Kathy & Susan Ask: Are They the One? | Golden Hour

Summary

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Bachelor Happy Hour: Golden Hour

Episode: Kathy & Susan Ask: Are They the One?
Date: June 22, 2026
Hosts: Kathy & Susan
Produced by iHeartPodcasts and Warner Bros

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Episode Overview

In this lively "Golden Hour" episode, Kathy and Susan engage in their trademark blend of humor and honesty as they tackle the age-old question: How do you know if someone is "the one"? The duo catch up on the week's Bachelor Nation buzz, candidly explore their own philosophies and experiences around love, commitment, and red flags, and dish out listener advice on tricky relationships. The episode takes a playful turn with the “Gal Googles It” segment as the hosts break down dating slang—while keeping true to their candid, golden wisdom.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Catching Up & Bachelor Nation News

[04:00–08:51]

• Rainy Adventures: Kathy recounts running a mile and a half through a Houston downpour to attend a World Cup game with her daughter, Caitlin.
  • “Literally ran in full clothes the last mile and a half into the stadium because it was pouring rain.” —Kathy [04:21]
  • Susan jokes she would have called an Uber instead.
• Upcoming Travel: Kathy and Susan are excited to reunite in Jersey and Philly, hinting at collaborative content and “Coffee Time” videos.
• Bachelor Nation Buzz:
  • Mark Anderson & Barbara Lynn Woods Engagement Rumors: Kathy clarifies the rumors started from Barbara’s daughter and not any formal announcement.
    • Kathy observes they might be waiting to let Joey & Kelsey (another Bachelor Nation couple) have their media moment.
    • Quote: “I think they're trying to let them have their moment... and then they're going to fall.” —Kathy [06:15]
  • Golden Bachelor Stars Spotted at Dodgers Game: Hosts speculate the purpose of the gathering.
    • Kathy suspects ulterior motives, guessing the men’s presence in LA is for consideration as the next Bachelor.
    • Quote: “I think they were there to figure out which one of them is going to be the next Bachelor.” —Kathy [07:25]
  • Abigail Herringer’s Honest Take on Kids:
    • Discussing Abigail’s hesitance about starting a family after her marriage and the importance of being emotionally ready.
    • “If you feel like you're mourning the chapter, you might want to rethink having children.” —Kathy [09:13]
    • Both hosts agree: honesty and self-awareness matter more than societal timelines.

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Are They the One?

[11:18–32:06]

• Is There “the One,” or Just a Good Fit?

  • Susan: Always falls hard and fast and believes each love could be "the one."
    • “Every time Susan meets a guy, falls in love, he is the one. There he is. He's the one, until he isn't the one.” —Kathy [11:52]
    • Susan admits, “I think it every single time I’m in love.” [12:51]
  • Kathy: More pragmatic, holds back, believes in chemistry but also realistic compatibility.
    • “When I meet a guy, it's like he's got to earn the place. I might be very attracted to him, but ... I don't jump in. I hold back.” —Kathy [13:46]
  • Both acknowledge that what "the one" means changes with age; emotional connection and shared values increase in importance.

• Chemistry vs. Grown Attraction

  • Question: Is lack of “butterflies” a red flag?
    • Kathy: Being excited and wanting to learn about a new partner is a version of butterflies; it shifts from youthful infatuation.
    • Susan: Still looks for intense, immediate attraction, but admits she could benefit from giving “slow burn” relationships more chances.
  • Notable Moment: Kathy’s “10 days to doubt” rule—if her intuition doubts early, she's usually right [22:39].

• Doubt and Intuition

  • Kathy: Trusts her gut and leaves when doubts are confirmed with evidence (e.g., a partner's lack of support during her illness).
  • Susan: Tends to stay and try to "fix" relationships, despite doubts.
    • “I always try to fix them. I was put here on earth to fix wounded souls...” —Susan [24:10]
  • Both agree: Relationships require both heart and pragmatism, and self-awareness is key.

• Should Partners’ Lives Align?

  • Kathy: Shared interests are wonderful, but core values matter even more; too much similarity would be dull.
  • “You have to have morals in common, values in common. Otherwise... you're going to be parallel lines.” —Kathy [29:54]

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Listener Questions: Advice Segment

[30:12–41:54]

1. Maddie from St. Louis:

• “I've been seeing a guy…he has a very close relationship with his ex… Is this something I need to accept, or is it fair to set boundaries around it?”
  • Susan: Empathizes, as she’s close with her ex-husband (for co-parenting/grandchildren reasons), but sees why it can be tricky.
  • Kathy: If there are no kids involved, maintaining such contact is a red flag.
    • “If his ex is not his ex-wife and they don’t share children, tell him to hit the road.” —Kathy [32:58]
  • Both: Setting boundaries is not insecure; it’s healthy.

2. Kiki from New York:

• “Started dating someone incredibly thoughtful but not feeling the physical attraction. How do I know if it can grow or if I’m leading him on?”
  • Kathy: It depends on age—at 20, lack of attraction probably means it’s not a match; at 60+, chemistry can grow, but time will tell.
  • Susan: Attraction is still very important, but advises giving it a little time.
  • Both: If there’s no spark after a few months, it’s probably not meant to be.

3. Carrie from Louisville, KY:

• “Great chemistry with a new guy but just out of a long-term relationship—am I a rebound?”
  • Both: It depends on behaviors (“in little ways” the ex is mentioned).
  • Kathy: Be upfront, but also be patient—sometimes old patterns take time to fade.
  • Humor: Kathy tells a story about counting how many times a date referenced his deceased wife [43:25].

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Gal Googles It: Dating Slang Explainer

[44:50–50:54]

• “Sneaky Link”: Secret hookup or “booty call.”

  • Both find it unappealing as grown women seeking real connection.
  • “If I'm going to go to bed with somebody, I'm attracted to them. Therefore there's a like involved...” —Susan [46:02]

• “Kitten Fishing”: A less-severe version of catfishing—using slightly misleading or old photos online.

