Parental Problems | Golden Hour

Summary

Bachelor Happy Hour: Golden Hour

Episode Title: Parental Problems | Golden Hour
Date: September 12, 2025
Hosts: Kathy and Susan
Podcast: Bachelor Happy Hour, by iHeartPodcasts and Warner Bros

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Bachelor Happy Hour: Golden Hour" dives into the complexities of parenting at various stages of life—including when to stop parenting your children, navigating tricky in-law dynamics, and the emotional (and logistical) challenges of "parenting your parents." Hosts Kathy and Susan read and respond to listener questions, share personal stories, and play a humorous game exploring generational quirks and boundaries.

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Main Discussion Points and Insights

1. Question of the Day: Does Parenting Ever End?

[04:03–09:30]

• Evolution of Parenting:

  • Kathy and Susan agree that parenting never truly ends, but changes form as children grow up.
    • Kathy: “I don’t think you ever stop parenting. I do think it looks a little bit different...I try so hard not to interject what I think unless I’m asked.” [04:24]
    • Susan: “I have definitely changed. 100,000% have changed. Because I’ll bite my tongue when I say, you know, you should… you’re raising your family, you do it your way.” [04:50]
  • Both reflect on their tendencies to advise (especially on finances) and the need to let adult children make their own choices.
    • Notable quote—Kathy: “Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems.” [05:27]

• Money Lessons and Parenting:

  • Kathy shares her method of giving allowances and teaching budgeting.
    • “If they wanted to go to the movies with their friend, like they had to learn to budget. And I made them...put their money in the collection.” [07:10]
  • Both acknowledge that financial advice is sometimes the sticking point for continuing parental influence.

• Role Reversal and Aging:

  • They joke about how, as they age, the tables begin to turn and children start looking out for their parents.
    • Kathy: “When the tables sort of flip and our kids sort of start parenting us…” [08:23]

• Grandparenting:

  • Susan notes she’s more lenient with grandkids, sneaking them money and letting things slide.

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2. Advice Segment: Listener Questions

[14:40–35:11]

A. Mother-in-Law Conflicts

Listener: Briana, 42, Seattle
[14:45–20:42]

• Situation:
  Briana writes in about a mother-in-law who seems determined to dislike her, despite Briana's best efforts, impacting her mental health but not her marriage.
• Kathy’s Insight:
  • Empathizes deeply, suggesting an “Oedipus complex” may be at play, with the mother-in-law unable to let go.
  • Advice: Remain polite, avoid letting it come between her and her spouse, and keep up family events, if possible.
    • “All you can do is be polite. Because being polite never goes out of style.” [19:17, Kathy]
• Susan’s Take:
  • Emphasizes patience and the benefit of therapy, for Briana and her partner, even if the mother-in-law refuses.
    • “If you hit a milestone and you succeed, please tell us so we can tell the world.” [20:32, Susan]

B. Parenting Parents

Listener: Melissa, 64, Oxnard
[20:55–25:23]

• Situation:
  Melissa’s 90s-aged father refuses to use a walker or consider assisted living, leaving her feeling like the parent dealing with a stubborn toddler.
• Kathy’s Advice:
  • Plainspoken reality: Unless declared incompetent, aging parents have the right to make their own choices—even if it’s risky or frustrating for their adult children.
    • “Unless you have him declared incompetent, which he doesn’t sound like he is, there’s nothing you can do but do what you’re doing.” [22:11, Kathy]
• Susan’s Perspective:
  • Ultimately, the adult child must respect the parent’s autonomy: “If that’s the way he chooses to go out, let it be.” [23:09, Susan]
  • Both stress maintaining love and connection over control, and trying not to let resentment build.

C. In-law Boundaries

Listener: Chris (assumed spelling correction from "Cress")
[30:07–34:58]

• Situation:
  Chris’s wife is very close to her parents—so much so that they have a key to their house and sometimes hear family news before Chris does.
• Susan’s Suggestion:
  • Clear, respectful boundaries: “You kindly and respectfully ask your in-laws, let me know when you’re coming. I could be coming down the stairs in a towel or naked for that matter.” [31:02, Susan]
• Kathy’s Approach:
  • Talk to the spouse first, then the in-laws. “You need to get buy-in from your wife because you guys are a team.” [34:19, Kathy]
  • Establish boundaries: Ask for a call before visiting and insist that privacy (like unopened mail) is respected.
• Balanced Tone:
  Both stress communication, kindness, and teamwork between spouses—though acknowledge some feelings may get hurt.

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3. Game Segment: “Icky, Picky, or Ooh?”

[35:12–44:42]

A humorous lightning round where Kathy and Susan weigh in on various parenting and relationship behaviors—labeling them as “icky,” “picky,” or giving an “ooh” (cringe/disgust).

