Kathy & Susan Break Down Dealing with Exes | Golden Hour

Summary

Bachelor Happy Hour: “Kathy & Susan Break Down Dealing with Exes | Golden Hour”

Date: August 7, 2026
Hosts: Kathy and Susan
Podcast: Bachelor Happy Hour (iHeartPodcasts & Warner Bros)

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Episode Overview

In this lively and heartfelt episode, Kathy and Susan—fan favorites from "The Golden Bachelor"—dive into the complexities of dealing with exes, friendships after breakups, and the evolving dynamics of relationships. They tackle recent Bachelor Nation headlines, share personal stories, respond to listener advice letters, and decode trending dating slang. The conversation is candid, humorous, and seasoned with wisdom from real-life experience, making this an engaging listen for anyone navigating love, loss, and new beginnings—especially in midlife and beyond.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

Opening Catch-Up: Sickness & Beach Retreat

• Kathy’s Rough Weekend: Kathy describes being bedridden with a fever and the anxiety of wondering if she’d relapse into pneumonia.
  • “I panicked...I started running a fever and I thought, oh my God, I'm gonna end up back in the hospital with pneumonia.” (03:46)
• Susan’s Beach Reset: Susan, meanwhile, enjoyed a carefree “do-nothing” trip at the beach with friends.
  • “We had so much fun and we did nothing. That was the best part.” (04:06)

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Bachelor Nation News & Reflections on Authenticity

• Teresa Nist’s Golden Bachelor Regrets: Teresa expressed she didn’t show her authentic self on the show and would do things differently.

  • Kathy questions the wisdom: “So she was not her authentic self when all they tell you on this show is to be your authentic self. Am I right?” (05:34)
  • Susan responds: “I really, honest to God, thought she was being herself and just didn't even think twice about what she was saying...I don't think she meant harm.” (06:40)

• Lessons in Authenticity: Kathy and Susan note the irony that Teresa wasn’t fully authentic yet “got the guy,” while both of them acted authentically but left single.

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Divorce, Heartbreak, and Parenting Wisdom

• Courtney Robertson’s Divorce: The duo weighs in on Courtney’s upcoming divorce and the pain of broken trust.
  • Kathy surmises, “When you talk about damage to a marriage, it usually means infidelity...I'm going with, he cheated on her.” (08:53)
• Generational Shifts & Staying for the Kids: Both share their disapproval of staying in broken marriages "for the kids."
  • Kathy: “It is never good to stay married for the children. That is a lousy [idea].” (10:36)
• Susan’s Personal Update: Susan opens up about her daughter's impending divorce, expressing concern for her grandchildren.

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Parenthood Fears & Encouragement for Hannah Brown

• Hannah Brown’s Hesitation: Hannah Brown is quoted as “having a lot of fear about starting a family.”
  • Kathy recalls her childhood fears: “It was so scary, first of all, to have that thing come out from, you know...but also to be so responsible for a child's life.” (11:25)
  • Susan reassures, “She’s going to be a great mommy. Are you kidding?” (12:09)
• Motherhood Real Talk: Both acknowledge the fear and responsibility but affirm the joys and rewards of parenthood.

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Main Topic: Can Exes Truly Be Friends?

Starting at [17:10]

• Philosophy & Realities:
  • Kathy asserts, “I think some exes can be friends. I think some exes are holding on to something, hoping it comes back. I think...they don't want any animosity.” (17:32)
  • Susan’s take: “Honestly, staying friends is a sign of maturity.” (18:03)
• Defining ‘Friendship’:
  • Susan describes cordial, “friendly” texts for holidays with most exes.
  • Kathy distinguishes between “being friendly” and full-on friendship, saying she doesn’t expend energy on lingering relationships: “If I've broken up with you...why would I want to be your friend? Why would I want to follow you on Instagram? I'd rather watch dust grow.” (22:22)
• Role of the Breaker/Break-ee:
  • Kathy, usually the one to end things, says she moves on quickly: “I'm healed the day I leave the relationship, I'm done.” (23:07)
  • Susan notes heartbreak is harder on the person who didn’t initiate the break.
• Social Media:
  • The women discuss whether or not to unfollow exes. Susan admits curiosity—the occasional social media check-in—while Kathy has no desire to keep tabs.
• Integrating Exes into Your Social Circle:
  • Susan considers it possible, sharing her close, post-divorce relationship with her ex “Dickie,” especially in co-parenting. Kathy cautions, “I think that's rare, Susan.” (21:56)
  • On bringing exes into new relationships or group settings, Kathy likens it to tracking a resold dress—once it’s out of your possession, best to move on. (24:38)
• Reconnecting with Exes: Both acknowledge it happens more with younger people in larger friend groups, but in “serious” adult relationships, it’s less common and often awkward.

Notable Quotes:

• Susan: "What about if you met somebody and your new partner said that he was best friends with his ex? ... I could say I'm best friends with Dickie, my ex. We're very good friends, but closer than we've ever been." (21:04)
• Kathy: "You buy this really beautiful dress...then you drop it off at the resale shop...do you really want to have an AirTag on that dress and see who's wearing it next and where? That's how I feel about men." (24:38)

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Listener Letters: Giving Advice

Starting at [35:53]

1. Being Compared to the Ex ([36:13])

• Melissa from Philadelphia: Her boyfriend constantly references his ex during arguments.
• Kathy: “If anybody ever compared me to his ex, well, I guess I'm soon going to be your ex, too.” (36:53)
• Susan: “I am not your ex. Hello. Meet me. I'm Susan.” (37:15)
• Summary: Firm advice to Melissa—draw boundaries and recognize this as a possible red flag.

