Jess & Spencer Part 2: Pickle Traditions and Dishing Advice | Golden Hour

Summary

Bachelor Happy Hour: Jess & Spencer, Part 2 — Pickle Traditions & Dishing Advice

Podcast: Bachelor Happy Hour by iHeartPodcasts and Warner Bros
Date: February 27, 2026
Hosts: Charity Lawson, Rachel Recchia
Guests: Jess, Spencer, Malcolm Glabel, Susan
Episode Focus: Exploring holiday and relationship traditions, advice for love and dating, and embracing personal well-being.

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Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and lively installment, Bachelor Happy Hour hosts continue the conversation with Jess and Spencer in “Part 2.” The discussion journeys through family traditions (with a hilarious focus on the “pickle present”), balancing relationships, and handling modern dating anxieties. Listeners are treated to honest, funny, and advice-filled stories from the Bachelor Nation favorites, along with Q&A sessions addressing love, self-care, and the importance of not settling. The tone throughout is candid, supportive, and full of laughter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Holiday Traditions and Family Stories

• Visiting the Biltmore & Split Holidays

  • Jess shares how she and Spencer mixed family traditions by visiting the Biltmore Estate, incorporating her mother’s love for beautiful homes into their holiday celebrations.
    • Jess: "Me and my mom would walk neighborhoods and just look at houses sometimes." (04:09)
  • Their Christmas was a marathon of travel between Tennessee and Dallas, connecting with both families and creating new memories.
    • Jess: "Did Christmas Eve in Tennessee. Christmas Day, we drove back to Dallas. My brothers flew in and we had the rest of our Christmas Part 2 here in Dallas." (04:38)

• The Pickle Present: A Quirky Family Tradition

  • Spencer introduces the “German Pickle Ornament” tradition, where the person who finds the hidden pickle ornament gets a special present.
    • Spencer: “We started doing this tradition where you have a pickle ornament and you hide it in the tree. And…whoever finds the pickle gets the pickle present.” (05:20)
  • Jess jokes that, with her siblings, this would have led to “bloodshed.”
    • Jess: "If we had done that in my family, there would be bloodshed." (05:42)
  • They both look forward to carrying this playful tradition into their future family.

2. Defining & Maintaining Traditions

• The couple discusses merging and creating new traditions — like the pickle present and possibly bringing Spencer’s mother to the Biltmore or Tennessee’s Apple Festival.
  • Spencer: “She wants to come to Tennessee so bad… we have this thing in the fall, the Apple Festival.” (06:31)
• Wine tastings, family expeditions, and future plans for joint festivities come up playfully, with invitations extended to hosts.
  • Jess: “Why don’t you come with next time?” (07:24)

3. Advice for Relationship Balance & Self-Discovery

• Listener Scenario: Navigating Marriage, Parenting, and a PhD

  • Malcolm presents the dilemma of "Ashley," a young mother, academic, and wife struggling to find balance.
  • Jess: “I think it's just showing support and over-communicating what you need from your partner.” (10:45)
  • Spencer: “Retain something that's for you… I think having something for yourself because if you don't give to yourself, it's tough to give to a relationship.” (11:12-11:45)
  • Susan: “To have some alone time, absolutely critical. It has to be find yourself time.” (11:52)

• Self-Care and Realistic Expectations

  • Emphasis is placed on not striving for perfection — in parenting or partnership.
    • Malcolm: “You’re not going to do everything perfectly… Some days you only have 70% to give and you gotta divide it up. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” (19:38)
  • The circle discusses the importance of supporting one another, not settling for one-sided care, and intentionally carving out me-time even in chaos.
    • Jess: “If I don't get my gym time, I'm not fun to be around.” (21:04)

4. Candid Dating & Relationship Advice

• Advice for Single Women: Don’t Settle

  • Spencer relates her own experience with less-than-ideal partners before meeting Jess, highlighting the significance of real attentiveness.
    • Spencer: “These were not big asks...I almost felt awkward… I've never had someone actually care so much about all these little intricate things.” (24:49-25:32)
    • Spencer: “If you have to bring up these things multiple times and you're seeing no effort…they don't care.” (26:50)
    • Susan: “If something doesn’t feel right, it isn’t right. It’s not going to get better.” (26:39)

• Modern Dating: Apps vs. Real Life

  • Both guests are skeptical yet understanding of dating apps, focusing instead on meeting people in-person through real interests or communities.
    • Jess: “I do think that people don’t socially interact…enough in modern day dating…adding a phone is adding another layer of disconnect between people.” (28:22)
    • Jess: “Find a community through something that you’re passionate about.” (31:04)
  • Spencer reveals her own boldness: “You would walk up to men and—Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.” (29:48)

