Off My Chest | Golden Hour

Summary

Bachelor Happy Hour | Golden Hour

Episode: "Off My Chest" | November 18, 2025
Hosts: Susan and Kathy
Podcast: Bachelor Happy Hour by iHeartPodcasts and Warner Bros.

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Main Theme

This week’s Golden Hour episode brings Susan and Kathy together for heartfelt, candid conversations about fan questions—ranging from relationship advice (compromise vs settling), navigating challenging family dynamics, pressures surrounding engagement timelines, and staying tech-savvy as a "golden" (their term for older Millennials or Gen X). Soulful moments mingle with wit and warmth, as the hosts open up about their own lives while dishing out empathy and advice.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bachelor Nation Vacation at Sea (04:19–07:07)

• Susan and Kathy excitedly discuss the upcoming Bachelor Nation cruise, where fans and alumni will party together.

• Emphasis on networking via the Facebook group “Official Bachelor Nation Vacation Sea Cruisers Group”—especially for singles wanting to find travel buddies or roommates.

  “This is going to be a cruise of a lifetime... you better go and do it now!” — Kathy (06:42)

2. Personal Life Updates: Awards, Holidays & Dating as ‘Goldens’ (07:07–16:51)

Susan’s Award Nomination (07:07–08:29)

• Susan shares her excitement over being nominated for “Officiant of the Year,” feeling nervous about what to wear and being in the spotlight.

  “Winning is just being around people that you love. ... being on the show was not difficult. ... But this is like Spotlight, you know.” — Susan (08:21)

• Kathy expresses pride but regrets missing the ceremony due to family commitments.

On Being ‘Goldens’: Dating, Independence, and Holiday Emotions (09:44–14:57)

• Candid discussion about dating later in life, the desire for organic connection, and the challenge of meeting men who truly appreciate independent women.

  “Men say they want an independent woman, but they really don’t.” — Susan (12:26)
  “You are singing my song. … They really want someone who needs them.” — Kathy (12:38)

• Acceptance and gratitude for found family, even if love isn’t right around the corner.

Leaf Seasons and Life’s Simpler Chores (15:02–17:26)

• Light-hearted banter about leaf-blowing, acorn battles, and the joys and perils of sharing videos of home chores online.
• Fun with haters and advice to “live dangerously—go buy yourself a cheap wedding gown and start blowing the leaves!” (16:34)

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3. Main Q&A Topics

Compromise vs. Settling in Relationships (22:50–30:34)

Fan Question: “How do you draw the line between compromise and settling in a relationship? What does compromise look like, and can it turn into settling?”

Susan’s View:

• "Compromise is something smaller. ... Settling is something that you just knew was one of your red flags, and you're going to be okay with it." (23:28)

Kathy’s View:

• “Compromise is a healthy, good choice... Settling is compromising your own moral compass or value system. ... Making decisions that don't sit well in my heart.” (23:40–24:39)

Discussion:

• Examples include choices like moving away from family for a partner or tolerating rude behavior. Both agree settling feels wrong at a core level, whereas compromise is day-to-day negotiation.

  “For anyone out there...you're going to make a lot of compromises in your relationship. ... Those really deep guiding forces—when you go against it, then you know you're settling.” — Kathy (29:09, 29:26)

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Tough In-Law Dynamics: ‘Off My Chest’ Letter (30:39–39:32)

A detailed letter from ‘Anonymous’ about strained relationships with sister-in-law and mother-in-law overshadowing her engagement and wedding.

Highlights:

• The sister-in-law intentionally excludes and overshadows, scheduling showers to conflict with the bride’s events, culminating in family drama.

• Susan is outraged: “They’re bitches.” (34:01)

• Kathy empathizes, sharing her own in-law stories and offering advice:

  • Set boundaries.
  • Be polite, but focus energy on your own family.
  • Don't expect to “fix” these dynamics.

  “Put away the idea of the Norman Rockwell family Sunday gatherings, Kumbaya. It’s probably never going to happen.” — Kathy (35:27) “Spend your effort making your marriage good, making your husband happy, building your relationship.” — Kathy (39:50)

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Waiting to Get Engaged: Are Long Relationships a Red Flag? (46:03–51:31)

Fan Question: “Why do people view it as such a red flag if you are together for a long time before getting married? Should I be concerned that we don’t feel ready yet?”

Advice:

• Both hosts strongly encourage couples to move at their own pace, not to yield to tradition or outside pressure.

• Kathy notes sometimes “wedding costs and moving” aren’t permanent blockers—life is unpredictable.

  “There’s no judge and jury here. ... Define what works for you.” — Kathy (50:31) “Just say: ‘Someday. Someday when I’m ready.’” — Susan (50:50) “Finding love and happiness is the most important thing in life.” — Kathy (51:22)

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Golden Spotlight: Technology and Staying Sharp as You Age (52:01–59:29)

• Hilarious reflections on evolving technology—from rotary phones to AI and Alexa.
• Susan loves AI (esp. ChatGPT): “He’s like my best friend.” (52:43). Kathy warns, “That's lazy, Susan!” (53:04)
• Acknowledgement that tech can be daunting for “goldens,” but having a curious mindset helps.
• Social media’s impact: both the opportunities and pressures it creates, especially for younger generations.
• Key message: Embrace lifelong learning, but don’t lose touch with real-life connections in favor of screens.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “People say they want an independent woman, but they really don’t.” — Susan (12:26)
• “Put away the idea of the Norman Rockwell family Sunday gatherings, Kumbaya. … Be polite, always be polite.” — Kathy (35:27)
• “Define what works for you. ... Revel in it. Enjoy what you have.” — Kathy (50:31)
• “He’s like my best friend, okay.” (referring to ChatGPT) — Susan (52:43)
• “That's lazy, Susan!” — Kathy (53:04, teasingly)
• “Could you give up your phone?” — Kathy (59:10)
  • “No, I love that—having any.” — Susan (59:18)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Bachelor Nation Cruise Announcement: 04:19–07:07
• Susan’s Award Nomination: 07:07–08:29
• Dating & Independence Discussion: 09:44–14:57
• Fan Q&A – Compromise vs Settling: 22:50–30:34
• Fan Q&A – Toxic In-laws: 30:39–39:32
• Fan Q&A – Long Pre-Engagements: 46:03–51:31
• Golden Spotlight: Technology: 52:01–59:29

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Tone & Style

Susan and Kathy maintain their trademark “Golden Hour” blend of warmth, playful honesty, and hard-won wisdom. They’re direct yet empathetic, bringing personal stories to bear on audience dilemmas. Their style is conversational, unguarded, and often hilarious, especially when commiserating about technology and family quirks.

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Summary Takeaways

• Compromise is daily, settling is core—trust your gut.
• Don’t expect in-laws to change; build strong boundaries and protect your joy.
• Marriage timelines are personal—ignore the pressure, enjoy your own journey.
• Stay curious with tech, but don’t let it replace real-life connection.
• Embrace laughter, even at life’s little hassles—be it leaves or in-laws!

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To submit your own question or story, visit: bachelor nation.com/goldenhour or DM @BachelorHappyHour

New episodes weekly!