2. Marriage Feels Like a Business ([39:02])

• Amanda from Nashville: Nine years married, feeling like business partners; romance faded.
• Kathy: Acknowledges “seasons of marriage” but stresses the need for proactive romance.
  • “You have to actively work together to build back up the romance and have date nights and do all those things. It's both. Both are true.” (40:28)
• Susan: Suggests spicing things up—playful, spontaneous gestures and open communication.
• Kathy: “Loving each other and talking it through...don’t just sweep it under the rug.” (42:02)
• Hints at Men’s Responses: Discuss how men often don't notice missing romance, but lack of intimacy is a common reason they cite for divorce.

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Slang Words of the Week: “Let Her Cook” & “Girl Math”

Starting at [43:26]

Let Her/Him Cook ([43:47])

• Definition: Let someone continue (with a story, idea, plan) without interruption—trust the process.
• Kathy: “Let it cook. Let it go. Let it slide.” (44:14)
• Susan plays along humorously: “I thought they were making a meal.” (44:16)

Girl Math ([45:07])

• Definition: Playful, illogical justifications for spending money.
• Susan: Admits she's a living example: “If I paid with cash, it was basically free...Anything under $10 doesn't count. I love girl math.” (46:03)
• Kathy teases: “Girl math was made for you, Susan. I can't even.” (46:27)

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

• Kathy’s brutal honesty:
  “If I've broken up with you...I'd rather watch dust grow.” (22:22)
• On “Girl Math”:
  Susan: “I forgot I ordered it. It's a surprise gift coming from my past self.” (45:55)
• On exes and moving on:
  Kathy: “Go dance with whoever. Go follow your moon. But I only have so much space in this brain...when I'm done, I'm done.” (24:48)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Kathy’s sickness & Susan’s beach trip: 03:11 – 04:51
• Teresa Nist Golden Bachelor discussion: 04:54 – 07:31
• Courtney Robertson, divorce, staying for the kids: 08:10 – 10:42
• Hannah Brown & parenthood fears: 10:49 – 12:12
• Can exes be friends? 17:10 – 31:26
• Listener questions/advice: 35:53 – 42:55
• Slang Words of the Week: 43:26 – 47:30

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Tone and Style

• Candid, no-nonsense, yet compassionate advice, sprinkled with humor and anecdotes from real life.
• A relatable, honest “girlfriend chat” that doesn’t shy from tough truths, but offers support and empathy.
• Good-natured teasing between Kathy and Susan, with a dynamic that showcases both wisdom and wit.

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Final Takeaways

Kathy and Susan make it clear: Relationships are complicated, and navigating life post-breakup isn’t “one size fits all.” They advocate for authenticity, setting boundaries, letting go when it’s time—and keeping a sense of humor (and the occasional bit of girl math) along the way. Both underscore the importance of self-respect, emotional honesty, and, when in doubt, asking for what you need—whether in a romantic partnership, after a split, or in conversations about what really matters.

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For more advice, stories, and laughs, listen weekly and submit your own questions to Bachelor Golden Hour.

Transcript

[Kathy]

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[Susan]

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[Susan]

Soldier. Welcome back everybody to golden hour. I'm Susan.

[Kathy]

And I'm Kathy. And we're so excited to be back. But I gotta tell you, Susan, you always look fabulous. This is one of these days where I am so glad that there's only gonna be like a video snippet of me. Cause you know this. I was in bed so sick all weekend, fever.

[Susan]

Well, you look pretty damn good for being sick in bed all weekend.

[Kathy]

I literally got up today and washed my hair and took a shower. But I have to tell you, I panicked. And you, you who were at your friend's house at the beach all weekend, I needed my friend because here's what happened, Susan. I panicked.

[Susan]

What?

[Kathy]

Because I started running a fever and I thought, oh my God, I'm gonna back end up back in the hospital with pneumonia.

[Susan]

With your chest hurt? Is that the symptom?

[Kathy]

I couldn't breathe. I had the pulseometer and aeroxometer and whatever it's called and my oxygen level was dropping. I mean it was like living a nightmare all over again. But I'm better today and.

[Susan]

Well, I'm so sorry to hear that, but I have to share your beach. My butt was in Seattle city. There were six of us. We had so much fun and we did nothing. That was the best part. There was no humidity, an ocean breeze. I mean the rough, the waves were rough. But other than that, can you say perfect?

[Kathy]

Wait, were there. Are there sharks there, Susan?

[Susan]

Kathy, there's sharks everywhere.

[Kathy]

Really?

[Susan]

But I really don't think they're right there in sea aisle at the beach.

[Kathy]

I don't know, I just. Yes, I listen. I grew up swimming in every beach in Cape Cod, Nantucket, Martha's Vineyard, never. I used to swim out so far there. Oh, I know they weren't there when I was a child. I think they've imported shark.

[Susan]

Kathy, that's just what your daddy told you.

[Kathy]

They're probably hoping I got got a Bite out of my leg. All right, well, while you were sunning at the beach and while I was dying in bed, there has been a huge week in Bachelor news, so we're gonna get right into it. First of all, let's start with our friend Teresa Nist. She admits that she held back on Golden Bachelor and what she would have done differently. She said I would have been my more authentic self. And I'm saying to myself, I just. I just want to throw this at you before you give me your opinion. So she was not her authentic self when all they tell you on this show is to be your authentic self. Am I right?