5. Building Community & Friendship

• The group discusses the necessity of finding friends via shared interests, like fitness, book clubs, church groups, or local events.
  • Jess: “Go to the farmer’s market, go to a book club…find something you’re passionate about and find a community.” (31:04)
• Jess is praised as someone who “lights up a room” (32:04)

6. Reflections on Regret & Looking Back

• Malcolm and Susan share what they wish they'd done more — less striving for perfection, more enjoyment of everyday moments, especially with family.
  • Malcolm: “I wish I had spent more time just enjoying my kids and the small moments.” (44:12)
  • Susan: “A moment that I was having so much fun, I wish I could do it longer…bonding with you girls.” (44:55)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Traditions:

  • “If we had done that in my family, there would be bloodshed.” – Jess (05:42)
  • “We started doing this tradition where you have a pickle ornament and you hide it in the tree. And…whoever finds the pickle gets the pickle present.” – Spencer (05:20)

• On Self-Care in Relationships:

  • “Retain something that’s for you…if you don’t give to yourself, it’s tough to give to a relationship, anybody else.” – Spencer (11:12-11:45)
  • “Let the laundry go, spend time with your partner…those are things you don’t get back in time.” – Malcolm Glabel (20:09)

• On Not Settling:

  • “If something doesn’t feel right, it isn’t right. It’s not going to get better.” – Susan (26:39)
  • “If you have to bring up these things multiple times and you're seeing no effort…they don't care.” – Spencer (26:50)

• On Modern Dating:

  • “I do think that people don’t socially interact…enough in modern dating. Adding a phone is adding another layer of disconnect.” – Jess (28:22)

• On Community:

  • “Find something you’re passionate about and find a community…and get to meet people.” – Jess (31:04)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Holiday Tradition Stories & Traveling for Family — 03:50 to 07:26
• Pickle Present Explanation & Laughter — 05:14 to 06:25
• Advice for Relationship Balance (Ashley’s Story) — 09:36 to 13:50
• Self-Care Discussion — 11:49 to 13:50
• Advice for Single Women: Not Settling — 24:44 to 26:59
• Modern Dating — Apps vs Community — 27:18 to 32:11
• Memorable Regrets & Looking Back — 43:15 to 44:55

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Final Thoughts

This episode radiates warmth, humor, and honest relationship wisdom. Jess and Spencer, with the hosts and guests, offer heartfelt reflections on blending traditions, prioritizing self-care, navigating the ups and downs of relationships, and bravely facing the dating world. Whether you’re single, partnered, or somewhere in-between, the encouragement to communicate, retain one’s individuality, and look for joy in the everyday is relatable and inspiring.

Tune in for:

• Endearing family traditions (and pickle ornaments!)
• Down-to-earth dating advice
• Relatable laughs about food shopping, capers, and “almond moms”
• Encouragement to find community, not settle, and make time for yourself

“Don’t settle. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t make excuses—move on.” – Take it from Bachelor Happy Hour’s Jess & Spencer.

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Transcript

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[Malcolm Glabel]

Hello, Malcolm Glabel here.

[Jess]

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[Malcolm Glabel]

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[Jess]

The ways that it can be used,

[Malcolm Glabel]

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[Jess]

Smash those pain points and help you deliver very specific outcomes.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Hi, everyone, and welcome back to Golden Hour. We're here for part two with Jess and Spencer. Let's get into it.

[Susan]

How about the holidays? Did you get to spend those together?

[Malcolm Glabel]

We did.

[Spencer]

We did, yeah. Yeah. It was amazing.

[Jess]

We actually. A family tradition of hers is going to the Biltmore. That's awesome.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Susan]

Yeah.

[Malcolm Glabel]

It's beautiful.

[Jess]

Beautiful. Yeah. So I.

[Susan]

You're like, so sign me up for next year.

[Jess]

I'm like, I love houses and real estate. Like, me and my mom would walk neighborhoods and just look at houses sometimes.

[Spencer]

I'm like, you're gonna love this one.

[Jess]

So it was really fun. So we got to do this Eve and we actually drove from Dallas to Tennessee. Stayed for about nine days. Was it? Yeah, nine days. Did Christmas Eve in Tennessee. Christmas Eve was a day that we drove.

[Spencer]

Christmas Day.

[Jess]

It was Christmas Day. We drove back to Dallas. All my family was here. My brothers flew in and we had the rest of our Christmas Part 2 here in Dallas.

[Spencer]

And we did that giving in Salt Lake with his dad and brothers.

[Malcolm Glabel]

So what's. What traditions do you guys. I mean, that sounds like great tradition or a great holiday this year. What traditions do you guys want to start? Have you started any yet?

