Kathy & Susan Help You Navigate Loneliness | Golden Hour

Summary

Bachelor Happy Hour: Golden Hour

Episode Title: Kathy & Susan Help You Navigate Loneliness | Golden Hour
Release Date: March 6, 2026
Hosts: Susan & Kathy

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Episode Overview

In this episode of Bachelor Happy Hour: Golden Hour, fan-favorites Kathy and Susan address the nuanced topic of loneliness versus being alone—especially in the golden years. Drawing from personal experiences and listener questions, they explore how to distinguish between healthy solitude and isolating loneliness, offer advice for transitioning life stages, and validate the emotional complexity of seeking connection or solitude at various life points. Their candid, supportive, and at times humorous conversation brings warmth and wisdom to a subject often difficult to discuss.

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Main Themes & Discussion Points

Difference Between Loneliness and Being Alone

• Being Alone: Framed as "powerful" and often a time for reflection and self-discovery.
  • Quote (Susan, 04:40): “Being alone is powerful.”
  • Quote (Kathy, 05:11): “It's having time to reflect on yourself, reflect on your situation, finding your own strengths, celebrating yourself.”
• Loneliness: Seen as “sad” and often linked to a lack of connection, sometimes even when surrounded by people.
  • Quote (Kathy, 05:07): “Loneliness to me is sad.”
  • Quote (Susan, 10:44): “You feel lonely in a crowded room, like we just said, in a relationship or surrounded by family. If you don't feel seen, understood, or valued, loneliness hurts.”

Learning to Be Alone Versus Combating Loneliness

• Skill Development: Being comfortable by oneself is a learned trait, not an innate one (06:55).
• Life Transitions: Empty nesting, bereavement, and retirement can catalyze feelings of loneliness, but are also opportunities to cultivate self-reliance and new interests (05:28, 08:02).
• Advice for Lonely Listeners: Open communication with friends, family, or community is vital; isolation exacerbates loneliness (06:40).
  • Quote (Susan, 06:40): “Talk to people, communicate... Don't isolate yourself.”

Community & Connection in Golden Years

• Staying Engaged: It’s important to “force yourself to get out” and join groups or find community to prevent chronic loneliness (09:38, 09:52).
• Physical Health Link: Acknowledgement that studies show loneliness in older adults correlates to negative health outcomes (09:52).

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Listener Questions & Practical Advice

Q1: Coping When Friends Disperse (Anonymous, 11:25)

• Scenario: Friends moving away, difficulty making new connections; left with only a spouse for company.
• Hosts’ Advice:
  • Join new activities as a couple (12:13, 13:26).
  • Cherish old friends but make new ones (“make new friends and keep the old” - 13:52).
  • Normalize sadness and encourage visits to faraway friends for continued connection (14:08).

Q2: Supporting Parents Through Empty Nest (Anonymous, 20:05)

• Scenario: Youngest leaving home, wants to help emotionally support parents.
• Hosts’ Advice:
  • Frequent communication is the best gift (“Call mom”—21:09).
  • Leave notes, texts, and reminders of gratitude (20:46).
  • Let parents know their support and emotions are valued while also setting boundaries for personal growth (21:56).
  • Recognize that parental sadness is a reflection of love (22:37).

Q3: Struggling to Enjoy Alone Time When Partner Needs It (Charlotte, 23:40)

• Scenario: Extrovert learning to spend time alone due to introverted partner.
• Hosts’ Advice:
  • Encourage embracing solo activities as a means of self-discovery (26:46).
  • Recount personal experiences of traveling alone and its empowering effect, despite initial discomfort (27:26–28:57).
  • Normalize needing a “fix” of company, but stress the importance of learning to enjoy your own company.

Q4: Preferring Solitude over Socializing (Kennedy, 34:25)

• Scenario: Prefers downtime while friends are socially active; wonders if it’s normal or isolating.
• Hosts’ Advice:
  • Balance is key—ask yourself whether you occasionally join friends or always decline (35:35, 36:24).
  • Carefully self-assess if solitude is healthy or veers into isolation (36:24, 37:14).
  • Remind that too many declined invitations may lead to being left out of future plans (37:00).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the power of solitary growth:
  “Being alone is about circumstance... Loneliness is about connection. It’s emotional.” — Susan, quoting her online research (10:27–10:44)
• Reassurance to those in transition:
  “What you’re feeling, everybody is feeling. It’s like walking to a cocktail party where you don’t know anybody...” — Kathy (13:26)
• On introvert-extrovert relationships:
  “I never understood. [My husband] would say to me, ‘I need time alone. I need to recharge.’” — Kathy (25:29)
• Advice for checking in on isolation vs. solitude:
  “Sit down in your alone time and maybe, you know, look at your schedule. How much time are you alone? How much time are you devoting to others?” — Kathy (37:28)