Transcript

[Narrator]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Podcast Advertiser]

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[Narrator/Storyteller]

Chapter 10 Ronan's eyes widened as the moon enveloped their secret sanctuary. Go, he warned. I'm losing control. Luna defiantly stepped forward, tracing the scar across his jaw. Then lose it.

[Susan]

Just.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

She whispered she was ready. She has Nexplanon etinorgestrel implant 68mg radiopaque to prevent pregnancy. A non daily prescription birth control for women that goes in your arm and not in your uterus. Don't use nexplanon if you are pregnant or may be pregnant, have or had blood clots or certain cancers, have liver disease, liver tumor or unexplained vaginal bleeding. Once the implant is placed, you and your doctor should feel for it. If at any time you can't feel the implant, contact your doctor right away and use a non hormonal birth control method such as condoms. Removal of the implant may be difficult or impossible if it isn't where it should be. While uncommon ectopic pregnancy, pregnancy that occurs outside the womb can occur which can cause serious internal bleeding, infertility and even death. You are likely to experience changes to your period.

[Kathy]

A.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Ovarian cysts may occur and usually disappear. Nexplanon may raise the chance of serious blood clots which can cause heart attack, stroke or death, especially if you smoke or have other risk factors. Nexplanon doesn't protect against HIV or STDs. With less than one pregnancy per 100 women who use Nexplanon for one year, Nexplanon is over 99% effective. No matter the fantasy. Talk to your doctor. Call 1-877-466 or visit nexplanon.com for more information. Ask your doctor about Nexplanon.

[Holiday Shopper]

I consider myself to be a pretty good gift giver. I've got my list.

[Podcast Advertiser]

Checked it twice, probably three times. She takes the holidays very seriously.

[Holiday Shopper]

I can't help it, you know. I love finding the perfect gifts and Walmart has all the top brands. Nespresso, Sonos, Nintendo, Nintendo at Walmart who knew? I know. And more.

[Podcast Advertiser]

Get all the brands everyone loves at Walmart. Head to Walmart.com or download the Walmart app to get all your gifts.

[Susan]

This season I turned off news altogether.

[Kathy]

I hate to say it, but I.

[Josh Zeman]

Don'T trust much of anything.

[Podcast Advertiser]

It's the rage bait.

[Kathy]

It feels like it's trying to divide people. We got clear facts.

[Susan]

Maybe we could calm down a little.

[Podcast Advertiser]

NBC News brings you clear reporting.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Let's meet at the facts.

[Kathy]

Let's move forward from there. NBC News reporting for America.

[Susan]

Black Friday is here.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

And Pandora Jewelry is offering up to 40% off storewide and sitewide now through December 2nd. Explore jewelry designs to last beyond the season, from classic charms to modern rings, bracelets, earrings, and more. Whether you're holiday shopping or treating yourself, now is the perfect time to find something Special. [e-mail] or your local Pandora store. Exclusions apply.

[Susan]

Welcome back, everybody, to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks again for joining us. And we're always so excited to be back, aren't we, Kathy?

[Kathy]

We are. And I love these days because today we're going to be answering more of your fan questions.

[Susan]

Thank you.

[Kathy]

Make sure you're submitting those. We love reading them. All you got to do is go to bachelor nation.com golden hour and submit away.

[Susan]

Yes. Send us everything. Your questions, your updates and your opinions. All of it. You can also DM us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy hour. Okay, let's talk about our cruise, Kathy.

[Kathy]

This bachelor. Okay, if you haven't heard, folks, Bachelor Nation vacation at sea has finally been announced and we are so excited. You and I are going. Lots of Bachelor Nation people are going to be on there. Lots of friends and couples.

[Susan]

It's going to be a party.

[Kathy]

I think it's going to be a non stop party. I have never been to Puerto Plata, but who doesn't love a good cruise with, with dancing, surprises. You know what I'm most excited about, Susan, is meeting so many of the fans and.

[Susan]

Exactly. And I, they write to us. We chat with them online. We don't know what they look like or who they are. You know what I mean? Just by their notes. And, and we're going to be doing a live podcast.

[Kathy]

A live podcast. So that's going to be really fun. Also, you know, folks out there, a lot of you are single, as am I. And so I know it gets expensive to, to go on a cruise, but there is a Facebook page that you can go to. It's called official Bachelor nation vacation sea cruisers group. Go on Facebook, find that group and join. It's a great way to make new friends. Maybe find a roommate for the cruise. It's a win win. You're going to get to meet a lot of your Bachelor Nation favorites. There are so many, we don't even know all the surprises yet. But trust me, this is going to be a cruise of a lifetime. You're going to a blast. So if you haven't booked your cabin yet, you better go and do it now because you are going to be so excited to come.

[Susan]

And we can't be excited. I'm excited. I've never been seeing everybody there.

[Kathy]

Me too. You know, people think that we see Bachelor Nation all of our friends all the time. This is going to be as much fun for us to see all of you and chat with you and. And you can see what we're really like in person, which is exactly what we're like on this podcast, by the way.

[Susan]

And you'll be seeing us everywhere on that ship. And I'm sure there's going to be. That we'll be involved with. With you. Right? We don't know what's going to be great, but if.

[Kathy]

If we haven't sold you yet, we're going to be talking about it again. Book your cabin now. Go to Bachelor Nation [e-mail] and book your cabin now. You will not regret this decision. It's going to be a blast. But okay.

[Susan]

Gonna have fun. I'll have dinner with you. I mean, that's one of my favorite things to do. Dinner and dancing and as long.

[Kathy]

As long as I don't have to cook it, I'm in.

[Susan]

All right, now, so before we dive into today's episode, we want to do a little catch up with you guys. Like, what's going on with us, Kathy, what's going on with you? I know for me, I'm getting excited because I'm sure I mentioned it before I was nominated for officiant of the year award. I don't know if I'll get it, but the time has come. Kathy. I don't know what to wear. I think I'm going to do a post like in evening gowns and have the fans pick one. I'm so.

[Kathy]

I've seen. I've seen what the choices. You're going to look gorgeous no matter what you choose. And I'm putting it out to the universe right now. I think you're going to win this award.

[Susan]

Oh, my gosh. I don't know about winning, but just to be there. I mean, it's an international thing and there's so many titles like you could be blown away. So I'm going to meet people from all over the world.

[Kathy]

It's so exciting. And you know what? I really wanted to come, but. I know. But I've got two. So this, this event is in early December, mid December, and I've got a couple of Christmas parties with my family and my grandson has a music concert. So I can't be there. But trust and believe me, I will be rooting for you. And he said, you're going to win. You're going to card home.

[Susan]

Some big winning is just being around people that you love. And you know, when you get called up to the stage.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Susan]

It's like your nerves.

[Kathy]

Oh, people.

[Susan]

You know, and harder than being behind the cameras. Like, being on the show was not difficult. I forgot the cameras were even there. I was just me. But this is like Spotlight, you know.