[Jess]

Can I go?

[Spencer]

Yeah, go ahead. I love it.

[Jess]

My family does not have a ton of traditions. One tradition that her family has. Would you like to tell them about the pickle present?

[Spencer]

Oh, that's funny. It's actually a German tradition.

[Malcolm Glabel]

I'm.

[Jess]

I don't know how they got.

[Spencer]

And so we started doing this tradition where you have a pickle ornament and you hide it in the tree. And what it's supposed to be like, whoever finds the pickle gets the pickle present. But, like, I'm an only child, so

[Susan]

I always found a pickle. What was your.

[Jess]

The best present the best present.

[Spencer]

The best present. So, I mean, I always got it.

[Jess]

If we had done that in my family, there would be bloodshed.

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Susan]

Yes.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Yeah.

[Spencer]

That's definitely something that we're gonna do for, I guess for each other when we have kids one day.

[Jess]

A little people present.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Hold on, wait. Let me explain something to you. You can't give each other pickle presents. When you have children, your children have to have.

[Spencer]

No, no.

[Malcolm Glabel]

And then they're going there and then Spencer's right. There's gonna be bloodshed. Yeah.

[Jess]

I just like the pickle present tradition. That's one that I like. I like that for a whole lot. And we didn't have a ton of traditions, so I'm just like globbing on to all of her. Yes, now you have mine. So now you have one.

[Susan]

Maybe you can bring your mom suspense to the Biltmore.

[Jess]

That's. She would love.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Spencer]

She wants to come to Tennessee so bad. She is.

[Podcast Host]

My.

[Spencer]

The town that I'm from is so small and like, I've shown her pictures and we have this thing in the fall, the first weekend in October every year called the Apple Festival. And so his mom really wants to go to the Apple Festival this year. Unfortunately, it's literally the weekend before the Chicago Marathon, so I'm not sure if we're going to make it.

[Jess]

But Ms. Napple Festival, maybe she'll just

[Spencer]

go and she can go make it

[Susan]

up to her with the Biltmore.

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Wait, I don't understand. When you went to the Biltmore, you don't stay there, right?

[Spencer]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Jess]

Although they do have like.

[Susan]

Yeah, they have a sp.

[Jess]

On. On site and stuff. It's like a whole vineyards. They have their own.

[Susan]

Not in the house.

[Spencer]

Oh, yeah. Me and my mom, we hit up

[Jess]

the winery and I was.

[Spencer]

Dee Dee drove us home. It was.

[Malcolm Glabel]

It sounds like so fun. I want to do it.

[Jess]

Why don't you come with next time?

[Malcolm Glabel]

I thought you'd never ask. Spencer. Thank you. I'll be there.

[Jess]

Wine tasting. You guys have a grand old time and I'll just get everyone back home.

[Susan]

Yeah, that sounds like a plan. And you have to tell me when you're going to Austin because I'll come down.

[Spencer]

Oh, my gosh. We need a plan.

[Susan]

Or over.

[Spencer]

How do I say over?

[Sponsor Voice]

Down.

[Jess]

It's like down and over. It's down and over.

[Malcolm Glabel]

You know, who cares? As long as we all end up in the same place. Exactly.

[Jess]

Right.

[Spencer]

Exactly.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Okay, so now we're going to get into our advice Portion and I recently had something happen and I think you, Spencer and Jess would have a really interesting perspective on it. So you ready to listen and tell us something happen? Yeah, I did. So I was out of town recently and I went into this restaurant and the woman, the maitre d, the hostess, whatever recognized me and she said I love you so much. You're just, I mean she just made me feel like a million bucks. She said I love the advice you give. You give everyone such a positive outlook on life. My daughter is really going through a tough time and I would. And so I said well pull out your phone, I'll, you know, I'll do a quick video for her. And so I did and she goes, would you talk to her on the phone? So, so yep, dialed her up, talked her on the phone and she is about your guys age. She has been married a few years, more than a few years I guess because she has a, I think a two year old child. Her name is Ashley and she's finishing up her PhD in June. And she said to me, I'm really struggling because I'm married, I have a full time career. I, I'm trying to balance life with this toddler and my marriage. And she said I'm struggling, you know, to find myself, to find this balance. And you know, I'd had a couple of drinks at that point. So I'm not exactly sure what I told her, but I'm, I'll tell you what I told her but first I'm curious, what would your advice be to her?