  • Both agree everyone tries to look their best, but outright lies (like using a decades-old photo or adding inches to height) cross a line.
  • Kathy jokes: “If you were looking for a guy and you put up a picture of you five years ago... that’s kitten fishing.” [49:35]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Knowing “the One”:
  • “When someone says that to you and then behaves differently, that's how you know if they're the one or not the one. That's a red flag. Don't listen to what a guy says… just watch what they do.” —Kathy [28:05]
  • “Every time Susan meets a guy, falls in love, he is the one. There he is. He's the one, until he isn't the one.” —Kathy [11:52]
• On Self-Respect and Boundaries:
  • “Setting boundaries is not insecure. Setting boundaries is a very secure person who sets boundaries.” —Kathy [38:55]
• On Moving On:
  • “Never say never. Fast forward six months ago, she met a guy... they're talking about marriage. When you meet the right guy, you just never know.” —Kathy [27:26]
• Fun Banter:
  • “I think my favorite one was the champagne cheddar.” —Repeated food sponsor moment that became a running joke.
  • Bemoaning modern dating: “I'm glad I'm old because I don't kitten fish.” —Susan [49:42]
  • “Meow, meow.” —Kathy's playful sign-off [51:20]

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Important Timestamps

• 04:00 – Kathy & Susan check-in; travel and World Cup chat
• 05:12 – Bachelor Nation relationship rumors breakdown
• 09:13 – Discussion on Abigail Herringer’s candidness about having kids
• 11:18 – Philosophical debate: “the One” vs. “right fit”; love in youth vs. later life
• 22:39 – Kathy’s “10 days to doubt” and trusting intuition
• 24:10 – Susan’s history of staying to “fix” relationships
• 30:12 – Listener Q: Exes and healthy boundaries
• 39:45 – Listener Q: Attraction, when to move on
• 42:03 – Listener Q: Am I the rebound?
• 44:50 – Dating slang: “sneaky link” and “kitten fishing” explained
• 49:35 – Fun on filtering and online photo honesty

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Tone & Style

Candid, lively, and supportive, with healthy doses of wit and real-life wisdom. Kathy and Susan share personal anecdotes, never shy from disagreeing, and deliver relationship advice unfiltered but kindly.

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For New Listeners

This episode of “Golden Hour” offers a heartfelt and humorous take on the uncertainties of modern dating at any age—whether you’re questioning your chemistry, grappling with doubts, or just trying to decode the slang on your dating app. Kathy and Susan’s mix of vulnerability, pragmatism, and playfulness ensure you’ll come away both entertained and a little wiser about love.

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Transcript

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[Kathy]

Welcome back to Golden Hour. I'm Kathy.

[Susan]

And I'm Susan. How you doing Kathy?

[Kathy]

Oh, fabulous. I'm I've been watching World Cup I got to go to see the World cup game over the weekend. It was fabulous. What have you been up to?

[Susan]

Did you get as much rain as we did? Like last night I had to drain my pool today there's so much rain.

[Kathy]

So we so the game was in Houston, but in Austin we've been under a flood warning. But in Houston I was with my daughter Caitlin. Literally we ran literally ran in full clothes the last mile and a half into the stadium because it was pouring rain.

[Susan]

I was thank God you're in shape girlfriend. I would have had to call an Uber.

[Kathy]

That's what Caitlin said. We were running with all these people. We were there on a for A promo for another company. And they're like, can your mother run? And Caitlin said, oh, God. Anyway, so life is good.

[Susan]

So I'm going to get to see you real soon.

[Kathy]

We are.

[Susan]

I'm very excited.

[Kathy]

I'm coming to Jersey and then I'm coming to Philly. And we're going to.

[Susan]

Watch out, people. You know what's going to happen? We're going to have our Coffee Time videos coming up. And we're going to do a podcast together here.

[Kathy]

And Susan's gonna teach me to cook. And if you believe that, you know what that is? The Bachelor Nation news of the week. Susan's going to teach me to cook. But really, we're gonna get to it. Cause there's been a big week. Okay, let's talk about Mark Anderson and Barbara Lynn woods sparking marriage rumors. Find out why the fans are buzzing. They're not sparking rumors. I wanna be clear here. It's Barbara's daughter Natalie, who said, hopefully they're getting married. Everybody picked up on it. Everybody.

[Susan]

You know, like some time ago, I've spoken to Mark and said, is it real? Is it going to happen? There was some fake news out there. And I text him right away, tell me, Mark, I want to be the first to know. He goes, I'm not denying it. But it hasn't happened yet. So when he says the word yet, it is in the future. So.

[Kathy]

Yeah. But I'll bet you, I'm guessing sometime before this Christmas, they will be engaged.

[Susan]

Yeah. Yeah, I think. You know what? They're a perfect little couple, aren't they?

[Kathy]

Yes. I love. I wish I look like she does. I think that they're trying to hold back for Joey and Kelsey. I think they're trying to let them have their moment. Months, year in the sun and then they're going to fall. That's what I think.

[Susan]

That's a good. That's a good thought, actually.

[Kathy]

What else you got? What else do we have here?

[Susan]

Bachelor Nation fanship. Golden bachelor star with one of Taylor Frankie Paul's men.

[Kathy]

Okay, so first of all, I'm not even sure what Chip means when I read that headline. All I know is Carol Freeman, who is from Mel's season of Golden Bachelor

[Susan]

all of the game.

[Kathy]

All. Well, because she is Freddy's Freddie Freeman's aunt and she is his, like, whatever she runs as a personal assistant. Yeah, personal assistant. And. And so they were all in the suite at the Dodgers game and I'm sorry, I'm going out on a limb here. You know why I think they were all there. I don't think they were there to meet Carol. I don't think they were there to watch a Dodgers game. I think they were there to figure out which one of them is going

[Dietz and Watson Advertiser]

to be the next Bachelor.

[Kathy]

I have no insider information, folks.

[Susan]

It's just.

[Kathy]

I really don't.

[Susan]

Well, what would that have to do with being at the game?

[Kathy]

I think it was because I think other things went on where they were in la. We're just not hearing about it. This is just Kathy's world. I have, you know, if you know something, let us know. All I know is I'm not. I can't imagine why all of Taylor's guys would be in LA for a Dodgers game when they all have lives, unless there was potentially something in it for them. What do you think? Do you agree?