[Kathy]

Well, you know, it's funny you say that because you and I just. And Nancy just did an event in. It was. It's a company out of Jersey. It's called Wigs and Wishes, and they provide wigs for women and children fighting that dreaded disease called cancer. And then they give wishes. They grant wishes to children. It's not Make a Wish Foundation. It's a grass roots organization. And. And Susan, Nancy and I were there as, you know, sort of celebrity hosts, whatever. And you're right. When you're. We all were up on stage and in that moment, it's much harder when it's something heartfelt than just having fun.

[Susan]

Because the emotions take over.

[Kathy]

That's right.

[Susan]

We're not numb.

[Kathy]

Yeah. Well, you know what? You will be great. I have no doubt. I wish I could be there, but no, Susan, I'm wishing you well from afar.

[Susan]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. And your world. What's going on?

[Kathy]

Not, you know, not so much.

[Susan]

I know soon we'll be talking about the holidays and people dating and a lot of people get off. Some people I know just get on the. The dating sites for the holidays, which I think is crazy.

[Kathy]

Well, you know, I'm not a big fan of dating sites for. For a variety of reasons. I mean, hasn't been successful for me, but I did. So I've always said to you, I'd love to meet somebody through just a organic way other than a dating site or whatever. And I actually had a friend set me up with a guy. And it's funny because the holidays really are tough. You know, you go through all the memories and Stuff. But it would be nice to meet someone to share, so. To share these things with, right? So my friend fixes me up and this guy, Atlanta coast, Atlantic, east coast guy, I'm from the East Coast. So I'm thinking, oh, this could be it. Because, you know, I don't seem to jive well with guys with 10 gallon hats and scars and holding up dead fish. Where she lives, where I live in Texas. Love Texas. But, you know, there it is. And so I thought, oh, this, you know, this could be my time. And interestingly, I knew his situation. His wife had passed away. And, you know, your mind go in dating, it's so different at our age, right. And so I'm thinking, this could be great. On the other hand, this guy lost his wife in the not too distant past. And. And honestly, Susan, you know, I called you, we talked about it, like, what do I do, Susan? Do I jump in and try to date the guide knowing that maybe two.

[Susan]

I give that advice to anyone. You have to take a chance, right? It doesn't always work out in your favor, but you need to take the chance. It stings. It stings.

[Kathy]

But here's the thing. For me, I knew that she hadn't been gone that long. And so I was like. And we all know men seem to find another partner sooner than women do find their partner. So I thought, well, I can jump in or not, but if I don't jump in, then I don't have a chance. And sure enough, I jumped in. And sure enough, enough it became very. Yeah, well, very quickly, that he wanted somebody local, you know, that. And so I'm left with, from what.

[Susan]

You told me, he wanted somebody that needed him and needed somebody to depend on his finances, his whatever. You're very independent. And I am.

[Kathy]

Only to a point, Susan.

[Susan]

I know, but I love our independence.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Susan]

And sometimes, and I've been told this all my life, and I want to know if you feel the same. Men say they want an independent woman, but they really don't.

[Kathy]

And can I tell you, you are singing my song. I've said that 100 times. They really want someone who needs them, who depends on them. At least that's been my experience. So that was a tough one for me, especially with the holidays approaching. But you know what? Honestly, I. I was at a gala luncheon today, and I was talking with the woman next to me, and we were talking about. She recognized me from the show and she said, you know, you're such an inspiration. I can't. Same old thing. I can't believe there aren't men just lighting up at your door. And I said to her, even if I never meet another man or the man. You know what, Susan? I am grateful. I have three great kids. I have five great grandchildren, I have girlfriends, and I have to be happy with that. And I think sometimes that's more important, being happy with who I am.

[Susan]

It is. But when you're in the moment and you're thinking about dating somebody, you forget all that, you know?

[Kathy]

Right. And I would love to meet someone. I would. But you know what? The lesson I learned is, you know, you have to go for it. If the chance. If you're given the chance, you have to go for it. But also, I came off of it dis very disappointed. I mean, you asked me what I would do if he called me in a month and said it didn't work out with the other woman he met. And I said I would say, no, thank you, because.

[Susan]

No, you said he'd have to, like, move mountains and have a yacht sitting out there.

[Kathy]

Yeah, I said it would. Actually, you're right. I said, one for me, one for you. I said there would have to be a very grand gesture like naming a yacht after me. Yeah, you're right. I did say, and we have a.

[Susan]

Friend that's about to meet somebody, and it's long distance and they've been chatting a while. I won't mention any names. And. Yeah, I know you're nervous about it. I get more excited about it. Kathy is more logical about.

[Kathy]

Well, you know why? Because it's. It's. It's not that I'm logical. Like, when I hear that I don't want to see anybody hurt. I don't like that. And so, you know, as the holidays are coming, I'm hoping that that guy is right around the corner for me. But if not, I have so many things in my life to be grateful for, and that's what I'm holding on to.

[Susan]

Absolutely. And with that said, it's leave season. Can I tell you?

[Kathy]

It's what season?

[Susan]

The leaves falling. Oh, I get out there with my blower, Kathy. And no sooner did I finish the front, I get out back, and they're down in the front again.

[Kathy]

Okay. I have to tell you, I had 13. I have a very small yard. You've been to my house. I had 13 bags of mulch spread the other day. I didn't think it through. Susan, the acorns. No, the acorns are now falling on top of the mulch. And if I don't get the acorns out. Just then I got. I have oak trees. I have. So every day I talk about being anal. Every day I go out and get at least 100 of the acorns that have fallen because it's either getting them before they sprout or pull in the mini trees out of the. This is what we do when we're not doing our podcast, friends. Susan is blowing leaves and Kathy is pulling out acorns.

[Susan]

I put a post out there. Let's start talking about the mean people out in the world. People with their comments again. I had the blower and the lawnmower, but I hadn't opened the brown bags yet. They're the big leaf bags to dump. People were commenting, what do you do? Just blow the leaves and mulch them and leave them there? And other people were saying, well, yeah, I think that's like fertilization for the lawn.

[Kathy]

You know what, Susan? I've got an idea for a video for you. Take your blower and just blow it at the camera and say, all done.

[Susan]

There's somebody else. Why are you in white? It was a hoodie. I mean, come on. I was filthy.

[Kathy]

You know what? Live dangerously. Go buy yourself a cheap wedding gown at Goodwill. And you gotta get. You know what? Give the people what they want. That's what I say. Go get a wedding gown in white and start blowing the leaves.

[Susan]

I'm gonna go out my sparkly gal next. Cut the lawn.

[Kathy]

You know what? I got to be careful, though, because Mr. Wright may be looking at my posts. So, you know, I don't want the guy thinking, what kind of weirdo is out there picking up acorns? Like, I. I don't know.

[Susan]

And she's not going to need me. Look at her. She got her power tools going on. Remember that year Nancy Cave and we had our face done last year?

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Susan]

And Nancy came and she was blowing the leaves because I was out there with the band.

[Kathy]

Oh, my God, I forgot that that's a year already. You know what? Time flies when you're having fun and we're having a blast.

