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Susan
This is an iHeart podcast.
Nancy
Guaranteed Human.
Sponsor Voice
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Susan
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Nancy
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Susan
I've tried out Facetune and it's so fun to see what I look like with different hairstyles and different lighting. I definitely recommend it. Before you make a big change. You can even try out different makeup looks. Facetune can also smooth skin, vanish flyaway hairs and fix whatever your photo needs. It will make your pictures and videos flawless. So even if the lighting is not on your side, Facetune has you covered. Download Facetune free on the App Store or Google Play. If you are looking for a cute new pair of sandals for summer, you have to check out Reef. I have been on the hunt for a perfect pair of flip flops so I was so excited when I got my pair of reefs because not only are they so cute, but they're actually comfortable and exactly what what I've been pinning to my Pinterest board. They have been doing this forever. It's kind of their thing. Flip flops, platforms, slides, premium materials and so stylish. So whatever your vibe is, they have your wardrobe set for everything on the agenda. Styles for the beach, brunch, date night or vacation. They're super comfortable, they look great and you'll feel effortlessly put together. Explore the full collection on reef.com and get 15% off your first purchase
Nancy
this
Kathy
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Sponsor Voice 2
78 while supplies last selection varies by location.
Kathy
See Lowes.com for more details.
Susan
Visit your nearby Lowe's.
Welcome back to Golden Hour.
Kathy
I'm Susan, and that makes me Kathy. How are you doing today?
Susan
Yes, I'm great. I'm great. I'm counting the days to vacation. Like summer's here.
Kathy
Listen, when I come visit you. And for those of you who don't know, Susan has a lovely home, but she has probably one of the most beautiful backyards with a pool that I've ever seen. I want to know, are you going to grill for me when I come visit?
Susan
Most definitely. Most definitely. The next Nancy's joining us for a few days, and I've already reiterated, Nance, you don't like lamb chops, right? No. But you could still make them. I could have something else.
Kathy
And what do I need for dinner, Susan?
Susan
Oh, my gosh. Some vodka and almonds.
Kathy
Don't forget the almond yogurt in the morning.
Susan
Like, she's so easy. Me. That's the only part we're really opposite,
Kathy
because that is true.
Susan
Live for food.
Kathy
Yeah. So yesterday, this is a true story. Susan and I were talking earlier. We were talking about meals, and she literally asked me what I wanted when I come visit her. I said, I don't care. Food is not my thing. I just don't really care about it. And Susan says, well, I mean, you gotta eat three meals. I said, susan, I eat one meal.
Susan
She goes, what?
Kathy
Are you kidding me? I said, well, no. Like, she goes, what'd you have yesterday? I said, I had a yogurt for breakfast, and then late in the afternoon, I had a kale salad with some chicken on it, and that was my food for the day. She goes, you can't be serious. I was like, yeah. She goes, you have to eat three meals. I could never eat three meals.
Susan
I wouldn't survive.
Kathy
I would not survive the Other difference is Susan cooks and I don't. But, you know, everyone's got their.
Susan
I enjoy it.
Kathy
All right, well, this. Let's get to our news.
Susan
Yes, let's do it. We had a big week in Bachelor Nation news. Let's start with my love, my Rachel. Rachel Nance recalls blacking out after traumatic experience working as a nurse. We all know she's a great nurse, and we also all know that nursing is one tough job for me. I could never do it because I would take everybody's problems home with me.
Kathy
Yeah, but can you stand the sight of blood?
Sponsor Voice 2
Yes.
Susan
I cut you open. I'll be there to assist.
Kathy
Yeah, I believe that. Here's the thing. Rachel said that, you know, nursing overstimulates her, and when she's home, she hears hospital alarms, she has a lot of anxiety, heart racing, all those things, you know. I know Rachel not as well as you, but I imagine nursing is very stressful. But we all know medical. The medical world today is stretched thinly, and I'm glad. Rachel, thank you for still being a nurse, because we need more.
Susan
She said that she blacked out during the Pilates.
Kathy
I think this is stress. I think people.
Susan
You sure it wasn't, like, blanked out for a minute and her work was overwhelming her at that moment?
Kathy
I don't know. I wasn't there. But, I mean, I think when you are really stressed and you work out a lot, you can. You can black out. You can, you know, for a minute, I'm not sure it's due to stress. That's. She's a nurse. That's what she seems to think. What I do like, though, is, yay, you, Rachel. You know, you have stress. You know you have anxiety, and you. You get yourself some exercise. Because we all know exercise reduces stress. Anxiety.
Susan
Actually saying that out loud, that's a sign. That's. That's somebody telling you, yeah, you got to do less of something, because if it. If you're taking it home with you, and if it's overwhelming you to the point of, like, try running in my shoes. I talk about stress, but as you say, Kathy, what do you say to me all the time?
Kathy
Slow down.