[Spencer]

Oh, you know what, I've been not obviously in that exact scenario, but I think both of us have been in scenarios where we've definitely lost ourselves. And I think that it's just so important for one and like what we've done is like we've had to communicate what we need from each other. I think that's so important to be able to be open and honest with your partner. Like hey, I am feeling really overwhelmed right now. Like I need you to do this, this and this. And I will say Spencer is so good at like trying to find a solution whereas sometimes I am. I will like dwell on like the negativity of the moment. And so I don't know if this is so much advice is just like I'm very grateful to have someone who like will be like hey, we're not gonna do that, we're gonna find a solution. What do you need for me? What can I help? Like literally this happened like a couple days ago. I came in, I Was just like not having a good day. I have some family stuff going on. And he's like, what do you need, baby? Like, what can I help you? He like finished unloading all the groceries. Like it's just like little things like that. And I'm like, oh, thank you. I think it's just showing support and over communicating what you need from your partner.

[Jess]

And I would say, I think it's very important that in whatever relationship you have, you retain something that's for you. Yes, for me that's like going to work out, going to the gym for her. She really likes to paint and do.

[Spencer]

I love a hobby, like a little hobby.

[Jess]

And so it's nice to always have something that's yours. And I think that you know a lot of people, if you're stretched thin on time, if you went on your phone and looked at your screen time for social media, you would find about three, four hours a day there. I think that could be put in something else. Yeah, I think that could be cut down by an hour, hour and a half. And whether it be reading a book, like going to a fitness class, finding a nice little hobby, I think having something for yourself because if you don't give to yourself, it's tough to give to a relationship, anybody else, for sure.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Okay.

[Susan]

We also do ourselves very thin.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Yeah.

[Susan]

And to have some alone time, absolutely critical. It has to be find yourself time.

[Spencer]

Take us an extra long steamy shower with some.

[Susan]

Yes, that's soaking a bubble bath.

[Jess]

The door, you know, that's, it's, it's important. That's some advice I got from my mom when she was talking about dealing with having four sons and a full time job and nothing for herself. So being able to give into yourself a little bit and find the time to make that happen. I think even though you may be hard pressed to find the time, I think there's a way to, to find the time. And sometimes it's easy to rely on the excuse of there's no time, there's no time. Instead of the reality of you have to make the time, you know, which is not easy, kind of.

[Susan]

And you're so fortunate just that he can hear you and you can vent. A lot of couples, the other partner don't like the venting. Yeah. It's all that negativity, they can't handle it. So consider yourself.

[Spencer]

He's helped me be more positive, honestly. Like he really.

[Susan]

I'm all about that too. I tell Kathy every day.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Yeah, no, no, Susan, Susan, there is no such thing. There can be a hurricane coming through her living room. And she's like, yeah, well, you know what? That's not positivity. There's another word for that.

[Jess]

Susan, I feel you. You and I, we're think the best.

[Susan]

The best. My cousin, she's always, no matter what, I'll say something and she'll go, yeah, but I go, oh my God, why did you think of the worst possible scenario?

[Spencer]

Yeah, like, she goes, would you look

[Susan]

through rose colored glasses? As Kathy once said, you can live in Susan's world all you want.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Well, I think positivity is a great thing. I think all of us are positive people.

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[Malcolm Glabel]

First of all, I want to congratulate both of you that you have such insight and such love for each other that you can really think about those things and talk to each other and share your thoughts. It just shows you guys have such a strong relationship. The other thing I told her, and I hope I would give this advice to you guys, too, you're not going to do everything perfectly. You're not going to be perfect for each other. You, your job isn't going to be perfect. Your children will not be perfect. You can't do. You can't give 100% to each thing in your life. Some days you only have 70% to give and you got to divide it up. And that's what I told her, is don't, don't be so hard on yourself. Some days trying to do it all, you just can't do it all. Let the laundry go, spend time with your partner, spend time reading with your children. Those are things you don't get back in time. And you know what? So I think that's great advice.

[Susan]

You're right. You're right. And I never used to do that. I spread myself thin. Always tasking at its best. Now that I'm getting older, it's more difficult.

[Jess]

Yeah.

[Susan]

You know, and you got to be a little selfish for you.

[Spencer]

Yeah, for sure.

[Jess]

Well, if you're selfish, I think you end up. Everyone else ends up reaping the benefits of you feeling better about everything. That you have going on. I know that I don't. If I don't get my gym time, I'm a not.

[Susan]

That's a little crazy.

[Jess]

I'm not fun to be around.

[Spencer]

I'm like go honey.

[Malcolm Glabel]

I know.

[Susan]

Let me tell you, if you go to Austin, bring sneakers, Jess. Because when I get the cats. We're walking the lake now.

[Jess]

The Lady Bird Lake trail.

[Spencer]

So pretty.