[Susan]

I. I kind of agree with that now that you've said it.

[Karen or Georgia]

But.

[Susan]

And, and she is such a do. She's at every game. Of course she's going to be friendly. And of course the tabloids are going to go nuts when she hugs somebody.

[Kathy]

You know, did you see what every.

[Susan]

Every other week I'm getting married. I mean, seriously.

[Kathy]

No, no, no. Did you see what your buddy Hakeem wrote about Carol? He made a joke about Carol dating Matt Freeman and said, you know, why not? I thought that was hysterical. Like, okay, Hakeem. So. All right, so moving on, we've got Abigail Herringer shares Honest timeline for having kids with. No. My body is in whiplash. Okay, what do you think about that? So they met on season seven. They live in Oklahoma. They got married in 2024. She said she wasn't sure about having kids. What do you think of that?

[Susan]

You know what? She does want him eventually, but she wants to enjoy the moment. She wants to enjoy her marriage. She wants to just be with him. They're having a ball. I don't want to use the word ruin it, but when you have. When you bring kids to it, well, it's a whole different ball game. Speaking about baseball.

[Kathy]

Wait, but, Susan, you just said it. It's like, kills the marriage. Whatever you just said. She used the word mourning, where it's just. And I thought. Folks, you know, really, Abigail, here's my thing for you. You know, if you feel like you're mourning the chap, you might want to rethink having children. You know, I get it. She said it feels emotionally weird and she's enjoyed this phase, but they have a plan place you. I'm so on the same page with you. We're on the same strike one, ball one. Keeping that metaphor going there.

[Susan]

Kudos to her for being honest and real about it. So many people, Kathy, I think, think it's time to have children. They have children. They're not ready.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Susan]

If you're not ready today, people are waiting till 40.

[Kathy]

Yeah. I mean, I was desperately ready. I never looked back. I certainly didn't mourn. I had almost eight years alone with my husb. Husband before we had children and. But, you know, that was just circumstances

[Susan]

because you were just wet behind the ears.

[Kathy]

Yeah. I got married very young. We were. He was military, moving around a lot when I was finishing my college degree. There were a lot of reasons, but I do hand it to her for being honest. I give you Abigail. But I would say to you, not that you're asking my opinion, but I would say wait to have kids until you're eating, breathing and sleeping having a child, because, boy, once you have them, you're. As Susan said, your marriage does change. Relationships change, and children have to become a priority. So, I don't know, a whole new ball game.

[Susan]

I can just tell you that.

[Kathy]

I like the metaphor.

[Susan]

Here's the difference, though. When I said you could wait till later, till you're older, Some people choose to do that. Other people do it young. And then you have a life again when you're 60. They're all grown and raised and out of the house.

[Kathy]

But do you still. Do we, though, Susan? We always have.

[Dietz and Watson Advertiser]

Absolutely.

[Susan]

We have our best chapter. You know that.

[Kathy]

But I'm just moving right along. It's not like kids are out of our lives. Let's be honest.

[Susan]

Oh, I'm never out of our lives.

[Kathy]

All right, move on. Let's go.

[Susan]

All right. This one is all about how to know if they're the one, how to really know if they're the one. So let me ask you something.

[Dietz and Watson Advertiser]

Okay.

[Karen or Georgia]

Yes.

[Susan]

Do you believe the one or just a really good fit at the right time?

[Kathy]

So we're talking about finding the right person. And if we know they really. Okay,

[Susan]

wait. Talk about. I think for a second, because I know what you're going to say.

[Kathy]

I'm not saying a word about you. I. I've learned don't let's.

[Susan]

Every one of them's the one.

[Kathy]

Okay, now that she brought it up, I'm going to confirm to Bachelor Nation that every time Susan meets a guy, falls in love, he is the one. There he is. He's the one until he isn't the one. For me, I. When I got married, I Again, I was very young. I believed in the one. I would say now at our age, the one looks different than. Or at least for me, I shouldn't say for you, but, you know, now we don't have to worry about raising kids. We don't have to worry about job schedules and making savings and building homes. All the things that you do when you're, you know, when you're young. I still think, and I know you're going to agree with this, that you want to feel like that emotional connection when you meet. Got the chemistry. But I think you can grow into love when you're older. I think it's just different when you're older.

[Susan]

Not for me. I get that intense feeling right away. And this is the one. I think it every single time I'm in love with. Falling in love, as we all know. Yeah, just a love person. But the question is, if it doesn't feel so intense, does that mean it's not right? Like a slow. That's who I probably should have focused on. That I have not done yet.

[Kathy]

So here's no. But there's hope. Susan, here's the thing. When, when you meet someone, I think when you're young, you know, I mean, back in the days of black and white television, when we were young, I think when you met a guy, it was that chemistry that I can't. I have to, you know, I have to kiss him. I have to be with him. It was that guttural, visceral reaction that you had to see him and talk to him all the time.

[Susan]

But I felt like that with everyone

[Kathy]

that I know, I. I'm a little different. I.

[Susan]

Because you only fell in love with one?

[Kathy]

No, no. I've had a couple of loves in my life. I have. But. But I think like the most recent guy I met, I think. Here's the thing, you know, when I meet a guy, it's like he's got to earn the place. I might be very attracted to him, but unlike you, I don't jump in. I hold back. I still get disappointed if it doesn't work out, but I hold back. I'm so, so, you know, I know that relationships take work. I think when you're younger, you think that you find the one and it's just easy. And the white picket fence and a dog and a cat and two kids and, you know, the whole bit. I think when we're older, we realize that relationships take work. And so maybe a slow burn. If you're attracted to someone, maybe it doesn't have to be that let's just jump into bed kind of feeling. Maybe. Maybe you ought to try that.

[Dietz and Watson Advertiser]

Susan,

[Susan]

are you insinuating I jump in the bed?

[Kathy]

No, no, no. I meant when I. I meant jump into love. Yeah, when you're young.

[Susan]

What? I like the butterflies. And if you don't have the butterfly feeling, would you think that's a red flag or a green flag?