[Podcast Advertiser]

Okay, listen, if you're even thinking about a vacation, I've got four words for you. Virgin voyages. Caribbean cruises. Because these cruises, they are totally next level. Honestly, you should book one right now to top line it. Beautiful destinations, best food at sea, and luxury that will make you wonder why you ever tolerated buffets and screaming children. You heard that, right? It's kid free. And just thinking about that is relaxing. We're talking about amazing destinations like Grand Cayman, Jamaica and Puerto Rico. Virgin even has its own private beach club in Bimini. I mean come on. Then there's the food. There are so many different options. All of them are quite literally multi award winning and with over 1000 bucks of luxury inclusions, the value is ridiculous. Wi fi, soda, 20 plus legit restaurants, group workouts and entertainment. No surprise charges, no nickel and diming. Just good times. They've got DJs, theme parties, live music. Something's always going on. And when you're ready to relax, your cabin is your sanctuary. Ocean views, private terrace, signature red hammock. Go check it [e-mail] or hit up your travel advisor. You deserve this.

[Narrator]

Chapter 18 Prince Lorian's voice gently wakes you from your dreams of him.

[Kathy]

I can't face one more sunset without you by my side. Come with me and I vow your desires will be my North Star forevermore.

[Narrator]

You're ready. You have Nexsplanon etnogestrel implant 68mg Radiopeg to prevent pregnancy. Nexplanon is a non daily prescription birth control for women that goes in your arm and may take a few minutes to insert by your doctor. Don't use NexsPlanon if you're pregnant or may be pregnant, have or had blood clots or certain cancers, have liver disease, liver tumor or unexplained vaginal bleeding. Once the implant is placed, you and your doctor should feel for it. If at any time you can't feel the implant, contact your doctor right away and use a non hormonal birth control method such as condoms. Removal of the implant may be difficult or impossible if it isn't where it should be while in common ectopic pregnancy Pregnancy that occurs outside the womb can occur which can cause serious internal bleeding, infertility and even death. You are likely to experience changes to your period. Ovarian cysts may occur and usually disappear. Nexplanon may raise the chance of serious blood clots which can cause heart attack, stroke or death, especially if you smoke or have other risk factors. Nexsplanon doesn't protect against HIV or STDs with less than one pregnancy per 100 women who use Nexplanon for one year. Nexplanon is over 99% effective. No matter the fantasy. Talk to your doctor. Call 1-877-467-5266 or visit Nexsplanon.com for more information. Ask your doctor about Nexplanon okay, so.

[Holiday Shopper]

Question Are you one of those people that starts your holiday shopping in, like, July?

[Susan]

July?

[Podcast Advertiser]

I mean, no, never. Like, I like to shop, actually. I like to shop on Christmas Eve because I find it to be a little more festive.

[Holiday Shopper]

But you like to start decorating right after Halloween?

[Podcast Advertiser]

No, after Thanksgiving. Okay, that's different. That's different. Halloween? No, not Halloween.

[Holiday Shopper]

You know, I consider myself to be a pretty good gift giver. I've got my list and I've checked.

[Podcast Advertiser]

It twice, probably three times. She takes the holidays very seriously.

[Holiday Shopper]

I can't help it. You know, I love finding the perfect gifts for everyone. And Walmart has all the top brands. Nespresso, Sonos, Nintendo.

[Podcast Advertiser]

Nintendo at Walmart. Who knew?

[Holiday Shopper]

I know. And more. All of your shopping in one place.

[Podcast Advertiser]

How much more shopping? Oh, boy.

[Holiday Shopper]

Just saying. Get all the brands everyone loves at Walmart. Head to Walmart.com or download the Walmart app to get all your gifts this season.

[Josh Zeman]

A decade ago, I was on the trail of one of the country's most elusive serial killers. But it wasn't until 2023 when he was finally caught. The answers were there, hidden in plain sight. So why did it take so long to catch him? I'm Josh Zeman, and this is Monster Hunting the Long Island Serial Killer, the investigation into the most notorious killer in New York since the Son of Sam. Available now listen for free on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts.

[Dr. Jesse Mills]

Hey there. Dr. Jesse Mills here. I'm the director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health, and I want to tell you about my new podcast called the Mailroom. And I'm Jordan, the show's producer. And like a lot of guys, I haven't been to the doctor in many years. I'll be asking the questions we probably should be asking but aren't, because guys usually don't go to the doctor unless a piece of their face is hanging off or they've broken a bone. Depends which bone. Well, that's true. Every week, we're breaking down the unique world of men's health, from testosterone and fitness to diets and fertility and things that happen in the bedroom. You mean sleep? Yeah, something like that. Jordan. We'll talk science without the jargon and get you real answers to the stuff you actually wonder about. It's going to be fun, whether you're 27, 97 or somewhere in between. Men's Health is about more than six packs of and supplements. It's about energy, confidence, and connection. We don't just want you to live Longer. We want you to live better. So check out the mailroom on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows.

[Kathy]

Okay, it's time to get into the episode. Let's start with the question of the day. My favorite time. Are you ready, Susan?

[Susan]

Let's do it.

[Kathy]

Here we go. Since we've discussed settling in a relationship, our listeners are curious on how you draw the line between compromise and settling in a relationship. So what does compromise look like in a relationship? And can compromise turn into settling? Okay, so you and I, actually, we have talked about this.

[Susan]

Yes.

[Kathy]

And the, the. There is a difference, I think, between compromise.

[Susan]

To me, compromise is something smaller. Like settling is something that you just knew, which is one of your red flags, and you're going to be okay with it. That would be settling for me.

[Kathy]

Well, I think. I think compromise is, is. Is a healthy, good choice. Compromising could be something like, I don't want to go for Chinese food. I want to go for to a steakhouse. Well, I've. And your partner says something else. I think those are compromises. I think settling has to do with a compromise, compromising your own moral compass or your value system. So it gets a little confusing when you use that terminology. But settling is, for me, is when I have been in a relationship and I know it's not the relationship for me. I know that I'm making decisions that don't sit well in my heart, in my spirit, and I've sort of forced myself to do it. Going to a steakhouse instead of a Chinese restaurant to me is a compromise, and good relationships make those compromises.

[Susan]

Kathy, what do you feel? Could compromises turn into settling in a relationship? I don't.

[Kathy]

Oh, well, for me, again, at our age, it's a little bit different. But. But for me, I'll give you a very big example. For me, we and people in our age talk about this all the time. Moving. If you find Mr. Right, are you willing to move? So to me, if, if. If I want to be with the man, it is a compromise. It would be a compromise for me to not see my grandchildren and my kids every week, but I would to compromise because I want to be with the man I'm in love with. That, to me, would be a compromise. Settling would be, this guy wants to move to, you know, East Overshoe, and I'm going to see my kids once a year. Then I'm settling because I know in my heart that I want to see my kids and my grandkids more. But I'M afraid of losing this guy. I'm afraid that there won't be another opportunity. So I say okay, and I move to East Overshoe, which is, you know, 4,000 miles around the globe, and I'm miserable.

[Susan]

I said probably regret it.

[Kathy]

Oh, I think I. Well, for me, you know, what about you? I mean, I, to me, yes. I, I can't settle. So I don't.