Highlighted Scenarios and Responses:

• Parents/in-laws/kids pop in unannounced
  • Kathy: “That’s ew to me.” [36:07]
  • Susan: “I say picky… unless it got monotonous.” [36:12]
• Adults kids living at home:
  • Both: Depends on situation; if permanent, it’s icky/ooh.
• Gives adult kids an allowance:
  • Both: Definite “ew.” [38:02]
• Goes on kids’ honeymoon:
  • Kathy: “Listen, you know what? While he’s on the honeymoon with them, you know where I am? In the lawyer’s office filing for divorce.” [38:29]
• Oversharing relationship fights on social media:
  • Susan: “Icky. I wouldn’t share a fight on social media. That would drive me off.” [40:51]
• Partner wants your location, checks where you are:
  • Both: “Huge ick” if it’s used to control. [42:47]
• Proposes without a ring:
  • Susan tells a personal story of a very low-key proposal, showing it’s not always about the ring, but still… the gesture matters. [43:04]
• Shares intimate bedroom details with friends:
  • Kathy: “It’s beyond…kick him to the curb. That’s alimony, child support, and taking 80% of every dime he has.” [44:04]
  • Susan: “That right there gave you a dick.” (meaning “ick”) [44:31]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Parenting Adult Children:

  • Kathy: “Don’t say anything unless you’re asked.” [04:24]
  • Susan: “I have matured as a parent. I do not call my children every night and tell them to brush their teeth.” [05:24]

• On Parenting Parents:

  • Kathy’s humor: “We as senior citizens have the right to make our own choices. [...] he has the right to wither away, fall every day, unless he breaks a bone.” [22:11]

• On In-Law Intrusion:

  • Susan: “You kindly and respectfully ask your in-laws, let me know when you’re coming. I could be coming down the stairs in a towel or naked for that matter.” [31:02]
  • Kathy: “They must call before coming and your wife must talk to you before she has them over…” [32:16]

• On Game Answers:

  • Kathy: “He went with his kids on their honeymoon—while he’s on the honeymoon with them, you know where I am? In the lawyer’s office filing for divorce.” [38:29]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Topic | Start Time | |-------------------------------------------|---------------| | Start of Show/Intro | 02:58 | | Question of the Day: Does Parenting End? | 04:03 | | On Allowances, Money & Grandkids | 06:48 | | Role Reversal: Kids Parenting Parents | 08:23 | | Advice: Briana’s Mother-in-Law Conflict | 14:45 | | Advice: Melissa Parenting Her Parent | 20:55 | | Advice: Chris Setting In-law Boundaries | 30:07 | | Game: “Icky, Picky or Oooh?” | 35:12 | | Best Quotes & Recap of Issues | 44:42 |

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Tone and Style

Warm, witty, and empathetic, Kathy and Susan approach every topic candidly and with humor, often poking fun at themselves and each other (“cry me a river, Susan!” [08:23]). Their advice is rooted in lived experience, seasoned with a no-nonsense edge and a healthy dose of self-deprecating humor.

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For New Listeners

Even if you haven’t tuned in before, this episode offers relatable insights for anyone navigating complex family dynamics—be it parenting adult children, caring for aging parents, or drawing healthy boundaries with in-laws. The lively banter and honest anecdotes make the advice feel authentic, accessible, and reassuring.

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To hear your question answered or join the conversation, check out Bachelor Happy Hour’s Golden Hour at bachelornation.com/goldenhour or on social @bachelorhappyhour.

Transcript

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Kathy]

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[Susan]

Welcome back, everybody, to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thank you so much for joining us again this week, and we are so excited to be back. Hey, Kathy, you're looking good.

[Kathy]

Thanks, Susan. So are you. How are you doing today?

[Susan]

Good.

[Kathy]

Good, good, good, good, good. Okay, well, if you haven't done it yet, I know you have, Susan, but the rest of you, if you haven't done it, now is the time to follow our podcast. So you never miss an episode. Just search for Bachelor Happy Hour in the podcast app and. And hit the follow button.

[Susan]

And it's super important that you follow the podcast so you get notified every time there's a new episode and you don't wanna miss it. Also, while you're there, write us a review. You know, Kathy, I've been receiving emails about our podcast. I love it, but I just wish they'd write in so we could say it on there.

[Kathy]

Okay, folks, write in and make sure to check out all of our past episodes. We have been having a blast talking to your Bachelor Nation faves and answering all your questions. So keep them [e-mail] Golden Hour.

[Susan]

Do you memorize that one, Kath? Don't we say that a lot?

[Kathy]

I got it down.

