]

It's not just that. Puberty. Puberty is big. True. Because your boobs pop out and you're, you know, you get a period and all that. Being a woman, that is. And it's going to change continually.

[Kathy]

I think. Yes, I agree. But I do think for those of you listening, with girls young and daughters who are maybe in their 20s, 30s, 40s, whatever, I don't think there is enough conversation about how much our bodies change after childbearing, years after menopause. And as you say, it keeps changing. But the good news is there are lots of things that we can do to help us feel better. It's not necessarily. I mean, everyone knows you and I did those lower facelifts. That's about making us feel better. But I'm talking about there's things that our bodies. There's things that we can do to make our bodies feel better. And not just exercise. There's supplements. There's all kinds of treatments that you can have. And exercising that will stave off, if you will, the bad parts of getting older. Because aging is not all fun and games.

[Susan]

And the most important part, like you said, and I'm going to elaborate on it, Kathy, is knowing that this is normal. Being educated, like what you started with. Most women are taught that your body changes during puberty and then again when you get pregnant.

[Kathy]

And then it stops. The conversation stops.

[Susan]

Oh, my goodness, you're still growing taller. You're still growing wider or thinner, or. It's just.

[Kathy]

But I. But I think the conversation is. The three biggest things are. Well, birth, of course, but puberty, pregnancy and menopause. And I think so little women, I don't know, feel. I don't feel this way. But I think women feel shame sometimes because, you know, they can't have children anymore. And what? They're not useful anymore. And I mean, I've talked to some women in their instincts.

[Susan]

I didn't either. Waistline went with menopause.

[Kathy]

You know what? I never got a waist. I never got.

[Susan]

That is a body change. I mean, we can't control it. I don't care how much you exercise, your body changes. And it's hormonal. All of this is hormones.

[Kathy]

But I will say, I have to say one thing. A lot of women on my social media, they'll write to me things like, wow, Kathy, you look great. What's your trick? And I'm gonna say it right here. There are no tricks. You know, Susan, I work Out. I lift weights. I power walk.

[Susan]

She walks five miles, five, six miles every day.

[Kathy]

But I take. I do it because it makes me feel better, but it also helps me look better. It keeps my body, my bones. You know, motion is lotion. Right. And so I think some people use menopause as an excuse to sit down the chair and eat ice cream. And their best days are behind them.

[Susan]

After you have a child, the next one saying, like, yes, everything changes. Your hip width changes because the baby. Most babies come through the canal. I mean, it's part of nature.

[Kathy]

Yeah. And you know what advice I have for those women? Be so grateful that you were able to. You and your partner were able to bring this miracle to life. And again, eat well, get rest, work out. Your body's gonna change. It's about being healthy. It's about doing the things that will make you feel good about yourself. You don't want the body. You're 13. So what? It does.

[Susan]

But that's okay. That's what I mean.

[Kathy]

That's right. And the letter C comes after the letter B. That's right. Expect it to change. And some things go back back to normal, some things don't. I mean, I am going to tell you those perky boobs fall down to.

[Susan]

Your waist, your pennies, and have them brought back up. That's all.

[Kathy]

Yeah. Well, I was going to say deflated balloons, but, you know, they still get the job done. You know, I've never had a man turn away from me because my boobs were not, you know, coming out of my neck. So that's my. Kathy.

[Susan]

What are some unexpected changes that you noticed at any age, like how you carry your weight or did anything happen that felt out of the blue? Like you. You shared with us that when you were young, you were heavier.

[Kathy]

Yes.

[Susan]

And that big change came when you made up your mind and you started. You're walking and you're exercising and you're extremely fit. But that came out of the blue, right?

[Kathy]

What came out of the blue?

[Susan]

You made up your mind, I am not going to be £200.

[Kathy]

Yes. Well, it didn't come out. Yes, it sort of came out of the blue, but, yes, it came out of the blue in that I made a choice.

[Susan]

You made a choice.

[Kathy]

I think unexpected changes are just the ones you don't know about. Like, you know, all women know this dryness during sex. I mean, that, you know, that was unexpected. I didn't think it was gonna happen quite as quickly as it did. But again, there's lots of things you can do for that.

[Susan]

There's ways around it.

[Kathy]

There's ways around it. So, I don't know, unexpected. I think it's. Everyone's responsible for educating themselves, don't you? And so if you're feeling these changes, I think sometimes depression, women feel depressed.

[Susan]

Or that, well, that comes out of the blue sometimes too.

[Kathy]

Right. The best days of their body.

[Susan]

That's your chemistry and you know, the serotonin and so on. Like. Yeah.

[Kathy]

And I think, I mean, it didn't really happen for me, but I already know I'm a weirdo. I don't feel like my best days are behind me. I feel like there's great days ahead of me. I'm living great days. I've lived great days. I think that is something that women. I wish more women would be motivated to do what it takes to feel better about themselves. Does that make sense?