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Hosts' Personal Stories & Reflections

• Kathy’s Empty Nest & Bereavement: How becoming alone after her children left and after her husband’s death turned into self-growth with time (06:00, 08:02).
• Susan’s Solo Travel Story: Traveling alone to Italy for 15 days, initially afraid but ultimately feeling empowered and proud (27:26–29:02).
• Daily Alone Time Rituals:
  • Kathy: Enjoying quiet mornings, reading, needlepoint, gardening (38:28–39:29, 40:27).
  • Susan: Self-care days, productive chores, and relaxing solo activities (39:29).

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:19] – Show proper begins: greetings and personal updates
• [04:07] – Introduction of episode theme: loneliness vs. being alone
• [06:24] – Audience Q&A segment begins
• [11:25] – First listener question (friends moving away)
• [20:05] – Second listener question (empty-nesting parents)
• [23:40] – Third listener question (learning to be alone with introverted partner)
• [34:25] – Fourth listener question (preferring solitude)
• [38:18] – Hosts share their ideal "day alone"
• [41:09] – Final reflections and encouragement

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Takeaway Messages

• Being alone and feeling lonely are distinctly different—one can be enriching, the other painful.
• Regular honest self-reflection helps determine whether solitude is healthy or verging into isolating patterns.
• Connection, in-person or digital, is vital at every life stage, and seeking out new community may require proactive effort.
• Learning to enjoy one’s own company is empowering and can offer unique opportunities for self-discovery.
• "Don't be lonely. If you are feeling that, remove yourself from that situation. Do something about it." — Susan (43:45–43:57)

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Closing Encouragement

Kathy and Susan urge listeners to examine their relationship with solitude and loneliness, seek connection as needed, and relish the gift of alone time as a chance to discover themselves again or anew.

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For future questions or advice, listeners are encouraged to write in at bachelornation.com/goldenhour.

Transcript

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[Susan]

Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours golden hour. Thanks so much for joining us. We're so excited to be back, aren't we, Kathy?

[Kathy]

Always excited to see you, Susan, but here I've got issues like, when am I going to see you again? I need a haircut.

[Susan]

I'm. Soon. Very soon. I'm packing this year. Aren't we going to California? We're going to meet.

[Kathy]

Okay.

[Susan]

The end of the month.

[Kathy]

We are. We're gonna.

[Susan]

For my big birthday.

[Kathy]

Kathy, it's not your big birthday, honey. It's a year. It's not big, it's huge. Oh, my God. She's turning 69. Get over it. Next year when your 70th birthday. We're planning a trip.

[Susan]

No. Yeah. I better be somewhere far. I'm not turning 70, though. I decided I'm gonna celebrate the anniversaries of my 69th birthday.

[Kathy]

No, you're not. No, you.

[Susan]

Yes.

[Sponsor/Advertiser Voice]

Forever.

[Kathy]

70 was fine.

[Susan]

That'll count backwards. I'll go there.

[Kathy]

Age is just a number, Susan. All right, well, since age is just a number today, this is. I love these episodes because today we're going to answer more of your questions. Fan questions. And these might get a little tough because they're all about loneliness versus being alone.

[Susan]

And let me.

[Kathy]

What do you think the difference?

[Susan]

There's opposites almost. I mean, there is such a huge difference in those two words.

[Kathy]

Yeah. Tell me what you think.

[Susan]

Being alone is powerful.

[Kathy]

Sometimes I think I just fell in love with you all over again.

[Susan]

Watch this, people. She's going to agree today.

[Kathy]

No, it's true. I agree.

[Susan]

It is. It's very powerful.

[Kathy]

It is very powerful. It's time for reflection.

[Sponsor/Advertiser Voice]

Yeah.

[Kathy]

Okay. And loneliness is.

[Susan]

Sad. Feeling sorry for yourself.

[Kathy]

Loneliness to me is sad.

[Susan]

It is Sad.

[Kathy]

It's sad. That's the difference. Being alone, to me, I can't even believe you said that. It is powerful. It's. It's having time to reflect on yourself, reflect on your situation, finding your own strengths, celebrating yourself.