[Susan]

All right, now let's get started with our favorite part, the question of the day. All right, when do you stop parenting your kids? Or do you ever. For example, does parenting ever really end or does it just change over time? What do you think?

[Kathy]

Well, I really don't have time to do this podcast today because I have to go take care of my adult children. I don't think you ever stop parenting. I do think it looks a little bit different. I'm more of when my kids come to me as an advisor, give them my thoughts. I really try so hard not to interject what I think unless I'm asked. You know, don't say anything unless you're asked. What about you?

[Susan]

I have definitely changed. 100,000% have changed. Because I'll bite my tongue when I say, you know, you should. And I thought you're raising your family, you do it your way. I. Kathy, I gotta tell you, I don't agree a lot of times.

[Kathy]

Oh, sweetie. You and I share the. My two year old granddaughter, they're raising her to be a terrorist.

[Susan]

That's because she's two. That's all.

[Kathy]

I hope to God you're right. I will say I. I have matured as a parent. I do not call my children every night and tell them to brush their teeth?

[Susan]

No. God, no. No. Or tell them how to keep their.

[Kathy]

Homes or clean their rooms or. I mean, I don't know. I was the kind of parent that I was. I don't want to call myself a helicopter mom, but I had, and I bet you were the same. I had certain rules like their rooms had to be cleaned, they had to do their homework, they had to put their clothes away. And so that was parenting when they were younger. Now, you know, little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems. Right. So when my kids come to me now, it's usually a bigger sort of life issue. Does that make sense?

[Susan]

Yes, it is. And the only thing I might still give some advice is financial advice. I want to teach them what I missed and how important it is to put money away and how, you know, like my son and my one son and my daughter in law, God forbid, I hate even saying this out loud. When they lost their child, it was almost six years ago, but they had a lawsuit that was settled and they're living very comfortably. They decided not to move and they put so much money in their house. It looks absolutely beautiful. But. And I go, Chris, I'm saying half of that should have been invested, Mom, I have X amount of dollars. I said, no, no, no, no. With what you had, you better put a lot more. They got new cars and I get.

[Kathy]

It, but I mean, it's really, I think raising kids. Like, did you give your kids an allowance? Because when I parented my kids, they got, I think they started when they were maybe 9 or 10 and I gave them their age in money. So 10. They got $10 a week.

[Susan]

That's a good idea.

[Kathy]

Well, but here's the thing. If they wanted to go to the movies with their friend, like they had to learn to budget. And I made them, you know, back in those days, we took them to church every Sunday. They had to put money in the. Their money in the collection.

[Sponsor Voice]

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[Susan]

Wow, that's good.

[Kathy]

Well, and here I sit today.

[Susan]

Helicopter mom.

[Kathy]

No, I just wanted them. But I will tell you, my kids are not. I mean, they all work hard, but I think money is probably, as you and I have talked, money can be the root of all evil. Oh, wait, that's another show.

[Susan]

A whole show.

[Kathy]

But money is tough. I mean, and I think our kids have a hard time learning those lessons. So parenting like that, I don't think of it as parenting. I think of it more like we're their friends. We're more than their friends, but we're not parenting in the Traditional sense of the word. You know, telling them what. What to do.

[Susan]

And they have advice wise when they come to us. Yeah, I mean, you always do that. But you can't tell them what to do now. You know, they're adults. I cannot believe my babies. Kathy turned 37 and my daughter next month in a 10 days or she's going to be 40 years old. How is that even possible?

[Kathy]

I don't know. My oldest just turned last week, turned 44. So, you know, cry me a river, Susan, I'm telling you, I got. I can't. I mean, I remember being that age, but whatever. You know what I'm afraid of? It's not part of the question of the day, but what the heck? You know what I'm worried about is when we get old, which I'm never getting old. Let's just start there. But. But you know, when the tables sort of flip and our kids sort of start parenting us to do. Like mom. Like my kids are already saying, mom, don't get on that ladder. You know, you don't need to break another leg. I mean, that's gonna happen one of these days where there is.

[Susan]

I think it's already begun. Trista said a couple things to me. Mom, you should I go. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not there yet.

[Kathy]

Well, that's the problem, Susan. You and I are never gonna be there. You and I, we're gonna move to some great place and raise hell. Wherever we are, they're gon to go. Aren't that. I don't care If I'm done 88.

[Susan]

I'm going to raise L. I don't care.

[Kathy]

That's right.

[Susan]

It's about living, you know.

[Kathy]

That's right.

[Susan]

And you're right. Our parent. And even with my grandchildren.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Susan]

I don't reprimand them as often as I did my own children. And I think that's a given because we're grandmoms. But I will tell them what's not, what's wrong. You know, you don't do that or.