Susan
You love chaos.
Kathy
Oh, no, Susan does love chaos. Susan loves chaos. And now, apparently in Bachelor News, Susan loves blood. Okay, let's move on to the next one. Carly Waddell posts a message for one of her exes. In your face. I watched this on Instagram. Apparently, she was dating a guy. She said this message was for one of her exes. And she said, I He told her she couldn't get a home or a home loan for a home because she didn't earn enough money to buy herself a home. And she said he made her feel small and stupid. And then she dropped the bomb. Yay you, Carly. That you got approved for the amount and then she's for the home, you know, she. Which, yay you. I'm so glad you got approved for it. And then she goes in your face, she got approved for the loan to buy the house in your face. So here's what I want to say. And I know you have a different opinion. I, I think I. First of all, I'm glad, really, congratulations, Carly, that you qualified because women don't earn you, what is it, 70 cents on the dollar? Women on average earn less than men. So the fact that you earned enough to qualify by yourself for a loan without any co signers, yay you. But I wish you had taken the high road and instead of screaming at your ex on Instagram saying in your face, I wish you had taken the high road and invited him with a printed invitation to the house for me.
Susan
That's what I thought.
Kathy
No, no, no, you had another idea. You were talking about sending photos of the house.
Susan
I'd stand and pose in front of it. Look what I just did.
Kathy
I wanted her to invite him and on the handwritten calligraphy invitation to this housewar, say, I'd love for you to come and see the home that I was approved for with no co signers. Thank you very much.
Susan
That's the same as in your face. I'm hoping, I'm really hoping, Carly, that you were in the moment, you were so excited about getting this loan that you blurted that out in your face.
Kathy
Well, you know, I think we can all take a lesson, which, you know, when I used to teach public speaking to middle schoolers and we talked about Internet, you know, once you put something on the Internet, it's always there. And maybe, maybe Carly doesn't care, but I just love the fact. I wish we could focus on the fact that she qualified for the loan and not smacking him down because really, who cares about him? He's your ex, Carly, we don't care about him.
Susan
He'll figure it out when he sees you in the house.
Kathy
Really? All right, this week we are going to be talking about the situationship, which I know, Susan, you have struggled with this before, but now I'm going to explain a situation. A situationship is a romantic or sexual connection that lacks formal labels, clear boundaries or long term commitment. It exists in the gray area between casual dating and an official relationship. You may act like a couple and share emotional intimacy, but without the title or mutual exclusivity. Okay, so I. I mean, I have never been in a situationship at all. But when we were dating, when we were younger, what was what we call, like, what was the equivalent of a situationship when we were young?
Susan
When you're seeing somebody, you're seeing somebody. What is a situationship? Well, I know you just read it, but it still doesn't make any sense whatsoever. If you're in a romantic or sexual connection that lacks formal labels. In other words, you can't say, okay, we are a couple.
Kathy
No, you're acting like a couple, but you're not putting a label on it. So you're dating someone. This is where couples get into trouble. Or one of one part of the couple, half of the couple. I'm dating this guy. I'm really attracted to him. I want to move to the next thing. And the next thing I'm making this up is living together. But, you know, you got to say, I love you. You got to say, I'm committed to you. You have to say, we're in a relationship. A man or a woman or two men, two women, whatever your taste is, can say, listen, we're going to sleep together. We're going to. But, you know, we're not going to put a label on it. I think that that is a way to not define the relationship. It's. It's what we call what I call having a long lead or a long leash. So. Well, we're not in a relationship. And I met this guy, so, you know, I went home and slept with him. I mean, I think that it is a situationship, to me is a moniker for anything goes because we don't have a label on it.
Susan
Well, I always have that conversation, mostly before sex, that you're not going to be seeing anybody else if you're not seeing anybody else. And I'm just going to say, I'm not seeing anybody else, then. That doesn't give it a title, but it tells us there's a relationship, correct?
Yeah.
Kathy
Yeah. But I. I don't know. I honestly, I can't speak. I mean, I had one serious boyfriend in high school. I can't really speak. And I had situationships. I had male friends, but we weren't having sex. We weren't, you know, making out back in the day. I mean, it just was different. It was. It was more of a, you know, a. At least in the circles I ran, you weren't sleeping around. You know, and remember I got married too young, so I can't really address this.
Susan
Okay, Kathy, what's one dating rule from our generation that would solve half of today's dating problems? How the hell would I retitled it? That's what we weren't on the Internet. There was the grass wasn't greener. Always next, hurry up. Next you just swipe left or right. Back in our time you met somebody when you're out or through a friend or whatever and you, you're seeing each other or you're not your boyfriend and girlfriend or you're not.