[Malcolm Glabel]

So they just. Spencer, when you guys come. Susan's right. She came and I made her walk. She did great. Cuz Susan's not a big walker and I will say she did a great job. But they just finished the trail and I'm going to. I probably. Probably not to tell you. Susan. I believe it's 11 miles now. I'm going to do it. It's. They connect all.

[Jess]

Let's grab a coffee. Let's go on a walk.

[Malcolm Glabel]

I will absolutely.

[Susan]

11 miles. We'll do five. Jess. And then we'll go back and make some.

[Malcolm Glabel]

No, you know what, Spencer? Then go and cook for us and you know, we'll have worked off the calories and we come home and have

[Spencer]

a nice big lunch and me and Susan will be popping some champagne waiting for you.

[Susan]

Some emotions. We might go shopping.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Yeah. Just gonna say if you know Susan, she. They all came. I don't know if you all know this. Nancy and Joan and Susan came to visit me and I wanted to take them on the walk around the lake and I wanted to show them the capitol and I wanted to. To take them up to the restaurant that has a view of like trash.

[Spencer]

Don't you remember? You were sending me voice memos. We were, we were. We were talking.

[Susan]

Every time we went by a structure she goes, look. Did you recognize it?

[Podcast Host]

That's

[Malcolm Glabel]

all they wanted to do, shop. So Spencer, you and I, we're doing it

[Susan]

and they picked a meal. Kathy, no. Can I tell them about food shopping? She's like panicking as I got there first. She's like, I don't cook. I said I got you. I got you. But we have to go food shopping.

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Susan]

This girl is like a fish out of water.

[Malcolm Glabel]

I just. I just think the grocery store is for people who don't have a life.

[Jess]

Do you use a lot of Uber Eats?

[Susan]

She doesn't eat.

[Malcolm Glabel]

I do eat, but I eat very simple things.

[Jess]

Well, that's. That's another way to do it.

[Spencer]

She's an almond mom for sure.

[Malcolm Glabel]

I just eat really simple things. You know, scrambled eggs, piece of toast, a salad and a slice of turkey. I mean I was supposed to make

[Susan]

the chicken at night, and we ended up with all these hors d' oeuvres we had, and we weren't hungry. So she goes, now, you better eat this food. You better make this, because it's going to go bad. I made it for breakfast.

[Malcolm Glabel]

She did. She made me buy one of those things, like, $7 a jar. What are those little things called?

[Susan]

Capers.

[Malcolm Glabel]

What goes on?

[Susan]

Chicken.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Really? You got to spend money on capers? Seriously, I'd rather have a new.

[Jess]

Capers. Do.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Do you buy capers?

[Jess]

You guys, I buy capers from time

[Susan]

to time when certain meal costs.

[Jess]

Yes.

[Susan]

Yes.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Okay, well, fine.

[Susan]

We like to cook.

[Jess]

So after the walk, here's what will happen. I'll go and Susan and I will start cooking.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yes.

[Jess]

I'm on double duty.

[Spencer]

Oh, you're.

[Jess]

I'll just switch you off. You hang out a lot, I can

[Malcolm Glabel]

tell you, Jess, what you're gonna do. I've been growing my hair, and I need you to teach me how to use a curling iron.

[Susan]

I can do that.

[Jess]

Bring your dog.

[Susan]

We'll cook, shower, and then Jessa and I are going shopping. Okay, now we want to get your take on some of our most asked questions. This is the part about dating. Okay, I'll go first. Jess, what advice do you have for single women when it comes to not settling?

[Spencer]

Oh, that's a really good one.

[Susan]

It's a hard one.

[Spencer]

Honestly.

[Podcast Host]

It is.

[Spencer]

Honestly. I'm not gonna lie. I. My picker was off for a while, so I feel like there's definitely been scenarios, like, not every single guy that I've been on dates with or, you know, whatever was horrible. The majority of them were, but not all of them. I think that there was just things that, like, until meeting Spencer, like, I did not realize, like, these were not big asks. Like, these were. I almost felt awkward, like, when he's, like, opening the door for me, and he is, like, asking all these little things about me and my family and, like, just. Just literally caring. Like, I just have never had someone actually care so much about all these little intricate things, things that, like, I feel like I probably haven't even thought up about myself before. And he, like, asked us because he wanted to know. And I don't know. I just think that

[Malcolm Glabel]

you.

[Spencer]

If you're sitting and you're questioning, like, moments like, oh, well, I guess it's because this, that, and the other I.

[Susan]

Excuses.

[Spencer]

This is. Yes. When you find yourself making those excuses, it's like, no, no, you shouldn't have to make excuses for anyone. Of Course, like, everyone has their bad days and like, like we said earlier, like, no one's perfect. There's always going to be things. But I think the huge thing is, like, is your partner being understanding? Is the person you're dating being understanding? Like, if you're having a moment, are like, oh, well, okay, good luck on me tomorrow.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Spencer]

Or are they, like, trying to find ways to support you? Like, that was one thing that. Yeah, I was not used to that. And I was like, wow. Oh, there's people that do that.