[Kathy]

My children are perfect. I don't have to tell them.

[Susan]

I'll let them slide a whole lot.

[Kathy]

All right.

[Susan]

And I sneak them money, you know.

[Kathy]

You sneak the money?

[Susan]

Yes. And Stella give her money and she.

[Kathy]

Goes, look, Mommy, what is Stella? She's four. What you going to do with money?

[Susan]

She's cool.

[Kathy]

Put it in a bank account for Susan. Put it in a bank.

[Susan]

And then my older ones, my teenage ones, like Mimi, can I have a 20? You know, back in my day, it was a dollar was a lot. 50 cents.

[Kathy]

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[Kathy]

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[Sponsor Voice]

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[Kathy]

All right, let's move into our advice portion of the day. I'm going to read the first one, okay?

[Susan]

Okay.

[Kathy]

All right, here we go. This one is from Briana. She's 42, from Seattle. Hi golden ladies. I've been a loyal listener since the very beginning, and now I find myself needing some of your wisdom. Well, thanks for listening, Briana. Okay, I'm struggling with my relationship with my mother in Law. Oh, here we go. To put it simply, she just doesn't like me. No matter what I do, it feels like she's always searching for something to hold against me. While this tension hasn't damaged my marriage, thankfully my partner and I are solid. It is starting to wear me down right now. She's even refusing to speak to my spouse. And I can't help but feel responsible, even though we both know the issues aren't really about me. We've tried to work on this through therapy, but she refuses to participate, take accountability, or get help for her part in the dynamic that leaves us feeling stuck. We have a family get together and we're in this for the long haul, but so is she. My husband loves his mom and wants a relationship with her. I'm at a loss for how to handle the situation in a way that preserves my sanity and keeps the peace. How can we move forward when the dynamic feels this toxic and unfixable? Appreciate your help and love you too. Wow. Let me just tell you, I've never met Briana, but since I lived Brianna's life, let me tell you what's going on. Every thing is a problem and everything is Briana's problem. The food's cooked wrong, their vacations are in the wrong place. They don't spend enough time with their mother in law. She stole her mother in law's son. I mean, how long do you want me to go on? It's. It literally is. Briana can do nothing. Right. That's what the deal is. And there's some sort of Oedipus complex going on here where, you know, the mom just can't let go of her son. So what's your advice to her, Susan?

[Susan]

You know, Kathy, I couldn't help but think it's you every time. But as you said, it could be anything she does. Maybe she just doesn't care for her. And that brings up what we talked about a few weeks ago. You try only for so long. For your family's sake, for your husband's sake. And then if it were me, I would get to the point. Well, oh, well, you know, if you can't respect me, I'm not.

[Kathy]

Here's the thing. You don't want it to become a wedge between you and your spouse, right? Or your partner or whoever. You don't. But here's the thing. If the mom, and it's usually the mom, has a jealousy, you know, you don't know what's going on in her life. Maybe her marriage isn't great. Maybe she doesn't. Maybe she feels like you should move closer to her. You know, you don't know what's going through her head. But what you do know, and the fact is she doesn't like you. And I knew my mother in law, she would vacillate, she would say, oh no, I really like you. But only when my husband would go to her and pray.

[Susan]

Susan.

[Kathy]

Well, yes. And when he said, mom, I'll never forget Susan. They, my mother in law actually liked me a little bit better off and on than my father in law. But again, my father in law, they just, they grew up very different, different culture. They grew up in farm towns. I grew up in the city.

[Susan]

Let me ask you a question. Did you try in the beginning like I did?

[Kathy]

You have no idea how much I did for my mother in law, really. And when my father in law died, I did even more. But here's what I will say. My husband said to his mother and his father one time when I got really upset cause I'd had it, you know, up to here. And Darrell said, mom, dad, we've been married, whatever it was at the time, We've been married 35 years. Do you think it stood the test of time? Can you get on board? Well, of course, they never could. So my advice to Brianna is she may or may not get on board, but a, don't let it come between you and your husband. Be polite when you see her. You know, if you're at a birthday party, if your kids, it's your child's birthday party, for example, tell her how glad you are to see her, you know that it's going to make your.

[Susan]

Child'S birthday because after a while you're.

[Kathy]

Not going to get. No, no, no. But if you say, look, we're so glad you're here for Johnny's birthday.

[Susan]

Yeah. Thank you for coming.

[Kathy]

Thank you for coming. And all you can do is be polite. Because being polite never goes out of style.

[Susan]

I want to go off course just for a second. Did you happen to watch the Hunting Wives?

[Kathy]

No, I don't watch it.

[Susan]

You talk about a mother in law attached to her son like it was eerie.