Kathy
Well, I don't know that it's a dating rule. I do agree with you that the Internet has made it easy to have a lot of relationship situationships or pure sex, call it whatever you want. But I, I do think that a dating role from our generation when I was younger and you have to speak to this because you weren't married as young as I was, but you didn't date if you were in a relationship with someone, you weren't in a relationship with somebody else. You finished with one before you started another one. Unless you were a slut. And we all knew, we talked about.
Susan
Yes, we talked about not too long ago. Dating, dating more than one person at a time. That's something I never did. I don't think I would like it because I want to focus on the one person.
Kathy
Yeah, but let me, let me, let me say, you know the guy he showed go nameless the one guy who you've met him lives in California. Friend of mine who we dated and he didn't want to date me and we have a great friendship and we joke, you know, we joke about traveling together and you know, sharing a bed and all that. Do you think I often think about this could that situationship which is. We have great talks and I love him dearly, but we don't have sex. Do you think that could ever turn into. I mean, you know him.
Susan
Do you? I think if you live closer to one another that it could very well develop into something because I think he was very into you and you light.
Kathy
He always asks about Nancy.
Susan
Him.
Kathy
He always asks about Nancy. Trust me, I love him. But I.
Susan
What does that have to do with the price of eggs?
Kathy
Because I don't date. I'm not dating a man who wants to date somebody else. Let's be clear.
Susan
Well, who said he wanted to date somebody else?
He.
Kathy
This guy. You met him when we were in Palm Springs.
Susan
I Know who you're talking about.
Kathy
Okay. He. Literally, when we talk on the phone, he'll. If I say I'm coming out to California, you bring in Nancy. I haven't heard from her. He's always asking about Nancy.
Susan
Oh, that's different. Okay. What dating behavior today would have shocked your younger son?
Kathy
Oh, that's so easy for me. Cause I talk about this with my daughter all the time. The fact.
Susan
Hooking up.
Kathy
Hooking up. It's like people have sex on the first date that it's. It sex is part of getting to know someone as opposed to an enhancement for a. For a single, you know, a relationship with somebody.
Susan
Do you think. Okay, I'm sorry, I didn't.
Kathy
No, I'm just saying it's like, it's part of getting to know someone as opposed to. We have such a special relationship, we're ready to take that step. I know so many people who sleep with the guy, the first or second date. They're like, yeah, think anything of it.
Susan
They don't think anything.
Kathy
That is probably the biggest thing.
Susan
Situationships are a result of technology or human nature.
Kathy
I can't. You know, I'm going to take so much heat if I answer this. Okay, everyone. I grew up in New England, you know, where the Puritans landed on Plymouth Rock and everyone dressed with collars up to their, you know, earlobes. I think that, that. I'm not saying it's wrong. I'm saying that the. And it's not. I hate the word that my parents use would be promiscuity. I'm not using that word. I think that people today are so open about sexuality and I'm fine with it. But I think that that has created a such a. What do I want to say? Deep dimension. It's created so many different scenarios. That's really what I want, so many different scenarios. I was talking to someone yesterday who is married. They're in an open marriage. It just, it's too complex for me. That's what I'm saying.
Susan
It's because of our error, too. That's how we were raised. We didn't think that way. If you slept around with, you slept with more than one person, you had a name, a reputation, a bad reputation. Today there's no such thing as a reputation for anybody.
Sponsor Voice
Yeah.
Kathy
Although I don't know. I. I don't. I see. That's right. Say that's puritanical to say those kinds of things. Like a. Call her a slut. That's what we called girls in high school. Who had sex now. Oh my God. Seriously?
Susan
I mean, everybody's a slut.
Nancy
Yeah,
Kathy
good one Susan.
Sponsor Voice
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Susan
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Nancy
Summer is basically here, which means it's time to decide if you want to go blonde, maybe become a redhead or chop your hair short. But before you encounter a hair disaster, try it out in Facetune first and see what it looks like before committing to the change.
Susan
It's a lifesaver I've tried out Facetune and it's so fun to see what I look like with different hairstyles and different lighting. I definitely recommend it. Before you make a big change, you can even try out different makeup looks. Download Facetune free on the App Store or Google Play. If you are looking for a cute new pair of sandals for summer, you have to check out Reef. I have been on the hunt for the perfect pair of flip flops for the summer and I absolutely found them. It is so hard to find a pair that's comfortable and cute, but Reef truly has it all. They've been doing this forever. It's kind of their thing and not just one style or look, they really cover every moment in every outfit. Classic flip flops, comfy styles, chunkier platforms, easy slides. Whatever your vibe is, they have your wardrobe set for everything on the agenda. I've worn them to the beach, to brunch, running errands, even on days when I don't feel like trying but still want to look cute. That is the sweet spot. They're super comfortable, they look great and you'll feel effortlessly put together. No overthinking, just the perfect pairs that do it all. If you don't have your go to sandals for summer yet, Reef has so many styles to choose from, explore the full collection on reef.com and get 15 off your first purchase.