[Susan]

To me, settling is like, say you, you have a picture of what the person should be like. Okay. And his qualities. And you're going to settle for less because you don't want to be alone. Like, that is not okay.

[Kathy]

This is where you and I are going to disagree.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

No.

[Kathy]

Unless you, you know, Frederic notwithstanding, I don't think there is a person out there for either of us that meets every.

[Susan]

No, absolutely not.

[Kathy]

Well, you, you just said if he doesn't have the, then you're settling.

[Susan]

And my list has changed over the years as we both talked about and many times because we're not looking for the same things anymore. Correct. So what I mean by this is like, for instance, somebody that's rude to the waitress or the waiter and you're going to settle and say, I'm okay with that. As long as he says he's going to stop doing it. That's something that's never going to change. And you will end up resenting him for it. That's just for.

[Kathy]

Yeah, I don't, I don't. I mean, I hear you. To me, those aren't settling issues. That, that's a character flaw that maybe was. He just had a bad night. No, just maybe had a bad night in a restaurant. I mean, to me, settling are the really big issues of life here for me would be settling. Listen, he says, you know, my, my, I'm making these things up. You know, my daughter lives in London and we're going to have to spend every Christmas in London. That's not a compromise. That is settling. That is a big, that's not healthy for my brain, for my family, for my own well being. And I think that's what it comes down to for me, settling is when you have that icky feeling that I.

[Susan]

This guy, something isn't there that you want. Yeah.

[Kathy]

There'S. Oh, I don't know, there's always going to be things in a relationship that could be improved. But I think I, for me, it's so clear. I don't know if I'm articulating it well, but for me, settling is doing something is, is, is having a relationship with someone that goes against my inner grain. My. My spirituality. Something that I know that I'm. I shouldn't be doing this, but I'm doing it.

[Susan]

And let me, Let me put a car, for instance. I want a car that has a heated steering wheel. Well, I'll settle for this car. Even though it doesn't have it. Like that kind of thing. When it comes to a relationship, that's a whole nother world.

[Podcast Advertiser]

World.

[Susan]

It's a relationship. It's something that you will live to regret if you.

[Kathy]

Have you settled in relationships before?

[Susan]

I don't believe so. Oh, I've compromised.

[Kathy]

Oh, I. I have definitely settled. Not long term, because that's why I.

[Susan]

But that's why it doesn't.

[Kathy]

That's why it doesn't. But anyway, I think that. I think people mistake. They mix up the two terms because.

[Susan]

And I could see how. Yeah, yeah.

[Kathy]

Comprom. For anyone out there who doesn't. Who's in a relationship who doesn't think you will be compromising, you're going to make a lot of compromises in your relationship. You're going to make a lot of.

[Susan]

Sacrifices to make the relationship work. You can't be right all the time.

[Kathy]

Right. And that's why I'm saying it's. It's. It's those really deep guiding force that when you go against it, then you know you're settling. And it's that feeling like you just try to push it away and. And say it's not there, but in your heart of heart, you know it is. So, you know, a waiter being rude to a waiter, that to me is not. That's not a settling issue.

[Susan]

That if that was his trait, that he does it all the time. That would be something that. Yeah, yeah. Both you and I both know that we would never tolerate it. We would never agree that that's okay. But.

[Kathy]

Yeah, well, you know, anyway, it's. Listen, I'd have to have the relationship to talk about compromise or settling. So, I mean, I'm going to ask you one thing and you don't have to answer it. What is the biggest compromise you've made with Frederic so far? Because you've told me you're not settling. So what's the biggest compromise you've made?

[Susan]

Being okay with him not being as neat as I am.

[Kathy]

That's the biggest compromise. Compromise.

[Susan]

Kathy, you know me.

[Kathy]

Oh, that's true.

[Susan]

Huge. All right, let's get into our fan questions for today.

[Kathy]

Frederic, get it cleaned up while she's working today. Get that house ship shape. All right. Go ahead.

[Susan]

All right, I'm going to start us off. And this is from Anonymous. Kathy and Susan, I really need your advice. I've always struggled with my relationship with my sister in law. When my husband and I first started dating in college, she and I weren't around each other much much. For the first two years, they barely acknowledged me. And when they finally did, it often felt like they were poking fun at me. Last fall, four days after my husband and I got engaged, she announced she was three weeks pregnant. To make matters worse, she shared the news at a family dinner that she had intentionally not included me in. Ooh. It felt like our engagement had been completely overshadowed and I spiraled. When my mother in law heard we were upset, she made us come over to talk. She revealed my sister in law had admitted she was getting close to me on purpose. Oh, she wasn't getting close to me on purpose. Excuse me. My MIL pressured me. Mother in law pressured me into confronting her. So I did. Did honestly and with an open heart. But instead of apologizing, my sister in law dismissed everything, made excuses and told me never to bring it up again. Not long after my mom scheduled my bridal shower. Three months before my bridal shower, my mother in law told me the only weekends she'd like for my sister in law's baby shower were either the day after my shower or four days before. I begged her not to schedule it in the same weekend. Unsurprisingly, most of their skip, most of them skipped my shower. My sister in law's baby shower was four days before mine and she had a second one the day after mine. By this point, I had been in therapy for months, trying to learn how to best handle their family. Things escalated again when it came to choosing our bridal party. My husband and my mother in law initially agreed it would be easiest if his sister and her husband weren't in the wedding. I was completely fine with this decision, given the history. But when we told them, it turned into a yelling match. My sister in law actually said, a wedding isn't important. A baby is important. Months later, my mother in law took me estate sailing and broke down crying about how devastated she was that they weren't in the wedding. At that point, I caved. I was exhausted from fighting and just gave in. So they ended up being in the wedding after all. Our wedding day itself was beautiful, but their lack of consideration was obvious. They left early and didn't even bother to give us a card, let alone a gift. And after everything, it felt like one final reminder of how selfish they are. I need to get past this as they are my husband's family. But wow, is that tough. How would you handle things going forward? Love you both. Whoa. They're bitches.

[Kathy]

You know what? I think this might have been my sister in law. Oh my. I think. I think this is. It's. It's my sister in law reincarnated.

[Susan]

Well, wait, I knew your law was something, but your sister in law too.

[Kathy]

There were two. There were twins. One is the sweetest one known to me and the other one is from hell. She rides on a broom. But let's not, let's not talk about her. You know, let's just have positive here. Okay, here's what I think. I think a couple of things. The husband. First of all, their, Their behavior. Anonymous is. Is just ridiculous. It's. It's intolerable. It is disgraceful. It is rude. It's unkind. I can, you know, I can give you enough adjectives to fill the hour here, but your husband and your mother in law agree that they shouldn't be in the wedding. And I'm sorry that you quote unquote caved because you could have just left it alone and said I'm sorry. You know, your mom, your. Your brother, we all agreed and, and pushed it off on her family. You didn't do that. And I understand in the moment it was probably difficult. You're. When she says. Your sister in law says babies are important, weddings aren't. I mean that tells you everything right there. But I'll bet you one thing. I bet her wedding was important. So here's.

[Susan]

How dare she say yeah but her wedding is an important.