[Susan]

Yes, absolutely.

[Kathy]

She was not her authentic self, and she got the guy. You and I were exactly our authentic selves, and here we are, basically single. Would you like to. We got nothing. So what do you. What's your take on all this?

[Susan]

She also says that she regrets that nothing that she said or did. Right.

[Dietz and Watson Sponsor Voice]

Okay.

[Kathy]

You cannot regret it. But if you're not yourself, I mean, listen, Teresa is a very nice person. Gary's a very nice person. They're both great people. And, you know, Gary's happily with Lana now. Yeah. He's very happy guy. But here's the thing. How do you. Does anyone expect to find your Mr. Right on TV or in the garden or, you know, at a swimming pool if you're not being authentic? I don't get it.

[Susan]

I know. I think she was herself. She was just, like, after spending time with her after the show.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Susan]

Like she regretted causing that thing with you. She regretted things that she said. And really, I remember my statement. Are you 9 cents short of a dime? I didn't mean to insult, but when she said to me, did I offend you? I said, teresa, you don't remember what you said to me? I really, honest to God, thought she was being herself and just didn't even think twice about what she was saying. I don't think she meant harm. Nonetheless, you said it.

[Kathy]

Yeah, well, when she told me. That's so funny you said that, because I remember when she said to me, kathy, you're going home because Gary likes petite brunettes. Do you remember? I wanted to put down the fork and not eat for a month. It was the same day I was. But you know what? We're friends now. It's. I think it all. I think it all happened the way it was supposed to happen. Don't you?

[Wellness Podcast Host Perry Wilson]

Yeah.

[Susan]

Yeah, it did. Everything happens for a reason or a season. Right? People come into our lives for a reason.

[Kathy]

No, I just read A thing that said, that's not true. I just read a thing that said, that's not true.

[Susan]

Well, I wouldn't believe everything you read, because think about your life. It's true. People show up for different reasons, and we learn something by it or we feel something from it. Like, that's.

[Kathy]

Well, I can't remember. I'm gonna look it up, and I'll get back to you on what I read. But it said something about. It's our reactions. It's not a season reason.

[Dietz and Watson Sponsor Voice]

It's.

[Kathy]

It's what we learn from it. I don't know. It was some esoteric. It was some esoteric thing.

[Susan]

I don't know. Sometimes it's only a season. Let's talk about Courtney Robinson. She filed for divorce from her husband, Huberto.

[Kathy]

Umberto. Umberto.

[Susan]

Umberto. After six years, three kids. But what she said made me think, like, she said that now you can't trust. Do you think he cheated? Is that the issue?

[Kathy]

I mean. Yeah, I think. I think the quote was, after learning information that irreparably damaged the trust in our marriage, I made the difficult decision to file for divorce. And I think.

[Susan]

Hardest season of her life.

[Kathy]

Yeah. And I think. I mean, we could go a lot of places, but when. Let's not. Let's not try to reinvent the wheel here. When you talk about damage to a marriage, it usually means infidelity on one or the other's part. And since she filed for divorce and I passed first grade math, I'm going with, he cheated on her.

[Susan]

I just feel bad because she found him out of Bachelor, you know, after.

[Kathy]

Why do you. I don't care where she found him, Susan. Let's just focus on the fact she found a guy. But. Yeah, no, it's very sad. And the children, that. They're Three young kids.

[Susan]

Yes. Well, I'm living it right now because my daughter is about to file for divorce.

[Kathy]

Oh, I'm so sorry, Susan. I didn't know. If you want to talk about that.

[Susan]

Oh, the heartache. Like, you know that saying, you're only as happy as your least happy child? Right. It just stays with you. And I talk to her, and some days. Some moments, she sounds okay, and then.

[Kathy]

You know what? You're a great mom. You're gonna be there for her, and she's gonna get through it. Cause you know what, Susan? We get through tough times, and that's not me being Pollyanna. That is, you know, we are made of tough stuff. And your daughter is. And she's gonna get through this.

[Susan]

You know what I worry about the most? My grandchildren.

[Dietz and Watson Sponsor Voice]

Of course, it's always about the kids, isn't it?

[Kathy]

That's what I just said about Courtney. They have three young children. But you know what, Susan? I've said this to you before. In my opinion, my parents were divorced, and it was an ugly, ugly War of the Roses divorce. I don't think it's ever good. Not that anyone cares about my opinion. It is never good to stay married for the children. That is a lousy.

[Susan]

Or have more children to save a marriage. That's not good either.

[Kathy]

Moving right along. Okay, our favorite. My favorite, Hannah Brown, who is just little perfection in a box to me.

[Susan]

I know.

[Kathy]

Admits that she has a lot of fear about starting a family. She said, am I ready for this? I have a fear of commitment. And yet she said she's now dreaming of having children. So, you know, surgery to clean the. Don't. I was. I was. You're gonna laugh when I say this. When I was little and I. I mean, young, I used to say that life wasn't fair because little boys had to grow up and go to war and little girls had to grow up and have children. And I know you're gonna laugh. I swear to God. I used to say that because I.

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It.

[Kathy]

To me, it was so scary, first of all, to have that thing come out from, you know, like to have to deliver the baby, but also to be so responsible for a child's life. You're no longer responsible for just you. You have a husband and a child or a partner and a child. And I get it, Hannah, it's scary. But I'm gonna tell you, girlfriend, I

[Susan]

think her fear is bearing the child.