Sponsor Voice 2
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Susan
Yeah, I know I don't need to.
Sponsor Voice 2
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Susan
I'm trusting T Mobile. They have the best network and if we end up in bumtots nowhere, well, we've got two satellites for backup. Whoa.
Sponsor Voice 2
I don't trust my carrier that much.
Susan
We'll just use your phone as a flashlight.
Sponsor Voice 2
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Susan
all right, we're gonna do some story time, missy.
Kathy
Okay, Go for it, slut.
Susan
Okay, Kathy, tell me a time when you ignored. I doubt you're gonna be able to answer this. A red flag because you really like someone.
Kathy
The guy that we talked about earlier that I, what, for 15 minutes?
Susan
That's all?
Kathy
No, I saw the red flag within a week to 10 days. And I spent two and a half months and the. And to me, it was a red flag. But here's the thing. You. You can only ignore. I. You can only ignore a red flag so long, and if. If you. If you see the red flag and you insist on staying on that road, then you, you know, it's your problem. I mean, you really like someone. How's that working for you? I don't have a lot of sympathy for that. I know I'm going to take heat. What do you think?
Susan
No, you're not gonna take heat. You just are who you are. I ignored so many red flag.
Kathy
Has it brought you trouble? Here's the question.
Susan
Not trouble, but sad for them because at the end, I bail. I, you know, I should recognize it
Kathy
and say, oh, no, you do recognize it.
Susan
I do recognize it, but I should walk away, and I don't. I always think I could fix it. I could make it better. And you can't change the color of the flag.
Kathy
So I know you've said this. You just said it. You, you know, it's a red flag. You go down the road anyway. Do you ever see a time where you could not do that, where you would say, you know what? I'm gonna do it differently this time. I'm not gonna go down the road because I see the red flag.
Susan
I say it, but I don't do it.
Kathy
So you don't think you're capable of doing it?
Susan
I don't know if I'm capable.
Kathy
I believe my brain realizes.
Susan
And. And then I. I talk myself into some things. Like I recognize something and say, well, could you. Maybe it's not that bad. Like, that's terrible. Or I'd be alone forever because nobody is perfect out there.
Kathy
Yes, body.
Susan
But everybody has a little bit of a flag.
Kathy
Yes, but there's red flag. We've talked about this. There's a red flag. Oh, God. He always leaves his dishes in the sink and he doesn't pick up his socks, you know? Well, some people think that's A red flag. But, you know, on the phone with his ex girlfriend or there's a lot of other examples I could give are red flags that aren't going to change.
Susan
And I guess that's what you see when somebody's controlling and jealousy. That or you don't have the same value. A red flag, like a physical thing that I think that. That I could make up my mind really quick. It just depends on what it is.
Kathy
Okay, well, I'm going to say, when I say you, I don't mean necessarily you, Susan. If you all out there, if you don't share common values, common beliefs, I'm not talking necessarily religious beliefs, just the way you want to live your life, work ethic. If you don't share those things, that's a red flag. And it's not going to change. I don't care how much you like the person. So I'm not as generous of spirit because I feel like, especially at our age, once you see red flags and you keep going down the same road, it's like, do you ever learn your lesson? Not you, Susan. I'm not saying this at you. Do people ever. I know so many people our age and they keep doing the same thing, and then they're like, I'm never going to find someone. I'm like, well, you know, you keep drawing water from the same well. Keep doing what you've been doing. Here's my proof.
Susan
Living.
Kathy
Here's my line. Susan. Keep doing what you've been doing, you're going to keep getting what you've been getting.
Susan
Remember that saying, if you keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, that's the definition of insanity.
Kathy
Yeah. Well, speaking of insanity, here we go. We're going to do some fill in the blank and see what we come up with.
Susan
A mini little game. Here we go.
Kathy
Here we go. All right. If someone says they're not ready for a relationship, they really mean they're just
Susan
not that into you.
Kathy
Thank you. I agree.
Susan
Okay. The biggest red flag in modern dating is
Kathy
too many choices. The Internet dating apps. I don't know. That's. I. I don't know.
Susan
Yes, good. First thing that comes to mind, that's the whole idea of a game.
Kathy
I know, right? If. Oh, if I haven't met your friends by month three, I'm concerned. Yeah. I would say if I haven't met your. Not yours, but if I'm dating a guy, if I haven't met your friends by month three, I'm probably not going to Be your girlfriend very long or
Susan
you don't have any. Okay. A situation become a relationship.
Kathy
When both of you agree to commit and put a label on the relationship.
Susan
Communication baby.
Kathy
Okay. The phrase I. Good for you. Good luck on this one, Susan. The phrase I never want to hear from a man again is,
Susan
I'm a deer in headlights right now. I, I was gonna.
Kathy
I love that.
Susan
I was gonna.
Kathy
I, I, I, I would add to that one. I used to.