[Malcolm Glabel]

I love it.

[Susan]

All right, so what you're saying, you're telling women dating, if something doesn't feel right, it isn't right. It's not going to get better.

[Spencer]

100.

[Susan]

Don't settle. Yeah.

[Spencer]

It's like if you have to bring up these things multiple times and you're seeing no effort in them trying to make it better than, like, they're. That's your.

[Podcast Host]

They don't.

[Malcolm Glabel]

That's your. Yeah, they're not.

[Spencer]

They don't care.

[Susan]

It's like you and I going on a date and they never asked you one thing about you. They talk about themselves. It's like, when is this going to be?

[Malcolm Glabel]

Yeah. You have no idea. We're gonna do. You'll have to tune in. Susan and I are going to do a whole episode on dating apps. You. It's a nightmare.

[Spencer]

Oh, my God. I can write a book.

[Malcolm Glabel]

But. But I have two questions. One. Well, I might as well ask the dating app question first. Do you think it's even possible to meet someone on a dating app?

[Spencer]

Did you. You did dating.

[Jess]

Did you do dating apps for a couple weeks?

[Susan]

Just a couple weeks?

[Jess]

Yeah. It didn't pan out. Well, it depends on the type of person that you are. You know, people give and receive love in different ways and people need different things from relationships. Like, I'm a big quality time person, so I need that face to face interaction. There are words of affirmation, people that just want to be told good things about themselves and makes them feel great. I think it just depends. I do think that people don't socially interact with people enough in modern day dating. I think that you used to meet

[Susan]

somebody when you were out.

[Jess]

Now I think adding a phone is adding another layer of disconnect between people. And I think it's really easy to have back and forth of two or three messages and write someone off completely.

[Susan]

Yeah.

[Jess]

Or have a few messages and think they're the best thing ever and then you have zero context on who they actually are as a person. So I think if it's done intently, it's possible. But I. Every one that I had ever, like, gone on a date with or anything have been people that I've met in person. And I know lucky with us, it was so nice. I mean, that was the biggest thing I think we can thank paradise for was giving us where we didn't have any outside influences and it was just us being able to spend time together, get to know each other with literally zero other stress besides some of the challenges and games.

[Spencer]

But actually, I actually have more to say on that too, actually. But I. I agree to most of your points. I feel like, yeah, honestly, any of the successful dates that I had before Spencer, I feel like it was honestly me putting myself out there and being like, hey, I think that you're attractive. Like, are you single? And it's either you.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Sorry. You would walk up to men and oh, yeah.

[Spencer]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Oh, yeah. Susan, I am doomed to be single.

[Susan]

Would I ever ask someone out on a date?

[Malcolm Glabel]

I said, of course, I am very outgoing, but I will not go up to a guy and say, hey, are you single? I think find you. No, that's never happened. Keep talking, Jess, keep talking.

[Spencer]

But also, I feel like. I don't know, I feel like dating apps, it can, like, there's people that are. Are introverts and they're just not comfortable with going up to someone like that because, like, getting shut down in person is way harder getting shut down over your phone. So I do think that there can. There can definitely be success stories over the dating app. I think it really just depends on,

[Jess]

like you said, individual.

[Spencer]

The individual and who you are as a person.

[Jess]

Although I don't think you should just rely on one channel of right. Finding someone, like, right. Still make an effort to, like, go out to event or fitness class or farmer's market, whatever. Or like, honestly, like, meet people through friends, church or I don't know. Yeah, yeah.

[Susan]

What about people that are struggling to put themselves out there? What advice would you give them? Both.

[Jess]

I would find a community through something that you're passionate about. So I actually met my best friends here through a church event that we went to. I know that I've met a lot of other friends through, like, fitness classes. There's run clubs, there's Pilates classes, there's yoga. There's like, all these things to do. Go to the farmer's market, go to a book club. I know that there's book clubs and stuff like that for people that enjoy reading. I would just find something you're passionate about and find a community that's also passionate about it and get to meet people.

[Spencer]

And yeah, when you at least one thing that connects you then like that's already like you're. You're passionate about it. So it's going to be easy to talk about. And then from there she would be

[Jess]

expert right now because she's like finding new friends and everything because obviously all my friends at Pilates class love her, which is awesome. But I do think it'd be really nice for her to be able to have like her own girlfriends that.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Yes, you are such a breath. You are one of those people that you light up a room when you walk in.