[Kathy]

Well, but that's the point. This is not. Brianna, I hate to say this to you. You are not alone in this. I mean, this is a very common issue. It just is. And I don't. The only advice I can give you is be kind to her. Ultimately, you're right, Susan. I did give up, but it took me two. But I gave up the last two years of her life.

[Susan]

You know, I'm pray for patience for her.

[Kathy]

You know, I think that the therapy, by the way, is a good idea. And even if she refuses to go to therapy, Brianna, you go. Go with your partner because for your relationship, because at the end of the day, your child, your relationship with your spouse or partner is the most important one.

[Susan]

Yeah, it's her family now, you know.

[Kathy]

That's right.

[Susan]

That's his family, but it's her family. That's the first time.

[Kathy]

It's hurtful, though. It's hurtful.

[Susan]

Oh, gosh, I know. And you know what? Thank you, Briana, for writing in to us. And we're really curious. If you hit a milestone and you succeed, please tell us that we could tell the world.

[Kathy]

Yes, let us know. Let us know. And, you know, just keep trying to do those family events as much as you can. And by the way, if none of that works, take a swig of vodka before she comes.

[Susan]

Okay, let's move on. This one is from Melissa, and she is 64 years young from Oxnard. Hi, Kathy and Susan. I have a question for you. I first noticed this in my 30s and now again in my 60s. What do we do when the roles reverse and we find ourselves parenting our parents?

[Kathy]

Oh, my goodness. Okay.

[Susan]

I'm in my 60s and my dad is in his 90s, God bless him.

[Kathy]

Is he single?

[Susan]

He's had several falls recently, but he refuses to use a walker and absolutely won't consider moving into an independent living facility, even though it would give him community care and resources. I've flown across the country multiple times to visit facilities with him, and they're truly wonderful, but he won't budge. It feels like I'm dealing with a defiant, stubborn toddler, and I'm the one who has to make the adult decisions. I'm constantly worried about him, and I don't know how to convince him that it is time. How do you navigate this stage of life with love without losing your sanity? I adore you both. And I love the podcast, Melissa. Thank you. Oh, God.

[Kathy]

I can't take. I can give this answer. She's not gonna like it, Melissa, but I dealt with this with my stepmom who died a few years ago at 96. I feel your pain, but here's the simple answer, Melissa. Unless you have him declared incompetent, which he doesn't sound like he is, there's nothing you can do but do what you're doing, because he has the right to wither away, fall every day unless he breaks a bone. And a doctor says you cannot go home unless you have 24 hour care. Then you're going to get your wish and he'll be in long term care. But other than that, unfortunately, we as senior citizens have the right to make our own choices.

[Susan]

Yes. And I couldn't agree with you more. And unfortunately, and this might sound harsh, but if that's the way he chooses to go out, let it, Let it be.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Susan]

You know, you cannot control that. But I get what she's saying, how we were parents and now we're parenting our parents.

[Kathy]

That's what I said earlier. Right. We were talking about then the question of the day. It's so hard, Melissa, to watch a vibrant person. Your dad, who, you know, carried you around, put you on his shoulders and now is having trouble standing. I don't mean to sound insensitive, it's awful.

[Susan]

But the fact is we get older.

[Kathy]

Yes.

[Susan]

And my kids, we had a conversation the other day on their birthday dinner. They said, listen, don't put me away. There'll be no inheritance left. That cost a lot of money. Just give me a cocktail, make me go to sleep.

[Kathy]

Mom, mom, we'll go to jail.

[Susan]

I was like, no, seriously, I don't. That's not my plan. Some people plan for that. What she's talking about is not an old folks home. It's independent living. It's just another place that you can still be you and do what you want. You could still have a car. You know, he's not letting go of his home. So you have to.

[Kathy]

You know what? I have to be honest, Susan. I've already told my kids there's going to be $1.96 left in my checking account. No. Because I'm not to go in. And my kids are always joking, saying, oh, come on, mom, you'll be the life of the party. You'll be. You'll be decorating for all the parties. You'll be doing the dancing. I'm like, nope.

[Susan]

You know what my fears, Kathy? They're all old people in there. And I'm. No, I'm not old.

[Kathy]

They don't think they're old either, Susan. They don't think.

[Susan]

They. I want to surround myself with younger people and keep on moving, but that's why I feel your pain, Melissa. I do.

[Kathy]

Well, let us know, Melissa. But. And I know, I know it's hard. It's just one of those. The way you navigate it is you love him, you check on him, you do what you can do, and then you have to let it go and just, you know, let it play.

[Susan]

And you don't want him to resent her for constantly trying to move him. You know, keep that relationship healthy with your dad. I know you think it's better, and it probably is, but if that's what he chooses, that's what he gets.