[Kathy]

Just. Just what I was saying, raising a child, having that responsibility. But, Hannah, I'm gonna tell you, when you see that little munchkin and you put your arms around him or her or them, if you get twins, the love is gonna explode in your heart, and it's all. And if it's not, you call me and I'll come babysit.

[Susan]

She's going to be a great mommy. Are you kidding?

[Kathy]

I know, I know. Love those babies.

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[Kathy]

Bull.

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[Kathy]

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[Susan]

All right, let's move along here. Guess what we're going to be talking Talking about.

[Kathy]

Oh, Lord, I don't can't even imagine.

[Susan]

I love this because I am different than most. Can exes truly be friends?

[Kathy]

Oh, Susan, hold on. Wait. You and I. Okay, so in fact, I've been thinking about this with you and I'm gonna go down a road with you that you're probably not gonna like. But I'm in a mood today because I've been in bed all year, assuming

[Susan]

I might like it or might not, you may not.

[Kathy]

But I'm feisty because I haven't, you know, I haven't. No one's talked to me all weekend. I've been sneezing. I'm gonna take it on. I love you. Okay, here's the thing. I think some exes can be friends. I think some exes are holding on to something, hoping it comes back. I think some exit. They're just afraid. They don't want any animosity. I don't know where you fit in on that. In that, in that realm, but I'm gonna. But where do you fit in?

[Susan]

Well, I, I would say, honestly, staying friends is a sign of maturity.

[Kathy]

So let. Well, wait a minute. Staying friends. Do you have coffee with your exes? Do you meet for lunch? Do you follow them on Instagram? Do you. Are you friends with them and go out with them on double dates? Like, what does it mean? Hell, I don't know.

[Wellness Podcast Host Perry Wilson]

I don't.

[Kathy]

Live your life.

[Susan]

And friends and holiday time, we reach out with a text message wishing the other person a happy holiday. Mostly all of them.

[Kathy]

Okay. But that, I would say, I wouldn't call that being friends with your ex. I don't think that's friend. It's friendly. That's what that is. And that, and that's fine. You know, I don't have a problem with that either. But I think that, I think, I think some people. Susan, it depends who, you know, who's the breakie and who's the break or. Because I think sometimes people want that relationship. Relationship back. They're unhappy with the way it terminated, and they're hoping to rebuild something. I think it runs the gamut. I can tell you. For me, I. A couple of guys I've dated, I remained friendly with for a period of time, but honestly, you know, we've all moved on, and I'm sure they're having a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year and, you know, but I don't really care.

[Susan]

Also think it depends on how you broke up. Like, one of the things I read about. Could you genuinely stop being attracted to somebody that you once loved?

[Kathy]

Oh, are you asking me that?

[Susan]

No, I read that, and I'm like, yeah, that happens all the time.

[Kathy]

Wait, wait. That you're still attracted or not attracted?

[Susan]

No. Can you generally stop being attracted that you once love? Of course.

[Kathy]

Yeah. No, of course. But I, I, I, I just think this is, it's, this is like the mad rushing river. Where do you draw the line? When is it too far over the dam? I Don't want the one X. I'm still, you know, this. I'm still friends. A guy dated for 10 months. I'm still friends with his daughter. We talk on the phone. I. She has a. A jewelry business. I've helped her, you know, with shows and stuff. She's a lovely person. I don't talk to her dad anymore. I don't wish him any ill, but I broke up with him, and, you know, mazel. Go live your life.

[Susan]

What about your.

[Kathy]

Wait a minute. But I do not want. Here's what I'm saying. But if, if she said to me, hey, Kathy, let's all get together for lunch, I'd rather scrape my nails on a chalkboard. I just don't.

[Susan]

I don't see him and her. His daughter and him.

[Kathy]

Oh, I love his daughter. I'm saying, I. It's like, I, I'd rather watch dust grow. I have no interest in seeing him. It's. And I broke it off. It's like, go live your life. There's just, It's. Why would I want to have lunch with him? I, I. There would be no, I don't know.

[Susan]

But how about if you met somebody and your new partner said that he was best friends with his ex? Cause I could say I'm best friends with Dickie, my ex. We're very good friends, but closer than we've ever been.

[Kathy]

But I. So that brings up another question. You guys have stayed friends for many reasons. One, I think Dickie's a very kind guy who helps you. I mean, you guys who are out there. Susan is telling the truth. Dickie comes over, helps her with yard work, the swimming pool. They work together. Now with her daughter going through this divorce, they're pulling in this boat together to help their daughter. Like, you guys are tight when it comes to your children. I think you guys have a very good relationship, but I think that's rare. Susan.

[Susan]

I believe it is from hearing from most of the world.

[Kathy]

Yeah, I mean,

[Susan]

like, do you unfollow somebody if you're following them after a breakup?

[Kathy]

Well, most of the men I date are on pretty. You know, they don't know how to use Instagram or, God forbid, TikTok. They just, they may be on Facebook. On Facebook. And frankly, you know, I don't unfollow anybody. It takes too much effort, and I don't, like.

[Susan]

I'm curious what they're doing.

[Kathy]

I want to go, oh, no, I never. I could see. I think I lack. I think I'm. As we know, I'm a very different person if. If. If I've broken up with you or. Well, I've only had one guy ever break up with me. If I've broken up with you, I don't wish you any ill will, but I broke up with you because I didn't want to spend any more time you. So why would I want to be your friend? Why would I want to follow you on Instagram? It's like I just said again, I'd rather watch dust grow. So, you know, wait a minute. Wait a minute. So I don't think. I don't think that for me, that it's a matter of, you know, does time heal? Because I'm healed. The day I leave the relationship, I'm done.