[Kathy]

Well, so I. I mean, I can only talk about my experiences when I meet someone that I like. If, if. If I am relaxed, calm, my sense of humor's there. But I don't feel like I have to put on a show, if you will. If I have that kind of feeling, I get very excited. Butterflies. I think when I've met a guy I'm interested in, I'm so excited to talk with him and find out more about him. That's sort of my butterflies. And so for me, they go hand in hand. If I'm interested in someone, those are my butterflies. So if I'm not interested, it's not a red flag, it's audio. See you later. Goodbye. There's the door.

[Susan]

How would you define butterflies? It's like an exciting feeling, right?

[Kathy]

For me, like when I met the most recent guy who shall go nameless, who is not in my life because it didn't work out after, he's the guy that Susan and Nancy told me. I said, After 10 days, I saw red flags, and Susan, Nancy. We were in Palm Springs, and Susan and Nancy were both giving me a hard time saying, you're so hard. Give them a chance. And what did I say? I called the red flags right there, 10 days in. And who was right two and a half months later? Thank you very much. So what I'm saying is, when I'm attracted to someone, that is a green flag, do I feel butterflies? Like, you know, fluttery? Fluttery, like I'm 16 years old? No, but I'm excited.

[Susan]

Do you ever get that feeling in your adult age?

[Kathy]

I don't know what you mean by butterflies. I get the exciting feeling of, oh, my gosh, I've met a guy that I want to get to know better and spend time with. And if that's butterflies, I think we're just arguing over semantics here. What do butterflies mean to you?

[Susan]

That's butterflies. You just said it. You're excited to see them. You can't wait that feeling.

[Kathy]

So I have a question for you, Susan. I have a question for you. Have you ever, you know, in any of your relationships, current, past, whatever, have you ever stopped and doubted and said, you know, maybe this is not the right one for me. Even though you're attracted, yes, you have.

[Susan]

I definitely have. However, I didn't do anything about it.

[Kathy]

I was just. See, I'm trying not to interrupt, Susan. I. But that's what was in my head. I was gonna say, I know it was.

[Susan]

I know where you're going.

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[Podcast Host 2]

You know, history is full of surprising little details, and laundry, turns out, has its own fascinating story too. Because not all detergents are created equal. Tide Liquid Laundry Detergent isn't just clean, it's boosted clean for cleaner, whiter, brighter and fresher results compared to Tide Simply and those stubborn stains that always seem to show up at the worst times. Tide tackles 100% of common stains for every load every time. Now if grease is your nemesis, think food spills, cooking splatters. Tide's got 10 times grease fighting ingredients compared to the bargain brand. And it works in any machine, in any water condition, on all your machine washable fabrics. So it's no wonder that Tide was America's number one detergent in sales last year. So if it's got to be clean and it's got to be fresh, it's got to be Tide. Shop now at your local retailer. Tide is a proud sponsor of the Elton John Impact Awards, honoring those who have helped shape a more inclusive and compassionate world with their artistry, advocacy and unwavering commitment to equality. You won't want to miss the Elton John Impact Awards podcast, available on June 1st on the iHeartRadio app and everywhere where podcasts are heard.

[Podcast Host 1]

Summer is basically here, which means it's time to decide if you want to go blonde, maybe become a redhead or chop your hair short. But before you encounter a hair disaster, try it out in Facetune first and see what it looks like before committing to the change. If you It's a lifesaver.

[Podcast Host 2]

I've tried out Facetune and it's so fun to see what I look like with different hairstyles and different lighting. I definitely recommend it. Before you make a big change, you can even try out different makeup looks. Download Facetune free on the App Store or Google Play. If you are looking for a cute new pair of sandals for summer, you have to check out Reef. I have been on the hunt for the perfect pair of flip flops for the summer and I absolutely found them. It is so hard to find a pair that's comfortable and cute, but Reef truly has it all. They've been doing this forever. It's kind of their thing and not just one style or look. They really cover every moment in every outfit. Classic flip flops, comfy styles, chunkier platforms, easy slides. Whatever your vibe is, they have your wardrobe set for everything on the agenda. I've worn them to the beach, to brunch, running errands, even on days when I don't feel like trying but still want to look cute. That is the sweet spot. They're super comfortable, they look great, and you'll feel effortlessly put together. No overthinking, just the perfect pairs that do it all. If you don't have your go to sandals for summer yet, Reef has so many styles to choose from. Explore the full collection on reef.com and get 15 off your first purchase.

[Kathy]

Well, you know, let me ask you something. You know?

[Podcast Host 2]

Yes.

[Kathy]

So for me, you know how I operate when I. When the doubt is there. 10 days. Yeah, pretty much. Although we are sisters and love each other, but when I doubt, when I doubt that, usually I'm right. My intuition is very strong. So when you're saying, give it a chance, I'm like, I'll give it a chance. But usually, I know.

[Susan]

I always call it too you. You're.

[Kathy]

It's a little scary, you know, I'm waiting for the guy.

[Susan]

Optimistic all the time. Give it a chance. Give it this, give it that. You know?

[Kathy]

Okay, here's the thing. I am optimistic when I meet someone, but I am a pragmatist. I'm a realist. I. When I meet somebody, I look at them and I say, okay, this guy has potential. I'm attracted to him. And then if I start saying but A, B and C, then it's out the door. You know who I talk to a lot? This stuff is ck. I talk to him a lot about attraction and red flags and, you know, he's in our age group, and, I mean, the things that he sees as red flags are all green flags. So, you know, I don't understand the way. The way, you know, the way men operate. That's just a whole nother story for me. Susan. It's not a sign. I think you look for a sign to, I don't know, when you decide to leave. I leave when my thoughts. Thoughts and my emotions that I feel when I'm staring down the barrel. Adam, I'm out. What's your deal? What makes you leave?

[Susan]

Takes a long time. Long time. I always try to fix them. I was put here on earth to fix wounded souls, people that didn't feel real love. And I. I helped a lot of people throughout my life. I really have.

[Kathy]

Have you helped yourself, though? Have you gotten what you want?