[Susan]

This is a perfect question for you. What advice would you give to young women struggling with their body image, especially in today's world filled with Ozempic and AI?

[Kathy]

Well, again, my advice is what I just said. First of all, most of the pictures you see on social media, everything's airbrushed. They've done everything they can to reconstitute a picture to make that person look like Barbie. And that's not reality.

[Susan]

But what advice are you going to tell these people?

[Kathy]

My advice is don't pay attention to what you see on social media. As far as Ozempic and those things, if you need Ozempic, I'm a purist. If you need Ozempic, I think it's for treat diabetes, right?

[Susan]

Yes. My sisters are both on it. And you know, my sister lost 45 pounds, but she's no longer a diabetic. And she said to the doctor, are you going to take me off now? He said, no, that's what's keeping you from being it. So it does help some.

[Kathy]

So, but here's the thing. The question was women struggling with their body image. I have a problem and I guess Ozempic is never gonna come to me and offer me a brand deal. But I don't subscribe to women using drugs off label that have not been studied enough. I agree, the studies are now coming out that not such a good thing. So I feel like the advice is eat healthy, work out, don't look for a quick fix for your body.

[Susan]

I have to call you out on something, girlfriend, and it's because I love you and I tell you this often.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Susan]

You still struggle with body image.

[Kathy]

I know I do. What's your point?

[Susan]

What you're giving advice out. You need to follow your own advice. Absolutely amazing. And I'm not going to say for your age you look amazing. If anything, you're too skinny skinny. But you pick out the flaws. We're here to give advice for people struggling like you.

[Kathy]

Yes. My advice, what would you tell them? The advice is try. I try to be kind to myself. I have body dysmorphia. You and I talk about this. So I'm saying be kind to yourself. I try to look in the mirror and say it's okay, it's okay, Kathy, you look okay. Don't.

[Susan]

And when you put a dress on and you see the picture, how great you look on paradise, you look fabulous in your dresses.

[Kathy]

Doesn't that like help it, it does help, but paradise, that's a tough, that was a really tough one for me. And we've talked about this because you're.

[Susan]

Around 20 and 30 year olds.

[Kathy]

Well, these, these girls look like, I mean they're, I love them all dearly, but I was the only one not in a bikini. Well, some of the Goldens were not but you know, body image is a real thing. I, and I think it's honestly Susan wars worse for younger people because they're so invested in AI and social media and what I want them to know is that's not real. So I do the best I can. I work out, I eat well, I try to tell myself and that's, I try to self talk and that would be my advice.

[Susan]

You know also we've come a long way since everybody looked like Twiggy when I grew up and now they're full body models and, and way bigger.

[Kathy]

No, they call them curvy. Call them curvy. That's the label now. Curvy.

[Susan]

Well, I don't care what the label is but it's okay to be a bigger or thicker or you know, full bodied. It's okay. Today.

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[Kathy]

I want beauty standards to be reflecting what women really look like in real life. But it does not negate the fact. It does not negate the fact that I want all women, men, children, everyone to eat healthy and exercise. And the goal should not be to be skinny as a rail so you fit into your size twos, whatever. The goal should be to feel good, to look healthy, to have energy, to be able to move your body in a healthy way. So I know I sound like a preacher here, but I wish beauty standards. I don't want eating healthy.

[Susan]

I do that. But I also eat unhealthy.

[Kathy]

So do I. Everyone does. Everyone does. But I'm saying it's, it's, it's like everything in life. Moderation. And I don't like seeing people using.

[Susan]

The Ozempic just for a quick fix.

[Kathy]

Yes, you know what? It's not going to work.

[Susan]

But it has helped so many people. So I'M not knocking it.

[Kathy]

No, no, no. Ozempic is a life changer for people with diabetes. It's wonderful and it's a life changer for people apparently who are overweight. But I would like to see the world work at being better and not.

[Susan]

Judge people because of what they look like. I mean, that's an old do you.

[Kathy]

Think that's ever gonna happen?

[Susan]

I hope so. But you know what? We're out of time. And that does it for today's episode of Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour.

[Kathy]

Well, thank you all so much for joining us. Be sure to follow Bachelor Happy Hour as we do have new episodes coming out every week and you don't wanna miss even one.

[Susan]

That's right. Make sure you submit your questions to us and your comments and we love the feedback afterwards. And that was a year ago. That was so awesome.

[Kathy]

Congrats.

[Susan]

You can go to bachelornation.com goldenhour or you can hit us up on social.

[Kathy]

Media Bachelor Happy Hour Listen to Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Until next time, have a great week.

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[Kathy]

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[Susan]

Is an iHeart podcast.