[Susan]

Loneliness, Kathy, if it's too long of a stretch. Yeah, I could see it turning into loneliness. Like, as we go on, we'll hear different questions, but some people were so involved and they have big families. And then the ones that go through, like you did a little bit, the empty nest when they went to college and all you felt like that was loneliness.

[Kathy]

That was loneliness. I was very sad that my kids left, but.

[Susan]

And when my husband died, it's part of them growing.

[Kathy]

That's right. When my husband died.

[Susan]

Now, that.

[Kathy]

That was loneliness, horrible loneliness. But, you know, God has a way. I've learned to be alone and celebrate it, and I've gotten to know myself better. And so, yeah, it's from a point of strength. So I can't wait. All right, here we go. I just. I love that we agree.

[Susan]

You love the question of the day.

[Kathy]

Here we go with the question, and I'm going to start it off with a question of the day. What advice, Susan, do you have to anyone, especially in their golden years, that are having trouble being alone?

[Susan]

Talk to people, communicate with. You have to have a friend out there. Just share it with your family, with your kids, with your pastor, with your church, whoever. Talk about it. Don't isolate yourself.

[Kathy]

That's the word. I think so. I think when people say have trouble being alone, we just talked about that. It's good to learn to be alone. I think it's a learned characteristic. It's a learned trait. We're not born with that. We're born, I think, to be social humans, to be in groups, community. That's what we're. That's what we're, I think, born to do. But I think what you said earlier, if. If you learn how to be alone, it gives you strength. So for me, I had to learn

[Susan]

it, Kathy, because I always had a house full. I always had company. It was always chaos, chaos, chaos. And I love chaos when it's having a good time. Then I moved out on my own, and I was so fearful of being by myself. I grew to love it, but it took time. It was an adjustment. Just like people that are feeling sad when their families are gone or, God forbid, they lost children and they had nobody. How about the ones that never had children and their spouse passes? You're alone.

[Kathy]

Yeah, I think I think this question is interesting because it really does underscore the question of loneliness or being alone. I think people in their golden years sometimes feel alone and sometimes feel loneliness and loneliness. You have to get out, you have to meet people, you have to join groups. You have to find community somewhere. But being alone is learning how to be introspective, learning how to occupy yourself without needing others. Whether it's reading a book, gardening, needle pointing, Bible study, whatever it is.

[Susan]

And it won't be every day, you might get those feelings. But loneliness. To me, the word depression comes in. If you're feeling loneliness, I feel like you're sad, like you said, or depressed or. Right.

[Kathy]

Yeah, I think so. Yeah. So I agree with you. So I think my advice is you have to determine whether you feel alone or whether you're feeling loneliness.

[Susan]

And, you know, there's people that are married that feel lonely.

[Kathy]

That's right. Because they're not connecting with their partner.

[Susan]

Right, right.

[Kathy]

So I think we all need connection. I think we all need community. And as we get older, at least for me, it's harder to join. You know, like, I'm not. I've gone to bars with friends and stuff. I join. I go to needlepoint groups once in a while. But, you know, it gets harder, more difficult.

[Susan]

You don't want to do it by yourself.

[Kathy]

Exactly. You know, you know, it's like, oh, geez, I got to do this again by myself, so. But I do think you're. You hit on something, Susan. Loneliness in the golden years, it's not a good thing. It's not. You got to force yourself to get out. Research has shown that loneliness, people being alone and not having community really does cause earlier death early. You know, it. It causes problems.

[Susan]

You know, I'm very curious what, like, Chat has to say.

[Kathy]

Oh, did you ever look it up? Not. Don't look at Chat. Gbt. Look at Gemini. We support Google here. Gemini.

[Susan]

But I do think this versus being alone.

[Kathy]

Yeah. Are you going to read to me?

[Susan]

Just curious. Being alone is about circumstance. It's physical. You might be by yourself, reading, traveling things.

[Kathy]

What I say, that's what we said.

[Susan]

And loneliness is about connection. It's emotional.

[Kathy]

You know what?

[Susan]

You feel lonely in a crowded room, like we just said, in a relationship or surrounded by family. If you don't feel seen, understood, or valued, loneliness hurts.

[Kathy]

Yeah. And that's what's not good. That is what's not good. Being alone is not necessarily negative, but when you're lonely, that's really being seen.

[Susan]

That was. That's that's really something. All right.

[Kathy]

All right.

[Susan]

Now it's time to answer some of our fan questions. Wait.