[Kathy]

Yeah. Also, I would say she's flown across the country multiple times. Think of the miles you're stacking up, Melissa. So you'll be able to take a vacation. I mean, look for the positive in this. In this issue.

[Susan]

Moving right along.

[Kathy]

All right, here we go. Let us know. That would. Good luck.

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[Kathy]

Okay, this one is from Cress. Hi, my name is Chris. My wife and I have been married for 10 years. We have three kids and overall we share a really wonderful marriage. The only ongoing challenge we face is her parents. She's incredibly close to them, which I love. But at times it feels like the boundaries between our marriage and her family aren't very clear. They often stop by unannounced and since my wife gave them keys to our house, I sometimes come home to find them just hanging out. Once I even came home to my mother in law opening my mail. On top of that, when my wife was pregnant, she told her parents before she told me and that really stung. I love how much she values her relationship with them, but I also want to feel like I'm the number one person in her life. Do you have any advice on how to set healthier boundaries without damaging their closeness? Oh hell yeah, I do.

[Susan]

Oh God. First of all, you're not going to damage their closeness. They are close. Yeah, but that's your house. And you kindly and respectfully ask your in laws, let me know when you're coming. I could be coming down the stairs in a towel or naked for that matter. I can't have you walking in unexpected.

[Kathy]

I think I would handle it a little bit differently. Shocker. I would. I think I would talk to my wife or my case, but I would give the positive first. You know, I love how close you are with your parents. I love having them so close to us. But I am struggling and it doesn't work for me. And I would say to her, if I were you, Chris, I would say it's very hurtful to me that, you know, you tell your parents things before me. We are a marriage, we have a bond. I love that you're close with your family, but there's some changes that need to be made and that's called establishing healthy boundaries. So the first boundary would be that.

[Susan]

Communication, like we always say.

[Kathy]

Right. But I'm saying the first boundary that, Chris, that you're going to have to set because your wife isn't going to do it is they must call before coming and that your wife must talk to you before she has them over so that you're not coming home when you're tired. You just want to put your feet up and you found the table set for four and you're in lawsuit.

[Susan]

What about him walking in, opening his mail?

[Kathy]

Excuse me, but see, I would say that to the wife. If you can't see, if I were Chris, if you cannot see that, this is wrong. So I would say I'm gonna talk to your parents about opening my mail. I'm gonna talk to them about these things, but I want you to work with me because we're a team. In other words, he has to. Chris, you have to have buy in from your wife.

[Susan]

She's obviously blind to it because she's so used to her parents and being that comfortable. Maybe her parents opened her mail, I don't know. But that's a big taboo. That is huge. And you're right. Talk to your wife first so she understands where you're coming from. And do it with tons of respect. Tell them how much you love them and that they're welcome there anytime.

[Kathy]

However, no, no, no. You can't say, you're welcome anytime. We love seeing you, but please do not come any longer unannounced. And you know what, Chris? They might get their feelings hurt. You know what?

[Susan]

I would stand there and hug them and say, I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, babe. You can come anytime you want. Just let me know first.

[Kathy]

Susan may hear me. That's not what he wants to say because he may not want them there anytime. In other words, play this out with me. I call up and go, hey, Chris, you know, hey, Susie, whatever her name is. We'll be over in five minutes. And then Chris is like, no, I want to sit in my skivvies and chug beers tonight. I don't want your parents here.

[Susan]

But he's given them. She's. They're announcing that they're coming in five minutes. And you instantly say, it's not a good time.

[Kathy]

That's right.

[Susan]

That would be his.

[Kathy]

So the boundaries are, you wait for an invitation, you wait for an invitation, you never open my mail. And they're going to be hurt, Chris. But you got to get buy in from your wife because you guys are a team. All these questions today sort of relate have similar underlying theme, which is whether you're married, partners, whatever, you're together for each other and you have to come first with each other.

[Susan]

Chris, you love your wife. Obviously you have a great solid marriage. So you do need to get her to understand where you're coming from, what it looks like from your point of view.

[Kathy]

That's Right.

[Susan]

And once she gets that, I'm sure it's going to work out.

[Kathy]

But listen, let us know. And Chris, and be kind. Yes. And Chris, if your in laws are listening and there's any big checks in the mail, send them to me. We'll split it. All right, let's move on.

[Susan]

It's game time. Well, Kathy, how about today, though? All three of them was about parenting or us becoming parents to our parents and in law issues. And I can't tell you, there's probably millions of people in the world that deal with this.

[Kathy]

It's so sad. I know. And this is why the game we should be playing today is drink or dare, because that.