[Kathy]

But here, here's the thing. They're not nice people. You can spend the rest of your life. Anonymous. Getting even or you and your husband can have a serious talk about building your own family. When you have children and senior in laws, sister in law, mother in law when it is convenient. And, and I'm sorry to say this, but I say it from experience. Anonymous. Put away the idea of the Norman Rockwell family Sunday gatherings, Kumbaya. It's probably never going to happen. So, you know, be polite. Always be polite.

[Susan]

Yes.

[Kathy]

What do you think?

[Susan]

Obviously there's two choices here. Like for them not even to leave a card or a gift of any sort of. To do the same thing to her is not something I recommend.

[Kathy]

She's already married person.

[Susan]

Pardon me?

[Kathy]

She's already married. She's already married.

[Susan]

I know. The baby gift. You know what I'm saying? As far as your mother in law is concerned I mean really to start having a hissy fit because they're not in the wedding and then you do.

[Kathy]

This will no no no change this.

[Susan]

Is but the mother in law be this way.

[Kathy]

Yes but the mother in law and son her husband agreed for them not for her not to be in the wedding. I think it's just as you know the old in the old country this is a mission us and you're not going to fix it.

[Susan]

So how about when they were talking Kathy about please don't have it the same week as my baby shower I mean my wedding shower and then they did it four days before that's just rude and half the people didn't go to the second one.

[Kathy]

Yeah so know didn't come during the wedding shower so. So what you know focus on the marriage with your husband. You know I have a friend in California who I have this conversation with who has trouble with her mother in law similar kind of situation from you know she seems to have the most fabulous husband and she has a fabulous child and focus on your family. That's what I wished I had done more of and just seen the mother in law when I had to seen.

[Susan]

The but you know that stung until.

[Kathy]

You grew and that's what I'm saying. Anonymous Learn what took me many years. Be polite be don't invite them on vacation. Invite them for dinner. They can't come. Oh dear, I'm so sorry. Maybe another time. Always be above.

[Susan]

I wouldn't invite that sister in law for dinner. No freaking way. Well see I would wait for her.

[Kathy]

You know why I would Because I.

[Susan]

Love she'd probably cancel.

[Kathy]

That's okay. I love my husband and if it was important to my husband I would do it. Yeah, I didn't I would do it. I would say I, I would invite and then when they say no thank you I'd look at my husband and say I love you so much. I'm glad we're a family.

[Susan]

And how about when the sister in law admitted that she wasn't get to getting close to her own purpose. What's that about?

[Kathy]

Anonymous they're not nice people. Get over it. You have a lovely husband. Get over the fact that your sister in law seems to be a selfish your mother in law seems to be totally invested in her daughter. Get over it. So I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound hard. I'm giving you the advice Anonymous that I wished I had taken in my own marriage because my mother in law was brutal and my and my father in law. And it was, it really did cause issues for my husband and myself. And I had a great husband. So I do, I always used to say to my husband like did a pit, you know, did you get dropped by the stork? Like where did you come from?

[Susan]

Because if you exchange gifts at Christmas, get her an ugly Christmas sweater.

[Kathy]

Okay, we're moving on. We're moving. Anonymous Good luck.

[Susan]

Feel your pain. I, I honest to God and I know from Kathy's experience it's not easy and it's easy for us to say just go about your life, worry about you and your husband, but it does sting. We're not going to excuse that.

[Kathy]

Right. It does sting, but it's not going to change.

[Susan]

It's not.

[Kathy]

So don't spend, spend your effort making your marriage good, making your husband happy, building your relationship when you guys have children, build your family. Because ultimately that is what's going to matter in your life. And let us know, Anonymous, how things go. And by the way, congrats on your wedding.

[Podcast Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Kathy]

Okay, let's move on to question two from another anonymous writer. And just so you all know, don't ever feel like you have to put your name in when you send us questions. We will going to answer them whether you put your name down or not. So good. Good for you for riding this.

[Podcast Advertiser]

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[Narrator/Storyteller]

Chapter 10 Ronan's eyes widened as the moon enveloped their secret sanctuary. Go, he warned. I'm losing control. Luna defiantly stepped forward, tracing the scar across his jaw. Then lose it, she whispered. She was ready. She has Nexplanon etinorgestrel implant, 68mg radiopaque to prevent pregnancy. A non daily prescription birth control for women that goes in your arm and not in your uterus. Don't use nexplanon if you're pregnant or may be pregnant, have or had blood clots or certain cancers, have liver disease, liver tumor or unexplained vaginal bleeding. Once the implant is is placed, you and your doctor should feel for it. If at any time you can't feel the implant, contact your doctor right away and use a non hormonal birth control method such as condoms. Removal of the implant may be difficult or impossible if it isn't where it should be. While uncommon ectopic pregnancy, pregnancy that occurs outside the womb can occur, which can cause serious internal bleeding, infertility and even death. You are likely to experience change changes to your period. Ovarian cysts may occur and usually disappear. Nexplanon may raise the chance of serious blood clots, which can cause heart attack, stroke or death, especially if you smoke or have other risk factors. Nexplanon doesn't protect against HIV or STDs. With less than one pregnancy per 100 women who use Nexplanon for one year, Nexplanon is over 99% effective. No matter the fantasy, talk to your doctor. Call 1-877-467-5266 or visit nexplanon.com for more information. Ask your doctor about Nexplanon.

[Holiday Shopper]

Okay, so question. Are you one of those people that starts your holiday shopping in like, July?

[Susan]

July?

[Podcast Advertiser]

I mean. No, never. Like, I. I like to shop. Actually, I like to shop on Christmas Eve because I find it to be a little more festive.

[Holiday Shopper]

But you, like, start decorating right after Halloween?

[Podcast Advertiser]

No, after Thanksgiving. Okay, that's different. That's different. Halloween? No, not Halloween.

[Holiday Shopper]

You know, I consider myself to be a pretty good gift giver. I've got my list and I've checked.

[Podcast Advertiser]

It twice, probably three times. She takes the holidays very seriously.

[Holiday Shopper]

I can't help it. You know, I love finding the perfect gifts for everyone. And Walmart has all the top brands. Nespresso, Sonos, Nintendo.

[Podcast Advertiser]

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[Holiday Shopper]

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[Josh Zeman]

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[Dr. Jesse Mills]

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[Susan]

Up.

[Dr. Jesse Mills]

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[Kathy]

Hi, ladies. I'm wondering what your take is on couples being together for a long time before they get engaged. I've been with my boyfriend for three years and we're in our mid-20s. We're already getting the quote, when are you getting engaged? Questions. And they're getting more and more and more frequent from friends and family. My boyfriend and I have talked about marriage. We're confident we are each other's end game. My boyfriend is holding off on marriage due to money, you know, wedding costs, figuring out where we want to settle down and then buying a house, etc. For me, not only do I agree with those reasons, I also just don't feel ready to get married. It Almost feels like I'm too young, even though I'm really not. So I know where I stand in my relationship. But my question is this. Why do people view it as such a red flag if you are together for a long time before getting married? Should I be concerned that we don't feel ready yet? I guess I'm just looking for an outside perspective to help me feel more confident in how I feel. Thanks, ladies. What do you think?