Susan
Okay. The most confusing thing about dating today
Kathy
is for me, people say they want one thing and they really want something else.
Susan
So true. So true. We can write a book, I think.
Kathy
I know we could both write a book. But in the meantime, we're gonna answer questions from our listeners. All right, I'm gonna go with the first one here. I've been dating someone for a few months, and things are good. But I've noticed that whenever something bothers me, I hesitate to bring it up because I don't want to seem difficult. I end up brushing things off, but then they build up over time. How do I get better at communicating without feeling like I'm rocking the boat? This is from Kelsey in Dallas. What do you think, Susan?
Susan
A few months and things are good. When stuff.
Kathy
This sounds like you.
Susan
No, not anymore. I bring it up, though.
Kathy
Okay.
Susan
That was the old me. Because what happens in my relationships, I end up resenting people. And it's mostly because I didn't communicate what I was feeling. Like I'm not good with this. When you're doing these things, I get. I'm not blaming them for doing something. However, they need to know what I feel.
Kathy
Yeah.
Susan
And it bothers me certain things.
Kathy
Well, well, Kelsey says, how do I get better at communicating without feeling like I'm rocking the boat? See, that's the problem. Kelsey, you are a smart woman. No doubt. And you are an equal partner in this relationship. So to use your metaphor, both people should have their oars in the water, rowing. And if you're doing all the rowing. Yeah, not good. So I would tell you, bring it up to him, because otherwise, like, a bitch way.
Susan
Just say, I gotta talk to you about something. Like, be nice about it, but if you don't, you'll end up resenting him.
Kathy
Yep, that's good.
Susan
Let things go. And they repeat and they repeat. That's what happens.
Kathy
Yeah. So go ahead and rock the boat.
Susan
All right. This one's from Gabriella from New Orleans. I'm seeing someone who is really fun and exciting, but I've started to notice that a lot of our Connection revolves around going out, drinking and being social. When it's just the two of us in a quieter setting, it feels a little less natural. Is that something that can grow or is it a sign the connection is more surface level? It feels a little less natural when
Kathy
you're alone, I think so. What I'm hearing from Gabriella is she's seen someone who is really fun and exciting. She isn't saying, I'm seeing someone who is caring and considerate.
Susan
Party guy. Yeah, yeah.
Kathy
But she's. But she says, I've started to notice that a lot of our connection. That's probably the aura she's giving off. She's a party girl. And if you're not that way, Gabriela, if you're drinking, partying with him, that's the message you've sent him, that that's the kind of relationship you want. You decide.
Susan
But what do you suggest she does in a quieter setting? Well, when you're in a quieter setting, it should be less.
Kathy
But that's what I'm saying. I think she likes the excitement. And when they're alone. When you're alone, Gabriela, it should be quieter and calmer and a time to reflect on each other and what you want out of a relationship, which could be a situationship. But I'm saying she asked, is that
Susan
something that can grow? Why? It only grows if they want control. To be alone with somebody, that's the best part. You talk about the fun you had, you talk about what you're going to do next. You make love, you make each other food. Like that's.
Kathy
I'm guessing Gabriella is struggles. She's much better in a party atmosphere than she is one on one. I think Gabriela, this may be something you need to work on because if you're feeling unnatural, that's another word for that is uncomfortable. And it tells me that you probably don't know how to deal in a one on one situation calmly and lovingly. Not that you don't aren't that person. You just probably more of your time has been spent partying, drinking, socializing, throwing darts, playing pool.
Susan
They're great when you're out and about and having a great time and then you go home together. That, that's, that's important too.
Kathy
Yeah, but maybe she's nervous. Gabriella, you sound like you're a little nervous, so try it. You know, try coming home and having a conversation. Maybe instead of going out, say, why don't we cook a meal? Try being. Learning to be more comfortable with spending time Alone with your guy and see if he. If. Then you write back in and say, not only is this guy fun and exciting, but I've seen a caring, comfortable side. We have so much fun laughing together and sharing stories. Building a better relationship with each other instead of a party atmosphere. There you go, Gabriela. Good luck. Let us know. Okay, the next one is from Anna or Anna from Orlando. I've been dating this guy for two months and everything has been really consistent. He texts me every day, plans dates in advance, and even introduced me to a few of his friends. But recently he went on a trip with his friends and barely texted me the entire time. When he got back, he acted totally normal, like nothing changed. Am I overreacting for feeling weird about the sudden shift in communication? Oh, what do you think?
Susan
No, that's perfectly normal. Human. He's the one that texts you all the time. And I would have to say to him, can I. I'm really glad you had a good time with your friends. However, it felt pretty shitty that you didn't communicate. I'm not expecting you.
Kathy
She did communicate.
Susan
He.
Kathy
She said he barely texted. So.
Susan
Yes, that's what I'm saying.