[Spencer]

You are not so sweet.

[Malcolm Glabel]

No, I'm honest. You are not going to have 10 seconds of alone time. You're gonna have so many friends demanding your time.

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[Jess]

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[Spencer]

I'm not, I haven't put myself out there that much like meet girls here in Dallas yet just because like honestly I've been focused on getting all of our stuff settled and there's also just like so many things that we still haven't gotten to do together here. I'm like, I will. And like I have been trying new fitness classes and things like that, going to events and stuff. But when I'm working out, like I'm one of those people that I'm like, I want to work out and not be talked to.

[Susan]

Like, yeah, privacy. Does everybody recognize you when you go?

[Spencer]

Yeah. But I feel like people are like super respectful. Like they'll either. I like, I love when people are just like, oh my gosh, I watch you. It's so awesome to like see you out here in Dallas and then like go on and go about your day. And then some people like I can, I can tell that like they, they notice but like they don't say anything.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Yeah.

[Spencer]

And it's almost like awkward because I they'll be like, you look so familiar. And I never want to assume that it's because they watch the show. I'm like,

[Jess]

I just tell people I have a really familiar looking face.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Yeah.

[Spencer]

Because I never want like I just feel like I'm never gonna be like, oh that's so. I Just. Yeah, no, that's all right.

[Malcolm Glabel]

We gotta wrap here quickly. But we. Susan, you've got to answer a question all day.

[Jess]

Let's take this off air. Susan, hold on.

[Malcolm Glabel]

There's one more question. Susan, you always ask it. What is the question you always ask our guests?

[Susan]

Okay, before we go, do either of you have any questions for us? Oh.

[Spencer]

Oh, my gosh, I wish I would have.

[Susan]

Look at the surprise.

[Jess]

I think we need a little bit more time. Podcast. Because we do.

[Susan]

I think we need a part two. Definitely part three. Part three.

[Spencer]

Well, what you. Do you have something?

[Jess]

You go first.

[Spencer]

Okay. Well, yeah, Susan, you're. You're dating someone.

[Susan]

Yeah.

[Spencer]

Okay, so part of my question is I want to know how y' all met. And then, Kathy, I need to update on what you've been up.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Well, why don't I go first? Because my update is very short.

[Jess]

Oh, no. I hate a short update from you right now.

[Spencer]

Oh, no, really?

[Malcolm Glabel]

Yeah. Kathy was with me, actually, so, yeah, so. But I'm open. I'm gonna. I'm gonna go out to the gym, the library, the music venues. I'm gonna just do it all. Spencer and Jess told me I would meet the man of my dreams if I went to these things.

[Susan]

That's what I sign.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Yeah, I would love to be dating, but right now. No, I just, you know, I mean, I, I, I. We don't have time today.

[Susan]

Doesn't settle.

[Malcolm Glabel]

I don't settle that at all.

[Spencer]

Don't, don't.

[Malcolm Glabel]

I don't. So for me. Okay, now, Susan, on to you. Because my story was short.

[Susan]

Well, thank God Kathy had a little bit of French, because when I met him, Kathy and I were on vacation in St. Martin, and.

[Jess]

No way.

[Susan]

So I had an espresso martini after dinner one night. We came back and we chit chat, girl talk, washed our face, all that. We go to bed. She goes up. I go to my bed, and I'm wide awake. I'm playing games on my iPad. And I was bored. I got great. I can't sleep.

[Jess]

Play games on your iPad, too.

[Susan]

I do. And I downloaded Tinder.

[Spencer]

Stop.

[Susan]

First person I saw. But then I didn't go back and check for three days. It was just a moment thing. And when I finally did, it was like, what? Kathy had to speak for me because.

[Malcolm Glabel]

So, yeah, so I met a guy. Guy. We're going to meet him tonight. I said, I'm not meeting anybody. What, are you out of your mind? And so she goes, he doesn't speak English. I went, you got to be kidding Me. So fast forward. We walk over to the bar. He literally does not speak English. Susan does not speak a word of French. And I speak enough to do, you know, a little mediate. Yeah, yeah, that's Spanish. So I introduced them in French, and then I said, I'm out of here. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no. And they're. They got their phones out and they're translating.

[Susan]

Well, that was he. When he asked me out, he said, three questions for you. I said, yes. Number one, do you like to dance? Number two, do you have earpods? And number three, I hope your French is better than my English. I said, two yeses and one no.

[Jess]

Oh, my.

[Susan]

So when she left, we had them in our ears. We were there for, like, three hours. And at one point, I said, said, you know, where I come from, when I go meet somebody or a date or whatever this is, I usually make eye contact. I can't even tell you what color your eyes are, because I'm looking at this.