[Susan]

That topic has me always. Okay, you know, we're going to play around of icky or picky or both about parenting and dating. We'll switch off reading the ick and we'll say if we agree or if we think it's just picky. I'll start us off. But wait, didn't we add another word.

[Kathy]

In there for ooh, icky, picky or oo.

[Susan]

Okay, his parents and or kids pop in unannounced.

[Kathy]

I'm telling you, that's ew to me.

[Susan]

I say picky.

[Kathy]

Pick what I do. We just talked about the question. I know. And you think it's being.

[Susan]

That never bothered me. And if they walk in on me doing something they don't approve of. Oh, well.

[Kathy]

Wow. Okay. Well, I thought we were on the same page, that he really had to talk to his family. Yes, but you're saying you wouldn't care.

[Susan]

I mean, unless it got monotonous. I mean, to the point where yo. But for me, I am who I am. And if you come in and you're not going to be happy with whatever it is I might be doing or how I'm dressed or whatever, then maybe you'll think twice before you do it again.

[Kathy]

Oh, Susan. Okay, we can't belabor this, but I'm just telling you, if my husband and I are sitting down, I've forgotten what that feels like. But if we're just sitting down watching a movie with popcorn and my in laws popped in, or my grown children popped in, I would say your children.

[Susan]

Can'T come popping in.

[Kathy]

I never pop into my children's home. I always call first. Always.

[Susan]

Fair enough.

[Kathy]

And I, by the way, by the way, I have key to my children's home. And I never, ever walk in unannounced.

[Susan]

And by that husband still walks in unannounced.

[Kathy]

Oh, God. All right, we're moving on here. Here's the next one. His adult kids live with him. To me, that all depends on the situation. On the situation. I can't answer icky, picky, or ooh, it might be. I might have a big heart on my sleeve. For the child. It just all depends on the situation.

[Susan]

They could be going through something, but if it's one that they never moved out.

[Kathy]

Yeah, that would definitely be an ick. No, that would be an.

[Susan]

Oh, my goodness. Wait to hear the next one. He gives his adult kids an allowance.

[Kathy]

Do you see my face, Susan, Secret ballot.

[Susan]

If you want to give your kids money, give them one lump sum and say, here you go. We're done here.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Susan]

And that's just you.

[Kathy]

That's just.

[Susan]

Ew.

[Kathy]

Okay, okay, okay. I'm sorry. I can't even say this one with the straight things.

[Susan]

Oh, my God.

[Kathy]

He went with his kids on their honeymoon.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Ew.

[Kathy]

Listen, you know what? While he's on the honeymoon with them, you know where I am? In the lawyer's office filing for divorce. Oh, my God.

[Susan]

Who does that?

[Kathy]

All right.

[Susan]

A guy who wants to get matching couples tattoos with you, Nick.

[Kathy]

Oh, no, I. If. Well, it depends.

[Susan]

If I don't get tattoos, well, that.

[Kathy]

I don't either, but if I did.

[Susan]

But it's a sweet thing.

[Kathy]

Yeah, it's sweet thing. I don't think it's icky picky.

[Susan]

Yeah, maybe that's just picky. Yeah. Okay, we'll go with that.

[Kathy]

All right. He's really into. He's really into baby talking. Using little baby voices.

[Susan]

I don't know what I would do. I'd probably crack up in his face. What the hell are you doing?

[Kathy]

I mean, you know, that's a picky.

[Susan]

Because maybe some women turned on by that. Who knows?

[Kathy]

I mean, like, if he says, look, sweetie pie, I wore it the Jaguar dealer, and I'm gonna buy you that. Perfect. Exactly. I'm going to give a baby talk right back. Perfect. Let's go.

[Susan]

Okay. Some who send someone who sends a good morning and a good night text every single day.

[Kathy]

I love it. I knew I love it. Oh, please. We're moving.

[Susan]

I think it should be that way.

[Kathy]

Okay, couples who over.

[Susan]

Wait, wait, wait. You didn't say anything. What's your choice there? You don't like it?

[Kathy]

I think it's picky. I mean, listen, I think anything if it's rote. If every day I texted you Susan said good morning, and every day I texted you said good night, it's like, you know, it would Lose.

[Susan]

You're not my boyfriend, though.

[Kathy]

And thankfully I'm not. I'm just. It doesn't say.

[Susan]

I mean, would it bother you, like.

[Kathy]

No, no, no. It doesn't say a boyfriend. It says someone who sends a good morning.

[Susan]

I assume it was in a relationship.

[Kathy]

All right, great. But guess what?

[Susan]

If somebody. If somebody you were, and they sent you a good morning every morning or a good diet or sleep, well, that would be.

[Kathy]

It'd be fine if I were in a serious relationship. But if it's just a guy I'm dating. No, I don't want to hear from you every day.