[Kathy]

I think some of these are going to be about being alone and being lonely. What do you think?

[Susan]

This is the topic for today? Okay, I'll take the first one. And this is from Anonymous.

[Kathy]

All right.

[Susan]

Hi, Kathy and Susan. I'm struggling right now and could really use your help. How did you handle the transition from living around your friends to reaching a level of adulthood where you all go your own way? Excuse me. I'm experiencing that right now. I finally reached that point where all my friends are settling down in different parts of the country, and now it's just me and my husband. We're trying to find new friends in our community, but it's so fresh, and I'm just sad. How did you get through this? Thanks, ladies.

[Kathy]

Can I take the first stab at this, please?

[Susan]

Go right ahead,

[Kathy]

Anonymous. First of all, I'm sorry that you're feeling this way, but I feel like this might be that you and your husband don't have a strong enough connection. Because if you guys do, then together you would say, hey, let's join a pickleball group. Let's do this. I think she feels alone and not in good communication with her spouse. That's just the feeling I get. You said it's just me and my husband. You know, that.

[Susan]

Imagine being around bunch of couples that you do a lot with and everybody moves away, and then you're just looking at each other like, what do we do now? It is difficult to find a new crowd when you're golden. But as you always say, join a group. Join something. Get out there. But there's still not going to be those lifelong friendships that they had with these other people.

[Kathy]

Well, I don't know. This question says reaching a level of adulthood where you all go your own ways. I don't know what that means. Like, did. Did they all go to live where their kids live? You know?

[Susan]

Well, maybe they retired. And who's retiring in Florida or Charleston or wherever?

[Kathy]

I would say, Anonymous, what you're feeling, everybody is feeling. It's like walking to a cocktail party where you don't know anybody or the first day of college campus. Right. Nobody knows anybody. So when you're feeling. Yeah, exactly what you're feeling, other people are feeling. I would encourage you to. For you and your husband to take up a new activity, get out there. You'll make new friends. You know, it's the old Girl Scout thing. Make new friends and keep the old Some are silver and the others are gold. And where did that come from?

[Susan]

Oh, boy.

[Kathy]

Really? That's a. That was a thing. So, you know, get out there and you'll make some new friends, and it's. It's a new chapter of your life.

[Susan]

Well, she does say, we're trying to find new friends in our community, but it's so fresh. I'm just sad, and it's normal to be sad, and it's okay to miss them. And I would also, if there's three different couples that live three different places, I would make plans to go visit. Yeah, we're going to visit.

[Kathy]

Yep.

[Susan]

I'm coming down. You know, and then you have something to look forward to, and then you also have something to talk about with your new friends.

[Kathy]

Yeah, exactly. I think Susan's right. It's about keeping the relationship.

[Susan]

She thinks I'm right. You hear this.

[Kathy]

Don't let it go to your head.

[Susan]

She agrees with me.

[Kathy]

Don't let it go to your head. It's partially making friends, new friends and keeping the golden friends. You know, making new friends and finding new activities and keeping in touch with your old friends. And we wish you a lot of luck and, you know, get your husband together and join. Figure out what you guys want to do and make some new friends because.

[Susan]

And it's okay to feel sad, but you'll get through.

[Kathy]

It's okay. And guess what? There are other people in your community who are in the same boat as you are.

[Susan]

Yeah.

[Kathy]

All right. But let us know. Let us know what you decide, you know, what new things you find to do with your life.

[Susan]

They're probably going to move where their best friends moved.

[Kathy]

And if there's any single guy, send them to me. I swear I'm gonna send you every question now.

[Susan]

Anonymous.

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[Kathy]

All right, the second question is also from an anonymous listener.

[Susan]

Okay.

[Kathy]

Hi, ladies. I love your podcast and I really could use your advice right now. I'm the youngest sibling of four kids and it's finally time for me to move out for good. I lived on campus for college, but I was able to come back frequently and have always stayed with my parents over breaks. Now I'm moving for a new job to New York City where all of my friends are. My question is, how do I help my parents during this time? They're really supportive, but I can tell it's really hurting them that they won't have any kids in the house anymore. What can I do for them? What do you wish you could have done when you were first going through this? Oh, what says you?

[Susan]

What can they do for them? I would leave little notes that they'd find after I'm gone to make their day and tell them what a great job they did.

[Kathy]

And I would call them, email them,

[Susan]

text them, FaceTime them, stay in touch with them. You're going to get involved in your own life and you're going to get all caught up. I don't care if you put a reminder on your calendar. Yes, call mom.