[Susan]

But you're doing the leaving.

[Kathy]

That's right.

[Susan]

The other way around. I don't think. Lingering and hanging on. Let's just be friends with the hopes that you're gonna be attracted again.

[Kathy]

So the guy. And, you know, we're not gonna use his name, but, you know, the guy that I'm friends with, who I dated, who didn't wanna date me, I was a very different person when we dated and wasn't ready to date. He's a great guy. We're really good friends. But I remember I couldn't talk to him for, I don't know, a couple of months. And then one day I reached out and I said I missed talking with him. And, you know, we've been friends and ever since.

[Arm and Hammer / Wellness Podcast Host Emily Oster]

Right.

[Kathy]

But I don't. I could never imagine. And I know you keep saying I should date him. I could never imagine going back and dating him. Now. Could you date an ex?

[Susan]

That point. How about, should your partner's ex ever be a part of your social circle? Would you be comfortable with that?

[Kathy]

I can't. I said I can't imagine. First of all, my social circle's pretty small. Yeah, some of the guys. Yeah. But I don't follow them. I mean, I just don't. I know I'm gonna take heed again. It's not that I'm a mean person. It's just. It's like. Okay, you're gonna laugh. This one just came to my mind. You buy this really beautiful dress, Susan, and you wear it, and then you know what?

[Susan]

You.

[Kathy]

You drop it off at the resale shop because you've worn it twice. Do you really want to have an airtag on that dress and see who's wearing it next and where?

[Arm and Hammer / Wellness Podcast Host Emily Oster]

It's just.

[Kathy]

That's how I feel about men. Like, go live Your life. Go dance with whoever. Go follow your moon. Go follow your heart. But I don't, I don't want any harm to come to an ex. Hear me? I don't want any harm. But in terms of, you know, my life is full. Your life is full. I only have so much space in this brain for men, children, grandchildren, and so when I'm done, I'm done. No, no.

[Susan]

Hard feelings are very different, Kathy. As you know, I just posted a, A person's place I stopped at a couple weeks back. They were having this big annual summer party. They have it every year, and it's so nice to see all the people there. And my ex was there, my ex boyfriend that I dated for about a year or so. And it, I was totally fine.

[Kathy]

How was he?

[Susan]

Weird. At first. I go, what is your problem? Aren't you over this yet? Come on. You know, because I did the breaking up. Of course, of course he asked me to go somewhere with him. Get over it.

[Kathy]

So, see, that's the problem. You, by the way, Bachelor Nation. This is the first time here of this little outing. And you can be sure when this podcast is over, I'll be calling Susan to get all the details and I will report back. No, you did not tell me about this. I don't know. I, I, I think that it really does depend. But, and I think at our age, maybe it's different. We can be, you know, we don't have those wild, crazy hormones and anger that we had when we were younger.

[Susan]

And maybe we actually.

[Kathy]

Oh, Susan. Maybe we say you're going to give them up.

[Susan]

I just heard from another gentleman that I dated for a very short time, but nice, nice guy just wasn't my guy. And he just reached out to me recently. His daughter's getting married and he wants me to do the wedding. And I'm like, oh, my God, John, I'm so happy to hear from you. I'd love to. Blah, blah, blah, like, it's nice to stay.

[Kathy]

I, I think if you want to. I don't think there's a right or wrong is what I'm saying. If you want to be friends with your exes. A guy that I broke up with recently. I didn't tell you this either. Susan, you're getting this firsthand now, too. A guy that I broke up with, super nice guy. Just again, not my guy. We only had, I don't know, three or four or five dates. Maybe five. And he sent me a picture of his new girlfriend. He said, I'm so happy. You need to meet her. And I said, wait. He said. I said, oh, whatever your name is, congratulations. And I am genuinely happy for him. And I thought I said, oh, that'd be lovely. Someday. It's never happening. Number one, I would never do that to another woman because I don't know what he told her about me. But I here to tell you, he was not happy when I broke up. So, you know. No, I don't do that. I don't do that. I don't do that to other woman.

[Susan]

Here we go.

[Kathy]

We're moving on.

[Susan]

Why would he send you a picture of his new girlfriend after you broke up with him? Just to be like, na, na, na, na, na.

[Kathy]

I. I guess she's an attractive woman. But again, Susan, I'm weird. Good for them. I don't know, like, you didn't want me, but I found this hot woman. Great. I'm happy for him. That's the whole thing. It's like, mazel dove. I'm so happy you found your woman. May you live a long and prosperous life together, just without me.

[Susan]

Do you feel like this is a true statement or not? Is friendship after a breakup more common than it used to be? Because every time back growing up, if people got a divorce, they were taboo. Like, they were worried when they had to do something that the child was graduating. To both be in the same room at the same time. I know there's still people out there like this. However, I think it's not as bad. Maybe just because I'm not as bad.

[Kathy]

Yeah, I think people try. I think it will listen. When my parents got divorced, I was the only kid in my school, literally in my grade. I think divorce now is more normalized. People, you know, they get to know the new girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, whatever. My thing always is when it comes to kids. You have to think about the kids and what will work best for them. And so for that reason, exes. I don't care what you do with your exes, but please pay mine to your children, because they're the ones that pay the price for your divorce.

[Susan]

And you can't just skip and straight to friendship. Right after a breakup, you need some time to heal.

[Kathy]

Well, some do, some don't.

[Susan]

Some do.