[Susan]

Fair enough.

[Kathy]

Okay. Couples who overshare on social media share fights, lots of pda, which is public displays of affection, et cetera. What do you think?

[Susan]

Icky. I wouldn't share a fight on social media. That would drive me off.

[Kathy]

I think it's. Ew. I think. I just think that we are sharing too much on social media.

[Susan]

Sleeping in separate bedrooms from your partner.

[Kathy]

Only be as the flu or that.

[Susan]

Snoring is just beyond, like, that. That depends. No, because as people age, I know a lot of people that have their own rooms now, like, older people. But it's a snoring thing.

[Kathy]

No, I mean, obviously, I have my own bedroom right now, but I could see it if they were sick or on the occasional night, if I had to get up really early or something like that. But to maintain a separate bedroom, I like to put my cold feet on their back to warm up in the winter.

[Susan]

That would be, I guess, a picky one. That depends on the individual. I don't know.

[Kathy]

Yeah. All right.

[Susan]

He wants to wear matching outfits.

[Kathy]

Okay, that is just icky.

[Susan]

That's just hysterical. I know Fred, when we're going out dancing, he'll go, darling, what color are you wearing? Because he wants to blend with me. I said, that's so cute, but we don't.

[Kathy]

Wait. Can I just tell you on paradise, all the couples. That is so funny. You said that they. I. Of course, y' all compliment it. No, no, no. I was slow to the game. Like, they'd come out and, you know, they'd. Jess would have on a blue dress, and Spencer would have on, like, a blue and white shirt. And about the third time it happened, when they were in the same color, I went, what do you two have, like, telephones in your room? And they went like, oh, no, we talk about it. We want to make sure we're Mac implemented. I'm looking at Keith and me. You know, I'm in green. He's in red. He's in copper. I'm in black. I was like, okay, whatever. All right. He wants to have your local. Oh, this is an interesting one, Susan. He wants to have your location and constantly checks it, asking about where you are.

[Susan]

No, I can't do the where you are thing. You can see my location because I don't have anything to hide. But if you're going to question it, that's a big ick.

[Kathy]

I would agree with you. That is a huge ick. If he's going to question it, he.

[Susan]

Proposes without a ring and instead, just a promise. Well, that's.

[Kathy]

That's not a proposal. That's not a proposal. It happened to you.

[Susan]

That's how Dickie proposed. Kid, you not walking down the beach at sunset in Miami. I mean, in Maui. And he's like, isn't this beautiful?

[Kathy]

What's your other proposal? On the beach in Miami?

[Susan]

No, no. And I go, oh, my gosh, it is. And he goes, you know, if I ever got married, this is where I'd want to do it. And I go, yeah, how about that? This would be absolutely beautiful. And I just kept walking, and we were quiet. And he goes, well, I said, well, what? Well, I just. That was a proposal. Do you have a ring?

[Kathy]

Did you say that? Yes.

[Susan]

He goes, no. We could go to the diamond guy and we would get one. I was like, oh, my God. That's it? You didn't get down on one knee? I didn't. Surprise with a box. I can't wait to see you.

[Kathy]

Should have known that marriage was due. I should have known. No ring and not down on one knee. I don't think that's icky or picky again. Maybe he wants to take you shopping for the ring. Who knows?

[Susan]

As long as he keeps his promise.

[Kathy]

Okay, this one. I'm just gonna say. I'm gonna answer what my before I read it. It's beyond. Ooh, it's kick him to the curb. It's alimony, child support, and taking 80% of every dime he has. Go ahead, read it.

[Susan]

He shares all of our bedroom details with his friends being plural. That right there gave you a dick.

[Kathy]

No, I just told you. It's so beyond for Kathy. Oh, no, I told you. It's kick him to the curb. He'll be living in his tent when I'm done with him.

[Susan]

Oh, my God, I love it.

[Kathy]

All right, well, this was fun. That was super fun. And unfortunately, Susan, the fun has come to an end. But wait.

[Susan]

I'm just happy that neither one of us have mother in laws.

[Kathy]

That's true. And you're closer to one than I am. You're closer to getting one than I am. All right, that does it for this episode of Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour. It was so much fun.

[Susan]

Thanks so much for joining us today. We love hearing from you. We love doing this for you and make sure you follow Bachelor Happy Hour as we have new episodes coming out every week and you don't want to miss them.

[Kathy]

And make sure you submit your questions to us. You can go to bachelornation.com goldenhour or hit us up on social@bachelorhappyhour.

[Susan]

Absolutely. Listen to Bachelor Happy Hours golden hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your podcast. See you next time.

[Kathy]

Take care.

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