[Kathy]

Call mom and I will tell you. And Susan, I think I've told this story before. When my daughter went to college, she was a soccer player. So she had to go early, you know, for soccer season in August. And my husband and I went out there, like, Labor Day weekend. It was her first scrimmage, and, can I just tell you, makes me cry. She had no time. In retrospect, I get it. She was in a new school, making new friends, and she didn't want mom and dad around. And we were missing her. She was the youngest of our children. We were missing her so much. We just wanted to be part of her life. So, you know, we all could have handled it better. We shouldn't. My husband. I shouldn't have gone out so early to see the scrimmage.

[Susan]

We should have waited, like, parents weekend or something.

[Kathy]

No, no, we just went out for the first scrimmage. Parents weekend was, like, in October. This was Labor Day weekend. I mean, we went out. She'd only been there, like, two and a half weeks, but we missed her. We wanted to see her scrimmage.

[Susan]

So your feelings hurt when she didn't spend enough time?

[Kathy]

Terrible. She was like, mom and dad, I'm here. She. She was right. She said, I'm here in a new school to make friends. I.

[Susan]

You know, so start her life.

[Kathy]

Yeah, that's right. So what you can do for your parents is reach out to them. Call them, FaceTime them, and. And hope that slowly but surely they understand that you're making a new life for yourself. It's hard for us parents, but take

[Susan]

a second to be grateful of how much you are being loved, how much they love you, that they're feeling this pain and what a good kid you probably are.

[Sponsor/Advertiser Voice]

Yeah.

[Susan]

So continue to be the good kid that they could brag about and call Mommy.

[Kathy]

And. Yeah, I mean, I. I was married Anonymous at 20, so I didn't go through what you're going through, but I did go through it as the parent. And that's what I can respond to, is, Susan's right. You're probably a great kid. Just tell them how much you appreciate them and you love them. Send them a card in the mail. Thank you, FaceTime. Just the little things matter, right?

[Susan]

I also realize that this is part of life. You do grow up, and you do go out on your own. Every parent has to go through this.

[Kathy]

I don't like it. I want my children all to move home.

[Susan]

I don't. They don't live like I do.

[Kathy]

That's right. Susan would be sweeping under the table. Stop eating. Don't eat on the table. Eat outside so I don't have to sweep up the floor.

[Susan]

Oh, God. Okay, Kathy, our next one is from Shit Charlotte. She says, hi, Kathy. And Susan, I was wondering if you could help me navigate finding alone time. Well, here you go. It's the opposite.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Susan]

I've always been an extrovert, and I love being around people. It really helps me recharge. Oh, my gosh. She sounds like me. I've been with my boyfriend for like three years now, and he is someone that definitely needs some alone time. We were in the honeymoon phase for what felt like a really long time. But now that we live together, I feel like we've moved out of that. So now he needs to have some alone time regularly, which is fine, but I just don't know what to do with myself. Lol. I'm starting to realize I never really have alone time because I'm always surrounding myself with people. It's not that I need to constantly be with him. I think I just never gave myself the space to be alone. What do people do? I've always had a busy household growing up, lots of roommates in college to chat and hang with. I could fill my time with people. But now I'm realizing maybe I should learn to be alone. What do you think? Thanks, ladies. Like we just said, it's like I didn't see this coming. It's everything we just said. First of all, she sounded so much like myself, and I had to adjust to being alone. And then you end up loving it.

[Kathy]

Well, so I'm going to say again, reading this question, hearing you read it, all I could think of was my husband, who was an introvert, and I'm an extrovert. And so people being with people recharges me. That's how it used to be when my husband was alive. I never understood. He would say to me, I need time alone. I need to reach out. I didn't.

[Susan]

I would take that as a hurt.

[Kathy]

I did. I felt it was a reflection. What's the word? I want. You didn't want to reject me?

[Susan]

Yeah, rejection.

[Kathy]

I felt took it as rejection. Now I've. I've. Unfortunately, I had to learn that one the hard way. But I think that Charlotte, learning to be alone, not lonely, but alone, will give you such a wonderful perspective. You'll learn so much about yourself. You'll learn. You'll find the things that give you joy that aren't necessarily related to other people or your boyfriend or your husband or whatever, you know, whoever it is.

[Susan]

And he needs it regularly. So introverts do need. Yeah, they have to recharge on their own. They have to be alone because that's what helps them.