[Kathy]

But, you know, we're gonna skip to. I want to skip. We're done. We're done with this conversation. I don't want to talk about people anymore.

[Susan]

No, wait. Especially in the younger CR because there's big crowds of friends. And this one and this one were dating. Well, they're not dating. Anymore. But they're all still in the same group of friends.

[Kathy]

I think that's possible.

[Susan]

Be okay with that?

[Kathy]

Yeah. But I have, again, I think that is different. A young couple dating versus someone who was married. And, you know, now we're at the couple's dinner that meets once a month and, you know, Johnny's bringing his new wife Louise. And Louise, I mean, no. Then I think it's a bit much. So I think it depends on circumstances. But I want to get into our advice. I want to get into our one.

[Susan]

Have you ever reconnected with an ex years later?

[Kathy]

Well, I would again, I was married, so. No. The guy. Oh, the guy.

[Susan]

Wait.

[Kathy]

Wait a minute.

[Susan]

Have a lot of exes.

[Kathy]

The guy. I can. The guy. He doesn't listen to this podcast, but I'm going to tell him he should. The guy that. That I loved in high school and, you know, he had my heart in a. Just forever, in a day until I met my husband. He lives on Cape Cod. He's a journalist. And I. And he writes, and I follow his writings and stuff. And, you know, we talked a little bit. I don't remember how we reached out. He'd written an article. He's a very, very smart guy and a very. He's a published author. He's done a lot of cool stuff in his life.

[Susan]

Blah, blah, blah. Get to the blah, blah, blah.

[Kathy]

He wrote an article and somebody sent it to me, and I just wrote him and said, what a great. And I don't remember what it was about, but it really was well written. We talked just a couple times. He's. He's with a woman. He's happy. Would I ever let her.

[Susan]

That's that we. I don't need the backstory.

[Kathy]

Oh, I would love you read something.

[Susan]

It was well written by him and you reached out.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Wellness Podcast Host Perry Wilson]

Or.

[Kathy]

Yeah, lovely. Well, not. And not him directly, just through the publication. And then he reached back out to

[Susan]

me anyway because, you know.

[Kathy]

But you know what? Yeah, whatever. I mean, again, I don't have it. It is nice. He was a great. He is. And was a great guy. Can we please move on to our

[Susan]

golden hot light next podcast? We're gonna get her some boyfriends so she has something to talk about over here.

[Kathy]

Hey, could we, you know, what could we do? I'm working on it, Susan. As you know. I'm working on it. As we speak, people. As we speak. I'm working on it.

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[Wellness Podcast Host Perry Wilson]

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[Arm and Hammer / Wellness Podcast Host Emily Oster]

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[Wellness Podcast Host Perry Wilson]

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[Arm and Hammer / Wellness Podcast Host Emily Oster]

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[Wellness Podcast Host Perry Wilson]

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[Arm and Hammer / Wellness Podcast Host Emily Oster]

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[Wellness Podcast Host Perry Wilson]

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[Arm and Hammer / Wellness Podcast Host Emily Oster]

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[Wellness Podcast Host Perry Wilson]

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[Arm and Hammer / Wellness Podcast Host Emily Oster]

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[Wellness Podcast Host Perry Wilson]

Listen to Wellness, actually, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kathy]

Dancing with the Stars is Looking for a new pro. And since last season, I came in eighth place, I'm basically an expert. Easy there. I've spent my entire life in the ballroom, so maybe you could use some help. I'm Danielle Fishel. And I'm Val Chmerkovsky. And we have a new podcast called Stepping on Toes with Danielle and Val. Every week we're breaking down Dancing with the Stars, the next pro to find out who I'll be sharing the ballroom with next season. I'll be asking the questions every fan is thinking, and I'll take you behind the choreography, the judging, the performances, and what it takes to compete in front of millions. Plus, we'll be joined by some very special guests. It's time to crown a new Dancing with the Stars pro. So let us be your guides through this once in a lifetime opportunity. Do you think I could win?

[Dietz and Watson Sponsor Voice]

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[Kathy]

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[Kathy]

We answer questions every week, as you all know from our listeners, and we give our expert advice. So, Susan, take out the first one. Can hardly wait for the.

[Susan]

Certainly do. Okay, who is this from? Let me see this. Ah, from Melissa. And guess where she's from, Kathy? Philadelphia.

[Kathy]

Oh, your girl.

[Susan]

All right. My hometown. Okay, I love my boyfriend, but every disagreement somehow ends up with him saying, well, my ex never had a problem with that. He says he's just giving me context. But hearing about his ex during every argument makes me feel like I'm constantly being compared. Yeah, what's the best way to tell him enough is enough? Well, first of all, if anybody ever compared me to his ex, well, I guess I'm soon going to be your ex, too, because you don't get to say that.

[Kathy]

Well, it's funny you said, because what I would have said to him when she said, he's just giving me contact. Serious. No. Well, my ex. Well, my ex never had a problem with that. I would say, you know what? I think you need to go back with your ex, because now we have a problem. Like, I just. I mean. And then I wonder why I'm single. I just would not put up with that. Would you?

[Susan]

I am not your ex. Hello. Meet me. I'm Susan. Yeah. And this I don't like.

[Kathy]

You know, I. Wait, Susan, Why are women. I just had this conversation with another woman the other day. Why are women. This is getting off course a little bit, but work with me. Why are women so afraid to say what they want, what they need, whether it's in the bedroom or the boardroom? Why are women so afraid. You and I would have no problem saying, I'm not your ex, and if you want me to be your ex, keep this up.