[Susan]

No, I always get excited about being in love. But I'm a. I almost just said I'm alone. I'm almost alone.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Susan]

You know, but to me, I do have doubts, and I think that's normal, but I don't act on them. Whereas When I compare myself to you, I think if you have that little bit of a doubt, you're done. You're done.

[Kathy]

No, no, no. I, that. I want to be clear. When I had a doubt about this guy, the most recent guy, I. When you said, give it a chance, what did I say? I'll give it a chance. And I stayed in 100%. And when I was in the hospital with pneumonia for five days and I didn't get a visit, I didn't get a flower, I didn't get a. That told me everything. Yeah, he was traveling for a couple of days. But you know what? FTD sends flowers. So that was, that was, you know, confirmation that, that everything I thought that he can't put somebody else, his own life comes first. Once I have that confirmation, I'm out.

[Susan]

Do you, Kathy, do you think it's normal to have doubts that someone's right for you or not? That's another thing. Right.

[Kathy]

I think again, pragmatic. I think it is smart. You know, you lead with your heart 100% and you've had your heart broken. You've broken hearts. I, I think maybe this is why I'm single. I'm waiting for the guy because I loved. I love love too. It's not that it's right to have doubts. I wish more people would look at the situation as it is, not how they want it to be. I wish more women and men looked at the opposite sex or whoever they're attracted to and saw the people for who they are, not the person they want them to be.

[Susan]

What about, like, do you picture a future real early on, or does that come later for you?

[Kathy]

If I'm really like with this guy, I really could have. I mean, I could until I couldn't.

[Susan]

Talked about it a little bit.

[Kathy]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I could see us going down the road because he had so many of the qualities except for that one that was, you know, harboring in the corner of my head. But do I believe I have a very good friend who I just had dinner with Susan. She is 53 years old, very good friend of mine. We've known each other 20 years. She's divorced 12 years. She was always saying to me, I'll never get married again. I just don't understand men. I don't want to have sex. I'm just done with the whole thing. And she's very attractive and very fit. And I said, don't say that because you don't know. Never say never. Fast forward six months Ago, she met a guy. They're talking about marriage. It's like, this is what I'm saying. When, if and when you meet the

[Susan]

right guy just never know.

[Kathy]

You never know. So I don't think it's a thing where you should say, I'm gonna have doubts and make him prove you wrong. That's sort of giving a man tests to see if he can overcome the challenges you give him. I don't believe in setting up tests for men, but I do believe in, you know, like this guy that I was dating. He said to me, literally, after what, a week or 10 days, you someone I really could fall in love with. And I thought to myself, that's pretty quick to be saying that in my

[Susan]

head in a moment.

[Kathy]

Like, you know, it was in a moment, but, you know. Yes, but here's the thing. When. When someone says that to you and then behaves differently, that's how you know if they're the one or not the one. That's a red flag. Don't listen to differently. I'll tell you. Don't listen to what a guy says or a woman, depending wherever you are. Just watch what they do.

[Susan]

Actions.

[Kathy]

They will. You will see the real. If you just keep your eyes open and in my case, your mouth shut, you will see the real guy. And once he shows you who he is, please believe him. Don't try to make a guy something he's not.

[Susan]

And then the other one was like, should your lives align? Like, yes and no. We both have to have different things. I mean, how boring would it be if you did the exact same things, but the lifestyle itself, there's. You should be common things that you enjoy that each other.

[Kathy]

I 100 agree. I think you want to have like I. You and I, we both play golf. We'd like to find a guy who plays golf. Or pickleball.

[Karen or Georgia]

Patience.

[Kathy]

Or hike or. Yeah, patience, but you know what I'm saying. But that doesn't mean I would lose my mind or what's left of it if I had to spend 24 7, frankly, with anyone. Maybe with the exception to you, Susan, I could hang with you, but.

[Susan]

Because I'll just holler at you.

[Kathy]

That's right. But I'm saying I think it's a mix. I don't think the one. If I could find the one, it wouldn't be that he has all the same interests as I have. It wouldn't be that we spend 247 together. But I do think you have to have morals in common, values in common. Otherwise, you know, you're just. You're going to be parallel lines. You're not. There's not going to be a whole lot of intersection there.

[Susan]

It takes time to learn somebody.

[Kathy]

Yeah. All right. Well, since you and I are spending a lot of time learning, we're also spending a lot of time listening to our listeners, and we. We're going to give some expert, fabulous, golden advice today. Susan, go ahead. Get. Get with the first one here.

[Susan]

The first one here is first from Maddie from St. Louis. I've been seeing a guy who is amazing in so many ways, but he has a very close relationship with his ex. They text pretty regularly, follow each other on everything, and even grab coffee occasionally. He's been upfront about it, which I appreciate, but it still makes me feel uneasy. I don't want to come across as insecure, but I also don't know if I can fully relax in the relationship. Is this something I need to accept, or is it fair to set boundaries around it? You know, can I say what I was thinking?

[Kathy]

As I please do, please.

[Susan]

I'm sure people would feel that way about me and my ex. We text each other. He come. Vicki, I'm not home. Could you go check the mail? Like, we don't have coffee together, but we go visit our grandchildren together.

[Kathy]

I think that is very relationship. Very. Let me, let me sum this up for me very quickly. You and Dickie, and I've met your ex husband. He's a super nice guy. You guys work so well together regarding your children and your grandchildren. That is a very different experience than Maddie who's dating a guy who they don't share. The ex doesn't share children with this guy. He's just.

[Susan]

That doesn't say that, though.

[Kathy]

It doesn't say that. They do. I'm going with they don't have children. And here's what I would say, Maddie. It is a huge red flag. You know, why? Your boyfriend may well be amazing. And if he's that amazing, I bet everybody wants to be his friend. So tell him to go find some new friends and get X out the ex. And I mean, to me, that's a red flag, and there's no two ways about it.

[Susan]

Me, I would actually ask him, why did they divorce? Number one.

[Kathy]

Like, it doesn't say they were divorced.

[Susan]

Very good friends. His ex.

[Kathy]

It. X can be an ex boyfriend. Doesn't mean next husband necessarily. Come on, Susan, get with the 21st century here. And next boyfriend, to me, it's an

[Susan]

okay, that's different then.