[Kathy]

But she said what do people do? People, Charlotte. Learn to be alone because you gain perspective on yourself. You enrich your own self by giving your. By learning to be alone, not lonely by learning to be alone and doing things for you without needing the. What's the word I want, Susan? When you need like injections. That's not the word I'm thinking of.

[Susan]

But, you know, you need constant, constant people. Yeah.

[Kathy]

You need that, that hit that, that you need that, that fix. The fix that's exactly of other people. Learning to not need. That is really important in life. I learned it very late.

[Susan]

I do. And I've traveled on my own. And I second guessed it the whole time I was planning it. And even when I stepped foot in Italy and I thought to myself, oh my God, I'm here for 15 days and I got nobody. But I embraced it and said, this is going to make me stronger and appreciate who am I really. I always surround it like her, myself with people. And I like to entertain and I like. I'm a giver and I want everybody to have fun. And it's constant.

[Kathy]

So you know what's interesting about that, Susan? That's what's so interesting about that. We've had this conversation before. I've never traveled by myself. I think I could do it, but for me, the joy of sharing the experience. Sharing the experience. And, and so while I think it would be a growing experience if you will go travel. Yeah, I think it would be. I would feel like it was half a trip for me because for me it's. It's sharing the experience. Now. There's a lot of other things that I do that I've learned to do by myself.

[Susan]

For me, I wanted to know that I could do it. I could do this now. I even wrote in a journal every day and I've written I don't know how many times those 15 days. I really wish I had someone here to share this beauty with and share this moment with.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Susan]

But I didn't. And I continued on. It was the best experience.

[Kathy]

Yes.

[Susan]

I'm not saying I want to do it every year.

[Kathy]

Yeah. It was a different experience for you. For me,

[Susan]

it was just proving to myself that I am okay alone. As well as we recommend people go out to dinner by themselves and try not to get on your phone.

[Kathy]

Oh, I can't do that. No, I'm not doing that either. All right, well, Charlotte, let us know. I've got another question here, but I, I. Charlotte, let us know. I hope that you learn to be alone and, and that you see the benefits of it.

[Dr. Jake Goodman]

Ever been at a pharmacy counter and the pharmacist asks, do you have any questions? And suddenly your mind goes blank? That's exactly why you need to listen to beyond the Script from CVS Pharmacy and iHeartMedia. Hosted by Dr. Jake Goodman, this podcast brings you real conversations with CVS pharmacists, the health experts you see most answering the questions you wish you'd asked, like which medications might not mix well, what vaccines you should consider before a big trip, and even those questions you are too embarrassed to say out loud. Each episode busts myths, decodes health trends, and gives you practical, trustworthy advice straight from the people behind the counter. No white coats, no lectures. Just real talk, real answers, and maybe a few laughs. Listen to beyond the script on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Podcast Host/Announcer]

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Plus,

[Kathy]

Here is another question from Kennedy. Did I ever tell you that I almost named my daughter Kennedy?

[Susan]

Kennedy?

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Susan]

No.

[Kathy]

Yep. Okay, just a little factoid there. Okay. Lately I've been noticing something about myself that feels different from everyone around me. All my friends are constantly making plans, filling every free hour with group dinners, FaceTimes, dates, weekend trips, you name it. And I keep finding myself doing the opposite. After work, I crave going home, shutting the door and just being by myself. It's not that I don't like people. I love my friends. But being alone feels easier, calmer, safer. It also does make dating hard, though, because I need this time. I need this alone time a lot. The thing is, I'm starting to wonder if something's wrong and if I'll ever meet a partner who gets it. Is it normal to genuinely prefer being alone even when everyone else seems to crave constant connection? And how do I know if this is healthy solitude or if I'm slowly isolating myself without realizing it?

[Susan]

I mean, it's a good point, but are you ever joining your friends? Like you have to answer that own question yourself. Do you occasionally join them, or is this constant?

[Kathy]

Well, she says all of her friends are constantly making plans, and she finds herself doing the opposite. After work, she craves going home. Now, the question is, in her job, does she have a job where she's interacting with people all the time? And, you know, that's a lot of social.

[Susan]

Funny, me being behind the chair and doing how many customers, clients a day when I used to get in the car and drive back to the city, to my place.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Susan]

I couldn't even put the radio on sometimes, especially on a Saturday. The buzz, the chaos.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Susan]

Just quiet time. Yeah. And I wouldn't have a problem staying in on a Saturday night after working.