Kathy
Oh, I. I think, I think if you're on a girls trip or a guy, again, we don't know what barely means. Maybe he sends. Maybe. Anna, he texts every day.
Susan
Normally.
Kathy
Yeah, maybe he sends long texts and maybe the text while he was on vacation was, hey, sweetie, miss you. That's in my book. That would be enough if he reached out.
Susan
Let's touch base. That's all. Good night or good morning.
Kathy
And I bet he did that. Yeah, I bet he did that. So, Anna, I think you're feeling a little. If he's texting you all the time when he's around and you're home, I think you're probably open overreacting on this one. But you know, if you feel. It's not a sudden shift, by the way, it was just a shift while he was on vacation with his friends.
Susan
And a lot of times men, like, if they see other men texting constantly, they're going to start getting. Making fun of them. We're to going, you whipped or blah blah, blah, blah, blah.
Kathy
So just relax. Yeah, just relax. But you know, wait and see if it goes back to normal. If it doesn't go back, then you have a conversation. Then you have a conversation about it. All right, you all, please submit your questions. We love answering them. We love your comments and your questions. It's very easy to do all you have to do. Is go to bachelonation.com golden hour and then come back and listen to us each week and see if we answer yours.
Susan
Absolutely. Alrighty. Oh, here we go. Kathy and I are back with the gals. Google it. It's where we break down the slang words that people are using in dating and pop culture. And as you all know, if you've been listening, I have not been up to date with these things. I don't even agree with a lot of them.
Kathy
But okay, this one. I'm gonna have a lot to say about this one.
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Susan
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Nancy
Summer is basically here, which means it's time to decide if you want to go blonde, maybe become a redhead or chop your hair short. But before you encounter a hair disaster, try it out in Facetune first and see what it looks like before committing to the change. It's a lifesaver.
Susan
I've tried out Facetune and it it's so fun to see what I look like with different hairstyles and different lighting. I definitely recommend it. Before you make a big change, you can even try out different makeup looks. Download Facetune free on the App Store or Google Play. If you are looking for a cute new pair of sandals for summer, you have to check out Reef. I have been on the hunt for the perfect pair of flip flops for the summer and I absolutely found them. It is so hard to find a pair that that's comfortable and cute, but Reef truly has it all. They've been doing this forever. It's kind of their thing. And not just one style or look. They really cover every moment in every outfit. Classic flip flops, comfy styles, chunkier platforms, easy slides. Whatever your vibe is, they have your wardrobe set for everything on the agenda. I've worn them to the beach, to brunch, running errands, even on days when I don't feel like trying but still want to look cute. That is the sweet spot. They're super comfortable, they look great and you'll feel effortlessly put together. No overthinking, just the perfect pairs that do it all. If you don't have your go to sandals for summer yet, Reef has so many styles to choose from, explore the full collection on reef.com and get 15 off your first purchase.
Sponsor Voice 2
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Susan
Yeah, no, I don't need to.
Sponsor Voice 2
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Susan
I'm trusting T Mobile. They have the best network and if we end up in bumtots nowhere, well, we've got T Satellite for backup. Whoa.
Sponsor Voice 2
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Susan
We'll just use your phone as a flashlight.
Sponsor Voice 2
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Kathy
this first one is called micro cheating. Okay. It and what that is. It's small behaviors that feel like cheating, but if it feels like cheating, it is. I'm just jumping the gun here. Flirty dms, et cetera. So do you know if you're in a relationship, Susan? Cheating is cheating. This micro cheating, it's like, you know, it's like I'm on a diet except I eat ice cream every night at six. No, you're not on a diet, right?
Susan
No. It says, do you think it's okay to like a photo of the opposite sex when you're in a relationship? Abso freaking lutely. It's okay. Why wouldn't it be okay?
Kathy
It depends. That's a too broad a question for me. If you're liking a micro cheat to me would be. And I'm guessing most people think this is hunky dory. Fine. To me it would depend on what the micro cheating is. If it's. Hey, I just called. I just texted my ex girlfriend because, you know, I heard that, you know, her brother was in town and we used to play basketball together. That's a micro cheat. Yeah. That's pissing me off.
Susan
That's cheating.
Kathy
If you're texting your ex girlfriend, I don't care if you're texting her because the world's coming to an end in an hour. I'm not interested. That's cheating.
Susan
If you're texting an ex girlfriend, that is not cheating.
Kathy
No way.
Susan
Cheating is actually doing something with someone.
Kathy
No micro cheating. Like a flirty dm. I'm okay, Susan, I'm. You're in a relationship with John. I'm making it up. Yeah, and John is sending a little flirty DM to Louise, who we met in a bar.
Susan
Where do you come up with these names?
Kathy
Because I don't want to use anyone I know.
Susan
Do you hear me? Surely.
Kathy
Is that. Is that cheating? Yes, you will say that oh, oh, good. I'll remind you.