[Wellness Podcast Host Perry Wilson]

Right?

[Susan]

That's what we would say with that. I could say that statement now, but when I'm in it and it's early and these things are happening, if I was really, really crushing on this person, bad, I don't know that I would say that right away. I'd come home and call you and say, you're not going to believe this. But to say it straight to him now and I'm older. I think I could, in a very diplomatic, nice way. Don't ever say that again, asshole. I mean.

[Kathy]

Oh, that's very diplomatic, Susan. That's about as. Just making sure you're paying attention. That's out. Right out of south side Philly there. Geez. All right, moving along.

[Susan]

Go to the next.

[Dietz and Watson Sponsor Voice]

Wait.

[Kathy]

I just want to say. I just want to say. It's very simple, Melissa, when you ask, what is the best way to tell them, enough is enough? Melissa, listen to me right into the camera. I am telling you, enough is enough.

[Dietz and Watson Sponsor Voice]

There you go. You just.

[Susan]

Because that's what we would call a red flag. And he's gonna constantly do this and are going to resent him for it.

[Kathy]

Yeah. So enough of that. Okay.

[Susan]

If he really loves you, he'll stop.

[Kathy]

Yeah. And if he doesn't, there's more fish in the sea. We've had this conversation for too. Okay, the next. Next question is from Amanda. And she's from Nashville. Notice how I said that? Nashville.

[Susan]

Yes.

[Kathy]

Like Louisville.

[Susan]

Okay, move on.

[Kathy]

I'm naming cities. All right. My husband and I have been married for nine. Wait. I just want to say this is what happens when I'm in bed for two days.

[Susan]

She's in bed. Oh, my God.

[Kathy]

It's like I can't get talk.

[Susan]

Read, Kathy, read.

[Kathy]

Here we go. Amanda says, my husband and I have been married for nine years, and lately I feel like we've become really good business partners instead. Romantic Partners. Here we go. Bedroom boardroom. Susan, we talk about bills, work, and the kids, but we rarely talk about us anymore. We love each other, but the romance feels like it's disappeared. Is this just a normal season of marriage, or is it something we should be actively trying to fix before it gets worse? I'm going to say, Amanda, you're right on both counts. There are normal seasons of marriage when kids and little League and bake sales and girl Scouts and brownies and Boy Scouts and. And all that stuff takes precedence. But. So, yes, there are some of those seasons, but you have to actively work together to build back up the romance and have date nights and do all those things. It's both. Both are true. What do you think, Susan?

[Susan]

Very, very true. And I think women notice it a lot more than men. Men, it just goes by their head, but you need to spice it up a little bit.

[Kathy]

Wait a minute. What goes by their head?

[Susan]

We're perfect at everything else. But what happens to the romance?

[Kathy]

No, you know what happens to men. They go have an affair.

[Susan]

I think she needs to go out and buy a cute little outfit and get somebody to watch the kids and, you know, spice it up, shock them a little bit. That's very playful.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Susan]

I mean, they recommend things like that in a marriage.

[Kathy]

And I am.

[Susan]

Does get stale. And you're great at working together and you're still in love with each other, as you said. Then I think this would be fun and it would spark it back up.

[Kathy]

And I do think you said men don't care. I think men do care.

[Susan]

Sometimes they don't even notice. I think women's intuition is so spot on. As you know, we feel these things first. We notice them first. We want to talk about it first.

[Kathy]

So tell me. In the guys, several of the guys I've dated, when I asked them what happened in their marriages, I would say 75% of them say there was no more intimacy. And they. It just. So what? Yeah, I think men do notice it. I think they either after they get divorced or they have an affair, and

[Susan]

that comes a whole nother conversation. Menopause destroys women without help. You might not want it. I get it. I get it. But, Amanda, it sounds like you two love each other a lot. Just do something sporadic, you know?

[Kathy]

Yeah, Susan's right. Do something fun and playful. But understand it's not gonna be. When you've got a kid throwing up in the bed next to you, it's not gonna be a passionate night. Okay, It's a little bit of both. But Wish you good luck. And understand that loving each other and talking it through don't just sweep it under the rug. Talk about it with him. Ask. You know, there's nothing wrong with talking about fantasies, doing like Susan said, something just that would blow and bring back a little romance.

[Susan]

And like Kathy said, it is a season of marriage. We do go through dry spells, if you will.

[Kathy]

And when you're over menopause, it's a longer. That's something different.

[Susan]

You know, buy a little outfit and make a reservation. I mean, he's gonna be like, whoa, what's this?

[Kathy]

Champagne.

[Susan]

Go for it. You deserve it.

[Kathy]

And then Susan can come and do a recommitment ceremony.

[Dietz and Watson Sponsor Voice]

All right.

[Kathy]

We love answering your questions clearly. We always have an opinion. You can submit, submit all of your questions, burning or otherwise. To us. It's very easy. All you have to do is go to bachelornation.com golden hour. Come back each week. We love answering your questions. You know, we also want to hear what's going on. Like when we've answered your question right back in and say, hey, here's what happened, or here's what didn't happen. Yeah, let us know. All right, moving on.

[Susan]

Okay, Kathy, here comes your favorite part about the gals Googling it and our slang words of the week, where we break down the slang words that people are using in dating and pop culture. Now, I have to admit, Kathy has recognized quite a few of these words I don't know about today.