[Malcolm Glabel]

So. So that. This is why we have to wrap this episode, because I have my bags packed with my computer, my phone, and my earbuds.

[Spencer]

Oh, my God. We're just gonna translate such a fun story, though. So has your French gotten better or has his English gotten better?

[Jess]

A little bit. Hey, baby steps. I guess my question would be, if you could go back in time and spend more time doing any one thing, whether that be spending time on a hobby, spending time with family, like, whatever, what would you have prioritized?

[Sponsor Voice]

Question, Baby.

[Malcolm Glabel]

At what age? I mean, when you say go back, go back to what age?

[Jess]

Go, go back anytime. Like at any time past the age of 30, let's say. That's more applicable to myself. And I'm selfish sometimes.

[Malcolm Glabel]

I got the easy answer. Do you have an answer, Susan?

[Susan]

Go ahead. You go first.

[Malcolm Glabel]

No, if you have it, go.

[Susan]

No, I've got 10 different ones.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Well, the one that. So do I. The one that jumped out at me was exactly what I told Ashley. I. I wish that I had not been such a quote, unquote, perfect parent. My kids practice piano an hour a day. My kids did all their homework. They were in book clubs and they read books in the summer. I was so much about them achieving.

[Jess]

We didn't.

[Malcolm Glabel]

I mean, I love my kids and

[Susan]

they're wonderful, but I think that's what he's asking. He's asking something that you.

[Malcolm Glabel]

That I wish I spent more time. Oh, I thought what you said.

[Spencer]

Yeah, no, that's.

[Jess]

No, but that I wish I had

[Malcolm Glabel]

spent more Time just enjoying my kids and the small moments and not worrying so much about what was going to happen to them when they grew up.

[Susan]

Yeah, to me, that sounds like. Like a regret almost. Like what something you would want to do well, and.

[Jess]

But that. That makes sense, though, because it could be something that, like, I look back at things, I'm like, man, I wish I would have spent more time doing this. And it's not as much a regret as it would have been interesting to have.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Yeah, I don't regret. I was a great mom. I wasn't a perfect mom. I'm just saying something I wish I'd done more of is spend more time with them doing silly stuff. You know, we had lots of traditions and stuff, but just fun, silly stuff with my kids.

[Susan]

That's what I took it as something like a moment that I was having so much fun. I wish I could do it longer. And that would have been. Been sharing that bedroom in the mansion and bonding with you girls. That was so fun. I could have done that for a month.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Yeah.

[Spencer]

Yeah, totally.

[Jess]

Those are both good. I can't go back to the mansion and bond in a bed with all the guys, but you and I.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Wait. On that note. No, no, no. We're cutting right there. That.

[Susan]

That does it.

[Malcolm Glabel]

That does it. But literally, for today's episode, we literally could talk to you guys for hours. You are simply the best. I personally adore you both. Thank you so much for coming on.

[Spencer]

We truly have loved having so fun.

[Malcolm Glabel]

We love this.

[Susan]

We're definitely going to do more of this.

[Jess]

And good, good.

[Susan]

Thank you to all listeners. I hope you enjoyed Spencer and Jess as much as we do. Be sure to subscribe because we have new episodes dropping every week with more of your Bachelor Nation favorites.

[Malcolm Glabel]

But maybe not as favorite as Spencer and Jess.

[Susan]

I know they're the best. My favorite couple.

[Sponsor Voice]

All right.

[Spencer]

So sweet, man.

[Jess]

I'll slip you guys the 20 later

[Spencer]

for hyping us up.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Just come back to Austin. Just come back to Austin.

[Jess]

Yeah.

[Malcolm Glabel]

Okay. Well, having said all that, we hope that you all will listen to Bachelor Happy Hours golden hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your podcast. Until next time, have a great week.

[Jess]

This is Julian Edelman from Games With Names.

[Malcolm Glabel]

I want to take a second to

[Jess]

talk about something that's personal to me. I've had the privilege of working closely with Robert Kraft for a long time, and one thing I've always respected is how seriously he takes up standing up to hate. As a Jewish athlete, my identity is something I am proud of, but I also know what it feels like to be singled out for it. That's why this new commercial for the Blue Square Alliance Against Hate that aired during the Big Game really hit home. It's about showing up for someone when they're targeted, even if you don't have the perfect words. And sometimes standing next to someone is enough and you can show support by sharing the Blue Square.

[Malcolm Glabel]

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[Malcolm Glabel]

Check the math@t mobile.com switch and now T mobile is in US cellular

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[Susan]

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[Susan]

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[Susan]

We can't wait to meet you.

[Spencer]

Store hours vary by location.

[Jess]

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[Jess]

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