Susan
To me, cheating is maybe that's not right. I'll give you that, but I wouldn't call it cheating.
Kathy
It's micro cheating. It's not. It's not cheating.
Susan
I am not good with the lingo. Micro shit cheating.
Kathy
I think you're gonna cheat.
Susan
You're gonna cheat. That's bad, Mike. That's like having a desire to be with somebody.
Kathy
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You said if you're going to cheat. Where's your line? What constitutes cheating to you actually going
Susan
with somebody else when you're with. In a relationship?
Kathy
Going where?
Susan
To bed to kiss on a date. Like that's cheating.
Kathy
If. If. Okay, I'm going to set a scenario for. You're dating Tom and Louise works with Tom and he's brought up Louise a few times, but he insists there's nothing going on. And then you find out that he had coffee with Louise and he says, oh, it was nothing. We just took our break together. It was like 10 minute coffee break. Are you pissed off?
Susan
Yeah, probably.
Kathy
Yeah, that's. That would be a micro cheat. He didn't go to. You said it was going to bed having sex.
Susan
Okay.
Kathy
That would be a micro cheat.
Sponsor Voice
God, I'm not going to this lingo.
Susan
So here's a good one.
Kathy
Wait a minute. I have one more question. Why do you think. Because I think the good, the bad and the ugly. Why do you think micro cheating is okay with so many people? Because I guarantee you with. With the. The Gen Xers and all that, it's fine. Why do you think it is?
Susan
They're in situationships. Exactly.
Kathy
That. That they. They. That's the good and the bad and the ugly that the good is you get with a lot of people, maybe have sex with a lot of people, maybe go on dates. You're married, you get to sleep with somebody else. But all of that then somehow gets complicated and now we're into micro cheats and maxi cheats.
Susan
Too many words.
Kathy
Exactly. All right.
Susan
I love this one. Double texting. It's when you send another message when they haven't responded it to the first.
Kathy
I've done it.
Susan
I mean, do you double or even triple text? Hell yeah. If you're not answering me, I'm trying to get your damn attention. It's important.
Kathy
Why just call them?
Susan
Susan, why do you think double texting gets a bad rap in the dating to me?
Kathy
If. If, If. If a guy texted me and I answered and he didn't answer back, I got. Well, obviously I didn't Pique his attention. So now I send a second text or a third text. The reason that it has a bad rep, it's, hey, Susan, stop texting him. If he's interested in you, he'll respond, cool your heels.
Susan
Or something came up. Somebody came to the door. And we always assume the worst. I'm guilty.
Kathy
My point is, cool your heels and wait for the text. But you know why people don't. You know why it has a bad rep? One word. Desperate.
Susan
Jealousy. Desperate.
Kathy
It makes you look desperate.
Susan
And you know what? To be honest with you, when somebody does it to me, I get annoyed. I do it to you, I get annoyed.
Kathy
Susie gets annoyed with me for the littlest thing. But see, it's different. I'll text you, and if you don't answer, I'm calling you. Answer your damn text, Susan. I don't know.
Susan
Boy, 2026. I'm glad I'm alive for it. I'm in shock about these micro cheating, double texting situations.
Kathy
I want to be ship. I want to be in a situationship so that I can microchip, micro cheat, be microchipped and start double texting. Because apparently.
Susan
And I'll double text you when you do.
Kathy
We haven't been living if we're not micro cheating or in a situationship. Susan, we are missing something. This should be our goal for 2026. We're each going to get into a situationship.
Susan
I'm gonna put an ad out. Okay, everybody, thanks again for joining us at Bachelor's golden hour.
Kathy
We loved. We loved answering your questions. We love learning new Google words for slang words of the week. We're going to keep learning them and in the meantime, make sure to rate, review, and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.
Susan
Absolutely. And you know what to do. Just follow golden hour on social media at Bachelor Happy Hour and at Bachelor Nation and we'll see you next time.
Kathy
Yeah. Have a great week.
Sponsor Voice
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Nancy
Summer is basically here, which means it's time to decide if you want to go blonde, maybe become a redhead or chop your hair short. But before you encounter a hair disaster, try it out in Facetune first and see what it looks like before committing to the change range. It's a lifesaver. Facetune lets you try color, length or style on virtually any photo. It even works on reels and TikToks so you can see how you'd look as a blonde before you reach for the hair dye or hit that salon chair.