[Kathy]

Yes, that's I'm assuming it. But you're right. If it's an ex husband, maybe.

[Susan]

Okay, I would have a conversation about it. Say, I don't want to sound insecure because I'm not. You're with the right person right now. But if you you have something, is there still a spark on either side? Does she have a boyfriend? The ex. Does she have a boyfriend? And they're just friends? I believe some people can be just friends.

[Kathy]

I I and, and I'm saying the person I'm going to be with is unless they share children together, there is no reason.

[Susan]

It does help.

[Kathy]

Yeah, there's no reason to talk to your ex. So Maddie, if he's not, if his, if his ex, is not his ex wife and they don't share children or grandchildren, tell them to hit the road. Go find yourself another awesome guy.

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[Dietz and Watson Advertiser]

I just received my order from Dietz and Watson. I am so excited. I got chicken sausages and flavored cheddar cheeses. You know I'm from New England and I know a genuine New York State Cheddar when I see it. They are infused with real ingredients, iconic flavors and a smooth creamy finish. I think my favorite one was the Champagne cheddar. It just is delicious. And the chicken sausage, they never have antibiotics, no nitrates are added, they're gluten free and they have bold, authentic recipes. Dietzen Watson has been handcrafting premium me meats and artisan cheeses for over 85 years. They're family owned and operated and they've never cut corners. Ever. They're transparent about what goes into their food and what doesn't, and they know good taste doesn't need a long list of ingredients. Dietz Watson is simply made. It's as simple as that. Visit dietzandwatson.com therightway to learn more about the Dietz difference.

[Podcast Host 2]

You know, history is full of surprising little details, and laundry, turns out, has its own fascinating story too. Because not all detergents are created equal. Tide Liquid Laundry Detergent isn't just clean, it's boosted clean for cleaner, whiter, brighter and fresher results compared to Tide Simply and those stubborn stains that always seem to show up at the worst times. Tide tackles a hundred percent of common stains for every load every time. Now, if grease is your nemesis, think food spills, cooking splatters? Tide's got 10 times grease fighting ingredients compared to the bargain brands. And it works in any machine, in any water condition, on all your machine washable fabrics. So it's no wonder that Tide was America's number one detergent in sales last year. So if it's got to be clean and it's got to be fresh, it's got to be Tide. Shop now at your local retailer. Tide is a proud sponsor of the Elton John Impact Awards, honoring those who have helped shape a more inclusive and compassionate world with their artistry, advocacy and unwavering commitment to equality. You won't want to miss the Elton John Impact Awards podcast, available on June 1st on the iHeartRadio app. And everywhere where podcasts are heard, summer is basically here.

[Podcast Host 1]

Which means it's time to decide if you want to go blonde, maybe become a redhead or chop your hair short. But before you encounter a hair disaster, try it out in Facetune first and see what it looks like before committing to the change. It's a lifesaver. Facetune lets you try color, length or style on virtually any photo. It even works on reels and TikToks so you can see how you'd look as a blonde before you reach for the hair dye or hit that salon chair.

[Podcast Host 2]

I've tried out Facetune and it's so fun to see what I look like with different hairstyles and different lighting. I definitely recommend it before you make a big change. You can even try out different makeup looks looks. Facetune can also smooth skin, vanish Flyaway hairs and fix whatever your photo needs. It will make your pictures and videos flawless. So even if the lighting is not on your side, Facetune has you covered. Download Facetune free on the App Store or Google Play. If you are looking for a cute new pair of sandals for summer, you have to check out Reef. I have been on the hunt for the perfect pair of flip flops for the summer and I. I absolutely found them. It is so hard to find a pair that's comfortable and cute, but Reef truly has it all. They've been doing this forever. It's kind of their thing. And not just one style or look. They really cover every moment in every outfit. Classic flip flops, comfy styles, chunkier platforms, easy slides. Whatever your vibe is, they have your wardrobe set for everything on the agenda. I've worn them to the beach, to brunch, running errands, even on days when I don't feel like trying but still want to look cute. That is the sweet spot. They're super comfortable, they look great, and you'll feel effortlessly put together. No overthinking, just the perfect pairs that do it all. If you don't have your go to sandals for summer yet, Reef has so many styles to choose from, explore the full collection on reef.com and get 15 off your first purchase.

[Kathy]

Okay, the next one is.

[Susan]

She says, is it fair?

[Kathy]

Okay, is it fair?

[Susan]

Boundaries. All spirit boundaries is being insecure. You know what I mean? Like you can't text her anymore. Like you can't do that. It's. Excuse me. Have the conversation, man.

[Kathy]

Maddie, setting boundaries is not insecure. Setting boundaries is a very secure person who sets boundaries. She's using the wrong word here. It's called kicking to the curb. It's not sending. Setting boundaries. It's not like. Yes. Maddie says to her. Exactly.

[Susan]

What is wrong with those? Still communicating.

[Kathy]

You know what? I don't have any interest in dating a guy who's having coffee with his ex. Unless they're talking about children and grandchildren. I'm moving along to the next one.

[Susan]

Fair enough.

[Karen or Georgia]

Moving on.

[Susan]

Moving on.

[Kathy]

And this is from Kiki, which is my grandmother nickname, so I would love this question. Kiki's from New York. I. Oh, I wish this were me. I recently started dating someone who is genuinely so thoughtful. He plans dates, remembers small details. Huh. I bet she got flowers when she was in the hospital with pneumonia.

[Susan]

Moving on, Cap.

[Kathy]

And makes me feel really cared for, but physically I'm just not as attracted to him as I hoped I would be. I keep Telling myself attraction can grow. But I'm worried. I'm leading him on. How do you know if it's something worth building or if it's just not there? Okay, I've got the answer for this one. It depends how old you are. Kiki. If you are a young spring thing and you don't want to jump his bones and you've been dating for a while, you're just, as they say in the movie, you're just not that into him, or whatever the expression is. If you're our age, or let's call it from One Kiki to another, if you can build in, I believe you can build into romance. Yes, I feel a physical attraction to a guy if I'm interested in him. But that doesn't mean that it can't grow. I think for different people, it's different. You say you recently started dating him. I mean, if it was a week ago, give yourself a break. If it's been three months and you're not feeling it, yeah, you're probably not there. What do you think, Susan?