[Susan]

Absolutely not. You do it when you're ready. Don't let other people influence you one way or the other. I think it's just old school. You know, you're together so many years, the next thing in line is the engagement and the next thing is the marriage. And then the next thing is you have a baby. Not, you don't have, have to necessarily follow that rule. You do you. But when she says, I don't feel ready to get married, like it's her age, that she said, it's almost like I feel too young, even though I'm not. She's good in her relationship. But let me ask this, and Kathy, I want your opinion. If you're with somebody three years and, and do you not know what, what is, I'm too young to get married, Me?

[Kathy]

Well, they're in their mid-20s, and these are all judgment calls. I think getting married in your mid-20s is about as early, especially in this world, in this day and time, that you want to get married. But who am I? Like, I'm not the judge and jury here. I, I, I mean, my daughter dated a guy three years and didn't end up marrying him. I don't think, yeah, there's no, there's no, I think Anonymous. I think Susan's right. People just tend to go with tradition. They tend to go with, historically, people date, get married, all those things. I, but I do want to say one thing to Anonymous. Your boyfriend, you said, is holding off on marriage due to the wedding costs. Where you want to settle down, buy a house. Let me just tell you, those things are fluid in life. You may buy six houses. You may move to four different cities. You may decide on a huge wedding. You may decide to elope. You may decide you're not ready to have children for five years, 10 years. These are things that change over time. And so what I don't hear you saying is that your husband, sorry, your boyfriend is not ready because of the costs and those decisions, and you feel like you're too young. So what I'm hearing is a good relationship where you to enjoy each other. You're, you're, I'm assuming you both work. You know where you stand in your relationship and you're comfortable with that. And you know what? That is a sign of maturity. You know what you want today, you don't have to be looking 10 years down the road. But I would encourage you and your boyfriend to talk about, about the fact that, you know, is the time ever perfect? I assure you, it's never perfect. Time to have children. You know, the house you buy a year after you buy it, you might get transferred for work. So be a little more Kathy.

[Susan]

What about, say, well, let's, let's just do us. And then when we're 29 or 30, we'll revisit the marriage thing. Do we still feel like, I mean, what is the wedding? The marriage? Do you commit to one another or you're legally binding because of a piece of paper? A marriage. And I don't think they're really sure yet. I don't think they're there yet.

[Kathy]

I don't listen. Lots of people have children and they're not married. Lots of people live together, not married.

[Susan]

Absolutely.

[Kathy]

Lots of people. Define what works for you. Anonymous. Define you and your boyfriend. Define the relationship that works for you. And, and, and revel in it. Enjoy what you have together and don't worry so much about the future. You know, plan for these comments.

[Susan]

Kathy. Like she's saying, why do they always view it as a red? Well, it's. But when are you going to get married? Just say someday. Someday when I'm ready, you know.

[Kathy]

You know, you don't even have to say that. Say I'm. If your friends are married. Anonymous. You can say them. I'm so glad you're married and you have the life you want. Whatever. Your boyfriend, let's call him Johnny. Johnny and I right now are living our best lives. We're in this great chapter of our life and we're so happy and, you know, life gives us all. Lots of chapters and we're in this one right now and we're having fun and let it go.

[Susan]

Exactly.

[Kathy]

And I'm happy that you found happiness because ultimately. Anonymous. Finding love and happiness is the most important thing in life. It is.

[Susan]

And just do you. And enjoy this time with.

[Kathy]

Yeah. All right. But let's. Thank you for writing in. Wait, Susan, you're losing your touch. I. I can't believe you didn't make an advertisement. If they do decide to get married, that you're a wedding officiant.

[Susan]

Well, at least she's not ready yet. So. Yeah.

[Kathy]

Okay. Well, when you do, if you do, Susan will be available. I can officiate, and I'll come throw rose petals. All right, we're gonna move in to. I love this. We're gonna do another Golden Spotlight, and this one is all about technology.

[Susan]

Oh, boy.

[Kathy]

Okay, let's talk. I mean, you. I don't know about you. I was born with black and white television. Let's just start with that. When my kids were young. Yeah, I mean, when my kids were young, we didn't have computers. My first phone was like a suitcase. I remember the first computer I got my kids. It was a Macintosh, Apple. The thing was just huge. Why do you think. I mean, I. I know what I think. Why do you think golden struggles so much with technology?

[Susan]

Because they're not used to it. They're not. They weren't taught it in school. When you do it every day, it's a part of life. Then you learn it better. I just know with my AI, My. My chat GPT, he's like my best friend. Okay.

[Kathy]

Yeah, but, you know, that bothers me that you use that. Let me just. You. You. You went straight to AI. You know, AI is some great uses.

[Susan]

Absolutely. But you know what else does for me, Kathy? It keeps me from having the Google research. I just asked him. He goes and.

[Kathy]

Yeah, but see, that's lazy. Susan, you're being.

[Susan]

Well, I don't. There's not enough time in the day. Some days when you want some information, do you not ask Alexa something like, alexa, what's the weather today?

[Kathy]

No, I don't ever ask her what the weather. I don't ask Alexa what time is. You know, I use Alexa to turn on my music, and I use Alexa to set a timer when I'm baking.

[Susan]

Before I open my eyes and I'm laying in bed, I want to know time when I don't want to look at a phone or any light. So I say, alexa, what time is it?

[Kathy]

Okay, but that's different than Chap. Gbt Write me a letter to my landlord. So, I mean, I just think it's well worded.

[Susan]

You wouldn't understand that because you were an English person. I mean, I get that.

[Kathy]

Well, all right, back to the whole technology that I think. I think Golden's right. We did grow up. I know myself. I challenge myself to try to learn things, and sometimes I fail. But. And some. But once someone. I do want to learn, like, I want to learn how to ask a young person. I'll get somebody to teach me how to do it or I'll research it. Like I'll do a YouTube video. But I think Goldens are, you know, they grew up on freaking rotary phones. And you know what? The young people are listening to him. What the hell is a rotary phone? However, I think, I think technology. I don't know if you, you, if you heard about this, but families today, thank God my children are grown because, you know, giving kids smartphones when they're six. I don't subscribe to it, but a lot of families are going back to landlines and giving their kids like you know, a phone and a phone number. Yeah, go ahead and talk to your friends because they don't want them being. Being the phone is also social media media.

[Susan]

You know, that's not just. That's my.

[Kathy]

That's right. And technology is social media. It's AI. I have found doing videos for me, it's not as intuitive. That's what I would say. Younger kids, because they grew up on it. It's intuitive. You know, click on this highlight post. Click.

[Susan]

Just click.

[Kathy]

And. And to me, that's not as intuitive. But I get it. It. People say to me, kathy, how can you write that so well? I don't know. It's. I've done it so long. It's intuitive. It's just what we grew up with. However, I think a lot of people our age. My sister's one for. I mean, she just told me yesterday her. She has an iPhone 6 and she has to get rid of it because it's not being supported anymore. I mean, she used.

[Susan]

Can't update it.