[Kathy]

Yeah. I say to you, Kennedy, you know yourself, if you're feeling like you're spending too much alone time. I mean, work is work, right? But if you're not socializing and very little, you're not doing those trips occasionally, you're not going out for those dinners occasionally, you're not getting together with your friends occasionally, then that's probably too much alone time. If you're asking us if it's too much alone time, it probably is.

[Susan]

And your friends are going to do things without you and stop asking. That's another thing that happens.

[Kathy]

Yes.

[Susan]

When you constantly turn people down from an invite, eventually they don't ask anymore. They'll say something like this, you know, you're always invited. You let us know when you want to come.

[Kathy]

Exactly.

[Susan]

But when you're not asked to get your feelings hurt.

[Kathy]

Yeah. Well. And Kennedy says she's looking for a partner. If I. She said if I ever get a partner who gets it. Well, sweet girl, Kennedy, to find a partner, you have to get out and socialize. They're not going to materialize on your front yard. So, you know, healthy solitude is one thing, but isolation. And you seem to know the difference because you use those words, you know, what is healthy and what is going beyond the pale. And so I would encourage you to sit down in your alone time and maybe, you know, look at your schedule. How much time are you alone? How much time are you devoting to others? That's true, right?

[Susan]

It's absolutely true.

[Kathy]

It's just, you know, Kennedy, let us know. We hope that you get out, but let us know how you're feeling. We don't want you to feel isolated, so let us know. And in the meantime, we're going to tell you guys what our ideal day alone looks like. So. Okay, Susan.

[Susan]

All right. Kathy, if you had.

[Kathy]

Oh, no, I'm asking you, girlfriend first.

[Susan]

If you had the entire day to yourself to do whatever you wanted, what would you do?

[Kathy]

For me? It's so easy for me. I would get up, have my couple of cups of coffee, water my plants. I have a lot of days by myself, so this is an easy question for me. Water my plants, have coffee, take a walk, work on needlepoint, call my sister. It's, you know, read. I love to read, bake something if I feel like it. I don't have any trouble occupying my day. None. Sometimes, you know, I listen to music, I'll pray. I. I do a variety of things, but I. Same sometimes, though, especially lately, you know, my husband being gone creeps into my consciousness, and I'm like. And I have to guard against that. And that's when I know I need to get out. What about you?

[Susan]

Well, it could be either or.

[Kathy]

What does that mean?

[Susan]

A perfect day for me would be go out and get a massage or a facial or go shopping, take myself out to lunch or dinner, or stay home, make my house clean, all the laundry done, maybe clean out a closet, open a bottle of wine, have some cheese and crackers, Netflix it. Like, I do these things.

[Kathy]

That's what I'm saying. You and I, it's not fair because you and I are mostly retired, and we get. We. We get the option to do these things. And, And. And I'm grateful for those times. I mean, I wake. You're gonna laugh. I wake up in the morning. Like this morning I woke up. I'm embarrassed to tell you. I Woke up at 4. I woke up at 5. I woke up at 6. At 6 o', clock, I said, damn it. I got up.

[Susan]

I made it up all night. I think it was the full moon,

[Kathy]

I don't know, but I was up all night. I got up and made a cup of coffee, brought it upstairs. The cats were like, oh, goody. Breakfast early.

[Susan]

Mommy's up.

[Kathy]

Mommy's up. I got up, I made a cup of coffee. I crawled into bed with my book, and I sat there and I read for an hour. And then I fell back asleep for an hour and a half. I mean, it was. And I literally sat there thinking, boy, if I had a guy in my bed next to me, this probably wouldn't go so well.

[Susan]

He might be doing the same thing,

[Kathy]

you know, it may be, but I'm just saying it's like that I'm not lonely. I find loneliness for me, just to round out this whole episode, sometimes I feel lonely when I go back and think about the time lost with my husband. Then I'm lonely, and I have to fight against that.

[Susan]

Sometimes I'll look ahead and see I have nothing going on for four straight days. It's almost fearful, like, whoa, what am I going to do with myself? I figure it out. Trust me. Yeah, but I do have those moments from back when I surrounded myself with people.

[Kathy]

And now I'm sorry.

[Susan]

You did or do quiet. Pardon me?

[Kathy]

Yeah. I didn't hear you. You did. Or do surround yourself with people. I didn't hear what you said.

[Susan]

Always did. Always. And now I'm okay not constantly being with people. I work with people every day. You know, that was my whole career.