[Susan]

For me, attraction is huge. It really is. But at 69 years old, I do realize if I get to meet somebody that I'm not head over heels attracted to, can't wait to jump his bones or kiss him or whatever, I would give him grace and see how he treats me. Like, she's saying he does everything right. I've never done that before.

[Kathy]

I will say the other thing, though, Kiki. Give it a minute. But I will also say, you know me. I trust intuition. And when Kiki says I'm worried, I'm leading him on. You know what, Susan? She's probably not that into him, and she is leading him on. But because he's so kind and nice and generous, she doesn't want to throw him back into the wild. And I get it, because there aren't that many good men out there. Or at least they're not, you know, hanging around my neighborhood. So let us know.

[Susan]

She's not telling us exactly how long it's.

[Kathy]

Yeah. So I think time matters. If it's been. If it's been more than a few months and you're not feeling any sexual chemistry. Probably not. Probably not a good.

[Susan]

Because you need that. That is important. All right, so this one is from Carrie, from Louisville.

[Kathy]

Louisville.

[Susan]

Louisville. Louisville.

[Kathy]

That's how you said in Kentucky.

[Susan]

Louisville. Louisville, Kentucky. There you go. I met someone at a friend's birthday party, and we had insane chemistry. Chemistry right away. There you go, Susan. Yep. We've now been seeing each other for a few weeks. But I recently found out he got out of a long term relationship only two months ago. He says he's completely over it, but he still brings her up in little ways. I really like him, but I don't want to be someone's rebound. How do I tell the difference between someone who's ready to move on versus someone who just wants to be? That is a tough one because you feel like the chemistry's there. This is perfect. And, and quite possibly he is over the other.

[Kathy]

I'm with you. I want to know in what little ways she. He brings her up if they're lying in bed. And, and, and he says to her, you know, Susie Q, my ex girlfriend, used to sleep on the other side of the bed. That's probably not a good sign. You know, I want to know what little ways. Or, you know, know, Susie puts the, sets the table this way. Like it depends what it is. But in, in general, I don't think it's a good sign.

[Susan]

But Kathy, also, if you've been in a long term relationship and it's only two months, it's habit as well, don't you think?

[Kathy]

I don't know. The only time this happened to me, Susan, was. I think I've told this story on the podcast before. I was dating a guy, I had a date with a guy and we sat down and all he. His wife had been deceased two years. All he did was talk about his ex wife in big ways and little ways. And so as the dinner went on, I of course started playing a game. How many times could I get him to say his wife's. His deceased wife's name? I. I won that game. Oh, hell yeah, I won. Oh, I got a prize, man. I. He left and I got a martini. It was great. But I don't know, I think that's one of those things you got to wait and, and see if you really like him. Like Susan said, give him some grace, see what it is. And you know, eventually, if you feel comfortable, comfortable enough, you could bring it up to him and say, you know, I think we have a great relationship ready for us.

[Susan]

Yeah.

[Kathy]

Well, no, I would do it more positively for me. I would say, you know, Joe, I really like you a lot. I think we have a great relationship. But, you know, I'm concerned. You keep bringing up Susie Q. Can you talk to me a little bit about. See what his answer is. Whatever.

[Susan]

Okay, everybody, you heard us and our advice. You know what to do. Submit your burning questions to us by going to Bachelor Nation.com Golden Hour. Come back every week and see if it's one of your questions we answered.

[Kathy]

And we'll see if Susan and I agree, which rarely happens, but.

[Dietz and Watson Advertiser]

All right.

[Kathy]

Today we are going to do the gal Googles it again. It's where we break down slang words that people are using in dating and public pop culture. Okay, you ready for the first one, Susan?

[Susan]

Huh?

[Kathy]

All right. It's sneaky link. And this is something I do all the time. It's a secret. I'm kidding, by the way. It's a secret hookup you do not claim publicly. It's basically a booty call. Now, I don't, I mean when I was growing up, we didn't do this. But do you remember what they called it when you were growing up? Did we even do it call. Really? Is that what it was called then?

[Susan]

Absolutely. A booty call.

[Kathy]

I just don't remember benefits.

[Susan]

I mean it's ew.

[Karen or Georgia]

Okay.

[Susan]

Sneaky link. It's sneaky. Yes. You don't want anybody to know it's a one night stand. It's whatever. Like, no, it's not something you talk about.

[Kathy]

Do you think it's. Would you. I mean, I already know the answer for me and I hope I know your answer. Like, is there anything hot about this for you? Like, do you think it's hot if a guy asks you to have a hookup? A booty call. Call it whatever. A sneaky link. Like, no, thank you because, well, if

[Susan]

I'm going to go to bed with somebody, I'm attracted to them. Therefore there's a like involved. And then I'll be pissed off if it's just a beauty like see you.

[Kathy]

I could never. I tell you, I've had a guy in my lifetime say to me, I really like you, but had there other extenuating circumstances and said but I would love to go to bed with you.

[Susan]

I. It's a compliment. Take it for that.

[Kathy]

Yeah, it's also was the would be a booty call. And I just realized something.

[Susan]

I did have what they would refer to. I don't know about today's lingo. A friend with benefits for a year and a half. Same person. Same person never saw anybody else either, did he? But he was incapable of building a future because he.

[Kathy]

Oh, but you thought you were dating

[Susan]

Damage from the relationship. Yes, we saw each other and it.

[Kathy]

So that's not. Wait, that's not a friend with benefits. If you were dating, you just. He just couldn't commit to a long term relationship. But that is not friends. Is like.

[Susan]

It was friends.

[Kathy]

He's gonna. He's gonna kill me. I'm friends with ck. If I had a booty call with ck. That's a hookup. I love you, ck, but that's not what we're talking about here with your guy. You were dating him. I would never. It's not. Let me say to you, in short, no, thank you.

[Susan]

Yeah. Okay. This one. Wait. You ready?

[Kathy]

I'm ready.

[Susan]

Fishing. It's like catfishing, but just slightly. What is kitten fishing. Are you serious?