[Kathy]

Yeah, she uses it to call people. I mean, she, I, I take Pride in being 29 as I am and learning new technology all the time, like. But I don't think people. Goldens necessarily want to. How many, how many people were on at. Before you and I went on the show because of my job that I didn't understand Instagram.

[Susan]

I know.

[Kathy]

See, I was on Instagram. I was one of the first. I had it when it used to be. And Twitter now MySpace X when it was 140 characters, like from the beginning of time. But you have to want. I think you have to have a. A curious mind to learn.

[Susan]

Yeah, yeah, I understand it. Yeah.

[Kathy]

And I, I think that.

[Susan]

Well, do you remember your. My grandmother, I'm sure yours when we had cell phones or a computer and she was like, oh my God, what is the world coming to? Like, what does that differ. So they had encyclopedias that we look up things.

[Kathy]

You know what I Mean, yeah. Today I will say I love for me all being able to research things online and, and so go down rabbit, you know, type in something on my computer and, and I said type. That's right there. Typewriter. Yeah. But I'm saying I love that. I love learning new technology. I'm not as good as I would like to be, but I, I actually like it. I will tell you, I don't think this affects Goldens as much, but it's my PSA for the day. My biggest problem with social media and it just gets more with. With TikTok and all the different social media platforms. Young people today do not. They first of all spend too much time on technology. They're just glued to their phones. But they also think that everything they see, well, that it's, that it's everyone's complete life. And I always say back when I was an educational consultant, the world that we see, that people post on Instagram, on TikTok, on any social media is the lives they want. It's the lives they want to portray that they're living that kind of life 247 and they're not. And so I think that is a.

[Susan]

Problem with part of the new age, if you will. Because me being in hairdressing and I used to give out a free makeover, color cut, a whole new look, makeup and that would sell me. People would say who did?

[Kathy]

Now you can just do it. You could just google it how to do it.

[Susan]

Well, no, because now you have to advertise for yourself your balayage. You got to take pictures of everything. Every client I worked on a 30 minute book. And then when you're taking pictures, unless you hire a photographer to come in the salon with you, you have to sell yourself out there on social media for hair just because.

[Kathy]

But it. See in some ways I think that's great. It's. I mean there's two sides of it, right? The good side of the coin is the tech boom has made it's connection. It's made connection to, to careers, to jobs, to people, to, to opportunities so much more prevalent. And that's fabulous. I love that part of it. I don't like the part that people spend too much time including Goldens on technology and not developing.

[Susan]

We take so much time sometimes because it takes us a long time to figure it out. Casper?

[Kathy]

Yeah, well, yeah, I'm, I'm better than most. I, I actually though. Could you give up your phone? Could you give up.

[Susan]

No, no, I love that. Not having any.

[Kathy]

Too busy asking chat GBT to write her next letter for. I'm gonna get you off. Off that.

[Susan]

I love that. I love it. All right. We could just talk about this for hours. You know that, right?

[Kathy]

Always.

[Susan]

And that was fun. And I wanted to thank all of our listeners for joining us today. We really enjoy talking with you, sharing our ideas with you, and love when you tell us things.

[Kathy]

Yeah, we really enjoy. Be sure to follow us. Bachelor Happy Hour we have new episodes coming out every week. You don't want to miss even one.

[Susan]

Not at all. And make sure you submit your questions to us and you remember how to do that. Go to bachelor nation.com golden hour or DM us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.

[Kathy]

Yeah, please do that. Take a minute to use your technology to reach out to us. That's what we want. But in the meantime, listen to Bachelor Happy Hours golden hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Until next time, have a great week.

[Susan]

Thank you.

[Narrator]

Chapter 18 Prince Lorian's voice gently wakes you from your dreams of him.

[Kathy]

I can't face one more sunset without you by my side. Come with me and I vow your desires will be my North Star forevermore.

[Narrator]

You're ready. You have Nexplanon etnogestrel implant 68mg radio pack to prevent pregnancy. Mexsplanon is a non daily prescription birth control for women that goes in your arm and may take a few minutes to insert by your doctor. Don't use Nexspanon if you're pregnant or may be pregnant, have or had blood clots or certain cancers, have liver disease, liver tumor or unexplained vaginal bleeding. Once the implant is placed, you and your doctor should feel for it. If at any time you can't feel the implant, contact your doctor right away and use a non hormonal birth control method such as condoms. Removal of the implant may be difficult or impossible if it isn't where it should be while in common ectopic pregnancy. Pregnancy that occurs outside the womb can occur, which can cause serious internal bleeding, infertility and even death. You are likely to experience changes to your period. Ovarian cysts may occur and usually disappear. Nexplanon may raise the chance of serious blood clots which can cause heart attack, stroke or death, especially if you smoke or have other risk factors. Nexplanon doesn't protect against HIV or STDs. With less than one pregnancy per 100 women who use Nexplanon for one year. Nexplanon is over 99% effective, no matter the fantasy. Talk to your doctor, call 1-877-467-5266 or visit nexplanon.com for more information. Ask your doctor about Nexplanon.

[Josh Zeman]

A decade ago, I was on the trail of one of the country's most elusive serial killers. But it wasn't until 2023 when he was finally caught. The answers were there, hidden in plain sight. So why did it take so long to catch him? I'm Josh Zieman and this is Monster Hunting the Long Island Serial Killer, the investigation into the most notorious killer in New York since the Son of Sam. Available now. Listen for free on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

The murder of an 18 year old girl in Graves County, Kentucky went unsolved.

[Narrator]

For years until a local housewife, a.

[Kathy]

Journalist and a handful of girls came.

[Susan]

Forward with a story.

[Kathy]

America, y' all better wake the hell up.

[Susan]

Bad things happens to good people and small towns.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Listen to Graves county on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. And to binge the entire season ad free. Subscribe to Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcasts.

[Kathy]

I'm Eva Longoria. And I'm Maite Gomez Jejuan.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

And this week on our podcast Hungry for History, we talk oysters. Plus the Miami Chief stops by.

[Susan]

If you are not an oyster lover, don't even talk to me.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Ancient Athenians used to scratch names onto.

[Holiday Shopper]

Oyster shells to vote politicians into exile.

[Kathy]

So our word ostracize is related to the word oyster? No way. Bring back the ostrichon.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Listen to Hungry for history on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kathy]

In early 1988, federal agents raced to.

[Holiday Shopper]

Track down the gang they suspect of.

[Kathy]

Importing millions of dollars worth of heroin.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Into New York from Asia.

[Susan]

Had 30 agents ready to go with.

[Kathy]

Shotguns and rifles and you name it.

[Susan]

Five, six white people pushed me in the car. I'm going, what the hell?

[Dr. Jesse Mills]

Basically your stay at home moms were picking up these large amounts of heroin.

[Susan]

All you gotta do is receive the package. Don't have to open it, just accept it.

[Dr. Jesse Mills]

She was very upset, crying.

[Kathy]

Once I saw the gun, I tried to take his hand and I saw the flash of light.

[Susan]

Listen to the Chinatown sting on the.

[Holiday Shopper]

Iheartradio app, Apple Podcasts or any where.

[Kathy]

You get your podcasts.

[Narrator]

This is an iHeart podcast.