[Kathy]

Let's see, I mean, this one, the first one, let her or him cook. It means let her keep going. Trust the process. Don't interrupt because she's onto something. You know, it's often used when someone is making a point, telling a story, flirting, plotting, or doing something that looks questionable at first but might pay off. And to me, that makes perfect sense. Let it cook. Let it go. Let it slide.

[Susan]

They were making a meal.

[Kathy]

Yeah, of course. Susan's like, cook. What are we cooking here? So here's an example. Somebody predicts who's getting the final rose after episode one. Okay. Letter, click cook, meaning, let's see where it goes. Is she going to get it? Or she has a color coded spreadsheet ranking all her hinge matches.

[Dietz and Watson Sponsor Voice]

Yes.

[Kathy]

Let her cook. Like, let it go. Let it run. Let's see where this goes. Okay. She puts together an outfit that looks completely random. Then it somehow looks incredible. Let her cook. Like, it might pay off for wearing this. You know, it's just like, hey, let it go. It's, it's. Let's See where this thing goes. That's, that's how I would. How I would if I had to summarize it. Let's see where this thing goes.

[Susan]

I try to use them too, so I don't forget them.

[Kathy]

Yeah. So my day tomorrow night.

[Susan]

Let him cook.

[Kathy]

We're going to let him cook or I'm going to cook. Somebody's going to cook.

[Susan]

Okay, the next one is girl math. A tongue in cheek Internet trend where people jokingly justify spending money. Oh, this is really illogical logic. Did they put my name next to this on purpose? It means it's menace humor, not actual financial advice.

[Kathy]

I've heard Susan say these things and so this is perfect.

[Susan]

Susan, for you example, if I paid with cash, it was basically free. That means you still don't know returning a $120 dress means. Means I made $120.

[Kathy]

I've heard you say those things. Well, I took it back.

[Susan]

I forgot I ordered it. It's a surprise gift coming from my past self. Well, that you've heard me say.

[Kathy]

Yes, I have.

[Susan]

Anything under $10 doesn't count. I love girl math.

[Kathy]

Yeah, I, I mean Susan. I'm, we're just gonna call Susan girl math from now on.

[Susan]

It's like Kathy, one of Kathy's biggest things. When I said say but I don't have to pay for that airline ticket. I'm using my miles.

[Kathy]

Well, you spent money to get those miles.

[Susan]

You're paying for the ticket. I said, no, I'm not reaching in my pocket and paying for this.

[Kathy]

Susan, that is a perfect example of girl math. You see, you had to spend a hundred twenty dollars on that dress. You had to spend 500 on that trip to the beach. So now you have $620 that you've spent out of your wallet. And now you got 620 miles. Yeah. So you did buy those miles. It is not free. This was. Girl math was made for you, Susan. I can't even.

[Susan]

I'm understanding that. I was going to spend that 600 regardless my life. You spend money, then you get a free airline ticket when you have enough miles but. Or purposely go out and pay for the ticket. I know know where the miles came from. I know I had to spend the money.

[Kathy]

No, here's what, here's Susan's girl math. Here's Susan's girl math. Kathy. I got two for one. I spent 620 on a pair of shoes and I got a free airline ticket. We gotta go. Thanks for joining us on Bachelor Golden Hour.

[Susan]

Absolutely. We have a ball. Make sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you listen to your podcast and

[Kathy]

you can follow Golden Hour on social media, Bachelor Happy Hour and Bachelor Nation. Until next week, do some girl math and have a great week.

[Susan]

Have a great time.

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[Kathy]

Ever.

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was thinking about this the other day. What's something that you'll always say yes to?

[Arm and Hammer / Wellness Podcast Host Emily Oster]

That's easy. Seeing my friends last minute girls trip. Basically making memories you'll talk about for years.

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[Arm and Hammer / Wellness Podcast Host Emily Oster]

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[Arm and Hammer / Wellness Podcast Host Emily Oster]

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[Arm and Hammer / Wellness Podcast Host Emily Oster]

Can I come clean about something? I am definitely not someone who likes doing laundry. Yeah, I don't think there is anyone who does. Whether you put your stinky gym clothes in with your delicate kits, forgot a load of clothes in the washer for a few days, or haven't washed your favorite jeans in far too long, you're not alone. Luckily, Arm Hammer Deep Clean is here to help. Arm Hammer Deep Clean is the powerful shortcut that forgives your own shortcuts. It's made for real life stinking stains. Because it's just laundry, you shouldn't stress over it. And now you don't have to. From the number one liquid detergent brand that tackles more loads than any other. Come clean with Arm and Hammer Deep Clean Number one Claim based on total wash loads sold.

[Wellness Podcast Host Perry Wilson]

Honestly, Honestly, Honestly. No one wants to think about hiv. But there are things that everyone can do to help prevent it. Things like prep. PREP stands for Pre Exposure Prophylaxis, and it means routinely taking prescription medicine before you're exposed to HIV to help reduce your chances of getting it. Prep can be about 99% effective when taken as prescribed. It doesn't protect against other STIs, though, so be sure to use condoms and other healthy sex practices. Ask a healthcare provider about all your prevention Options, and visit findoutaboutprep.com to learn more. Sponsored by Gilead Tyler redick here from 2311 racing the rush of racing. Nothing beats it, but Chumba Casino comes close. Chumba's got fast spins, fun games, daily bonuses, and all the action you can handle. Now that's a ride. Ready to hit the throttle? Get in the driver's seat and head to chumbacasino.com let's Chumba Sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary. VGW Group voidware prohibited by law 21 terms and conditions apply.

[Susan]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.