[Kathy]

Right.

[Susan]

And it's okay to have the quiet time, but there was a time I would fear being alone. I don't want to be by myself. It's no fun being by myself, you know?

[Kathy]

But, yeah, I. I mean, sometimes when I think. I mean, not to be morbid, but when I think I'm. I'm pretty happy girl. But sometimes when I. I think it would be so nice to have someone. You know, when I went to. When I went to La Quinta and visited my friend, my guy friend, who. She'll be nameless.

[Susan]

He.

[Kathy]

You shall not be named. We're just friends. But I thought, you know, we're so comfortable with each other. I just. I thought this is what it could be like to have a friend so that you're not alone when you don't want to be alone, but.

[Susan]

And you don't isolate yourself from others, force yourself to be a part. Well, I do always turn people down. Like. Like the one woman was saying, oh, no, saying yes.

[Kathy]

Opportunity has to say yes for sure.

[Susan]

Some people don't even want to go. Just force yourself. A lot of times, you're gonna have a good time. I remember somebody saying to me, you don't want me there. I'm not going to be good company. Oh, shut up. Get dressed. Come on. We're going to make you have fun, you know?

[Kathy]

Yeah, I again, I think you and I are at a point in our lives where we know the difference between loneliness and being alone. And loneliness, to me has a negative connotation. It just does. But being alone, that is a choice. And it's a choice where we get to grow and have fun and enjoy ourselves and our activities. And with that, I'm going to go be alone right now. Susan, that's going to do it for this episode. I'm done with you. Thanks.

[Susan]

She calls me in 30 minutes now. Susan, I'm by myself. Let's talk.

[Kathy]

Yeah, probably I will call her. But in the meantime, thank you to everybody for listening in. We hope that you learned something and maybe you can think about yourself. Are you lonely or alone? And if you're lonely, do something about it. If you're alone, learn to enjoy it.

[Susan]

Definitely enjoy your time alone. It's empowering.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Susan]

And it's discovering who you are, what your likes are. Don't be lonely. If you are feeling that, remove yourself from that situation.

[Kathy]

Do something about it.

[Susan]

Yeah, absolutely. And be sure to keep sending us your questions because we just love diving into these and just go to bachelornation.com golden hour and submit away, because that's what we're here for.

[Kathy]

That's what we're here for. Listen to Bachelor Happy Hours golden hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Until next time, have a great week.

[Susan]

Have a good one.

[Dietz Watson Representative]

Hey, did you know Dietzen Watson has been family owned for over 85 years? To us, that means it's more than a business. It's personal. We make our premium meats and cheeses the right way, even if it's slower or inconvenient or hard, because that's how you get the highest quality. Quality. If it's not good enough for our family, it's not good enough for yours. And while others cut corners, we keep raising the bar. So if you see the Dietz and Watson name, you'll know every slice has my family's seal of approval. Dietz and Watson. It's a family thing since 1939.

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[Susan]

This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea after the Big Game like most people, I kept thinking about the commercials and there was one that stayed with me. It was from the Blue Square Alliance Against Hate and it wasn't loud or flashy.

[Kathy]

It showed a Jewish kid being targeted

[Susan]

at school and another student who chose not to ignore it. As someone who was Jewish, that moment felt very real to me. Not dramatic, just familiar. And what struck me was how clearly it showed that hate doesn't always announce

[Kathy]

itself, but the impact is still huge.

[Susan]

If you saw the Blue Square spot during the Big Game, it's worth thinking about. And if you want to show support, sharing the Blue Square is one small way to do that.

[Kathy]

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[Susan]

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[Kathy]

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[Susan]

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[Kathy]

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[Kathy]

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[Kathy]

speed test intelligence data 12025 marks use under license and reprinted with permission. Friends like these the Murder of Skyler Niece is now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney +911 do you have an emergency?

[Susan]

I have a 16 year old daughter. Can't get a hold of her. I am scared to death.

[Dietz Watson Representative]

We wanted to talk to Skyler's friends.

[Dr. Jake Goodman]

They're not telling the full story.

[Kathy]

The truth is gruesomely horrific.

[Podcast Host/Announcer]

How could you do this to your best friend?

[Dr. Jake Goodman]

There's a darker secret that's not been said.

[Kathy]

Watch the new Hulu original series Friends like these the Murder of Skyler Nese on Hulu and Hulu on Disney plus for bundle subscribers terms apply.

[Susan]

This is an I heart podcast. Guaranteed human.