[Kathy]

Well, it's. It's better. Kitten fishing is. You know what catfishing is? It's like you put. Put stuff out there.

[Susan]

Somebody else.

[Kathy]

No, no, no, no, no. That's gaslighting.

[Susan]

Oh.

[Kathy]

Catfishing is when you're trying to attract women and you put, you know, stuff out there to attract women. You're. You're. But. Or men, depending. You're where you are. That's called catfishing. But, you know, you don't really have any intention. You're either. It's probably not really you. That's what catfishing is. You know a guy in Zimbabwe who's telling you he lives in LA and is a movie producer. That's catfish.

[Susan]

Finishing your great picture from 10 years ago up. And you really look like this now.

[Podcast Host 2]

Oh, yeah.

[Kathy]

Great. Or somebody else's picture. It's not even what you look like. So it's. The reality is not. It's not what you're displaying out there. Okay.

[Susan]

For us, it would be really difficult to screw that one up because we're on tv, we're on the Internet. We're everywhere. People would know.

[Kathy]

I mean, I. I think I will be honest.

[Dietz and Watson Advertiser]

Honest.

[Kathy]

I have seen a kitten. Fishing, to me, is just a little less severe than catfishing. Right? So I have seen women who I know put up pictures that look marginally better than what they look like in. In real time. I've also seen women put. Put up pictures like. You got to be kidding me. That was you 30 years ago. Right? So I think it's just a mild distortion of time. That's what we're talking about here. And you know what? We all do that.

[Susan]

Who wouldn't put up the. Their best photo? Well, I don't list my best every single day.

[Kathy]

But, Susan, if you take a picture. Listen, let me. Let me paint the little kitten for you, okay?

[Susan]

Fish. I don't fish.

[Kathy]

No, if you were fishing. Oh, God, this metaphor. If you were looking for a guy and you put up a picture of you five years ago. You might use a couple of filters

[Susan]

and make your hair look filtered.

[Kathy]

No, that's kitten fishing. Like, you're not. You're not putting. All right, so.

[Susan]

And I'm glad I'm old because I don't kitten fish.

[Kathy]

Okay, so sneaky link. But men, let me just tell you, the men across the board. And I don't know if I call this kitten fishing. I call it wrong. I will go out with a man and I'll. We'll talk. I'll say, how tall are you? I would say across the board, 90. 95 to what, 99 of men. Oh, I'm six feet tall. You meet them on a stretcher, they're five, 10, you know, is that catfishing?

[Susan]

I don't know.

[Kathy]

I mean, if they've got two legs,

[Susan]

if they get blatant. Lie. Although people shrink because I know I'm shrinking. Enough of that. You know what? This goes by so fast. Kathy. I just, I could talk all day.

[Kathy]

I just. I love that you think kid fishing is not a thing. Susan, let me just say to you about kitten fishing when I see you, Susan, next time. Are you ready? I want, I want to put a filter on me. I want you to do my hair. I want you to make me, like, look just a little better. Not like a whole different thing, a little better than what I look. And we're gonna put it up. And then now I'm kitten fishing. Now I'm kitten fishing.

[Susan]

Be the filter. It's when somebody else does you, you always feel better, right? Oh, gosh.

[Kathy]

All right, we're gonna on this happy note of kittens. Cats purring and meowing. That's gonna do it for this episode. That's gonna do it for this episode of Bachelor's golden hour.

[Susan]

And make sure to rate us, review us and subscribe wherever you listen to

[Kathy]

your podcast and you can follow golden hour on social media at Battle Happy Hour and at Bachelor Nation. Until next time. Meow, meow.

[Dietz and Watson Advertiser]

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[Podcast Host 1]

Summer is basically here, which means it's time to decide if you want to go blonde, maybe become a redhead or chop your hair short. But before you encounter a hair disaster, try it out in Facetune first and see what it looks like before committing to the change. It's a lifesaver.

[Podcast Host 2]

I've tried out Facetune and it's so fun to see what I look like with different hairstyles and different lighting. I definitely recommend it. Before you make a big change. You can even try out different makeup looks. Download Facetune free on the App Store or Google Play. History is full of mysteries like how people ever survived before modern laundry detergent. Luckily, Tide is here with Booster Stain fighting for cleaner, whiter, brighter and fresher laundry versus Tide. Simply. No wonder it was America's number one detergent in sales last year. If it's got to be clean, it's got to be Tide. Tide is a proud sponsor of the Elton John Impact Awards, honoring those who have helped shape a more inclusive and compassionate world with their artistry, advocacy and unwavering commitment to equality. You won't want to miss the Elton John Impact Awards podcast, available on June 1st on the iHeartRadio app and everywhere where podcasts are heard. If you are looking for a cute new pair of sandals for summer, you have to check out Reef. I have been on the hunt for a perfect pair of flip flops so I was so excited when I got my pair of reefs because not only are they so cute, but they're actually comfortable and exactly what I've been pinning to my Pinterest board. They have been doing this forever. It's kind of their thing. Flip flops, platforms, slides, premium materials and so stylish. So whatever your vibe is, they have your wardrobe set for everything on the agenda. Styles for the beach, brunch, date night or vacation. They're super comfortable, they look great and you'll feel effortlessly put together. Explore the full collection on reef.com and get 15 off your first purchase.

[Podcast Host 1]

Hi, it's Karen and Georgia from My Favorite Murder.

[Karen or Georgia]

We cruised around LA in the Hyundai Ionic 5 and dove into the fascinating life of actress and inventor Hedy Lamar.

[Kathy]

The full Story Take a listen.

[Karen or Georgia]

She starts dating Howard Hughes and in fact she helps him design a faster plane. So she finds the fastest bird and the fastest fish and sketches out a drawing of what the two would look like as a plane and that becomes the plane that we know today. And he calls her a genius. Check out our new episode spotlighting groundbreaking innovators like Hedy and Lamarr and Billie

[Podcast Host 2]

Jean King, presented by the Hyundai Ioniq 5.

[Dietz and Watson Advertiser]

Goodbye.

[Podcast Host 1]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Susan]

Guaranteed Human.