Susan
I've tried out Facetune and it's so fun to see what I look like with different hairstyles and different lighting. I definitely recommend it. Before you make a big change, you can even try out different makeup looks. Facetune can also smooth skin, vanish flyaway hairs and fix whatever your photo needs needs. It will make your pictures and videos flawless. So even if the lighting is not on your side, Facetune has you covered. Download Facetune free on the App Store or Google Play. Hey question. Are you an ExtraCare member at CVS? Because there's literally no reason not to be. It's super easy to join and members instantly get extra big deals on the things you buy most. I mean this is the stuff you're already buying. Snacks, personal care products, all of it. It and after you join the savings just start to show up. Deals refresh every two weeks, but they don't last long. Head to your local CVS or open the CVS app, look for extra big deals and start saving today. If you are looking for a cute new pair of sandals for summer, you have to check out Reef. I have been on the hunt for a perfect pair of flip flops so I was so excited when I got my pair of reefs because not only are they so cute, but they're actually comfortable and exactly what I've been pinning to my Pinterest board. They have been doing this forever. It's kind of their thing. Flip flops, platforms, slides, premium materials and so stylish. So whatever your vibe is, they have your wardrobe set for everything on the agenda. Styles for the beach, brunch, date night or vacation. They're super comfortable, they look great and you'll feel effortlessly put together. Explore the full collection on reef.com and get 15% off your first purchase.
Nancy
Can I come clean about something? I am definitely not someone who likes doing laundry. Yeah, I don't think there is anyone who does. Whether you put your stinky gym clothes in with your delicates, forgot a load of clothes in the washer for a few days, or haven't washed your favorite jeans in far too long. You're not alone. Luckily, Arm and Hammer Deep Clean is here to help. Arm and Hammer Deep Clean is the powerful shortcut that forgives your own shortcut cuts. It's made for real life stinking stains because it's just laundry. You shouldn't stress over it. And now you don't have to. From the number one liquid detergent brand that tackles more loads than any other. Come clean with Arm and Hammer Deep Clean. Number one claim based on total wash loads sold.
Susan
This is an iHeart podcast.
Nancy
Guaranteed Human.
July 2, 2026 | Bachelor Nation - iHeartPodcasts and Warner Bros
In this lively “Golden Hour” episode of Bachelor Happy Hour, Kathy and Susan get real about the world of modern dating—specifically “situationships,” ambiguous relationships without clear labels. They unpack current Bachelor Nation news, reminisce about their own dating eras, and field listener questions on navigating tricky modern romances. Along the way, they wittily debate everything from “micro-cheating” to double-texting, offering both humor and hard-earned wisdom to listeners of all ages.
Rachel Nance’s Nursing Stress (04:56–06:46)
Carly Waddell’s Instagram Victory Over Her Ex (07:09–09:47)
Definition and Generational Differences (09:49–12:55)
Rule From Their Generation (12:55–13:58)
What Would Shock Younger Selves (15:32–15:57)
Is This Technology or Human Nature? (16:15–17:47)
Kelsey from Dallas—Avoiding Conflict (28:25–30:10)
Gabriella from New Orleans—Surface-Level Connection? (30:14–32:44)
Anna from Orlando—Diminished Communication on His Trip (32:44–34:55)
Micro Cheating (40:40–43:44)
Double Texting (44:38–45:51)
On Old School Dating vs. Today:
“You finished with one before you started another one. Unless you were a slut. And we all knew, we talked about.” – Kathy (13:22)
On Labeling Relationships:
“A situationship is a moniker for ‘anything goes’ because we don’t have a label on it.” – Kathy (11:04)
On Red Flags:
“You can’t change the color of the flag.” – Susan (23:54)
“Keep doing what you’ve been doing, you’re going to keep getting what you’ve been getting.” – Kathy (26:18)
On Modern Dating Frustrations:
"2026. I'm glad I'm alive for it. I'm in shock about these micro cheating, double texting situations." – Susan (46:01)
On Micro Cheating:
“If you’re texting your ex girlfriend, that is not cheating.” – Susan (41:55)
“That would be a micro cheat. He didn’t go to… Going where?” – Kathy (43:12)
On Listener Letters:
“Both people should have their oars in the water, rowing.” – Kathy (29:27)
| Segment | Time | |------------------------------------------------------|--------------| | Opening & Bachelor News | 03:20–09:47 | | Defining Situationships & Generational Comparison | 09:49–15:41 | | Modern Dating Shockers | 15:32–17:47 | | Ignoring Red Flags: Story Time | 22:37–25:11 | | Rapid-Fire Dating Game | 26:38–28:22 | | Listener Q&A | 28:25–34:55 | | “Gals Google It”: Dating Slang (Micro Cheating, etc) | 35:31–46:01 |
Kathy and Susan’s candid, sometimes irreverent humor creates an engaging space for dissecting the ever-changing landscape of relationships. They challenge the murky waters of “situationships,” lament today’s abundance of choices, and provide both encouragement and caution—especially around open communication in relationships. The episode is full of laughs, a bit of cultural nostalgia, and wisdom straight from women who’ve “seen it all.”
For listeners seeking relatable, unfiltered dating advice and reflections on how dating has (and hasn’t) changed, this episode of “Golden Hour” offers honest insights, plenty of memorable moments, and a hearty dose of Bachelor Nation spirit.